That part. You have to love it. Kids should have parents who want to be there 100000%. Being a good parent requires a ton of self work and discipline. Your job is to model healthy behavior.
I don’t understand, childfree women don’t go into “Mom spaces” and tell them being childfree is not that bad or that they should not have had children. Why do they feel the need to invade ours and tell us otherwise?
@@jakubstaszak6944because we're trying to connect with other childfree individuals like ourselves 😂😂😂. If you want kids go bond with moms not on a childfree page
Yes, I sacrifice some time and energy and quite a bit of money on my dog and I would describe being her human companion as “the most amazing journey ever”. I’d never say that taking care of her is “not that bad”. No, I live and breath for my fur baby. Still, even though I enjoy it, I do not recommend getting a dog to everyone.
Imagine being selfless and helping to raise the next generation of humans to take care of the planet. Oh wait, I forget this generation is the me generation. Do nothing and contribute nothing but expect everyone and everything to be easy and cater to them. Sad
@@Sky-yh3mlkeyword is "should be". The comment wasn't intended to stress not to make bad problem even worse. Not to use it as fuel to criticize everyone that has a child. Plenty of children are wanted and cherished. There just happens to also be plenty that are unwanted and uncherished.
For you, it is and I believe you. But why is it hard for people to see 2 things can be right at the same time for different people? After all I'm child free now and it's awesome. They are adults. I travel. They travel. We live in different continents. It's awesome. I don't just think one thing is suitable for all. The spice of life is that we all love different ways of doing things
What is a horrible thing to worst person can be their biggest dream. If she needs to take steps to sell having kids, the person she’s speaking to shouldn’t have them.
I had one by choice, and he is now grown. My sister had two. We love them more than life, but looking back, we both agree that being a parent is overrated. Choose wisely.
I have a mother who didn't want any and she let all that anger out on me and my twin brother. I knew others who grew up in similar situations and then I realized parenthood isn't for everyone. It is OK to be child free especially when they aren't wanted in the first place.
It will hit you when you hit 80, half your friends have died and only the people you have close to you visit you. Which is going to be a handful of people, maybe none. And that is wisdom from actual elderly people, according to my mother who worked with the elderly for years.
@@douwe4254Ask anyone who has worked in a nursing home, most everyone in there has children and they never come to visit them. Having kids doesn’t guarantee that they will talk to you or be in your life. Also she’s 50, I don’t think she’ll regret it. That would’ve happened a long time ago.
I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them 🤷🏽♀️ When you grow up feeling like an unwelcome guest, you never want to take the chance that you might make someone else feel the same way.
Exactly. I doubt that I will ever regret not having kids, but at least if I do end up regretting it one day, it will be my burden to bear and no one else's.
Women with children who try to make child-free women think that they are missing out on something are odd to me 😅 Ma’am, we all have choices. When I found out I was pregnant, I chose to have my daughter. I also chose to get on birth control and stay on birth control and make men use condoms and here we are 13 years later. Still 1 child. 😂 The key word is CHOICE(S). 😅
If one takes it as prescribed then it is 99% effective. Guarantee that most women who have it fail are not taking it as per the instructions. For example, when I was on the mini pill, if I didn’t take it within the same couple of hours window or would miss taking it one day, then it would affect my cycle. Take it at the same time every day and no issues. The more permanent options would have an even better success rate than the oral pill. Have heard of women getting pregnant with an IUD but never heard of someone getting pregnant after the contraception injection.
Each woman should do what she feels in her heart to do. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. When I finally had my only child at age 42, after decades of trying and hoping, it was even more wonderful than I imagined! My son is 25 now, and the joy of my life. My good friend, on the other hand, never wanted kids, fought hard to get her tubes tied, and has no regrets today. Two women, two different outlooks, neither one bad. Simple really.
Exactly! I never wanted kids and had my tubes tied at age 19. Still happy with my decision at 67. Most of my family and friends chose to have kids, and they are equally happy with their decisions.
@@BbTenn Hi I have a lot of questions regarding this procedure if you don't mind me asking? I'm final with going childfree as well and I'm 25 woman. Will you share your experience when you undergo this procedure, like does it cost a lot of money? Why did you decide to do this instead of other surgeries like cervical removal or something like that? Is it 100% guaranteed success in terms of being unable to convince anymore? How long was the recovery? Does it have side effects?
"Just try it. It might not be that bad! Its not like you'll be responsible for a whole other person for possibly the rest of your life or anything!" Great advice!
It was not a matter of not wanting, it was not being able to find a suitable father willing to go the distance. No regrets, I still get to be a great auntie
So many are secretly and undeniably unhappy in motherhood but they never admit it. So they hear this and think “oh it’s not that bad” when if they could turn back the clock many wouldn’t have had kids. The way our society is set up we trick women into the fantasy that kids are the goal. They get there and realize it’s anything but. I love kids but I love being able to give them back and live my own life.
I came across one mother who interjected how great her children are and that raising them "isn't so bad" because she and her husband work three jobs, that she gets away from her kids at work and drops her kids off at her parent's house every weekend. Thing is, no one made a comment to her. No one involved her in the conversation. She entered that comment randomly out of the blue. Me and other people were asking her if she was OK because we noted about her and her husband working multiple jobs, that she said she gets way from her kids at work. Which isn't healthy mentally. And that she bragged about dumping them at her parent's every weekend. I know two mother's whose husbands don't drop off the kids, butt he husband's instead said that every weekend for the summer, they and the family are going on weekend family trips EVERY WEEKEND. Even both those mothers take an hour a day away from their children while still having their children around. What they do is go to a public play area that's fenced off, sit inside with their kids and let their kids run wild while they have an hour to themselves on their laptops. So it seemed like she didn't have a healthy setting with her children for the fact she was bragging about getting away from them. It seemed like she was rearing children simply because society expected her to.
@@dietdrkelpdaddyexactly my son was stolen by social services under false pretences and now I’m just looking at the positive side of this I love my son to death but I’m holding on positive thoughts to get me through until I get him back when he’s 18
Not everyone should have children. I am self aware enough that I realise that I should not have children. Why would I want to pass on all my medical issues to a child. I could not do that to a child, no matter any biological urges. Biological urges are not necessarily good for us. As an adult people should understand this.
@@ShiningAndStarstruckits not like biology birth is either. Biological birth isn't guaranteed either and it can take a full 40 weeks My sister in law adopted because she couldn't have children of her own. She didn't have to go through labor, or risk having a miscarriage or deal with the anxiety if the child was healthy. Plus, she got to be with the kids pretty much the entire process. They just wasn't her kids until the adoption was finalized. The only thing I see is that the adoption could fail due to the biological parents wanting their kids back and that could certainly be hurtful.
@@ShiningAndStarstrucktrue theres so much more to consider as well and whether ppl want to admit it or not the journey is different. I'm so tired of seeing ppl bringing up adoption as some easy fallback plan they give the same energy as ppl looking to impulsively pick up a kitten or puppy at the local shelter. The same issues of savior complex and people that aren't actually qualified or good caregivers- i see the same arguments being in animal welfare circles and the professionals are just as tired of it there. If you're not meant to b a parent you're just not. Adoption won't change that just because you didn't conceive the child yourself.
I became a mom at 35 BUT-- I enjoyed every single child-free one of those 35 years and I didn't even look at a man if he was not put together financially or otherwise. If you're going to have them, try to do what's best for you and your family and don't fall under societal pressure because YOU will be the one taking care of those babies at 4 am.
Thank you for saying this! People are constantly pressuring you to have kids, but where will they be in your most difficult parenting moments? Most of the time, you will be left to yourself! Good luck!
@@TVrawks301 wait as long as you can. I am kinda regretful I may not see my baby reach the age of 45... but on the same hand if I die while my children are young adults they don't have any pressure about "giving grandchildren" 🙄🤐🤐
@@prittyugly86also you would have them setup financially if you do depart early. I think it is too much pressure all round for women to just rush into everything before they are ready. Waiting until you were ready was a great decision.
35 years old? That is way too old to be having any kids osteoporosis will set in before you know it. That’s basically almost 40. You’re gonna be a grandma by the time your kid is 18 basically.😅
Yeah huh. I always felt like a disappointment to my mom, like I never arrived. Imagine never feeling good enough. Ok, so she tried to reverse what I felt, from what she impulsively yelled at me in anger, but still. A meager verbal apology at the end of her life didn't do enough for me. It's not my fault for how her life turned out.
Also please stop feeling the need to tell women “you say that now but it could change”. We know that. Literally anything in life can change. But a person should be able to speak confidentially on what they desire now. And if they change their minds, not be judged or “i told u so”. Because if a woman says “i really want kids” rarely someone says “you’re going to change your mind”. Either way allow people room to be confident in who they are today. You don’t know if they will change their mind or not. Your journey is not their journey.
As a mother to a nearly 9 year old. I completely understand women who choose to be child-free. i can only imagine what people have to say when you tell them that😅 because when I tell people it's ‘one child only for me’ the convincing that commences for me to have more is insane lol.
What IS that?! I thought is was intrusive and irritating to be yammered at about when are you going to have kids shortly after getting married. But babbling at you to have a second is selfish and crazy. These hens are never satisfied. Feel like turning the tables and enquiring 'so, when do you plan on divorcing?' Then, when they glare at you in stunned silence, 'Oh, you really should, you don't know what you're missing!' That ought to shut things down, lol. BTW, kid-free and loving it.
@@ktokie338 no, I don’t recommend having children. However if one does, try to make the best of your situation because the child doesn’t understand the challenges of adulthood.
Can you please do everyone a favor and share your experience when you hit 80 years old? When half your friends have passed away, your body is giving up on you and the only social interaction you have, is with the people taking care of you. Or do yourself a favor, visit a home for the elderly and talk to them. Too many girls who don't realize they've been brainwashed by modern media, or just echo with similar women all agreeing on the same experience. Let alone the simple fact that historically 80-90% of women would have a child, which in the next two decades is going to drop to 60-70%. Which literally means all women who make the choice not to have kids, force other women to have more kids so future society doesn't collapse. This is a egocentric choice, which weighs down other women. That is okay. But it is important to understand what accountability you might need to have with yourself. And not blame others for it.
@@douwe4254Many parents end up in nursing homes and their children don't go visit them. Many parents out-live their kids. Many parents have incarcerated kids. Many parents have kids that just plain ignore them in their old age. Just like most things in life, it's a gamble what happens down the road. Just another perspective, no shade, that's what great oak trees are for.
@@ThatOneElfEnjoyer You wrote 'future of humanity'wrong. I'm shocked how toxic the stance is of some of the people here. Women birth the future of humanity, but feel forced. The only reasons you have an opinion you can express, is because people had sex, and birthed kids. Since we have contraception, the attitude of so many women have gotten to the point of delusion. They are also the first to argue that sex isn't to make babies. But to enjoy (with) your sexual partner. It's probably for the best some step out of the evolution race. If you don't believe in humanity, you'd better not have kids.
Todays generation has a choice- Gen X here- Was told my whole life the it is my duty and the path to self realization to be a wife and mother😮 That was the expectation and the option. Today it is perfectly fine to not go there which I think is great!
I'm a boomer and I was never under the slightest pressure by my parents to marry and breed. Issue was really never even brought up. Mom's attitude was always, 'Its your life, you do what works for you. Get married, don't get married. Have a kid or dont. Up to you.' At 60+ I am child-free and loving it!
I used to hear that a lot too, and I'm even younger than you! My mom and I talk about it at least once a year. One time I told an old man I didn't want kids and he said I'll change my mind 😂 I never did
I’d need it to be a lot better than “not that bad”! How unappealing. You’re right. Antinatalists (including myself) would say it’s morally wrong though. But that’s different from Childfree.
This needs to be said so much more!! Because being a parent has been the dominant choice in our society, some act as though there is no choice or that we chose to not have kids, when in reality we chose to focus our energy on other things and kids just didn’t fit into that lifestyle.
My mom got married and had an anchor baby to stay in the United States. She was an excellent, all sacrificial, hands on, working mother. So much so I took care of her for the last 20 years of her life and 24/7 for the last few months. She said the weight of the responsibility is something she would not do if she had a choice because it was just so hard even if she loved us. I totally get it, and I was proud and lucky to have taken care of her. I’m still in grief she’s not here anymore.
I’ve talked to more than one parent that has told me that if their second child had been born first there would have been no second child. Warm and fuzzy is not guaranteed.
Are they really blaming the second kid specifically? I agree that with two kids it is a lot harder but that's because of the dynamics between them. The first kid also gets more challenging as soon as it competes and interacts with the sibling.
@@erikt1713 I don't think so, I think they're saying not all children are equally difficult, so people might have one or couple children and think "this is great, why don't people don't have children/ stop at one?" and then mr kamikaze pops out of the vigina and they're like "ohhhh, that's why."
As someone who was childfree through to my forties, I may have a unique perspective on this topic. On average, I think childfree women and moms are equally happy- ON AVERAGE. The highs of momhood are higher but the lows are way lower than almost anything a childfree person normally goes through. Additionally, unless you have a supportive partner who takes half of the load, it is easy to get burnt out and forget to take care of yourself in addition to kids and husband. It is easy to feel unappreciated and neglected. So I would not change being a mom, but I am glad I waited and had a carefree life first.
Not that bad. Doesn't sounds appealing to me. I use that term when I don't really like something that much but don't want to give it a 100% negative review. Like when I'm trying a new fragrance or food
I cannot fathom describing a life-altering commitment and creation of another life that will force a soul into existence for the rest of eternity, as "not that bad".
i love how these people think that just because they liked having kids means that we’re gonna like having kids💀 like no thanks, i’d rather live my life having fun and spending time doing things i love instead of ALWAYS being stressed out 24/7. you only have one life, remember that.
Whenever I hear "I didn't think I wanted kids till I had one" It sounds like "I got pregnant and do to circumstances I HAD to change my mind set in order to be a mom." Which in it's self isn't bad If they really could set aside what they wanted originally and actually enjoy raising a kid and they CHOSE to accept parenthood when it happened and not forced. I just hope there's no underlying regret to doing all that. No “I could have done this! Or be doing this right now if I didn’t have you.” I’ve seen this stuff and it just seems sad.
Totally agree...it's just a different path me and my husband went. We grew up poor so we didn't want to raise a child until we were ready. Never felt that urge nor did we need a child to keep us together. Now I have a wonderful niece. Love her...and I see how hard it is.
I have a belief if someone doesn’t want kids they shouldn’t have them because that is part of how emotional or physical abuse happens. Resentment builds on both sides.
What does it even mean ? She had a child knowing she didn't want to have any ? I am baffled. I grew up with a mother who told me countless times that I was the cause of all of her problem, and many other things, I will never understand people who MAKE THE CHOICE, yes they make the choice, to have a child when they know they don't want to. Taking such a risk is the most selfish and disrespectful act I know of. Not being loved and feeling like youshouldn't exist are the worst things a child could feel. Yet, we have grown adults, who don't want kids... having kids... smh The worst is that they also have a big mouth and think it's okay to say the stuff they say. If you're a bad parent, it's your problem, don't project on others and stop trying to force us into ending like you. Thank you 🤝
I'm a mom to two. I celebrate your choice! It's a tough one in our society, but regardless, it's a beautiful choice! Live your life how YOU choose! Life is short, be happy! For anyone wanting kiddos, I celebrate your choice! Life is NOT a one size fits all! ❤🎉❤
Literally had a friend that's known me for a loooooong time tell me that I hate kids, because I said I didn't want any. I'll be honest - that hurt my feelings a lot
I'm so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately the assumption that we hate kids was born out of ignorance. It's hard for people to imagine that we can care for kids and not want to be a parent. The weight of that assumption is not on you though, it's on them. You know your truth and that's what truly matters. 🧡
Exactly! I'm 35 and married for 12 years. I do want kids, neither does he. Nothing against moms or dads, it's just not what we want in our lives. We love being child free and that's ok too
I raised all my siblings. I took care of my grandparents. I am not locking myself down to give anymore of myself to individuals. I am 30 yrs old. Instead of worrying about finding a man and breeding I am taking the remainder of my life to enjoy it and learn from new experiences that don't have me playing the care giver role. If the need arises to care for someone, I will adopt a child.
As a parent, I see no reason to compel people to conform to my ideal of life. I love being a parent, and I chose my life. Yeah, it's rough sometimes, but It's what I want. However, I totally get where you're coming from, and I fully support and encourage you in your choice.
Well, in my experience I have one that's amazing and the other is a feral monster. That basically does shake out to "not thst bad" but honestly could alsl be read as not worth it if im being objective. I love my kids dearly, especially the hellion but omg , hindsight really does provide all the clarity one needs. Raising kids is rough, tough, heart breaking and anxiety inducing. The scariest part is knowing thst theyll grow up and all the things experienced as a young adult, good, bad and ugly, will repeat with them. Theres nothing we can do about it but love them more and protect them as best we can.
There is something we can do, that will ensure they never suffer or harm anyone else. That is, we can choose not to bring them here in the first place. That's how I guarantee my children are safe and always will be.
Not everybody has to make the same choice. For example, I was feeling slightly bad about having a third child as I'm concerned about the environment and our natural resources. However, given that more and more people choose to be childfree my sweet little daughter is helping to cushion the population decline a bit. So our choices are complementary overall 👍
I'm a mother of 2, and I support the child free movement. We are the masters of our own destiny, we should be able whatever we want to do with our own lives without judgment.
I think this is so common with so many aspects of life. I've noticed everyone wants everyone else to be doing what they're doing or they think there's some sort of judging going on. I have kids. I love having my kids but I've never had any thoughts or feelings about people who don't want kids. Lol
What that mom just said is like someone who only loves McDonalds telling someone else who only strictly loves burger king that McDonalds is not bad either.
I had no desire to have children. Then I got pregnant and fell in love with motherhood. This was a journey meant for me. But I see sooo many women hear stories like mine and think a mental switch will happen for them too. But it doesn’t always. Having children isn’t a fix for your life, having children doesn’t have to complete you or your family and having children won’t necessarily make you happy. Choosing to be childless is an equally valid and a selfless choice to make and I support anyone in that decision ❤
@The Childfree Connection No longer being a single mum, different genetics, desperately wanting a little girl and finally having appropriate supports in place for my oldest who is special needs.
That is so condescending. So we're all supposed to change our minds and go out and have kids just because she changed her mind and had two? GTFOOH!!!!!
As a mom, of one now 18 year old, I've always told people that if they don't want to be a parent/ aren't sure they want to, then they should just opt not to. Parenting is hard, and there are lots of ways to spend your adulthood besides raising kids. If you worry you might change your mind, bank your eggs or sperm instead of going and having a baby you're not sure you even want.
Working 60 hours a week, driving over 400 miles every week for work isn't that bad either. I get told, "Oh, I can't do that." Well, I'm doing it. If I can do it, then so can every other woman. Oh, what's that? They say they don't want to, that it doesn't fit them. Interesting! Who would have thought that we're all different. Amazing...
Hi, thank you so much for your channel. I am 26 yrs old and am in a 6 yr relationship. I've never thought about kids but I feel the pressure to have them since I am going into my late 20s. I always felt like I have to over explaining and watching this video made me realize that simply not having a desire to have kids is enough of a reason.
Every person’s circumstances are different and every child is different. I don’t understand why people with children like to generalize about this decision. Why is it “not that bad” for her? Does she have a support system? Live in a wealthier neighborhood with a fully funded school? Have an independent child who is a fast learner? Maybe she excels at relating to and teaching children? What if I don’t have a strong support system, can’t afford to live near a good school, have a child with special needs or have learning disabilities of my own? What if I just spent my 20s providing care for terminally ill parents? There are so many reasons to choose one way or the other and no two parents are going to have the same parenting experience. I’m a woman of color, I had a non-traditional upbringing. It bothers me when people who fall into the status quo in every area of their lives give me advice from their POV when they know I will never experience the world as they have or be treated by the world the way that they have been treated. Sometimes I just want to be a jerk and say, “Why don’t you move into a poor neighborhood and live below the poverty line for a significant portion of your life? LOOK AT ME. Clearly, it’s not THAT bad. Everyone should do it! Why don’t you want to do it? You’ll regret it if you don’t.” Geez. These people.
Who knew “live and let live” could trigger these entitled parents so much? 😂 Some of them really have this insane god complex and can’t handle others living differently
The types of women who say this were never truly childfree by choice. They were fence sitters who eventually succumbed to the social or partner pressure to have kids.
I'm a mom of 2 and before getting married I NEVER wanted kids. If I talk to someone who doesn't want kids, I'd still have the same level of respect and understanding towards them. It's their body so it's their decision. To each their own.
Honestly from childhood i dreamed of being a mom. I have 3 and i am happy. So if i knew at a young age i wanted kids then why cant other women know they dont. Respect what others feel and mind your business. Noone judged me at 10 saying i want 3 kids. Why judge anyone who says they dont. I dont get most people.
This is exactly the point. A girl is not too young to know she does want to be a mother, but is too young to decide she does NOT want to be a mother? Make it make sense. I am so glad I opted out of motherhood. I would NEVER forgive myself for bringing a female child into this world.
@@Childfree334 I don't understand why people always judge others. I'm glad your happy with life❤. I really love my babies but it is work! 24 hour work and if you don't want the job no one should ever judge you! ❤
Listen, I applaud y’all. I had my first at 19 then got married knew I didn’t love him but didn’t want to be a statistic. Then I had 4 by 26/27. I was no way mentally or emotionally ready and effed up so much! Divorced by 29 and lost my mind (freedom) and was in them streets! I have so many regrets now. All of my sons are grown now and we’re all good but I definitely encouraged them to wait! At least 3 of them took my advice and the one who didn’t is definitely telling me I was right he wasn’t ready! Do y’all! Times have changed we have more rights and don’t need a man to build productive lives! ❤
This is our space to be. Im not on yt chanels of moms actually i could care less about seeing a video about a nursery being put together or a trip with the kids lol and i dont look for reasons to hv kids or somethinggg... I just cant even find funny shorts when they appear of children i just really dont care. I love to see videos of childfree ppl because where i live i dont hv any friends without children so i come here to my ppl😂
As a mom, I would NEVER try and pressure anyone into having kids. I am well aware that kids are not for everyone. They are a big commitment. Kids are wonderful AND frustrating. If you know that kids aren't for you, good job being self-aware, and you do you.❤
I'm currently pregnant and have qanted to be a mom from as far back as i can remember. I'm also aware that not everyone can, should, or would even want to have kids, and that should be normalized. We are more than just walking wombs.
I'm a mom of 3, DONT do it if it's not for you, period. No one deserves to be shamed for that decision, period. I grew up as an only child with alot of my moms friends who didn't have kids and it was wonderful to have them and see how exciting their lives were. They traveled, focused on their interests and were some of the most kind and nurturing humans I've met. Kids should NEVER be an expectation on anyone, that's totally unfair.
I’m a single mom of 15yrs full custody. Raised my daughter alone and struggled through most of it. I love my daughter & wouldn’t change any of the choices I made. I have been watching a lot of the child free videos recently & even I totally get it. I’m glad that with time, strength and confidence women have this option & are doing this for themselves and their happiness. The ability to focus on themselves, their happiness, their growth, their self care and their travels. Props to all the women making this choice 4 themselves now. Luv this for you! 🥰💕🥂
I think it's okay to say that it's bad though. I feel like many child free by choice people like to sugarcoat it for those who have children. But what may be "bad" for one person, may be "good" for someone else. It's okay
I was always a kids' person... lovw them and loved being around them and I imagined I would have a ton of kids and so on... but I never really understood what motherhood or parenthood really is about... now that I have one kiddo I am strongly encouraging others not to have kids because, as much as I love my son, I liked my life waaaay more before his arrival :( so yea... being a mother is a very selfless thing and losing yourself in many ways... as much help as you have from people around, you still end up sacrificing a lot
Also, I really don t undeestand why are we still at this point where women have to explain themselves when deciding on not having kids... like it is a whole damn responsability, it takes time and money... ppl should just mind their business
I didn't know if I wanted children and had 3, now that they're grown and I have 7 grandchildren I never could imagine life without them. But I do respect women or couples that decide not to. In our society today I fear what's ahead for my grandchildren and their children. But for me surrounded by love as I age is a blessing. ❤
I dont want to do anything that is "not that bad".
Don’t do it
@@imatter2me2day Trust me, I'm not lol!
same!
That part. You have to love it. Kids should have parents who want to be there 100000%. Being a good parent requires a ton of self work and discipline. Your job is to model healthy behavior.
Right. 😂🤣
I don’t understand, childfree women don’t go into “Mom spaces” and tell them being childfree is not that bad or that they should not have had children. Why do they feel the need to invade ours and tell us otherwise?
I wish someone could answer this.
Because anything that's not seen as the status quo gets constantly questioned and belittled
I get this ALL the time. I agree with your point!
Really, don't? Then why I see offensive childless woman propaganda all around internet and other media.
@@jakubstaszak6944because we're trying to connect with other childfree individuals like ourselves 😂😂😂. If you want kids go bond with moms not on a childfree page
Imagine sacrificing all your time, money and energy into a lifelong experience that “isnt that bad” 😂
Exactly my thought, "having kids is NOT THAT BAD." Sounds very tempting. :D
Yes, I sacrifice some time and energy and quite a bit of money on my dog and I would describe being her human companion as “the most amazing journey ever”.
I’d never say that taking care of her is “not that bad”. No, I live and breath for my fur baby.
Still, even though I enjoy it, I do not recommend getting a dog to everyone.
Body too
Right?!😂😂😂
Imagine being selfless and helping to raise the next generation of humans to take care of the planet. Oh wait, I forget this generation is the me generation. Do nothing and contribute nothing but expect everyone and everything to be easy and cater to them. Sad
If you don't want children, don't have children.. Don't question it. ALL children should be wanted and cherished.
50% of all pregnancies are unwanted...
And foster care dumping is proof of otherwise so pointless
❣️
Over your head kid
@@Sky-yh3mlkeyword is "should be". The comment wasn't intended to stress not to make bad problem even worse. Not to use it as fuel to criticize everyone that has a child.
Plenty of children are wanted and cherished. There just happens to also be plenty that are unwanted and uncherished.
"Not that bad?!!" That's the best you got? Its fuckin great being childfree!
She was trying to understand the other perspective bc ppl think it’s a horrible thing to have kids, that’s why she worded it that way
For you, it is and I believe you. But why is it hard for people to see 2 things can be right at the same time for different people? After all I'm child free now and it's awesome. They are adults. I travel. They travel. We live in different continents. It's awesome. I don't just think one thing is suitable for all. The spice of life is that we all love different ways of doing things
Yes it is. Many mothers are too embarrassed to speak the truth about having children because they fear being labeled a bad mother.
What is a horrible thing to worst person can be their biggest dream. If she needs to take steps to sell having kids, the person she’s speaking to shouldn’t have them.
I had one by choice, and he is now grown. My sister had two. We love them more than life, but looking back, we both agree that being a parent is overrated. Choose wisely.
I have a mother who didn't want any and she let all that anger out on me and my twin brother. I knew others who grew up in similar situations and then I realized parenthood isn't for everyone. It is OK to be child free especially when they aren't wanted in the first place.
Lol girl they’re trynna gaslight us into their misery… “not that bad” 🥴
FACTSSSSSSS...I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED NOT HAVING CHILDREN IN IM 50 😂
It will hit you when you hit 80, half your friends have died and only the people you have close to you visit you. Which is going to be a handful of people, maybe none.
And that is wisdom from actual elderly people, according to my mother who worked with the elderly for years.
@@douwe4254 WHO CARES ILL BE 80 WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT😂
@@douwe4254Ask anyone who has worked in a nursing home, most everyone in there has children and they never come to visit them. Having kids doesn’t guarantee that they will talk to you or be in your life.
Also she’s 50, I don’t think she’ll regret it. That would’ve happened a long time ago.
Good for you. Lets respect peoples personal choices. Its ok to have kids. Its ok not to
@@StettafireHell no, the first world has bad birth rates. We need kids.
I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them 🤷🏽♀️
When you grow up feeling like an unwelcome guest, you never want to take the chance that you might make someone else feel the same way.
Exactly. I doubt that I will ever regret not having kids, but at least if I do end up regretting it one day, it will be my burden to bear and no one else's.
Amen to that!
Women with children who try to make child-free women think that they are missing out on something are odd to me 😅 Ma’am, we all have choices. When I found out I was pregnant, I chose to have my daughter. I also chose to get on birth control and stay on birth control and make men use condoms and here we are 13 years later. Still 1 child. 😂 The key word is CHOICE(S). 😅
Absolutely!
YES!!!!!!
What the name of the birth control you are using? I ask because I have heard so many stories where the birth control failed.
If one takes it as prescribed then it is 99% effective. Guarantee that most women who have it fail are not taking it as per the instructions. For example, when I was on the mini pill, if I didn’t take it within the same couple of hours window or would miss taking it one day, then it would affect my cycle. Take it at the same time every day and no issues. The more permanent options would have an even better success rate than the oral pill. Have heard of women getting pregnant with an IUD but never heard of someone getting pregnant after the contraception injection.
I have a 7 Yr old and she still my only kid but i didn't have to use birth control i just didn't open my legs to no man after that simple
Each woman should do what she feels in her heart to do. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom. When I finally had my only child at age 42, after decades of trying and hoping, it was even more wonderful than I imagined! My son is 25 now, and the joy of my life. My good friend, on the other hand, never wanted kids, fought hard to get her tubes tied, and has no regrets today. Two women, two different outlooks, neither one bad. Simple really.
Exactly! I never wanted kids and had my tubes tied at age 19. Still happy with my decision at 67. Most of my family and friends chose to have kids, and they are equally happy with their decisions.
@@BbTenn Hi I have a lot of questions regarding this procedure if you don't mind me asking? I'm final with going childfree as well and I'm 25 woman.
Will you share your experience when you undergo this procedure, like does it cost a lot of money?
Why did you decide to do this instead of other surgeries like cervical removal or something like that?
Is it 100% guaranteed success in terms of being unable to convince anymore?
How long was the recovery?
Does it have side effects?
@Yuqideqiko Perhaps, talk with your doctor or gynecologist....they should give u accurate info and answers to your questions
That hair is so luxurious. It's giving me life.
awe, thanks!! 😍
And her beautiful smile.@@TheChildfreeConnection
I’ve been scrolling this comment section literally looking for this one comment!
😂
I agree, your hair looks fantastic! @@TheChildfreeConnection
I'm a 38 male, and kids are not for me. I love my freedom, sanity, and money.
Especially sanity. 😂
🎯
THIS!!!!
Same & you seem to like cats too! 🎉 win/win!
Dont cry when they slam you in the old folks home. That is the trend now
"Just try it. It might not be that bad! Its not like you'll be responsible for a whole other person for possibly the rest of your life or anything!" Great advice!
Right?! 🤦🏻♀️
There's no such thing as 'trying' parenthood. It's forever. One can't go back.
It was not a matter of not wanting, it was not being able to find a suitable father willing to go the distance. No regrets, I still get to be a great auntie
So many are secretly and undeniably unhappy in motherhood but they never admit it. So they hear this and think “oh it’s not that bad” when if they could turn back the clock many wouldn’t have had kids. The way our society is set up we trick women into the fantasy that kids are the goal. They get there and realize it’s anything but. I love kids but I love being able to give them back and live my own life.
I came across one mother who interjected how great her children are and that raising them "isn't so bad" because she and her husband work three jobs, that she gets away from her kids at work and drops her kids off at her parent's house every weekend.
Thing is, no one made a comment to her. No one involved her in the conversation. She entered that comment randomly out of the blue. Me and other people were asking her if she was OK because we noted about her and her husband working multiple jobs, that she said she gets way from her kids at work. Which isn't healthy mentally. And that she bragged about dumping them at her parent's every weekend.
I know two mother's whose husbands don't drop off the kids, butt he husband's instead said that every weekend for the summer, they and the family are going on weekend family trips EVERY WEEKEND.
Even both those mothers take an hour a day away from their children while still having their children around. What they do is go to a public play area that's fenced off, sit inside with their kids and let their kids run wild while they have an hour to themselves on their laptops.
So it seemed like she didn't have a healthy setting with her children for the fact she was bragging about getting away from them. It seemed like she was rearing children simply because society expected her to.
Truth
You’re absolutely right. There’s plenty of breeders who will never admit that. 😂
@@Colony08Breeders? You mean parents. They’re not animals
@@sugarpearl9781 Breeders. Is exactly what I meant and exactly what I said.
Never regretted not having kids. The world’s on fire. Why throw them into without their consent?
this
literally just growing another slave to capitalism
@@dietdrkelpdaddyexactly my son was stolen by social services under false pretences and now I’m just looking at the positive side of this I love my son to death but I’m holding on positive thoughts to get me through until I get him back when he’s 18
Because haven’t you heard the latest from Jordan Peterson, life is supposed to suck ass and we must love it😂😂
Not everyone should have children. I am self aware enough that I realise that I should not have children. Why would I want to pass on all my medical issues to a child. I could not do that to a child, no matter any biological urges. Biological urges are not necessarily good for us. As an adult people should understand this.
Yes! Self awareness is key for such a life-altering decision.
You have totally the right to be child free, but let's just remember adoption is a thing
@@MariaPaula-uw3dsAdoption is a long and arduous process and isn't guaranteed to get you a child.
@@ShiningAndStarstruckits not like biology birth is either. Biological birth isn't guaranteed either and it can take a full 40 weeks
My sister in law adopted because she couldn't have children of her own. She didn't have to go through labor, or risk having a miscarriage or deal with the anxiety if the child was healthy. Plus, she got to be with the kids pretty much the entire process. They just wasn't her kids until the adoption was finalized. The only thing I see is that the adoption could fail due to the biological parents wanting their kids back and that could certainly be hurtful.
@@ShiningAndStarstrucktrue theres so much more to consider as well and whether ppl want to admit it or not the journey is different. I'm so tired of seeing ppl bringing up adoption as some easy fallback plan they give the same energy as ppl looking to impulsively pick up a kitten or puppy at the local shelter. The same issues of savior complex and people that aren't actually qualified or good caregivers- i see the same arguments being in animal welfare circles and the professionals are just as tired of it there. If you're not meant to b a parent you're just not. Adoption won't change that just because you didn't conceive the child yourself.
Not that bad... such a ringing endorsement there
I know!
It’s called “Damned by faint praise!”
Right? 😂
It’s wonderful having children! Not that bad is not my description.
@@beigenegress2979😂😂😂
I became a mom at 35 BUT-- I enjoyed every single child-free one of those 35 years and I didn't even look at a man if he was not put together financially or otherwise. If you're going to have them, try to do what's best for you and your family and don't fall under societal pressure because YOU will be the one taking care of those babies at 4 am.
SAME!!!!!
Thank you for saying this! People are constantly pressuring you to have kids, but where will they be in your most difficult parenting moments? Most of the time, you will be left to yourself! Good luck!
@@TVrawks301 wait as long as you can. I am kinda regretful I may not see my baby reach the age of 45... but on the same hand if I die while my children are young adults they don't have any pressure about "giving grandchildren" 🙄🤐🤐
@@prittyugly86also you would have them setup financially if you do depart early. I think it is too much pressure all round for women to just rush into everything before they are ready. Waiting until you were ready was a great decision.
35 years old? That is way too old to be having any kids osteoporosis will set in before you know it. That’s basically almost 40. You’re gonna be a grandma by the time your kid is 18 basically.😅
Waiting to have the kid to find out if you like it or not doesn’t sound like a wise idea
yah!
That's putting the cart before the horse.😐
Yeah huh. I always felt like a disappointment to my mom, like I never arrived. Imagine never feeling good enough. Ok, so she tried to reverse what I felt, from what she impulsively yelled at me in anger, but still. A meager verbal apology at the end of her life didn't do enough for me. It's not my fault for how her life turned out.
Also please stop feeling the need to tell women “you say that now but it could change”. We know that. Literally anything in life can change. But a person should be able to speak confidentially on what they desire now. And if they change their minds, not be judged or “i told u so”. Because if a woman says “i really want kids” rarely someone says “you’re going to change your mind”. Either way allow people room to be confident in who they are today. You don’t know if they will change their mind or not. Your journey is not their journey.
"it's not THAT bad--" so it's a little bad at least?? right?? 😂😂😂 yeah i think i'll pass!
Don’t do it
love that lol I'm a mom here and it has it's pros and cons.
@@Discotraxx16let’s hear con’s first pls, we need to know😶
As a mother to a nearly 9 year old. I completely understand women who choose to be child-free. i can only imagine what people have to say when you tell them that😅 because when I tell people it's ‘one child only for me’ the convincing that commences for me to have more is insane lol.
It is insane! I have close friends with one also and they always get lectured on why they need a second. 🤦🏻♀️
What IS that?! I thought is was intrusive and irritating to be yammered at about when are you going to have kids shortly after getting married. But babbling at you to have a second is selfish and crazy. These hens are never satisfied. Feel like turning the tables and enquiring 'so, when do you plan on divorcing?' Then, when they glare at you in stunned silence, 'Oh, you really should, you don't know what you're missing!' That ought to shut things down, lol. BTW, kid-free and loving it.
Some of us who are child free didn’t intentionally choose it - life just happened this way. 🤷♀️
I want kids too, but I'm single and I'm 35. My mom started the family with my father in her 40s. Le's see what happens in my life. I don't know.
That’s childless
You are childless if you want kids.
@@Childfree334 Right. There is a difference between the two!
I’m a mom and I applaud women who choose not to have children. I used to be them and I let family change my mind.
Did you make the right choice?
@@ktokie338 no, I don’t recommend having children. However if one does, try to make the best of your situation because the child doesn’t understand the challenges of adulthood.
Same here.
@@keynolivia I can tell by this comment that your already a great mother.
@@autumxxleaves4186 appreciate you saying that. It’s tough but will try to do my best to prepare her for this world.
No children for me , thank you .
I'm not missing anything !
Can you please do everyone a favor and share your experience when you hit 80 years old? When half your friends have passed away, your body is giving up on you and the only social interaction you have, is with the people taking care of you.
Or do yourself a favor, visit a home for the elderly and talk to them.
Too many girls who don't realize they've been brainwashed by modern media, or just echo with similar women all agreeing on the same experience.
Let alone the simple fact that historically 80-90% of women would have a child, which in the next two decades is going to drop to 60-70%. Which literally means all women who make the choice not to have kids, force other women to have more kids so future society doesn't collapse.
This is a egocentric choice, which weighs down other women. That is okay. But it is important to understand what accountability you might need to have with yourself. And not blame others for it.
@@douwe4254You’re not the one who will give birth to her children or raise them. Mind the business that pays you
@@douwe4254Many parents end up in nursing homes and their children don't go visit them. Many parents out-live their kids. Many parents have incarcerated kids. Many parents have kids that just plain ignore them in their old age. Just like most things in life, it's a gamble what happens down the road. Just another perspective, no shade, that's what great oak trees are for.
@@douwe4254Those 80-90% of women had kids BECAUSE THEY WERE FORCED TO BY THEIR FAMILIES!!
@@ThatOneElfEnjoyer You wrote 'future of humanity'wrong. I'm shocked how toxic the stance is of some of the people here. Women birth the future of humanity, but feel forced. The only reasons you have an opinion you can express, is because people had sex, and birthed kids. Since we have contraception, the attitude of so many women have gotten to the point of delusion. They are also the first to argue that sex isn't to make babies. But to enjoy (with) your sexual partner.
It's probably for the best some step out of the evolution race. If you don't believe in humanity, you'd better not have kids.
Todays generation has a choice- Gen X here- Was told my whole life the it is my duty and the path to self realization to be a wife and mother😮 That was the expectation and the option. Today it is perfectly fine to not go there which I think is great!
I'm Gen X as well, and I knew from a very young age that I wasn't having any children. My unborn children are too good for this world.
I'm a boomer and I was never under the slightest pressure by my parents to marry and breed. Issue was really never even brought up. Mom's attitude was always, 'Its your life, you do what works for you. Get married, don't get married. Have a kid or dont. Up to you.' At 60+ I am child-free and loving it!
I'm older than you and no one ever told me those things.
I used to hear that a lot too, and I'm even younger than you!
My mom and I talk about it at least once a year. One time I told an old man I didn't want kids and he said I'll change my mind 😂 I never did
@@susansmith493Everyone's raised differently by parents who were raised differently.
Don’t have kids
Coming from a mother here ❤
I’m a single mother and I would open my home to another small child before I’d open my home to a man. THATS who I have had enough of 😂
😂😂😂
At least she didn't say she regretted it. Some do regret having kids. It's not for everyone.
I’d need it to be a lot better than “not that bad”! How unappealing.
You’re right. Antinatalists (including myself) would say it’s morally wrong though. But that’s different from Childfree.
All the respect for women who don't want kids! Coming from a mom.
This needs to be said so much more!! Because being a parent has been the dominant choice in our society, some act as though there is no choice or that we chose to not have kids, when in reality we chose to focus our energy on other things and kids just didn’t fit into that lifestyle.
Absolutely!
My mom got married and had an anchor baby to stay in the United States. She was an excellent, all sacrificial, hands on, working mother. So much so I took care of her for the last 20 years of her life and 24/7 for the last few months. She said the weight of the responsibility is something she would not do if she had a choice because it was just so hard even if she loved us. I totally get it, and I was proud and lucky to have taken care of her. I’m still in grief she’s not here anymore.
I’ve talked to more than one parent that has told me that if their second child had been born first there would have been no second child. Warm and fuzzy is not guaranteed.
Are they really blaming the second kid specifically? I agree that with two kids it is a lot harder but that's because of the dynamics between them. The first kid also gets more challenging as soon as it competes and interacts with the sibling.
@@erikt1713 I don't think so, I think they're saying not all children are equally difficult, so people might have one or couple children and think "this is great, why don't people don't have children/ stop at one?" and then mr kamikaze pops out of the vigina and they're like "ohhhh, that's why."
As someone who was childfree through to my forties, I may have a unique perspective on this topic. On average, I think childfree women and moms are equally happy- ON AVERAGE. The highs of momhood are higher but the lows are way lower than almost anything a childfree person normally goes through. Additionally, unless you have a supportive partner who takes half of the load, it is easy to get burnt out and forget to take care of yourself in addition to kids and husband. It is easy to feel unappreciated and neglected. So I would not change being a mom, but I am glad I waited and had a carefree life first.
Yes, I might feel differently about motherhood after popping one out, but I also might not. And babies are not poker chips, they're human beings
I’ve been child free and now have a child. They are both awesome in different ways.
Not that bad. Doesn't sounds appealing to me. I use that term when I don't really like something that much but don't want to give it a 100% negative review. Like when I'm trying a new fragrance or food
True!
I cannot fathom describing a life-altering commitment and creation of another life that will force a soul into existence for the rest of eternity, as "not that bad".
i love how these people think that just because they liked having kids means that we’re gonna like having kids💀 like no thanks, i’d rather live my life having fun and spending time doing things i love instead of ALWAYS being stressed out 24/7. you only have one life, remember that.
It’s only because they regret their own decision. That’s why they say things like that. 😂
I’m a mom and I love and adore you child free women! Y’all are my hero’s!!! There isn’t just one way to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Me too! I get a joy hearing about their child-free life.
Thanks, now I feel like a freak. Not anybodys hero.
Whenever I hear "I didn't think I wanted kids till I had one" It sounds like "I got pregnant and do to circumstances I HAD to change my mind set in order to be a mom."
Which in it's self isn't bad If they really could set aside what they wanted originally and actually enjoy raising a kid and they CHOSE to accept parenthood when it happened and not forced. I just hope there's no underlying regret to doing all that. No “I could have done this! Or be doing this right now if I didn’t have you.” I’ve seen this stuff and it just seems sad.
I understand your point, I hope so too!
Im 60 and have zero regrets about having children. I like my freedom way to much. Children are a life long commitment that I'm willing to take on.
Mom here and I love my kids. They're 13 and 22. Perks of being child free, no other parent, more money, more time. You're winning!
Not to mention others' judging comments, let alone gazes, & other burdens...
Totally agree...it's just a different path me and my husband went. We grew up poor so we didn't want to raise a child until we were ready. Never felt that urge nor did we need a child to keep us together. Now I have a wonderful niece. Love her...and I see how hard it is.
If you’re trying to convince me of something I already don’t want to do, should probably refrain from “not that bad” to describe it.
Sounds a bit like "I'm doing something I really didn't want to do. Can't go back now. It's tolerable."
being childfree is so GREAT!!!!
I applaud you for taking that path, there are many women who have children that didn’t want to and it shows by the way they connect with them.
I have a belief if someone doesn’t want kids they shouldn’t have them because that is part of how emotional or physical abuse happens. Resentment builds on both sides.
To each their own, I knew by age 4 I wasn’t having kids, I am 42 zero regrets.
What does it even mean ? She had a child knowing she didn't want to have any ? I am baffled. I grew up with a mother who told me countless times that I was the cause of all of her problem, and many other things, I will never understand people who MAKE THE CHOICE, yes they make the choice, to have a child when they know they don't want to. Taking such a risk is the most selfish and disrespectful act I know of. Not being loved and feeling like youshouldn't exist are the worst things a child could feel. Yet, we have grown adults, who don't want kids... having kids... smh
The worst is that they also have a big mouth and think it's okay to say the stuff they say. If you're a bad parent, it's your problem, don't project on others and stop trying to force us into ending like you. Thank you 🤝
I'm a mom to two. I celebrate your choice! It's a tough one in our society, but regardless, it's a beautiful choice! Live your life how YOU choose!
Life is short, be happy!
For anyone wanting kiddos, I celebrate your choice!
Life is NOT a one size fits all! ❤🎉❤
100% 😍
I’m a mom of 3. Respect for all the child free and 4B ladies. Y’all are my spirit animal.❤
I look at motherhood work and see everything I don't want for my life.
Plus I don't want stretchmarks.
From HER experience not mine. Parenthood is just a living Hell to me.
"It's not that bad".
That's literally just copium. That mother is just trying to handle not only making a mistake, but making the same mistake twice.
It’s denial
Literally had a friend that's known me for a loooooong time tell me that I hate kids, because I said I didn't want any. I'll be honest - that hurt my feelings a lot
I'm so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately the assumption that we hate kids was born out of ignorance. It's hard for people to imagine that we can care for kids and not want to be a parent. The weight of that assumption is not on you though, it's on them. You know your truth and that's what truly matters. 🧡
Exactly! I'm 35 and married for 12 years. I do want kids, neither does he. Nothing against moms or dads, it's just not what we want in our lives. We love being child free and that's ok too
I raised all my siblings. I took care of my grandparents. I am not locking myself down to give anymore of myself to individuals. I am 30 yrs old. Instead of worrying about finding a man and breeding I am taking the remainder of my life to enjoy it and learn from new experiences that don't have me playing the care giver role.
If the need arises to care for someone, I will adopt a child.
As a parent, I see no reason to compel people to conform to my ideal of life. I love being a parent, and I chose my life. Yeah, it's rough sometimes, but It's what I want. However, I totally get where you're coming from, and I fully support and encourage you in your choice.
Thank you for understanding. Exactly, it's about respecting what we each choose.
Well, in my experience I have one that's amazing and the other is a feral monster. That basically does shake out to "not thst bad" but honestly could alsl be read as not worth it if im being objective. I love my kids dearly, especially the hellion but omg , hindsight really does provide all the clarity one needs.
Raising kids is rough, tough, heart breaking and anxiety inducing. The scariest part is knowing thst theyll grow up and all the things experienced as a young adult, good, bad and ugly, will repeat with them. Theres nothing we can do about it but love them more and protect them as best we can.
There is something we can do, that will ensure they never suffer or harm anyone else. That is, we can choose not to bring them here in the first place. That's how I guarantee my children are safe and always will be.
@@joshklaver47this
Not everybody has to make the same choice. For example, I was feeling slightly bad about having a third child as I'm concerned about the environment and our natural resources.
However, given that more and more people choose to be childfree my sweet little daughter is helping to cushion the population decline a bit.
So our choices are complementary overall 👍
Your daughter may not have a planet to live on 🥴 & you are worried about population? The population needs to decline to save the planet!
I'm a mother of 2, and I support the child free movement. We are the masters of our own destiny, we should be able whatever we want to do with our own lives without judgment.
Completely agree!! 🤗
I think this is so common with so many aspects of life. I've noticed everyone wants everyone else to be doing what they're doing or they think there's some sort of judging going on. I have kids. I love having my kids but I've never had any thoughts or feelings about people who don't want kids. Lol
What that mom just said is like someone who only loves McDonalds telling someone else who only strictly loves burger king that McDonalds is not bad either.
I had no desire to have children. Then I got pregnant and fell in love with motherhood. This was a journey meant for me. But I see sooo many women hear stories like mine and think a mental switch will happen for them too. But it doesn’t always. Having children isn’t a fix for your life, having children doesn’t have to complete you or your family and having children won’t necessarily make you happy. Choosing to be childless is an equally valid and a selfless choice to make and I support anyone in that decision ❤
@Lovemonniibee. I salute you! You stood on your truth and that's that!
Coming from a mom who loves her daughter more than life, I support all of you who don't want children❤ it's not for everyone do what makes you happy ❤
I have always wanted 4 kids. There was a 10 year age gap between my 2 because the 1st born made me realise I wanted to be child free.
May I ask what changed to want #2?
@The Childfree Connection No longer being a single mum, different genetics, desperately wanting a little girl and finally having appropriate supports in place for my oldest who is special needs.
That is so condescending. So we're all supposed to change our minds and go out and have kids just because she changed her mind and had two? GTFOOH!!!!!
I know, it makes no sense.
The comment was written by a once childless woman who had an oops baby and decided that motherhood was the hand she was dealt and settled for it.
kids are a hard endless job
stay child free if you want peace and quiet
we have different callings
embrace yours proudly
indeed
So if it’s not so bad, then… it’s also not so great either.
Yeah, I choose freedom.
As a mom, of one now 18 year old, I've always told people that if they don't want to be a parent/ aren't sure they want to, then they should just opt not to. Parenting is hard, and there are lots of ways to spend your adulthood besides raising kids. If you worry you might change your mind, bank your eggs or sperm instead of going and having a baby you're not sure you even want.
You know, root canals arent that bad!
Working 60 hours a week, driving over 400 miles every week for work isn't that bad either.
I get told, "Oh, I can't do that."
Well, I'm doing it. If I can do it, then so can every other woman. Oh, what's that? They say they don't want to, that it doesn't fit them.
Interesting! Who would have thought that we're all different. Amazing...
Hi, thank you so much for your channel. I am 26 yrs old and am in a 6 yr relationship. I've never thought about kids but I feel the pressure to have them since I am going into my late 20s. I always felt like I have to over explaining and watching this video made me realize that simply not having a desire to have kids is enough of a reason.
Every person’s circumstances are different and every child is different. I don’t understand why people with children like to generalize about this decision. Why is it “not that bad” for her? Does she have a support system? Live in a wealthier neighborhood with a fully funded school? Have an independent child who is a fast learner? Maybe she excels at relating to and teaching children? What if I don’t have a strong support system, can’t afford to live near a good school, have a child with special needs or have learning disabilities of my own? What if I just spent my 20s providing care for terminally ill parents? There are so many reasons to choose one way or the other and no two parents are going to have the same parenting experience. I’m a woman of color, I had a non-traditional upbringing. It bothers me when people who fall into the status quo in every area of their lives give me advice from their POV when they know I will never experience the world as they have or be treated by the world the way that they have been treated. Sometimes I just want to be a jerk and say, “Why don’t you move into a poor neighborhood and live below the poverty line for a significant portion of your life? LOOK AT ME. Clearly, it’s not THAT bad. Everyone should do it! Why don’t you want to do it? You’ll regret it if you don’t.” Geez. These people.
Who knew “live and let live” could trigger these entitled parents so much? 😂 Some of them really have this insane god complex and can’t handle others living differently
For me . If they come they come if they don't they don't that's where I am
We are all on our own path. 😊
That's no way to look at a hugely expensive life-long commitment. If you aren't 100% on board with having kids, they will ruin your life and health.
Sounds like you need to use protection before you regret your decision. 😅
The types of women who say this were never truly childfree by choice. They were fence sitters who eventually succumbed to the social or partner pressure to have kids.
Yes taking a different path is exactly what I want to do 😊
I'm a mom of 2 and before getting married I NEVER wanted kids. If I talk to someone who doesn't want kids, I'd still have the same level of respect and understanding towards them. It's their body so it's their decision. To each their own.
Honestly from childhood i dreamed of being a mom. I have 3 and i am happy. So if i knew at a young age i wanted kids then why cant other women know they dont. Respect what others feel and mind your business. Noone judged me at 10 saying i want 3 kids. Why judge anyone who says they dont. I dont get most people.
You are a gem! I’m so glad you’re YOU!
@@jam_is_jammin thank you 😊
This is exactly the point. A girl is not too young to know she does want to be a mother, but is too young to decide she does NOT want to be a mother? Make it make sense. I am so glad I opted out of motherhood. I would NEVER forgive myself for bringing a female child into this world.
@@Childfree334 I don't understand why people always judge others. I'm glad your happy with life❤. I really love my babies but it is work! 24 hour work and if you don't want the job no one should ever judge you! ❤
Because they regret their decision, and they want other people to feel bad, just as they do. 😂
Listen, I applaud y’all. I had my first at 19 then got married knew I didn’t love him but didn’t want to be a statistic. Then I had 4 by 26/27. I was no way mentally or emotionally ready and effed up so much! Divorced by 29 and lost my mind (freedom) and was in them streets! I have so many regrets now. All of my sons are grown now and we’re all good but I definitely encouraged them to wait! At least 3 of them took my advice and the one who didn’t is definitely telling me I was right he wasn’t ready! Do y’all! Times have changed we have more rights and don’t need a man to build productive lives! ❤
This is our space to be. Im not on yt chanels of moms actually i could care less about seeing a video about a nursery being put together or a trip with the kids lol and i dont look for reasons to hv kids or somethinggg...
I just cant even find funny shorts when they appear of children i just really dont care. I love to see videos of childfree ppl because where i live i dont hv any friends without children so i come here to my ppl😂
As a mom, I would NEVER try and pressure anyone into having kids. I am well aware that kids are not for everyone. They are a big commitment. Kids are wonderful AND frustrating. If you know that kids aren't for you, good job being self-aware, and you do you.❤
I'm currently pregnant and have qanted to be a mom from as far back as i can remember. I'm also aware that not everyone can, should, or would even want to have kids, and that should be normalized. We are more than just walking wombs.
Thank you for your rationality.
When they're defensive without warrant, it's probably a little bad, lol...#teamCHILDFREE
No thanks 100%, love my peace and free time. Wife and I can watch all the horror movies we want. CHILDFREE 100%
I'm a mom of 3, DONT do it if it's not for you, period. No one deserves to be shamed for that decision, period. I grew up as an only child with alot of my moms friends who didn't have kids and it was wonderful to have them and see how exciting their lives were. They traveled, focused on their interests and were some of the most kind and nurturing humans I've met. Kids should NEVER be an expectation on anyone, that's totally unfair.
My fuckin dad regrets having me and my brother 😂
Yea, i’m not having kids. Idc what ya’ll think lmao
I’m a single mom of 15yrs full custody. Raised my daughter alone and struggled through most of it. I love my daughter & wouldn’t change any of the choices I made. I have been watching a lot of the child free videos recently & even I totally get it. I’m glad that with time, strength and confidence women have this option & are doing this for themselves and their happiness. The ability to focus on themselves, their happiness, their growth, their self care and their travels. Props to all the women making this choice 4 themselves now. Luv this for you! 🥰💕🥂
I think it's okay to say that it's bad though. I feel like many child free by choice people like to sugarcoat it for those who have children. But what may be "bad" for one person, may be "good" for someone else. It's okay
Not me I tell how it is I don’t want children cause that’s my worst nightmare
I was always a kids' person... lovw them and loved being around them and I imagined I would have a ton of kids and so on... but I never really understood what motherhood or parenthood really is about... now that I have one kiddo I am strongly encouraging others not to have kids because, as much as I love my son, I liked my life waaaay more before his arrival :( so yea... being a mother is a very selfless thing and losing yourself in many ways... as much help as you have from people around, you still end up sacrificing a lot
Also, I really don t undeestand why are we still at this point where women have to explain themselves when deciding on not having kids... like it is a whole damn responsability, it takes time and money... ppl should just mind their business
Life is simple if you don't want children don't have children.
Don’t crybully people to have kids.
Personally speaking, I think that having kids 'is' that bad and worse....for me personally. To each their own
I didn't know if I wanted children and had 3, now that they're grown and I have 7 grandchildren I never could imagine life without them. But I do respect women or couples that decide not to. In our society today I fear what's ahead for my grandchildren and their children. But for me surrounded by love as I age is a blessing.
❤
Gotta love people that don't realize how selfish they are in the name of love. 😂
@@Childfree334 right like even though my kids and grandkids are screwed at least I have someone around to love me in my old age 😂