I leaned this the very, extremely hard way. I’m just going to say this. If a man is interested in you, YOU WILL KNOW. NO DOUBT. NO CONFUSION. It doesn’t matter how busy he is. If he is interested in you HE WILL DEDICATE TIME TO YOU. HE WILL MAKE TIME FOR YOU. Yeah there’s going to be some times when he’s really unavailable, but overall if you’re waiting more than an hour for him to respond (unless he’s at work or just extremely busy) HE IS NOT INTERESTED. YOU’RE NOT HIS PRIORITY. There is no “oh maybe his phone died” or “oh maybe he’s sleeping” “maybe his phone stopped working” “maybe he’s too busy” yeah he’s busy alright. Too busy for you only. Men make it VERY obvious when they’re interested in a woman and also when they’re uninterested. I’ve seen both sides. To whichever sis is reading this and is in a similar situation please respect yourself and just leave. I wish I had someone tell me this but I had to find out myself. In the end, you will be the only one hurting (as I am now). You will doubt your self-worth and start to doubt your future. Just let that man go. He’s worthless. You have so much value and if a man can’t see it he’s a waste.
JazakhAllah for sharing your experience sis! We all make mistakes and have to learn some things the hard way. I definitely needed this reminder. May Allah bless you with the right man who will value you, cherish you, and lead you into Jannah. Sending you love 🤎
My story is.... I had crush on my classmate in childhood & then his family moved to canada , after 15 years we met online & exchanged to each other about our lives, again i fell in love with him & he also confessed his feelings, always he texted me first and he listened to me very well, but suddenly after 3 to 4 month i noticed that he did not text me much as before & slowly slowly i felt that i am not that much important to him as compare to before... I know that i should let him go & forget him & i also tried it but still i can't forget him even i miss him so much.. How should i change myself & move on how....?
“ Where focus goes energy goes”All you have to do is to refocus all that energy .Enjoy your life , Pursue your hobbies , set tangible goals , become a better version of yourself. Definitely work on your spiritual growth, help others, and above all seek and trust God.
Right on bro , see women hide many things in there heart they are not open as we men are , if a wife opens up to a good decent discussion life would be normal and amazingly beautiful, but nooooo they are negative most of the time plus they don’t treat men as Allah asked and don’t appreciate the hard work that we men do to put food on the table
Well you should ask a direct question to him , to know his expectations, people tend to loose interest when u don’t communicate much and u wait for the other person to type , be direct instead of watching over the phone waiting for him to respond. Don’t keep high expectations from anyone in life u will just end up hurting yourself in the end
No one should chase a partner, you shouldn’t have to stress yourself out or fight for someone to love you! That type of relationship is doomed from the start.
Subhanallah. May Allah grant you a husband whom together you will build a good home. Not to worry, the right one will see the beauty in your skin colour. You don’t need every man to want you, just the right one insha’Allah.
You aren't being rejected because of your brown skin, you're being rejected because they are racist/have toxic, unIslamic colorism issues. You don't want someone who would look down on the beautiful color Allah created your skin! Allah is protecting you by showing their ugliness before you're married. Alhamdilullah.
Are you sure the color is the issue and not the overall look and self-confidence? Look at non-indian reverts may be. My own brother loves dark indian woman, so are other Europeans. By the way, my skin is the palest white and I am quite blessed looks wise but I also have issues with men lol. In my country they call me ''feta-cheese''. Hugs and lots of duaa. x
@@vnikol-o7b well i feel colour is the issue because Indians generally dislike brown skin.. but alhamdulillah I'm happy however Allah has made me and whoever is written for us will find us beautiful however we are inshallah
If you keep chasing a guy before marriage, then be prepared to keep chasing him once you get married A man that doesn't chase you is either not all that into you or is out of touch with his masculine instinct of provision and protection Why would you ever want a husband where you have to do all the heavy lifting? Chasing a man inevitably sets you up for failure Know your worth, lean back and rest in your femininity knowing that what is meant for you cannot pass you by A man that needs to be chased is not marriage material If it feels like too much hard work then that's because that man is not intended for you
Trust me she is 100 %right. I chased a very shy guy for 1 year. At the end, he said :" why are you putting too much effort to make this relationship work, I feel like you do just because you re, desperately, looking for a husband". I was shocked, humiliated and broken at the same time. I walked away but, still feeling hurt. Not because I lost someone I truly loved but , because... my self respect🤦♀️. Now, am with someone else, who is afraid to loose me, because I didn't take his role. 😊 Just DONT CHASE a man, just don't do it.
As a father to 4 beautiful daughter, I can say you are right! I want the men to be the one that come to ask their hands in marriage from me while I access them. You are right! It’s in innate nature for men to chose the women they want!
"When you make a man the goal, that is the beginning of the end.." - Nafisa Pearlz 2023. I love your humor, and I love everything about you. May Allah guide every one of us, Ameen.
💯 Things I do not pursue: men. If they actually want you, they will pursue you and do so the proper way: they will ask for your wali and go to him. If they want to keep it private/secret between the two of you and not involve your wali/families, their intentions are not good for you. The only (emotional) running you should do is AWAY from sketchy men.
I am in my thirties and have never been approached by anyone nor have i ever had a getting to know conversation with a guy. I grew up in a town with alot of Muslims and my family is a well known family and I literally grew up in a masjid. I have never had any suitors or interests shown by their families. I have done an apprenticeship in a different town far away for a few years with also alot of Muslims. Then I came back and studied at university for years also with alot of possibilities of meeting someone. Yet it never happened. Now I am a working woman , live by myself bcs I had to move out to work in a different place. I work with people so I encounter so many every day also in an area with loads of Muslims. Nothing nada. I was never bothered all this time but I am feeling my families pressure. My parents are hurting themselves mentally and giving me the psychological pressure. My sisters are talking behind my back. To top it all off, my niece who I have literally raised and who is 11 years younger than me has met a suitor who she will be marrying in the upcoming time. They are even hiding this from me out of fear of my reaction ? Idk. At first I felt very humiliated by this fact but in the end I came to accept this as marriage is fate. Instead, I am working on self development, use my free time to learn and improve my deen. I cannot let a day pass where I do not think about the fact I won't be able to get children forever but that is also fate. If Allah has written me children then I'll have them. But the progressing age of a woman also makes it hard for them to find a suitor as they would rather want to marry someone in their prime years. There are so many beautiful Muslim girls out there. In the end, I pray I come to terms with what Allah has decreed upon me. But I cannot help feeling anxious of living my life all by myself. I do not have the best social life and even tho I have a big family with many brothers we do not communicate much not have my brothers have ever made an effort to help me out.
I pray Allah grant you a suitor that'll be the coolness of your eyes soon Bihithnillah...sister I'll recommend you engage in self rukiya base on what you stated that no suitor ever come to ask for your hand in marriage This may be some kinda relating to jinn or evil eye's may Allah safe us from such Be doing lot's of istigfar, morning and evening athkar, try and do away with sinful act and increase in all possible act of Ibaadah with the intention of pleasing Allah and also to seek for his mercy May Allah grant all singles a pious partner
U have to work for it. Sitting at home wishing for a suitor to appear won't happen. Start with muslim dating apps. Then, improve your social skills. Settle for an older guy. There are so many options.
Listen carefully sister. You’re being tested through your family and their expectations. Do not feel depressed, Allah is best of planners, ask him and do not do anything Haram to a peace your family. Besides, you might hate something which’s good for you and/or love something which’s bad for you, Allah knows best, be patient for this life is on a ticking time.
5:21 Even though I'm not Muslim I agree with what you said about keeping your morals because as a Christian doing the wrong things without being married is considered a sin. So it's a good reminder to remember that no matter who comes into your life if they do not respect your morals they're not meant for you.
As me Muslim men i agree with you , women dont chase man also man dont chase women. We are living end days were fitnah everywhere sisters protect yourself the right man will come to you for marriage be patient.
💐✋💐 A girl must know that marriage is a huge commitment but not all men are ready for it. Some men prefer to establish a relationship without getting into marriage zone , so if a girl accepts to continue in a relationship thinking that the day of getting married to this man might come , sadly, that day won't come because the man in the first place isn't the committed type, so don't waste your life and ethics for the sake of selfish male. What is meant for you by Allah will come to you so pray to Him to give you the best not just anyone.
I'm so glad i got my little crush situation over with in my teens. pining after a guy knowing full well he never acknowledged me and knowing that I wasn't going to be allowed to be married any time soon was the perfect way to imprint this lesson into my head. I thought that if he noticed me (without talking bare in mind) we would get married (girl when?). daydreaming days are over now and I'd like to tell all the girls out there not to embarrass yourself like that. I still can't get over the cringe of showing up in all the places he was, talking to my girls about him constantly, creating an image of him that didn't exist. I deluded myself into thinking it was harmless because I wasn't talking to him or interacting with him so it wasn't haram, but it was definitely harmful for me.
@@cryptoinanutshell it’s hard to say because I forget after so long but I think I was attracted to the idea of a nice, shy guy. He definitely fit the box and was in a few of my classes. That was all it took for shaytaan to take me on a trip. The trip has since ended 😂😂 alhamdulillah
@@n.a7848 it helps to surround yourself with friends who are also practicing their deen. Real friends will want you and not let the delusions get to your head. It helps to be introspective too, and of course asking Allah to keep you away from things that can harm you 🫶🏼
I have a non muslim friend and told me she wants to live with his boyfriend before she decides to get married. Inside my mind i'm like.... No, no no no bad idea. You will do everything a wife does for "free" and without real commitment and at the end is very probable they will split and she end up losing valuable years, time and effort.
I hope you are not talking about home duties,because it's a duty to both husband and wife ,I am sure she is not marrying a child, did you at least discourage her to move in with a man who she is not married to?
she may not take your advice to heart now but maybe, just maybe a few years down the line when her relationship falls apart she'll recall your words You may just be the type of person she needs in her life You could pre-face it with "Is it OK if I share something with you? I know this may not be what you want to hear... Hey, it may even come across as old-fashioned and you'll likely laugh it off but have you ever asked yourself why all your previous relationships failed?" Or "Why do you feel the need to move in with a guy that hasn't even made his intentions clear? Is it because you're afraid of losing him?" Make her think and ask deep questions rather than patronizing her Make it clear you are on her side As friends someone we need to hear things we are not willing to hear Sadly, some parents don't really parent their children and you may well be the only wise person she has ❤
I Had a friend I told her he is not good for dont go live with him she did and she cut our friend ship than when she realize he is not the right guy for her she said I was right and we becam friends and now she saids she will wait until marriage. you will have risk to lose your friend but better themto let them know the ugly truth that hurts alot even me somoen told me he is not right for me I got mad at person and block her but few month latter I realize person was actually teiling me the truth . I am sad we all do mistake and we wished we did listened. but I was naive and see everyone with good heart =((
I wouldn’t ever do such a thing. Never have and I never will. I would never force anyone to stay in my life who wants to leave or desires someone else. I let them go freely. No one can ever say any different. It’s that way whenever we know who we are in life. Everything about a real man is expected as he would receive from being just that. Queens never chase. We wait to be called upon. Thanks for sharing with us❤ God bless you❤✌🏽
She is so right about this before I became a Muslim I wasted 6 years on a guy that I thought wanted to be with me but he didn't but he used me for my money 6 years then I found out he got married and had a child and still lie to me and kept it a secret until I figured out what was going on some people really don't have any kind of morals or conscience of hurting people
I had a very similar situation for 5 years sister. I feel you. But Allah will send the right man our way. ❤️ Our life will be filled with love, respect and happiness. Inshallah
Sadly I went through this at 23yrs old when I got the opportunity to come to USA my family insisted that I must present a suitor. Out of pressure I showed interest in a man I thought was on the deen and when I came here I did all the calling and conversation finally I couldn’t do it anymore I stopped. I was devastated and heartbroken. 7yrs later he came showing interest I declined I felt like I was let down by everyone. Till now I’m not married yet still waiting on Allah and maintaining my standards.
@@NafisasPearlz Insha Allah I know and trust that what Allah haw written for me will never miss me. Everything happens with His divine decree so far He has preserved and protected me. I completely trust in His wisdom. JazzakAllahu hayran sister may Allah continue to guide and protect you and your family.
Basically unconditionally love and respect yourself enough to know what exactly best for you. If you do not love and respect yourself enough its important to learn to do that. Otherwise its all heartbreak, trauma and times wasting.
Thank you sister 🤍 I needed to hear this. I’m approaching the end of my 20’s, and had been feeling alot of self-blame for not finding a suitable spouse- with a couple suitors breaking it off after initial contact, making me doubt my high moral standards and actions. I have faith and reassurance that only the right person and suitable for me InshaAllah will be able to pursue me in a halal way without me compromising on anything. Keep me in your prayers Sister Nafisa, may Allah bless you and grant you paradise 🌸
This is so true. I wasted so much time on irrelevant people. I regret talking to this man who did me no good and I was too stupid to give in to him. Alhumdulilah I have repented from my mistakes.
I have been suffering from this...and this video popped up!Alhamdulilah I have a clear mindset now ty sis! Your thinking is what makes you beautiful 💖💖💖
Eloquently stated. You are absolutely 💯% right. As a man, I definitely agree with this video my wife shared this with me. Yes! I did all the pursuing. Moreover, before my wife Mom passed away she said to me don’t leave my family they will need you. I did not understand what my mother-in-law meant before she made her Transition. Years later I understand now. Her sons and daughters need to see what a God fearing man who respects his wife looks like. Thank you 🙏🏾 for your time.
Absolutely right! Not only Muslim any Woman should not chase a man. I know a woman who chased a man although she never crossed her limits but she humiliated herself by chasing a man. She was a very strong character woman, every one around her praised her character that much that she started to take too much pride in it. Pride is always an enemy of good deeds. It was a much needed lesson for her that Allah ordered us to stay humble even if we are virtuous and strong character.
JazakAllah Khair for sharing this advice. I used to believe this until in my 20s and university days, girls around me started advising me otherwise by using the example of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) pursuing Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). The kind of things I used to casually hear was 'pull a Khadija' and unfortunately I did end up listening to some but that ended up being so detrimental for my self esteem and over all mental health. I had to learn this lesson the hard way so I 100% agree with you. Now, I absolutely refuse to listen to anyone who tries to give me advice that compromises my self respect and self worth in any way. I'm in my 30s but with boundaries in place, I feel so much healthier and hopeful that I'm headed in the right direction, Alhamdullilah. When the time is right, Allah will send the right man inshaAllah.
Authobillah they are slandering one of the Faithful Mothers Khadija radiaAllahu anha. This is extremely untrue and damaging, please shut it down whenever you hear this. Khadija RA is a better woman and wife than any of us will ever be, this is a horrible thing to say about her. Do not believe this falsehood, and stop this slander.
@@hk-cn2qm It's not a slander. They refer to the example of Khadija (RA) sending a proposal to Muhammad (SAW), and justify that women today should also go ahead and pursue a man that they're interested in. Problem is that the approach lacks hikmah and maturity.
@@ajkhanism It is slander if they are encouraging you to do something haram and implying Khadija RA did the same. You should correct them and say that Khadija RA never even proposed marriage him ﷺ herself. She only told her friend Nafisah she was interested in marrying Rasool Allah who then brought up the idea of marriage to Prophet Mohammad ﷺ and he accepted.
Yeah is right. Girls who pursues and chase is always perceived as a girl who care to much about guys, self love and high dignity and high moral are super attractive. Girls who chase me is super repealing
Hi Nafisa...Im From India...Im a Non Muslim Girl (Hindu Girl) I'm so glad That I Found You...Im always Feeling So Calm And Blessed whenever I Listen To you...New Subscriber ❤
I'm currently in a relationship that is showing hell of alot red flags but I just don't wanna believe that he is bad, I'm always giving him excuses but this video really encouraged me to change my mind seriously.. You 're freaking right... I'm just scared I would end up alone until I die 😢, im scared to lose him
I did the same for 2 years. I swear by Allah these idiots are not worth it. He will most likely drop you in seconds. Move on to better things. Connect to Allah in Tawheed and Tawakkul. Don't be afraid of making smart moves. You staying is going to ruin you and make you weak. Then you will take years to recover, you are carrying unnecessary baggage that will affect you, people around you and the next man who doesn't deserve that.
thank you. I barely watch a 15 minutes video, I watched it till the end. I think it is not just about men but in general, this is how we should be towards all human. I am still learning and hurting but this video opened my eyes again since it just popped out from nowhere on my feed. Additionally, I had a really bad experience with humans just yesterday and I cried my eyes out. Today I chose to be different, came home and saw this video. Allah is with me :)
Much needed !!! Tired of searching a groom for myself .. … if Allah has meant anyone for me he will Come to me.. literally a headache to search a boy for a girl.. that too when parents are asians 😅
With Allah’s help and will, nothing is impossible. It’s just that with life, you can have it all but rarely at the same time so there will always be challenges. May Allah make it easier
Showing interest back in a dignified way may not be understood by some men,some may either try take advantage of it ,some may think that you are too reserved so you are not interested.some will not not understand or appreciate it.but of course ,we must maintain our modesty and chastity no matter what ,some men can interpret our demeanor as they wish.
Yep, men of today are not even trying to get married, the good ones do let their mother pick. The bad ones are wild and literally out to destroy people.
Nafisa I have been following for so long I think this is my first time commenting I absolutely agree with everything you said SubhanaAllah I needed to hear!! May Allah bless you
@@NafisasPearlz If someone denies for marriage and says to stay as a friend , doesn't want to leave . He has teary eyes while saying good bye. What should the girl do ? He also says , be hopeful , if Allah wants , we will marry . If it is in our destiny . Please guide me. I am devasted .
For those of you not married, pls make this dua inshaAllah it will help ."Allahume la tezerni ferden weante khayru warithin" dua of ph.zakerya from suretul maryem
What I want to say sisters always remember even if you made mistakes down the road that if you gave up your morals and boundaries for him you are seeking your rizq the wrong way , Allah has his heart so if you disobeyed Allah to get him you are forgetting that Allah has him and has his heart so never lose your boundaries and do haram for someone , if they were meant to be you don't need to do any haram and I'm doubting that who let you do haram is in anyway shape or form loves or want you Protect yourself sisters and put your trust only in Allah not anyone else ❤
This is very true, has feelings for my ex who we dated for 3-4years, got into another relationship and the relationship broke again,leaving my life goals or going to zina is not just a topic to be done by me. May Allah bless everyone's home
Nafiisa what you are saying is the absolute truth. Women should stop this bad behavior of pursuing men. Most of the time they chase men who don't want them. Chasing handsome guys who don't want you won't take you anywhere.
Jazakillahu kheiran, facts, we all learned it the hard way, the smart ones learn without going trough them, trust in Allah fully, even if it hurts, stay strong and believe Allah will replace it with better, halal is the only definition of love, and even if he loves you but isnt comitted, the love isnt of any use, so dont fall for this trap by shaitan, when its not meant, its not meant, Alhamdullilah, period.
I wasted 1 and a half year chasing a guy. Never again I’ve learnt it the hard way in the end I became sooo depressed am soo happy I came across this may Allah bless you sis ❤❤
Wow! MashAllah x 1000 I sooo needed this. You are 110% correct. It's so nice to find a video on this topic with an islamic stance. I'm going to try and apply this as best I can inshallah ...thank you sis. Just subscribed x
I rarely comment but sister, YOU'RE SPEAKING FACTS. May Allah reward you for this and may it make it easy for everyone who's going through heartbreak/despair, it is indeed difficult to find high value, righteous men these days but no one is worth compromising your deen for. Don't lose hope, work on your relationship with Allah and yourself first!
Mashallah.. Beautifully explained 👍❤️.. I did some of these mistakes which u mentioned.. But alhumdolillah I got out it and my eman is back alhumdolillah...
May Allah swt bless you sis. I've had my eyes on a brother at uni and I found myself overstepping - this was definitely the wake up call I needed to stop what I was doing. inshaAllah if its meant to be he'll reach out to me instead of vice versa!
Al Salamu 'alaykom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh, yesss gurl ! We should be women of dignity, and remember if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decided that something will happen to you then know that it will happen , and that you CAN'T avoid it . Also remember sister, this life is temporary the clock is ticking , let's not let shaytan distract us from picking good opportunities from here and there ( ie : good opportunities to do good deeds ) And don't be sad my dear and don't stress out , ok dear ? Let's have good thoughts of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and beautiful hope that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will honor us in this dunya and specially in the akhira , Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman ya Hhayu ya Qayum. And subhanaka Allahuma wa bihamdika ash-hadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk
This video could not have come at a better time. I agree with the not chasing part. I'm in this situation where there is a couple of guys in my uni who have been staring, and showing other signs that they're interested for a while. At first i thought they were just shy, so i've tried to smile and look approachable. But whenever I do that (smiling and such), it's almost as if they loose all interest or act like they were never interested from the start. Like what does that mean? Honestly finding a man these days has proven very difficult!
They could just be flirting but I would say don’t worry about the mixed signals. The best is not to read into it unless whoever is interest approaches you.
Sis my advice is just be normal. If they like you they will make a move and you will know it as a move. My rule is if a man takes one step towards you, if you are interested, then take one step towards him. Basically don’t run away and play hard to get. If he shows interest, show interest - but it has to be a clear interest. Staring isn’t that clear. You will know when someone is trying to get to know you as more than an acquaintance. You can then act accordingly.
You’re not strange for not making the moves on guys. It’s the right thing to do. Let them make the first move and if it sparks interest then you can respond accordingly.
Esselamı aleyküm to all my sisters. Recently I had a similar experience with a man, at the beginning he was talking about marriage non-stop and I was so naive to believe that, I committed to this man for 5 years. For the last 3 years he was not geniue, honest or loving but I kept putting effort and chased him because I actually believed that the relationship ment to lead us to a marriage. He broke up with me 1 month ago when my family was waiting for engagement, today is Eid al Adha, we didn't even celebrated each other. He ate in our house on the last year's eid. I am heart broken that I spent a lot of time even when the signals were obvious that he was not serious with his marriage intentions. May Allah forgive me for my mistakes. My heart aches for the sins that I did.
You are such a lady ❤ ❤❤❤❤❤ this is so true when you want to find the right one the key is patience even if it takes long and you become a bit impatient,good things take time,nothing forced is ever right ❤
Sister Nafisa you talked about things ladies do that show they aren't ready for marriage. I kindly request you to make a video on that particular topic. Things to work on before marriage, such as hygiene, cooking skills etcetera. Otherwise Jazaakillahu khairah for all the beautiful reminders. May Allah be pleased with you ❤️. Amiin
As salaamu Alaikum. The need for love and wanting to be married, have children, be apart of a family, sometimes puts us muslim women in some situations, especially reverts who dont have a Wakeel. Some of these muslim men play with our emotions because we are vulnerable. May Allaah protect us, bring us Men who will adore and maintain us. Aamiin
SubhanaAllah sister, i almost was going to do it! AllhamdulilALLAH Allah send me here to listen to you thank you so much may Allah bless you so much and please never stop making your videos
How can I like this video in a million times sis @Nafisa peal. Because this is what I discussed with my guy yesterday that "I will be 30 years old In Sha Allah by next year, what's your plan for this relationship in the next 2 months" but unfortunately he couldn't provide the right answer to my question but anyways that doesn't change my mood instead it makes me realized that I still needed to pressurize Allah more to grant me my soulmate.
I did this mistake of chasing a guy whom i met through a metrimonial site, thought proposal was sent by him only but later I have to initiate anything.After doing all efforts I had to leave him realising that this is not a women's job to chase a guy.He wasted my 8 months,end up saying he is looking for a girl friend 🤷
Nafisa, I love what you’re doing. May Allah bless you and your family. ♥️ From personal experience I only can agree. If he doesn’t show interest and you’re trying to give and give more, it’s only a waste of time. The question I asked myself was: do I feel better being single or getting to know him? If you have to overthink again and again if he has interest in you, please leave him and do yourself a favour.
Sadly some of my girlfriends who did what you say always complain about why the guys don’t want to be with them after they have done so much for the guys…. Because guys need to feel like ur the price they need to feel that you are a highly valued person who knows her own value so they can see the future with you being the anchor if the boat is unstable cuz you can hold yourself together.. THAT to man is what they deeply need from the woman they want a serious relationship with. Cuz they know how they are as men sometimes making silly decisions, they need to see the respect in you and the respect he can provide to you. ❤😊
Salam Alaykum sister, It's like when we're not interested in a man, they chase us, they make an effort and they try and they see that the girl doesn't do her part and the boy doesn't realize it. Or they don't want to see it. I really liked your advice, we have to value ourselves and value our time. Barakallahu fik ❤
Anciently the woman used to throw a scarf to implement that she selected him to be her man. It is the woman that must decide and not the other way around brothers and sisters.
I recommend the Muslim Narcissist book by Dr Mona Alyedressey PH.D she helps women/ men recognise the right signs to look at in a relationship so to avoid narcissistic men who trap women in an abusive relationship. As a male I found your video always insightful and knowledgeable,
I leaned this the very, extremely hard way. I’m just going to say this. If a man is interested in you, YOU WILL KNOW. NO DOUBT. NO CONFUSION. It doesn’t matter how busy he is. If he is interested in you HE WILL DEDICATE TIME TO YOU. HE WILL MAKE TIME FOR YOU. Yeah there’s going to be some times when he’s really unavailable, but overall if you’re waiting more than an hour for him to respond (unless he’s at work or just extremely busy) HE IS NOT INTERESTED. YOU’RE NOT HIS PRIORITY. There is no “oh maybe his phone died” or “oh maybe he’s sleeping” “maybe his phone stopped working” “maybe he’s too busy” yeah he’s busy alright. Too busy for you only. Men make it VERY obvious when they’re interested in a woman and also when they’re uninterested. I’ve seen both sides. To whichever sis is reading this and is in a similar situation please respect yourself and just leave. I wish I had someone tell me this but I had to find out myself. In the end, you will be the only one hurting (as I am now). You will doubt your self-worth and start to doubt your future. Just let that man go. He’s worthless. You have so much value and if a man can’t see it he’s a waste.
JazakhAllah for sharing your experience sis! We all make mistakes and have to learn some things the hard way. I definitely needed this reminder. May Allah bless you with the right man who will value you, cherish you, and lead you into Jannah. Sending you love 🤎
My story is....
I had crush on my classmate in childhood & then his family moved to canada , after 15 years we met online & exchanged to each other about our lives, again i fell in love with him & he also confessed his feelings, always he texted me first and he listened to me very well, but suddenly after 3 to 4 month i noticed that he did not text me much as before & slowly slowly i felt that i am not that much important to him as compare to before...
I know that i should let him go & forget him & i also tried it but still i can't forget him even i miss him so much..
How should i change myself & move on how....?
“ Where focus goes energy goes”All you have to do is to refocus all that energy .Enjoy your life , Pursue your hobbies , set tangible goals , become a better version of yourself. Definitely work on your spiritual growth, help others, and above all seek and trust God.
Right on bro , see women hide many things in there heart they are not open as we men are , if a wife opens up to a good decent discussion life would be normal and amazingly beautiful, but nooooo they are negative most of the time plus they don’t treat men as Allah asked and don’t appreciate the hard work that we men do to put food on the table
Well you should ask a direct question to him , to know his expectations, people tend to loose interest when u don’t communicate much and u wait for the other person to type , be direct instead of watching over the phone waiting for him to respond. Don’t keep high expectations from anyone in life u will just end up hurting yourself in the end
Listen ladies, she's stating facts. I've learned the hard way. Value yourself!
True!
Same! Now I dont speak to men unless they speak to me first. And I stopped calling and texting first
I'm guessing that the title of this video is offensive to some people
Would you consider that
Hummm is so hard for to let the person call or text me
@@khadyndiaye5999 good luck finding someone
No one should chase a partner, you shouldn’t have to stress yourself out or fight for someone to love you! That type of relationship is doomed from the start.
Thanks
So true my exact thoughts
Your daughter is a very fortunate little girl to have a mom who is knowledgable and will provide excellent guidance.
Insha’Allah Allah. Thank you
❤❤❤
I needed this right now! As a Indian Muslim girl i am so tired of getting rejected because of my brown skin, now I have just left it to Allah swt..
Subhanallah. May Allah grant you a husband whom together you will build a good home.
Not to worry, the right one will see the beauty in your skin colour. You don’t need every man to want you, just the right one insha’Allah.
@@NafisasPearlz its beautiful you said “beauty IN your skin colour” because this skin ISS BEAUTIFUL❤❤❤
You aren't being rejected because of your brown skin, you're being rejected because they are racist/have toxic, unIslamic colorism issues. You don't want someone who would look down on the beautiful color Allah created your skin! Allah is protecting you by showing their ugliness before you're married. Alhamdilullah.
Are you sure the color is the issue and not the overall look and self-confidence? Look at non-indian reverts may be. My own brother loves dark indian woman, so are other Europeans. By the way, my skin is the palest white and I am quite blessed looks wise but I also have issues with men lol. In my country they call me ''feta-cheese''. Hugs and lots of duaa. x
@@vnikol-o7b well i feel colour is the issue because Indians generally dislike brown skin.. but alhamdulillah I'm happy however Allah has made me and whoever is written for us will find us beautiful however we are inshallah
"Losing your morals out of your desperation to keep him."
Thank you for this great reminder ❤
“If you’re in your 30’s don’t waste 6months to a year for a guy who is not sure whether they want to get married or not “
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Real Men Dont marry Strangers lil B
Im 31 well educated still the thought of living alone haunts me, i am in misery i wish Allah brings me out of it.i am so done 😞
@@sobiayaseen673May Allah grants you to find the man you deserve my dear sister 🤍💐😷🥰
@@sobiayaseen673 make tahajjud
If you keep chasing a guy before marriage, then be prepared to keep chasing him once you get married A man that doesn't chase you is either not all that into you or is out of touch with his masculine instinct of provision and protection Why would you ever want a husband where you have to do all the heavy lifting? Chasing a man inevitably sets you up for failure Know your worth, lean back and rest in your femininity knowing that what is meant for you cannot pass you by A man that needs to be chased is not marriage material If it feels like too much hard work then that's because that man is not intended for you
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
👍🏽🙏🏼
Trust me she is 100 %right. I chased a very shy guy for 1 year. At the end, he said :" why are you putting too much effort to make this relationship work, I feel like you do just because you re, desperately, looking for a husband". I was shocked, humiliated and broken at the same time. I walked away but, still feeling hurt. Not because I lost someone I truly loved but , because... my self respect🤦♀️. Now, am with someone else, who is afraid to loose me, because I didn't take his role. 😊
Just DONT CHASE a man, just don't do it.
As a father to 4 beautiful daughter, I can say you are right! I want the men to be the one that come to ask their hands in marriage from me while I access them. You are right! It’s in innate nature for men to chose the women they want!
Jazak Allahu Khair for providing a male perspective, especially a Muslim male perspective.
Jazaka’Allahu khairan. Your input as a man will certainly give validity to the points made. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
"When you make a man the goal, that is the beginning of the end.." - Nafisa Pearlz 2023.
I love your humor, and I love everything about you.
May Allah guide every one of us, Ameen.
Ameeen
💯 Things I do not pursue: men. If they actually want you, they will pursue you and do so the proper way: they will ask for your wali and go to him. If they want to keep it private/secret between the two of you and not involve your wali/families, their intentions are not good for you. The only (emotional) running you should do is AWAY from sketchy men.
I am in my thirties and have never been approached by anyone nor have i ever had a getting to know conversation with a guy. I grew up in a town with alot of Muslims and my family is a well known family and I literally grew up in a masjid. I have never had any suitors or interests shown by their families. I have done an apprenticeship in a different town far away for a few years with also alot of Muslims. Then I came back and studied at university for years also with alot of possibilities of meeting someone.
Yet it never happened. Now I am a working woman , live by myself bcs I had to move out to work in a different place. I work with people so I encounter so many every day also in an area with loads of Muslims. Nothing nada.
I was never bothered all this time but I am feeling my families pressure. My parents are hurting themselves mentally and giving me the psychological pressure. My sisters are talking behind my back.
To top it all off, my niece who I have literally raised and who is 11 years younger than me has met a suitor who she will be marrying in the upcoming time. They are even hiding this from me out of fear of my reaction ?
Idk.
At first I felt very humiliated by this fact but in the end I came to accept this as marriage is fate.
Instead, I am working on self development, use my free time to learn and improve my deen. I cannot let a day pass where I do not think about the fact I won't be able to get children forever but that is also fate. If Allah has written me children then I'll have them. But the progressing age of a woman also makes it hard for them to find a suitor as they would rather want to marry someone in their prime years. There are so many beautiful Muslim girls out there.
In the end, I pray I come to terms with what Allah has decreed upon me. But I cannot help feeling anxious of living my life all by myself. I do not have the best social life and even tho I have a big family with many brothers we do not communicate much not have my brothers have ever made an effort to help me out.
I pray Allah grant you a suitor that'll be the coolness of your eyes soon Bihithnillah...sister I'll recommend you engage in self rukiya base on what you stated that no suitor ever come to ask for your hand in marriage
This may be some kinda relating to jinn or evil eye's may Allah safe us from such
Be doing lot's of istigfar, morning and evening athkar, try and do away with sinful act and increase in all possible act of Ibaadah with the intention of pleasing Allah and also to seek for his mercy
May Allah grant all singles a pious partner
U have to work for it. Sitting at home wishing for a suitor to appear won't happen. Start with muslim dating apps. Then, improve your social skills. Settle for an older guy. There are so many options.
Listen carefully sister. You’re being tested through your family and their expectations. Do not feel depressed, Allah is best of planners, ask him and do not do anything Haram to a peace your family. Besides, you might hate something which’s good for you and/or love something which’s bad for you, Allah knows best, be patient for this life is on a ticking time.
Allah knows best. ❤
Do a lot of istighfar. Allah promised in surah Nuh that He will give strength. May Allah grant you a righteous and loving spouse.
5:21 Even though I'm not Muslim I agree with what you said about keeping your morals because as a Christian doing the wrong things without being married is considered a sin. So it's a good reminder to remember that no matter who comes into your life if they do not respect your morals they're not meant for you.
Everyone needs a healthy dose of self-respect in relationships.
As me Muslim men i agree with you , women dont chase man also man dont chase women. We are living end days were fitnah everywhere sisters protect yourself the right man will come to you for marriage be patient.
Great advice for Muslimahs and non-Muslim women alike. I love your content!
Thank you dear
💐✋💐 A girl must know that marriage is a huge commitment but not all men are ready for it. Some men prefer to establish a relationship without getting into marriage zone , so if a girl accepts to continue in a relationship thinking that the day of getting married to this man might come , sadly, that day won't come because the man in the first place isn't the committed type, so don't waste your life and ethics for the sake of selfish male. What is meant for you by Allah will come to you so pray to Him to give you the best not just anyone.
I'm so glad i got my little crush situation over with in my teens. pining after a guy knowing full well he never acknowledged me and knowing that I wasn't going to be allowed to be married any time soon was the perfect way to imprint this lesson into my head. I thought that if he noticed me (without talking bare in mind) we would get married (girl when?). daydreaming days are over now and I'd like to tell all the girls out there not to embarrass yourself like that. I still can't get over the cringe of showing up in all the places he was, talking to my girls about him constantly, creating an image of him that didn't exist. I deluded myself into thinking it was harmless because I wasn't talking to him or interacting with him so it wasn't haram, but it was definitely harmful for me.
Sister if this isn’t me!!! I still fall into the trap subhanallah here and there. How did u get over this?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
What was about this guy that drawn you this hard?
@@cryptoinanutshell it’s hard to say because I forget after so long but I think I was attracted to the idea of a nice, shy guy. He definitely fit the box and was in a few of my classes. That was all it took for shaytaan to take me on a trip. The trip has since ended 😂😂 alhamdulillah
@@n.a7848 it helps to surround yourself with friends who are also practicing their deen. Real friends will want you and not let the delusions get to your head. It helps to be introspective too, and of course asking Allah to keep you away from things that can harm you 🫶🏼
I have a non muslim friend and told me she wants to live with his boyfriend before she decides to get married. Inside my mind i'm like.... No, no no no bad idea. You will do everything a wife does for "free" and without real commitment and at the end is very probable they will split and she end up losing valuable years, time and effort.
I hope you are not talking about home duties,because it's a duty to both husband and wife ,I am sure she is not marrying a child, did you at least discourage her to move in with a man who she is not married to?
@@purplelove3666 Non Muslim women see as oppressed and old fashioned when we give them this advice.
she may not take your advice to heart now but maybe, just maybe a few years down the line when her relationship falls apart she'll recall your words You may just be the type of person she needs in her life You could pre-face it with "Is it OK if I share something with you? I know this may not be what you want to hear... Hey, it may even come across as old-fashioned and you'll likely laugh it off but have you ever asked yourself why all your previous relationships failed?" Or "Why do you feel the need to move in with a guy that hasn't even made his intentions clear? Is it because you're afraid of losing him?" Make her think and ask deep questions rather than patronizing her Make it clear you are on her side As friends someone we need to hear things we are not willing to hear Sadly, some parents don't really parent their children and you may well be the only wise person she has ❤
I Had a friend I told her he is not good for dont go live with him she did and she cut our friend ship than when she realize he is not the right guy for her she said I was right and we becam friends and now she saids she will wait until marriage. you will have risk to lose your friend but better themto let them know the ugly truth that hurts alot even me somoen told me he is not right for me I got mad at person and block her but few month latter I realize person was actually teiling me the truth . I am sad we all do mistake and we wished we did listened. but I was naive and see everyone with good heart =((
I wouldn’t ever do such a thing. Never have and I never will. I would never force anyone to stay in my life who wants to leave or desires someone else. I let them go freely. No one can ever say any different. It’s that way whenever we know who we are in life. Everything about a real man is expected as he would receive from being just that. Queens never chase. We wait to be called upon.
Thanks for sharing with us❤
God bless you❤✌🏽
She is so right about this before I became a Muslim I wasted 6 years on a guy that I thought wanted to be with me but he didn't but he used me for my money 6 years then I found out he got married and had a child and still lie to me and kept it a secret until I figured out what was going on some people really don't have any kind of morals or conscience of hurting people
May Allah replace him with someone better for you
I had a very similar situation for 5 years sister. I feel you. But Allah will send the right man our way. ❤️ Our life will be filled with love, respect and happiness. Inshallah
@@ivoryskullz Would you consider me, waiting your reply plz ❤❤
Im sorry what happened to you sister
inshallah allah will bring a good man in ur life
Sadly I went through this at 23yrs old when I got the opportunity to come to USA my family insisted that I must present a suitor. Out of pressure I showed interest in a man I thought was on the deen and when I came here I did all the calling and conversation finally I couldn’t do it anymore I stopped. I was devastated and heartbroken. 7yrs later he came showing interest I declined I felt like I was let down by everyone. Till now I’m not married yet still waiting on Allah and maintaining my standards.
So sorry to hear that. It sounds like he wasn’t sure about you then but not to worry insha’Allah He will bring the one soon.
@@NafisasPearlz Insha Allah I know and trust that what Allah haw written for me will never miss me. Everything happens with His divine decree so far He has preserved and protected me. I completely trust in His wisdom. JazzakAllahu hayran sister may Allah continue to guide and protect you and your family.
@@uhktiscuisine2450 Aameen, yaa Rabb ❤
@@uhktiscuisine2450 don't lose hope in the mercy of Allah. His timing is the best.
@@uhktiscuisine2450 Im here looking for marriage if you would consider me❤
Am not Muslim but I appreciate the content you post. I have learnt alot from this channel. Keep it up.
Basically unconditionally love and respect yourself enough to know what exactly best for you. If you do not love and respect yourself enough its important to learn to do that. Otherwise its all heartbreak, trauma and times wasting.
Thank you sister 🤍 I needed to hear this. I’m approaching the end of my 20’s, and had been feeling alot of self-blame for not finding a suitable spouse- with a couple suitors breaking it off after initial contact, making me doubt my high moral standards and actions. I have faith and reassurance that only the right person and suitable for me InshaAllah will be able to pursue me in a halal way without me compromising on anything. Keep me in your prayers Sister Nafisa, may Allah bless you and grant you paradise 🌸
May Allah grant you the perfect one ❤
May Allah bless you with perfect husband .
Ameen !
May Allah bless you with a righteous husband who will be the coolness of your eyes.
Pipi
This is so true. I wasted so much time on irrelevant people. I regret talking to this man who did me no good and I was too stupid to give in to him. Alhumdulilah I have repented from my mistakes.
Remember every person gives you their own opinion from their own experiences and perspective.
I have been suffering from this...and this video popped up!Alhamdulilah I have a clear mindset now ty sis! Your thinking is what makes you beautiful 💖💖💖
Eloquently stated. You are absolutely 💯% right.
As a man, I definitely agree with this video my wife shared this with me.
Yes! I did all the pursuing. Moreover, before my wife Mom passed away she said to me don’t leave my family they will need you.
I did not understand what my mother-in-law meant before she made her Transition. Years later I understand now. Her sons and daughters need to see what a God fearing man who respects his wife looks like.
Thank you 🙏🏾 for your time.
Absolutely right! Not only Muslim any Woman should not chase a man.
I know a woman who chased a man although she never crossed her limits but she humiliated herself by chasing a man.
She was a very strong character woman, every one around her praised her character that much that she started to take too much pride in it.
Pride is always an enemy of good deeds.
It was a much needed lesson for her that Allah ordered us to stay humble even if we are virtuous and strong character.
JazakAllah Khair for sharing this advice. I used to believe this until in my 20s and university days, girls around me started advising me otherwise by using the example of Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) pursuing Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). The kind of things I used to casually hear was 'pull a Khadija' and unfortunately I did end up listening to some but that ended up being so detrimental for my self esteem and over all mental health. I had to learn this lesson the hard way so I 100% agree with you. Now, I absolutely refuse to listen to anyone who tries to give me advice that compromises my self respect and self worth in any way. I'm in my 30s but with boundaries in place, I feel so much healthier and hopeful that I'm headed in the right direction, Alhamdullilah. When the time is right, Allah will send the right man inshaAllah.
May Allah ease your affairs
Authobillah they are slandering one of the Faithful Mothers Khadija radiaAllahu anha. This is extremely untrue and damaging, please shut it down whenever you hear this. Khadija RA is a better woman and wife than any of us will ever be, this is a horrible thing to say about her. Do not believe this falsehood, and stop this slander.
@@hk-cn2qm It's not a slander. They refer to the example of Khadija (RA) sending a proposal to Muhammad (SAW), and justify that women today should also go ahead and pursue a man that they're interested in. Problem is that the approach lacks hikmah and maturity.
@@ajkhanism It is slander if they are encouraging you to do something haram and implying Khadija RA did the same. You should correct them and say that Khadija RA never even proposed marriage him ﷺ herself. She only told her friend Nafisah she was interested in marrying Rasool Allah who then brought up the idea of marriage to Prophet Mohammad ﷺ and he accepted.
he told hre friend she never talk to the prophet (ﷺ) first and الله put already love in the prophete(ﷺ) heart for khadja RA, she is not us
Sister you are so intelligent and wise!! Love you for the sake of Allah (swt.) ❤️❤️❤️
Jazaka’Allahu khairan. May Allah whose sake you love me love you
Yeah is right. Girls who pursues and chase is always perceived as a girl who care to much about guys, self love and high dignity and high moral are super attractive. Girls who chase me is super repealing
That’s the same way I feel when men do same thing.
Hi Nafisa...Im From India...Im a Non Muslim Girl (Hindu Girl) I'm so glad That I Found You...Im always Feeling So Calm And Blessed whenever I Listen To you...New Subscriber ❤
أدعوك للاسلام لانه دين الحق
وابحثي عن الداعية علي محمد
على اليوتيوب
I'm currently in a relationship that is showing hell of alot red flags but I just don't wanna believe that he is bad, I'm always giving him excuses but this video really encouraged me to change my mind seriously.. You 're freaking right... I'm just scared I would end up alone until I die 😢, im scared to lose him
Better to lose him now than continue with the red flags through marriage, parenthood, then divorce, or an unhealthy marriage.
same pinch😔
We are in a small boat 🥲🥲
dont put your child in toxic marriages just because you afraid being alone .
I did the same for 2 years. I swear by Allah these idiots are not worth it. He will most likely drop you in seconds. Move on to better things. Connect to Allah in Tawheed and Tawakkul. Don't be afraid of making smart moves. You staying is going to ruin you and make you weak. Then you will take years to recover, you are carrying unnecessary baggage that will affect you, people around you and the next man who doesn't deserve that.
thank you. I barely watch a 15 minutes video, I watched it till the end. I think it is not just about men but in general, this is how we should be towards all human. I am still learning and hurting but this video opened my eyes again since it just popped out from nowhere on my feed. Additionally, I had a really bad experience with humans just yesterday and I cried my eyes out. Today I chose to be different, came home and saw this video. Allah is with me :)
Much needed !!! Tired of searching a groom for myself .. … if Allah has meant anyone for me he will
Come to me.. literally a headache to search a boy for a girl.. that too when parents are asians 😅
Subhanallah it's really challenging and near impossible to try and find someone for marriage. Jazakhallah for the advise.
With Allah’s help and will, nothing is impossible. It’s just that with life, you can have it all but rarely at the same time so there will always be challenges.
May Allah make it easier
ASSALAMALAIKUM write Allah in capital SubhanAllah Ma Sha Allah JazakhAllah BarakAllah In Sha Allah and Allah knows best
Showing interest back in a dignified way may not be understood by some men,some may either try take advantage of it ,some may think that you are too reserved so you are not interested.some will not not understand or appreciate it.but of course ,we must maintain our modesty and chastity no matter what ,some men can interpret our demeanor as they wish.
When I make the video, it will be clear.
Yep, men of today are not even trying to get married, the good ones do let their mother pick. The bad ones are wild and literally out to destroy people.
Nafisa I have been following for so long I think this is my first time commenting I absolutely agree with everything you said SubhanaAllah I needed to hear!! May Allah bless you
Ameen and Jazaka’Allahu khairan for the support throughout the years.
As a muslim, you are telling avout this topics..my respect for you is million times more than i have for anything💗💗
Nafiisa is the sister we never knew we needed walahi you have no idea how much you’ve helped so many of us may Allah reward you❤️❤️
Ameen dear sister. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
@@NafisasPearlz If someone denies for marriage and says to stay as a friend , doesn't want to leave . He has teary eyes while saying good bye. What should the girl do ? He also says , be hopeful , if Allah wants , we will marry . If it is in our destiny . Please guide me. I am devasted .
For those of you not married, pls make this dua inshaAllah it will help ."Allahume la tezerni ferden weante khayru warithin" dua of ph.zakerya from suretul maryem
Thank you so much for this elder sister advice! We need more sisters like you who will keep it real with us.
I know this information is geared towards women of Muslim faith, but this goes for all women as well. Love it!
Finally someone stated it black and white just as it is. It is quiet straightforward
What I want to say sisters always remember even if you made mistakes down the road that if you gave up your morals and boundaries for him you are seeking your rizq the wrong way , Allah has his heart so if you disobeyed Allah to get him you are forgetting that Allah has him and has his heart so never lose your boundaries and do haram for someone , if they were meant to be you don't need to do any haram and I'm doubting that who let you do haram is in anyway shape or form loves or want you
Protect yourself sisters and put your trust only in Allah not anyone else ❤
This is very true, has feelings for my ex who we dated for 3-4years, got into another relationship and the relationship broke again,leaving my life goals or going to zina is not just a topic to be done by me.
May Allah bless everyone's home
Nafiisa what you are saying is the absolute truth. Women should stop this bad behavior of pursuing men.
Most of the time they chase men who don't want them.
Chasing handsome guys who don't want you won't take you anywhere.
Most of the women chase man for his status and his wealth . Women do competition they fight to get man who has wealth and value.
YOU HAVE SPOKEN THE TRUTH. I WISH I WATCHED THIS EARLIER TO SAVE ME MY TIME AND ENERGY. SISTERS BETTER LISTEN TO NAFISA. DON'T SAY NOBODY WARNED YOU
Jazakillahu kheiran, facts, we all learned it the hard way, the smart ones learn without going trough them, trust in Allah fully, even if it hurts, stay strong and believe Allah will replace it with better, halal is the only definition of love, and even if he loves you but isnt comitted, the love isnt of any use, so dont fall for this trap by shaitan, when its not meant, its not meant, Alhamdullilah, period.
I wasted 1 and a half year chasing a guy. Never again I’ve learnt it the hard way in the end I became sooo depressed am soo happy I came across this may Allah bless you sis ❤❤
Wow! MashAllah x 1000 I sooo needed this. You are 110% correct. It's so nice to find a video on this topic with an islamic stance. I'm going to try and apply this as best I can inshallah ...thank you sis. Just subscribed x
I rarely comment but sister, YOU'RE SPEAKING FACTS. May Allah reward you for this and may it make it easy for everyone who's going through heartbreak/despair, it is indeed difficult to find high value, righteous men these days but no one is worth compromising your deen for. Don't lose hope, work on your relationship with Allah and yourself first!
Mashallah.. Beautifully explained 👍❤️.. I did some of these mistakes which u mentioned.. But alhumdolillah I got out it and my eman is back alhumdolillah...
May Allah swt bless you sis. I've had my eyes on a brother at uni and I found myself overstepping - this was definitely the wake up call I needed to stop what I was doing. inshaAllah if its meant to be he'll reach out to me instead of vice versa!
Al Salamu 'alaykom wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh, yesss gurl ! We should be women of dignity, and remember if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decided that something will happen to you then know that it will happen , and that you CAN'T avoid it .
Also remember sister, this life is temporary the clock is ticking , let's not let shaytan distract us from picking good opportunities from here and there ( ie : good opportunities to do good deeds )
And don't be sad my dear and don't stress out , ok dear ?
Let's have good thoughts of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and beautiful hope that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will honor us in this dunya and specially in the akhira , Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman ya Hhayu ya Qayum.
And subhanaka Allahuma wa bihamdika ash-hadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk
@@Youbettersaysubhanallah Wa alaikum salam sis, spot on!!
This video could not have come at a better time. I agree with the not chasing part. I'm in this situation where there is a couple of guys in my uni who have been staring, and showing other signs that they're interested for a while. At first i thought they were just shy, so i've tried to smile and look approachable. But whenever I do that (smiling and such), it's almost as if they loose all interest or act like they were never interested from the start. Like what does that mean? Honestly finding a man these days has proven very difficult!
They could just be flirting but I would say don’t worry about the mixed signals. The best is not to read into it unless whoever is interest approaches you.
Sis my advice is just be normal. If they like you they will make a move and you will know it as a move. My rule is if a man takes one step towards you, if you are interested, then take one step towards him. Basically don’t run away and play hard to get. If he shows interest, show interest - but it has to be a clear interest. Staring isn’t that clear. You will know when someone is trying to get to know you as more than an acquaintance. You can then act accordingly.
@@SS-cu8se That's good advice. JazakAllah Khair sister
@@AK-go7sh wa iyakum!
@@AK-go7sh As a man his 30s looking for a marriage... would you consider me
Mashaa Allah,may Allah bless us with rightful husbands that would be coolness to our eyes
I m so tried of getting rejected please pray for me Allah give me best partner Ameen😢
I'm going to give all my worries of life and future in God hand 🙏
Best female relationship coach ever in the world. Ahmed Qatar
Even as a 20 something year old , I wouldn’t talk to a guy for more than 6 months
Thank you. When I tell people they tell me that's why I am alone..because I don't make moves on guys.
I feel like if we have to do the chasing we may end up with guys who are more feminine, and don’t take the lead anyways. 😯
You’re not strange for not making the moves on guys. It’s the right thing to do. Let them make the first move and if it sparks interest then you can respond accordingly.
@@TranquilWanderer Are you single now?
Esselamı aleyküm to all my sisters. Recently I had a similar experience with a man, at the beginning he was talking about marriage non-stop and I was so naive to believe that, I committed to this man for 5 years. For the last 3 years he was not geniue, honest or loving but I kept putting effort and chased him because I actually believed that the relationship ment to lead us to a marriage. He broke up with me 1 month ago when my family was waiting for engagement, today is Eid al Adha, we didn't even celebrated each other. He ate in our house on the last year's eid. I am heart broken that I spent a lot of time even when the signals were obvious that he was not serious with his marriage intentions. May Allah forgive me for my mistakes. My heart aches for the sins that I did.
You are such a lady ❤ ❤❤❤❤❤ this is so true when you want to find the right one the key is patience even if it takes long and you become a bit impatient,good things take time,nothing forced is ever right ❤
I am not a Muslim woman, but thank you ❤
Alhamdullilah! 10:30 Years??? It’s too long..
You should exchange MOST of the details from the first meeting. And maybe three months is maximum time.
Sister Nafisa you talked about things ladies do that show they aren't ready for marriage. I kindly request you to make a video on that particular topic. Things to work on before marriage, such as hygiene, cooking skills etcetera. Otherwise Jazaakillahu khairah for all the beautiful reminders.
May Allah be pleased with you ❤️. Amiin
She actually does have videos on these topics :) I remember watching them
As salaamu Alaikum. The need for love and wanting to be married, have children, be apart of a family, sometimes puts us muslim women in some situations, especially reverts who dont have a Wakeel. Some of these muslim men play with our emotions because we are vulnerable. May Allaah protect us, bring us Men who will adore and maintain us. Aamiin
Aameen, yaa Rabb ❤
Girl, some Muslim “men” of today are really something else. I pray insha’Allah we all find a good spouse.
Ameen
Are you single?
@@deko566 yes i am singelll come my way jabriil mohamed
She speaks in language of facts ✌︎⭐︎
I needed this advice a year back . anyways alhumdullilah u made things clear why it didn't work out. n i'm happy that it didn't
Wish this video came out a couple months ago 😭 but also came at the perfect time because I needed this.
Allahuma barik sister, my favorite content creator allahuma barik you always so coherent.
Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Jazak Allahu khairan ❤❤
All i hear is facts! Thank you so much for this❤ Allahuma Barik🥺
SubhanaAllah sister, i almost was going to do it! AllhamdulilALLAH Allah send me here to listen to you thank you so much may Allah bless you so much and please never stop making your videos
Literally the best video I've ever watched.
How can I like this video in a million times sis @Nafisa peal. Because this is what I discussed with my guy yesterday that "I will be 30 years old In Sha Allah by next year, what's your plan for this relationship in the next 2 months" but unfortunately he couldn't provide the right answer to my question but anyways that doesn't change my mood instead it makes me realized that I still needed to pressurize Allah more to grant me my soulmate.
I’ve stated this a million times and more.. chase Allah not a man. Through Allah, you will find your man.
Men know exactly what they want! Give them the opportunity to approach!!
I did this mistake of chasing a guy whom i met through a metrimonial site, thought proposal was sent by him only but later I have to initiate anything.After doing all efforts I had to leave him realising that this is not a women's job to chase a guy.He wasted my 8 months,end up saying he is looking for a girl friend 🤷
What do you mean? Initiate everything?
@@maryamamin1408 for having words.message,call
I'm glad you left sis
Wow so much wisdom in this actually I was busy chasing someone little did i know i am devaluing myself
I am looking forward to next video about how to show interest in a dignified way.
Nafisa, I love what you’re doing. May Allah bless you and your family. ♥️
From personal experience I only can agree. If he doesn’t show interest and you’re trying to give and give more, it’s only a waste of time.
The question I asked myself was: do I feel better being single or getting to know him? If you have to overthink again and again if he has interest in you, please leave him and do yourself a favour.
Sadly some of my girlfriends who did what you say always complain about why the guys don’t want to be with them after they have done so much for the guys…. Because guys need to feel like ur the price they need to feel that you are a highly valued person who knows her own value so they can see the future with you being the anchor if the boat is unstable cuz you can hold yourself together.. THAT to man is what they deeply need from the woman they want a serious relationship with. Cuz they know how they are as men sometimes making silly decisions, they need to see the respect in you and the respect he can provide to you. ❤😊
Greetings to all my Muslim brothers in the world. May Allah be pleased with us, protect us from the torment of Hell and reward us with Paradise.
I really needed thisss, Jazaka Allah
Thank you very much!
This is exactly what I needed, May Allah swt blesses you!
I learned this the hard way!
masha Allah Nafisa I m really impressed with how you chose's the subjects very wiselyجزاك الله خيرا
I just came in to your video and this is really helpful. I wish you also have a podcast.
If only I knew this in my younger years.
Salam Alaykum sister, It's like when we're not interested in a man, they chase us, they make an effort and they try and they see that the girl doesn't do her part and the boy doesn't realize it. Or they don't want to see it. I really liked your advice, we have to value ourselves and value our time. Barakallahu fik ❤
Anciently the woman used to throw a scarf to implement that she selected him to be her man. It is the woman that must decide and not the other way around brothers and sisters.
This is the best video I have seen… May Allah bless you ❤
I recommend the Muslim Narcissist book by Dr Mona Alyedressey PH.D she helps women/ men recognise the right signs to look at in a relationship so to avoid narcissistic men who trap women in an abusive relationship. As a male I found your video always insightful and knowledgeable,
I would say the same to men, but only in a louder voice, since men are the prize and the main focus in the world.
SubhanaAllah!!!! Sis you’re so right on this very beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah this was so needed 🤲🏾🤲🏾
Whew! Spot on, hit the nail on the head, and all of the above! May Allah bless you for this very valuable advice. ❤
I have just joined to your chanel.And seen that you are gorgeous and knowledgable woman.MashaAllah.💚May Allah grand you with Jannah
Asc yup agreed 1000% . Let the man Do the chase