As a psychotherapist I was surprised to read a study years ago. It said that in terms of lasting effects on brain development, neglect was as toxic for boys as sexual abuse was for girls. In other words that girls have more resilience in the face of neglect and boys have more resilience in the face of abuse. But regarding resilience, it should be obvious that the resilience of a victim does not excuse the behavior of an abuser. The Lord rose from the dead, but that did not excuse Judas.
Any idea where I can read up on this? It reminds me of how people have double standards when young boys or teens are victims of stat grape from attractive women how no one cares because they probably didn’t suffer
The consequences of sex for women has been far more dangerous which explains that difference. It is a mistake to compare female sexuality to male sexuality. For males sexuality is far less consequential.
Girls having more resilience post CSA? How would they even measure that? And over what length of time? Educational attainment isn’t a good measure because the books/work/learning process is a massive distraction from thinking of the trauma so that’s more a coping mechanism, not necessarily a sign of resilience. How does the trauma not get reignited once she becomes a mother in adulthood, especially if she has daughters? Hyper-aware of the devils that lurk with an appetite of feeding on a child’s innocence.
I was molested by a priest when I was 14 and it wasn’t until was 55 that I realized how it had affected my entire life. I have been trying to resolve it for all my adult life. I didn’t talk about it or share about it - even when I tried to my parents wouldn’t believe me. I have finally forgiven but I still think it will take more work to get to the bottom of it. What happened happened. What I make of it now is up to me. I was vulnerable and I did tell him to stop after a while. He did. But this was a deep betrayal and something that needs to be addressed.
I am so sorry to hear this. I was abused as a child and it gave me lifelong PTSD which I am also trying to resolve and allow to roll away in the fullness of time. It took me 40 years to confide in a friend about some of these things for the first time. She happens to be a highly trained counsellor, and is helping me with this. So I want to ask you - have you tried Inner Child work? It is amazing. It will work with a man or a woman, your gender does not matter. I highly recommend it. Blessings to you and I hope you are able to heal at least in some measure from what happened to you.
Look up Tim Fletcher on youtube, he has some amazing presentations on complex trauma, right down to the actual physiological changes that take place in our body related to stress, abuse and neglect. Recognizing personal response patterns, unique to who you are and how your early life experiences formed you, can help. But dont stay bogged in the navel gazing period forever. I hope for peace, joy and contentment for you. My belief is that these things come from God, but look to Christ, not those few who failed to represent him. God will judge. “It would be better for a millstone to be hung around their neck, than to harm a child”, paraphrased but I think it pertains to this one application, as well as others.
It's that you are saddled with the hate and not the abuser. Hating someone does necessary have any affect on them but it will occupy valuable real estate in your mind if you hold on to it.
We don’t seem to hear anything from Milo these days but he was THE big thing pre 2020. Now he seems to be yesterdays news. I do believe that sexual abuse of men and boys is the one thing our society is not talking about seriously, and we should be. That’s the hill I’m dying on.
Like me, he has been doing it a long time, and he said what he wanted to say. He's red pilled millions of people, and so he's semi-retired and working behind the scenes.
@@wakkablockablaw6025please try to realize most everyone does not belong in boxes with basic labels such as “far right and far left”. America is the only country or was, who began using those terms: It’s simply a means of divide and conquer.
@@wakkablockablaw6025Ideologically captured people aren't politically mature. It isn't even correct terminology. Leftist collectivism is leftist collectivism with state control. You can't be both pro and anti-establishment, that is oil and wayer. Just like liberals aren't left, we are center, and reduced calorie libertarian. So busy labeling and othering people, that you can't even just discuss policy. You can tell social media separated people into echo chambers because people weren't obsessed with politics and ideology and party was just an afterthought.
I am a victim of sexual abuse back in my homeland Honduras 🇭🇳 I was raped 6 times, I scaped raped 5 times. The very first time I scaped raped I was 12 or so, the second time I scaped raped I was 15, at 17 years old I was raped. I never thought of myself to be a victim, I did not talk about it. Now, I am able to talk about it. Now, I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed or shy or scared or worried about it. Thank God that I have had never, never, ever allow all those horrible things get on my way. I have never ever in my life drink or smoked or do drugs. I did suffer from depression. Thank you for having Milo on. God bless you all. ❤❤❤
Not trying to be disrespectful, but understand, what is “scape raped”? I noticed you used that term several times, but I don’t understand what you mean by that vs being raped. What is the difference between those terms?
Worked in child psych. All the boys who expressed homosexual or bisexual inclinations had been sexually abused by older teens or grown men. All of them. Not saying all gay men fall into that category, but that's the truth from that experience. And these boys themselves would often engage in grooming behavior towards the younger boys, something we constantly had to be vigilant about.
Uhm, given that you were in child psychology, you are going to be dealing with troubled kids, gay or otherwise..but at least you hold back a little from generalising.
It’s anecdotal, but I’ve only known a couple, and they both had troubled childhoods. Can’t speak to any sexual abuse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the rhetoric about it being a “community” of pariahs simply appeals to some children with unstable or insecure familial attachments.
So brave of Dr. Peterson having Milo. Milo raised the flag about how grooming causes a lot of homosexuality and he was cancelled EVERYWHERE We need Milo back, even if it has to be in Rumble. He is smart and original.
I was banned by Twitter shortly after Milo (Bitcoin and freedom related activist) and removed from Google- good chance this won't be posted by YT, and I can assure you the rejection was God's protection.
@@mattl8774yeah and he realized that was unpopular with the political faction propping him up, so he pivoted to “I only said that because that’s how I deal with the trauma”
up until that podcast he hadn't acknowledged that it was in fact a prey do.him as Trauma splatters in an existence in exacting ways Some people are cognizant to clean it up, others are in denial
Tl;dr: highly intelligent people tend to talk over each other on a subject about which they have deep knowledge and/or experience. They spoke over each other because both are highly intelligent and could “see” several steps into the idea that each was attempting to express. I do the same thing to my wife, and have to put deliberate effort into not completing her thought out loud, even though it takes her several more sentences to get to the end of it, as I already “saw” where she was going to end. To be fair, she sometimes does the same to me, but it is mostly on my part. Anytime you have two people with interest/experience in a similar field/activity, you will get this overlap as they intuit the gist of the idea from just the introduction of it.
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
Wow that's nice She makes you that much!! please is there a way to reach her services, I work 3 jobs and trying to pay off my debts for a while now!! Please help me.
The thing that cannot be mentioned is that "grooming" is extensive and CAUSES a lot of homosexuality in young teens who are victims of it, even if willingly or for money. And the whole LGBT activists know it.
Pedophilia does not cause homosexuality. People are born to BE homosexuals or bisexuals or heterosexuals. But I don't believe they are born to be pedophiles.
Yeah, a gay friend confessed to me he started doing it because he was molested. Nowadays he's an escort for older men and keeps reliving his trauma. The friend circle kicked me out for being stern with him on not becoming a prostitute, the rest defended it with the sex work is work bullshit
@@mcorte2224 To say that someone is gay because that person was molested ... wouldn't be any different than saying that someone is heterosexual or bisexual because that person was molested. I believe that people are born to be heterosexual ... or homosexual ... or bisexual. Promiscuity can be the behavior pattern ... whether a person is heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
@@junevandermark952 why do you believe people are born gay? It seems like most psychological and emotional traits are a mix of both nature and nurture. Why would sexuality be the exception?
@@junevandermark952 I'm gay and was not molested. I remember my evangelical Christian parents (who were honestly wonderful people) could not understand that I was not molested, they kept asking about this situation or that situation in which no molestation took place, then suggested I must not remember it. As I said they were good people (deceased now), but just didn't get it.
It’s heartwarming that Milo loves and is protective of his stepson. That relationship has opened up a whole new depth of understanding to him. Having a child changes everything! That’s a good thing. I’ve always loved Milo. As a mom I always felt very protective of him.
I’m confused as to who or how this can be. I don’t see a new marriage to a woman. The only news of a “wedding” is the one with a man who he refers to now as his “housemate.” Did he marry? Adopt?
@@erinmarie99 I’m assuming it is the son of his male partner (with whom he says he has a purely plutonic relationship although there has been a civil union) but I don’t know this for sure. It’s confusing. Did he marry or adopt? Don’t know. Milo is an enigma.
@@Mary-gg9mj Thank you! This now makes 100% sense. In the Catholic Church, the way for couples to get back “in a state of Grace” after mortal sin is by agreeing to live as brother and sister (in the case of divorced and remarried). He must be following the advice of his spiritual director! God bless him and his son! I did see an article where he says he still financially supports his partner. He is a living example of the “how!”
@@erinmarie99 You taught me something. I was raised Catholic. I was educated by the same order of nuns from grammar school, to middle and high school and to college. I got a Masters Degree from a Catholic University. If I learned this I had totally forgotten. If I never learned, thank you. It makes sense. When I met Milo in person, I didn’t get a gay vibe for whatever reason. It was strange.
@@Mary-gg9mj I’m so glad to hear this! I’ve been on about an 18 month journey of “finding the truth.” To save myself and my family members. It started with a miracle but continues with me going to daily mass and reading the Bible, Church History, the Council documents, etc…it’s become my life! I too spent 13 years in Catholic schools. I come from a Catholic family on both sides. No one is properly catechized. It goes to a much greater issue in the Church (far beyond this video or comment). The “gist” is that we now have 3-4 generations of Catholics who did not receive proper catechism instruction. It should be one of those Gen Z iceberg videos…in fact I think I’ve seen one at one point. Pretty much if you were catechized after the early to mid-60s…you probably didn’t get the fullness of the faith. 🙋♀️ - Gen Xr here taught in a Catholic school by ex-nuns living as lesbians…
In our era since the 60s and 70s society has hyper sexualized children. Children become like sympathetic to their abuser and even begin to question their role in what happened. As a child I did not know how damaging waking the sexual desires early would be. I still have trouble saying what happened was rape, molestation, or any other label because I knew what sex was but....I was groomed to accept it was a normal behavior or at the very least it wasn't totally wrong. I have had many lasting issues from it such as commitment issues or being able to select a healthy spouse. I hear many adults say....I blame the 14 year old because they knew what they were doing. The battle I have over this train of thinking vs knowing it is always the adults fault has been impossible to solidify. Now as I am active in my granddaughters lives and I see how tiny they are my heart breaks for the child in me. I dont know if my thinking of these relationship issues and my thinking about my trauma will ever stabilize but if anything ever happened to my granddaughters I think someone would disappear never to be seen again. There is way more then just damage from the sexual abuse to consider. The way a person will see life and function is now compromised. I have struggled to even discover myself and who I want to be. I am almost to old to care now but now is when I have finally found help
He is talking my language. I was in a situation at 17. I never felt like a victim. I just wasn't ever going to let this person control my emotions and life.
I’ve often heard LGBTQ people refer to young teens as being ‘mature’ with regards to having sex when in reality those teens needed their parents to make decisions for them and set down strict boundaries and expectations. Teens shouldn’t be having sex, they should only be focused on excelling at school and being a good family member.
I empathyze a lot with your expression towards his laughter Dr. Jordan B. Peterson; It's very noticeable how you professionally focus on the trauma and the patient doesnt seem to entirely realize how deep the conversation is
People have the right to blame, and in certain situations even hunt and kill, Milo just happens to be more resilient and mature than many, as well as an adolescent, it also only occurred once, a child can lay full blame and deserves justice
Wow!! It’s so great to hear Milo with this new level of maturity. He was already brilliantly witty and sharp as a tack, but he really has deepened his thinking. So excellent ❤
i read in some study that occasional abuse doesn't necessarily have the same effect as being repetitively abused. It turns my stomach to think of these matters in either case and I hope all perpetrators come to justice at some point
We do research in our university lab on trauma, so I'm sure this will be useful us. Your content encourages to improve our small channel we started not long ago.
Sexual abuse can come from anyone. Parents please have a talk with your teenage daughters when she starts babysitting in another home. The father of the children you babysit for can also be a predator grooming your innocent teenager.
I mean..... If anything isn't the primary point of this video the fact that both the boys and girls need to be made aware of the potential of abuse and what qualifies as abuse? Buh. I get your point, but it feels like another vital one was instantly missed.
@@rhondagriffith2159 actually they really should be broaching the topic of inappropriate sexual behavior long before a girl is old enough to babysit outside of the home! Remember that the vast majority of women are assaulted by a male in their own family or close friend/family of their parents. Basically all young girls need to have this information as soon as they can speak and then reviewed frequently throughout their childhood.
I've always enjoyed hearing Milo. He's a really entertaining guy and definitely bright. This was a great interview/talk. Milo is as sober as i've ever heard him.
I never turned on Milo during that backlash. It was an obvious hit job. I won't forget he was among the first to publicly resist the current regime of evil, using his gifts in the service of good.
Great interview, I would have to agree that the act of the sexual abuse wasn't the worst thing that happened in my multiple experiences but the lies, the shame, the manipulation and the threats of violence for speaking up about it and not having the physical capability to control what was happening and the repeated sleep disruptions had a cumulative effect and those things surrounding the actual act of the sexual abuse had much more damaging effects. Not to mention the emotional neglect that was present that created the environment for these things to occur. I could also totally relate to the experience of seeing just how incapable and vulnerable a child is, when I saw my friends daughter wasn't even capable of putting on her shoes, and her dad had to help her, seeing that size differential and her mental and physical capacities and she was a super smart kid who reminded me of myself, just totally shatter any illusions of that I had control or that what happened had been my fault. That was also conditioning that came from the abuser who would directly tell me that this was my fault and would make me give consent to alleviate his own guilt. It's the physiological mind games that the abusers play to create an environment that supports abuse to occur that really needs to be addressed because it is rampant and acceptable in so many areas in our society.
It’s also the “other parent” that is trying to PROTECT their identity and character and by acknowledging something happens in THEIR home to their child will DESTROY them! So they chose to allow the CHILD to be the sacrifice! I know all about THIS!
So true @Janette, being placed on my abusers lap by my mom after telling that he was touching me and I was making a big deal out of nothing, that he promises to never do that again. Then when my mom stepped away to use the bathroom, he whispered in my ear while grabbing me tightly, saying that if I ever told again, he would send me to meet my maker. Ya, that was definitely much more harmful to me than the sexual act.
Trauma doesnt always feel traumatic people. I felt no distress over my parents divorce but it effected my future choices and behaviour negatively as an adult
Being a target of sexual exploitation definitely gives Milo every right to claim victimhood status, but because he's so adamant about dismissing persistent whiners, he feels uneasy about placing himself in that same category, even if it's fully warranted. A lot of young boys who suffered similar misfortunes in their adolescence have made similar remarks about how it affected their sexual identities in adulthood.
I actually know where he is coming from.Not everyone feels victimized by teenage events and not everyone is traumatized. The psychiatry department has turned into the pharmaceutical industry, making up conditions to yreat for. Men have liked me all my life. And it isn't even SA at the same age that bothers me the most, it is the really out of line behavior. Male relatives making inappropriate remarks for example. Those are the worst power plays when even the inner circle doesn't protect you and you don't realize at first it is wrong. Or the husband of a relative acts inappropriately and you can't tell anyone without destroying the family or risking your own safety. Women think pretty privilege is an advantage but it is actually a finger minefield. The movie Malina covers this very well.
@@Nylon_riotjust because you don’t think you are traumatized does not mean that you were not. I have experienced much the same only I was actually groomed into a sexual relationship with my forty something year old ex brother in law at 12. It wasn’t until my daughter reached the same age that I realized that I had in fact been traumatized and victimized by his perverse and pedophilic actions. It was then that I realized that essentially all men are in fact pedophilicly attracted. Most do not act upon those feelings but apparently they all do feel them. It would be far better for our society if we acknowledged, discussed, and act on these unfortunate truths. Rather than denying reality it would be better to live in it.
I’ve been in “a place” since my daughter turned a certain age. We had tragedy right before her age change and I didn’t handle life well at all. (The tragedy - losing toxic people - was a blessing in disguise).This year has brought more triggers. I see my beautiful daughter at this age and I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking it was okay to prey on a girl her age. It’s been a wild ride for me.
The helpless horror that you experience as a child unable to face how deep of an emotional & psychological wound it creates when your vulnerability is taken advantage of. You might even on some level experience pleasure. & then one day you wake up & realize how much of your life you've spent avoiding this realization & the shame of not being able to stop it or have a choice. Or worse, to have on some level enjoyed a physical intimacy that was at the same time too invasive & overwhelming for your tender developmental stage. And the shame of wanting sexual gratification or physical intimacy in any way after that in a normal adult way is just soul destroying
I find it interesting how they mention that most people who experienced sexual abuse as children recover naturally with out external help. For me that’s not really the case, the CSA still gives me issues. However the threats of violence to stay silent did a hell of a lot more damage. What does more trauma for a child fear or shame…. I think it’s definitely fear.
I highly recommend prolonged exposure therapy. it’s very very difficult but it significantly has reduced the symptoms of cptsd and anxiety for me. God bless you on your healing journey. 🙏🏽
@@Poeina I just looked into what it was and realised it’s what I’ve been using to try and heal for a while. Having to go back consciously and relive the experiences, feel the full emotions to then integrate. Your right though it’s so hard, it’s terrifying honestly. Thanks for your kindness, god bless you too❤️
I agree. When I was raped as a child at 7, it devastated me. It caused me horrible anxiety and feeling of unworthiness. That being said, I also came from a home with a very cruel, abusive mother and a disengaged alcoholic father. So maybe that’s why it broke me so much. I felt even worse. I felt as though all I had been told about how terrible I am was true.
@@Kd_gg10 Hey, your not alone, I was 7 too when it started and my step father decided I looked more appealing to him than my mother, the sick fck. Yeah the self hatred and self esteem issues suck so much out of your life, it takes so much hard work I’m still recovering all these years later. But I’m really happy you said you doing better mate! Take care of yourself
It s amazing how it is that sometimes when you dont wanna play the victim card, and you see yourself arguing with people, you for your contribution to the problem, and they for your innocence. I think it is awful that happens. It happened to me, i didnt think it would. I thought that I will inspire them with my strong spine and willpower, but it turned out they didnt want to be inspired and found me irrational of not suffering more that they deemed necessary.
Im a drug and alcohol counsellor. High rate of sexual abuse in the client population. I’d say it affects people more than they are willing to admit. Just like addiction, there is a denial to oneself about the gravity of sexual abuse. Yes people say “it doesnt bother me” but their lives tell the tales that there is something serious going on inside that hasn’t been addressed.
I asked that since I never hear children talk that way, where does it come from? My coworker said its an affectation that comes from being part of that group, and wanting to he a part of that group. So if you adopted it, it makes sense you could discard it too.
@@Joseafrica Well, I wish he'd stop rolling his eyes. Is that an affectation? It must be. People don't walk around rolling their eyes when they're talking. It must be a habit. He should stop.
Damage caused by trauma can be reversed, but the fragments will always stick with you. There is a lot of shame around receiving traumatic wounds and speaking about it as a man, which makes things even harder to digest. It is all about understanding your own nature and the nature of the abuser, without living in a ''make a wish'' dreamworld. What does not kill you makes you stronger.
👉Former longtime Victim Advocate here, & am so proud of Milo for signing off on such disclosure of trauma, will make a profound difference in other men's lives! 👍🙏🕊️
The media, politicians and corporations work in concert to create a predictable consumer. Once I realized that, everything I see happening around me started to make a lot more sense.
What’s worse it’s what they’re putting in the commercials and the free channels that come with your TV. They play out all this sexual stuff all day long kids are exposed to way way too much. I can only put in DVDs when my grandkids are over. I can’t even trust the commercials, be careful out there. You guys what you’re watching and screen every single movie before you take your kids to go see it. And if your kids gonna go to someone’s house just to hang out with their friend, be careful of who else is in that house.
I’ve read those studies about the minimal long term effects of child sexual abuse. However the length of time the trauma goes on along with the circumstances make a huge difference in how the child is able to overcome the abusive relationship. In other words the longer the time the abuse takes place, the harder it is to overcome. I’m sure there are many other variables but that seemed at the time (at least to me) to be very important.
There is a profound reason that Jung, and, as an extension, Peterson, tells that every single one, when they grow up but not necessarily maturate, has an inner child within them; with this way of understanding that the younger self is spatially, chronologically, relationally and processively different from the current self, it helps to foster a relationship with different parts of us as if a father would have had with a child, that one must imitate how to be a father towards their inner child so to gain a more whole understanding of what the self, in its entirety, has been through.
omg. I suspect another reason is that it's so horrifying to face the genuine horror of the fact. My life has very very much been affected by this in the decisions I've made, the coping and defence mechanisms I've developed, the alarm systems that were missing from me, the deep distrust, the hopelessness and the recurring depression, anxiety and and suicidal tendencies, the self destructive behaviour, the constant running and running and running away from love and all the good in this world, the self hatred etc... In all that, I couldn't understand that it was supposed to be this horrific thing. It didn't make sense to me to attribute all of that to such a "small thing". But when he spoke about how he didn't recognise it himself until knowing someone of that age and putting it in context, and I could start putting it in context and the penny started dropping. And I slammed down on it immediately, because _that_ , truly is horrific. Which brings me to my original point, I did not want to face it because it is *that* bad. But now that I know, I can process and face it one bite at a time as much as I can bring myself to handle at a time.
So good to hear from milo always had a soft spot for him I understood what he was saying in 2017 I lost friends for supporting him .I felt he would evolve into this man in front of us .he's a good man I think says it as it is .thankyou dr peterson for this
Sexual abuse, like most things, is on a spectrum. Someone who was fondled by an uncle once is sure to have a better psychological out come than someone being raped by their biological father for the first decade of life.
@@adamhope8689 Sure but sometimes it's worth stating the obvious cuz some people seem to forget. For example, the people online who paint situations as binary when they are much more complex than that.
Reminds me of the stats that discuss how crazy number of women have been “se**ually assaulted” but then they include any unwanted touching as part of the numbers. Sure, some of that touching is probably worse than others, but such blanket statements/generalizations are so useless.
I'm glad to see Milo bring so healthy and handsome looking - before i lived Milo, but i couldn't see how handsome he was. His bless you Milo - I wish you all the best!!! 🌷🙏🧡
Nobody believed me when i told of the things he did to me, and after 40 years im still labeled as a liar. Ive spent those 40 years scared the rest of the world knowing what happened. #1Being a victim never got me a damn thing. #2 The only time anybody cares about "your/my" trauma, is when they are being paid to listen and make a commissions off the drugs they test on you. #3 Worst part of all this... I dont care about your victimization, just like you didnt care about mine.... 20 years ago i adjusted my way of thinking a little.. #1 " I have no sympathy for self infliction" #2 " Anything !! ", I ever had worth stealing has been taken. 40 years of hell and I really just dont care anymore. I expect 40 more of the same shit sandwich at every meal.
in order for sexual abuse to occur, there are so many wrongs must lead up to it. that's what's so terrifying. i was abused several times i can't even count. i have a son and i can only pray the Lord protects him preventatively
My Sexual trauma didn't ruin my life, but it was absolutely 100% traumatizing. I'm glad it wasn't the worst thing Milo went through... But others it is, but that doesn't mean it still has to ruin your life...And we really have to be careful..Cause this is the same aurgument pedo advocates will use..Well Sexual contact doesnt harm children as much as we think...so it should be allowed...I rather be very much Overly cautious at the harm it can do to children then downplay the harm that I can do to children
Although Milo talks more than he should listen, especially when talking to JBP, Milo actually has a lot of interesting insights. I'd like to listen to him speak more.
We want truth. We need hope. Denial gives us a false sense of hope. Lies give us a false sense of security. Happiness is found in learning to manage and accept all that we are faced with-good or bad. And joy is found in empowering ourselves and others to become the best version of ourself, sometimes in spite of what life and others have done to us. 😊
Parental neglect especially from a Father in an early age, damages their young children in levels unimaginable. Depends on how emotionally mature a child is, some truly become homosexual because of neglect. You can add abuse to that too. Like one of my childhood friends, he became gay when we were in High school because of the too much neglect and abuse that he got from his Father when we were still in Elementary. His dad broke his heart totally. He despise his own self especially manhood because of what he saw from his father. He always told me: I will not be like that when I grow up. Thats why he chose to be feminine. Abuse, neglect and toxic personality from parents plays a huge part on why there are so much homosexual in our time right now. In conclusion, the no.1 Reason of the rising numbers of homosexual is: FAILED PARENTHOOD.
When we look back on the type of people who used you in that way at that age, you realize 💯 you really weren't mature enough to understand it was abuse! And being able to give it to God frees us up to do better and call yourself a child of God, who loves you, no matter what .
It's probably inappropriate, but I often wonder about men who have been abused off other men as children who grow up to be gay. Would they have still been gay if it hadn't happened to them? When I was a girl growing up, there was a boy I knew who showed no gay tendencies at all until he was abused by a local low life, and he became gay. I'm just wondering and hoping it doesn't offend anyone.
@janettemartin4604 I watched it, I thought it was good. He was just as messed up as his stalker if not worse lol I've wondered a very long time about it. My minds always drawn back to my childhood friend. I've also known men who have been abused but who have became homophobic and angry at gays because they are fighting the gay tendencies they experience themselves and deny any such thing in themselves. If only the abusers truly knew and felt what they did to their victims. Maybes then they'd get a grip on their vile impulses.
I wonder a similar question myself. I’m a guy who was sexually abused when I was around 13 but it was by a male peer (which is actually rather common) and it was fairly mild abuse, which I stopped myself when he tried again on a second occasion. Nonetheless I believe it had an impact regarding my sexuality, possibly slightly speeding up my sexual development and I think making me not gay but attracted to some trans women. I’m by far primarily attracted to women but I also like feminine looking trans women and if they’re pre-op I also enjoy, to put it bluntly, sucking cock. Therefore I’m not straight but I’m not bisexual because I’m not attracted men or at least not people who look like men. I’m not just closeted or in denial because I don’t care about being bi and actually if given the choice I’d probably prefer it. Given that I’m so close to being straight but not, I do think I was influenced by what happened however my desires do feel totally natural and it’s only my understanding of psychology that makes me think it’s possibly linked to the abuse otherwise I’d definitely think I was born that way. Perhaps I’m just “reenacting my abuse to regain control” or something, kind of like how some rape victims become very promiscuous afterwards as way to cope and regain control but aside from the fact that I could be happy without sexual activity with trans women but not without biological women, I really don’t think I’m trying to cope in any way, the sexual urges feel pretty much the same as my regular sexual urges. I didn’t feel particularly bad about what happened to me (except for regretting not being aggressive enough the first time). Indeed I did seek therapy as an adult and it’s unlikely I was particularly harmed psychologically by the abuse, indeed the therapist helped me confirm that I don’t need to feel like I’m a damaged victim. In my case, which is apparently quite common, I was mainly just feeling bad about not feeling bad because I was expecting to be “damaged” because that’s the societal perception of all people who’ve experienced sexual abuse. Long story short, it’s my belief that sexual abuse probably doesn’t make people gay but it might be possible and if so it may depend on the age/stage of sexual development it happened at. However what I think is more likely is that it makes straight guys a little bent, hence my attraction to feminine trans women, which is actually surprisingly common amongst straight/“straight” men and probably lines up fairly well with the rates of male on male childhood sexual abuse.
I think attitudes at the time can change things. I have never seen myself as abused, because I consented to engage in the activity. Now, one might say "you cannot consent at 4; you were abused!" and I would agree. But I never felt it was the other boy's fault for doing what he did. There is no doubt he was a victim of someone else, so why would I blame him? Complexity indeed.
I would not call Milo untouched. He has been gay, right? I also had my experience and can verify that your brain does protect you and there is a type of amnesia that happens, however it has significantly effected me and caused me also to make horrible relationship choices. I am just going to point out that: sure you will bounce back, but it will effect you and choices you make that woll mold your life often in bad ways.
I thought the point of making sure it’s acknowledged as serious as it is, was all we had to stop monsters from becoming worse than they already are. The focus shouldn’t be on the victim surviving beautifully because many do not survive. The focus should be on whether there is a pattern of behavior displayed in the person who may need to be treated like the monster he is so that others who are vulnerable aren’t destroyed if that behavior develops into more harmful intentions.
Experience rendering this poor boy into a guilt-deflecting sociopath when he had no guilt. That's the way this grown man won on a crazy-making level. So apparent.
I've been homeless for 6 months, never have I been an addict or a drunk. I've had mental health issues in the past, but I'm homeless because I was laid off and lost my apartment. Being on the street has kicked my ass. No shelter beds available in my state, th cops still push us around. It's really screwing up my head.
I was sexually abused and I agree with everything that has been said. I never acknowledged in my mind or to anyone that I was a victim. In my mind it was my decision and i was 100% at fault. I do now acknowledge that I was a victim, but i was still guilty because I knew what I was doing was wrong and my conscience from God confirmed it.
8:32 that "You're not a parent, so you _don't understand."_ argument I've seen shot down a lot as a strawman, but it's honestly _so valid._ Because I've seen it in my own sister a lot of transgressive values she let slide in her childless adulthood, but the second she had kids of her own and put on that role of truly being a Parent, The same subject she had called our mom a 'bigot' over not approving of, she doesn't approve of now that SHE is a mom and fully thinks of the _development_ of that child _she is responsible for._ It's a weird thing to put one's ego aside and say "I wasn't _special._ I was just a kid. I shouldn't have been going through ANY of that." is a very hard pill to swallow since it's been normalized in your head and identity for your developmental years.
I have always liked Milo. I bought his book, long ago. He needs to be brought back, to a public space that is prominent. Forgive him. His early work in support of men's rights, was phenomenal. He could not be attacked by feminists because really, he "had no dog in the fight" against the excesses of feminism. We need him back, very much. He's not allowed to be a hero, which he is one. God bless the man, he suffered enough already.
I think this is a clip from a pre-pandemic full length interview. It was very interesting and good. I'm just wondering how Milo is doing today? Perhaps a follow up interview is in the near future?
Jordan's viewpoint and identity are complex trauma entirely predicated on being a victim of his father's authority and his mother's deprivation of connection. Jordan says "playing the victim" because Jordan did not develop self-awareness outside of playing a character in a story about a dependent boy trying to avoid being disliked by his father. (Rule 5)
I was sexually assaulted very early in life and while i can't really run the counterfactual, I'll never really know, i don't feel like it effected me all that much. Like when i recall the event, there's no dread and i don't get all choked up or anything. Which i guess always surprised me because as a youth i wasn't exactly resilient in any other respect.
Man this conversation feels like such a throwback to classic Milo, it’s so much easier for me to feel respect for him when he isn’t putting on the diva devil may care dgaf act he had recently adopted. It’s clear he has a genuine affinity and respect for Jordan by the class and respectful behavior he’s showing here. It simply makes him come across as so much more likable. It’s not that I can’t take his razor edged commentary, but I just can’t stand his holier than thou rhetoric he had developed over the past couple years.
No, i don't think they should say out there ' you'll probably be okay afterwards'. NO. This could ABSOLUTELY make parents less vigilant with their children. Lets face it some parents are not as deep thinking as others. And yes, it also depends on the survivor's mentality. Sometimes sexual abuse is along with neglect & more.... Biology even plays a part. The psyche of the child/then adult. Its much deeper. We should NEVER EVER play it down.
As a psychotherapist I was surprised to read a study years ago. It said that in terms of lasting effects on brain development, neglect was as toxic for boys as sexual abuse was for girls. In other words that girls have more resilience in the face of neglect and boys have more resilience in the face of abuse. But regarding resilience, it should be obvious that the resilience of a victim does not excuse the behavior of an abuser. The Lord rose from the dead, but that did not excuse Judas.
Beautifully articulated.
Any idea where I can read up on this?
It reminds me of how people have double standards when young boys or teens are victims of stat grape from attractive women how no one cares because they probably didn’t suffer
Thanks for sharing that
The consequences of sex for women has been far more dangerous which explains that difference.
It is a mistake to compare female sexuality to male sexuality.
For males sexuality is far less consequential.
Girls having more resilience post CSA?
How would they even measure that? And over what length of time?
Educational attainment isn’t a good measure because the books/work/learning process is a massive distraction from thinking of the trauma so that’s more a coping mechanism, not necessarily a sign of resilience.
How does the trauma not get reignited once she becomes a mother in adulthood, especially if she has daughters? Hyper-aware of the devils that lurk with an appetite of feeding on a child’s innocence.
I was molested by a priest when I was 14 and it wasn’t until was 55 that I realized how it had affected my entire life. I have been trying to resolve it for all my adult life. I didn’t talk about it or share about it - even when I tried to my parents wouldn’t believe me. I have finally forgiven but I still think it will take more work to get to the bottom of it. What happened happened. What I make of it now is up to me. I was vulnerable and I did tell him to stop after a while. He did. But this was a deep betrayal and something that needs to be addressed.
I am so sorry to hear this. I was abused as a child and it gave me lifelong PTSD which I am also trying to resolve and allow to roll away in the fullness of time. It took me 40 years to confide in a friend about some of these things for the first time. She happens to be a highly trained counsellor, and is helping me with this. So I want to ask you - have you tried Inner Child work? It is amazing. It will work with a man or a woman, your gender does not matter. I highly recommend it. Blessings to you and I hope you are able to heal at least in some measure from what happened to you.
Look up Tim Fletcher on youtube, he has some amazing presentations on complex trauma, right down to the actual physiological changes that take place in our body related to stress, abuse and neglect. Recognizing personal response patterns, unique to who you are and how your early life experiences formed you, can help. But dont stay bogged in the navel gazing period forever. I hope for peace, joy and contentment for you. My belief is that these things come from God, but look to Christ, not those few who failed to represent him. God will judge. “It would be better for a millstone to be hung around their neck, than to harm a child”, paraphrased but I think it pertains to this one application, as well as others.
I wonder about the benefits of forgiveness.
@@janniebee9501i agree and I imagine it’s a very personal decision and process for the individual
It's that you are saddled with the hate and not the abuser. Hating someone does necessary have any affect on them but it will occupy valuable real estate in your mind if you hold on to it.
We don’t seem to hear anything from Milo these days but he was THE big thing pre 2020. Now he seems to be yesterdays news.
I do believe that sexual abuse of men and boys is the one thing our society is not talking about seriously, and we should be. That’s the hill I’m dying on.
Like me, he has been doing it a long time, and he said what he wanted to say. He's red pilled millions of people, and so he's semi-retired and working behind the scenes.
He is not retired or yesterday´s news: he was savagely cancelled EVERYWHERE by the LGBT media
Milo turned full far-right. It's best if you didn't see what he turned into.
@@wakkablockablaw6025please try to realize most everyone does not belong in boxes with basic labels such as “far right and far left”.
America is the only country or was, who began using those terms:
It’s simply a means of divide and conquer.
@@wakkablockablaw6025Ideologically captured people aren't politically mature. It isn't even correct terminology. Leftist collectivism is leftist collectivism with state control. You can't be both pro and anti-establishment, that is oil and wayer. Just like liberals aren't left, we are center, and reduced calorie libertarian.
So busy labeling and othering people, that you can't even just discuss policy. You can tell social media separated people into echo chambers because people weren't obsessed with politics and ideology and party was just an afterthought.
I am a victim of sexual abuse back in my homeland Honduras 🇭🇳
I was raped 6 times, I scaped raped 5 times. The very first time I scaped raped I was 12 or so, the second time I scaped raped I was 15, at 17 years old I was raped. I never thought of myself to be a victim, I did not talk about it. Now, I am able to talk about it. Now, I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed or shy or scared or worried about it. Thank God that I have had never, never, ever allow all those horrible things get on my way. I have never ever in my life drink or smoked or do drugs. I did suffer from depression. Thank you for having Milo on. God bless you all. ❤❤❤
God bless you as well
Not trying to be disrespectful, but understand, what is “scape raped”? I noticed you used that term several times, but I don’t understand what you mean by that vs being raped. What is the difference between those terms?
@@melissakimbrough2900@ melissakimbrough2900 I think it is a misspelling of the word escape.
@@melissakimbrough2900escaped maybe
@@melissakimbrough2900I think he means escaped rape
Worked in child psych. All the boys who expressed homosexual or bisexual inclinations had been sexually abused by older teens or grown men. All of them. Not saying all gay men fall into that category, but that's the truth from that experience. And these boys themselves would often engage in grooming behavior towards the younger boys, something we constantly had to be vigilant about.
This has been my theory for decades…and Freddie Mercury being sent to boarding school in India at the young age of 8.😢
Uhm, given that you were in child psychology, you are going to be dealing with troubled kids, gay or otherwise..but at least you hold back a little from generalising.
@@scotlandtheinsane3359 It is absolutely true. Stunning amount of lgtbq kids were abused
@@Sobieskicharge
The fact that you use the lgbtq anacronym makes me suspicious..
Who are you exactly?
How do you know this?
It’s anecdotal, but I’ve only known a couple, and they both had troubled childhoods. Can’t speak to any sexual abuse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the rhetoric about it being a “community” of pariahs simply appeals to some children with unstable or insecure familial attachments.
Great see Milo again. And it’s great to see these two men conversing again. Hopefully we see more Milo, he has so much to offer.
This is old
This interview was from 5 years ago. It took me forever to find the full version.
So brave of Dr. Peterson having Milo. Milo raised the flag about how grooming causes a lot of homosexuality and he was cancelled EVERYWHERE
We need Milo back, even if it has to be in Rumble. He is smart and original.
If I remember correctly he wasn't really against grooming.
I was banned by Twitter shortly after Milo (Bitcoin and freedom related activist) and removed from Google- good chance this won't be posted by YT, and I can assure you the rejection was God's protection.
Also feels weird because Milo wrote a foreword to a book smearing and bashing JP
@@mattl8774yeah and he realized that was unpopular with the political faction propping him up, so he pivoted to “I only said that because that’s how I deal with the trauma”
up until that podcast he hadn't acknowledged that it was in fact a prey do.him as Trauma splatters in an existence in exacting ways
Some people are cognizant to clean it up, others are in denial
Milo! We love you regardless. Please take your place back. We need you. Most of us never doubted you anyway. Come back!!!
I have always had a lot of time for Milo. A fascinating character. I truly wish the absolute best for him going forward.
Tl;dr: highly intelligent people tend to talk over each other on a subject about which they have deep knowledge and/or experience.
They spoke over each other because both are highly intelligent and could “see” several steps into the idea that each was attempting to express.
I do the same thing to my wife, and have to put deliberate effort into not completing her thought out loud, even though it takes her several more sentences to get to the end of it, as I already “saw” where she was going to end. To be fair, she sometimes does the same to me, but it is mostly on my part.
Anytime you have two people with interest/experience in a similar field/activity, you will get this overlap as they intuit the gist of the idea from just the introduction of it.
This happens
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Mary Elizabeth Webb
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
Wow that's nice She makes you that much!! please is there a way to reach her services, I work 3 jobs and trying to pay off my debts for a while now!! Please help me.
Righteous anger … deserves its place .. being victimised but also being a survivor and using the truama to help you help others..
The thing that cannot be mentioned is that "grooming" is extensive and CAUSES a lot of homosexuality in young teens who are victims of it, even if willingly or for money. And the whole LGBT activists know it.
Pedophilia does not cause homosexuality. People are born to BE homosexuals or bisexuals or heterosexuals. But I don't believe they are born to be pedophiles.
Yeah, a gay friend confessed to me he started doing it because he was molested. Nowadays he's an escort for older men and keeps reliving his trauma. The friend circle kicked me out for being stern with him on not becoming a prostitute, the rest defended it with the sex work is work bullshit
@@mcorte2224 To say that someone is gay because that person was molested ... wouldn't be any different than saying that someone is heterosexual or bisexual because that person was molested.
I believe that people are born to be heterosexual ... or homosexual ... or bisexual.
Promiscuity can be the behavior pattern ... whether a person is heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
@@junevandermark952 why do you believe people are born gay? It seems like most psychological and emotional traits are a mix of both nature and nurture. Why would sexuality be the exception?
@@junevandermark952 I'm gay and was not molested. I remember my evangelical Christian parents (who were honestly wonderful people) could not understand that I was not molested, they kept asking about this situation or that situation in which no molestation took place, then suggested I must not remember it. As I said they were good people (deceased now), but just didn't get it.
It’s heartwarming that Milo loves and is protective of his stepson. That relationship has opened up a whole new depth of understanding to him. Having a child changes everything! That’s a good thing. I’ve always loved Milo. As a mom I always felt very protective of him.
I’m confused as to who or how this can be. I don’t see a new marriage to a woman. The only news of a “wedding” is the one with a man who he refers to now as his “housemate.” Did he marry? Adopt?
@@erinmarie99 I’m assuming it is the son of his male partner (with whom he says he has a purely plutonic relationship although there has been a civil union) but I don’t know this for sure. It’s confusing. Did he marry or adopt? Don’t know. Milo is an enigma.
@@Mary-gg9mj Thank you! This now makes 100% sense. In the Catholic Church, the way for couples to get back “in a state of Grace” after mortal sin is by agreeing to live as brother and sister (in the case of divorced and remarried). He must be following the advice of his spiritual director! God bless him and his son! I did see an article where he says he still financially supports his partner. He is a living example of the “how!”
@@erinmarie99 You taught me something. I was raised Catholic. I was educated by the same order of nuns from grammar school, to middle and high school and to college. I got a Masters Degree from a Catholic University. If I learned this I had totally forgotten. If I never learned, thank you. It makes sense. When I met Milo in person, I didn’t get a gay vibe for whatever reason. It was strange.
@@Mary-gg9mj I’m so glad to hear this! I’ve been on about an 18 month journey of “finding the truth.” To save myself and my family members. It started with a miracle but continues with me going to daily mass and reading the Bible, Church History, the Council documents, etc…it’s become my life! I too spent 13 years in Catholic schools. I come from a Catholic family on both sides. No one is properly catechized. It goes to a much greater issue in the Church (far beyond this video or comment). The “gist” is that we now have 3-4 generations of Catholics who did not receive proper catechism instruction. It should be one of those Gen Z iceberg videos…in fact I think I’ve seen one at one point. Pretty much if you were catechized after the early to mid-60s…you probably didn’t get the fullness of the faith. 🙋♀️ - Gen Xr here taught in a Catholic school by ex-nuns living as lesbians…
In our era since the 60s and 70s society has hyper sexualized children. Children become like sympathetic to their abuser and even begin to question their role in what happened. As a child I did not know how damaging waking the sexual desires early would be. I still have trouble saying what happened was rape, molestation, or any other label because I knew what sex was but....I was groomed to accept it was a normal behavior or at the very least it wasn't totally wrong. I have had many lasting issues from it such as commitment issues or being able to select a healthy spouse. I hear many adults say....I blame the 14 year old because they knew what they were doing. The battle I have over this train of thinking vs knowing it is always the adults fault has been impossible to solidify. Now as I am active in my granddaughters lives and I see how tiny they are my heart breaks for the child in me. I dont know if my thinking of these relationship issues and my thinking about my trauma will ever stabilize but if anything ever happened to my granddaughters I think someone would disappear never to be seen again. There is way more then just damage from the sexual abuse to consider. The way a person will see life and function is now compromised. I have struggled to even discover myself and who I want to be. I am almost to old to care now but now is when I have finally found help
He is talking my language. I was in a situation at 17. I never felt like a victim. I just wasn't ever going to let this person control my emotions and life.
I’ve often heard LGBTQ people refer to young teens as being ‘mature’ with regards to having sex when in reality those teens needed their parents to make decisions for them and set down strict boundaries and expectations. Teens shouldn’t be having sex, they should only be focused on excelling at school and being a good family member.
I empathyze a lot with your expression towards his laughter Dr. Jordan B. Peterson; It's very noticeable how you professionally focus on the trauma and the patient doesnt seem to entirely realize how deep the conversation is
Would be fantastic to have back milo in a conversation with jp about his turn towards catholicism.
Talking about it is essential, not to blame but to heal. So that you don't become a victim.
People have the right to blame, and in certain situations even hunt and kill, Milo just happens to be more resilient and mature than many, as well as an adolescent, it also only occurred once, a child can lay full blame and deserves justice
Repeat victims can absolutely lay blame, even he could if he wants but chooses to brush it off
@Themaindiscourse You end up carrying it if you dont forgive. You never forget, but you learn to manage it.
@@ClancyKeegan-f4v if you seek justice you won’t carry it, you’re not the lord and saviour you don’t have to forgive
I really like this new Milo.
Thank you Dr. Peterson for seeing his potential
I don't think it is new. Both he and JBP look younger here.
This is from five years ago.
As time goes on I'd say we see more & more of the real Milo, please God.
Wow!! It’s so great to hear Milo with this new level of maturity. He was already brilliantly witty and sharp as a tack, but he really has deepened his thinking. So excellent ❤
i read in some study that occasional abuse doesn't necessarily have the same effect as being repetitively abused. It turns my stomach to think of these matters in either case and I hope all perpetrators come to justice at some point
We do research in our university lab on trauma, so I'm sure this will be useful us. Your content encourages to improve our small channel we started not long ago.
How can I contact you
I’ve been praying so much for Milo. I hope God remains close to Him and continues to grow him into the wonderful person God created him to be.
Sexual abuse can come from anyone. Parents please have a talk with your teenage daughters when she starts babysitting in another home. The father of the children you babysit for can also be a predator grooming your innocent teenager.
Almost always are… middle aged men are the absolute worst.
And sometimes the babysitter fiddles their charges.
Boys are sexually abused as well. Not just girls
I mean..... If anything isn't the primary point of this video the fact that both the boys and girls need to be made aware of the potential of abuse and what qualifies as abuse?
Buh. I get your point, but it feels like another vital one was instantly missed.
@@rhondagriffith2159 actually they really should be broaching the topic of inappropriate sexual behavior long before a girl is old enough to babysit outside of the home! Remember that the vast majority of women are assaulted by a male in their own family or close friend/family of their parents. Basically all young girls need to have this information as soon as they can speak and then reviewed frequently throughout their childhood.
I've always enjoyed hearing Milo. He's a really entertaining guy and definitely bright.
This was a great interview/talk. Milo is as sober as i've ever heard him.
I never turned on Milo during that backlash. It was an obvious hit job. I won't forget he was among the first to publicly resist the current regime of evil, using his gifts in the service of good.
Agree 100%!! He was great and just when he was going on CPAC as a speaker, he got smeared by leftists who were and are scared of gay conservatives.
@@paryanindoeur he didn't believe half the shit he was pushing. Whatever got a larger reaction he leaned into. He's fake af.
Great interview, I would have to agree that the act of the sexual abuse wasn't the worst thing that happened in my multiple experiences but the lies, the shame, the manipulation and the threats of violence for speaking up about it and not having the physical capability to control what was happening and the repeated sleep disruptions had a cumulative effect and those things surrounding the actual act of the sexual abuse had much more damaging effects. Not to mention the emotional neglect that was present that created the environment for these things to occur. I could also totally relate to the experience of seeing just how incapable and vulnerable a child is, when I saw my friends daughter wasn't even capable of putting on her shoes, and her dad had to help her, seeing that size differential and her mental and physical capacities and she was a super smart kid who reminded me of myself, just totally shatter any illusions of that I had control or that what happened had been my fault. That was also conditioning that came from the abuser who would directly tell me that this was my fault and would make me give consent to alleviate his own guilt. It's the physiological mind games that the abusers play to create an environment that supports abuse to occur that really needs to be addressed because it is rampant and acceptable in so many areas in our society.
It’s also the “other parent” that is trying to PROTECT their identity and character and by acknowledging something happens in THEIR home to their child will DESTROY them! So they chose to allow the CHILD to be the sacrifice! I know all about THIS!
So true @Janette, being placed on my abusers lap by my mom after telling that he was touching me and I was making a big deal out of nothing, that he promises to never do that again. Then when my mom stepped away to use the bathroom, he whispered in my ear while grabbing me tightly, saying that if I ever told again, he would send me to meet my maker. Ya, that was definitely much more harmful to me than the sexual act.
Trauma doesnt always feel traumatic people. I felt no distress over my parents divorce but it effected my future choices and behaviour negatively as an adult
Oh, my. I am in the same place.
The brain will numb this kind of stuff. It is a protective mechanism that is designed to help preserve functioning and prevent (No joke) seizures.
Being a target of sexual exploitation definitely gives Milo every right to claim victimhood status, but because he's so adamant about dismissing persistent whiners, he feels uneasy about placing himself in that same category, even if it's fully warranted. A lot of young boys who suffered similar misfortunes in their adolescence have made similar remarks about how it affected their sexual identities in adulthood.
I actually know where he is coming from.Not everyone feels victimized by teenage events and not everyone is traumatized. The psychiatry department has turned into the pharmaceutical industry, making up conditions to yreat for. Men have liked me all my life. And it isn't even SA at the same age that bothers me the most, it is the really out of line behavior. Male relatives making inappropriate remarks for example. Those are the worst power plays when even the inner circle doesn't protect you and you don't realize at first it is wrong. Or the husband of a relative acts inappropriately and you can't tell anyone without destroying the family or risking your own safety.
Women think pretty privilege is an advantage but it is actually a finger minefield. The movie Malina covers this very well.
@@Nylon_riotjust because you don’t think you are traumatized does not mean that you were not. I have experienced much the same only I was actually groomed into a sexual relationship with my forty something year old ex brother in law at 12. It wasn’t until my daughter reached the same age that I realized that I had in fact been traumatized and victimized by his perverse and pedophilic actions. It was then that I realized that essentially all men are in fact pedophilicly attracted. Most do not act upon those feelings but apparently they all do feel them. It would be far better for our society if we acknowledged, discussed, and act on these unfortunate truths. Rather than denying reality it would be better to live in it.
I’ve been in “a place” since my daughter turned a certain age. We had tragedy right before her age change and I didn’t handle life well at all. (The tragedy - losing toxic people - was a blessing in disguise).This year has brought more triggers. I see my beautiful daughter at this age and I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking it was okay to prey on a girl her age. It’s been a wild ride for me.
The helpless horror that you experience as a child unable to face how deep of an emotional & psychological wound it creates when your vulnerability is taken advantage of. You might even on some level experience pleasure. & then one day you wake up & realize how much of your life you've spent avoiding this realization & the shame of not being able to stop it or have a choice. Or worse, to have on some level enjoyed a physical intimacy that was at the same time too invasive & overwhelming for your tender developmental stage. And the shame of wanting sexual gratification or physical intimacy in any way after that in a normal adult way is just soul destroying
I find it interesting how they mention that most people who experienced sexual abuse as children recover naturally with out external help.
For me that’s not really the case, the CSA still gives me issues. However the threats of violence to stay silent did a hell of a lot more damage. What does more trauma for a child fear or shame…. I think it’s definitely fear.
I highly recommend prolonged exposure therapy. it’s very very difficult but it significantly has reduced the symptoms of cptsd and anxiety for me. God bless you on your healing journey. 🙏🏽
@@Poeina I just looked into what it was and realised it’s what I’ve been using to try and heal for a while. Having to go back consciously and relive the experiences, feel the full emotions to then integrate. Your right though it’s so hard, it’s terrifying honestly.
Thanks for your kindness, god bless you too❤️
I agree. When I was raped as a child at 7, it devastated me. It caused me horrible anxiety and feeling of unworthiness. That being said, I also came from a home with a very cruel, abusive mother and a disengaged alcoholic father. So maybe that’s why it broke me so much. I felt even worse. I felt as though all I had been told about how terrible I am was true.
I am better now, I’ve done years and years of therapy and have been able to move on with my life. But when I think back to it, it still hurts.
@@Kd_gg10 Hey, your not alone, I was 7 too when it started and my step father decided I looked more appealing to him than my mother, the sick fck. Yeah the self hatred and self esteem issues suck so much out of your life, it takes so much hard work I’m still recovering all these years later. But I’m really happy you said you doing better mate! Take care of yourself
It s amazing how it is that sometimes when you dont wanna play the victim card, and you see yourself arguing with people, you for your contribution to the problem, and they for your innocence. I think it is awful that happens. It happened to me, i didnt think it would. I thought that I will inspire them with my strong spine and willpower, but it turned out they didnt want to be inspired and found me irrational of not suffering more that they deemed necessary.
Im a drug and alcohol counsellor. High rate of sexual abuse in the client population. I’d say it affects people more than they are willing to admit. Just like addiction, there is a denial to oneself about the gravity of sexual abuse. Yes people say “it doesnt bother me” but their lives tell the tales that there is something serious going on inside that hasn’t been addressed.
Amazing how Milo's voice has lost its feminine "gayness" since he's left that lifestyle. He sounds more masculine.
Check out those ghastly chompers. He can barely work around those veneers.
Thats what happens when you get confused like that when ur little.
I asked that since I never hear children talk that way, where does it come from?
My coworker said its an affectation that comes from being part of that group, and wanting to he a part of that group. So if you adopted it, it makes sense you could discard it too.
@@bunberrierit's entirely learned, just like vocal fry. Nothing natural about either one.
@serenitypeaceandcomfort3669 You do know that this interview was recorded April 11, 2019, right?
Milo is underrated. Troubled for sure, but such a complex and interesting guy.
He is a superstar
Well, you *should* be troubled in a sick and twisted world.
@@Joseafrica Well, I wish he'd stop rolling his eyes. Is that an affectation? It must be. People don't walk around rolling their eyes when they're talking. It must be a habit. He should stop.
Damage caused by trauma can be reversed, but the fragments will always stick with you. There is a lot of shame around receiving traumatic wounds and speaking about it as a man, which makes things even harder to digest.
It is all about understanding your own nature and the nature of the abuser, without living in a ''make a wish'' dreamworld. What does not kill you makes you stronger.
👉Former longtime Victim Advocate here, & am so proud of Milo for signing off on such disclosure of trauma, will make a profound difference in other men's lives! 👍🙏🕊️
The media, politicians and corporations work in concert to create a predictable consumer. Once I realized that, everything I see happening around me started to make a lot more sense.
What’s worse it’s what they’re putting in the commercials and the free channels that come with your TV. They play out all this sexual stuff all day long kids are exposed to way way too much. I can only put in DVDs when my grandkids are over. I can’t even trust the commercials, be careful out there. You guys what you’re watching and screen every single movie before you take your kids to go see it. And if your kids gonna go to someone’s house just to hang out with their friend, be careful of who else is in that house.
I’ve read those studies about the minimal long term effects of child sexual abuse. However the length of time the trauma goes on along with the circumstances make a huge difference in how the child is able to overcome the abusive relationship. In other words the longer the time the abuse takes place, the harder it is to overcome. I’m sure there are many other variables but that seemed at the time (at least to me) to be very important.
There is a profound reason that Jung, and, as an extension, Peterson, tells that every single one, when they grow up but not necessarily maturate, has an inner child within them; with this way of understanding that the younger self is spatially, chronologically, relationally and processively different from the current self, it helps to foster a relationship with different parts of us as if a father would have had with a child, that one must imitate how to be a father towards their inner child so to gain a more whole understanding of what the self, in its entirety, has been through.
omg. I suspect another reason is that it's so horrifying to face the genuine horror of the fact. My life has very very much been affected by this in the decisions I've made, the coping and defence mechanisms I've developed, the alarm systems that were missing from me, the deep distrust, the hopelessness and the recurring depression, anxiety and and suicidal tendencies, the self destructive behaviour, the constant running and running and running away from love and all the good in this world, the self hatred etc... In all that, I couldn't understand that it was supposed to be this horrific thing. It didn't make sense to me to attribute all of that to such a "small thing". But when he spoke about how he didn't recognise it himself until knowing someone of that age and putting it in context, and I could start putting it in context and the penny started dropping. And I slammed down on it immediately, because _that_ , truly is horrific. Which brings me to my original point, I did not want to face it because it is *that* bad. But now that I know, I can process and face it one bite at a time as much as I can bring myself to handle at a time.
So good to hear from milo always had a soft spot for him I understood what he was saying in 2017 I lost friends for supporting him .I felt he would evolve into this man in front of us .he's a good man I think says it as it is .thankyou dr peterson for this
Sexual abuse, like most things, is on a spectrum. Someone who was fondled by an uncle once is sure to have a better psychological out come than someone being raped by their biological father for the first decade of life.
Pooty tang award for stating the obvious
@@adamhope8689 Sure but sometimes it's worth stating the obvious cuz some people seem to forget. For example, the people online who paint situations as binary when they are much more complex than that.
Reminds me of the stats that discuss how crazy number of women have been “se**ually assaulted” but then they include any unwanted touching as part of the numbers. Sure, some of that touching is probably worse than others, but such blanket statements/generalizations are so useless.
Not only uncles or fathers, aunts and mothers sexually abuse as well. We have to mention women do these kind of things too, and not little precisely.
Doubt
I'm glad to see Milo bring so healthy and handsome looking - before i lived Milo, but i couldn't see how handsome he was. His bless you Milo - I wish you all the best!!! 🌷🙏🧡
I have missed Milo SO MUCH! So pleased to see him again. Please come back!
Nobody believed me when i told of the things he did to me, and after 40 years im still labeled as a liar. Ive spent those 40 years scared the rest of the world knowing what happened.
#1Being a victim never got me a damn thing.
#2 The only time anybody cares about "your/my" trauma, is when they are being paid to listen and make a commissions off the drugs they test on you.
#3 Worst part of all this... I dont care about your victimization, just like you didnt care about mine....
20 years ago i adjusted my way of thinking a little..
#1 " I have no sympathy for self infliction"
#2 " Anything !! ", I ever had worth stealing has been taken.
40 years of hell and I really just dont care anymore. I expect 40 more of the same shit sandwich at every meal.
in order for sexual abuse to occur, there are so many wrongs must lead up to it. that's what's so terrifying. i was abused several times i can't even count. i have a son and i can only pray the Lord protects him preventatively
My Sexual trauma didn't ruin my life, but it was absolutely 100% traumatizing. I'm glad it wasn't the worst thing Milo went through... But others it is, but that doesn't mean it still has to ruin your life...And we really have to be careful..Cause this is the same aurgument pedo advocates will use..Well Sexual contact doesnt harm children as much as we think...so it should be allowed...I rather be very much Overly cautious at the harm it can do to children then downplay the harm that I can do to children
14 year olds don’t know what they are doing and what’s happening to them. One reason why they are targeted by predators.
The 14 year olds of today absolutely do know what’s happening today. Are you living under a rock?
He looks like my nephew, who we just lost.
One day, it will surface.
Although Milo talks more than he should listen, especially when talking to JBP, Milo actually has a lot of interesting insights. I'd like to listen to him speak more.
We want truth. We need hope. Denial gives us a false sense of hope. Lies give us a false sense of security. Happiness is found in learning to manage and accept all that we are faced with-good or bad. And joy is found in empowering ourselves and others to become the best version of ourself, sometimes in spite of what life and others have done to us. 😊
'....squaking victomhood....' Too perfect. Thank you!
Thank you for posting this.
Milo is a great man. A great role model. Great to see him. I hope he can be more in the public eye.
Parental neglect especially from a Father in an early age, damages their young children in levels unimaginable. Depends on how emotionally mature a child is, some truly become homosexual because of neglect. You can add abuse to that too. Like one of my childhood friends, he became gay when we were in High school because of the too much neglect and abuse that he got from his Father when we were still in Elementary. His dad broke his heart totally. He despise his own self especially manhood because of what he saw from his father. He always told me: I will not be like that when I grow up. Thats why he chose to be feminine. Abuse, neglect and toxic personality from parents plays a huge part on why there are so much homosexual in our time right now. In conclusion, the no.1 Reason of the rising numbers of homosexual is: FAILED PARENTHOOD.
That guy is so real I love it
When we look back on the type of people who used you in that way at that age, you realize 💯 you really weren't mature enough to understand it was abuse! And being able to give it to God frees us up to do better and call yourself a child of God, who loves you, no matter what .
It's probably inappropriate, but I often wonder about men who have been abused off other men as children who grow up to be gay. Would they have still been gay if it hadn't happened to them?
When I was a girl growing up, there was a boy I knew who showed no gay tendencies at all until he was abused by a local low life, and he became gay.
I'm just wondering and hoping it doesn't offend anyone.
Watch “Baby Reindeer”! He opens a door into that conversation a bit!
@janettemartin4604 I watched it, I thought it was good. He was just as messed up as his stalker if not worse lol
I've wondered a very long time about it. My minds always drawn back to my childhood friend. I've also known men who have been abused but who have became homophobic and angry at gays because they are fighting the gay tendencies they experience themselves and deny any such thing in themselves.
If only the abusers truly knew and felt what they did to their victims. Maybes then they'd get a grip on their vile impulses.
My understanding is.. you can’t ‘make’ someone gay… like you can’t be half pregnant… you either are or you’re not…
I wonder a similar question myself. I’m a guy who was sexually abused when I was around 13 but it was by a male peer (which is actually rather common) and it was fairly mild abuse, which I stopped myself when he tried again on a second occasion. Nonetheless I believe it had an impact regarding my sexuality, possibly slightly speeding up my sexual development and I think making me not gay but attracted to some trans women.
I’m by far primarily attracted to women but I also like feminine looking trans women and if they’re pre-op I also enjoy, to put it bluntly, sucking cock. Therefore I’m not straight but I’m not bisexual because I’m not attracted men or at least not people who look like men. I’m not just closeted or in denial because I don’t care about being bi and actually if given the choice I’d probably prefer it.
Given that I’m so close to being straight but not, I do think I was influenced by what happened however my desires do feel totally natural and it’s only my understanding of psychology that makes me think it’s possibly linked to the abuse otherwise I’d definitely think I was born that way.
Perhaps I’m just “reenacting my abuse to regain control” or something, kind of like how some rape victims become very promiscuous afterwards as way to cope and regain control but aside from the fact that I could be happy without sexual activity with trans women but not without biological women, I really don’t think I’m trying to cope in any way, the sexual urges feel pretty much the same as my regular sexual urges.
I didn’t feel particularly bad about what happened to me (except for regretting not being aggressive enough the first time). Indeed I did seek therapy as an adult and it’s unlikely I was particularly harmed psychologically by the abuse, indeed the therapist helped me confirm that I don’t need to feel like I’m a damaged victim. In my case, which is apparently quite common, I was mainly just feeling bad about not feeling bad because I was expecting to be “damaged” because that’s the societal perception of all people who’ve experienced sexual abuse.
Long story short, it’s my belief that sexual abuse probably doesn’t make people gay but it might be possible and if so it may depend on the age/stage of sexual development it happened at. However what I think is more likely is that it makes straight guys a little bent, hence my attraction to feminine trans women, which is actually surprisingly common amongst straight/“straight” men and probably lines up fairly well with the rates of male on male childhood sexual abuse.
@@ruthforbes4038 proof is in the pudding
I think attitudes at the time can change things. I have never seen myself as abused, because I consented to engage in the activity. Now, one might say "you cannot consent at 4; you were abused!" and I would agree. But I never felt it was the other boy's fault for doing what he did. There is no doubt he was a victim of someone else, so why would I blame him?
Complexity indeed.
So glad to see Milo, hope to see him ,pre often, send you blessings dear!
Interesting. When I heard his account, I understood it. I’m glad he’s had some emergence in cognition about it.
Great conversation. Jordan is so good at this! A real gift from God 🙏
Please have him on again!
I still hope for Milo’s return in 2024! He was a savage back in 2016
Very complex how we can deal with trauma in so many different ways. Well done. Good conversation. Thankyou for sharing. I can relate.
I would not call Milo untouched. He has been gay, right?
I also had my experience and can verify that your brain does protect you and there is a type of amnesia that happens, however it has significantly effected me and caused me also to make horrible relationship choices.
I am just going to point out that: sure you will bounce back, but it will effect you and choices you make that woll mold your life often in bad ways.
brilliant way to defy censorship by not naming the person in the video anywhere in the title or information.
I thought the point of making sure it’s acknowledged as serious as it is, was all we had to stop monsters from becoming worse than they already are. The focus shouldn’t be on the victim surviving beautifully because many do not survive. The focus should be on whether there is a pattern of behavior displayed in the person who may need to be treated like the monster he is so that others who are vulnerable aren’t destroyed if that behavior develops into more harmful intentions.
I hope Milo is well and I wish him all the best ❤
Experience rendering this poor boy into a guilt-deflecting sociopath when he had no guilt. That's the way this grown man won on a crazy-making level. So apparent.
I've been homeless for 6 months, never have I been an addict or a drunk. I've had mental health issues in the past, but I'm homeless because I was laid off and lost my apartment.
Being on the street has kicked my ass. No shelter beds available in my state, th cops still push us around. It's really screwing up my head.
I was sexually abused and I agree with everything that has been said. I never acknowledged in my mind or to anyone that I was a victim. In my mind it was my decision and i was 100% at fault.
I do now acknowledge that I was a victim, but i was still guilty because I knew what I was doing was wrong and my conscience from God confirmed it.
8:32 that "You're not a parent, so you _don't understand."_ argument I've seen shot down a lot as a strawman, but it's honestly _so valid._ Because I've seen it in my own sister a lot of transgressive values she let slide in her childless adulthood, but the second she had kids of her own and put on that role of truly being a Parent, The same subject she had called our mom a 'bigot' over not approving of, she doesn't approve of now that SHE is a mom and fully thinks of the _development_ of that child _she is responsible for._
It's a weird thing to put one's ego aside and say "I wasn't _special._ I was just a kid. I shouldn't have been going through ANY of that." is a very hard pill to swallow since it's been normalized in your head and identity for your developmental years.
Children cannot consent. That is fundamental for maintaining society and keeping anarchy at bay.
He will get more and more awareness as he ages.
I’ve missed Milo, great to see you back, wishing you peace in your life 💜
The curse of a wounded parent. 8:06
I've interviewed Milo for tv in the UK!
Nice 😮
Oh ok. Thanks for letting us know how fragile your ego is.
Congratulations- did you sleep with him afterwards?
@@wilyinfidel1091 no. I'm a woman
@@zanetacomacho1521well, last I knew he claims to be "in recovery, and working on being straight." Do you believe that he is straight now?
I remember being floored when he said, "he seduced the priest" and I thought, oh NO you did not.
There is a book called happiness is a choice and it is excellent. It talks about being a victim during the event versus remaining a victim by choice.
I have always liked Milo. I bought his book, long ago. He needs to be brought back, to a public space that is prominent. Forgive him. His early work in support of men's rights, was phenomenal. He could not be attacked by feminists because really, he "had no dog in the fight" against the excesses of feminism. We need him back, very much. He's not allowed to be a hero, which he is one. God bless the man, he suffered enough already.
I had a different set of abuse as a child. Didn't even realise it was what it was until I was in my mid 20s.
I think this is a clip from a pre-pandemic full length interview. It was very interesting and good. I'm just wondering how Milo is doing today? Perhaps a follow up interview is in the near future?
I don't think it's fair to say that child victims of sexual assault are totally ok... I think most of them are pretty messed up by it.
Jordan's viewpoint and identity are complex trauma entirely predicated on being a victim of his father's authority and his mother's deprivation of connection.
Jordan says "playing the victim" because Jordan did not develop self-awareness outside of playing a character in a story about a dependent boy trying to avoid being disliked by his father. (Rule 5)
This is the Milo I always needed ❤
Nice to see Milo again!
Milo is helping people heal. Bless you Jordan Peterson, a true hero ❤
I was sexually assaulted very early in life and while i can't really run the counterfactual, I'll never really know, i don't feel like it effected me all that much. Like when i recall the event, there's no dread and i don't get all choked up or anything. Which i guess always surprised me because as a youth i wasn't exactly resilient in any other respect.
Miss Milo…! Such a Great Guy…!!! ❤❤❤
Good for u dealing with your stuff love u brother
Man this conversation feels like such a throwback to classic Milo, it’s so much easier for me to feel respect for him when he isn’t putting on the diva devil may care dgaf act he had recently adopted. It’s clear he has a genuine affinity and respect for Jordan by the class and respectful behavior he’s showing here. It simply makes him come across as so much more likable. It’s not that I can’t take his razor edged commentary, but I just can’t stand his holier than thou rhetoric he had developed over the past couple years.
The hope this gives to victims of CSA is really refreshing and untypical for our malevolent culture
No, i don't think they should say out there ' you'll probably be okay afterwards'. NO. This could ABSOLUTELY make parents less vigilant with their children. Lets face it some parents are not as deep thinking as others. And yes, it also depends on the survivor's mentality. Sometimes sexual abuse is along with neglect & more.... Biology even plays a part. The psyche of the child/then adult. Its much deeper. We should NEVER EVER play it down.
It’s a good drop given the “month” we’re in. The truth will out. Male Lolita syndrome…
Great to see you Milo you are a brilliant mind