Please do it with the windows up, at a gas station, volume so high it's distorted as shit, while you spend 20 minutes inside the store paying for a lot of individual items as you remember them. People behind you are furious as the cashier asks you "is that all?" . You say yes. Pause for a few moments, and remember that pack of swishers you meant to get, too, as people behind you let out a synchronized exhale.....
Tim Dillon playing in the background as I'm nearing 5 stars is my new peak GTA experience. I'd rise to the top with the power of beachfront real estate
Tim is one of a kind... No guest, hour long rant, satire so thick you couldn't cut it with B12, the cold open rolls itself into a ball but the deadpan cold closing is the cherry on top, a processed Styrofoam cherry in your colon Shirley temple garnish, that's a chef's kiss
I went to summer camp with John Tucker. Was in the same cabin. He is a great example of chivalry. When my little sister was cold he gave her his own sweat shirt, off his back. 30 years later she is still thankful.
The "uncontacted" tribesman is wearing boardshorts from walmart, a flat brim hat, and has a beer gut and love handles. I'd say this tribe has had contact for awhile.
Exactly. Anybody with excess body fat and factory made clothes is not living as some kind of primeval hunter gatherer in an uncontacted Amazon rainforest paradise.
I suffer from chronic depression & anxiety, so there isn’t much in life I look forward too, always look forward to Tims podcast though. Stockholm, Sweden 🇸🇪
Everything you need for a celebrity home invasion is available at Costco. Unfortunately, when you leave Costco with a shed, barbecue, and 4 kayaks, you're already down $3000.
I was thinking this during the podcast. "Oh you guys are upset? Welcome to being a backwards white guy mid 20th century." Yeah those guys you think were evil, go find a mirror.
Timmy talking about a 3 hour shopping trip like that's long is so precious! Growing up, my mom took me on 6-8 hr grocery shopping trips several times. To be fair, I'm the youngest of 10 kids and we were poor, so she had to buy carefully and in bulk.
I’m listening to this on my car speakers at Costco loading my pallet size thing of chips in my trunk and I suddenly hear Tim start talking mad shit about Costco and I just start looking around at everyone 😭😂😂
The wnba Segway is so perfect and Tim’s explanation of why he won’t be spotted at a Lakers game is gold, this dudes last of a dying breed and definitely furthest from a sellout.
Always top quality even when I disagree with him about Ukraine and Israel. I love Tim so much that I put the podcast on on the way to school so that my 15 and 13 year olds listen to him. They learn more with Tim than in the Catholic private School We’ve put them so they only meet the rif raf when they will need their pools cleaned
I’m at Chicago O’Hare airport. Just passed Lori Lightfoot as I approached my gate. She made direct eye contact with me. lol She was walking with plain clothed security detail (one man). I miss the days when Tim talked about Lori. She gave such good material to work with!
Tim makes my wonderful day more wonderful while people that constantly give themselves a bad day listen to Tim to get mad and have a more awful day! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
Funny. I got the opposite vibe. It’s what’s suppose to be. It’s about time they join the modern world, probably they will not survive but it’s a knife fight out there
Damn, bro. Tim actually listened to Bill Burr's advice to make the background of the set a dawn rising. The lore of this legendary podcast grows each episode. Thank you, Tim for being the brightest beacon of hope for me like the Sun dawning on a new day.
Weekly reminder that Timmy needs his own radio station on GTA6
Played on the loudspeaker at Wal-Mart and Target
FR
This man deserves a cameo
This mans dedication is unmatched... UNMATCHED I SAY!
I hate this comment and I wish adults watched this show
“I’m sorry that happened to you in the Ukraine… but I need my pool done.” 😂😂😂
Very reasonable.
"Why don't you run from Russians like you ran away from our June 1st deadline"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣that topk me out!
We wish them well
😂😂😂😂
The mental image of Tim in a pool is slightly nauseating. Does he not have any shame?
Tim is the last bastion of free journalism.
If Tim went actual unfiltered, it would be his last video on a "G" platform.
Not even close lol
The only real podcast left
so sad that you think this is journalism
💯💯💯💯
My favorite stories are the unrelatable ones. Keep the hampton pool type stories coming
I enjoy driving around my city listening to TD at full volume with my windows down to gauge people’s reactions.
Please film that😅...the looks!
Please do it with the windows up, at a gas station, volume so high it's distorted as shit, while you spend 20 minutes inside the store paying for a lot of individual items as you remember them. People behind you are furious as the cashier asks you "is that all?" .
You say yes. Pause for a few moments, and remember that pack of swishers you meant to get, too, as people behind you let out a synchronized exhale.....
I’d give you a thumb’s up.
@@Jdowling357Timmy D’s gas station short stories written by J.K. Dowling.
I turn it down when in drive thrus to avoid spittle in my buns
Tim’s weekly State Of the Nation addresses are top notch!
Tim in top form! He’s even better live.
💯👏🏾
Tim didn't even shit his pants. Dillon for President 2024!
Blessed be Timothy
Best Comedian Yes or Yes
We wish him well..
Anyone else is Naught Geeeewd!
Theo and tim goats !
🎉
Best gay comedian
Auntie Tim's Fireside Chats absolutely slap every time
King shit
auntie tims fireside chats should be a tshirt
“Auntie Tim”!?!? 😂😂😂
@@fredocuomo5386 I would gladly make a bunch and give Tim $5 for every $500k sold
This episode was hilarious. Him saying he would mouth "Im sorry" had me in tears. Its one of my favorite episodes in the past 2 years or so
Oh were so back
Who are you kidding Tim if Seinfeld hit you, you'd call MORGAN & MORGAN
Missed opportunity for a perfect ad promo 😂
😂😂😂
Perfect 😂😂😂
10/10
I was left in a car for eight hours in the sun with dark color clothing on meth with no water on soda.Theft left rott
You're so honest, "I wouldn't hit back because I respect success."
I was left in a car for eight hours in the sun with dark color clothing on meth with no water on soda.Theft left rott
“Why did you run away from Russia the way you’re running away from our June 1st deadline?” 🤣😂😂😂😆😆🤣😆😆🤣🤣🤣🤣😆
6:07 read that at the right time
Tim Dillon GTA 6 radio station button ~~~~~~~~>
I'm km their all day
Tim Dillon playing in the background as I'm nearing 5 stars is my new peak GTA experience. I'd rise to the top with the power of beachfront real estate
1v1 Knife Fights in FakeBiz Arena@@darthbiscuit
Stop. Please. It's really obnoxious and cringeworthy to keep talking about that
@@ChaZ-cp6qwGo back to the CHAZ, Chaz Bono. Sick weirdo.
Tim is one of a kind... No guest, hour long rant, satire so thick you couldn't cut it with B12, the cold open rolls itself into a ball but the deadpan cold closing is the cherry on top, a processed Styrofoam cherry in your colon Shirley temple garnish, that's a chef's kiss
"A Chef's Kiss" is what Morbidly Obese BummBoy Tim Dillon calls his nightly Tanqueray & Turpintine enema...
“Get in the car and drive away.”
Words to live by in these crazy times.
💯
I went to summer camp with John Tucker. Was in the same cabin.
He is a great example of chivalry.
When my little sister was cold he gave her his own sweat shirt, off his back. 30 years later she is still thankful.
The "uncontacted" tribesman is wearing boardshorts from walmart, a flat brim hat, and has a beer gut and love handles. I'd say this tribe has had contact for awhile.
Exactly. Anybody with excess body fat and factory made clothes is not living as some kind of primeval hunter gatherer in an uncontacted Amazon rainforest paradise.
they had smartphones and shit before, but starlink seems to be their first time with high speed internet, which does make a difference
@@cx2900we wish them well
But a dishonest jest
The mystique of the Masai (African Amish) was ruined when I saw one whip a smartphone out of his tunic.
The vibe of the back drop is un-matched
i listen to Tim Dillon while sleeping, doing chores, playing video games, driving
i wish he could still do coke, i'd bet he was a fucking hoot.
Nothing like an angry fat gay guy to put you in the zone
Almost always it's when I'm making dinner. I guess I won't be hearing him anymore once I get on dat dere Ozempic and stop shopping at Costco.
The girl holding up the starlink about to ruin their whole civilization with a smile is made perfect by her wearing a Harvard t-shirt
....in her other anti-depressants and a free Palestine placard
@@Lex-wx3ib lol did you know the stats for Republican wives on pain killers or anti depressants? I was actually shocked by the numbers.
@@manuelluna6454same for Democrats 😂 they are all drugged up. Nothing new here. Where did you get that study at I want to look at it.
@@manuelluna6454 Hey giggles. No , we don't know the stats and neither do you dummy
@@manuelluna6454turns out both sides are drug addicts
I suffer from chronic depression & anxiety, so there isn’t much in life I look forward too, always look forward to Tims podcast though.
Stockholm, Sweden 🇸🇪
Exercise, read, look inward(ha) . You got this brother.. much love from Indiana. Keep your damn head up
@@raydawg6364 Love reading comments like this one ♥️
I’m about to go workout while listening to this. Then wine and pizza for dinner.
Sending a hug from USA 🤗
@@stephaniechambell1493 Living in America 🎶 ❤️
You live in Sweden? I suggest you check out hiking trails there. World class stuff and hiking/fitness cured most of my issues.
Rogan has opened my eyes to so many funny people. Timmy D is brilliant. Just chewing up an hour or so on his own and doesn't miss a beat. Bravo sir
The Costco rant is one for the ages. Tim Dillon bullied me into canceling my Costco membership and going to shop at local farms
I like to put casino ambience in the background of Tim's videos and pretend he's a random guy telling me all this at a blackjack table.
Listening to this whole cleaning the bakery at Costco 😂
Just wrote my 4th step listening to Tim.
In essence he’s my sponsor
That transition to the Blue Chew Ad was flawless
The high pitch peepee killed lol
I'm not American, Why am i amused and can relate to all these Rants? Tim is a GOAT
American is an attitude, it’s a state of mind 😂
Because love has no borders.
Are u Muslim Yasser? Are u here to harm us ? 😮
@@garyny4073 Yes and I'm here to Charm you 😎
@@garyny4073 YES and I'm here to Charm you 🤗
Tim: (Shuffles papers for no reason)
It’s so Anchorman 🎬
It's an Alex Jones tribute.
Dennis Miller did it on SNL Weekend Update a million years ago.
@@5after4am heck I think I saw Walter Cronkite do it, too.
@@magicpowersHE HAS THE DOCUMENTS
This the only podcast where I don’t skip the add reads
The Best Podcast, Yes or Yes?
First time I ever turned on notifications for a show, nothing shows up 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Love ya Tim 😘
Everything you need for a celebrity home invasion is available at Costco. Unfortunately, when you leave Costco with a shed, barbecue, and 4 kayaks, you're already down $3000.
But you don't have to pay,just be black.
And your trunk is already full so you cant steal very much
This is where I get my news these days
Kaitlyn Clark is the Jackie Robinson of the wnba
I was thinking this during the podcast. "Oh you guys are upset? Welcome to being a backwards white guy mid 20th century." Yeah those guys you think were evil, go find a mirror.
new background makes tim looks like a beached merman chatting it up
thats a good observation john haskell lol
He's more of a manatee.
Timmy talking about a 3 hour shopping trip like that's long is so precious! Growing up, my mom took me on 6-8 hr grocery shopping trips several times.
To be fair, I'm the youngest of 10 kids and we were poor, so she had to buy carefully and in bulk.
The best podcast in the world.
The re stacking of his papers every 7 minutes cracks me up 😂😂 he does it with such vigor
“Welcome to Costco, I love you”
"I know this place pretty good - I went to law school here"
@@DennisMoore664classic lol
The best place to stock up on plenty of Brawndo.
Timmy D. is my new favorite comedian - so hilarious!
For me Kurt Metzger and TD
Tap into his older episodes😂 they’re much more wild
"It's what we do. We're good at it. Taking the easy way out and making it look hard is actually more difficult than doing the hard work" 💯💯
I hope every cop Tim ever has for security is a female officer.
The comedic value far outweighs any risk to Tim or the officers.
Gold ! Pure gold
Nothing outweighs Tim!
...I mean Tim's security of course... 😏
Tim is an overweight gay man , his security detail will consist of sharpshooting young twinks .
Our lord and savior has returned, all hail the most famous lesbian woman of color, Timothy Dillon
Top comment! Hahaha
Heheyhey, GET THE FUCK out of my office… ok? How bout you get the fuck out of my office, ok?
the home invasion seg is gold.
My edibles kicked in about halfway through and I got lost in the reflection of Tim's sunglasses for about 15 minutes.
I thought tim had a can of tuna on his desk and I thought it made sense... Then i realized it was the label on the water bottle 😂
I can see it.
😂
The fact that I accepted it naturally 😅
I see the vision
can we please get a compilation of every time Tim, has said "fatty boom batty" on the podcast?
I’m listening to this on my car speakers at Costco loading my pallet size thing of chips in my trunk and I suddenly hear Tim start talking mad shit about Costco and I just start looking around at everyone 😭😂😂
He thinks Costco is Walmart, and I’m personally offended
An expanded mind can never shrink. That native tribe will never be the same again. 😂
they will be memeing by this time next year 😅
@@galaxyspace76 Video memes for the tongue noises?
The Internet is officially more devastating than the Toba event.
The cockinball cactus looks strong today. 👍
😂 The bit about the LA home invasion, my goodness!!
“I see a black guy going in a house in California, I say I hope he was invited because he staying”
Thank you Tim for blessing my hangover
The wnba Segway is so perfect and Tim’s explanation of why he won’t be spotted at a Lakers game is gold, this dudes last of a dying breed and definitely furthest from a sellout.
That cactus is phallic.
Indeed
That's why he got it.
It's a piece of the cactus he broke at the lesbos house
I was left in a car for eight hours in the sun with dark color clothing on meth with no water on soda.Theft left rott
So's your mom.
Tim thinks the tribe was “uncontacted”.
Tribe: wearing t shirts and shorts from Target circa early 2000’s
Always top quality even when I disagree with him about Ukraine and Israel. I love Tim so much that I put the podcast on on the way to school so that my 15 and 13 year olds listen to him. They learn more with Tim than in the Catholic private School We’ve put them so they only meet the rif raf when they will need their pools cleaned
need an edit of every time Tim has said "fatty boom batty"
And make it my ringtone
I ❤ it when he says that! 😂
So true about Costco shoppers. They should try to be fit like Walmart shoppers.
I’m at Chicago O’Hare airport. Just passed Lori Lightfoot as I approached my gate. She made direct eye contact with me. lol
She was walking with plain clothed security detail (one man).
I miss the days when Tim talked about Lori. She gave such good material to work with!
Did you go find a Priest thereafter to be bathed and baptized in Holy Water again? 😇
I have her a disapproving glare
She’s much shorter in person
At O'hare now...that was Wanda Sykes. Put on your glasses 👓😅🕶
dude I “love” getting trolled. That was Lori. Wanda looks completely different.
@taniabluebell3099
I miss those jokes as well. Do you remember all of the cardboard cutouts of Lightfoot that Chicago businesses put up? 😆
The callback to Jerry to end the episode was brilliant
I need to speak with my Uber psychologist after these pods
I get such a kick when the guys in the back laugh at Tim's jokes!
Tim dillon is my weekly church session
he really did fill that niche that uncle joey left, now we have aunt tim
the "networking" rant is GOLD 1:06:05
Smoke a blunt to this 💯
Finally not being dependent on weed to this (& is a high in itself)😮lol just sayin;)
@@continuum5180same
@@continuum5180keep up the good sobriety🎉
Ooh yall are so cool and in control @@continuum5180
Rolling one now
Tim Dillon + Bridget Phetasy on a Sunday. Magnificent.
The tribe in the Amazon is going to start ordering from Amazon! I'm headed to Costco
Loved the rant that started around the 1 hour mark
The song I’d play while driving away would be More Than a Feeling.
Gotta go with Don't Look Back.
"Arabs & Jews"
Tim is a breath of fresh air- I love him
I can't believe that damn pool isn't done yet.
Tim Dillon is the Diogenes of our time
Truly
This assessment is spot on except Tim is rich and has expensive sunglasses and wears Ralph Lauren Polo, therefore he’s better
@@cecilyerkerBut Diogenes had a chicken.
Tim is cynical but in a fun way 🤗
“Alt right comedian podcaster Tim Dillon” 😂😂
"Let's wait and see if Mindy Kaling drops" 😂😂😂😂
“This guy will be Kyle Rittenhouse in an hour” 😂😂😂
In a fight between Tim Dillon and Jerry Seinfeld my money is on Tim every time.
Jerry has that Manhattan neighborhood fight tactics Tim has that childhood trauma rage common in long Island
Manhattan vs. Long Island...
Jerry is very fit and Tim looks like a marshmallow with legs. He isn’t a healthy man. …unfortunately 😢
Thank god for my favorite sunday lesbian talk show, my only source of news in this disgusting world!
Tim makes my wonderful day more wonderful while people that constantly give themselves a bad day listen to Tim to get mad and have a more awful day! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
Tim get in shape, we love you too much to lose you early
The good ones always go fast, at least he's leaving us hours of material like our brother Patrice
@itstrbo lmao you talking like he is terminally ill.
@deezlesteezle I mean, he's still smoking and is obese... those are terminal habits
Towards the end Tim always hits us with the most accurate life advice that goes against what conventional wisdom says and it’s purely amazing. Lol
Kevin Spacey should star as Tim in the movie
Starlink to the Marubo. Welcome to the nightmare friends. Post-dystopia, pre-apocalypse. I'm going to Costco. 🌭
Funny. I got the opposite vibe. It’s what’s suppose to be. It’s about time they join the modern world, probably they will not survive but it’s a knife fight out there
I'm here for the solid investment advice
One of the funniest pods I've ever heard
Tim has Jordan Peterson level intelligence offered up in the MOST HILARIOUS timing and delivery. Truly a treasure Timmy D!
they are friends !
Truly
Jordan Peterson yikes..?. A grifter if there ever was one…
Lmao I don't even hate Peterson, but that's an insult to Tim
They were ironically making the same points about wokism and the overall cultural gayness lol...I'm a fan of both of them actually.
Letting them into the party at the peak of insanity is the best thing I’ve heard in months that’s it spot on interpretation of the times, Tim.
Do not be totally distracted by Timothy's delivery. He is dropping Gems & Jewels upon the herd. Mental Manna.
Jewels by Podcaster Tim Dillon. The error has pushed your ship date back 4 months.
holy fuck the costco/ozempic rant is all time fucking gold. tim is god damn savant.
Need Tim and Alex jones back on joe rogan asap
Not gonna happen
@@philipp-q5fwhy?
@@l-train7876Federal malfeasance.
Haven’t watched a ep in a hot minute because all the quality ones were on patron but this one was hilarious and on point 💯😂
Best Costco ad
The accuracy of his bit on the American work ethic. Beautiful.
Tim parted the sand by sitting down there 😂
Damn, bro. Tim actually listened to Bill Burr's advice to make the background of the set a dawn rising. The lore of this legendary podcast grows each episode. Thank you, Tim for being the brightest beacon of hope for me like the Sun dawning on a new day.
I like to listen while I work out and catch extra motivation when he says fatty boom batty. 🎉
I like the way he really enunciated it today😂
Tim's perspective is reality.
It’s a real knife fight out there.
Costco is the best. Good vibes and good people both employees and shoppers.