Hi all! Carmen here, so glad to see that people are finding this helpful! I saw some people ask about making it so they could fill it out online, and others concerned about creating paper clutter (I hear you on that one!!!). If you want to edit an electronic copy of the worksheet, you can copy it into your own google drive and then it will be your own private copy. You go to file and select "make a copy." If you don't have a google account, then "file, download" should let you open it in a standard word processing program, although it might look a little unsightly (I haven't tested that).
@@rgnewlife6622 Hi Rene, please do not post your personal information out on the internet such as your email. You never know who may see it (or misuse it for that matter). If you'd like to view the worksheet, there is a link to it in the description. I hope this helps you out, have a lovely day :)
When she talks about the clutter/overwhelm/avoidance cycle, sometimes I do a short-term fix to break that: physically cover the area that's stressing me out, like with a blanket or something, it reduces the "overwhelm" and helps me get started.
Brilliant! This comment just made me realize why I can only clean my half of the bedroom when my BF has just cleaned his... even though it's not my mess, it's still contributing to overwhelm. Huh!
I will sometimes do a similar thing: I'll put part of the mess in the closet temporarily so I can deal with another part. edit: to clarify, I put it in my laundry basket (which is typically empty) which makes it mentally clutter in motion rather than just stasis in the closet.
@@enesthi Lol! I can relate! We are currently remodeling our kitchen and had to pack up the cupboards... I've found several of one spice, several times!!!
"Some level of clutter is inevitable" is so reassuring to hear, I'm actually crying. I just looked around at my morning coffee spot and noticed how messy it is again, but I congratulated myself because it was a lot messier last week before I had cleaned it.
I always think of houses on tv or in magazines or even people’s houses when they’re hosting parties and stuff and how everything is clean and put away, but daily life isn’t like that. You have to actually use things and make a mess to live. I need to focus more on making my spaces functional rather than picture perfect…
I feel so accepted and understood when listening to you speak. I am ashamed of my mess and paralyzed with fear of the condemnation when reaching out to ask for help. Thanks for encouraging this 61 year old.
Every surface turns into a nightmare in moments! 😆 I end up using the floor as the table, the tables as drawers, and idkwtf is going on inside those drawers😭❤️😆
@@frogandtoady lol 😄 years ago I moved into an apartment and used a box full of clothes as a chair for so long that the box broke. I proceeded to use the broken box and clothes pile as a "recliner" on the floor for longer than I'd like to admit 😁
@@wadepatton2433 Soup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! three months too late pretty good for me :D. Think about it. vegetables lentils stock water Slow cooker (litters of convenience). Goes in coffee cups. Rinses, fridges, freezes. Pro tip peel with a knife, life's short and compost isn't waist. Stag tip Soup in a batch. Meat daily assuming you can be arsed. Cured meats are just as good in a pinch. Entertaining Korean bbq Literally a hot plate (camp stove) at the table. Massive savings on double platting.
Oh man xD I have an antique armoire thing with doors that open up and I keep hanging homeless stuff on it!! The drawers inside are so full/in chaos that I couldn't close the cabinets if I wanted too.....it was cool when it was just " ah I'll wear this tomorrow.." but it has become the place for things that aren't really dirty or need a bit of mending as well...drawers become shelves, and chairs become laundry baskets, The fireplace becomes a jewelry box and my office is where projects go to die 🤣
I used to drive my Mum crazy because I wouldn’t notice things that needed tidying. Like, it’s been there so long it’s just part of the room now. I literally don’t see it.
This makes me cry because I connect with it on so many levels! "Being the only woman who can't keep the house clean" that's me, and after 38 years I am learning I'm not the only one, and why every book I red, Every method I tried never stuck.
Same here. (Except 40 years in) It's looking like my son may have ADHD, and the more and more I learn about it, the more I think I do too. 40 years of shame. The relief in realizing maybe there's a reason I struggle with these things.
Yes. It's nice to not feel alone in this state of being so messy. I'm in three groups with people who have kids the same age as mine, toddler and baby (which is a lot for anyone) but I have one of the least tidy houses, possibly the least tidy. Even in my dbt group where everyone else also has mental health struggles in addition to kids.
0:22 - 0:47 Yes! Exactly how I explained it to my boyfriend! It’s hard to clean or do any task while having adhd(from mom), some ocd(from dad), dissociation due to trauma, and also mal-adaptive daydreaming. People think you’re just lazy and if you try to explain, they think you’re making excuses.
and with autism it's terrible when I was raised in the south AND we were taught girls should be clean n tidy if we can't keep a house up how can we ever keep a man ? basically our value as a woman is based on how well we can clean and cook and still go to work full time (working overtime) with a part time job plus full time college plus church on sunday with the family. smfh
My therapist didn't get this years ago when I told her. She said oh, you're Ocd is really bad right now? So you've been cleaning the house like crazy? No, it's a dang mess! 😂 @@ittyfittykelly
@@MrKeychange Yeah as a man I've always felt plenty of shame about this from parents, roommates, etc. It's been a problem as long as I can remember and very seldom can I seem to self-motivate long enough to clean everything to everyone else's standard. I'm supposed to clean my basement today but I'm terrified to take dirty dishes upstairs for fear of judgment from roommates.
@taughtmetobloom, I agree, a little bit of stuff lying around looks like a human being lives in this space. I wouldn't want to live in a furniture store exhibit.
@@MrKeychange my house gets cluttered I get criticism from family and friends - my husband doesn't because apparently it's not his "job". I have complained when my in-laws were around and my father-in-law told me that "It's your responsibility to keep the house in order, it's got nothing to with him. You just need to work harder."
I've got adhd and i actually figured this out a few years ago. Whenever I obtain a new item, I immediately make a home for it so i know if I'm not using it goes there and if I cant find a home for it, I make one by buying some furniture that helps or coming up with a DIY solution. I have dozens of hooks, baskets and extra shelves around my house because of this and it works pretty well. It also helps me not lose things because they are always in the same place. And for sheets of paper, I have a folder that i just shove all my sheets into immediately I get them so that I can properly sort them out later; although we all know that most of the time that never happens, I'm comfortable knowing that I cant lose the sheets because they are all in one place and usually when the folder gets full I then will spend time filing everything and deciding what's still useful and not. I also always leave an empty space by my door and by my desk as a visual reminder of whether I'm putting stuff away or not and I just have a rule in my head that nothing should be there unless it will move within the next week. Also for my solution to not leaving plates, cutlery and cups everywhere is to only have 1 of everything. If you only have one plate, one cup, one set of cutlery and a few pots and pans then if they're dirty and you want to use them then you have to wash them. Also, it means you can never have loads of unwashed dishes because you don't have many. If you live with other people just make it 1 set of dishes per person and if you plan to have people over you can have extra dishes but keep them in a difficult to reach place so that its harder to get those than it is to wash the dishes. Not being a messy person is kinda my only ADHD "win" so I'm quite proud it; I'm failing at pretty much everything else but at least I can say I'm relatively clean and tidy
I second only using one set of dishes so nothing stays dirty. I hate having bugs in my space and washing and reusing that one set prevents a home for them. And at my house everyone's dishes are color coded and we just use our own set. Definitely great advice considering I hate doing dishes and there's disposable when you really can't be bothered to wash a dish or forget.
@@mintbrownieangelfish-6114 Oh we don't usually have company, but there are some plain dishes somewhere. We just only use our own set most of the time. There is a dishwasher too so if we needed to we could throw everything in and run it. And disposable dishes can also be used so we don't want to wash much.
As another woman who gets annoyed with herself for being the only one who can't keep her house clean, I completely relate. I'm so relieved to know that I'm actually not the only one. ♥
As a feng shui consultant, clutter is drummed into our training as being “bad feng shui”’and “negative energy”. I knew it had nothing to do with that and more about how our stories of stuff were impacting how we treated it and ourselves. I always say that piles aren’t the problem, it’s the stagnation of the piles. I love this video for the perspective shift, especially about the comfort to tech item ratio balance!
I'm a professional organizer of 19 years with a lot of ADHD clients and this was so eye-opening for me! Clutter in motion vs. clutter in stasis is going to be so helpful. I think of clutter in terms of active vs inactive, but for some cases, motion vs stasis is more fine-tuned. Thank you! Just subscribed.
I did this instinctively somehow. Just knew that stuff I have for long-term storage can be put in inaccessible areas, like the corners of rooms, while stuff that I want easier access to, can be on shelves against the wall. Shelving is an ADHD person's best friend.
Now I need a guide to de-cluttering for OCD... No, it's not a given that people with OCD are tidy. If you're obsessed with avoiding germs/preventing their spread, cleaning up becomes a Herculean task.
Omg yes! I didn't realize until just now that this is part of why my laundry is always so messy... I'm going to get something to put on my bars to separate clean/clean from worn/clean!!!
Update:. Bought separators... Hung them on the bars. Haven't put my clean laundry away yet though. Did hang up one outfit and used the separators so I think this may work! 🤔
i’ve found it helps to have a drawer or laundry basket dedicated to those clothes! that way i don’t have to refold them but i also have somewhere to put them :)
@@evaline9809 I plan on doing this as soon as I move (soon I hope). The clutter caused by these clothes has become so much that it prevents me from opening my ACTUAL closet. Which makes it difficult to put anything inside said closet, including freshly washed clothes, so I just store those where I can, creating more clutter ! (＠_＠;)
Clutter makes my brain feel terrible, but the clutter-overwhelm-avoidance cycle is SO REAL. Also, I tend to want to fix the clutter when I have other things I absolutely have to do-like when I’m overwhelmed at work. Edit: Clutter in stasis is SUCH a thing. I moved recently and a lot of stuff still doesn’t have a home. There’s a lot of stuff standing in the way of getting everything in place (e.g., I need to set up the cabinet I purchased because the new apartment has way less clutter). Edit edit: I ALSO hate tech clutter. Husband and I have deep disagreements about this, because he likes to have his tech free and accessible, whereas wire clutter makes my brain feel jumbled and chaotic.
“I spent a lot of my life ashamed of how my ADHD symptoms affected me. I think it’s a lot more helpful to be proud of the steps I’m taking to manage it.” This brought me to tears. I’ve always strived for excellence and perfection and it’s so hard to feel proud of the things that seems to just keep your head above water. Things that NT folks do without thinking. Sure, I have plenty of huge personal and professional achievements, BUT OMG CAN I GET SOME GODDAMN CREDIT FOR MAKING MY BED LIKE 4 OUT OF 7 DAYS LAST WEEK AND ONLY BEING LATE TO WORK ONCE??????? In my brain and to most NT people, these are not things to be proud of, but when the usual is 0/7 and being late most days, I should be proud!
I've always considered myself a "borderling hoarder". Then I married a neat freak... luckily he's very patiently taught me over the years how to organize, how good it feels to have a tidy home, how everything needs it's own place ect... and I tell him every day how lucky I am to have him lol
My best friend has ADHD, and really messy rooms. I’m a minimalist. He’s always saying we need to clean up (pick a room), which I can help him with. But I get frustrated when it doesn’t stay that way for more than a day. He blames his ADHD. This video helped me understand a little what he’s going through. Thank you.
As the wife of an ADHD husband, this video was very eye opening. After 35 years together, we basically came to the same conclusions concerning the different kinds of clutter. I happen to be a super organized person, but I had to give my husband space to live life his way. So we created "no clutter zones." This way, I could have my neat spaces, and he could have his places to spread his belonging out (you know what I mean.) He has been working at home since the virus hit, and this has caused some new issues, but we have found solutions for them. We compromise so that we each get to feel good about the space we live in.
I became a minimalist and live in a studio apt, and not even that “cured” the clutter. I completely agree that some level of clutter is inevitable, and that’s ok. Excited to check out the worksheet.
LadyWatchingBird yeah, becoming a minimalist definitely helped, but it’s still not perfect. My friends are shocked by how little I own, but somehow everything is still a mess.
Same! I still have clutter (mostly tech and cups/snack plates), but it's manageable since I don't own a lot of stuff. I don't want to think about how bad it'd be if I owned the amount of stuff most people who live in "regular" homes own!
@@LadywatchingByrd It's both worse and better. Worse because any amount of clutter is more "noticeable" since the space is so small, but better because it's technically less clutter and more manageable because you don't have so many things.
When it comes to cleaning the clutter or organizing it I've found having a folding table is great. I set up my folding table then pile it relatively full of clutter that I know doesn't belong where it was before. The first bit is awesome because now the couch or kitchen table is clear and I can tidy or clean them the rest of the way, like wiping it down or fixing the wrinkles on the couch cover. Now it looks clean so it's like instant success, but the table is still messy. But that table doesn't feel so bad because it's like this designated space to be messy. Then I go through the table and then it gets clean, and that can be a lot of work but you're working off the success of seeing the other thing clean so it's very motivating. Best $20 I spent in my life was for that table, lol.
I love this idea!!!! Thank you for sharing this! I need that instant success to motivate me. I was thinking today how satisfying it is to clean something that really looks clean. Example, a new refrigerator that looks great after being cleaned. And how unsatisfying it is to clean something that doesn't "look" as clean even after being cleaned. Example, an old window sill that is stained and the paint is chipping.
@Sam KabammNo one asked to create a lot of beloved things in the world. But sometimes, sharing some random ideas can create happiness, or even help someone to live a better life. So as KimberLiana said: So What? No one asked you to answer either. Why did you do it though?
@@Leshantra Sam is either commenting out of the pain of its victimhood. Or its a bot designed to generate comments. Negative comments garner more reaction. Either way, I hope you enjoy your day.
I’m rewatching this video in the middle of the overwhelm phase, and it genuinely makes me emotional to see other people share info like this without judgment. It feels so good to find my people, since I spent most of my life undiagnosed.
I’ve was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a teenager and I’m actually starting to think that ADHD is much more accurate....I can see why that was the diagnosis as a teenager. Lots of health issues and medical trauma compounded with a bad family situation definitely just appears to be someone riddled with anxiety. But anxiety isn’t a constant. Everything I’ve learned about ADHD so far lines up with my behaviors. I’m very hesitant to actually pursue a diagnosis though. In my experience, any kind of mental health issue (like the anxiety disorder diagnosis) is used against women with Endometriosis as just another way to write us off as crazy. It would be really nice to know that what I’m dealing with is pretty normal though, if it is in fact ADHD.
Get diagnosed. If you have adhd and treat the correct issue, you might see how much more controlled your anxiety will be. I've seen miracles happen with correct diagnosis. Your diagnosis is your business, so you shouldn't worry about stigma. But once you know, you can find so many resources. You will have answers and deeper insight into yourself. Good luck!
I'm in similar boat. Diagnosed with social anxiety & depression in my teens. After much research, I think I'm actually ADHD & on the ASD spectrum. Still waiting for an appointment for a formal assessment / diagnosis though - in my area, there's a 2 year wait list for adult assessments.
@@crazylittleangel Go ahead and make that appointment even if it's 2 years out. And meantime, maybe you can find an appointment sooner somewhere that you might have to travel to. Even if you have to wait 2 years, it's worth it. Good luck!
I recently "treated" myself to a professional organiser and it has been life changing. She asked me to talk through my systems, and saying them out loud made me realise how little sense most of them made.
Me: with literal tears and my boys asking what's wrong... Because I don't feel so alone or like such a failure at life! Thanks so much for speaking up and creating such helpful content, you are a true blessing! Ive been trying to figure everything out on my own, which is tricky when staying on task seems impossible... So, finding your channel has been a true gift! Can't wait to check out the worksheet, so grateful to your friends !
I agree! I've been feeling alone and feeling like I would have to explained myself to everyone who walks in my apartment as to what's going on and so on..
I tear up every time I watch one of her videos. I've never felt so understood in my life, and through her videos connected to so many other people like me.
This is so ... right. I need a lot of inspirational clutter. The person that taught me how to clean is a minimalist. I've always felt like a failure for not being able to keep anything clean.
I love the way this video is put together. It's so important not to shame the ADHD brain, because shame will create more avoidance, and will just keep the cycle going.
My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects. I think it's time to practice some to-do necromancy on a few things in the name of decluttering.
'My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects.' Perfect description of my house. I try to tell myself not to start any new projects until I finish the ones I've already started but somehow I end up in the middle of another new project beore I realise it.
I don't finish most of my projects. My kids help me. Today we tore up my fountain. We are going to turn it into a flower bed. Then I create projects that I may never start or finish.
I de-junked my kitchen junk drawer the other day, and now I’m working on my living room!!! I love the 20/10 cycle of cleaning for 20 minutes and taking a 10 minute break.
My family has been in a huge cleaning/decluttering mood recently, and we've been making some good progress. I've found that an addition to the marie kondo method has really helped me. Figuring out if something brings you more anxiety than motivation. I enjoy being surrounded by books, but seeing a ton of unread books stresses me out. So I moved my books to somewhere I don't have to see them and only move them back into view while reading them or once I've finished them and know I love them. I find that I read a lot more now (and get rid of more). Too many options can be overwhelming.
made me internally cry ;-; The struggle be there. If I were tired I would’ve def gad pouring waterfall😭 We got this tho! ✊ I believe in the declutter dream
Ive always wondered why cleaning my room till it's entirely clean and organized never left me feeling happier. I guess it's because a clean big space with white walls makes me hella anxious, making clutter happen even quicker because the clean version of my room makes me feel too out of place. This was so useful!
My mom once said that another reason is because we have so much going on in our brains and disorganization that we prefer a cleaner environment because it’s something we can control. 🤷🏻♀️
TBH, the easiest way to get rid of clutter is to just get rid of it. Papers are by far the worst as they take a bunch of time per page, but they're also often times difficult to replace. For the rest of it, if in doubt, throw it out (recycle or donate). The reality is that if you haven't used it recently, have no idea when or if you will use it, chances are that you're not going to need or use it in the future. In the rare occasion where you do, you can probably just buy another one. That being said, I recently started using my espresso machine again after nearly a decade, so every once in a while allowing something to clutter up an area probably isn't an issue. But, it's far, far easier to just get rid of things than it is to properly deal with them. Then it mostly becomes a battle to keep things out of the house and if you make yourself wait before buying something, it will help a ton.
I was married, Im the ADHD creative one. The best solution I found was I had a room, my art, my exercise machine, my tv, books, etc... the rest of the house stayed clean and neat except the kitchen which I had to work on.
Thank you for this. Between burnout, adhd and depression, I’ve turned into a hoarder I think. The clutter in motion vs in stasis is so enlightening! I’ll definitely connect with your guests’ you tube and website.
I almost cried with relief when I heard "we made a work to help you do it". If I put it to "paper" so to speak, it gets done. I don't know WHY, but that's what my brain dose. So having that will almost 100% help me.
maybe what you should do is reverse it and invite someone over so you are forced to clean. ;) Someone on the outside flipping the switch for you instead of you struggling to flip it yourself. :) :)
I try to declutter rooms every morning as a quick routine as I wait to wake up fully. Not a morning person! It gives me a quick feeling of accomplishment and just takes a few minutes if done daily. Just start with one room, declutter it and master doing a quick pickup/put away first thing every morning, then after a week, move onto adding another room the same way. It does make life easier to put stuff away! No more wasting time looking for needed items. And it is much faster to dust and vacuum.
That's great advice! I just recently found videos done by Dana K. White and the book she wrote: Decluttering At The Speed of Life. I am finally making serious progress with Decluttering my home! 🥰🤗
My laundry hamper was always "away" in a discreet corner of my room... but my actual laundry was not. I moved the hamper in front of my wardrobe where I most often change clothes and where dirty laundry was naturally accumulating anyway, and my room has never felt cleaner
I think people tend to underestimate the effect convenience has on orderliness. Trash cans and hampers in key places make a huge difference. Interesting note about trashcan placement at Disneyland, from my Uncle who worked there. The can placement was determinedly by hot dog vendors and how long it took Walt to finish eating while walking away.
yes! yes! In addition to that, I have a three bag laundry bin, so I sort it as I put it to launder. this is good because it makes "doing laundry" one less step, I don't have to wait to sort anything I just wait until a bag is full. my life is so much easier since doing this 🙌
@@abigaelrarts2257 yes i upcycled a 3 drawer shoe cupboard and it has been an amazing step to simply a task I find very overwhelming. In my old home it was next to the shower and that was ideal.
This channel is by far the most helpful channel I have ever encountered on UA-cam or the whole Internet for that matter on the subject of ADHD! I have learned more from you than actual doctors. I am so appreciative for you sharing your life and your experience and for how real you are. I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, I cannot tell you how long I spend and how many years I wasted feeling ashamed, dumb, useless, Not to mention suicidal. It was because of the information you provided in this channel that I realized oh dear she’s describing me. You are the reason I sought treatment, you are the reason I have no problem taking Adderall. You have changed my life. Your videos are so jampacked and easy for the ADHD 🧠 to absorb. I don’t go anywhere else for my information because I don’t need to. Many thanks and much love from a very old woman. You’ve changed my life. You might say you saved it. Don’t ever give up doing what you’re doing, we need you out here. Some of us are so alone we feel caged in our brains. Thank you for being a part of setting mine free. I can’t help but cry while typing this. 🌹🕊🥰💜✨🙏❤️🧠🌺
I am a maximalist, borderline hoarder, and impulse buyer fixated on collecting material things that pertain to my interests. Organized clutter is huge for me. Every countertop showing is my opportunity to decorate a theme of trinkets. Every wall has different theme of things. It is a museum of sentimental trinkets and art in collage. It makes people’s jaw drop. Every corner is my opportunity to store things essential and or hide unpretty everyday items like deodorant and hair spray. It could be ADHD, but my grandparents done the same thing collecting items to the point of maximalism and hoarding. I need my room to be a museum of my interests but annoyed with how much I have at the same time. If I can’t see an essential item in plain sight, I will forget it and face a consequence (like keys, toothbrush, medicine, water)
This channel is becoming important to my sanity. Alot of times I feel like im having a mental breakdown. Its nice to something that alleviates that pressure.
I... just burst into body shaking sobs. You know how something resonates so hard, you can't respond in any other way than to just cry in relief because someone gets it? yeah. that's me right now. I've been trying to clean my apartment for 6 weeks now. and I only have 2 days to do it now, I've put it off so long, and like, everything is clutter in stasis, and I HATE IT.
ADHD diagnosed for 26 years now and my friends and family have been threatening to call the show hoarders on me... This video is extremely helpful. I’m realizing that I’m not crazy for having tons of my stuff randomly stacked up, but that I just need get some help sorting or getting rid of things. THANK YOU!!!
I was shamed and abused so deeply for "being messy" that I spiralled into very deep depression. I was even told I couldn't have a relationship because I am messy. The depression made it worse. I am now moving towards minimalism. Sometimes I "joke" to judgmental people that a lot of serial killers are extremely tidy and they would love them as their neighbours because they prefer tidiness over nice people that care about you. And that they would be those surprised neighbours on TV saying, "We didn't notice anything, he was so quiet and neat..." Now that I know that I have inattentive ADHD I know my mess is not a character trait. It's a symptomatic habit that formed and that can be undone. It means everything to me to know that.
Honestly.. you are the only creator who is actually helpful and posts solutions..not just the problem. ❤ thank you.. .. typing from a very cluttered room
When this video just came up I was literally JUST on a call with my friend ranting about my clutter in my room WOAH I got quite a bit of likes glad to see I’m not alone 😂😂❤️
I was just almost crying over the huge clutter piles all around my room that I have procrastinated over for months now and then I got notification off this. I got relief. I have lots of stasis clutter around the shelves and on floor, I have got my worktable cleared from it. It is slow progress but progress non the least. I got finally my ADHD-C dg this April and coming around it has been a huge pressure from my shoulders. Now my parents also know and after hige burstout they even understand me, especially my ADHD like mom. I have been your huge fan for 1,5 years now and it feels like coming home to get called your Brains. Thank you, your videos have helped me so much, they are short, easy to follow, interesting, relatable and offer actually working tips. And your voice makes me smile always. I am 21 old woman and only now am I learning most about myself aside being lesbian. Thank you ❤️🙌
The only clean clothes my husband and I have clean right now are socks. He's a slob and doesn't care if he re wears dirty clothes and I have ADHD so I always end up doing a small load of laundry right before work. Uhh so anyway my story is I have piles of dirty laundry
I love this so much. I'm actually crying because I haven't heard someone else explain what this feels like. I hold so much shame about myself and 'the way that I am', I feel so defeated. I am so appreciative of you sharing your experiences with us and providing this kind of help. I feel like this video was made just for me! I think I have felt that about many of your videos. Thank you for doing what you do, I have so much love and respect for you.
Yes about the shame! Finding this channel has really lifted the emotional burden I carried about this.. ("what's wrong with me? why can't I manage to do this simple thing?"). It's also really reassuring to discover it's not just me. (Now I have to take the next step of official diagnosis and, hopefully, some medication support.)
The shame that NTs pile on us is not, and should not be ours to carry. We are different, and they can't handle the truth of the difference. So instead of just accepting what is, they think shaming us is going to allow them to stay in their sense of neurotypical self-righteousness. Sorry, Neurotypical Charlie, but this "Katfish" is calling you out on your out-of-tuna thinking. (Yeah, my sense of humor is weird, too. 😜)
I cannot say that I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD, but this relates to me sooo much. That endless cycle is something I face a lot. The overwhelm and the ignore, I just want my house tidy before the new year!
I had an issue with junkmail cluttering up my dining room table. My ADHD coach said I should try putting a bin next to the door so when I walk into my house, the junk mail goes right into the recycling bin and never makes it to the table. Its been fantastic.
I have lived 53 years with ADHD. It was not diagnosed until I was 40. For a while just having the diagnosis made things easier to deal with. But now, 13 years on, I still really, really, struggle with the clutter problem. Thank you for sharing.
I'm planning on cleaning out my room, especially under my bed (my bed has space under it), over the summer so I have a good place for school work next year, so thank you!!!
I have severe ADHD and so does my husband, my son is going through the diagnosis stage but he's obviously adhd and my daughter is adhd/autistic.....I spent HOURS tidying yesterday...today the place is a disaster again....but our home is full of love, laughs, understanding and we try to help each other.
Thank you for making this channel, i used to feel so ashamed of myself for not being able to get work done like my friends and classmates do, turn in assignment that i actually finished on time and i really appreciate the effort you put into each video you make. My parents dont buy me meds anymore and it's been so hard for me to adjust even tho they stopped buying it over a year ago. I love your channel so much and I love you so much. I hope you continue to grow here on UA-cam and get the recognition you deserve
Thanks, this one is really spot on for me. I get overwhelmed with my clutter and try to ignore it. Then, sometimes I feel bad that I never have people over (besides my son and my brother). When my boyfriend has his adult daughters over (once in a while), I feel like I need to go through everything any really clean the apartment. I end up doing the best I can. Sometimes, I go through a pile or 2 of paper and other stuff. By that time, most of it ends up being trash. Thanks for normalizing it for us Brains.
Oh my. I'm now bawling. You definitely have a new biggest fan, and just seeing someone else going through the struggle that is currently causing rifts in my family is so reassuring. I'm really trying!
Your channel has been so helpful for me! I don't have a diagnosis for ADHD (quite a long and expensive process) but I can relate so much to your content and the tips you provide have been helping a lot
Oh god, I needed this video, thank you! I constantly get the clutter-overwhelm-issue, and the main thing that helped me was finding proper spaces for the things that didn't have one. I actually started doing that while watching Marie Kondo :D Now I have two zones in my room that are easy to tidy up and make them presentable, and I try to at least have one that is looking neat and makes me want to spend time in that space. As for what I need for work? A pillow fort. I kid you not, I am working on a bed with 15 pillows and 3 blankets and snuggling into a pillow nest allows me to to hyperfocus and work for hours on end. This was definitely one of the "what I did not expect I would need" cases, because the other zone of the room is a whole working area with a 10 foot desk and proper chair 😂
This is SO HELPFUL. My girlfriend is so fond of minimalism and a "control freak", I love how clean her house is, even with a cat , but I have ADHD. After moving together we are in an endless conversation of how important it is to put my stuff where it belongs (like I actually know where it belong, when did I even misplaced it and what the heck did I misplaced). It's not even arguments, it's just conversations, because she is trying her best to be patient to me and she is wonderful. But still, MY STUFF IS EVERYWHERE, I'm mentally stressed of my clutters and facing my gf, so I'm trying to avoid both. And obviously both didn't help :P anyway I need to deal with the pile on my desk... now
She probably found the joy in it, you can too! I recommend watching videos to get inspired, the fun part doesn't happen until later when you feel like you got the hang of it. I thought I could never do it but there's tons of videos online and I got some help for free.
This video just brought me to tears! I'm 51 years old and I was always told and treated like I was lazy or just a messy person. Why can't I keep my house clean? How do I live like that? And I would clean. For a while. This video exactly explained me! I'm not the only one. I just realized last week that I have ADHD. I am now looking for the right professional help. My whole life.....I never knew or understood why I was me. I saw your Ted talk and it clicked. Thank you!
Don’t have ADHD…that I know of, but I do have crippling anxiety which honestly has a lot of the same triggers and feelings that you explained in your vid. This helps so much, especially when I was able to have my husband watch it! He has OCD/ADD, I have anxiety, we’re quite the pair. But we love each other endlessly and cleaning up our house is really important to both of us. Being able to share this video with him empowered us both, I feel so much less guilty now that we’ve both watched it, gone through the list attached, and started our clean up. I still look around and feel shame but it is definitely getting better and it is definitely easier to keep working together without the guilt or frustration now that we have a clear plan to work with and the knowledge of how we got here. I am definitely getting excited to host around the holidays and I can say that 100% of the help has come from your video! Thank you so very much!
Yes i love the topic of this video! I've found in my experience that alot of the times if i don't do things perfectly that i get discouraged and give up. Instead of recognizing the progress that I've made and being proud of that, i instead focus on how i didn't live up to my own expectations of perfectionism. We ADHD people have a really hard time with being confident in our own ability to follow through with our goals and instead beat ourselfs up for not being perfect on the first try.
My old apartment was a mess, then I moved into a new one, but didn't quite have the space for all my stuff, so I left it in boxes "to unpack later".... One year later, my apartment is still a obstacle course.
It’s probably a bit late for this, but if you haven’t used something in a year, chances are VERY good that you don’t need it anymore. I’d consider going through the box with a friend and just keep reminding yourself “I haven’t used this in a whole year, do I really need it?” while you add to a donate/toss pile.
I love this video especially the part about the clutter cycle. For years I’ve been ashamed about how messy my apartment is. I will definitely be taking these tips into account ❤️
I end up with tears in my eyes because of how deep this topic is an issue for me (1 adult and my two boys maybe all with ADD living in a tiny space! 🤯). The emotion in your eyes spoke to me. Thank you so much for doing this!
You have helped me realize my ADHD was this bad I was diagnosed at 12 and was prescribed medication but my family is extremely religious and don’t believe medicine works and that it just destroys your liver etc. So I never took ADHD medication and I believe staying inside has made my ADHD worse. So I showed my parents these videos in hope to educate them more on what ADHD is and they will allow me to take medicine to help now.
I was recently diagnosed and have found this channel to be so helpful! I'm 32 and have suspected I've been this way my entire life. This channel helps me to feel normal and not alone. Thank you.
Omg it's so nice to hear that some clutter can't be avoided from someone else! I'm so tired of arguing that point to others, it was starting to feel weak But not anymore!! Really love how you address these every-day kinda troubles adhd brings about, it helps a lot more than the big exestential but also really non-specific "guides" any time
Thank you! This is such a great topic! Personally, stressing about the clutter in my house and going throught that wheel over and over has affected my quality of life. I'm going to start working with that worksheet and see what progress I can make 🤗 This video, as well as the "wall of awful" have been some of my fvorites!
This has been one of my biggest issues since the start of quarantine in March. I recently realized it feels even worse becoming don’t really have any decor around my apartment aside from just the clutter from trying to keep sane between shifts at the nursing home.
I’m almost 40 and I am close to a diagnosis of ADHD and all of this is so helpful!! Having 3 kids, a husband and a big ole’ dog make it almost impossible to get ahead of the mess!! Bless you for putting out all of this information!! Love u
I’ve always called the clutter in stasis “residential junk” as in the doom piles of random stuff that have been there getting avoiding so long they just live there now. It’s really nice to see someone else talking about it.
Hey Jessica! I just wanted to stop by and let you know how much you've enriched my life since my diagnosis. I've commented before, but I want you to know that even simple little videos like this about clutter often bring me nearly to tears. Seeing such simple ideas that seem so daunting to me explained in such a patient and understanding way help me feel understood and more at ease with myself. I've followed you for a couple of years now, and I can't thank you enough. You're a truly beautiful soul and one heck of a brain.
I moved last year and promised myself I'd design it to be easier to sort clutter and my multiple forms of work while still managing all that in a studio flat. I took one wall and built a full wall unit with shelves, a worktop counter as a desktop (2.5m) and doors/drawers in most of them to help keep the visual clutter down (even when it's tidy, sometimes it still feels like clutter so closing it off helps me focus). Over the last 5 years, I've been ruthless with my stuff, took a while but I'm fairly minimalist whenever I can be. I wasn't diagnosed til the year after but I think deep down, I was screaming at myself to manage this somehow because of how much it was weighing me down.
I'm recently coming to grips with the effect ADHD has had on the way I've been living my life. I've started realising the value of your videos and taking them to heart. Thanks!
I know how you feel, the best thing about Jessica's videos is they help you realise that you're not broken just because you can't seem to do something the same way that others can. You just need to use tools that work for you, be it timers, checklists, reminders or other ways of breaking things down into small steps. And using those tools isn't failing or cheating, it's making reasonable adjustments which will help you be successful.
Thank you so much for making this video ❤ I am still awaiting a formal psychiatric evaluation but am looking for self-help techniques for my ADHD symptoms. What the wonderful sisters said about Clutter in motion resonated so much and has helped me reevaluate some real anxiety triggers
Does anyone else keep finding more ways to accommodate clutter-in-stasis in order to avoid making decisions about what to keep and what to throw out? I now have shelves that I can't reach because they are behind other shelves.
I had this problem a few months ago... boxes piled over each other so I couldn't reach the lowest ones. I think watching the videos about The wall of awful might help you :)
@@maddieek6865 I do this too...always my "inbox" of actual paper etc. gets bigger and bigger until I don't remember anything that's in there, nor can I find stuff....... but at least if it's in a box, it's not a huge stack of things distracting me, it's one box and I can live with that. (sort of!)
This is a huge help! I am in the middle of moving from one room to the next and had to come to terms with a lot of clutter in stasis in my room. Also I hope you are ok! Seemed the energy was different from the usual so hope u are taking time for yourself and doing well =)
Just watched your other video explaining exactly what was up. Thank you so much for providing context, even more proud that this new video is here now =)
@@amytarvin2776 was the how to be ok! Definitely provided perspective on how you were doing and made me appriciate more that your videos were still going up
I have moved house twice in 6 years and each time I got rid of so much stuff that cluttered my life. Even if it's just a room move take the chance to do some cleaning, decluttering or kon Mari and rethink what you use, need and love! You won't miss anything you don't use, I swear.
Whoa, "Some tools might be unavailable due to heavy traffic in this file." It may be helpful to post a PDF version. Also, everyone saying they were just thinking about this just goes to show how common and nagging this challenge is.
I just came across your channel not too long ago and I have to say that you make me feel so much better about my ADHD and it's overwhelming how my place can get so cluttered and I also have like PTSD from how messy my house was and the environment that I lived in as a child so having you be there to confidently tell me that it is okay and that it is normal makes me feel so reassured thank you
OMG! I have tears of joy because of how much this video has helped me. I am a mom that is cleaning clutter 24/7. My daughter has adhd and, thanks to you, I now have a way to learn how to work with it and show my 7yo how to live with it. Your videos are a blessing! I've even send a couple to her teacher so he can understand her better and her grades have improved because we now understand how to help her study. THANK YOU! You are a prayer answered.
Thanks It’s railway life, I’ll get to spend a (comparably) reasonable amount of time at home from September for the following 4 months Also working with the dr to find prescriptions that help too
Hi all! Carmen here, so glad to see that people are finding this helpful!
I saw some people ask about making it so they could fill it out online, and others concerned about creating paper clutter (I hear you on that one!!!).
If you want to edit an electronic copy of the worksheet, you can copy it into your own google drive and then it will be your own private copy. You go to file and select "make a copy."
If you don't have a google account, then "file, download" should let you open it in a standard word processing program, although it might look a little unsightly (I haven't tested that).
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise.
Thanks for the help, this was much needed at the moment! Love your accent too eh
Fellow Canadians! Love it. Thank you. :D
@@rgnewlife6622 Hi Rene, please do not post your personal information out on the internet such as your email. You never know who may see it (or misuse it for that matter). If you'd like to view the worksheet, there is a link to it in the description. I hope this helps you out, have a lovely day :)
THANK you, thank you thank you. I'm drowning over here and I feel like i'm pulling other people under with me
When she talks about the clutter/overwhelm/avoidance cycle, sometimes I do a short-term fix to break that: physically cover the area that's stressing me out, like with a blanket or something, it reduces the "overwhelm" and helps me get started.
Isn't that just the "avoidance" part of the cycle
@@FreyrDev if you cover it and walk away, that's avoidance. If you cover it so you can get started somewhere else, that's a tool.
Brilliant! This comment just made me realize why I can only clean my half of the bedroom when my BF has just cleaned his... even though it's not my mess, it's still contributing to overwhelm. Huh!
I will sometimes do a similar thing: I'll put part of the mess in the closet temporarily so I can deal with another part.
edit: to clarify, I put it in my laundry basket (which is typically empty) which makes it mentally clutter in motion rather than just stasis in the closet.
Nice advice, remove the overwhelm inorder to focus on some decluttering.
The worst part about clutter is when you start rebuying stuff you misplaced in your own home and cant find it!
Me and craft supplies. Please don't ask how many glue guns I have. I honestly don't know 😬
🤦🏾♀️
my spices! If I use it a lot I forget to put it back, lose it, buy a new one, and then find the old one behind a box on the counter =(
Yes! So true!
@@enesthi Lol! I can relate! We are currently remodeling our kitchen and had to pack up the cupboards... I've found several of one spice, several times!!!
I felt that spinning wheel so hard.
It was missing a few rungs: shame and despair.
Torment
That spinning wheel is my whole life *laughs awkwardly*
Felt Hard! It made me cry. Validating.
Yup..I feel like a spinning wheel
"Some level of clutter is inevitable" is so reassuring to hear, I'm actually crying.
I just looked around at my morning coffee spot and noticed how messy it is again, but I congratulated myself because it was a lot messier last week before I had cleaned it.
I always think of houses on tv or in magazines or even people’s houses when they’re hosting parties and stuff and how everything is clean and put away, but daily life isn’t like that. You have to actually use things and make a mess to live. I need to focus more on making my spaces functional rather than picture perfect…
Grow up
I feel so accepted and understood when listening to you speak. I am ashamed of my mess and paralyzed with fear of the condemnation when reaching out to ask for help. Thanks for encouraging this 61 year old.
❤❤❤❤
Every surface turns into a nightmare in moments! 😆 I end up using the floor as the table, the tables as drawers, and idkwtf is going on inside those drawers😭❤️😆
When you have to pull out a drawer to have a place to rest a pan or plate in the kitchen!
i'm using moving boxes and shelves as desks and tables and the floor as a couch rip
@@frogandtoady lol 😄 years ago I moved into an apartment and used a box full of clothes as a chair for so long that the box broke. I proceeded to use the broken box and clothes pile as a "recliner" on the floor for longer than I'd like to admit 😁
@@wadepatton2433 Soup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! three months too late pretty good for me :D. Think about it. vegetables lentils stock water Slow cooker (litters of convenience). Goes in coffee cups. Rinses, fridges, freezes. Pro tip peel with a knife, life's short and compost isn't waist. Stag tip Soup in a batch. Meat daily assuming you can be arsed. Cured meats are just as good in a pinch. Entertaining Korean bbq Literally a hot plate (camp stove) at the table. Massive savings on double platting.
Oh man xD I have an antique armoire thing with doors that open up and I keep hanging homeless stuff on it!! The drawers inside are so full/in chaos that I couldn't close the cabinets if I wanted too.....it was cool when it was just " ah I'll wear this tomorrow.." but it has become the place for things that aren't really dirty or need a bit of mending as well...drawers become shelves, and chairs become laundry baskets, The fireplace becomes a jewelry box and my office is where projects go to die 🤣
Me, watching this in my messy room that I’ve been meaning to clean for days: 👁👄👁
For me it’s months
Big mood
I think it might have been close to a year for me
I intended to yesterday and now I got folded clothes all over my floor😂
*years
(I bought an ikea closet back in March and I have yet to build it. Did I mention it was March 2019)
When they talked about the clutter being there so long you start to move around it😂😭
Ah yes, clutter-as-furniture.
Luxurio Music like a wild obstacle course every day!
I saw three different piles in my head at that moment. lol
I used to drive my Mum crazy because I wouldn’t notice things that needed tidying. Like, it’s been there so long it’s just part of the room now. I literally don’t see it.
I'm over here thinking some piles have been there so long you go around them in your sleep!
This makes me cry because I connect with it on so many levels! "Being the only woman who can't keep the house clean" that's me, and after 38 years I am learning I'm not the only one, and why every book I red, Every method I tried never stuck.
Same here. (Except 40 years in)
It's looking like my son may have ADHD, and the more and more I learn about it, the more I think I do too.
40 years of shame. The relief in realizing maybe there's a reason I struggle with these things.
Me also...you're not the only woman who can't keep a clean house.
Cleanliness is not gender-based.
If we have to climb over the clutter in stasis would that become clutter in motion ?
It’s not even a joke really 😭
@@curiousorange8232🤣🤣😭😭❤️❤️
Yes. It's nice to not feel alone in this state of being so messy. I'm in three groups with people who have kids the same age as mine, toddler and baby (which is a lot for anyone) but I have one of the least tidy houses, possibly the least tidy. Even in my dbt group where everyone else also has mental health struggles in addition to kids.
0:22 - 0:47 Yes! Exactly how I explained it to my boyfriend! It’s hard to clean or do any task while having adhd(from mom), some ocd(from dad), dissociation due to trauma, and also mal-adaptive daydreaming. People think you’re just lazy and if you try to explain, they think you’re making excuses.
Shelby, I hope your timeline works out better for you than mine. Looking back, I probably should have been diagnosed with ADHD 50+ years ago.
@@carlbromley5257 Being unable to get rid of clutter is a sign of not only ADD and OCD but also mainly Hoarding Disorder.
and with autism it's terrible when I was raised in the south AND we were taught girls should be clean n tidy if we can't keep a house up how can we ever keep a man ? basically our value as a woman is based on how well we can clean and cook and still go to work full time (working overtime) with a part time job plus full time college plus church on sunday with the family. smfh
@@joanschilleci7564 I tell people that “I have OCD, but not the ‘functional’ type”
My therapist didn't get this years ago when I told her. She said oh, you're Ocd is really bad right now? So you've been cleaning the house like crazy? No, it's a dang mess! 😂 @@ittyfittykelly
As women, we are especially hard on ourselves for not having the perfect, tidy home. I love this idea of some level of clutter being okay.
Societal expectations have a lot to answer for!
I don't think men are immune to that. I'm always embarrassed by that.
@@MrKeychange Yeah as a man I've always felt plenty of shame about this from parents, roommates, etc. It's been a problem as long as I can remember and very seldom can I seem to self-motivate long enough to clean everything to everyone else's standard. I'm supposed to clean my basement today but I'm terrified to take dirty dishes upstairs for fear of judgment from roommates.
@taughtmetobloom, I agree, a little bit of stuff lying around looks like a human being lives in this space. I wouldn't want to live in a furniture store exhibit.
@@MrKeychange my house gets cluttered I get criticism from family and friends - my husband doesn't because apparently it's not his "job". I have complained when my in-laws were around and my father-in-law told me that "It's your responsibility to keep the house in order, it's got nothing to with him. You just need to work harder."
I've got adhd and i actually figured this out a few years ago. Whenever I obtain a new item, I immediately make a home for it so i know if I'm not using it goes there and if I cant find a home for it, I make one by buying some furniture that helps or coming up with a DIY solution. I have dozens of hooks, baskets and extra shelves around my house because of this and it works pretty well. It also helps me not lose things because they are always in the same place.
And for sheets of paper, I have a folder that i just shove all my sheets into immediately I get them so that I can properly sort them out later; although we all know that most of the time that never happens, I'm comfortable knowing that I cant lose the sheets because they are all in one place and usually when the folder gets full I then will spend time filing everything and deciding what's still useful and not.
I also always leave an empty space by my door and by my desk as a visual reminder of whether I'm putting stuff away or not and I just have a rule in my head that nothing should be there unless it will move within the next week.
Also for my solution to not leaving plates, cutlery and cups everywhere is to only have 1 of everything. If you only have one plate, one cup, one set of cutlery and a few pots and pans then if they're dirty and you want to use them then you have to wash them. Also, it means you can never have loads of unwashed dishes because you don't have many. If you live with other people just make it 1 set of dishes per person and if you plan to have people over you can have extra dishes but keep them in a difficult to reach place so that its harder to get those than it is to wash the dishes.
Not being a messy person is kinda my only ADHD "win" so I'm quite proud it; I'm failing at pretty much everything else but at least I can say I'm relatively clean and tidy
I love systems!
Sounds like you are disciplined about this. Impressive!
I second only using one set of dishes so nothing stays dirty. I hate having bugs in my space and washing and reusing that one set prevents a home for them. And at my house everyone's dishes are color coded and we just use our own set. Definitely great advice considering I hate doing dishes and there's disposable when you really can't be bothered to wash a dish or forget.
@@Myrrdin12 that sounds like it would work great. One question though. What do you do when people come over?
@@mintbrownieangelfish-6114 Oh we don't usually have company, but there are some plain dishes somewhere. We just only use our own set most of the time. There is a dishwasher too so if we needed to we could throw everything in and run it. And disposable dishes can also be used so we don't want to wash much.
It's great that you have created a system that works for you. Thanks for sharing your method.
I'm autistic, but having mess defined as "motion" or "stasis" has been a lightbulb moment.
As another woman who gets annoyed with herself for being the only one who can't keep her house clean, I completely relate. I'm so relieved to know that I'm actually not the only one. ♥
Same
As a feng shui consultant, clutter is drummed into our training as being “bad feng shui”’and “negative energy”. I knew it had nothing to do with that and more about how our stories of stuff were impacting how we treated it and ourselves. I always say that piles aren’t the problem, it’s the stagnation of the piles. I love this video for the perspective shift, especially about the comfort to tech item ratio balance!
I'm a professional organizer of 19 years with a lot of ADHD clients and this was so eye-opening for me! Clutter in motion vs. clutter in stasis is going to be so helpful. I think of clutter in terms of active vs inactive, but for some cases, motion vs stasis is more fine-tuned. Thank you! Just subscribed.
Could you organise me please im deadly serious my mum says i dont have a bedroom i have a werehouse 😅😢
Agreed! Never thought of in motion vs. Stasis. Very useful lens!
Hey, Kacy! May I pick PM you to learn more about your business?
I did this instinctively somehow. Just knew that stuff I have for long-term storage can be put in inaccessible areas, like the corners of rooms, while stuff that I want easier access to, can be on shelves against the wall. Shelving is an ADHD person's best friend.
Now I need a guide to de-cluttering for OCD...
No, it's not a given that people with OCD are tidy. If you're obsessed with avoiding germs/preventing their spread, cleaning up becomes a Herculean task.
Well this definitely explains the chair in my room of "clothes which have been worn but aren't dirty enough to wash yet" 😅👌
Omg yes! I didn't realize until just now that this is part of why my laundry is always so messy... I'm going to get something to put on my bars to separate clean/clean from worn/clean!!!
Update:. Bought separators... Hung them on the bars. Haven't put my clean laundry away yet though. Did hang up one outfit and used the separators so I think this may work! 🤔
I have this same chair in my kitchen 😅
i’ve found it helps to have a drawer or laundry basket dedicated to those clothes! that way i don’t have to refold them but i also have somewhere to put them :)
@@evaline9809 I plan on doing this as soon as I move (soon I hope).
The clutter caused by these clothes has become so much that it prevents me from opening my ACTUAL closet.
Which makes it difficult to put anything inside said closet, including freshly washed clothes, so I just store those where I can, creating more clutter ! (＠_＠;)
This helps me understand my wife's needs for her adhd and I'm a proud supportive husband that loves this journey we are on with our kids.
Clutter makes my brain feel terrible, but the clutter-overwhelm-avoidance cycle is SO REAL. Also, I tend to want to fix the clutter when I have other things I absolutely have to do-like when I’m overwhelmed at work.
Edit: Clutter in stasis is SUCH a thing. I moved recently and a lot of stuff still doesn’t have a home. There’s a lot of stuff standing in the way of getting everything in place (e.g., I need to set up the cabinet I purchased because the new apartment has way less clutter).
Edit edit: I ALSO hate tech clutter. Husband and I have deep disagreements about this, because he likes to have his tech free and accessible, whereas wire clutter makes my brain feel jumbled and chaotic.
Would love to see how neuro-atypical couples, with different brain needs, navigate cohabitation.
Thanos: I am Inevitable.
ADHD: Hold my clutter.
you deserve an award for that comment.
Ok, that made me giggle. Thanks for a smile:)
“I spent a lot of my life ashamed of how my ADHD symptoms affected me. I think it’s a lot more helpful to be proud of the steps I’m taking to manage it.” This brought me to tears.
I’ve always strived for excellence and perfection and it’s so hard to feel proud of the things that seems to just keep your head above water. Things that NT folks do without thinking. Sure, I have plenty of huge personal and professional achievements, BUT OMG CAN I GET SOME GODDAMN CREDIT FOR MAKING MY BED LIKE 4 OUT OF 7 DAYS LAST WEEK AND ONLY BEING LATE TO WORK ONCE??????? In my brain and to most NT people, these are not things to be proud of, but when the usual is 0/7 and being late most days, I should be proud!
YES!!!
You are right!
💕💕👏 Yes!
OMG, I soooooo relate to this! Thank you.
👏🏼 Credit where credit is due :) I struggle with this so much especially since both me and my fiancé have ADHD.
I've always considered myself a "borderling hoarder". Then I married a neat freak... luckily he's very patiently taught me over the years how to organize, how good it feels to have a tidy home, how everything needs it's own place ect... and I tell him every day how lucky I am to have him lol
My best friend has ADHD, and really messy rooms. I’m a minimalist. He’s always saying we need to clean up (pick a room), which I can help him with. But I get frustrated when it doesn’t stay that way for more than a day. He blames his ADHD.
This video helped me understand a little what he’s going through. Thank you.
As the wife of an ADHD husband, this video was very eye opening. After 35 years together, we basically came to the same conclusions concerning the different kinds of clutter. I happen to be a super organized person, but I had to give my husband space to live life his way. So we created "no clutter zones." This way, I could have my neat spaces, and he could have his places to spread his belonging out (you know what I mean.) He has been working at home since the virus hit, and this has caused some new issues, but we have found solutions for them. We compromise so that we each get to feel good about the space we live in.
I became a minimalist and live in a studio apt, and not even that “cured” the clutter. I completely agree that some level of clutter is inevitable, and that’s ok. Excited to check out the worksheet.
I thought moving into a smaller place would help, and I think its actually worse.
LadyWatchingBird yeah, becoming a minimalist definitely helped, but it’s still not perfect. My friends are shocked by how little I own, but somehow everything is still a mess.
Same! I still have clutter (mostly tech and cups/snack plates), but it's manageable since I don't own a lot of stuff. I don't want to think about how bad it'd be if I owned the amount of stuff most people who live in "regular" homes own!
@@LadywatchingByrd It's both worse and better. Worse because any amount of clutter is more "noticeable" since the space is so small, but better because it's technically less clutter and more manageable because you don't have so many things.
Me: *sees empy space on desk*
Nobody:
Me: *stacks dishes on spot*
I t ' s f r e e r e a l e s t a t e
Yup! Lol
Ikr
Lo-tt-a you got me XD
😹😹😹😹😹😹Yup!
When it comes to cleaning the clutter or organizing it I've found having a folding table is great. I set up my folding table then pile it relatively full of clutter that I know doesn't belong where it was before. The first bit is awesome because now the couch or kitchen table is clear and I can tidy or clean them the rest of the way, like wiping it down or fixing the wrinkles on the couch cover. Now it looks clean so it's like instant success, but the table is still messy. But that table doesn't feel so bad because it's like this designated space to be messy. Then I go through the table and then it gets clean, and that can be a lot of work but you're working off the success of seeing the other thing clean so it's very motivating. Best $20 I spent in my life was for that table, lol.
rhetorical: where do you have room for a folding table tho?
I love this idea!!!! Thank you for sharing this! I need that instant success to motivate me. I was thinking today how satisfying it is to clean something that really looks clean. Example, a new refrigerator that looks great after being cleaned. And how unsatisfying it is to clean something that doesn't "look" as clean even after being cleaned. Example, an old window sill that is stained and the paint is chipping.
@Sam Kabamm so what?
@Sam KabammNo one asked to create a lot of beloved things in the world. But sometimes, sharing some random ideas can create happiness, or even help someone to live a better life. So as KimberLiana said: So What? No one asked you to answer either. Why did you do it though?
@@Leshantra Sam is either commenting out of the pain of its victimhood.
Or its a bot designed to generate comments. Negative comments garner more reaction.
Either way, I hope you enjoy your day.
I’m rewatching this video in the middle of the overwhelm phase, and it genuinely makes me emotional to see other people share info like this without judgment. It feels so good to find my people, since I spent most of my life undiagnosed.
I’ve was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a teenager and I’m actually starting to think that ADHD is much more accurate....I can see why that was the diagnosis as a teenager. Lots of health issues and medical trauma compounded with a bad family situation definitely just appears to be someone riddled with anxiety. But anxiety isn’t a constant. Everything I’ve learned about ADHD so far lines up with my behaviors.
I’m very hesitant to actually pursue a diagnosis though. In my experience, any kind of mental health issue (like the anxiety disorder diagnosis) is used against women with Endometriosis as just another way to write us off as crazy. It would be really nice to know that what I’m dealing with is pretty normal though, if it is in fact ADHD.
If you need help, get it. Im sure its confidential. Its better to know.
Get diagnosed. If you have adhd and treat the correct issue, you might see how much more controlled your anxiety will be. I've seen miracles happen with correct diagnosis. Your diagnosis is your business, so you shouldn't worry about stigma. But once you know, you can find so many resources. You will have answers and deeper insight into yourself. Good luck!
I'm in similar boat. Diagnosed with social anxiety & depression in my teens. After much research, I think I'm actually ADHD & on the ASD spectrum. Still waiting for an appointment for a formal assessment / diagnosis though - in my area, there's a 2 year wait list for adult assessments.
@@crazylittleangel Go ahead and make that appointment even if it's 2 years out. And meantime, maybe you can find an appointment sooner somewhere that you might have to travel to. Even if you have to wait 2 years, it's worth it. Good luck!
Same here!
I recently "treated" myself to a professional organiser and it has been life changing. She asked me to talk through my systems, and saying them out loud made me realise how little sense most of them made.
That clutter/overwhelm/avoid wheel doesn't spin fast enough :D
Me: with literal tears and my boys asking what's wrong... Because I don't feel so alone or like such a failure at life! Thanks so much for speaking up and creating such helpful content, you are a true blessing!
Ive been trying to figure everything out on my own, which is tricky when staying on task seems impossible...
So, finding your channel has been a true gift! Can't wait to check out the worksheet, so grateful to your friends !
I agree! I've been feeling alone and feeling like I would have to explained myself to everyone who walks in my apartment as to what's going on and so on..
I tear up every time I watch one of her videos. I've never felt so understood in my life, and through her videos connected to so many other people like me.
😭
I feel this so much, as i watch this video while holding tears back
This is so ... right. I need a lot of inspirational clutter. The person that taught me how to clean is a minimalist. I've always felt like a failure for not being able to keep anything clean.
I love the way this video is put together. It's so important not to shame the ADHD brain, because shame will create more avoidance, and will just keep the cycle going.
As a adhd girl diagnosed 4 months ago thank you for the video
My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects. I think it's time to practice some to-do necromancy on a few things in the name of decluttering.
I am saving this to use myself!
'My house is a battlefield littered with the corpses of unfinished projects.' Perfect description of my house. I try to tell myself not to start any new projects until I finish the ones I've already started but somehow I end up in the middle of another new project beore I realise it.
I don't finish most of my projects. My kids help me. Today we tore up my fountain. We are going to turn it into a flower bed. Then I create projects that I may never start or finish.
I de-junked my kitchen junk drawer the other day, and now I’m working on my living room!!! I love the 20/10 cycle of cleaning for 20 minutes and taking a 10 minute break.
My family has been in a huge cleaning/decluttering mood recently, and we've been making some good progress. I've found that an addition to the marie kondo method has really helped me. Figuring out if something brings you more anxiety than motivation. I enjoy being surrounded by books, but seeing a ton of unread books stresses me out. So I moved my books to somewhere I don't have to see them and only move them back into view while reading them or once I've finished them and know I love them. I find that I read a lot more now (and get rid of more). Too many options can be overwhelming.
This is a good tip! "Does this sparkle joy" is very hard to define. But anxiety can maybe be easier to recognize. I'll have to try this.
Marie kondo way creates so much clutter
I watched this years ago. I didn't realize how much it has helped until rewatching. Thank you.
4:55 minutes of useful de-cluttering video followed by 27 seconds of making me cry. Thank you!
made me internally cry ;-; The struggle be there. If I were tired I would’ve def gad pouring waterfall😭 We got this tho! ✊ I believe in the declutter dream
Ive always wondered why cleaning my room till it's entirely clean and organized never left me feeling happier. I guess it's because a clean big space with white walls makes me hella anxious, making clutter happen even quicker because the clean version of my room makes me feel too out of place. This was so useful!
My mom once said that another reason is because we have so much going on in our brains and disorganization that we prefer a cleaner environment because it’s something we can control. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm actually dealing with this now! I'm trying to clean my house before I have to focus on classes. The burdens of being a teacher. 🤗
TBH, the easiest way to get rid of clutter is to just get rid of it. Papers are by far the worst as they take a bunch of time per page, but they're also often times difficult to replace. For the rest of it, if in doubt, throw it out (recycle or donate). The reality is that if you haven't used it recently, have no idea when or if you will use it, chances are that you're not going to need or use it in the future. In the rare occasion where you do, you can probably just buy another one.
That being said, I recently started using my espresso machine again after nearly a decade, so every once in a while allowing something to clutter up an area probably isn't an issue. But, it's far, far easier to just get rid of things than it is to properly deal with them.
Then it mostly becomes a battle to keep things out of the house and if you make yourself wait before buying something, it will help a ton.
Madeline Hundley Hi, fellow ADHD teacher! 😊
I'm a super neat minimalist married to a hyper creative ADHD husband. Finding a happy medium is...an adventure.
I was married, Im the ADHD creative one. The best solution I found was I had a room, my art, my exercise machine, my tv, books, etc... the rest of the house stayed clean and neat except the kitchen which I had to work on.
Thank you for this. Between burnout, adhd and depression, I’ve turned into a hoarder I think. The clutter in motion vs in stasis is so enlightening! I’ll definitely connect with your guests’ you tube and website.
I almost cried with relief when I heard "we made a work to help you do it". If I put it to "paper" so to speak, it gets done. I don't know WHY, but that's what my brain dose. So having that will almost 100% help me.
This is so perfect. I'm trying to clean so someone can come over
I should also do that
@@prettygay yes, we both should
Said every ADHD person ever!
maybe what you should do is reverse it and invite someone over so you are forced to clean. ;) Someone on the outside flipping the switch for you instead of you struggling to flip it yourself. :) :)
@@jordanmccullough7903 yeah, the thing is they are coming next week...and I have a pretty big room with a lot of stuff
I try to declutter rooms every morning as a quick routine as I wait to wake up fully. Not a morning person!
It gives me a quick feeling of accomplishment and just takes a few minutes if done daily.
Just start with one room, declutter it and master doing a quick pickup/put away first thing every morning, then after a week, move onto adding another room the same way.
It does make life easier to put stuff away! No more wasting time looking for needed items. And it is much faster to dust and vacuum.
That's great advice! I just recently found videos done by Dana K. White and the book she wrote: Decluttering At The Speed of Life. I am finally making serious progress with Decluttering my home! 🥰🤗
Are you actually adhd? Because mansplaining by the neurotypical is not a nice thing to do.
My laundry hamper was always "away" in a discreet corner of my room... but my actual laundry was not. I moved the hamper in front of my wardrobe where I most often change clothes and where dirty laundry was naturally accumulating anyway, and my room has never felt cleaner
I think people tend to underestimate the effect convenience has on orderliness. Trash cans and hampers in key places make a huge difference.
Interesting note about trashcan placement at Disneyland, from my Uncle who worked there. The can placement was determinedly by hot dog vendors and how long it took Walt to finish eating while walking away.
yes! yes! In addition to that, I have a three bag laundry bin, so I sort it as I put it to launder. this is good because it makes "doing laundry" one less step, I don't have to wait to sort anything I just wait until a bag is full. my life is so much easier since doing this 🙌
@@abigaelrarts2257 yes i upcycled a 3 drawer shoe cupboard and it has been an amazing step to simply a task I find very overwhelming. In my old home it was next to the shower and that was ideal.
This channel is by far the most helpful channel I have ever encountered on UA-cam or the whole Internet for that matter on the subject of ADHD! I have learned more from you than actual doctors. I am so appreciative for you sharing your life and your experience and for how real you are. I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, I cannot tell you how long I spend and how many years I wasted feeling ashamed, dumb, useless, Not to mention suicidal. It was because of the information you provided in this channel that I realized oh dear she’s describing me. You are the reason I sought treatment, you are the reason I have no problem taking Adderall. You have changed my life. Your videos are so jampacked and easy for the ADHD 🧠 to absorb. I don’t go anywhere else for my information because I don’t need to. Many thanks and much love from a very old woman. You’ve changed my life. You might say you saved it. Don’t ever give up doing what you’re doing, we need you out here. Some of us are so alone we feel caged in our brains. Thank you for being a part of setting mine free. I can’t help but cry while typing this. 🌹🕊🥰💜✨🙏❤️🧠🌺
❤
Dr Sharon saline also has loads of helpful tips
💛💛💛
I am a maximalist, borderline hoarder, and impulse buyer fixated on collecting material things that pertain to my interests.
Organized clutter is huge for me. Every countertop showing is my opportunity to decorate a theme of trinkets. Every wall has different theme of things. It is a museum of sentimental trinkets and art in collage. It makes people’s jaw drop.
Every corner is my opportunity to store things essential and or hide unpretty everyday items like deodorant and hair spray.
It could be ADHD, but my grandparents done the same thing collecting items to the point of maximalism and hoarding. I need my room to be a museum of my interests but annoyed with how much I have at the same time. If I can’t see an essential item in plain sight, I will forget it and face a consequence (like keys, toothbrush, medicine, water)
This channel is becoming important to my sanity. Alot of times I feel like im having a mental breakdown. Its nice to something that alleviates that pressure.
I... just burst into body shaking sobs. You know how something resonates so hard, you can't respond in any other way than to just cry in relief because someone gets it? yeah. that's me right now. I've been trying to clean my apartment for 6 weeks now. and I only have 2 days to do it now, I've put it off so long, and like, everything is clutter in stasis, and I HATE IT.
ADHD diagnosed for 26 years now and my friends and family have been threatening to call the show hoarders on me... This video is extremely helpful. I’m realizing that I’m not crazy for having tons of my stuff randomly stacked up, but that I just need get some help sorting or getting rid of things.
THANK YOU!!!
You let your friends and family inside your house?!? (JK, from another ADHD long-timer)
Im realizing I must have it too. For years Ive wondered''Whats wrong with me''
I was shamed and abused so deeply for "being messy" that I spiralled into very deep depression. I was even told I couldn't have a relationship because I am messy. The depression made it worse. I am now moving towards minimalism.
Sometimes I "joke" to judgmental people that a lot of serial killers are extremely tidy and they would love them as their neighbours because they prefer tidiness over nice people that care about you. And that they would be those surprised neighbours on TV saying, "We didn't notice anything, he was so quiet and neat..."
Now that I know that I have inattentive ADHD I know my mess is not a character trait. It's a symptomatic habit that formed and that can be undone. It means everything to me to know that.
Honestly.. you are the only creator who is actually helpful and posts solutions..not just the problem. ❤ thank you.. .. typing from a very cluttered room
When this video just came up I was literally JUST on a call with my friend ranting about my clutter in my room
WOAH I got quite a bit of likes glad to see I’m not alone 😂😂❤️
yay timing ftw :D
How to ADHD yesss hopefully I can actually get my room clean this time😂😂🤭
My office is a mess and I spent this morning shoving papers and stuff into big boxes and put it out of my sight. So helpful!!!
This should be inspiring me today of all days. I've put off arranging things for weeks and had decided to have my friend come clean Sunday.
Tony Rossel yess this is exactly how I “clean” my room
I was just almost crying over the huge clutter piles all around my room that I have procrastinated over for months now and then I got notification off this. I got relief. I have lots of stasis clutter around the shelves and on floor, I have got my worktable cleared from it. It is slow progress but progress non the least. I got finally my ADHD-C dg this April and coming around it has been a huge pressure from my shoulders. Now my parents also know and after hige burstout they even understand me, especially my ADHD like mom. I have been your huge fan for 1,5 years now and it feels like coming home to get called your Brains. Thank you, your videos have helped me so much, they are short, easy to follow, interesting, relatable and offer actually working tips. And your voice makes me smile always. I am 21 old woman and only now am I learning most about myself aside being lesbian. Thank you ❤️🙌
Congrats on the diagnosis and revelations!
The only clean clothes my husband and I have clean right now are socks. He's a slob and doesn't care if he re wears dirty clothes and I have ADHD so I always end up doing a small load of laundry right before work. Uhh so anyway my story is I have piles of dirty laundry
I love this so much. I'm actually crying because I haven't heard someone else explain what this feels like. I hold so much shame about myself and 'the way that I am', I feel so defeated. I am so appreciative of you sharing your experiences with us and providing this kind of help.
I feel like this video was made just for me! I think I have felt that about many of your videos. Thank you for doing what you do, I have so much love and respect for you.
It's nice to find out we're not alone. I just found out, too. Hugs.
Yes about the shame! Finding this channel has really lifted the emotional burden I carried about this.. ("what's wrong with me? why can't I manage to do this simple thing?"). It's also really reassuring to discover it's not just me.
(Now I have to take the next step of official diagnosis and, hopefully, some medication support.)
The shame that NTs pile on us is not, and should not be ours to carry. We are different, and they can't handle the truth of the difference. So instead of just accepting what is, they think shaming us is going to allow them to stay in their sense of neurotypical self-righteousness. Sorry, Neurotypical Charlie, but this "Katfish" is calling you out on your out-of-tuna thinking. (Yeah, my sense of humor is weird, too. 😜)
I cannot say that I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD, but this relates to me sooo much. That endless cycle is something I face a lot. The overwhelm and the ignore, I just want my house tidy before the new year!
you're so right. there's so much shame. only making that cycle more painful. So much energy in the wrong place.
I had an issue with junkmail cluttering up my dining room table. My ADHD coach said I should try putting a bin next to the door so when I walk into my house, the junk mail goes right into the recycling bin and never makes it to the table. Its been fantastic.
I have lived 53 years with ADHD. It was not diagnosed until I was 40. For a while just having the diagnosis made things easier to deal with. But now, 13 years on, I still really, really, struggle with the clutter problem. Thank you for sharing.
I'm planning on cleaning out my room, especially under my bed (my bed has space under it), over the summer so I have a good place for school work next year, so thank you!!!
I have severe ADHD and so does my husband, my son is going through the diagnosis stage but he's obviously adhd and my daughter is adhd/autistic.....I spent HOURS tidying yesterday...today the place is a disaster again....but our home is full of love, laughs, understanding and we try to help each other.
For dishes, I really like to organize it, like utensils, pots and pans, bowls, and plates, it really helps me narrow down stuff
Thank you for making this channel, i used to feel so ashamed of myself for not being able to get work done like my friends and classmates do, turn in assignment that i actually finished on time and i really appreciate the effort you put into each video you make. My parents dont buy me meds anymore and it's been so hard for me to adjust even tho they stopped buying it over a year ago. I love your channel so much and I love you so much. I hope you continue to grow here on UA-cam and get the recognition you deserve
Oh my good lord, why aren't they getting you your meds anymore?? D: Is there any way you can get them on your own?
Thanks, this one is really spot on for me. I get overwhelmed with my clutter and try to ignore it. Then, sometimes I feel bad that I never have people over (besides my son and my brother). When my boyfriend has his adult daughters over (once in a while), I feel like I need to go through everything any really clean the apartment. I end up doing the best I can. Sometimes, I go through a pile or 2 of paper and other stuff. By that time, most of it ends up being trash.
Thanks for normalizing it for us Brains.
Oh my. I'm now bawling. You definitely have a new biggest fan, and just seeing someone else going through the struggle that is currently causing rifts in my family is so reassuring. I'm really trying!
Your channel has been so helpful for me! I don't have a diagnosis for ADHD (quite a long and expensive process) but I can relate so much to your content and the tips you provide have been helping a lot
I'm in the same boat!
Same here
This video is so comforting. I always look at my house and think “what is wrong with me” and “not good enough”. I’m so over it
Oh god, I needed this video, thank you!
I constantly get the clutter-overwhelm-issue, and the main thing that helped me was finding proper spaces for the things that didn't have one. I actually started doing that while watching Marie Kondo :D
Now I have two zones in my room that are easy to tidy up and make them presentable, and I try to at least have one that is looking neat and makes me want to spend time in that space. As for what I need for work? A pillow fort. I kid you not, I am working on a bed with 15 pillows and 3 blankets and snuggling into a pillow nest allows me to to hyperfocus and work for hours on end. This was definitely one of the "what I did not expect I would need" cases, because the other zone of the room is a whole working area with a 10 foot desk and proper chair 😂
This is SO HELPFUL. My girlfriend is so fond of minimalism and a "control freak", I love how clean her house is, even with a cat , but I have ADHD. After moving together we are in an endless conversation of how important it is to put my stuff where it belongs (like I actually know where it belong, when did I even misplaced it and what the heck did I misplaced). It's not even arguments, it's just conversations, because she is trying her best to be patient to me and she is wonderful. But still, MY STUFF IS EVERYWHERE, I'm mentally stressed of my clutters and facing my gf, so I'm trying to avoid both. And obviously both didn't help :P anyway I need to deal with the pile on my desk... now
She probably found the joy in it, you can too! I recommend watching videos to get inspired, the fun part doesn't happen until later when you feel like you got the hang of it. I thought I could never do it but there's tons of videos online and I got some help for free.
This video just brought me to tears! I'm 51 years old and I was always told and treated like I was lazy or just a messy person. Why can't I keep my house clean? How do I live like that? And I would clean. For a while. This video exactly explained me! I'm not the only one. I just realized last week that I have ADHD. I am now looking for the right professional help. My whole life.....I never knew or understood why I was me. I saw your Ted talk and it clicked. Thank you!
Don’t have ADHD…that I know of, but I do have crippling anxiety which honestly has a lot of the same triggers and feelings that you explained in your vid. This helps so much, especially when I was able to have my husband watch it! He has OCD/ADD, I have anxiety, we’re quite the pair. But we love each other endlessly and cleaning up our house is really important to both of us. Being able to share this video with him empowered us both, I feel so much less guilty now that we’ve both watched it, gone through the list attached, and started our clean up. I still look around and feel shame but it is definitely getting better and it is definitely easier to keep working together without the guilt or frustration now that we have a clear plan to work with and the knowledge of how we got here. I am definitely getting excited to host around the holidays and I can say that 100% of the help has come from your video! Thank you so very much!
When you get a little overwhelmed at your clutter and see this video title...👀 Can you see me?
Yes i love the topic of this video! I've found in my experience that alot of the times if i don't do things perfectly that i get discouraged and give up. Instead of recognizing the progress that I've made and being proud of that, i instead focus on how i didn't live up to my own expectations of perfectionism. We ADHD people have a really hard time with being confident in our own ability to follow through with our goals and instead beat ourselfs up for not being perfect on the first try.
My old apartment was a mess, then I moved into a new one, but didn't quite have the space for all my stuff, so I left it in boxes "to unpack later"....
One year later, my apartment is still a obstacle course.
Me toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@@recovered4life Just moved again ... we shall see how the obstacle course situation changes.
I have high hopes for the future, for now.
:D
It’s probably a bit late for this, but if you haven’t used something in a year, chances are VERY good that you don’t need it anymore. I’d consider going through the box with a friend and just keep reminding yourself “I haven’t used this in a whole year, do I really need it?” while you add to a donate/toss pile.
I love this video especially the part about the clutter cycle. For years I’ve been ashamed about how messy my apartment is. I will definitely be taking these tips into account ❤️
finally, someone whose solution isn't "put away and get rid of everything." thank you so much
I got in an argument with my parents about my messy room this week so this is more helpful than you know...thank you.
I end up with tears in my eyes because of how deep this topic is an issue for me (1 adult and my two boys maybe all with ADD living in a tiny space! 🤯). The emotion in your eyes spoke to me. Thank you so much for doing this!
You have helped me realize my ADHD was this bad I was diagnosed at 12 and was prescribed medication but my family is extremely religious and don’t believe medicine works and that it just destroys your liver etc. So I never took ADHD medication and I believe staying inside has made my ADHD worse. So I showed my parents these videos in hope to educate them more on what ADHD is and they will allow me to take medicine to help now.
I was recently diagnosed and have found this channel to be so helpful! I'm 32 and have suspected I've been this way my entire life. This channel helps me to feel normal and not alone. Thank you.
Well, I didn't expect a video on clutter to make me cry, but here we are. I don't know if I've ever felt this seen.
Omg it's so nice to hear that some clutter can't be avoided from someone else! I'm so tired of arguing that point to others, it was starting to feel weak
But not anymore!!
Really love how you address these every-day kinda troubles adhd brings about, it helps a lot more than the big exestential but also really non-specific "guides" any time
Thank you! This is such a great topic! Personally, stressing about the clutter in my house and going throught that wheel over and over has affected my quality of life. I'm going to start working with that worksheet and see what progress I can make 🤗
This video, as well as the "wall of awful" have been some of my fvorites!
This has been one of my biggest issues since the start of quarantine in March. I recently realized it feels even worse becoming don’t really have any decor around my apartment aside from just the clutter from trying to keep sane between shifts at the nursing home.
I’m almost 40 and I am close to a diagnosis of ADHD and all of this is so helpful!! Having 3 kids, a husband and a big ole’ dog make it almost impossible to get ahead of the mess!! Bless you for putting out all of this information!! Love u
I’ve always called the clutter in stasis “residential junk” as in the doom piles of random stuff that have been there getting avoiding so long they just live there now. It’s really nice to see someone else talking about it.
Hey Jessica! I just wanted to stop by and let you know how much you've enriched my life since my diagnosis. I've commented before, but I want you to know that even simple little videos like this about clutter often bring me nearly to tears.
Seeing such simple ideas that seem so daunting to me explained in such a patient and understanding way help me feel understood and more at ease with myself.
I've followed you for a couple of years now, and I can't thank you enough. You're a truly beautiful soul and one heck of a brain.
I moved last year and promised myself I'd design it to be easier to sort clutter and my multiple forms of work while still managing all that in a studio flat.
I took one wall and built a full wall unit with shelves, a worktop counter as a desktop (2.5m) and doors/drawers in most of them to help keep the visual clutter down (even when it's tidy, sometimes it still feels like clutter so closing it off helps me focus). Over the last 5 years, I've been ruthless with my stuff, took a while but I'm fairly minimalist whenever I can be.
I wasn't diagnosed til the year after but I think deep down, I was screaming at myself to manage this somehow because of how much it was weighing me down.
I'm recently coming to grips with the effect ADHD has had on the way I've been living my life. I've started realising the value of your videos and taking them to heart. Thanks!
I know how you feel, the best thing about Jessica's videos is they help you realise that you're not broken just because you can't seem to do something the same way that others can. You just need to use tools that work for you, be it timers, checklists, reminders or other ways of breaking things down into small steps. And using those tools isn't failing or cheating, it's making reasonable adjustments which will help you be successful.
Thank you so much for making this video ❤ I am still awaiting a formal psychiatric evaluation but am looking for self-help techniques for my ADHD symptoms.
What the wonderful sisters said about Clutter in motion resonated so much and has helped me reevaluate some real anxiety triggers
Does anyone else keep finding more ways to accommodate clutter-in-stasis in order to avoid making decisions about what to keep and what to throw out?
I now have shelves that I can't reach because they are behind other shelves.
I had this problem a few months ago... boxes piled over each other so I couldn't reach the lowest ones. I think watching the videos about The wall of awful might help you :)
I usually get a box, and put my random stuff in there. It's there but it's not, yk? lol
@@maddieek6865 I do this too...always my "inbox" of actual paper etc. gets bigger and bigger until I don't remember anything that's in there, nor can I find stuff....... but at least if it's in a box, it's not a huge stack of things distracting me, it's one box and I can live with that. (sort of!)
I have the same thing.
I hired a storage unit so the boxes wouldn't live at my house.
This is a huge help! I am in the middle of moving from one room to the next and had to come to terms with a lot of clutter in stasis in my room.
Also I hope you are ok! Seemed the energy was different from the usual so hope u are taking time for yourself and doing well =)
Just watched your other video explaining exactly what was up. Thank you so much for providing context, even more proud that this new video is here now =)
Maxwell N. Maxwell, which was the other video?
@@amytarvin2776 was the how to be ok! Definitely provided perspective on how you were doing and made me appriciate more that your videos were still going up
I have moved house twice in 6 years and each time I got rid of so much stuff that cluttered my life. Even if it's just a room move take the chance to do some cleaning, decluttering or kon Mari and rethink what you use, need and love! You won't miss anything you don't use, I swear.
Whoa, "Some tools might be unavailable due to heavy traffic in this file." It may be helpful to post a PDF version. Also, everyone saying they were just thinking about this just goes to show how common and nagging this challenge is.
I just came across your channel not too long ago and I have to say that you make me feel so much better about my ADHD and it's overwhelming how my place can get so cluttered and I also have like PTSD from how messy my house was and the environment that I lived in as a child so having you be there to confidently tell me that it is okay and that it is normal makes me feel so reassured thank you
OMG! I have tears of joy because of how much this video has helped me. I am a mom that is cleaning clutter 24/7.
My daughter has adhd and, thanks to you, I now have a way to learn how to work with it and show my 7yo how to live with it. Your videos are a blessing! I've even send a couple to her teacher so he can understand her better and her grades have improved because we now understand how to help her study. THANK YOU! You are a prayer answered.
So helpful! I'm 27 and was recently (last week) diagnosed with ADHD. Thanks for this and I can't wait to watch the rest of your videos!
So glad it’s not another “well tidy up then” “life hack”
That said, I’m not even at home, I’ve been at work for 5 days...
Awww I feel you!! Stay strong!! Hope you get a chance to unwind soon!
Thanks
It’s railway life, I’ll get to spend a (comparably) reasonable amount of time at home from September for the following 4 months
Also working with the dr to find prescriptions that help too
I hear you. I hate it when they say just throw it out, or label some wicker baskets, like thats gonna help.