Cattle Auction FAIL | Bert Kreischer
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- Опубліковано 11 жов 2015
- This video is about a Cattle Auction I attended where I accidentally bought a calf.
This might be the hardest I've ever laughed!
Cattle Auction FAIL | Bert Kreischer
#bertkreischer #cattle #auction #fail - Фільми й анімація
"What happens if you accidentally buy one?"
"I'm not going to buy one - don't worry, here we go".
Jarmay La'Quonson
Now as iconic as “hey hold my beer, watch this”
Famous last words
Jarmay La'Quonson you own a cow.
2 seconds later I just bought a cow
"No one else bid... It happened so fast... I just bought a COW!!" LOL!!
Is anything better than Bert accidentally buying a cow for $1400
Professional Fiend no
Only hearing Berts laugh us funnier.
its his love for nature
@Malhab you know why. It's the 1 and the 4 at the beginning of the number
@Malhab When i buy things, we round down.... when its my wife spending money, we round up. Simple!
Best laugh in the biz.
Side note: If TripFlip was on Hulu or Netflix, I would watch that shit in a heartbeat! Pull some strings Bert!
Stealthy Aban could you imagine him and uncle joey together. Good stuff.
It makes perfect sense that his name is Kreischer
I LOVED that show, and him.
The noises he makes
"you think I oughta tell him that he's already been branded and castrated" lmao
Hell, since it's a steer, send it to the butcher! Lmao
Name it "Buyer's Remorse" lol
lol
Babou?
I would have named it “fuck”
@@Rclay0129 haha true
Still one of the hardest times I’ve laughed in my life. His reaction to buying the cow and trying to haggle on the way out. So amazing!!
Can you imagine that phone call to Leeann??? “Hey baby, so you grew up in a farm, you’re gonna love this”
He turned into the Gingerbread Man from Shrek at 1:42
Not the gum drop buttons!
Do you know the muffin man?
Who lives on Drury Lane?
Bert has THE most infectious laugh on the interwebs! I was cryin'! 🤣
For some reason, when Burt says "Let's get outta here! Let's get outta here!" @ 1:26, he sounds like a distressed 1930s Mickey Mouse to me. 😆
What's also hilarious to me is: Burt is trying not to flip out in the arena. But, can you imagine how hilarious it would be; to be still sitting in the arena, and to *still* hear Burt's muffled screaming and laughter in the back office. It would be like the scene in Empire Strikes Back; where Vader tortures Han Solo. And, Lando is listening in the hallway outside.
This is what is called an infectious laugh. You simply can’t help but laugh along. 😂😂😂😂😂
HE'S SO SQUEAKY!!!!!!
And fat and racist
Aaron Romero how is he racist
Seriously, Bert is definitely not racist.
He was laughing so hard he couldn't talk straight!! And I don't know how Aaron worked the race card into this but there's not a person on the race of this earth that's not racist to some degree... And if they say they're not then they're a racist and a liar!
@@brandonwaller1486 dude he's a known racist comic
Holy sh*t this is the first video I actually laughed out loud to in a loooooong time.
Shoulda named it mysteak
OMG that's so funny.
“Slaps knee” 😂😂😂
I can just see his wife: “Bert, how in the hell do you accidentally buy a cow?”
Did not expect Bert Kreischer when I clicked on this video from reddit
Has to be one of my favorite people ever
"Keep acting like that, I'm not gonna open the gate"
Idk why, but that fucking killed me. I've said the same shit to my calves and my dogs.
The Machine is back!
YA MASHINA!!!
"I just bought a cow"
I'm forever quoting that
Your laugh is so fucking infectious! Love the Podcast, I love you on EITM, DLM, Joe Rogan, and on TV when I get to see it! Thanks for the laughs! Can't wait to see you in Baltimore, I hope I can make it!
I find myself coming back to this video just about every year or month, it’s incredible and always has me rolling on the floor
I come back and watch this every time I need a good laugh!
1:03 eeeeeh Twonty Bblublulabulabuabulaubalubalubla....Trip flip.. Sold it
codR this made me laugh so hard
my da bought 2 cows without noticing because he was sneezing
SanFranDisco085 im sick right now and you just made my day with that comment hahaha
@- ThaDutchGuy - this isn't Reddit you fucking cringelord.
Oh god😂💀
I laughed so hard at your line man
"you think we ought to tell em he's already castrated"
I remember seeing this video posted to Reddit years ago because I even knew your comedy. Now I’m a giant fan, and this is the first time I’ve seen it since and realized that it was you. Still just as hilarious.
Bert corrected the auctioneer lady,"it's Bert kreischer, not Burnt Chrysler ma'am".
4th time watching this year and still as funny as the first. I have a strange obsession of listening to Bert laugh at stupid shit.. he can't control it. Funniest thing in the world
Your laugh is infectious!!! For sure next time your in Denver I'll go see ya!
“I just bid one time..
NO ONE ELSE BID!!”
"i just bid one time" that part killed me
Oh God your laugh kills me. I had to keep rewinding when you shaved Tom just to get through it I was laughing so hard!
sounds like 2 girls laughing with a crow. hilarious
He has the funniest laughter.
Whenever I need a laugh I watch this
Haha, the last sale I went to something like that happened to a girl in the back row. There was a young calf going through, and nobody was bidding so she laughingly yelled out $5! and the auctioneer went with it. She was so surprised, but if she wasn't serious she shouldn't have said anything. That was like Rule number one, say nothing and sit on your hands unless you're ready to actually buy something LOL.
I like his reaction that was funny laughing too hard
Bert's laugh makes me so happy!
Hah! NOBODY laughs like Bert.
His laugh could cure death!
OMG his laugh brings me to tears everytime I watch this😂😂😂😂
Absolutely brilliant, his high pitch is the funniest.
this guy sounds EXACTLY like Bill Cosby in "Bill Cosby Himself" talking like the people on drugs.... "No wait a minute, wait a minute!"
I can always come back to this video and still laugh my ass off
Seriously my ribs are so sore after laughing so hard lol thanks for sharing this Better congrats on your new calf lol
That's what you get for shill bidding. Those old guys know when that's going on and they make you pay for it.
What's shill bidding?
Running up the price without the intention to buy
Matt Marquardt holy crap I didn’t know they could actually tell. 😂 this is amazing to know lmfao
Meh, more likely the auctioneer did what they usually do and start the bidding very close to what they believe the ultimate price will be. At my local stockyards it often goes like this:
- 300 (no bid)
- 290 (no bid)
- 280 (no bid)
- 270 (no bid)
- 250 (bid)
- 260 (bid)
- 270 (bid)
- 300 (no bid)
- 280 (bid)
- 290 (bid)
- 300 (bid)
- 310 (no bid)
- SOLD 300
Haha all that work just to get back the starting price.
For this reason, if you raise your card right away, but only once on every cow, you're probably going to leave the auction with half the inventory (and maybe the entire inventory because once the auctioneer figures out you're bidding on whatever he says, he'll soon raise the starting prices way above market - remember it's his job to get the best price for the seller, not you).
Farmer Bear I’ve done that to people before. They wanna run the price up on em and I play that game right back. The moment they hesitate that’s when you know it’s their last bid... boom! They just bought em! I don’t play that shit🤬
This is the first time I'd seen the 5 min version and I'd like to tell ya that I damn near soiled myself.
I was so close to either shitting myself or passing out and then shitting myself.
Thank you.
"oh , it's B E R T please..."
One time I accidentally bid on a Brahman bull when I was little. My mom held my hands down for the rest of the sale.
Had to be one of the funniest things I've seen this year lol🤣🤣
This is the most wholesome thing ive ever seen
This made me laugh so much! Brilliant
Omg!!!! Bert’s laugh is so damn hilarious!!!! He sounds like what I imagine a steam whistle in a Disney Movie would laugh like!
this made me laugh just as hard as he was. OMG. adding this to my list of vids to watch when Im sad
This video got you my sub!
Good luck with the cow ! :)
......I hardly can breathe....too funny.... just wonderful...
That's how hard I laughed the first time I saw you on one of your Netflix specials a few months ago.
Rikker just isn't the same since Enterprise.
Oh my gosh I’ve never laughed so hard in my life, this was tooooo funny
"Keep acting like that and I won't open the gate"!! Lmfao 🤣🤣
Hilarious. One of my favorite videos ever
This is easily one of the funniest goofs I’ve ever seen.
this guy looks and sounds like jessie cox!
His antics are the same too
looks like they cold be brothers.
yea they act like brothers almost haha laff the same too !@
Name for the calf: Grounds of divorce.
Berts laugh
Aw man I'm dying -- hilarious!
Bert's laugh could cure the dead!
"Don't worry"
Bert on his deathbed.
That was hilarious! It went from "I'm not gonna buy a cow to holy shit I just bought a cow" in 10 seconds. Lmao! "No one else bid!"
His out of control laugh is the best
I have never ever laughed sooo hard just watching this video. I mean really, who buys a cow by accident ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Burt is the best ever lol I’m dying
good shit Bert! Hope for more daily vlogs!
This guy is absolutely hysterical!!
I would love to go random places with Bert. I missed the last bit of the video because I was daydreaming about going roller-skating with Bert, going to a a shooting range with Bert, playing dodgeball, golfing at some ritzy course....
He’s like the fun brother I wish I’d had.
Okay so what's stopping him from just standing up and walking out without the cow.
The Sheriff
this made me laugh nearly as hard as the video
You sign up before you get a seat, each participant should have a number. Not the first to consider this i'm sure
like others have stated, you sign up and state that you will pay for what you bid on and what you win, doesn't matter if you can afford it or haul the animal away, they can keep it since you can't take it and you'll still have to pay.
Is it actually illegal to walk out without purchasing?
1:04-1:05 blblblblblblbl
At this moment, Bert asked himself "Am I already getting the milk for free?"
Lmao I laughed at that. He could literally make noises and nobody would know
I'd trade him some magic beans for it. It's a great deal.
My grandparents had a cattle farm that I spent a lot of time on growing up. Hell I practically lived on it for the most part, and worked with the cattle a lot. I also went to a lot of cattle auctions as a kid, and it was my deepest fear that I would fuck up, pull a Bert, and accidentally buy one.
I almost peed my damn pants. I was laughing until I cried
Omg his reaction when he bought the cow was priceless. XD
too funny like your eyes lit up like holy shit what did i buy
Lmfao Bert's laugh is so fu**ing hilarious I love it XD hahaha
I'm pretty sure every time you laugh may in fact be the hardest you have ever laughed.
I don’t know how many times I watch this hilarious hilarious 😂 I
He dressed like a cowboy only to find out he was about to become one.
Should have named it 1400$ lmfao omg! this was fun to watch!
What ya gonna call it?
"Grounds for divorce"
Holy shit that laugh makes me crack up immediately!
Guess he learned his lesson, be careful when at the stock yards
Is that auction in Brownsville or Abilene? I think Ive been there
Lorenzo G I thought it looked like West until they went outside.
I'm waiting for when this gets brought up in 2B1C
Cattle auction? How much did Burt sell for?
PARDON MY TAKE BROUGHT ME HERE
What did you do with the calf?
Dat high pitched voice doe
Looks like Famoso Ca. Auctions. Been there done that.
I really thought that was fake when it started, but honestly even if it was, it didn't matter. His laugh made me laugh so freaking hard I almost peed. Love it! Thank you for the laughs.
why he's so perplexed??? Just butcher it and have an epic barbecue with your friends .
its a pretty young calf not ready for the slaughter
veal?
magic131 its been moving around too much.
thats an expensive barbecue