5 Guys and Too Many Wives - The CK2 Babymaking Championship

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 19 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 286

  • @NCM_Enjoyer
    @NCM_Enjoyer 5 років тому +2420

    Vale is trying to undo all his genocides and warcrimes via repopulation.

    • @alexmartin3191
      @alexmartin3191 5 років тому +79

      He must repopulate or else there is no one to commit genocide on.

    • @ChronoTriggerHappy
      @ChronoTriggerHappy 5 років тому +28

      and not by incest either. Gotta diversify (as much as having everyone have the same father :| )

    • @bradleysteltz642
      @bradleysteltz642 5 років тому +18

      Thank you so much that is a excellent idea I'm going to play as a charter that has to have a kid for each person he kills and vice versa I will keep perfect balance

    • @jacobhu4431
      @jacobhu4431 4 роки тому +3

      2000th like. I feel acomplished.

  • @brandonbrock-smith1600
    @brandonbrock-smith1600 5 років тому +855

    When you have 80 kids and have to pay child support
    Suffering From Success

  • @tobiegamer9014
    @tobiegamer9014 5 років тому +820

    Venice, the original Love Island

  • @Valefisk
    @Valefisk  5 років тому +1233

    This video is brought to you by the UA-cam Ethics Board: We're Completely Inept

    • @l0lLorenzol0l
      @l0lLorenzol0l 5 років тому +50

      THΞ MΛLΞ FΛNTΛSY

    • @snipeyboi5934
      @snipeyboi5934 5 років тому +11

      yeah just like your case at The Hague vale

    • @sorcererberoll4641
      @sorcererberoll4641 5 років тому +6

      Valefisk please do more videos with these people

    • @seunghakkhun324
      @seunghakkhun324 5 років тому

      now where have i seen this before?

    • @Airburn1507
      @Airburn1507 5 років тому +4

      Vale this wasn't prasing satan it was praising slannesh mah dude.

  • @aciarduce
    @aciarduce 5 років тому +714

    "Does anyone have any sisters?"
    "Yeah but I'M using them...."
    xD

  • @NovelPond
    @NovelPond 5 років тому +1459

    When you Think about it. This is exactly what happends in an elderly home. When the oldest person die everyone steals his lovers. And so on

    • @OctavioMovies
      @OctavioMovies 5 років тому +129

      I didnt know that you were an expert on elderly home lore Novel

    • @NovelPond
      @NovelPond 5 років тому +215

      @@OctavioMovies you call it a elderly home. i call it a brothel

    • @mikeoxsmal8022
      @mikeoxsmal8022 5 років тому +80

      @@NovelPond r/cursedcomments

    • @JohnDoe-or2qg
      @JohnDoe-or2qg 5 років тому +16

      The good traditions must be kept alive.

    • @stygian8049
      @stygian8049 4 роки тому +6

      How to unsee a comment

  • @LordZaxom
    @LordZaxom 5 років тому +413

    The worst part is, this isn't even that far off from actual Venice at the time

    • @ArmorFrogEntertainment
      @ArmorFrogEntertainment 5 років тому +49

      Renaissance Venice was just a giant fuckfest

    • @thallan
      @thallan 5 років тому +5

      It's VENEZIA

    • @ArmorFrogEntertainment
      @ArmorFrogEntertainment 5 років тому +31

      @@thallan are you one of those people who doesn't believe in using linguistic variants of place names?

    • @BidiguiloChefao
      @BidiguiloChefao 5 років тому +12

      ArmorFrog Entertainment that was probably a jojo reference

    • @samaustin339
      @samaustin339 5 років тому +7

      Are you suggesting Venice isn’t Still like this?

  • @Hesstig
    @Hesstig 5 років тому +612

    >not playing a religion that lets you have concubines/extra wives

  • @hotdogfingerz9674
    @hotdogfingerz9674 5 років тому +542

    When are you committing war crimes in Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga? I heard that Yoda death sound so no excuses

    • @ManOfSemantics
      @ManOfSemantics 5 років тому +8

      HotDogFingerz He used it in the most recent Minecraft video, and it is art.

  • @jonathanlee4511
    @jonathanlee4511 5 років тому +423

    This episode makes me think of a poem written by a Chinese warlord by the name of Zhang Zongchang:
    “Untitled”
    Someone asks me how many women I have
    I really don’t know either
    Yesterday a boy called me ‘dad’
    I don’t know who his mother is

    • @bonogiamboni4830
      @bonogiamboni4830 4 роки тому +38

      What an absolute madlad.

    • @Jsay18
      @Jsay18 4 роки тому +26

      The Based Dogmeat General

    • @jonathanlee4511
      @jonathanlee4511 4 роки тому +3

      Yessir

    • @gavins9846
      @gavins9846 4 роки тому +20

      At that point he can start raising armies from his own family. For the.. Fatherland! Literally!

    • @dheemantanil
      @dheemantanil 2 роки тому +10

      Chinese warlord era is extremely confusing and underrated

  • @JigsawLV
    @JigsawLV 5 років тому +168

    "I have never met any of my children" - Valefisk, 2019

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 років тому +6

      Damn you Karen

    • @hazydoom69
      @hazydoom69 5 років тому +7

      When your children count for half of Venice that's quite the achievement.

  • @jonahwiegand827
    @jonahwiegand827 5 років тому +416

    *Ck2 player sees other people play their game*
    Ah men of culture!

  • @quinnamations9715
    @quinnamations9715 5 років тому +271

    “Looking for Female”
    -Valefisk 2019

  • @thorianvan1582
    @thorianvan1582 5 років тому +180

    Once had a game were I was trying to make a massive family starting at the viking age. I got immortal with my first character and he lived to the end of the game, my living members by the end of it were around 1500

    • @sephikong8323
      @sephikong8323 5 років тому +30

      This dynasty caused lag by itself

    • @maleexile9053
      @maleexile9053 2 роки тому +4

      My immortal charecter literally became Darth Sion lol

  • @taabgamez2476
    @taabgamez2476 5 років тому +308

    Brought you by discord claimed by Genghis Khan

  • @quiteindeed6809
    @quiteindeed6809 5 років тому +90

    "Sorry i'm using them."
    Best line ever.

  • @Volvith
    @Volvith 5 років тому +70

    A man walks into a bar with a 1911A1, loaded with 4 rounds, and yells: "WHO THE FUCK HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE."
    Valefisk and his friends reply: "Don't know, none of us really pay attention anymore, but you might need more bullets."

  • @Zimirrr
    @Zimirrr 5 років тому +117

    The desperate house wives of venice

  • @CasualKiwiYGO
    @CasualKiwiYGO 5 років тому +38

    Cannibalizing your lover gives new meaning to 'a midnight snack'

    • @NeonBeeCat
      @NeonBeeCat Рік тому +5

      This reads like a Cards Against Humanity result.

  • @luxaeterna101
    @luxaeterna101 5 років тому +106

    Enrico Dandolo's (the 41st doge, responsible for the fourth crusade) surname literally means "giving it" in Italian. Quite fitting indeed.

  • @SentryWill
    @SentryWill 5 років тому +186

    When you try and compete with China for population size

  • @ZKP314
    @ZKP314 5 років тому +76

    Italian man and his gang founds the Hapsburg Dynasty, circa 800AD, colorized.

    • @sephikong8323
      @sephikong8323 5 років тому +8

      Nah its the anti habsburg where no kid is related to one another

  • @Crick1952
    @Crick1952 5 років тому +57

    When you play Venice with both the Austrian and Mongol strategies
    *Modern problems require modern solutions*

  • @boomboy8104
    @boomboy8104 5 років тому +42

    Venice has become the kingdom of Slamalot, ruled by the Biggus Diccus dynasty.

  • @izanagino-okami8221
    @izanagino-okami8221 5 років тому +12

    Child: *dies*
    Valefish: *chuckles* YOU FOOL, I HAVE 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS

  • @Hexmonkey
    @Hexmonkey 5 років тому +72

    “Does anyone have any sister?”
    “Yes but I’m using them.”

  • @baz5042
    @baz5042 5 років тому +140

    Ah, that’s hot...that’s hot!!

  • @anthonyaurel6001
    @anthonyaurel6001 5 років тому +8

    12:02 'DUDE YOU ARE BANGING MY HALF-SISTER. Oh, I am gonna do it as well' I am fucking dying here.

  • @angellolzz5192
    @angellolzz5192 5 років тому +49

    You can’t resist BIG MIKE

  • @th3highwayman
    @th3highwayman 5 років тому +54

    It appears that Valefisk is turning into Genghis Khan.

  • @lotrdude13
    @lotrdude13 5 років тому +13

    A horse became Novel's court physician... nice. Honestly though it might not have been Novel, I kinda got confused as to who everyone was, but still, the horse becoming a court physician, that's hilarious.

    • @NovelPond
      @NovelPond 5 років тому +3

      best thing is i didn't even notice

  • @redrexi
    @redrexi 5 років тому +36

    Well, they say Venice is the city of love for a reason.

  • @kevintrang3007
    @kevintrang3007 5 років тому +13

    Vidi, Vici, Veni - I saw, I conquered, I *came*

  • @derpflinigan9490
    @derpflinigan9490 5 років тому +22

    Really brings a whole new meaning to "Merchant of Venice" huh

  • @elsasslotharingen7507
    @elsasslotharingen7507 5 років тому +11

    13:49 **waves hand **
    These are not my children

  • @Solll0
    @Solll0 5 років тому +67

    It's good to be the king

    • @maleexile9053
      @maleexile9053 4 роки тому +1

      Its good to be chief

    • @202mc4
      @202mc4 4 роки тому +1

      @@maleexile9053 It's good to be the emperor.

  • @ronkledonkanusmoncher564
    @ronkledonkanusmoncher564 5 років тому +13

    “What? No! I mean we never said we can’t kill our children...”

  • @anthonyromanelli1392
    @anthonyromanelli1392 5 років тому +19

    I love these CK2 challenges so much! I discovered your channel through the Incest Challenge. Please do more of these kinds of meme videos, either single- or mutliplayer!

  • @wendevious7809
    @wendevious7809 5 років тому +9

    The accidental political power they amassed made this all the better. The unknowing. Accidental. Political power.

  • @StiveGuy
    @StiveGuy 5 років тому +37

    7 kids at 22, sounds like my step brother.

  • @JohnDoe-or2qg
    @JohnDoe-or2qg 5 років тому +17

    Nobody:
    Valefisk: I'm affraid of the effect I have on women.

  • @zymon_dc
    @zymon_dc 5 років тому +8

    The Geneva Convention has long been disconnected from server.
    Explicit War Crimes has entered the server.

  • @itchykami
    @itchykami 5 років тому +14

    This makes me wonder if you can make a dynasty so prolific that every other dynasty quickly becomes related to you.

  • @khurelbatbayanbat7913
    @khurelbatbayanbat7913 5 років тому +8

    This is basically the Hapsburgs 2- electric boogaloo

  • @matminecraft01
    @matminecraft01 5 років тому +37

    MORE WIVES YOUR GRACE?

    • @viracocha6093
      @viracocha6093 5 років тому +4

      “MORE WIVES YOUR GRACE?” -Arabs

  • @diepie5144
    @diepie5144 5 років тому +11

    get every CKII UA-camr and start at the beginning of the game, see if you all can do what the Hapsburgs could not and create a universal dynastry

  • @Caulderain
    @Caulderain 5 років тому +11

    The new Habsburg simlulator looks sick

  • @against1virus
    @against1virus 5 років тому +13

    Horse M.D the sequel to House M.D

  • @kaspernyberg
    @kaspernyberg 5 років тому +6

    Another great video from Vale"It sucks to be gay"fisk

  • @ColeTrainStudio
    @ColeTrainStudio 5 років тому +5

    Veni, vidi, vici?
    More like veni, veni, veni.

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 років тому +2

      I came, I came again, and I came

  • @holycrusader3838
    @holycrusader3838 5 років тому +13

    Come to the city of Venice you will see more prositutes than in Amsterdam and it's much more of a love city than Paris

  • @aisir3725
    @aisir3725 5 років тому +43

    Sounds like idea for hentai/harem anime

  • @spartan1503
    @spartan1503 5 років тому +8

    They are following the footsteps of Genghis khan i see

  • @dr.vikyll7466
    @dr.vikyll7466 5 років тому +10

    Venice, the city of Sin

  • @DonutWalrus
    @DonutWalrus 2 роки тому +1

    This started as who can be the biggest Chad and devolved into who can become the state of Alabama quickest

  • @xLionsxxSmithyx
    @xLionsxxSmithyx 5 років тому +5

    Meanwhile My character became an immortal and lost his Peepee while duelling a rival king on the battlefield... the Rival king Died, my immortal survived but losing my Peepee in battle is worse than death... He's not even aloud to get married because of it.

  • @voughklry8362
    @voughklry8362 4 роки тому +3

    It’s like watching 5 different genghis khan

  • @isaacshultz8128
    @isaacshultz8128 5 років тому +8

    "I just ate my lover"
    Hmm kinky

  • @kirillp.4630
    @kirillp.4630 5 років тому +3

    And thats how Paradox implemented a court limit

  • @TheLOL_11
    @TheLOL_11 5 років тому +18

    Women just love me, you know?

  • @snipeyboi5934
    @snipeyboi5934 5 років тому +2

    That court is basically a episode of desperate housewives.

  • @jarjab2games
    @jarjab2games 5 років тому +10

    There were some guys in my highschool that did the same thing y'all did in this video. Except they did it irl.
    Not as good of an idea, that one.

  • @Bary_McCokner
    @Bary_McCokner Рік тому

    The subtle thumbnail: "I saw, I conquered, I came."

  • @nickparka7981
    @nickparka7981 5 років тому +8

    I'm calling CPS

  • @dasamont8274
    @dasamont8274 12 днів тому

    I've heard of the "Greater Seattle Polycule", but this is ridiculous!

  • @danieltsiprun8080
    @danieltsiprun8080 5 років тому +1

    Vale voice tiger 1 in bokoens oanzermedalsbstream the perfect war crime machine for the perfect criminal.

  • @TicoHyuuga
    @TicoHyuuga 3 роки тому

    "why are you a homosexual?"
    "cause I had the opportunity..."

  • @koyba3747
    @koyba3747 5 років тому +5

    An Italian with a Muslim, sounds like a sitcom

  • @ubershrimp69
    @ubershrimp69 5 років тому +1

    “What are you doing step bro??”

  • @nighthawk72j80
    @nighthawk72j80 5 років тому +1

    Alcibiades would be proud of all of you.

  • @edmjohan100
    @edmjohan100 5 років тому +5

    Austria and the mongol empire combined.

  • @Clasteau
    @Clasteau 3 місяці тому +1

    @3:23 So was he saying it had to be at a medium pace?

  • @elharv4540
    @elharv4540 5 років тому +1

    Walder Frey part 2: Medieval Boogaloo.

  • @brandontorres9601
    @brandontorres9601 5 років тому +1

    I appreciate the subtle Monty Python references

  • @elisnystrom2068
    @elisnystrom2068 5 років тому +1

    The inspiration for the hapsburgs so beutiful

  • @MrShadowtruth
    @MrShadowtruth 5 років тому +1

    Holy shit this beats any deadly decedant court out of the water like holy shit.

  • @mredwardgibbon
    @mredwardgibbon 5 років тому +2

    2:37 - He's getting them from Zagreb

  • @funster0691
    @funster0691 5 років тому +4

    I loved it it was hilarious. anyway back to the true reason I wanted to post this comment. I have and idea that might be fun to play Essentially you try to marry into every single royal Family then try to get that relative in to the position of power instead of whoever they married and that's it. and if you want some kind of contest you could get some other people to play with you and then see who can marry into the most royal families. Oh and one more thing although I have never played crusader kings II and my only real experience i have is a small series of videos that I watched like 2 years ago and this. I think there is a way to use family numbers that are married into a royal families to take over the countries now you could use this to add a bit more I guess flair to the contest by seeing who can take over the most countries in one session. now all of the information I just said what is this from those videos I watched like two years ago that I can barely remember so none of this might be true but it could be a cool contest if it was true or something you could just play on your own to get a laugh out of kind bullshit your family can get married into

  • @lukecasey2830
    @lukecasey2830 5 років тому +1

    So this is the genghis khan challenge

  • @NCM_Enjoyer
    @NCM_Enjoyer 5 років тому +1

    6:38 Vale "there is no society" Thatcher

  • @Liuhuayue
    @Liuhuayue 5 років тому +1

    0:04 Those are awfully masculine women you got there.

  • @imperatormaximus8952
    @imperatormaximus8952 5 років тому +3

    How about you make the Carolingians go extinct with your own dynasty?

  • @nickl5640
    @nickl5640 5 років тому +3

    Another quality video I see

  • @lubiejazz2220
    @lubiejazz2220 5 років тому +1

    A game for the whole family

  • @kekero540
    @kekero540 5 років тому +2

    Next time play as a ironborn in The Agot mod. You can have like 30 salt wives.

  • @thetrexgaming901
    @thetrexgaming901 5 років тому

    Y'know Vale, this is just an average day in Old Europe

  • @_yerf
    @_yerf 5 років тому

    Imagine living as one of these characters
    Day and fucking night
    Day and *fucking* night

  • @Skiltra
    @Skiltra 5 років тому +1

    i had 356 children once i had at least one child in every kingdom also when you have to many children you dont really care about them.

  • @theloganpresley
    @theloganpresley 5 років тому

    Welcome to our mighty Swingdom.

  • @maleexile9053
    @maleexile9053 4 роки тому

    Charlemagne sees the 5 guys
    Breathes heavily intensfy

  • @TheGribblesnitch
    @TheGribblesnitch 5 років тому +14

    wow of course you made it unlisted

    • @Midnight-wh2bs
      @Midnight-wh2bs 5 років тому +3

      All of his videos are unlisted, at least initially. He makes them unlisted and posts the link in discord and then makes the video public sometime later.

  • @Red19487
    @Red19487 5 років тому +1

    Well goddamn Valefisk

  • @killzone3fm
    @killzone3fm 5 років тому +9

    Very epic man. Luckily child support is not created in that period of time

  • @patrickbest4575
    @patrickbest4575 5 років тому +1

    The ultimate Eskimo bros.

  • @hedylamar1668
    @hedylamar1668 5 років тому

    Vale, you know when you did CoH Omaha beach map and got owned? Don't feel a failure - I did it under the same conditions and it took FOUR hours. I could have learnt swears in every foreign language in that time!

  • @sanguillotine
    @sanguillotine 5 років тому +1

    Should’ve done a pagan or muslin country so you could have concubines/multiple wives too

  • @mpspenguin2
    @mpspenguin2 5 років тому +4

    did you ban present debutante or just not know it was a button you can press?

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 років тому +2

      It's just a waste of gold sometimes

    • @Crick1952
      @Crick1952 5 років тому

      Attributes are pretty generic.
      Especially since they're in multiplayer seducing in-game women is more fun 😈

  • @mafiacat88
    @mafiacat88 5 років тому

    I mean to be fair its how many kids you could have, not how many you could keep alive.

  • @grahambo09
    @grahambo09 4 роки тому

    We need this in CK3 now.

  • @scifimisc9191
    @scifimisc9191 5 років тому +1

    Should have put a no murder rule in, that kind of killed the fun of it at the start there for that bit. Otherwise great