I love anna and elsa example because even before i didn't know about attachment styles, I realized that anna and elsa's relationship (I know they are sisters) is so similar with my ex bf. I was anna and he was elsa in our story, especially their chilhood "do you wanna make a snowmaaannn??" and my ex bf just ignores or says he is busy and I used to push him more in that situations :') He came back and he wanted to be friends after he is rejected by another girl. He said he knows that girl for 1 month while our relationship 3 years. He said he wants to protect her beacause she is a princess. He said people talk bad about her and he wanna prove they are wrong. I just got so angry when he said these. I feel like he is still like a child that's all. I feel like he can be manipulated by whomever wanna manipulate. Even if he believes that they are wrong, he must be cautious. In the end he saw that people are right. Why I have to know this? I didn't ask but he told all this ahhh. He said he is sorry because he realized he didn't make enough effort for me as he did for that new girl. He said he thinks the karma found him. How can hearing his effort for another girl make me happy? How could he think I'll be happy for that "karma"? I asked his time when we were in relationship but he always chose other things over me. He said he gave his time and money for that girl but she rejected when he confesses his feelings for her. What should I feel? More unworthy? All the time I blamed myself for my poor communication skills in our breakup, I punished myself by not eating but what he did? He just wanna be friends, he doesn't wanna repair anything. To protect my feelings I rejected his friendship offer. I know it's not right but I asked him to not contact me, if he won't repair. One side wanna accept him whatever he does, one side hates him for giving that girl what he never gave me and still doesn't give and he offers friendship.
Its interesting that you gave that example of that lady that turned you off because you could tell she was trying to follow a schedule. My therapist advised me (because I have a tendency to move WAY too quickly--abandonment, anxious attachment issues amongst other things) to literally map out how many dates to hold out for a kiss, allow someone to pick me up for a date at my house, come over, etc. I do agree with you, there should be a blend of the two or some compromise.
Well if it works for you then go for it. Personally, I'm not going to enjoy dating someone who does that. I don't like rigidity or rules. Some people do
I liked this video, not only for the valuable information, but for the entertainment value and your hilarious animation. Interesting perspectives. Thanks for the giggles during this lesson.
This video made me laugh 😂 Also I want to see the Frozen special video lol. That could be interesting to have videos on attachment trauma/disorders etc on people from tv/movies as examples. Tiger King springs to mind as an interesting one as it seemed to me like a lot of people in that have attachment trauma/bipolar/ersonality disorders etc
Wow this video has removed my stress so much!!!!! I felt like that I just took prosac. I met this pretty girl for couple days, things were just went well. And I start to tell her that I love her. Then she left lol. Sometime it is good to listen to others in term of finding out the feedback.
Hi coach, welcome back! Wondering if you're OK with a coaching regarding a best friend and getting out of the friendzone with her. I told her I have feelings (I know, wrong). It's a long story, I mentioned a bit in the comments of the previous video and one of the guys here was very helpful (thank you again Jack!), but, I feel very anxious and sad, and I'm doubting myself. Would like to know if this is something you'd take on... Thanks. EDIT: PS I'm in no contact with her now, after 4 months of trying it again...and it's the no contact plus some other things that are making me feel so messed up and guilty.
We'll. Some people are looking for a casual hookup, some people look for a relationship. Initial attraction can be different for two individuals. You have to be aware of that when you meet someone. She/he could be love on first sight for you while you could just be a "better than sitting at home eating ice cream" type of thing. So take it easy. One date at a time. Be conscious of how the other person feels. Don't behave or speak in ways that do not match the other person's level of affection. You're giving away all your power.
Yes and unfortunately many people are deceptive about their motives... For example: Men are notorious for lying to women aka being charming to get them into bed... and many women for using men for money and power.
Craig, you are awesome! Just a thought here: possibly a very different situation to yours but I once had a date tell me "I don't kiss on the first date", similar to your story.When she told me that, I kissed her. Six weeks later she told me that she knew she wanted me because of that kiss. Counter intuitive much? In hindsight I'm still not sure if I think her behavior suggested some relationship issues or if it was just one of her 'tests' for strength that you talk about sometimes.
CRaIggg please answer this I dont wanna make mistake, my ex is chatting forth and while with me and Im flirting wih her but she is giving me hardtime, like saying yea better think about other girls now and Im confused! what should I text her now! Can I text this I dont want to stay friends and want you as a romantic partner and if she ever want to come back then text me?? Today is my birthday and thats why she reacjed out to me ! i was doing like you said No contact and When she texted I replied after many hours! She still is giving me hardtime??
Coach Craig Kenneth Haha I know Im really flipping out and having a very hard time. What Im saying is I followed as you told no contact till today , it was my birthday and My ex girlfriend had texted me yesterday : Someone is becoming 23 tomorrow!, and I ignored till today at 12 send her back like yea I am! Than we chatted a little and I was flirting but she was giving me a hardtime in that flirtchatting. I said like: I really would love to spank you! And she said something like you better do that to other girls from now on! So I am confused a little beacause she is still not having anxiety of losing me because I didn't texted her for about 2 or 3 days It was she who made the move! Hope u understand lol Im having a hard time sorry
This is so true. I met a girl and we slept together on our 2nd date, while walking she wanted to hold my hand and tried so hard not to let her I had to close my fist and put my hands in my pocket she put her hands in my pocket and was trying to open it to hold my hand, that really ruined everything. Another girl I dated I don't remember how many dates we had b4 she said this to me while in the cinema she said that when we buy a house we need to agree on the contract that when we get divorced she keeps the house and the children and I must move out I replied to her excuse me, whats your name again? sometimes it can also rotate when you start seeing someone and they start coming strong, like too much communication i.e texting.. but when time passes and things start to turn the other way round then they are put off. They don't realize that they where like that in the beginning.
I love anna and elsa example because even before i didn't know about attachment styles, I realized that anna and elsa's relationship (I know they are sisters) is so similar with my ex bf. I was anna and he was elsa in our story, especially their chilhood "do you wanna make a snowmaaannn??" and my ex bf just ignores or says he is busy and I used to push him more in that situations :') He came back and he wanted to be friends after he is rejected by another girl. He said he knows that girl for 1 month while our relationship 3 years. He said he wants to protect her beacause she is a princess. He said people talk bad about her and he wanna prove they are wrong. I just got so angry when he said these. I feel like he is still like a child that's all. I feel like he can be manipulated by whomever wanna manipulate. Even if he believes that they are wrong, he must be cautious. In the end he saw that people are right. Why I have to know this? I didn't ask but he told all this ahhh. He said he is sorry because he realized he didn't make enough effort for me as he did for that new girl. He said he thinks the karma found him. How can hearing his effort for another girl make me happy? How could he think I'll be happy for that "karma"? I asked his time when we were in relationship but he always chose other things over me. He said he gave his time and money for that girl but she rejected when he confesses his feelings for her. What should I feel? More unworthy? All the time I blamed myself for my poor communication skills in our breakup, I punished myself by not eating but what he did? He just wanna be friends, he doesn't wanna repair anything. To protect my feelings I rejected his friendship offer. I know it's not right but I asked him to not contact me, if he won't repair. One side wanna accept him whatever he does, one side hates him for giving that girl what he never gave me and still doesn't give and he offers friendship.
Its interesting that you gave that example of that lady that turned you off because you could tell she was trying to follow a schedule. My therapist advised me (because I have a tendency to move WAY too quickly--abandonment, anxious attachment issues amongst other things) to literally map out how many dates to hold out for a kiss, allow someone to pick me up for a date at my house, come over, etc. I do agree with you, there should be a blend of the two or some compromise.
Well if it works for you then go for it. Personally, I'm not going to enjoy dating someone who does that. I don't like rigidity or rules. Some people do
Really resonates with me as I usually tend to come on way way too strong and chase guys away .
I liked this video, not only for the valuable information, but for the entertainment value and your hilarious animation. Interesting perspectives. Thanks for the giggles during this lesson.
"What's your favorite movie?"
--"I love the Empire Strikes Back."
"Well, I want to have 3 kids." 😨...
😂
how would you re attract someone after coming off too needy/insecure?
Craig you're looking refreshed! The cruise has done you well.
You should see my tan lines... there are none :P
Jk jk
This video made me laugh 😂 Also I want to see the Frozen special video lol. That could be interesting to have videos on attachment trauma/disorders etc on people from tv/movies as examples. Tiger King springs to mind as an interesting one as it seemed to me like a lot of people in that have attachment trauma/bipolar/ersonality disorders etc
TRYING ON A WEDDING DRESS!!! 👗💍 Laughter is the best medicine, thx Coach Craig!! 😂😂😂
Wow this video has removed my stress so much!!!!! I felt like that I just took prosac. I met this pretty girl for couple days, things were just went well. And I start to tell her that I love her. Then she left lol. Sometime it is good to listen to others in term of finding out the feedback.
Why are so awesome at your job
Can i come back from coming on too strong? I gave a statement about her smile too soon after meeting her the second day
I haven't even gone on a date with you, and I love you...
You have great taste in men sir
I’ll say it 5x!!! Haha
Hi coach, welcome back! Wondering if you're OK with a coaching regarding a best friend and getting out of the friendzone with her. I told her I have feelings (I know, wrong). It's a long story, I mentioned a bit in the comments of the previous video and one of the guys here was very helpful (thank you again Jack!), but, I feel very anxious and sad, and I'm doubting myself.
Would like to know if this is something you'd take on... Thanks.
EDIT: PS I'm in no contact with her now, after 4 months of trying it again...and it's the no contact plus some other things that are making me feel so messed up and guilty.
We'll. Some people are looking for a casual hookup, some people look for a relationship. Initial attraction can be different for two individuals. You have to be aware of that when you meet someone. She/he could be love on first sight for you while you could just be a "better than sitting at home eating ice cream" type of thing.
So take it easy. One date at a time. Be conscious of how the other person feels. Don't behave or speak in ways that do not match the other person's level of affection. You're giving away all your power.
Yes and unfortunately many people are deceptive about their motives... For example: Men are notorious for lying to women aka being charming to get them into bed... and many women for using men for money and power.
Coach Craig Kenneth That's a good point and very true. I guess love will always be a gamble coach. Thank you for your work btw.
You're welcome... I apologize in advance for all the bad jokes :)
Coach Craig Kenneth You are you and you are awesome so don't ever change ;)
Welcome back !!! 😁😁 How was the cruise vacation?? 🙌🙌👍
It was great! I need another week :)
Craig, you are awesome! Just a thought here: possibly a very different situation to yours but I once had a date tell me "I don't kiss on the first date", similar to your story.When she told me that, I kissed her. Six weeks later she told me that she knew she wanted me because of that kiss. Counter intuitive much? In hindsight I'm still not sure if I think her behavior suggested some relationship issues or if it was just one of her 'tests' for strength that you talk about sometimes.
CRaIggg please answer this I dont wanna make mistake, my ex is chatting forth and while with me and Im flirting wih her but she is giving me hardtime, like saying yea better think about other girls now and Im confused! what should I text her now! Can I text this I dont want to stay friends and want you as a romantic partner and if she ever want to come back then text me?? Today is my birthday and thats why she reacjed out to me ! i was doing like you said No contact and When she texted I replied after many hours! She still is giving me hardtime??
Your anxiety is making your comment hard to understand?
Coach Craig Kenneth Haha I know Im really flipping out and having a very hard time. What Im saying is I followed as you told no contact till today , it was my birthday and My ex girlfriend had texted me yesterday : Someone is becoming 23 tomorrow!, and I ignored till today at 12 send her back like yea I am! Than we chatted a little and I was flirting but she was giving me a hardtime in that flirtchatting. I said like: I really would love to spank you! And she said something like you better do that to other girls from now on! So I am confused a little beacause she is still not having anxiety of losing me because I didn't texted her for about 2 or 3 days It was she who made the move! Hope u understand lol Im having a hard time sorry
This is so true. I met a girl and we slept together on our 2nd date, while walking she wanted to hold my hand and tried so hard not to let her I had to close my fist and put my hands in my pocket she put her hands in my pocket and was trying to open it to hold my hand, that really ruined everything. Another girl I dated I don't remember how many dates we had b4 she said this to me while in the cinema she said that when we buy a house we need to agree on the contract that when we get divorced she keeps the house and the children and I must move out I replied to her excuse me, whats your name again? sometimes it can also rotate when you start seeing someone and they start coming strong, like too much communication i.e texting.. but when time passes and things start to turn the other way round then they are put off. They don't realize that they where like that in the beginning.
You're hilarious!😂
Craig is going crazy 😜
i broke up with him can I send him a marriage proposal to him
I love this guy.. my perfect date 😂👌🏽
It could have been worse, she could of asked for ur hand in marriage.
Omgsh the subject of divorce. You are so funny!! 😂
U are sooo adorable! !!
Hahaha!