5 Former Alienated Kids TELL ALL (Q & A)
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- 5 child survivors of parental alienation answer YOUR most commonly asked questions, including what are the biggest misconceptions about alienated kids? What is the most important thing for people to know about parental alienation? And if your alienator were here, what would you say?
Don’t miss this riveting episode. Premieres Monday, October 30th at 6 PM MST-- join the discussion in the LIVE chat!
Welcome to The Anti-Alienation Project, where I discuss all things parental alienation from the POV of an adult child who's been through it. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm that glad you're here:)
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As a Family Law Attorney for 22 years & 42 years of experience in this field, I have seen parental alienation & the long term effects of its damage. We MUST come up with solutions that courts enforce. I personally think the most effective solution would be to place the child with the alienated parent 100% for at least 2 months with no contact. That will show the alienating parent to see how it feels & allow the child to have a space to begin to think for themselves without the influence of the manipulative parent.
The hard part is getting the courts to see this is even a possibility. GALS and court appointed children’s attorneys are absolutely unqualified and inept at their job. Most don’t care but see it as a way to get some guaranteed billable hours from the state or their colleagues. I’ve never met one who actually had a clue about alienation. A lot of attorneys know their clients are abusive but will still help that legally abuse the ex. You should be required to have special training to work in family. Do you know how many times I’ve seen family relations/court apt mediators have the kids come in and pick a parent because they are 14 and old enough. Crazy. The system is so broken.
Haven’t seen my son in 5 years
My wife and I were having problems last year and I saw my wife alienating my children from me then with help from her church. She lied to the church claiming abuse and despite me showing facts that she was lying, they still supported her. She had zero evidence for ANY allegation that she made yet they believed her despite me showing the truth. This only enabled her more.
Then she falsely accused me of domestic assault and had me arrested and the courts gave her complete control of the kids and gave her a protection order against me. I filed for divorce. It took her only six months to alienate my children from me and I've been a devoted father for 16 years. This is the most horrific thing I've ever been through.
We got a GAL involved who sees the light and we filed temporary motions where we exposed many of her lies. The court and the GAL agrees that my wife has been alienating them from me but she doesn't even get a slap on the wrist. There's no consequence for her vindictive behavior. I got put in jail for something I didn't do and she is emotionally abusing our children and she's allowed to continue. The light at the end of the tunnel is that we have a therapist involved with the kids and the courts agreed that I deserve 50/50 custody and we're slowly working into it. The worst kind of hurt through this is that my children now look at me like I'm garbage. They won't even say I love you anymore.
My ex-son-in-law abducted my granddaughter at age 12 (tried to take the 14 year old son but the son fought back). He alienated my granddaughter from her mother (my daughter), with help from a very toxic new wife (moved in with her within weeks of meeting her and his separation from my daughter). We’ve spent close to $100,000 and the courts are still trying to decide what’s “not working” in this family…
Really!??!?
We came with volumes of evidence,…
And we have a “control group” of sorts: these kids grew up in the same house for the first 12 and 14 years of their lives. One was abducted and alienated and is currently struggling psychologically and in school while the one who remained with the targeted parent is thriving.
Why are the courts continuing to ask asinine questions about what’s in these kids best interests!??!?!? 😡
Oh - and the alienating father, with continued help from the toxic new wife (& her family) turned his back on his son; his first born child.
Alienators are toxic, mentally ill and destructive people.
28:49 "if a child is severely rejecting a parent it is most likely alienation.
Parents are not rejected for abuse the way alienated parents are rejected by their children. "
This is key
It took me until 2020 to learn about parental alienation. Up until then, I was absolutely devastated b/c I’ve seen abusive parents still having a relationship w/their children and couldn’t wrap my head around why my children were rejecting me🥲
I did look for that comment.
The children who are abused if young they'll still love their abuser to some extend.
The alienated child is the therapist for the alienator.
Just imagine what type of negative effect it has on developing brain in a child's mind when they face so many emotional, negative outburst of information they don't even understand.
they cannot write or read properly but already absorbing knowledge even an adults cannot handle.
It's so f scary😱
It's more nuanced than this I think. I'm stubborn intuitive and sensitive. There's no way anyone can convince me of anything if I don't experience it.
My ex has been actively alienating me from my daughter for 3.5 years now. I’ve been fighting like crazy in court this entire time trying to get my daughter some help. It seems like the entire system is against me (Utah). As soon as you say parental alienation everyone (judges, GAL, therapists) think you’re a crazy person. Over the last 3.5 years I gathered more and more evidence of her abuse (admissions in depositions, emails, text messages, recordings) all proving the alienation. After all this everyone still just looks the other way or even worse try to make me look like a vindictive hack. It’s the mist hellish thing I’ve ever experienced in my life to see your own child destroyed right in front of you while all the “professionals” support the abuser.
They GROOM CHILDREN FOR A TAKE OVER IN GOVERNMENT, LOOK AT THE PICK POCKETS IN War STRICKEN NATIONS, PROBLEMS LIE STEAL CHEAT TO TAKE PROPERTY, IF WE DONT DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, ANERICA IS IN TRUOBLE
My x actually threatened to kill my daughter, the police took her to jail, she was doctor diagnosed with bi polar 1 w/ psychic breaks from reality.
3 years later she filed for divorce, took my house, 1/2 my retirement, and my kids. Its been over 5 years since I have had any communication with my kids.
If I even brought up anything about my X's metal health or threats on my childs life, I was the abuser!! And all the police paper work was "hear say" to the courts - get used to it. Family courts are designed to separate YOU from your money and they use your love for your kids to do it!!! You can not negotiate with terrorist's
Seeing my son deteriorating is painful. Thank you for saying that. I’m going through it right now.
Thinking of you. We are 12 years in (UK). It was ONLY through our recordings, texts, diarising everything as well as finally a forensic psych assessment of all parties that found alienation. Despite this, the courts did nothing. Social services were told to reunify the children to their father. It was ordered. They didn’t. It’s been another three years since then. The alienation continues. I’m so forever sorry you’re experiencing this. You’re not alone.
I’m at 2.5 years without my 3 kids, against the custody order. the court appointed psychologists (5) and the GAL reported severe alienation with one psychologist and the GAL saying abuse. It has been a month since the trial and the testimonies were even more harsh against my wife. I’m supposed to be with my kids now and they are still ignoring my calls and my ex is still ignoring another court order. This can’t end if the orders are not enforced
This abuse needs to be acknowledged by the systems and SEEN.
The system is the abuser
Think about it.
Alienators bring the ammo
The system fires the weapon
The system does see it. There are laws to punish it. Nothing is done about it.
@@ds29912I don’t think they really see or understand ir.
they do know.
Maybe they're worried about the push back.
When a women does that, they can justify their decision as the right one at the time.
That's so many of them don't face repercussions.
Tuning into you all the way from New Zealand. Parental Alienation is a world wide problem that affects millions. Thank you.
Madison and alienated parents: I want to share a beautiful full circle moment. My alienated son attempted suicide while I was away at an industry conference in 2012. Last night he FaceTimed me from that SAME industry conference with two friends and business peers of mine to say hi (I am no longer working in the industry, but he is). One of the women on the FaceTime call was the person I went to when I learned of his attempt and comforted me while I fell apart and until I could find a way to get back to our town. He doesn’t know any of that story, but she and I will never forget it. To see them together was such a surreal and full circle moment for me (and probably her!). Don’t give up hope!!!! Keep loving your children unconditionally and showing up with no malice, anger or resentment. Your light could help shine the light on the truth. ❤❤❤
❤
I really wish there was an interview with someone who was alienated from their MOTHER, not just people who were alienated from their fathers. Or had a step parent being the Alienator. It's not only bio Moms who are Alienators.
I understand. We only have 2 people who were alienated from their moms in the support group, and neither want to speak out publicly. If a child survivor who was alienated from their mom wanted to share their story, I would HAPPILY interview them.
OK. Well, I am the Mom who was alienated. I know my child would not be interested in speaking publicly about this. I know there ARE other moms out there who suffered through this; I know them personally. And I've read stories and chatted with some Mothers
who had the new Step Mother as the Alienator. A different twist. @@TheAnti-AlienationProject
Yes, it’s not a gendered issue. Anyone with a pulse can alienate. I’m just saying, I haven’t had a child survivor want to speak publicly who was alienated from their mom. I know it happens all the time. But it’s rare that these kids figure it out and want to speak out in the first place. I’m not picking and choosing between people who I interview. I hope this makes sense.@@carriebriggs6286
I'm wondering if Alienated adult children listened to some interviews from Alienated parents, would it make them stop and think - - think about the possibility that what they have been told is simply NOT true? If the adult children listened to the PAIN and the HURT in these parent interviews - - would it help them try to be closer to their parent?
Here! I was alienated by my father from my mother.
I would like to say, that out of all the channels I follow on UA-cam, this is by far the most important one. I watch this channel from the perspective of the alienated parent. I feel that you all are the future voice of my 5 year old daughter who, so far, has been brainwashed and alienated from me for the last 2 years. It’s extremely difficult for me considering the court battle but this channel gives me hope. Thank you for your channel. It means more to me than you know.
Oh my gosh. You’re gonna make me cry. Thank you so much for saying that
As an alienated child, it’s my life mission now to help other alienated kids learn the truth and heal. I am so heartbroken this continues to happen, but I’m so hopeful for the younger generation with this channel and resources
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectSame. Alienated parent here. The fun parent. 😢
@@noeldelarosa_ph Disney Dad as it's known. You have my empathy. So many of us are on different points down the path. The numbers of those affected by parental alienation, and the family court system that encourages it, allows it, and makes lots of money of it is staggering.
The Disney Dad WAS the alienator!!! They lived with me. I'm the one who did all the hard work of raising them while he was the fun parent and their "friend". So I had to be the one to teach them morals and ethics and values and do school and all the real life stuff. It was used against me horribly. Not to mention being constantly triggered by his covert narcissistic abuse towards me that continued until our contact stopped. My kids are 27 and almost 26. They were 2 and 3 when I separated from the ex. He made it his mission to make my life a living hell from the moment I told him for the second time that I wanted a divorce and he knew he wouldn't change my mind again. One of the best days of my life is when the child support payments stopped because he no longer had any excuse to contact me. It was after that that I finally learned about covert narcissism and all the puzzle pieces of my experiences with him over the prior 25 or so years FINALLY fell into place. I had the puzzle pieces the whole time but I didn't know what the picture was supposed to be! I finally had a more heart to heart conversation with my older child a couple weeks ago and actually brought up parental alienation. I'm not sure if she believes me. But she FINALLY admitted what I've KNOWN the whole time but they always told me wasn't true. Their dad talks HORRIBLY about me TO THIS DAY! I don't even know how to recover from this. My son DOES hate me. He's told me many times. Plus my son barely tolerates me unless he wants something from me. It breaks my heart. Their dad LITERALLY didn't want them. He was pissed when we found out I was pregnant with the oldest. *I* cried when we found out about the second because I was utterly blindsided and it felt way too soon and I knew I'd have to go through pregnancy (which was really difficult the first time) with an emotionally unavailable partner again. But I *wanted* all of my children. The ex only decided to have anything to do with them when he realized he could use them to hurt me. And he did in spectacular fashion. And he still does.😭
This is definitely a trigger for parents that have been through this. The system is obviously broken and it seems to be such an easy fix by holding abusers accountable. This should never be happening.
The alienating parents are usually narcissistic. And since most lawyers and judges are also narcissistic, they see the real targeted parent as being different than them, so they think the abuser is normal.
They are destroying the child and the relationship with the safe parent who had a secure attachment.
Once they've made this error, I doubt they will ever reverse their previous ruling or admit they made mistakes and annihilated families and caused generations of psychological harm I wonder how many targeted parents take their own lives? And if they do, the abuser will use that to prove that you were crazy.
No. We actually care about our children. But the system is rigged against us
System all about money.
Maddie, my Dad facetimed me in the weekend. First time we have seen each other or talked in 29 years!! We talked for 2 hours! He's now am old man and I hate that so many years are lost to this. Now just have to work on my partners two kids and make them see the light. Thanks for all the knowledge you bring and insights. ❤
I was initially alienated from my children immediately after separating from their mother. I won a court order detailing contact rights which took a year, and was gradually rebuilding our relationship whilst attempting to build their self esteem and limit the damage her continued negativity and poison created, whilst knowing it was only a matter of time before they were convinced to reject me. In the summer she made our 10 year old son lie to reject further contact, and our 5 year old daughter lost that as a consequence. I've spent thousands with lawyers to see what I can do, and their advice has been that if I pursue an enforcement of the court order I would win, but their mother would be even more poisonous, controlling and manipulative, and it would only be a matter of time before she prevents them seeing me again. I think this would be even more damaging to them. I have to trust that in time they will want to see me and I have to make sure when they do they see how much I love them, how much I've wanted them, and that I'm all in to help them find peace from this abuse. Thank you for this video, I'm having a tough day, to have the insight of these brave women has given me strength.
Courts supporting NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR TO PICK PICKET AMERICAN CITIZENS 🎬IS UNCIVIL ❤STAND BY STAY TUNED
Hang in there❤SPILL THE BEANS
At 29:00 JR said "parents aren't rejected for abuse the way alienated parents are rejected." Actually, it goes deeper than that.
If you speak with a child who was really abused and is in foster care, and you ask him what he wants most, he will say "I want to go home." "Home" means back to the abusive parents. Why would the child want this? Because, to that child, the abusive household is "normalcy," and he knows how to survive in that environment.
Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is. If the alienated child truly does not love or want to be with the alienated parent, he wouldn't express hate. He will just not care about that parent at all.
Great argument. I'm not an alienated alienated person but came from an abusive family of origin. I don't feel the need to speak to my parents and feel no emotion about that. My husband is an alienated father and his kids spu so much hate at him.
28:42 "I don't think that a child should be enabled to cut off their parent, the same way they would choose to, stop going to a doctor..... " 📌🕯️
@@niroshangovinder4042. THIS!
Yes True
it's funny or devastating.
all of their cases come from false allegations of abuse.
Why I'm not surprised.
The problem is even if you catch them in a lie , they continue to receive a special treatment of beign primary carer for the kid.
These outcomes with the court system not really being interested in the real problem, is sadly very common. Many fathers I work with, do need help to navigate this whole scenario and often times they already lost time and money, following wrong advice from therapists, counselors and lawyers. The truth is that most professionals know nothing about parental alienation.
I relate so much to JR’s story! I’m 48 and just finally received confirmation that I was alienated from my dad and now being alienated by my step-children and even my own children. The generational effects of this are devastating!! I pray we all are breaking these generational curses as we speak up against it.
Thank you all. Here for support. Here to listen. Here to learn. Here to do all I can to help this greater community to grow. Thank you for your intelligence and your courage. 💪
You rock! Much appreciated 🤍
In Berks County PA, I discussed with a child therapist about the alienation of my children from me, the father. The local courts considered him the top of his field. He told me that in twenty years, he had only seen the courts act TWO times against a parent alienating children.
Yes, parental alienation is a real thing and it must be designed by the devil himself.
God bless the victims. God loves you (sometimes God is alienated too). Thank you for this video.
It’s a sad and beautiful irony: that our Father in heaven has promised us eternal life, that is loving and merciful despite our flaws and wants us to have a relationship with Him and yet (just like our own children) we fail to believe in Him and His love. May our hardships bring out the best in us, build our faith to trust our loving Father and give us the courage to keep seeking the truth amidst our pain. We’re not alone, we’re all in this together.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this content 🏴❤️🙏☹️
Thanks so much!! I’m glad you find value in it:)
Same. Same. Same.
These videos help us, so many of us need to hear this. Thank you!! I’m alienated and my oldest son hates me. I haven’t had time with him for over 3 years. He moved out of dads now that he is 18 so I’m praying someone can help him. Bring awareness and keep fighting this horrible pandemic!!
He probably doesn't actually hate you. Very good news that he moved out!
I pray that my kids will come around and see the light someday. Especially my first child. I don't have much hope that it will though. Thank you for your honesty.
You all are special.
This video is AMAZING! Thank you to all of you for participating and answering such important questions. Thank you Madi and all of you for fighting on behalf of my 26-year-old son who’s been alienated from his loving mama now for 7 1/2 years. I have no expectations, but you all give me hope that some day (hopefully, I’m STILL alive as I’m 63-years-old) my son and I can build a new relationship. The hardest part about all of this is KNOWING how much this is all hurting my son and feeling helpless. It feels like he’s drowning in a lake, there’s no life preserver and I’m just standing on the shore watching him drown. That being said, I will continue to love him deeply and I will continue to send letters and gifts every month (hoping he’s getting them) expressing that love and understanding. I will continue to post loving posts on Facebook to my beautiful, intelligent, goofy and very dear son. I have NOTHING, but empathy for him, what he’s going through and what he continues to go through. Please let me know how I can help to get the word about alienation out there. Perhaps, through the work that you’re doing, some of these beautiful kids, young and old, may stumble upon this VERY NEEDED information and have their “aha” moment. Thank you, thank you, thank you for ALL that you do, Madi. Everything you’ve done and continue to do makes a HUGE difference. ❤
I actually write in a journal to my daughter and plan on giving it to her when she graduates in 5 months. She'll be able to see proof of days and times I definitely thought about her.
This is beautiful
I'm 43 and am just now hearing this term. My mom did this to me with my dad, my dad's family, etc ....and they weren't even divorced. They are still married! Now she's alienating everyone else against ME, including my dad, which really pulled the rug out from under me emotionally. I've been on a journey of learning and trying to heal for about 8 years now. Still a work in progress. Thank you for this video. ❤
Excellent Testimony ❤
Your stories are so heartbreaking. 😟
They are also very brutal!
I admire your courage to face, and share your stories. 💪
YOUR voices are SO important in combating this pathology!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMITMENT!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Warm hugs from Stockholm, Sweden 🤗❤
Thank you so much!
I married a narcissist at the age of 18 who was 12 years my senior. After divorce, My ex-husband and his mother and family, absolutely berated me and tore me apart over custody battle and for decades fed false beliefs to my only son.
I cannot fully detail how painful this has been, for me but more importantly for him. I was deprived of raising my only child and today it is clear how it affected his character formation and his inability to regulate emotions. Repeating the whole cycle again.
I was made to be an awful and despicable person, and they told him that i abandoned him. He was only 9 years old and believed everything they told him.
Today after about 20 years, we speak only very superficially, he was 33 when he started questioning the situation.
Sorry to report, it is too late. He is 35 years now, and never developed to his full potential.
I still cry every single day. when I realize the abuse and injustice. I love my son, every single day since he was born. The mistake was to fall in love with the wrong kind of man, and still pay for this blunder to this day.
Family court is a billion dollar industry annually That says it all.
I’m a parent with an 8 year old son. I’ve been alienated since he was a toddler. I’ve been made to feel crazy, like being told if I was a “good dad” then it wouldn’t be able to get alienated. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you Madi - and thanks to the other survivors. Thank you for your openness and authenticity. 💕💕💕💕💕
you’re so welcome!! Thanks for your support
You are doing amazing spiritual work ! I cannot thank you enough for helping me and so many others. I am helping an old friend attempt to reconnect w his daughter who was alienated from him. She is in college.
Thankfully, I found you and have been sharing your links , since you are the BEST I have found on this topic. I admire your strength and heart . You are a true warrior , Maddie.
@@michellelively202I agree!! But I think you replied to my comment, not Madi’s!
Thank you for the great work you guys are doing. My son gets viciously abused to hate me. It is horrifying! He is ten and we listen to these talks and it means soooo much.
Great job Madi! Compliments to all 5 of you Ladies from parents (mostly fathers) united in NGO DOOR. We are going to use your video to promote awareness of alienation among Slovenian children who are victims of alienation. Our goal is also to achieve a change in legislation in order to reduce the possibility of alienation during divorce proceedings in the future. Thank you!
Hi! Can't wait to listen! I really hope that you can make a dent in this money business ❤
I hope so too!
My young son (who I raised alone until he was 5) turned on me virtually overnight by my narcissistic ex husband. I’ve tried therapy, years of court, security cameras which captured the coaching, etc - to no avail. No one believes me. I’ve never known a heartache like this. It feels like I’m mourning my son, who is now 10. I truly don’t know how I’m going to live without my son emotionally or physically. I want the alienated children to know that they are so so incredibly loved and I hope you can see through the fog of narc abuse one day. 🙏 It’s a train wreck for everyone except the alienator / narcissist.
Thank you, Maddie, this is the future. I hope you can reach out to hundreds of alienated children and change the world that way.
😢this makes me so sad.im crying. I miss my girl so much.
This was so revealing - thank you. I just wish the panel was more balanced and included adult children whose father alienated the mother.
I’d love to include people alienated from their moms too! Unfortunately all but 1 or 2 in our group were alienated from dads
Yup, I’m one of those moms. Both my mother and ex worked insidiously behind my back in alienating them from me. I can’t even bring it up to my children or I’m immediately accused of being wrong. It’s great to hear these stories and the children trying to reconnect. Very happy for the fathers. I wish I could say these stories give me hope, however, no. I have a health condition that does not have a cure, so not really expecting to be alive when they realize the truth. I just pray that they do🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
So grateful to have found you! Targeted parents so desperately need a life line like this. Thank you all for your courage and please keep speaking out!
Thank you!!! You’re so kind
Today's video has ironically given me great comfort. I was an ordinary Mom, my 34 y/o daughter is consumed with hatred for me and took the baby too. My son and I are trying to hang on, his sister still influences him. My new attitude is no longer rage inside at my child, its severe concern and pity at what's been done to her social brain. I had to walk away and get off the roller coaster, now I feel calm and know I made the right choice. I dont' know if I can save her, her stepmother is a big part of her live as her Dad participates in gaslighting and insinuations. I can die with some peace.
This was incredibly helpful and valuable to me. Listening to some of the comments brought tears to my eyes… I’ve know for some time that I’m the alienated parent (my youngest son won’t see me anymore), but I don’t think it’s too late yet. I’m doing everything I can to stay in his life, and the idea to write him a letter and mail it to him… I LOVE THAT!!! (and I will be doing that right away!!) ❤
Got some unfortunate news for the alienated kids.
But they need to hear it and need to know.
You cant tell an alienator to stop because of the damage it causes you
It doesnt register with them because they dont care, they never did.
Thats the big lie. They dont love you more than everyone else.
Its the opposite, they never cared about you.
Understand it, grieve if you have to and stop wasting your life making excuses for the alienator because it will never change.
You cant talk to them about it. They wont admit it
They will reinforce the alienation with more lies.
If that doesnt work, they may even turn on you.
You may aswell not have them as a parent because they wont act like one.
They didnt love you, the end.
The good news is, chances are you still have a parent that does love you
They might be feeling deep deep hurt over what has beem done to them.
They have been conditioned to believe that you dont want them in their lives.
You were a part of that conditioning, you were thebalineators mouth piece.
You need to make the effort, no matter how hard it feels, to reconnect with the alienated parent
That means understanding you also treated them bad it also means apologising.
If you take no accountability you will have trouble reconnecting because of guilt.
Very true. So tragic.
Your right on! I was afraid of my children as the B&E's never stopped. The MINIONs were doing the dirty work as I was against the best in the Court system. Now my children can't work or keep a job as mental illness sets in.
.. this is what I find so shocking ... that my daughters wish to vindictively hurt me for a disagreement, is bigger than her care for her children's long term wellbeing.
It generational in my family. I would love to tell my story from childhood and spending time in therapy for things that didn't happen to me to now have a protective order against me from my children.
Omg! I am SO sorry!! I’ve created a support group. I’d love to hear your story. You’re not alone. To learn more about our support group, please e-mail theantialienationproject@gmail.com
I have a question for all of the alienated children: what could your dad have done or what you wished he had done when you were younger to convince you or show you that he wasn’t what your mother told you he was…
I wish he had tried to take her to court to fight what she did to him and us. But, the courts didn’t recognize alienation, in the 80’s. My dad was military and she used his ptsd from Vietnam to smear him to the courts. It was easy to do back then.
I wish he had shown up at one of the three high schools she drug me around to trying to hide from him.
I wish his family would have written letters or called , when I was in college.
I knew my mother was a liar and disregulated emotionally . But, our brains don’t even stop growing til 27. We gaslight ourselves bc the reality is so heavy and heartbreaking.
The child blames themselves. We learn self hate , coupled w all the rejection and abandonment.
But, I’m watching so many families reconnect from this trauma.
You got this. I hope it helps.
This does help a lot thank you. I’m doing the court part and although the other patty brainwashed my daughter to hate me I’m saving record of all my efforts to see her so in the future I can show her and she can see I tried. I’m sad about the lost time that is happening but I can only do so much.
A thing my mom did when she figured out what my dad was trying to do, was to tell me I could ask her anything and she promised she would tell me the truth. It kept a lot of his lies from taking root
I was very enmeshed and parentified by my mom, and so very alienated and angry with my dad. I think if my dad had made more of an effort to never forget a holiday or birthday, it may have made me question the narrative that hes so unloving that he can’t even remember my birthday.
Not a lot.
The courts and professionals make it virtually impossible to deal with.
Any progress in a relationship intensifies the psychological manipulation.
Imagine it like a baseline of zero empathy.
If the child is on that baseline, the alienator may back off a bit
Any signs of empathy
The alienator systematically identifies and destroys it
Brings the child back to that baseline
Eventually the child just acts the way the alienator wants them to
It's total destruction of an independent personality.
The problem is, that personality doesn't completely dissappear and unless the child becomes narccistic, it brings its own feelings of guilt
Any attempt to resolve it from the targeted parent normally activates the pathology and ends up with accusations of abusive behaviour
There's real potential for arrests based off false accusations if they get too involved
The terminal cancer in it all is the ideological mindset that the court and proffesional services hold
It's not too different from parental alienation
There's efforts to enforce a biased status quo.
Any progress in the status quo is attacked with unrestrained force
That's why you see all the charities getting involved, shooting down attempts to sort the courts out.
They do it to further their own ideological status quo
It's a dangerous ideology, not just with the courts
The ideology is a form of psychological abuse in itself and the aim is to destroy the family unit and artificially enforce "equality"
It has no equal outcomes though, it wants supremacy, and hides behind equality.
You start seeing patterns if you are aware if it.
Equality ideoligies somehow make equality worse
Why?
Because abusive people like to hide under a good cause.
It's normal that the independence of single mothers is artificially propped up by the courts and child support
The charities and feminist organisation's constantly look to be on the offensive, there's no ceasefire or mutual agreements.
They can't acknowledge the impact it has on children, crime rates, suicide because they would have to acknowledge their ideology isn't right.
I just discovered your channel. Thank you, thank you, thank you !!!!!!
You are so welcome!
Excellent courageous sharing. The world needs this type of story distributed to the masses. Then, more adult alienated children could understand and hopefully heal.
Thank you for creating this group. I am a targeted dad of 2, I was also somewhat alienated from my father(partially due to his own disinterest in me and that he did the do over with new wife and kids)
It seems to me we can all articulate the damage done by the alienator yet has anyone ever told them or called them out? It just seems like no one is willing to acknowledge the 900lb psycho gorilla in the room. I understand that narcissists do not nor cannot feel guilt shame or remorse but I believe they still need to hear what they've done.
.. I agree, but it's so hard when calling them out just means they will double down on venting and manipulating the children ...
This is so well done. Thank you. 💕🦋This is building awareness. Very grateful.
You are so welcome
Thank you for sharing all of this. I am so sorry that you all have experienced this.
I’m an alienated momma 7 years after being stay at home mom. My heart is broken and my soul hurts .
It’s so difficult even reaching out to my alienated daughter.
As a targeted parent it’s as if the language pattern is twisted and upside down.
It’s as if I’m walking on eggshells, all over again.Way too hard!
Can’t deal with the nasty responses and must protect my own well-being.
I HAVE REACHED OUT FOR YEARS!!!!
So sorry bruh. I too am a targeted parent and had to make the same decision. Youre not alone.
THANK YOU!!! It's hard, but I can't do PART 2 of the Saga.
I'm OUT!!!
I know in my heart that I did reach out through the years.
@@noapologiesX
Gives me and my husband hope. 😭 We’ve been going back and forth with his ex for 12 years. The parental alienation and false allegations are unbearable . 💔
Excellent work, Maddie. Hope this gets shared thousands of times so as to wake people up to this form of abuse.
I'm an alienated father and I don't know if my two alienated sons will ever wake up to the fact that they've been enmeshed with their sociopathic mother. Even if they do start talking to me again I believe the relationship will never fully recover.
Same here. There is a special place in hell for alienating mothers.
This is very eye opening, I’ve definitely heard the term but didn’t realize until this video that I’m going through this now.
Thank you for your videos. Similarities are shocking to our story. My daughter is 20 now, in college at Bama and her alienating mother bought a home less than a mile from her sorority in Alabama, when she lives in Seattle, to continue to smother/alienate her and like you stated in a video, to maintain complete dependency on her. Your videos have given me hope. The back story in brief, after a 7 year custody battle, a THREE week, 80 witness custody trial. I “won” and my ex had a restraining order against her for 6 months, supervised weekly visits and after 2 years worked back to 60/40 custody for me. Then the alienation continued and got worse and worse.
At 5:30 she was telling my story. Sometimes I feel like nobody believes me that this can happen to a parent. Crazy. Thank you for all your content! Super helpful.
Yes! This is a community that just gets it
Thank you, Madi. Please Continue the support groups.
Thank you ladies for your courage in sharing. And Madison for putting this out there so we are more aware.
Absolutely! You’re so welcome
You do understand that making ypu feel that way is not only alienating you from them...but is abusing you
In my case, it was my second husband, my daughters' stepfather, who alienated me from my kids. My oldest daughter doesn't speak to me anymore, but I still have a relationship with my youngest. My oldest still has a relationship with both her biological father and her evil step-father. In my case, my oldest was so mean and disrespectful to me, I often wondered if she was going to kill me in my sleep. It was heartbreaking for me to lose her in 2017, but my life is so much more peaceful and I am not abused anymore.
It is domestic abuse ,using the offspring as parrots and puppets ,as weapons against innocent parent for a punishment for rejecting my ex .
Thank you for this. I am having such a hard time not crying listening to everyone's experiences. I'm so sad you all have had to go through this and am feeling victorious that there are others who want to stop this abuse. It is insidious but together we are strong and when our Creator is on our side, no one can stand against us. ✊🏻💖🌈🕊️✨💖🌼✨💕✨
Thank you to all who spoke. It's a rough thing to open your wound and let people look at it, but for those of us going through it, it is helpful. ❤❤
Thank you for This Video! I am a child of alienation, against my father & Attracted A partner who was alienated from his mother and have battled in court from day 1 for the child we have together. I spent $46,000.00 just for attorneys in this case but with his family being within the court system, the order for custody i have isnt enforceable & it finally hit the worst possible scenario. I have not spoken to my child in a year. I am blocked from any and all communication . She doesnt want anything to do with me.
I felt he was a victim in his upbringing and doing this with our daughter, he could be the hero in this dynamic instead of the victim. I will always be here ready to embrace her with open Arms if she ever decides that she wants a relationship with me.
Thank you again helping us understand from the childs perspective
Awesome work...all your alienated parents will be so grateful and proud ❤
Amazing.
Thanks!
This was incredible. What you are doing has the ability to bring about real change.
As an Aunt I was alienated. Largest heart ache of my life
My mother did it too me w/my father, siblings, extended family, my children and now my nieces that I raised as my own.
So happy to see more information coming out about this situation.....
Please, talk about self hate,
I know that my son hates himself, I tell him he wonderful, and he tells me know I am not.
The negative is coming into him from someone. He also says no one can love him.
Great channel.
As an alienated father of three now 20+ year-olds, it is extremely heartbreaking to sit by and wait for my kids to figure it out. It is such a shame that my kids are believing the lies told by their mom. I was told to let God expose her in his time and way, but I'm starting to give up that it will ever happen. She is an excellent deceiver.
Thank you all for sharing your stories! So so helpfull. What i notice is that parental alienation transcents cultures....it's the same experience for me in the netherlands as it is for you in other countries....like there's a secret 'how to alienate'book out there that they read. Even to telling the child that they are less loved then the other children....wild to me! But as a child you don't know any better
Really well done. Very helpful. Thank you for doing this. There has to be more and more education to therapists and educators.
thank you :) I agree!!
Shit yeah, I'm pumped.
Help Pass S.1131 BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS, crooked lawyers fool crooked judge's ❤❤❤to pick pocket Americans
Are there kids here who have been alienated from their mothers by the father?
We only have 1 or 2 people in our support group who were alienated from their moms. I hope some more will join soon!
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectHow do we join the support group?
It’s for child survivors only. If you’re a child survivor interested, please e-mail me: theantialienationproject@gmail.com@@karenaubin325
I am an alienated mom of twins…
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectcan you expand the group for alienated parents. As an alienated parent myself I feel I can learn from alienated children to help me cope with and address my alienated daughter.
Many thanks for this. I am an alienated father in NZ to my only son, who is coming up to 15, who has been 99% alienated for the past 3 years, but which commenced at around 18 months upon separation with his mum. Hearing you all is somewhat healing, thank-you so much. Missing an alienated son/daughter is horrendous, believe me. I'm aware of one father who is trying to get his book published. I've also been asked to pen my situation, but question whether it would ever get published? Seeing through the alienating dynamics for the child must be quite the challenge, especially having taken on certain traits/allegiances. I remain forever hopeful that my boy will come around. Once again, many thanks for this invaluable content. It is gratefully appreciated 🙂
I have a court hearing Friday to surrender my parental rights. After 10 years of fighting, I have no reason to continue. The alienation was a complete success.
I’m so sorry.
Don’t do it! The alienation was a complete success for me too, but I learned the truth as an adult.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
@@Bri_165 my son hates me. My step daughter has even tried to back me up, that I'm a great dad but his alienation is so profound that there's no hope. It doesn't mean that he can't find me when he grows up like many of the interviewees did. I thank you all for your supportive comments. He'll be 18 in 4 years, and maybe things will change then.
So many of you mentioned how alienating parent was always "saying" negative things about your other parent. If you haven't already, [I'm new to your channel] I wish you speak of all the different ways of "non-verbal communication", Non-verbal communication can be even more damaging to the targeted parent because the child believes they're being the master of their own thoughts. As an example, without saying a word, how hard is it for a parent to let the child know they are angry, disappointed, hurt or any other emotion. It's also common for an alienating parent to start doing things to create a contrast between the virtue of them and that of the targeted [bad] parent. Best example is suddenly becoming a very active and visible church member. No words need spoken and a child is not going to perceive an ulterior motive.
Thank you for your videos me and my son are victims, and you give me hope for a future with my son
You’re so welcome!!
Very good info! Thanks for putting this together getting everyone together. Thanks for the all the video editing too. Lots of work.
Glad you enjoyed it!
This was very good. I wish you could’ve gotten on an example of a mother that was alienated. I was the working parent and he use that fact to tell my children and I didn’t love them and I was working so hard for them. It’s just heartbreaking my daughter still hasn’t asked me but I just Keep it open in Pray come around she’s only 19.
As a parent that has felt the deep cuts of betrayal from my children that turned against me to please the other parent and step parent, I am just now learning about parental alienation and can understand what happened in the past more clearly now, and how it went from a close relationship with my children to having them thinking I am a terrible person that doesn't love them or that I abandoned them after they left my home by choice to live with their other parent. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting them go but it turned out to be the worst mistake I ever made because with every passing month they hated me more and more. They are 30 and 33 now and I have finally drawn the line in the sand with them because I am tired of the disrespectful talk and disreguarding or ignoring me during hoildays, my birthday, etc.... They always come to me when they need something, but that is the only time they come to me. Why can't they see the truth after all this time?
Betrayal ❤is huge , especially when it's coercive systemic
Thank you for creating this project and for being courageous to come forward and raise awareness around this type of abuse. You are making a difference in the lives of many people. Keep it going! ❤
This is such a great video and interview. I am going to recommend it to all alienated fathers that are receiving my newsletter. Everything I heard here, is exactly what my clients and also former alienated kids have shared with me in my coaching work. Thanks for doing this. If you ever want to go live together, please let me know.
Thank y’all for sharing your stories & thoughts. The more you share, the more you help others in this horrific situation. I do believe more children will find this amazing page & it will help them reunite with their alienated family ❤
JR - thank you! In 2021 is when I realized that my mother worked in cahoots w/my ex in alienating my children from me. She was also the one to alienate me and my siblings from my father. She focused on me the most to alienate me from him.
Thank you. Please keep shining your light.
This brought me to tears. My husband has been horribly alienated from his child. She now won’t see or speak to him and has never really been able to give a reason. The words she says to him are shocking. It was me first , the stepmom , then the hate of the step siblings, then grandma , auntie and finally dad … everyone connected to the alienated parent. He never loved my children like her, never chose me over her but this is what she truly believes and my heart breaks for him but more so her. How can she have a normal life ? I could never do that to my kids ! I had the “ power “ to but oh my goodness it would be so eviland they would be ruined .The worst type of abuse. I pray and think of her everyday and just hope that someday her eyes will be opened and she can have her dad again . This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry to the girls in this video and what u have been through ❤
Ladies thank you soooo much for your courage with sharing your stories. You all have done wonders for awareness, and have given a wealth of information for Targeted Parents. Much respect Madie and your Guests.
Thank you so much! These ladies are amazing!!!
Having gone through this as a targeted parent, what you are doing on this channel to get the message out there is really important! 💚💚 THANK YOU!! 💚💚
I been aliented now almost 3 years my 16 has been refusing all contact with me. The alienator backs him keeping me blocked 🚫. Fantastic video
Wish my daughter just blocked me ,mine with dad peers called the police citing harresement,,
Thank you all for doing this video. It is heartbreaking that a parent would do this to a child. Prayers for healing for everyone going through situations as this.
My child is 7 and she’s being alienated right now she refuses to see me. I feel like i am going through hell
I have been alienated from all 3 of my children after a bitter divorce,my sons came around,however,my daughter who has been the main target for my x,stopped talking to me this March when I told her I was getting married in July after being divorced for 7 years,the alienation definitely ramped up from the x father. I have been blocked from my 29 year old daughter,as well as not allowed to see my 1 and 2 year old granddaughters since then,she just experienced a stillbirth 2 weeks ago,a son,my heart is so broken for them and I truly believe that my x,her fathers extreme alienation,has caused her extreme anxiety,and may very well be a contributing factor to this situation which has been going on full throttle since the divorce.I am only reaching out to her to assure her that I love and support her during this tragic time,since seeing your amazing utube videos,I have a complete understanding of why all of the hateful things were said to me which never occurred before the divorce.It is truly the worst form of child abuse ever executed.Thank you so much for giving millions of alienated parents,and more importantly,spot on info for children that are going thru this insidious form of child abuse💔❤️❤️❤️❤️
My Bonus son is being alienated towards our household
He has told me his mom tells him that our house is not his house
That when he comes to our household
She stays in the garage crying the entire time until he comes back because it is painful to be alone without him
He tells me that Kids are only supposed to love their moms because that’s how life is
Kids only like their moms and not their dads
He shows signs of Anxiety and OCD and he is emotionally unstable
I can tell he is suffering psychologically and emotionally
His mom has no idea all the damage she is doing
He has told me that his mom says his dad is mean and bad and not to tell my partner what his mom says about him
I guess she never expected that I will be the one her child would open up to
He is only 7 and I can tell he is being emotionally and psychologically damaged by his. Mom
It is sad 😞
I saw this with my grandsons and their father, and now my daughter has blocked me from their lives as well.
Keep going
Don’t stop
Show examples,
Explain
Teach,
Help the people how care, and don’t listen to negative feedback
ALL it would take to end this would be for the victims(the children) to take the parent to court for abuse and set a precedence! Its abuse and they deserve jail time until the victims hold them accountable it will continue. IF YOU CARE ABOUT IT THEN BRING THEM TO JUSTICE
THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES! I am so happy to have found your channel ! My situation is a little different, though it is mentioned. One of you talked about generational alienation, which is more my story. My grown daughter is alienating my 6 year old granddaughter, from me which trickles down to most of the rest of my family. We haven't been able to see her in almost 2 years. Before that, i kept her daily. I have hired an attorney who is helping me get to court to tell my story. My question for any survivir on here is, should i continue this case? Should i continue to try to get some court ordered visitation with my granddaughter? Did you ever wish someone would try to help you? I saw my daughter and granddaughter in Walmart yesterday. When i called my granddaughter's name she wouldn't even look at me or wave at me. I know its not her fault. Im sure my daughter told her not to look at me. It was the DEEPEST hurt I've evet felt. I thought to myself, maybe i should just throw in the towel, she wont even speak to me. But now i know she couldn't, with her alienator right there! She is SO isolated! Never sees her aunts , uncles or cousins. SHOULD I CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR HER?
God Bless you for this video.
You All WILL BE THE CHANGE❣️❤️🩹🫂🌹💝
Today, I understand that 99% of the alienation happened when the children were still very young. In the beginning of the separation the children lived with me. Our relationship was still tense as they were trained to disregard my guidance making me labeled as controlling. Meanwhile she withheld her love towards them making them know that she was angry that they had chosen to live with me.
So when she decided to open up to them again they clinged to her completely ghosted me in return.
👍🏼
This video is GOLD. Please keep it up. T H A N K S ! ! !
You’re so welcome