I solved all my relationship problems in my mid 40's when I decided to follow celibacy, and amazingly everything just fell into place. My life as a middle aged man blossomed, I didn't realise just how emotionally draining it was trying to please others, but mostly my own desires! Truly, if you conquer lust, attachment and dependency, life is sooooo much more rewarding and you feel a sense of self-sovereignty.
Celibacy is not the solution, it’s like avoiding the core issues that need attention and healing which are triggered in intimate relationships for the purpose of resolution❤❤
@@RitaP41Id argue you dont have to but it definitely helps. In my case I had enough good experiences to combat the bad ones after I was at a low point when someone I cared deeply about just up and disappeared. It was after really looking at all the bad avoidant and anxious habits I formed and it took over 2 months to really feel like I found peace with myself. But on the other hand I dont think I couldve pushed myself if I didnt have at least those good experiences where I felt like I actually mattered for once in my life, its a decent balance between wanting to have support but not overdepending which I only do if I actually get attached hence me driving someone off via anxiety despite before that being very hesitant to rely for my needs being met. But who knows everyone is different but I know its possible to some extent for some to resolve their issues in private albeit these things werent as obvious until I actually got into a relationship.
@@gatorssbm sounds like you are pretty securely attached. For people with childhood Neglect and Abandonment wounds it's a completely different story that takes Years even with someone there.
@@RitaP41 I feel like I am now but trust me I was an anxious mess with very avoidant tendencies lol it near ruined my current relationship. My partner was as well but thats what motivated me to better myself and now I actually feel confident to support them vs getting my fight or flight response triggered.
I blocked out negative things that happened to me as a child, and it interfered with my adult relationships until it got so bad, memories came back in flashbacks. Still working on healing the wounds and focussing on my purpose in life to bring me purpose. Love happens when we are living freely, happily, which attracts positive people.
When Lewis asks, and I'm paraphrasing, "if the man isn't driven by testosterone when she's ovulating, could that hurt the relationship because she isn't getting what she wants?" I wonder. Why not ask, "so, since the bad boy isn't what she wants the other 3 weeks of the month, does that hurt the relationship because that's not what she wants?" The stress on sex and bad boy for the short time she's ovulating, and the endless relationships that were created based on the heat of that time of the month, amazes me. I wouldn't partner with a lover, friend, or job that was great for me 1 week per month, but lacking the other 3. Makes no sense.
I married a man whose mother was as crazy as my own. I was extremely immature at the time, having had no guidance on how to become a functioning adult. I figured it out on my own, and I finally started to grow. The problem was, he didn't, and he resented me for it, becoming abusive to try and hold me back. I escaped, my family and my marriage, and while I'm not whole yet, I'm working on it daily. Self-awareness is a huge part of growing into who you should have been to begin with.
The part about oxytocin & testosterone & peak fertility. Holy moly. Mind blown. This is intense. So when in a Woman's cycle is it best to date!? Lol Probably not when I'm in the peak fertility part of my cycle. 😂 Amazing conversation. Thank you to everyone involved in making it happen.
Correct ! I personaly stay home - no parties or similar - when ovulating. And men can smell it too ! They run after you too which makes it harder to resist lol 🙂
There's no contradiction between the man's testosterone going down and the woman's needs. In the time they are having a small baby she would naturally be breastfeeding throughout the night and waking up periodically to check on the baby. All those things suppress ovulation in a woman. So when she's not ovulating and she's not fertile she doesn't want a man with high testosterone. She wants someone dependable to support her and the baby. Later when she begins to reduce breastfeeding she'll start ovulating again and then she's gonna be interested in physical intimacy again.
Ovulation still occurs while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not the birth control that people think it is. So many women have fallen pregnant while still nursing a little one and end up pregnant 6-8 weeks after having given birth.
@@Cclearly9 Read what I wrote. I mentioned several things that all need to occur for ovulation to be suppressed. I've breastfed for many years, believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
Love the BSA C15! A gorgeous beastie that deserves to over winter indoors. And who wouldn’t want to sit back with a cuppa or glass of something, admiring this beautiful piece of technology ❤❤
This simply gives the science behind the behaviors we’ve been observing for eons. Take your time, master self knowledge and build romantic relationships carefully.
"prairie voles..." "what's that?" "a rat like creature" "a prairie dog?" "no. A rat like creature" Dood. LISTEN to what she's saying. And then he continues to call them rats or mice... They're voles. It's really not that hard.
I’ve been a widow for 10 months. I got to know 3 men during that time- 2 of them widowers 😮. This is so awkward! I am not ready to admit anybody yet and I am not sure I will ever be.
Another way of saying that you are healing and growing and others are dropping away.Is your vibration or frequency have changed or your personality.. And now we once were attracted to something now we are repelled by . I continuous Pendulum Of contrast and growth. Lif is school
Here's to science for explaining what people disn't know: sleep with a guy soon and he's not into you after that. Wait a while and thus have increased chances of a committed relationship. Which will ensure stability for the long run. ✌🏻✨ P.S.: I like her a lot, but science itself is sometimes... knocking on already open doors.
This is a neurological explanation to a phenomenon we were familiar with from a behavioural scientific stand point (within sociology or psychology). Different sciences confirming the same occurrence.
@6:30 curious if pets also lower man’s testosterone if they sleep in same room in same way as babies (obviously not the gross thing of having pets around during everything )
If one partner is healing and growing is exclusive to them leaving the other party that's not, does that explain people who leave their married partner whom they share children with? Usually it's the wife that leaves. Does this mean she has decided to grow where the husband has not... even though the divorce will often greatly hurt the children? What about when someone is trying to grow in the relationship and the other person leaves because they don't want to grow?
Amazing interview. Love is the same whether man or woman 😉. It is true too, when you realize you are NOT the victim in your life, instead you ARE the adult making the decisions and standing accountable for actions creating for repercussions of words or deeds- Life is extremely pleasant. And yes, a partner attracted to victims, are no longer happy campers with people with boundary lines, no excuses, and non-compliance to victimhood.
Men should sleep in the same room as the baby and the testosterone lowers also so he doesn't go out and find another women during this phase of the family development
I solved all my relationship problems in my mid 40's when I decided to follow celibacy, and amazingly everything just fell into place. My life as a middle aged man blossomed, I didn't realise just how emotionally draining it was trying to please others, but mostly my own desires! Truly, if you conquer lust, attachment and dependency, life is sooooo much more rewarding and you feel a sense of self-sovereignty.
What made you decide to follow celibacy? I always wonder about why men take it on - I don’t find many men going down this path so I am very curious ☺️
@@KimJilene Read my comment as its states very clearly why celibacy is total self power.
Waiting till marriage is slowly gaining traction haha
Celibacy is not the solution, it’s like avoiding the core issues that need attention and healing which are triggered in intimate relationships for the purpose of resolution❤❤
Amen.
Dr Tara Swart -Neuroscientist, Oxford graduate. Psychiatrist and lecturer at MIT I believe.
Please put her name in the title! Or at least in description (not enough;)). To good to not be known❤
Dr. Tara Swartz
Agreed!
@@sandrataylor9568 Thank you!!!!!!! I will post it so everybody can know instead of looking for it! Thank you!
Yes, he should credit her in the title or very least description
@@sandrataylor9568shouldn't have to do that, the info should be here, on the content she helped to create
Why is this woman’s name not shared in the description? She’s brilliant 👏
She is Dr Tara Swart
Inner child work is really hard. Especially abandonment .
So true. Parents, husband and ex all abandoned me. I’m done.
You don't do it alone. Either with a therapist or in a relationship.
@@RitaP41Id argue you dont have to but it definitely helps. In my case I had enough good experiences to combat the bad ones after I was at a low point when someone I cared deeply about just up and disappeared. It was after really looking at all the bad avoidant and anxious habits I formed and it took over 2 months to really feel like I found peace with myself. But on the other hand I dont think I couldve pushed myself if I didnt have at least those good experiences where I felt like I actually mattered for once in my life, its a decent balance between wanting to have support but not overdepending which I only do if I actually get attached hence me driving someone off via anxiety despite before that being very hesitant to rely for my needs being met. But who knows everyone is different but I know its possible to some extent for some to resolve their issues in private albeit these things werent as obvious until I actually got into a relationship.
@@gatorssbm sounds like you are pretty securely attached. For people with childhood Neglect and Abandonment wounds it's a completely different story that takes Years even with someone there.
@@RitaP41 I feel like I am now but trust me I was an anxious mess with very avoidant tendencies lol it near ruined my current relationship. My partner was as well but thats what motivated me to better myself and now I actually feel confident to support them vs getting my fight or flight response triggered.
I blocked out negative things that happened to me as a child, and it interfered with my adult relationships until it got so bad, memories came back in flashbacks. Still working on healing the wounds and focussing on my purpose in life to bring me purpose. Love happens when we are living freely, happily, which attracts positive people.
Going through the same thing, it's the worst thing I've gone through.
Love listening to Dr. Tara! She has such a soothing voice and charming personality 😍
Neuroscience convinced me, no hookups
That is studied in mise not in humans.
You can use that kowlege only halfway for humans.
I don’t think I’ve seen Lewis laugh this much. They have great chemistry.
Agreed. I love seeing Lewis smile so much
This woman needs to write a book with all this info in. I’d need at least 40 copies for my friends alone!!!
I think she has.
Book - the source
she did ❤
Book the source, incredible!
When Lewis asks, and I'm paraphrasing, "if the man isn't driven by testosterone when she's ovulating, could that hurt the relationship because she isn't getting what she wants?" I wonder. Why not ask, "so, since the bad boy isn't what she wants the other 3 weeks of the month, does that hurt the relationship because that's not what she wants?" The stress on sex and bad boy for the short time she's ovulating, and the endless relationships that were created based on the heat of that time of the month, amazes me. I wouldn't partner with a lover, friend, or job that was great for me 1 week per month, but lacking the other 3. Makes no sense.
Smart brother, I've done it more then once, and, THE JUICE ISNT WORTH THE SQUEEZE ,
You both are bantering like two young teenagers. Sooo cute
The law of attraction described through biology. Fascinating
I married a man whose mother was as crazy as my own. I was extremely immature at the time, having had no guidance on how to become a functioning adult. I figured it out on my own, and I finally started to grow. The problem was, he didn't, and he resented me for it, becoming abusive to try and hold me back. I escaped, my family and my marriage, and while I'm not whole yet, I'm working on it daily. Self-awareness is a huge part of growing into who you should have been to begin with.
This woman is brilliant
🙌
Who is this woman? What is her name? She is fascinating
She is Dr. Tara Swart
Why do you need to be asked about her name? Can't you leave a complete information about your video? @@GreatnessClips
@@gypsismfair question but...
Your chemistry in this video is so great ❤️ thoroughly enjoyed the laughs
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for watching!
12:15 WAIT LADIES WAIT!!!!!❤❤❤❤
My idea of love is a friend that can actually be trusted. Not a xes interest.
There's an interesting contrast. On the one hand, wounds dictate our love life but chemistry (hormones) also effects our ability to bond.
It’s wounded from lack of unconditional love and it’s been proved each relationship
‘I’m not getting jealous’. Lol 😂
The part about oxytocin & testosterone & peak fertility. Holy moly. Mind blown. This is intense. So when in a Woman's cycle is it best to date!? Lol Probably not when I'm in the peak fertility part of my cycle. 😂 Amazing conversation. Thank you to everyone involved in making it happen.
Correct ! I personaly stay home - no parties or similar - when ovulating. And men can smell it too ! They run after you too which makes it harder to resist lol 🙂
Imagine how being on hormonal birth control can thwart our mate choices 🤯
I notice it too. Certain times of the month I just wanna hook up with a hot man but other times I just want a cuddly partner
@@Cclearly9 It can really mess up the way a woman chooses a partner.
There's no contradiction between the man's testosterone going down and the woman's needs. In the time they are having a small baby she would naturally be breastfeeding throughout the night and waking up periodically to check on the baby. All those things suppress ovulation in a woman. So when she's not ovulating and she's not fertile she doesn't want a man with high testosterone. She wants someone dependable to support her and the baby. Later when she begins to reduce breastfeeding she'll start ovulating again and then she's gonna be interested in physical intimacy again.
Ovulation still occurs while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not the birth control that people think it is. So many women have fallen pregnant while still nursing a little one and end up pregnant 6-8 weeks after having given birth.
@@Cclearly9 Read what I wrote. I mentioned several things that all need to occur for ovulation to be suppressed. I've breastfed for many years, believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
The oxytocin in the breastfeeding process drives her phsycial desire
Just like anything else you have to take in the good and kick the bad aside. Some of this is great, and some not so much.
Love the BSA C15! A gorgeous beastie that deserves to over winter indoors. And who wouldn’t want to sit back with a cuppa or glass of something, admiring this beautiful piece of technology ❤❤
Totally agree about the bonding
“Im not getting jealous🤨” lol
This simply gives the science behind the behaviors we’ve been observing for eons. Take your time, master self knowledge and build romantic relationships carefully.
"prairie voles..."
"what's that?"
"a rat like creature"
"a prairie dog?"
"no. A rat like creature"
Dood. LISTEN to what she's saying.
And then he continues to call them rats or mice...
They're voles.
It's really not that hard.
Enjoyed listening to this conversation.
New dating approach. The going slow approach specifically in the beginning
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for listening!
It’s over for me. Until the next time…
I’m so tickled by your responses! 😂
You are awesome man, this was a great discussion.
I’ve been a widow for 10 months. I got to know 3 men during that time- 2 of them widowers 😮. This is so awkward!
I am not ready to admit anybody yet and I am not sure I will ever be.
I did it already!
Amazing discussion ❤
Appreciate you for watching!
Thanks a lot for attaching the science to it.
.... create yourself!
Make them all wait
This is so helpful ❤
Is there a full interview please?
ua-cam.com/video/lzvE0Z-g5m4/v-deo.htmlsi=Q2OTHSe80xyZlLGC
On Lewis Howes School of Greatness
Another way of saying that you are healing and growing and others are dropping away.Is your vibration or frequency have changed or your personality.. And now we once were attracted to something now we are repelled by . I continuous Pendulum Of contrast and growth. Lif is school
Here's to science for explaining what people disn't know: sleep with a guy soon and he's not into you after that. Wait a while and thus have increased chances of a committed relationship. Which will ensure stability for the long run. ✌🏻✨
P.S.: I like her a lot, but science itself is sometimes... knocking on already open doors.
This is a neurological explanation to a phenomenon we were familiar with from a behavioural scientific stand point (within sociology or psychology). Different sciences confirming the same occurrence.
Basic psychology
@6:30 curious if pets also lower man’s testosterone if they sleep in same room in same way as babies (obviously not the gross thing of having pets around during everything )
I skimmed this what's the wound??
Best Video ever 🫶👍
🙌
😂 this is a great one!
Her name is Dr. Tara Swart
Ok, explains some (not all) reasons why widows/widowers prefer to date and remarry widows/widowers. 💞
Please give us her name! She is brillant. Margaret Meadish!!!!
How long is long enough to wait😂
how many people do you think lived in caves? i dont buy that
Name the Woman in title pl
Is kissing and hugging classified as sexual activity?
by themselves - only if they lead to s. activity - representing foreplay.
Basically ladies listen to your grandmas
If one partner is healing and growing is exclusive to them leaving the other party that's not, does that explain people who leave their married partner whom they share children with? Usually it's the wife that leaves. Does this mean she has decided to grow where the husband has not... even though the divorce will often greatly hurt the children?
What about when someone is trying to grow in the relationship and the other person leaves because they don't want to grow?
Very good question. I've seen many woman leave because of desire fulfilment not because their actual desire to grow.
Make them all wait F-O-R-E-V-E-R jk...long-time works ;)
💔
Amazing interview.
Love is the same whether man or woman 😉.
It is true too, when you realize you are NOT the victim in your life, instead you ARE the adult making the decisions and standing accountable for actions creating for repercussions of words or deeds-
Life is extremely pleasant.
And yes, a partner attracted to victims, are no longer happy campers with people with boundary lines, no excuses, and non-compliance to victimhood.
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it!
@@GreatnessClips my pleasure...her wisdom was reconfirming.
Appreciate your kindness in sharing such valuable knowledge!
Firsto🎉 xD Letss gooo on another Segment of wisdom!
🌟
So if we’re abandoned we attract people who were abandoned?
Men should sleep in the same room as the baby and the testosterone lowers also so he doesn't go out and find another women during this phase of the family development
Lewis Howes hahaha man stop deriving facts for humans so ardently from her so as to apply to your real life. hahaha very cute.
Woman want a loving stable relationship overall? 🤣