Discipline Is Actually An Emotion
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- Опубліковано 20 лип 2024
- 🧠 Discipline isn't solely reliant on sheer willpower or habits; rather, it's an emotion that can be nurtured and cultivated. In this video, we delve into the unconventional yet insightful perspective on discipline as an emotion.
Check out Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/3P2rzak
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
Exploring the depths of this concept, we uncover the emotional roots of discipline and how it can be harnessed to drive meaningful change in our lives. Join us as we navigate this unique approach to understanding and fostering discipline as a fundamental emotion
Learn more about HG Group Coaching for expert guidance and a supportive community ready to help you thrive and overcome life's challenges: bit.ly/44luQY8
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Learn more about Dr. K’s New Guide to Parenting Gamers: bit.ly/402GYws
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:10 - How to become more disciplined
01:10 - Why discipline is hard to cultivate
03:00 - We don’t really understand what emotion is
04:27 - Using humor as a path to enlightenment
06:50 - Where in the mind does discipline come from?
08:56 - Cultivate resolve, not discipline
12:23 - How to cultivate resolve
17:40 - What can get in the way of finding resolve?
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🧠 Discipline is not just about willpower or habits, it is actually an emotion that can be cultivated.
🧠 Misconception about emotions in neuroscience and the role of positive emotions.
🧘 The tradition of meditation teaches that doubt is the opposite of discipline, and resolve is the antidote to doubt.
💡 Resolve is an emotion that can help cultivate discipline.
🧠 Cultivating resolve is important for discipline, and yoga can help with this.
🔥 Cultivating resolve and discipline through emotional engagement.
💡 Discipline is an emotion and numbing our negative emotions also numbs the positive ones.
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#healthygamergg #mentalhealth #discipline
At first i didn't quite get the "doubt is opposite of discipline", but after thinking about examples in my life I it clicked for me. I am disciplined, when it feels like I have no choice, when there are no doubts. If the exam is tomorrow I need to learn now, there is no option not to learn so the "discipline" comes naturally (in a form of panic). But when the exam is in two weeks there is enough room for my mind to make excuses. Procrastination is really just doubting the importance of doing something right now.
I really like that description of procrastination
Well said
Oohh yes! Doubting the importance is such a good dedcription. I also think doubting if I want it enough to do the uncomfortable thing
Thanks so much for posting this. I really connected with what you were saying here on a personal level.
That sounds like it could be ADHD related, but doesn't need to be, of course.
This man is just giving us liquid gold on a daily basis
you can't transfer liquid over the internet. someone peed in your pants, tom.
Oil that is. Black gold. Texas Tea.
liquid ?
Velveeta?
Imagine being an average person who likes to be artistic and kind of lazy and you have average goals and then you get stuck with tiger parents like this guy
the thing that hit the hardest is "people who are undisciplined are numb"
there was a period in my life where i coped via making myself numb through negative self talk and drug abuse. getting out of my depression i realized the dangers of being numb. not only does it actually bring u to suicide, but once you get out of it it stays a lingers for a long time. numbness is hard to get rid of. its hard to cry, but its also hard to love or be happy. im doing alright in life, but i crave more discipline
negative self talk does not numb you
@@Fire_Axus oh really? thanks.
@@Fire_AxusSays the person who has never self-abused.
Sounds an awful lot like the freeze response. That's what I call it, as I'm working through something similar minus drugs. Take care.
@@Fire_AxusThere are plenty of varying circumstances where it can. For example, say someone has an idea that they really want to achieve x for whatever reasons, but they fear it may be too difficult and they may fail, which would be heartbreaking. They may then subconsciously end up telling themselves they are a hopeless person and could never do it, to numb the pain that x might truly be possible, but even if they gave their all they might fail. Or imagine someone has abusive parents, there are circumstances where a child telling themselves they deserve the treatment is easier than acknowledging that their primary sources of love are horrendous people. There are more.
notes i took from this:
cultivating discipline through resolve (meditation)
1. Snap shot resolve
2. Resolve yourself to something small; not too much emotional attachment (no fast/junk food) (practice fanning the flames) (for 30 days 5-10min a day)
3. Pick something more important to you (give my all consistently) (cultivate that emotion on a daily basis; 20min)
we’re (myself included lol) worthwhile.
Thank you for being one of the few people online that tell us to learn and master our emotions instead of saying to put them away
Or worse, take medications and fall to our knees to the broken healthcare system.
Or constantly listening to the emotion over all else, which I need with a history of trauma. Yes I have strong emotions which are incredibly valid and useful information, but I also need to be able to function in my day with them by my side.
You might also like the channel, Therapy In a Nutshell. There's a series about processing emotions, it's like 30 videos and I think it's really good so far.
@@channelname5938they have a point imo. I was pushed onto anti-depressants i didnt need by one of many incompetent docs in this toxic healthcare system, and it took two years of my life to recover. Many ppl are not served by our healthcare system and are being scammed by the pharmaceutical industry. Modern medicine could have been amazing if we didnt prioritize profits over ppl’s actual health.
@@channelname5938I think he is talking abt how the healthcare system does make people fall in debt for those psychiatric medicine (and how in certain cases it could be solved with therapy, instead of galling into debt cause of tht) in the US that is.
The fact that doubt is the opposite of discipline really strike me, especially when I think about my daily life. When I feel resolve, I get more focused and my body is kind of warming up.
warming up is exactly that words for this feeling
Yup... I am absolutely *filled* with self-doubt. No wonder I can't seem to stick with anything.
What is resolve?? Dont ubderrstand english
@@nguyengiorno9026 I think it's about deciding to do something no matter what. But the Key is that there is not always motivation behind it.
Resolve can mean making the decision to do something, like “He resolved to go to the library.” It can also mean when a problem is solved, like “The situation has been resolved.” It’s last possible meaning is the internal drive that people have to accomplish something no matter what happens, like determination but more intense.
I've probably left 2 reviews/comments in my life. I heard you share your experience with gaming and failing college on Diary of a CEO. And how you basically got everything together when you were 30.? (I might have the age wrong). But I shot heroin and meth for about 10 years, 18-27ish. With random months of sobriety. Heart attack at 23yrs old, 40 rehabs, etc. I'm in college for psychology and for the first time have some sort of meaning in my life. And it's to do my best to help other people never experience the horrific scenes being homeless, the emptiness, etc. You play a big motivational role, even though our vices were different, it neurologically affected us the same in a way. Please continue doing what you're doing, and once I'm properly educated I'll be doing what you're doing. A snow ball effect of properly informing people on why things work in our brains. For free. Thank man🤙🏼
inspiring life story homie
This really hits home. I have a problem with soda drinks, I REALLY love them. But after 2 whole months of drinking them daily, one day I just thought: "no more for this year". And I actualy managed to quit soda drinks for the rest of the year. And I thought I was only distracted and very unattentive but it is surprising what the body can do with resolve.
@@Odhil95 Thanks, you gave me the inspiration to think of something easy to give up. I was sitting here, thinking about things I want to change and it kind of all felt hard, food, exercise, being more accepting and loving towards myself. But giving up energy drinks and cafeine, thats something I can get behind that doesn't sound too hard to me. Thank you.
Never thought about discipline being an emotion, but that makes sense.
I’m best able to do stuff when I’m almost angry but not actually mad about anything, if that makes sense. 🤷♂️
Couldn't describe it better👏
Yes yes and yes.
Example from my work:
Office fucks up planning.
I'm under pressure and don't want to stress out the client but have to finish at a certain time to get the next client.
My partner isn't helpful at all.
So now, even if I'm angry about this whole situation because it's not even my fault I maximize my efficiency and get shit done where it's due
Well said angry but not mad. Its a cold thing not a hot thing
Being angry releases dopamine and norepinephrine, so you're probably more stimulated and have an increased ability to focus. Not being mad about anything specific might mean you're not fixating or ruminating on something uncontrollably and so are less internally distracted by a stressful memory.
Just an amateur guess as to what could be happening in your case! I'm no expert.
But I definitely feel you. Get me angry and then send me out to do physical labour if you want stuff to get done.
"people who are undisciplined are numb"
A good piece of advice I heard a while back was that if you are in a rut, you should get emotional. To be clear getting too emotional to the point of letting it solely dictate your actions is not good but I seriously believe in at least tryjng to feel something. For me, it was remembering why I had chosen the path I am currently on and what gave me purpose.
I get what you mean. Whenever I’ve been at real lows (usually my own fault) id get so angry at myself, and channel my anger into action to better myself and my situation.
I think it was Dr. K who gave that advise XD I can absolutely remember hearing this same advice. Wherever you heard it, it is wonderfully agreeable, and you have extrapolated it well.
@@cheahyeah7134Yup anger is a fantastic tool.
Being in touch with yourself, your emotions requires accepting hard realities of your situation and grieving the loss which comes with accepting something hurtful and giving up on illusion. When we accept something that hurts, it is important to look for the feelings and experience behind it, because it is what we actually hide from ourselves by running away
@@cheahyeah7134 I think people should be careful with directing their own anger at themselves. It’s easy to forge the criticism into an identity that way.
I once had a very strong resolve, it was about “no more chocolates until I get a 6pack”, it wasn’t strong at first, but as days of gradual addition of learning jump roping, learning to swim, caloric control, and abs exercise goes by, the resolve eventually turned into “no more chocolates until I have 6 packs, and what is the point of those past efforts when I am already halfway there”, the last part really pushed me through when the exercises are at its hardest part. The resolve even affected my actions in my dream. I had a dream where I was having ice cream, and when I noticed it was chocolate, I threw it immediately into the garbage (you must know that I am hardcore chocolate fanatic). I was unbelievably disciplined now that I looked back upon, eventually I did manage to achieve a 6 pack from a fat belly within 3 months. I ate the chocolate and the resolve was broken, and I have never returned back to the 6 pack phase again, but now that I know why I was able to do it (resolve). Things could get interesting. Apologies for the grammar
Seeing your resolve in dream is a great indicator that you're in the path.
I have learnt you shouldn't aim for specific goals that can be achieved.
Working out 5 days a week is a continuous goal.
6 pack is a definite goal with an end.
@@trpweb for reference, you could literally rephrase that goal into 'maintaining a 6 pack' and suddenly now it IS a continuous goal
@@The_Jazziest_Coffee Exactly. Make the process your resolve, not the outcome.
Developing resolve over developing solid self esteem and indestructible positive selftalk is foolishness in my opinion.
I struggled with addictions all my life until I discovered an app that permitted me to reprogram the selftalk that became habitual in childhood. Incredibly I discovered it through an app created by another world renowned doctor and author of over 40 years. It is so very sad that therapists only seem to gatekeep and dispense the app on case by case basis.
That's because you achieved your 6 pack from disordered eating bro
The bit about being numb really got to me, I’d never really noticed I’d developed indifference as a protective mechanism for negative emotions
Just a heads up -- there is a missing asset media offline prompt at 10:39 -- other than that amazing video as per usual Dr. K!
Yes it's missing, I would like to see this table! Ty
Boosting this comment as best i can--maybe a link in description?
+1
Nah Dr. K is just trying to tell us part of our brain is missing
Thank you! I thought it was just a glitch on my end!
This was bloody fascinating. For starters, the connection between lack of discipline / resolve and being emotionally dissociated was WOW. Then I thought about what resolve means to me and I realized something mind blowing:
Resolve is EASY. By that I mean that a state of resolve is like a switch going off in my brain that completely side-steps the need for willpower. Think of those stories you hear about a smoker that just looks at their pack of cigarettes one day and realizes “I don’t need / want these anymore”. They quit cold turkey and of course there are side effects to work through, but there’s no internal struggle. There’s no need to fire up the will power to fight the cravings. No need to convince themselves or psych themselves up to stick to their guns today. The switch has simply flipped and it won’t turn on again.
Then I thought about what that resolve “switch” sounds like in my brain and I realized that it sounds like release. Those times when I’ve experienced the kind of resolve that led to profound life changes have always been framed in my mind as the laying down of a burden, or permission to more fully embody some part of my life. “I no longer need this toxic influence in my life”, or “I no longer need to be held back by this lack of knowledge”, “or I don’t need to be shackled to this weird relationship with food anymore” - that kind of thing. It always feels like a release.
Thank you so much for this epiphany. It came at the exact right time too.
Interesting. So it's like you forgive yourself for your past failures, forgive yourself of current failures and then accept that you deserve better, deserve to be free of whatever holds you back.
@@thedoomslayer5863When I hear / smell / touch / feel that sensation in my brain, the word “forgiveness” doesn’t really come up. It’s more like realizing “this thing / practice isn’t serving me” and realizing I’m not bound to it. There’s a deep sense of epiphany in there somewhere as well that seems to completely side-step the process of conscious thought. Maybe an example will help:
Many years ago I found myself bound up in an extremely toxic friendship that seemed to sap my will to live, but I was completely powerless to escape. Very dark time in my life. Then one day I woke up alone in my home and it hit me like a ton of bricks how at peace I was. I suddenly realized for the first time how my level of peace and wellbeing was inversely proportional to this toxic friend’s physical proximity and that their vampiric nature offered me no benefit whatsoever. For the first time, it occurred to me that there was no law making me responsible for carrying this burden and that it was in my power to lay it down.
It still took time to extricate myself completely, but never again did I struggle with doubts about what the right thing was to do or that I would do it. Never again did I struggle with guilt about what would happen to them in my absence. Never again did I fear being alone in my own space. In fact, it was striking to me how much I enjoyed my own company. I haven’t experienced a single day of loneliness since. I simply put one foot in front of the other and performed the actions needed to ensure my own safety and reclaim my freedom.
Of course this epiphany kicked off other mental processes like self forgiveness, etc, but those were secondary to the epiphany that I don’t need to carry the burden of this toxic relationship any further.
Having figured this out, I’m now thinking about how I speak to myself and how I might go about pro-actively creating those moments of resolve. I’ve been really struggling the past few months with preparation for an upcoming certification exam, so right now I’m thinking about what baggage / burden I might be able to lay down by completing it. If I can isolate that, perhaps I can encourage a “resolve” switch for that too.
This is kind of the thing that David Goggins says. I highly recommend reading his book "Can't hurt me" where he says that you need to use your past failures and bullying as fuel for motivation and discipline.
That is actually exactly how I was able to quit smoking. I never even had the intention to, because I know my willpower is too weak and I thought I would fail anyway. But I remember one day I glanced at my fingers and was shocked to see that they were yellow... After I realised what was the cause I freaked out, something immediately switched in my brain and I never touched a cigarette since that moment. Of course it wasn't easy for the first few weeks, but the fact that there was absolutely zero doubt in my mind about this decision is exactly what kept fueling my resolve, without me really trying.
Fold your laundry
In one month’s time, this video is going to change my life. Let me explain:
I think the reason why I lose my discipline after months of trying to do it is that I start to feel doubt. After going for long enough I start to think, “Will I actually keep this up?” “Will I be successful in this endeavour?” “Is it even worth it?”
Like this I always ruin my own discipline by introducing doubt. I think recently my emotions have become more and more potent. Less numb you could say. And I believe what I was actually missing in my discipline was this concept called resolve. I thought resolve was just this one time willpower boost to do what needs to be done. But if I think of it in a long term perspective, I believe I can actually make this work. I believe this discipline thing might actually work out!
All I need, is my resolve.
For me the doubt is rooted in me saying "Do I really want this thing I'm working towards?" And the answer is almost always no
How did the month go?
@@gamingoverlord8854 Is there a better question you could ask yourself instead moving forward?
I completely relate to you on that, that's always what pulls me back down. I am resolved to watch this video on a daily basis until I figure out how to maintain the resolve 😁
@@revenester went pretty well. First time I was able to last the entirety of no nut November, my body looks better than ever,. For the moment I've only been focusing on these two, but I also want to get into meditation more deeply when I get time. This resolve thing is amazing!
This explains so much! Thank you! I have spent the last 30 years or so feeling numb and what I often describe as a fog around my brain. I always figured I was a calm person, but always wondered why I felt so little emotion or had a hard time caring about something. But the two things actually make sense in the context of what's being said in the video. Maybe it wasn't calm, but rather numbness. I've spent my life frustrated and feeling like my life was wasted. Hope this will shed some light and allow me to make meaningful changes.
numb is not a feeling
@@Fire_Axus I never said numbness is a feeling.
Wish you well. Hope you are able to experience the changes soon! - fellow long time number.
@@mm-ck3cw Thanks. Appreciate the encouragement. I wish you well also.
Action plan.
1. Notice when you feel resolved. Take a mental snapshot. Resolve fuels your willpower. Doubt and distractions pop in but you’re able to focus regardless.
2. Sankalpa. There’s a practice to develop resolve. Pick one thing you want to be resolved towards. Specific or broad. Pick something not very important (less emotional energy). Medium difficulty. Every day when you wake up, within 90 minutes, think about that resolve. Stoke up that fire. Spend 5-10 minutes feeling that emotional state from step 1.
3 The second kind can be more important and broad. Think about this for 10-20 minutes. Stoke that fire! (Recommended after 30 days of step 2).
People who are undisciplined are numb. Every day is grey. We’ve no fire to stoke. Our brain protects us from negative feelings but also numbs the positive ones.
Thank you for taking notes. I copy pasted it to work on ❤
@@mm-ck3cw literally typed it myself but ok
@@allenwixted1992 probably. Get humorous
Thanks
I will def be using this. Thank you for posting!
Ive been in therapy for 15 years. You’d think I’d have discussed everything and yet, this video is has potential to be life-changing.
no
Absolutely. I always wondered about the value of prayer and meditation, especially of my own religious upbringing about Praying the Holy Rosary. I guess it makes sense that if you start your day by meditating on events of God working in the world and overcoming evil and accepting redemptive sacrifice (i.e. the Crucifixion and resurrection), from this meditation, you can gain some positive emotion that leads to Faith, that LEADS to RESOLVE, that leads to overcoming depression and helps you live a fulfilling life. What Dr. K says here makes a lot of sense here, and it makes a lot of sense even with regards to my own Catholic religious tradition.
Until one loses their resolve for a moment in time which can lead to downward spirals 😢
@@Fire_Axus Imagine being under every comment trying to prove something
I am also a dedicated, practicing Catholic and I came to the very same conclusion. I always struggle wirh the discipline of praying the rosary, meditative prayer, reading the Bible, etc. ironically enough! Dr K' s explanation of discipline being an emotion will be helpful for me in multiple ways, most importantly, growing in my faith. Something that has been on my heart a lot lately. Especially because I struggle with such painful depression and a wandering ADHD mind. Second most important discipline I need to work on is going to bed on time and getting up earlier. Now that is something I have been battling with - probably since the day I was born 😂
@123MJP123
I want to add - I'm 52, at 47 - after four misdiagnoses since the age of 15 - was diagnosed with ADHD, and in the past year ASD. Deep emotionality is a BIG part of ADHD/ASD, that folks rarely talk about. I feel EVERYTHING deeply. And since I have learned to work with and manage my reactivity- I have learned that my deep sensitivity isn't a problem- it's a gift! The "problem" was my reactivity- this understanding has allowed me to "forgive" those whom over the years have dismissed me and my feelings as being "too sensitive". I have decided, generously, lol, to believe that they all misspoke. I have decided that what they meant was that my reactivity was super uncomfortable for them - not my sensitivity. People actually seem to genuinely appreciate my sensitivity. I feel that my sensitivity, brave vulnerability, curiosity and compassion- now bolstered with healthy boundaries and radical accountability- I now genuinely appreciate my sensitivity- as I now understand that my ability to connect with my feelings in such a deep, curious, nonjudgmental way- I feel calmer AND stronger.
Part of one of the struggles of ADHD and ASD is, it is often a challenging to activate on an activity or task, without some sort of emotional "skin in the game". This information- has me thinking that if I can simply use the resolute feelings - to help me to activate on things I struggle with - for instance- I have a hell of a time keeping my apartment clean and organized. Which drives me nuts - and has caused me shame. Now - over the past year - I resolved to accept this issue. So I did a an experiment, I "let it go". I allowed my apartment to get REALLY disgusting- and I made it a meditation- I would stand in the middle of my mess - and address the uncomfortable feelings of shame - leaned in if you will. And I was able to remove the shame - and was able to accept that those this is a troubling pattern in my life - I wasn't defined by it. Today - I watched this again - and now - I'm in the process of doing a deep cleaning- and I "feel" GREAT about it.
Thanks so much - this one video has given me a lot too work with. Thank you again!
Your comment will resonate with A LOT of people.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us! Wishing you all the best as you keep learning too!
I’m in my 40s and also dealing with a late life adhd diagnosis. It’s a bit heartbreaking at times to look back and see how my reactivity has caused so many difficulties in my relationships. It’s improving now that I have a better understanding of my wiring but it’s still a struggle.
Woo boy can I relate to that! ADHD, ASD, and ISTJ personality (introverted feeling is a major component)... Thank you for sharing your experience 💜
Also, I am happy for you about the messy home issue!!! While I don't consciously have a problem with my home being a mess, it gives me sensory overload 🥴
You hit the nail on the head about being a DEEP feeler & sensitive. It often irks me that most ppl I encounter are so apathetic, and I have to constantly remind myself that I feel WAY more than they ever will. And yes, accepting self, along with understanding others, is HUGE for being able to easily forgive ppl 💜
Again, thank you for sharing 💜 I have a hard time articulating my thoughts, so I'm always very thankful when someone else puts something into words that has been floating around in my head for a while 😅💜
I watched your videos a few months ago and I'm back here to say that you changed my life. Thanks to the concept you gave about discipline being an emotional state of determination and the opposite of this state being doubt.
For 15 years I have dreamed of the day that I would be disciplined and achieve the things that I think are important in my life and now I have achieved it.
During all this time of searching I watched countless videos about psychology and philosophy while I was immersed in anguish trying to find an answer. The delay in this response brought me a lot of learning and self-knowledge. But finally today I am amazed at what I have become. I never imagined that one day I wouldn't make the slightest point of playing video games for 10 hours like I did. Or that I could study all day with short breaks without much effort.
All I had to do was eliminate the doubt from my mind and magic happened.
I was in love with doubt. I loved mystery and felt intelligent questioning everything. It was burying me in procrastination and anguish.
Once again! thanks! Today i am the one i Always wanted to be with discipline.
Question and doubt every bad habit, but don't doubt about the good habits. this channel has helped me a lot
I was literally just asking myself last night that I don't understand discipline.. Dr K never fails to deliver at the right time. Thank you for everything you do 🙌
Almost like an answer from the heavens above, Jesus Christ's help.
💯
You live in a simulation, everything you just ”thought” about just happens recently right? 💀
Of course! the emotional circuit of "Media offline"!!!!
It's like willpower is us doing a task and resolve is the shields we put around willpower in our mind to intercept doubtful thoughts.
I moved into my apartment with no idea how to make money to pay my rent this gave me feelings of doubt. My small business failing gave me feelings of doubt in the success . My lack of productivity made me doubt my lack of discipline . My lack of emotional joy and why Im not as disciplined as I was made me doubt if I can ever reach it again. I just realized that All of these doubtful periods I’ve been going through are the culprit to my lack of discipline and why I’m not where I have been wanting to be. I’ve attempted to blame my lack of discipline on a neurological issue which is possible because I had terrible brain fog after Covid, but this is so helpful thank you for this video I’m just going to fully focus on any doubtful thoughts that may come up and enjoy the feelings of small resolves to increase my positive emotional state.
I am a doctor myself, struggling to get into post graduation. Just today I was out of discipline, trying to numb myself, overwhelmed by emotions. I felt I was there again, doing nothing. Just today I thought what if I used my emotions to steer my day with discipline, but didn't find a way and dropped it. But somehow stumbled upon this video. It helped. Thank u sir. This meant a lot to me. ❤
Wow, it makes me happy to know how positively impactful this was for you
Go ahead doc, we need your expertise 😅
The same thing is happening with me right now. It's hard to decide if I should take steps, PLAB, or FCPS. I am already preparing for FCPS, but somehow I can't put my whole mind to it.
Just recently finished paramedic training and I’ve been in a similar (albeit probably less intense) funk. I feel like this video has come at the right time
This really resonated with me. I remember as a child I was bullied for my visual impairment. One instance that I can vividly remember was when a group of guys on my school bus told me that the only reason I was doing well in school, was because I took my exams with the help of a paraprofessional (to read large blocks of text aloud), and she must have been giving me the answers. This was back in elementary school, but it flipped a switch in me; I gained incredible resolve to succeed in school, to become so good that no one could think less of me just because of my vision. This stayed a part of me for 10+ years, until someone called me a "stupid f***ing blind person"; I wasn't even mad, just shocked; because I was so 'smart', and I realized, it doesn't matter what one does, there will always be people who want to tear you down. After that, I tried to strive for improving myself, by only comparing the me of today, to the me of yesterday; however, at some point, I guess I stopped cultivating resolve, because I have found it difficult to feel motivated recently. I will implement your methods, and we will see how it goes.
Kids can be cruel. I don't understand why somebody would make fun of a person with disabilities, as if they're not going through enough already without the bullying. Inspiring story you have though!
I was bullied for being fat, but eventually I learned to make fun of myself and take the insults as a joke. In the army (early 20s) there were videos circulating of me dancing shirtless with my floppy belly and walking around in thongs - which were basically my ideas. I realized that the best way to disarm the haters is through humor. If you're already making fun of yourself and taking all the insults as a joke, then they're powerless.
Anyway, nowadays I'm studying about accessibility in design, so I could hopefully raise awareness of and ease the lives of people with disabilities. No-one deserves to struggle more than necessary for what they can't affect. All the best!
It sounds like your major fuel for many years has been extrinsic motivation (e.g. prove them bullies wrong). So much so that you might have forgotten to cultivate your intrinsic motivation which is all about what you genuinely want from yourself. And that COULD simply be accepting that you don't need or want to "improve" any further. To me it sounds like you more than deserve a break and that you've always been more than good enough, just as you are, to begin with. :)
They're envious. I studied really hard and finally got the max grade at an essay, and the kid in my class who does nothing said that even he could with chat GPT. They're angry because they didn't put as much effort as you did, and they know that, so they try to hide this fact by theorising you must be lying and stuff
@@classicjulie5381 this was beautifully put, that is so right. Hope he/she sees your kind comment!
motivation is not a feeling
the last part about being numb really resonated with me, i haven't been able to point out why i've had so much trouble with discipline but i think you put it perfectly
Practicing cultivating your resolve every morning sounds really similar to the way you described effective visualization techniques in a previous video. I see a lot of connection between these two. Envisioning myself completing a task I want to do but have lacked the motivation to actually do it has been really helping me stoke my resolve and increase my overall willpower throughout the day. It's so cool to be able to spot similar principles being taught in different videos and really feels like a milestone right now for me in my own progress
WOW. I just realized resolve, as an emotion, is actually a PTSD trigger for me. In my abusive childhood I was manipulated into doing things that were wrong and harmful but I was resolved to do them because I thought they were right. Then of course bad things happened. No wonder I avoid resolve like the plague now I am an adult! I never would have realized this without this new insight that resolve is an emotion and knowing that emotions can be triggers.
Same here, what should we do now
Pda.
Cure it by feeling the trauma emotions, and doing it anyway.
@@nachtorchis Please don't give advice like that. It is well known that this is not helpful for most. It can be retraumatizing.
There are better things like EMDR, Somatic Experiencing or neurofeedback to just name a few.
you are doing excellent work, congrats. keep it going
LOL 10:50 "If you look at all this" Dr. K says, while showing literally just a pink blur "it's actually quite complicated."
Thought this was gonna be another discipline video that leans heavily on productivity jargon, but boy was I wrong! Really enjoyed these new insights and felt more encouraged to understand my emotions as teachers! Thank you for this video. Hope you're doing alright wherever you are. 💚
your feelings are irrational
I put off watching your content for a long time (ADHD), but I am VERY glad I finally started watching your videos 💜 Most of what I've heard from you so far is not new information for me, but you explain it differently than I've heard before. I like to think of all you truth sayers & teachers as different chefs who all have the same set of ingredients: each person's dish provides a different appreciation for the foods.
I had a major life change recently, and I'm trying to get back on track. Your content is full of much-needed reminders, especially this particular video. I deeply appreciate the work you're doing, and can't thank you enough 💕 keep up the great work!!
7:32 Doubt (wavering mind) is the opposite of discipline
9:01 cultivate resolve to achieve discipline
12:52 Snapshot when you feel resolved
• 13:53 Pick one thing to be resolved about
• don't choose something important to you
• 30min of focusing resolve (Morning)
• non-emotionally gauging resolve
17:12 After 30 days, can move onto a more important resolve
or just watch the video
@gustavopantoja3980 this was helpful for someone like me who watched the whole thing and wanted to go back and re watch certain sections to better let it absorb into my mind without having to manually find the precise section
Don't forget 5:45 Bucket on the Cat
MVP
Thank you for this ❤
This is what’s going on with me. I am so numb about everything that I have a hard time maintaining even the simplest habits like sleeping and eating because everything is meaningless.
I needed a video like this to understand part of that problem. Thank you!
Yea I know what this feels like too. Just keep believin' things will work out.
Ohhh same here. Everything just feels…blah. I don’t really care anymore.
Sorry to read replies saying you are experiencing the same numbness. Let’s work on this resolve thing. Maybe it works. I mean, it makes some sense.
Oh yes, emotions and friends are the 2 ingredients for sleeping well, for me. And my family didn't incentivise either
Really struggle with this as well. I figured I would be extra disciplined if I just kill my emotions completely to avoid the chaos. Nope, I just feel dead and can't truly bring myself to do anything without feeling like my brain is burning. My sleep got completely messed up too, I go to bed stressed and wake up feeling the same.
Thanks! This is my first year teaching high school: I’d only taught in university. I’m teaching Math to seniors who don’t plan on going to college and think they’ll never use math again in life. Yet they need a math class to graduate
Highly unmotivated, behavioral challenges, years of negativity and low performance around math. I’ve been struggling with how to get through each class
Thinking about resolve is helping me think about how to organize the class!
You watched this video. You are filled with determination.
you : discipline :: mouse : cheese
no
ah a fellow undertale fan
discipline is not punishment, it's more a life system, people have mixed the 2 incorrectly for centuries
Agree to disagree. A word can have more than one meaning.
…Although, I suspect you have a good point. Discipline as punishment rarely fosters discipline as lifestyle
Agree. Julie Andrews said: “Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.”
I does involve punishment, however, so no.
@@Virjunior01 What is 'punishment'? With discipline there is no such thing as punishment except what you have labeled as a punishment. If you hate everything you have to do then of course you're gonna see it as a punishment. You choose to see it as that. Two people can go through the same tasks; studying for their exams. One might see it as a punishment from their teachers, another a privilege as they get to learn.
Discipline isn't a punishment, it is an act of self-love that saves you from punishment (the consequences of your lack of action). Doing the hard work is easy, living with the consequences of not doing it is hard.
@@slick2876 not necessarily. The greatest acknowledgements of punishment we have in modern society are numerous. Of course, personal philosophy can skew perceptions, but think of this common one from the US Army:
"Pain is weakness leaving the body."
And going further back, "no pain, no gain."
Different things constitute pain to different people depending upon any number of factors. In my case, one is totally physical. I've picked up learning nunchaku and have knocked certain places sore quite a bit while training only 5 techniques, but have come out stronger each time.
To me, trying to eliminate the concept of punishment is as silly as believing punishment be required for any great success.
I was literally faster than Andrew Tate with a flail weapon after only a month because I loved the way it made me feel, going from practicing only after the sun went down in the park, to boosted confidence even with meager skills, in broad daylight with families and parties everywhere.
Last month, some kids at a cookout saw me practicing with my eyes closed for an hour, came up and asked "how do you do that?" Honestly, simple as I am, I asked what they meant. So they pointed at the chucks hanging from my neck. So I told them "just get some and try."
There is no correct way for everyone to think or feel.
Discipline comes from the environment and having a network of support. You need an environment where there is some slack, where you don't need to put in 110% effort just to meet the minimum expectations. You also need people around you to encourage and support you so you don't feel alone and have all the pressure piled onto you where any mistake ruins your life.
I literally just said this the other day! It's so hard to be disciplined when it feels like everything falls on your shoulders.
i am alone and do not have trouble to get important stuff done.
@@raze956 I can see why you're alone
@@nbonasoroThat was rude of you. They were pointing out an inconsistency, not attacking you.
@k.d.2589 He is being contrarian. He did not elaborate on how he accomplishes this, he just made an unprovable assertion for the sake of arguing. I agree my comment was rude, but that was my intention.
I just want to say - thank you, Healthy Gamer GG. Relatavism aside, you are an objectively good human being. And you truly make an impact on a lot of us. Speaking for myself, as an individual at a rather hard point in life with no one close to help, your channel is truly a breath of fresh air, chock full of profound insight that many people pay hundreds, if not thousands of dollars a year for. You're doing the world a service; a world inundated with social media, which is furthermore inundated with negativity everywhere. Not to mention the pervasive loneliness haunting many of us. Without getting too wordy or simpy, I simply wanted to say thank you sir. 🙏
no
Best wishes as you go through this difficult time. I’m sure there is someone who wants to help you. People are really wired to help each other.
I remember working in a research lab during my undergrad, and struggled meeting expectations. The labs PI (my mentor) scolded me gently one day. In his lecture he told me "you need to be emotionally invested".
I've been carrying those words with me everyday, in everything I hope to achieve.
This video brought it all together - ty
If discipline is an emotion, and the people who lack it- are numb- we numb our emotions globally... cultivate. Thank you!
I remember seeing a body-heat map of emotion a few years ago and the map for depression really stood out to me. The numbness is a great way of explaining it. I once described myself as moody to a therapist and she said that was good but I don’t feel like moodiness and emotion are the same thing (at least for me, I’m open to better definitions).
It’s been so long since I’ve felt “resolve”. My habits from before my dark night like exercise, cleaning, work ethic, etc. still come automatically. I even quit smoking habit cold-turkey a couple years ago; so I feel like I have a lot of discipline. But I feel like nothing offers me resolve anymore.
draw cats for five minutes every day
Work on defects of character aka work on cultivate the virtues❤ which are the opposite of defects. Just an idea.
Because at your core, you realize none of this matters, nor has a point.
People _create_ meaning for various reasons or towards different goals, but at the end of the day... you know.
One thing that might help you find something to resolve is to learn how to care about stuff. When I was going through school it felt "uncool" to care too much about things and that everything should just come "naturally" without having to try hard or be emotionally invested in the outcome. I now realize this as a toxic idea that's held me back for years. Perhaps if you have similar limiting beliefs try letting them go and see what you gravitate towards?
@jackienatla217 It's a bit hard to describe what I mean. Like emotionally involved, not necessarily in your performance but in the act of it. There are times when you're in the "just trying it out" phase where it's probably best if you're not too attached.
But I guess what I want to say is that if you start to notice a little fire growing inside you, it might be okay to make a conscious choice to stoke it up, and let it occupy more space in you.
I’m a recent graduate studying to get into medical school and for the past year and a half I’ve been feeling numb and forcing my self to be emotionally grey to get through the stress of school and post grad life. This video was treasure trove of which I resonated so much with. Recently one of my friends brought up the fact that I suck at talking about myself and my emotions. After reflecting on this I came to find that I just struggle putting my emotions into words. I think this video is the start of a very transformative part of my journey. Thanks for sharing your wisdom
The part of numbing is relatable, sometimes you may feel scared of dedicating all of your time on such emotion and you rely on distractions, but inside you know it is better to forget about your surroundings for a moment.
wow, this makes SO much sense based on my experience. my problem is i feel resolve ALL the time, but for different things, and it changes every day. but they were always for those really big, important things, so that’s why i couldn’t keep them.
but recently i had to perform, and i was super nervous. my whole life i’ve based my self worth on my ability to perform for an audience. so earlier in the day i told myself over and over for about 10 mins getting ready: “you deserve to play what you love whether people like it or not. whether you make a mistake doesn’t determine your worth. you deserve to be heard whether you’re good or not. you deserve to do what you love.”
and now i’m realizing THAT was resolve! AND IT WORKED!!! my performance went better than i could’ve imagined.
I don't get it, what does it mean to be globally at 16:00 . Is it something abstract? or just pure positivity/gratitude?
How did you relate it in your life
please help me with this 🙂
I kind of started doing this already. Almost a year ago, I was struggling with my studies. It was difficult to motivate myself, and I would burn out after a week even when I was able to get motivated. At the end of last year, something clicked, I made a serious attitude shift (which I guess is sort of like resolve) and just started saying to myself every morning, “bring the energy”. Really simple, vague phrase, but I know what it means to me. 9 months later, I am significantly more motivated, I haven’t burnt out once, and things genuinely don’t feel as difficult anymore. What I noticed is that it bleeds into other facets of your life. Working during the summer, I was able to stick to tasks and solve problems that I know would have stopped me dead in my tracks before. Interactions with my friends and loved ones are more positive. Self-improvement is very much a momentum based thing. I’m not forcing myself to change, I’m allowing myself to change.
This was beautiful to read! It’s a process for sure to find balance and motivate ourselfs. Thank you for sharing! And that last line, “I’m not forcing myself to change, I’m allowing y myself to change” shows how constructive a change of perspective is! ✨🩷
Great content. I think this is why adhd folks procrastinate so much. At the mast minute, they can feel the fear and become resolved to finish the job. Using this
“I stumbled about this during yoga” SAME. I stumbled across the idea of resolve thru yoga, and it was very profound.
Day 9999 of Dr. K posting exactly what I needed to hear
Thats either Dr. K being amazing or you being f'ed up😂
Time travel
27 years??
😂😂
The connection between doubt and resolve as it pertains to discipline really helped me out. I really doubt myself as everything I do wrong gets scrutinized heavily by my parents but everything I do right at most gets a "good for you."
After quitting my PhD, I have this strange feeling, like staying between high and low and I am also unmotivated to accomplish tasks. Now I understand the reason. Thank you so much for helping me figure out the issue
This is so amazing and life changing i wish i could send this to everyone i know. But i also know that everyone has to be on their own journey and needs the WILL to change and listen to this video and actually live by this, so its not really useful for me to bombard them with this much. Whoever needs this video right now probably found it. Thank you so much! I am amazed and excited by your content, its always a pleasure to listen to you talk!
I've watched countless videos about developing discipline and they all kind of say the same thing like create time blocks, keep your phone away etc. They worked for me to some extend but at the end I always gave up. Hopefully the results will be different with a different viewpoint Dr K showed us.
For me discipline is picking something you would like to develop (for me its meditation) and repeat it every day. But dr. K mentioned something very interesting which is sankalpa (or resolution for something we deserve), and that I think is what I am doing trough meditation. When I begin meditating I will repeat myself that my meditation is for that part of me who suffers and wants to be protected and safe. Then I say my meditation is for all the people who are suffering in this moment. Then for all the living beings, suffering or happy. And finally for God, the supreme person. So in other words I am offering the fruits of my practice to God (developing trust in God's guidance) and at the same time I assure that my suffering needs caring and attention. I hope this will help your understanding.
@@tudorscutariu1012 thats beautiful man, that almost made me tear up reading how you guide your meditation. being that mindful is something i definitely want to practice, because as youve illustrated, we need that safe space for ourselves to feel but also move forward
Hey the fact you reseaching it is good you know. Like you are helping yourself by doing this process. Maybe one day everything will click in place from all the different information info you got
This really made things clear to me. Always wondered why stuff like implementation intention/writing out clear goals worked that well. It clears up the doubts of(what, when, where, how much, etc)
Excellent observation!
So much useful things to learn from listening to the content in this channel. I wish more people knew about you guys because it sure has helped me a ton. From depressed giga introvert to actually living life and being decent at handling every situation thrown at me. The amount of growth I've had with the guidance of this channel is amazing. The concepts and things this channel has helped me understand is priceless. Again, I'd like to say thank you Dr. K and HealthyGamer! ❤
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not just pushing out BS for views but actually tell useful information, definetly gonna sub and do more research on this topic
Anecdotally: doing meditation daily in seiza, fudoza, kiza and lotus sits (invariably painful traditional Japanese sits) quickly taught me that the source of discipline is *concentration* (Doctor K spoke of wavering mind). The conscious act of choosing what to pay attention to refreshes willpower, and choosing to acceptingly concentrate on pain, sorrow, shame etc weakens the control they can have on us. It became pretty apparent that lack of discipline and also bodily strength in the average person usually comes from an untrained mind.
And learning to choose to pay attention to how our legs fall unconscious, how we choose to give up our legs on sits, is also training to learn how to give up our body, our life as this single mortal being. And when we can give up life as a whole, it's easier to give up elements of it, such as alcoholism, or the desire to feel envied, or our other inferior or ignoble ways.
12:25, Cultivate Resolve on a daily basis.
1. Notice when you FEEL resolved. Take a snapshot of it, close your eyes and be aware how it makes you feel at the moment.
2. Sankalpa (means resolved in Sanskirt): Pick one thing to be resolved to; one general and one specific at EASY TO MEDIUM difficulty. At first, PICK THE SPECIFIC, SMALLER Sankalpa, the smaller resolve you're working on.
Ideally, every day, close your eyes and think about that resolve (refer to step 1). Spend 5-10 minutes in the morning and FEEL what the resolve is like. Think through that resolve and give it a CALM space in your mind.
3. After say ~30 days, pick the more global issue that you want to resolve. It is going to be more emotionally charged, and that's perfect. For ~10-20 minutes, and go back to step 1 and think about that resolve, AND LET THOSE EMOTIONS COME UP during meditative practice. Go about it daily (as best as possible). Those emotions will cultivate like a fire, even bigger than step 2 (smaller issue) and those positive emotions will carry over to discipline.
YOU WANT TO CULTIVATE RESOLVE ON A DAILY BASIS, THOSE EMOTIONS ARE LIKE A FIRE (in a tremendous way, giving momentum internally to emotions and processes, and externally to results). NOT WILLPOWER, USE HABITS BUT IT IS CRUCIAL TO HAVE THE INTERNAL ~5-10 MINUTES, DAILY, MORNING MEDITATIVE PRACTICE OF SANKALPA.
17:45, people who are undisciplined ARE NUMB.
Not having high highs or low lows, or are overwhelmed by emotions (they're like a drag). When life isn't going are way, we become alexithymic by numbing our emotions through sedations and distractions (weed, video games, pron, technology, etc...). Emotions SHOULD NOT BE NUMB, so we're here to supercharge the emotions (the positive ones at least) that we can FEEL and CULTIVATE that warm, fuzzy feeling that builds up to a fire, on a day-to-day basis.
It kind of makes sense to me now after watching your videos. I have an aggregate understanding why i am such a mess right now. I spend most of my days sitting in front of the computer playing video games, i just thought it was fun. But i realize now why it's fun because it sets aside negative emotions for a while, and never processed. Now years of doing that made me numb to my emotions, and now i also realized why i can't follow through with my plans, because it numbs me from feeling the resolve i need to act like a disciplined person. Thank you for all the work you do for us, for free. ❤
This video was a HUGE eye opener for me. So grateful for your work Dr. K. It’s informative and most importantly it is practical. I can immediately use this and cultivate it. You’ve genuinely changed my life for the better and I will be forever grateful I found your channel.
8:45 damn... I have come up to this conclusion too on my own somehow, as far as I had known I have been very undisciplined as a person, but few years ago, I had somehow reduced my bmi from obese level 2 to normal... People around me started saying I have become discipline but I didn't feel the same way. After sometime of retrospection, I realized it wasn't discipline, it was actually resolve which helped me keep up the deit and workout
The difference I see between resolve and discipline is, resolve I had for this one specific thing, whereas if someone is disciplined, they can do focus at anything they choose to
M E D I A O F F L I N E
Offline-medien
For me it resonates with Bob Proctor. If you make a decision, you have a purpose and it's easy to get exited and stay disciplined. Doubting yourself drags you off the track.
What I learned from your video is more like "discipline is fueled/supported by positive emotions", and resolve is a easier goal to work towards, the feeling of "I'm doing something good for myself/I'm finishing some work today" is a positive emotion. Thanks for the video!
I've been binge watching your channel lately and basically every single video has something I could take away from and put it to use. Thank you for helping us with these great videos!
It’s great that you find the channel very useful but you might want to consider taking breaks in between videos to let the information sink in. Dr K has actually spoken about this in a couple videos. I’ll link them if I remember what they’re titled. Have a nice day ☀️
Wow, this is kinda the whole process I went through subconsciously over a period of months, both when I quit Kratom, and then vaping. Having lived through that twice and having you label and explain the psychology and even physiology of all that makes me hopeful for the future. Thank you!
Wow those two things are like two of my most extreme addictions [psychologically-I have quit both before, (well, cigarettes, not vaping) and although I didn't use kratom as frequently at the time... maybe a bit physically, assuming I didn't taper off, but I think tapering is the best way to go about it].
Congratulations for making those steps towards a healthier you! It's encouraging to see someone else kick some of the vices I struggle with 😊
I just lived through a traumatizing, unjust experience and was frozen emotionally for several weeks. I must practice for upcoming concert but I had lost my motivation. Yesterday I realised that I was doubting my ability to perform. Once that clicked in my mind, my motivation sprang back into life. Today your video on determination pops up on my feed. Knowing that coincidences are nudges to direct our attention, I listened to your video. My experience is exactly what you have described. My self doubt due to trauma, was preventing me from investing time in my performance. It was quite difficult to work through things to reach that awareness. Your discussion on the Buddhist philosophy of opposites being in the same category had the effect of being the last piece of the puzzle.
This is one of the most powerful videos that I've seen so far. I've had a very long way with compulsive behaviour, and lack of discipline. And the technique and the state of resolveness is something I also realized myself, and it 100% resonates with the video. So far, this particular emotion of resolveness is actually the most effective thing for me personally, while fighting my compulsions.
Also, it's very important to emphasize this - it REALLY should be done in the first hour of the day. The moment you wake up, is the easiest moment for you to direct your emotions the way you need them. Or to realize your resolve and abstain from doing something in the morning that would compromise your day.
Don't underestimate what's been said there, real talk. This particular emotion is what actually gives you the flow, you just straightforward execute, and you feel like you do what you should.
I think something becoming more and more apparent is that emotions are at the root of pretty much everything we experience. We really are emotional beings having an emotional experience, yet I think that we don't often see it that way. We like to think of ourselves as super logical, but I wonder how often emotion really rules the "logical" part of ourselves as well.
Logic is emotion, emotions play into logic as it does everything else. To make a truly logical decision you have to consider the emotional factors.
I related more so to the overwhelm of emotion and not being disciplined. My emotions are very high and low when I am unable to focus and carry out the things that are important to me. I’m always searching for that high to get motivated.
Been struggeling getting motivation to study the last couple weeks and I’ve been feeling super shitty and stressed out about it. This really helped me mentally to start getting back on track. Thanks a lot
my self made quote over the years is “you are what you do, not what you think” it brought me pretty far consistently.
Now on my 5th or 6th Dr. K video that’s changed my life 😂
This video has put into words something that I partially knew, but couldn’t string together. My biggest problem is that I’ve either let people put doubt in me, or they’ve forced it onto me. One of my teachers, my sisters, coworkers etc. Other people’s doubt has run my life. And because of that, I’ve been profoundly, mind bogglingly bored. And because I immediately doubt myself, I stop before I even start, or maybe after a few minutes of trying. I get this horrible, antsy feeling that goes away when I quit and go back to whatever mind numbing bullshit, like, social media, TV, etc. and when the day comes to an end and it’s almost time to sleep, I’m not tired, I’m not exhausting, I’m not fulfilled. Then I drink to forget it, and I stay up late to stave off the beginning of the next day of nothing.
I have very similar problem
Described my life right there.
Described that horrible antsy feeling in me to a tee! I am not resolved to do the work I do in my day job because some of this product is likely to go out and harm others. I act it out just in ways you described, the random-a** bouts of fatigue, the numbing distractions, etc. I need to cultivate resolve so I can gracefully move on.
Wait there others this mind-blowing? I know where I'm headed after this comment.
@@universal_handle booze palace?
I absolutely agree, every emotion that has had an impact on my life has always been found within a circuit. It's not just the feeling that makes us wanna do things, it's the thoughts after that feeling, the feelings after that thought that propell this chain reaction making it possible for us to think in complex terms because emotions have this very unique characteristic that they neurologically lead us in a direction and have so much POWER for us to take huge action on JUST a feeling we might have. Think about dramas, in which somebody might feel jealous of his woman sleeping with another man, so he kills that man even though it goes against his morals. Feelings are the one thing most powerful in our life because they can, as seen in the example, restructure our entire brain, temporarily and have more influence than any habit or repetition might have on you.
Most importantly, feelings are also DYNAMIC.
This lets me know I’m on the right path but finding this probably cuts my discovery curve by a couple of years in self healing. Thank you.
The brain picture got censored?
yes, last time I watched this video it wasn't
Thanks for all you share with us Dr. K!
As someone who has lived with many different cats, cool story bro 😂
(FYI for the non-cat-people, peaceful meditation time is something you definitely *won't* get by putting a bucket over your cat.)
a 3 foot thick concrete blast containing bucket
I had one strange cat who would be perfectly content to be hidden under a bucket. She would have sat there peacefully, at least until she got too hungry. Of course, most cats wouldn't stand for such a thing.
Wow!! This video is the most concise and practical way of looking at discipline 😮
All of the knowledge around discipline would have you believe that you have to cultivate your willpower to develop the "habit" of discipline... Needless to say, I've always struggled with this and so felt like a failure... You've touched on all of the things I struggle with: the "how to", numbing my emotions, doubt... Thanks so much for your work! I'm now resolved to cultivating my Sankalpa :)
As a person who values helping others, i just want to say thank you and i love you🙏🏽 this channel will be remembered as a godsend
I'm gonna be the one to say it this time; Dr. K's videos always come out at the most fitting time, & nail my niche psychological issue perfectly. Thanks Dr. K ♡
It's insane. It's literally last night I was questioning myself on where to go after learning how to listen to myself and acceptance on what I've been doing whether it's good or bad. I was thinking about "envisioning" literally last night for my next journey of understanding myself and this video popped up 6 hours later, talking about what I can do for it and you have the term for it too: resolve. What a great timing! Thank you, Dr K and Healthy Gamer GG!
Wow - I've been having the same thought process too - but not to the point where I'm trying to be a 'discipline' robot; if that makes any sense. Rather I believe it's important to discover ourselves in ways that are creative, resourceful, and curious. Discipline is one thing, but its another to follow your heart and take any sort of information with a grain of salt, and not always worry what others think - and that can actually be the true hallmark of discipline, and self confidence.
After my teacher reminded us that our sadhana is not supposed to be easy, I came to terms with something that I really needed to do and I have made it my sadhana. It’s been two weeks that I have been disciplined and have found joy in doing it. I can definitely say that resolve was a big part of it.
Thank you so much for this talk, Dr. K, because you have just revolutionized my life. I have always struggled with self discipline, and for a long time, I thought it was done through self punishment, but it didn't always work. I have gone through multiple therapists, each one telling me "You need to do xyz to get better," and I posed the question "How? How do I get myself to do these things?" and they would be dumbfounded. This is the answer I've been searching for, and I'm putting it into practice immediately. Thank you.
Dr. K is super amazing and insightful, no doubt about it. He's the undisputed king of UA-cam (especially when it comes to personal development and various other topics).
“I deserve to be healthy.” Wow… putting in those words, ‘deserve’… that alone made me tear up. That gives me resolve. Thank you Dr K ❤
I’ve been working TIRELESSLY for the last year on my portfolio for an art program, and struggling insanely hard with adhd and trying to overcome myself in order to do what I need and want to, and falling flat constantly. This past couple months I’ve been so demotivated and frustrated that the idea of trying in itself became too overwhelming and I’m met with a wall of doubt and upset before I start my day. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me, and why trying my best was never enough. But I’m looking at it the wrong way. Only recently I’ve been thinking about how discipline is just the practise of reinforcing motivation. This video just came to me at the right time for me to listen and absorb. I’m hopeful for the first time in a while that I can do this :) I’m trying this approach full heartedly. Thank you. The way you present information is beyond lovely!
Im at my 3rd day, it did feel good when i did the task after my resolve practice, but its still not THERE. Lets hope it actually helps us.
Now I am even more confused with what discipline is. I am really struggling with getting things done. And contrary to what you have said in the video, I do feel passionate about what I do. The problem is that my emotions change rapidly, even by my smallest faults or unexpected obstacles, and that heavily affects my productivity. This results in me quitting things I was happy about because of the reasons that have nothing do with those activities. People around constantly tell my that I lack discipline, which is the reason why I cannot force myself to do stuff when I am in no mood, until I go back to normal. Recently I understood that I do need to become much more disciplined in order to not ruin my life completely.
But now I here from you that discipline is not about willpower and doing things that I don't like at the moment but which may be beneficial to me. You claim that its a complete opposite.
I write all this not because this channel was a great helping hand for me on different quesions about myself. Thank you for all your knowledge and wisdow that you pass on to all those who need it.
Best regards form another gifted kid struggling with being an adult.
Resolve isn’t just “if you are emotional you have resolve”, it’s a positive emotion. If you are not emotional you will not have resolve because you are dampening both positive and negative emotions. But if you are emotional, sometimes you will have resolve and sometimes you will not.
Discipline is a result. You can be disciplined by having resolve (a positive emotion), or you can be disciplined by spending willpower. It sounds like you have issues spending the willpower to be disciplined when you are not in the mood to be resolved. But I think that as long as you accept when you have bad times and know that it will pass, you can at least try to do the minimum to maintain the activities that make you happy so that you can resume them when you are feeling better.
I think it's vague and ambiguous to say that you feel passionate about what you do. Oftentimes a passion for achievements for instance, is mistaken for a true passion for things. So if you're like "OMG I gotta get this PhD done at last because everyone in my family has PhD and I can't be worse" or "Imma get this post at uni to boost my career" and you describe that as "well, sure I'm passionate about maths" then that's imprecise and misleading.
I'm not saying that's what you're doing but you might be. If you are prone to resignation just because you made a mistake. I mean the greatest inventors like Benjamin Franklin or mathematicians like Euler made a ton of mistakes and got a ton of results wrong but that didn't tarnish their careers in the end. *Now if your goal is to become impeccable and great and all that*, then I can see how making a small mistake turns into a major obstacle and makes you resign. But that means you're not interested in the study subject but in the "fame" that accompanies being successful with it.
Two sides here.
1) look into executive disfunction and rejection sensitivity disphoria. Both have strong ties to adhd. They may fit what your describing.
2) what is your resolve? Are you driven to be the greatest Pokémon master that ever was? Or is your resolve to go catch Pokémon? If your drive is to be the greatest, that will stab you in the back every time you are anything less then perfect. If your drive to to just catch and train as many Pokémon as possible, if one gets away... that's fine, it happens.
I've struggled with exercise for YEARS. I'd decide I needed to be fit, and I'd muscle up the willpower to exercise for a few weeks and then I'd get sick and miss a session, or life would get in the way, and the chain would be broken and I'd stop for months/years before repeating.
Now, I've decided I want to be healthy. I've decided that I can be healthy.
Now, the holidays have done a number on my exercise routine. But I also look forward to when I'll get a break long enough to go for a walk around the neighborhood.
When I started it took me an hour to go a half mile. This last Friday I did 3 miles in an hour and ten minutes, a new record.
Build a resolve that allows for setbacks, and then play eye of the tiger while you envision a training montage that makes you excited to do it and also acknowledges the setbacks you will have.
Media offline at 10:39 ! But great video as usual!!!
This video is one of your masterpieces, truly agree on every word. I knew discipline wasn't about will power, but still could't properly frame it, so this video comes in the perfect time to help me study hard and get to MED school this october :)) luv ya
"I'm never playing another game of league of legends". And here I am, watching this video again after getting it from a text I've written a while ago, trying to somehow reach my resolves again. New years' gathering (and everything that came along with it) had changed my routine deeply, and my first "runaway path" was drinking and...... playing. It is painful (yet fun). At the same time I rationally agree with myself about the dangers realted to playing league of legends (especially for me) I eager to do so, in order to just keep awake and I don't actually know why. Happy new year!!
Thank you Dr.K, this came at the perfect time. I've always struggled trying to make myself do things without feeling the emotional state that I wanted to feel. I've struggled with apathy a lot and this is a really similar to the process of gratitude journaling. I'm very excited to cultivate resolve. Thank you.
Thank you. This really does help frame things better.
This might just be me but one thing that really helps cultivate this sense of resolve or commitment is remembering the pain of doing the thing I don't want to do - I havent had processed food in over 4 months (after a year of trying and lapsing) and if I ever get cued by my environment (ads, social events, etc) instead of focusing on the pleasure of the food I remind myself of how much pain those foods cause me and instantly it's like I don't want them anymore and I am even more resolved and committed to eating clean. I also overcame a lifelong obsessive compulsion this way. You can adapt this to any situation, for example for studying this could be like if you're tempted to slack off, remind yourself of the pain of getting bad grades. For a lot of people avoiding pain is a good motivator, sometimes a better motivator than an abstract positive reward.
Wow I always thought of discipline as pushing aside negative emotions and doing the thing I should do even when I didn’t want to. and yeah cultivating will-power to just PUSH no mater what. Cultivating resolve, stoking the fire, it’s all an energizing framing as opposed to the punitive one I had before. You’re putting great things in this world dr K
Thank you for sharing. It does make sense that once one no longer doubt, task becomes simpler. As we are on the topic of addiction, I watched another video about it and it was intriguing. It's saying that addiction is not the issue, but the symptoms of the issue. We are tackling the symptoms but not getting to the root of it, which really resonated with me. It was talking about addiction as a coping mechanism for other things that are lacking in life. Just wanted to share about it :) And on the aspect of discipline~ totally agree with you. You will naturally have discipline if you are in alignment with yourselves. We are often too much distracted by all other objectives and sidequest that we lose our focus of things in life.. which making "discipline" hard.
When it said "offline media" I felt that
Just making some timestamps for myself, and whomever else wants them. I get the feeling this will be one of those videos I keep coming back to.
12:48 - Notice when you feel resolved. Memorize that feeling.
13:30 - Sankalpa: Pick one easy or medium thing that you want to be resolved towards.
14:47 - At the beginning of your day, for five to ten minutes, sit, close your eyes, and concentrate on stoking your resolve.
15:58 - For bigger and harder goals, concentrate for ten to twenty minutes. Allow yourself to get emotional.
17:42 - Emotional numbness gets in the way.
Thank you!!!
Fantastic, thoughtful, brilliant. Thanks so much. Have found a uncanny valley in a lot of this discussion that doesn’t seem to include parenting (1, 2 or 3 kids, blended families, separation /two houses) Which is a huge point of complexity for many of us, related to various forms of resolve, and emotion. Everything you have shared in the video is true, and also the complexity of parenting adds some layers to it. Thank you. All the best.
Thank you so much for this video!❤
I was doing this unconsciously for the past year and recently I felt my willpower was running out. I didn't realise I had stopped focusing on the emotions from which this power was coming. I'm back at it now.
makes so much sense now. Ive been a business owner for over a decade and i had the drive to work 12+ hours a day without fail, but as soon as i started working for someone else who is unfit to optimize my capacities and bottlenecks my progress, i suddenly lost all discipline and enthusiasm, and have a sense of being stuck in limerance for it would be a perfect situation for me if only. But they are 74 and live in a state of survival mode which sees my advancements to bettering their processes as a threat, so i get gas lit for their inability to communicate.
So i am taking as much time off as i can to learn digital art and peogramming, so i can leave, whixh i am certain i can figure out, and that gives me a lot of drive to accomplish, and disxipline to show up daily
How do you learn digital art?
@@linahol6067 online course or online videos are amazing resources, having a good foundation in traditional drawing is helpful but not necessary
@@linahol6067 learn basic art fundementals then digital art fundementals (brushes, etc) and then apply that to an application which you want to draw on (learn it’s features)
@@linahol6067watch speedpaints too for demonstration
@@chxrryery4188 thank you