Scorched Earth Tactics in Age of Wonders: Planetfall

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 385

  • @arsenioyu4265
    @arsenioyu4265 5 років тому +1838

    Hello! I am a representative from the Hague, and would like to have a chat with you!

    • @Kelchjr23
      @Kelchjr23 5 років тому +102

      The Austrians cant save you now

    • @theatagamer90
      @theatagamer90 5 років тому +120

      Don't worry Vale. They can't accuse you if the representative disappears!
      *Aims Flamethrower with malicious intent*

    • @ManOfSemantics
      @ManOfSemantics 5 років тому +51

      It’s treason then.

    • @thehague8148
      @thehague8148 5 років тому +53

      Excuse me? We want to have a word *with you* now.

    • @gamingwithchase3903
      @gamingwithchase3903 5 років тому +7

      They can’t hurt you if the gauge ceased existence

  • @nekhbet_853
    @nekhbet_853 5 років тому +1062

    “Time to do something I have never done before “ are you gonna follow the Geneva convention?

    • @behindthesmile1276
      @behindthesmile1276 5 років тому +40

      That's more like the last thing he will ever do

    • @Someone-lr6gu
      @Someone-lr6gu 5 років тому +69

      You dont have to follow the Geneva convention if there is no Geneva.

    • @Valefisk
      @Valefisk  5 років тому +163

      lmao no way, how on earth could I function if I followed it

    • @omegaentertainment01
      @omegaentertainment01 5 років тому +19

      @@Valefisk Agreed, especially considering that the game isn't set *on* Earth at all.

    • @ShiningDarknes
      @ShiningDarknes 5 років тому +6

      Are you going to actually garrison your bases?

  • @Someone-lr6gu
    @Someone-lr6gu 5 років тому +1277

    Riot police, red colors, accent, scorched earth tactics, weapons of mass desctrution.
    This reminds me of something, hmmm...

  • @andrew-paulclements1502
    @andrew-paulclements1502 5 років тому +545

    Valefisk: "We saved the city from the disgusting Xenos!"
    The City: On Fire

    • @acewolfgang276
      @acewolfgang276 5 років тому +42

      We did it Patrick! We saved the city!

    • @sirmitri6666
      @sirmitri6666 5 років тому +22

      Welcome, to Warhammer 40K

    • @darkposidon5464
      @darkposidon5464 5 років тому +7

      I am glad to see a 40k joke and also Death to the imperium

    • @sirmitri6666
      @sirmitri6666 5 років тому +11

      @@darkposidon5464 GLORY TO THE EMPIRE, PUEGE THE XENOS

    • @Josh-mk7ok
      @Josh-mk7ok 5 років тому +4

      Is valefisk related to the mother of dragons?

  • @czesuipogging8775
    @czesuipogging8775 5 років тому +559

    Ah yes famous dwarf KGB riot police

  • @videogamegang1797
    @videogamegang1797 5 років тому +733

    I hope you get more sponsorships from Paradox. They are kinda *the people* who make Strategy games.

    • @joekrauskopf8942
      @joekrauskopf8942 5 років тому +31

      ensemble studios would like to have a chat with you

    • @titouancolombe7156
      @titouancolombe7156 5 років тому +30

      Them and Creative Assembly are by far the best companies who make strategy games.

    • @Poffean
      @Poffean 5 років тому +10

      90% of my steam library is paradox games

    • @KevinMcScrooge
      @KevinMcScrooge 5 років тому +19

      @@Poffean That's because you spent all your money on Paradox DLCs, which is exactly what I did.

    • @KjKase
      @KjKase 5 років тому +4

      ​@@Poffean ​ @Nope Nope Eh, I own a lot of other games, so I can't say that. But, I do have most Paradox games. I just couldn't bring myself to purchase the DLC for all of them... Too expensive. I have most of the DLC for Stellaris, though. I kinda view their DLC as a subscription, cause it feels that way (at least it did for Stellaris and Europa). You pay for new content every couple months--if it looks good and I'm still playing the game and having fun, I'll buy it. Otherwise, I just pass. The problem is that, then you feel like you're missing something from the game, because the game has been balanced around the new DLC. AoW 3 didn't have tons of DLC and I still play that from time to time and really enjoy myself.
      While I enjoy new updates like in Stellaris, it just gets pretty expensive after a while at their price point and I end up just not playing anymore if I don't feel it's worth it for the DLC, That being said, I think I've probably spent a couple hundred on Stellaris DLC... Still not sure if it was really worth it, probably won't spend that much in the future if they do the same thing with Planetfall.

  • @jrmorrow2
    @jrmorrow2 5 років тому +512

    Remember Ladies and Gentlemen. The Geneva Convention doesn’t apply to A: Outer-space and B: Non-humans

    • @math3000
      @math3000 5 років тому +43

      C: The Winners

    • @SaberTask
      @SaberTask 5 років тому +16

      D: The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.

    • @jrmorrow2
      @jrmorrow2 5 років тому +7

      Don't Exist: you just triggered my PTSD, thanks

    • @SaberTask
      @SaberTask 5 років тому

      @@jrmorrow2 You're welcome.
      lol

    • @AHoardyBoi
      @AHoardyBoi 5 років тому +4

      Don't Exist NO... NOT AGAIN.

  • @roach9397
    @roach9397 5 років тому +300

    "I wasn't expecting Immortan Joe to tame Smaug..."
    Now there's a movie I'd watch.

  • @tehdappermudkip2391
    @tehdappermudkip2391 5 років тому +364

    A combination of the Underminer and a Big Daddy. Truly the greatest leader.

    • @rocketman2485
      @rocketman2485 5 років тому +18

      Daddy Underminer pwease burn me with your big long Flammenwerfer

    • @supernerdbiscuit7489
      @supernerdbiscuit7489 5 років тому +9

      Underdaddy

    • @leadontaste7261
      @leadontaste7261 2 роки тому +3

      @@supernerdbiscuit7489 What are you doing, step-underdaddy?

  • @NovelPond
    @NovelPond 5 років тому +373

    BEHOLD THE UNDERMINER!

    • @MChief123
      @MChief123 5 років тому +14

      I WAS ALWAYS BENEATH YOU, BUT NOTHING IS BENEATH MEEEEE!

  • @ascoolas77
    @ascoolas77 5 років тому +307

    This isn’t Desperate Housewives The Game

  • @Egalia_1
    @Egalia_1 5 років тому +158

    Valefisk after slaughtering a bunch of space animals and innocent civilizations: “Arriverderci.”

    • @Valefisk
      @Valefisk  5 років тому +11

      all i can hear is brad pitt going: ua-cam.com/video/4aXIFFaWNjM/v-deo.html

  • @451dragonism
    @451dragonism 5 років тому +51

    Imagine being so adept at war-crimes that you instinctively choose the faction best suited to committing them.

    • @bonogiamboni4830
      @bonogiamboni4830 2 роки тому

      Best faction and arguably best secret tech. Psynumbra (torture) and xenoplague (bio warfare) don't mess around either but promethean is just *spicy.*

  • @ctb3335
    @ctb3335 5 років тому +35

    A bouncer-type big daddy wielding a sword orders his troops to reenact WW1 whilst he slaughters elemental antlions alongside a WH40k dreadnaught
    And people said Infinity War was an ambitious crossover... bruh

  • @TzhoOriatee
    @TzhoOriatee 5 років тому +15

    I Love that on the DVAR, you can Choose Male and Female gender, and it changes nothing at all on the character model.

  • @speclexfire2353
    @speclexfire2353 5 років тому +78

    Dark-Blood red color, Mini-gun Mechs, 47 variations of a flame thrower, and basically space nukes/lasers/flamethrowers... Mother Russia would be proud

    • @someguy1313
      @someguy1313 4 роки тому +1

      Nah the imperium would be more proud

  • @xsquad7122
    @xsquad7122 5 років тому +27

    If I can't smell the naplam there's not enough fire. Vale, 2019

  • @SentryWill
    @SentryWill 5 років тому +58

    Deep down we all know that Valefisk's ethnicity is Warcrimean.

  • @traviswilliams2348
    @traviswilliams2348 5 років тому +34

    The instant one of your commanders is the underminer you know you have a good game on hand.

  • @motokuchoma
    @motokuchoma 5 років тому +18

    That final battle was a warcrime faceoff:
    Napalm vs Bioweapons

  • @modernpirate988
    @modernpirate988 5 років тому +24

    Everyone: Oh no
    Vale: OOOH YEAH

  • @Ajc-ni3xn
    @Ajc-ni3xn 5 років тому +6

    Imagine you’re the leader of a great stellar civilization, then some cute, 3 foot dwarf dude in underminer cosplay comes up to you. So you ask why he’s here. He stares you directly in the eyes and says “My purpose is to eradicate all live with flame.”

  • @rosjanpliczkow5575
    @rosjanpliczkow5575 5 років тому +27

    Just don't tell him that Byzantine Empire in TW: Medieval 2 Crusades campaign have flamethrowers

  • @Corusame
    @Corusame 5 років тому +3

    I can't get enough of this game, most fun I've had gaming in ages. Bonus that the tactical battles have so much depth, constantly learning new tips and tricks. This vid was hilarious, keep em coming!

  • @ZKP314
    @ZKP314 5 років тому +8

    Paradox: Why do we have a Dwarf that sets things on fire?
    Other guy: Valefisk.
    Paradox: Makes sense to me.

  • @Ajvt-ux4ec
    @Ajvt-ux4ec 5 років тому +26

    4:30 well at least he lasted longer than in the movie

  • @Ake-TL
    @Ake-TL 5 років тому +8

    God, every single name was Slavic, who knew we needed red-russian-napalm-space-dwarfs?!

  • @lucastark1784
    @lucastark1784 5 років тому +43

    That Amazon faction is the exact kind of thing I hate in these games. Their units are too weak to properly fight anything, so they just debuff you into the ground. Unfortunately for them, indiscriminate incendiary artillery is VERY effective.

    • @pweefypweef4089
      @pweefypweef4089 Рік тому

      Yeahhh the fact that Amazon focuses on debuffing makes them versatile with the Xenoplague. The only reason I run Kir'Ko/Xeno is because I love the Zerg from Starcraft and they're the closest playstyle fitting their themes...but now that ive seen Amazon performing better I'm considering switching to Amazon/Xeno and seeing the results.

  • @deprivalli
    @deprivalli 5 років тому +1

    hell yeah get that coin!!!! i'm so happy you got sponsored. great video, as per

  • @twitchingphoenix4595
    @twitchingphoenix4595 5 років тому +10

    This game feels like the definition of "What Geneva Convention"

  • @theroguenetwork1083
    @theroguenetwork1083 5 років тому +3

    You can't break the Geneva convention if the Star Union that upholds it collapsed.

  • @sirmitri6666
    @sirmitri6666 5 років тому +5

    Killing xenos with fire, a súper military faction, purifying cities with fire
    THIS IS WARHAMMER 40K

  • @cb-hz6dm
    @cb-hz6dm 5 років тому +33

    What would valefisk do without questionable military tactics

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 4 роки тому

      It's not questionable if it gets you the win

  • @filmnoire616
    @filmnoire616 5 років тому +5

    7:32
    When you play as Russian Dwarves
    *Then realize you're fighting Finnish bugs**

  • @scavenger6268
    @scavenger6268 5 років тому +6

    Paradox: Greatest Sponsors of Andrew Jackson's Native Policies.

  • @CalebAdams
    @CalebAdams 5 років тому +1

    So glad you are covering this game! This game is a MASTERPIECE, I have been playing it nonstop since release!!! Having the most fun I've had in any strategy game I've played

  • @marcusrelicus728
    @marcusrelicus728 5 років тому +1

    7:32 wait, Vale is playing as a Russian dwarf, and he's fighting a bunch of frozen bugs who are throwing Molotoves at his APC.....THEY'RE THE F***ING FINNS!

  • @eternalsummer8409
    @eternalsummer8409 2 роки тому +1

    “The Germans are taking kiyev” well, on the scale of aged well

  • @Sam-ep2yo
    @Sam-ep2yo 5 років тому +3

    It isn't a war crime if noone can prove the state you were persecuting ever existed

  • @exudeku
    @exudeku 5 років тому +5

    Age of WarCrimes: Literal PlanetFall
    ft. Geneva Top-Priority Manhunt Watchlist: Vale as the Thicc Commie Shorties

  • @kaspernyberg
    @kaspernyberg 5 років тому +4

    General Secretary Valefisk, Supreme leader of the Slavic space dwarfs

  • @knightwestman8924
    @knightwestman8924 5 років тому +7

    I have to admit valefisk after many, many hours of watching you there is only one way to describe you and that is
    If thanos and Stalin had a baby and that baby was born in space marine armor and had heavy flamers for arms
    Welp that my comment for the day keep up with the great content

  • @octavian2381
    @octavian2381 5 років тому +1

    "Mr. Blackadder says, when the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table."
    HUZZAH! A MAN OF CULTURE!

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 5 років тому +7

    This so feels like Warhammer 40K. I absolutely love this game!

  • @nicorozner7417
    @nicorozner7417 3 роки тому +1

    NPCs when Vale unlocks the flamethrower:
    (Chuckles) I'm in danger.

  • @kafeelshah792
    @kafeelshah792 5 років тому +6

    Vale committing warcrimes in space? Hell yeah.

  • @Sharky4152
    @Sharky4152 5 років тому +1

    Everyone who's got this apparently likes the dwarves. Like, everyone I'm subscribed to uses the dwarves.

  • @ОлегКозлов-ю9т
    @ОлегКозлов-ю9т 5 років тому +1

    This isn't war, this is pest control! You are superior in only one aspect!

  • @angelsc7588
    @angelsc7588 5 років тому +2

    I need more of this
    I need more Pyromaniac Soviet Dwarves

  • @mischaprudon3316
    @mischaprudon3316 5 років тому +11

    The underminer is allied with stalin, god dammit valefisk. Can we get 1 game where the soviets are not involved. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @PotatoMcWhiskey
    @PotatoMcWhiskey 5 років тому +2

    Amazingly we had basically the same idea!

  • @Degenerate-ce4iw
    @Degenerate-ce4iw 5 років тому +4

    Native Displacement Act= Trail of Tears 2

  • @dota2fanclub
    @dota2fanclub 5 років тому

    Thanks paradox for sponsoring this channel. Amazing and refreshing content as always.
    Nice video, Thanks buddy, keep it up.

  • @SisuBjörk
    @SisuBjörk 5 років тому

    11:21 As a Finnish I am mostly impressed by your *Oho* its means like wow.
    Very proud of you.

  • @skipx5858
    @skipx5858 5 років тому +2

    Man i need more videos from you. Keep it up

  • @Tetragramix
    @Tetragramix 5 років тому +1

    Finally someone gets it. This isn't civ plus Xcom, it's Endless Legend plus Xcom.

  • @fuuryuuSKK
    @fuuryuuSKK 5 років тому +2

    7:20 FORTIFY FORTIFY FORTIFY

  • @Wintersoap123
    @Wintersoap123 5 років тому +3

    Underminer. I thought it was Zhukov in a mechanized suit

  • @Solll0
    @Solll0 5 років тому +3

    I love the smell of burning xenos in the morning

  • @lifesimulator3964
    @lifesimulator3964 5 років тому +2

    Ahem, it's the...
    *UNDERMINER!*

  • @alpharius2omegaboogaloo384
    @alpharius2omegaboogaloo384 5 років тому +3

    Please make a series on this please.

  • @nates9105
    @nates9105 5 років тому +1

    Funny how it looks very close to Sid Meyers Civilization: Beyond Earth, but is actually a game worth playing with better textures

  • @rojorosa
    @rojorosa 5 років тому

    I like how he panics when he thinks there raising Gabinsk and then proceeds to baptize the city in flame when trying to take it back.

  • @zachmercer1065
    @zachmercer1065 5 років тому +2

    Ah yes, my favorite unit, Big Daddy Excessive Force Dyslexia Dwarf of the Slavic Nazi Military State.
    Quality choice Vale, quality choice.

  • @carlirvinenicolas7874
    @carlirvinenicolas7874 5 років тому +2

    I feel like this is the superior Civ experience with a better combat system.

  • @unnoticed4571
    @unnoticed4571 5 років тому +1

    Time to create weapons of mass destruction, because extermination of lesser species is the only option.
    *Out of view*: "What do you mean we can't fire the RX-51 Thermonuclear missile?! Its only 950 megatons!"

  • @chris-jq1se
    @chris-jq1se 5 років тому

    LoL
    the intro alone is worth a like my friend.
    when i get this (and i AM getting this) im definitely doing an underminer build lmao

  • @brianboru9937
    @brianboru9937 5 років тому +9

    Please show us more of "THE DWARVES OF GREAT PURGE"

  • @willworkforfood7028
    @willworkforfood7028 5 років тому

    In the fantasy version of planetfall, age of wonders 3. There was a literally scorched earth ability. It was basically a city spell that immediately razed a city if it was captured by the enemy. This can be applied to cities you just captured as well. Running around capturing cities just to bait the AI into burning their own empire down is fun.

  • @brandanberg1716
    @brandanberg1716 5 років тому

    15:10
    Fields of execution turned to wasteland from the grass
    Thou shalt go no further it was said, "They shall not pass!"
    The spirit of resistance and the madness of the war
    So go ahead, face the lead, join the dead
    Though you die where you lie, never asking why

  • @Mancboy2000
    @Mancboy2000 5 років тому

    Nobody:
    Age of Wonders Planetfall: *SLAVIC SPACE DWARVES*

  • @jacobhu4431
    @jacobhu4431 5 років тому

    Our forces are victorious, *comrade valefisk.*

  • @raunopakel9360
    @raunopakel9360 4 роки тому

    Valefisk:What are those guns?
    Me:Those are flamethrower minigun arm guns havent you seen them before?

  • @AyAyRonMcDouchebag
    @AyAyRonMcDouchebag 5 років тому +3

    GAMER DESTROYED

    • @cultist_npc
      @cultist_npc 5 років тому +1

      The Chad nation is victorious.

  • @Chimneygamen
    @Chimneygamen 5 років тому

    Saw the title and i was like scorched earth, oh man this gonna be goooddd

  • @lianaeliado
    @lianaeliado 4 роки тому +1

    So...
    Essentially, the Dvar are Russian Dwarves with Power armor, Riot Gear, and Purifying Flamethrowers.
    Who decided to let The emperor Commandeer the Soviet Union?

  • @reecestiff7034
    @reecestiff7034 5 років тому

    Scorched earth you say? At first you had my interest but now you have my attention.

  • @lynnusuk2092
    @lynnusuk2092 5 років тому

    In my mind this is what the squats are doing in another timeline purging filthy xenos :’)

  • @anhduc0913
    @anhduc0913 5 років тому

    That first sentence summed up the entire game

  • @l0lLorenzol0l
    @l0lLorenzol0l 5 років тому +9

    It's like a Alpha Centaury remake, but good unlike Beyond Earth.

    • @therandomheretek5403
      @therandomheretek5403 5 років тому +1

      I didn't find beyond earth bad. It's my favorite Civ game and I still fail to understand the flak it gets.

    • @l0lLorenzol0l
      @l0lLorenzol0l 5 років тому +2

      @@therandomheretek5403 Compared to Alpha Centauri it's really underwhelming

    • @therandomheretek5403
      @therandomheretek5403 5 років тому

      @@l0lLorenzol0l I guess I'll have to check alpha centauri out.

  • @pakornwattanavrangkul2550
    @pakornwattanavrangkul2550 5 років тому +1

    9:50 Oh god, I choked there when you said you had to find good cover followed by running off the highground (which gives aim penalty for anything sooting at you from a lower elevation).

  • @Mrcool2oo3
    @Mrcool2oo3 5 років тому +4

    More soviet dwarfs please

  • @favre4ever39
    @favre4ever39 5 років тому +1

    12:12 The only good bug is a dead bug- Starship trooper needs to know more guy

  • @w.s6525
    @w.s6525 4 роки тому

    Vale: please unsubscribe
    Me: no, I don't think I will

  • @thebanditoking
    @thebanditoking 5 років тому

    Dwarven slavs are even more slavic than normal slavs because they are eternally slav squating.

  • @ghostedemu3252
    @ghostedemu3252 4 роки тому

    This reminds me of the spiffing Brit in the fact that your comedy is just like have focused on war crimes and I go into the quotes is because there can't be war crimes there's no war

  • @chaosknight9131
    @chaosknight9131 5 років тому

    I can't wait for Vale to play Empire at War and discover TIE Maulers

  • @vaguetheweird46
    @vaguetheweird46 5 років тому +2

    This gives me weird dark crusade vibes, and i dont know why.

  • @igorthelight
    @igorthelight 5 років тому

    Enemy putting everyone to sleep.
    Malganus is that you? :-)

  • @suirahplanogemo3407
    @suirahplanogemo3407 5 років тому +8

    Not exactly what “scorched earth tactics” means, but this is close enough.

  • @samuelschurman3762
    @samuelschurman3762 5 років тому

    Dude this game is sick can you make this a series? I really want to see more of this and I’m digging the commentary.

  • @mrwri
    @mrwri 5 років тому +3

    Russians? Dwarves? Future tech? Sounds like they ought to be called *Squats*

  • @shyman0128
    @shyman0128 5 років тому +2

    I hate how I got every pop/history meme you said

  • @sadpluslonely2775
    @sadpluslonely2775 2 роки тому

    "Getting flashbacks to episode 2" *Fortunate Son intensifies*

  • @strikersub1814
    @strikersub1814 5 років тому

    ok so crazy theory i think vale may be short and a psychopath as he immediately choose a short psychopath

  • @Ajvt-ux4ec
    @Ajvt-ux4ec 5 років тому +3

    3:31 THATS A JET?

  • @JohnDayguy
    @JohnDayguy 5 років тому +3

    "Standby for Planetfall"

  • @DarkSword3125
    @DarkSword3125 4 роки тому

    *Hears the word "Half-life*
    Me: "Half-Life 2 is a physics based puzzle game"

  • @johntheechidna1
    @johntheechidna1 5 років тому

    Your D'Var hero there actually reminds me of the Big Daddies from the Bioshock games.

  • @hezakighamorgan9974
    @hezakighamorgan9974 5 років тому

    3 minutes in and I was sideswiped by "A dragon! A dragon! I swear I saw a dragon!" Props if you know what that's from.