Oh same, same, same. I know the truth of why I am the way that I am, so I'm totally okay with people thinking wrongly about me. That's their problem, aaaand also mine, lol. I'm here learning how to reduce the anger, worry, irritation, sadness, fear and all of that jazz. I've got some inner healing to do. I know I'm already perfect as is, but I do wanna do it for myself anyway. I want my peace back, the very same peace I had before some of the really devasting traumas happened. I'm ready to learn, love, heal, forgive, forget, let go, grow and ascend!
I see depression as helplessness that arose after the world hurt you, you tried to defend yourself and cope, and you were unable to. I think more than anything, more than any theory of depression I can learn, I just want a hug in my darkest moments. A little compassion for the wounded part of me that was taught that I was powerless. After all I've been through, of course I'm depressed. It'd be much weirder if I wasn't. Please, just see me, offer me compassion, hugs, love, for the pain I have felt, not pills or pathology.
Yeah they say talk to your doctor...mine asked if I want drugs...no compassion or like it sounds like you are having a hard time...nope, do you want drugs? Then I finally reached out to a Crisis Center, it's been 2 months, no therapist. My Care Coordinator...sighs, I actually give HIM information. I agree, though, I just want someone to actually give a damn, hug, listen. I think depression is definitely where you try and try to deal with something and get hurt and it seems like no one cares, no one is in your corner. So I agree with everything you are saying.
The fact that you can work that out and understand it, is surely a really positive thing - even though it still hurts. I sometimes feel like the only people who really understand me are not here any more... (they died) and some people who think they understand me (because they have known me ages) don't at all. So I have this sense of frustration and disappointment - it is managing that that is sometimes exhausting. I have other friends and relatives who are great.
Internalizing can also be “brushing it off” or “suck it up” or “it’s not that bad” and when you avoid those feelings long enough it builds and explodes in anger.
YES. Never heard and only just invalidated because people see negative emotion as weak, when it’s really that you’ve tried to be too strong for too long.
There’s “brushing it off” and “sucking it up” which invalidates but also there’s the demand to remain mindful of your externalizing behaviors and how they affect others. You need to have enough reason to know that succumbing to anger episodes is going to push people away and the best recourse in many situations is simply to refrain from indulging in anger, especially toward someone who has nothing to do with it and has no power to help
This really resonated with me. I’ve been so irritable and tired. I tend to be very negative and feel like everyone is against me. I’ve been trying to challenge my negativity with positivity.
Then figure out how to let go of such fears that do nothing to serve you, along with allowing yourself to build up resentment due to your unmet expectations of others.
I agree with you to a certain extent, but in my opinion, I feel in general people don’t have sympathy for sadness , or any other emotional outbursts, nor is it their problem, especially if you mention depression .
Because anger can be abusive. If someone is angry and abusive and not getting help for it (seen a lot in men who "don't believe in therapy") it's much harder to have empathy than for those who internalize it or just simply have remorse about projecting it onto other people. It's self -protective to not have empathy for someone who's abusive. Do everyone including yourself a favor and get help
Thank you for this. As long as I can remember I’ve been the “angry child”. I’ve always had these bouts of rage that I couldn’t understand why. Extremely irritable. And with that I’ve also remembered feeling depressed as long as I can remember. This makes so much sense. I was recently diagnosed with persistent depression…so it answers the question of why am I always so angry, so exhausted/tired, so irritable. Goodness gracious.
I was an angry child also. Interesting as I recognize my depression as an adult but as a child I just felt anger. Good point to bring up to my counselor.
I find that irritability and anger are the 2 main symptoms of my depression. It’s very difficult especially at work. My medication, and sleeping enough help. Seeing a psychologist for a few sessions a few years ago also helped.
same i’ve had depression for quite a while now about 4 years and instead of getting sad am mad and irritated even over small things theres nothing really going on in my life i lack hugs and love i dont have anyone expect my family. i try to go to the gym but find excuses
Anxiety, depression, and PMS cycle = a 24/7 emotional rollercoaster 🫠 I internalize most of the time but too much internalizing leads to externalizing to cope with too much internalizing 😵💫
When I’m not given the week after the actual period, I feel miserable till the next chance I have to relax and recharge and “heal”. Which is another month, after my period again. it’s happening now, I wasn’t given the chance to recharge and get back to myself and I’m forced to be around people. And I’m not being very nice. I feel like a spoiled brat. I feel alone in my head and my body and I see everyone as monsters who are preventing me from being comfortable and doing what I need to do to feel better. I’m scared for the rest of this month.
I had NO idea that anger was a sign of depression. I think I'd always been in that state. Many years now of therapy and lots of meditation has been very helpful. A wonderful, loving husband is a gift.
Thank you Emma. As an off-the-charts introvert with depression, it is hard to contemplate counseling because of the stress of starting a new relationship. Your sincere and sensible information has helped me put it together enough to reach out to the counselors available to me. I imagine you are also a big help to those who cannot afford counseling.❤
Read the book - the untethered soul. It will help you open your heart and be energised by love, which gives you the power to overcome things like anxiety and depression. Try it
I went thru "self diagnosed" depression from 2013 to 2022. Videos like these helped me a lot, when i started deep soul searching. Became alcoholic, started isolating myself. Problem is, that i have everything in my life anybody can hope for my life. It was after i started feeling gratitude, that i got out of it. But it still took me years.
I have both but I try to remember Proverbs 15:15 when I am upset "Every day is miserable for the depressed but a lighthearted man has a continual feast!"
Thank you for sharing this. I dealt with post partum depression for 18 months before getting help because I didn't realize that was what was going on. I just felt so angry all of the time. More doctors need to be aware of this instead of only asking if you have feelings of sadness.
I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and the main symptom I had was anger and irritability, anything people did would make me flip for no reason. When I found out the reason for that behavior I felt very relieved and it's concerning that people really don't talk about this.
I was diagnosed with chronic depression in 1994 and have experienced persistent bouts of anger and so many of the other symptoms mentioned in the video. None of my numerous care providers during that nearly 30 years has ever mentioned depression causing anger. Why is this not more well known? This is so helpful to understand why this continues to happen. Whereas I know there are other factors contributing to my anger, most of my providers have blamed it on the Adderall I take for ADHD. I want to learn more!
It took a psychiatrist that specializes in women to tell me that. He told me that women’s tolerance for uncertainty drops when we get into our mid-30s (esp w what society tells us we should do/have/be by that age) & that contributes to it. He also said it’s especially common in Black women bc of the intersections of mistreatment, trauma. It shook me when he said that.
I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and the main symptom I had was anger and irritability, anything people did would make me flip for no reason. When I found out the reason for that behavior I felt very relieved and it's concerning that people really don't talk about this.
Pray to god and ask him to take away that burden. Dear holy father I pray for this person and I ask you to take the weight off of their shoulders and purify his mind so they are at peace let them be aware that you are a god who is about love and a future not fear and worry anything that isn’t you is not in control of our life. Let them also be aware that if we worry about things we are not trusting you you are a powerful god these worldly problems can be given to you and you could fix them because you have performed merciless for people who asked for your help.
This explains alot and makes me feel less alone in feeling this during major depressive episodes. I thought i was just losing it or even more unhinged during my bipolar episodes. Thank you so much so this video.
I've not been diagnosed as depressed, but this sounds SO much like me! The short fuse, chronic fatigue, and hurting all the time. My PCP ran batches of labs to look for inflammation markers (thinking fibromyalgia or lupus) but all is normal. She never discussed depression with me. Hmmm....
Great video, I definitely agree with this. It's only been in the last 3 - 4 years that I have realized the huge link between my depression & anger. Sometimes I find myself being very angry and irritable towards my husband - many of the times I realize that my anger was stemming from a separate feeling of inadequacy or perhaps my feelings were hurt from something and I didn't realize it. Getting to the core of your emotions is such a journey. I certainly have found that in my anger, much of the time after the fact I find myself saying "I think what I'm really feeling is ___(depressed, inadequate, hurt, etc)" and recognizing that the flush of anger I felt stemmed from something much deeper. The process of calling out those deeper emotions has been huge in my trauma healing process. Love your videos as always~!
Thank You so much for talking about this. I have COMPLEX PTSD and Severe Chronic Deppression. I get so irritable at small things, and Anger big time at the door being stuck. Not Anger that lasts but no ability to regulate my emotions. I get so overwhelmed. It doesn't help to be Chronically ill, bed-bound mostly And in severe pain.Thank You for clarifying this. I love this understanding. In amazing Therapy. Finally. You Rock 😮
I'm actually crying now, because i'm in this situation now. And also have been experienced this for a long time. I see this video when i needed the most and few hours ago i was searching in the internet, the main cause of my anger. Thank you and i hope to pass this unpleasent stage. Sorry for possible errors, cause i'm not fluent in English.
depression.. is when one is stuck in a unhealthy situation.. with no support or help... and they feel like they have no more energy or resilience .. to keep going . like they want to just quit!!! when, there is no light at the end of the tunnel
I’m stuck in a legal battle that is slowly killing my family and I , it’s like if we loose we will suffer while our pursuit for justice is also making us suffer in the process too,… it’s like a lose lose situation and I am sick to death of being in the middle of this when I never wanted any of it , I don’t know which direction to turn and feel I do not own my own life or have any control …. I’m just stuck helping my family and the prolonged situation is slowly taking a toll… my father and I have already lost 10kgs and our minds. I think about death and leaving all of this behind very often and if life is all about “fighting/survival” I rather not be here as I am do not enjoy any of that aspect of life and for the past few years it seems to be just about that and Nothing else … I am tired and I want to find peace and stability for one , I want to fall asleep and never wake up again as I am so exhausted with dealing with life and it’s disappointments.
Would you PLEASE do a video for adolescents dealing with bullies ? How to process all the feelings that come with situations where people may actually be gossiping and saying negative things , etc.? Love your videos.
I used to be depressed, but then i converted depression to hatred and anger. I used a method i call emotion alchemy. They are way more use full then sitting around feeling sad for your self.
Bro can u help me.. I'm feeling the same way rn, depressed but the only thing I can feel is intense anger and rage. But after experiencing it for months, the rage has decreased, and I'm becoming slightly happy. Did you completely recover from your depression after releasing your anger?
This resonates so much for me. I feel like I’ve had to manage anger and irritability for almost my whole life. Oddly enough, when you talked about anger feeling like the only viable option because the sadness is usually perceived as shameful, I realized that I think the opposite happened for me growing up. As a kid, I saw how destructive and hurtful anger always was, and would always get in trouble for being angry anyway. At the time, it felt like the only acceptable thing was to turn it inward. Never loose my temper. Until eventually I forgot if I even had a temper. Now it’s just interesting to notice both sides of the spectrum are definitely present, both the pain and the anger/frustration. I have so much more language to make sense of it all than I did back then, and videos like yours are continuing to help me with that so much! Thank you!
I've been on an SSRI for several months and one of the effects I've noticed is that I don't get angry like I used to. I'm more calm when I'm working, driving, or engaging with hobbies. It has been wonderful.
Thanks for discussing this. It took me so long to realize that my cyclic anger episodes were MDD. But it can be persistent MAD mood rather than sad mood! Also, I now know why I wake between 3-5 and can't get back to sleep, that's also depression. I would note that some of us actually have stuff to be angry about, especially those of us who were forced into the scapegoat role in our family.
My irritable depression comes from sensory issues (noise, clothes, light, vision, bone pain, dental issues, food and smell issues). I am constantly overwhemed and physically uncomfortable. Therapy cost $190 per session and resolved no sensory issues.
Sensory issues can be addressed with assistance from an occupational therapist ( the particular therapy addresses sensory integration) and a neurologist. Start with your primary physician for referrals for these.
I was this....and it cost me my marriage. I didnt understand what I was going thru and my wife didnt support me, kept blaming me for bad behavior. And it ended our marriage. Thank you so much for this video. I wish I had heard it 4 years ago.
I’m here right now with my husband. I want to help him but he pushes me and everyone away and wants nothing to do with us. Just angry at everyone if we try and help but we can’t. I don’t know what to do.
@@JennyLeigh2001 Going through the same with my partner of 7 years. Every new explosion of anger is worse than the previous. Two days ago he came very close to hitting me, which never happened before. He yelled for 20 minutes at me and I just could not say a word, I knew it was pointless to argue or contradict him. I also did not want to look at him to see him disfigured with anger. He left me that evening. The following day he collected all his things and left loving messages on my table. I can't help him, he needs professional help and his family are burying their heads in the sand. I am powerless.
I agree with it all. Anger is so complicated and the most satisfying. Depression is definitely a feeling of hopelessness...and I did learn and understand how depression serves as a counter balance for my anxiety. Therapy was my lifesaver...
I’m so glad I came upon this, I’m with someone who fights depression and PTSD, combat vet! He’s also healing or trying to, from his past, I’m trying to find ways in helping him or re learning what to do or not to do! He’s also someone I grew up with from childhood!
this may sound very weird but your videos always get uploaded when i need them the most. i learn a lot more about myself from these videos and it inspires me to get better especially with depression (i have no funds for a proper therapist so your videos help so much). I've been feeling guilty that i feel irritable but i realize it may be from my depression and brings so much things into perspective. thank u so much!
YES. The timing is extraordinarily strange. That makes me even crazier. But glad to know that I am not the only one experiencing that. The experience makes me more spiritual. There is a secret in this world, I'm sure, but I understand nothing.
3:54 Externalizing vs. Internalizing 5:30 Depression Impairs Emotional Regulation 6:10 Depression Colors Your Worldview 6:50 Suppressed Feelings (Anger Iceberg) 7:45 Depression Causes Physical Pain and Emotional Exhaustion 8:47 How to Help Yourself 10:30 How to Help Someone Else with Depression
Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling with actual rage for a long time. I live with my mother at the moment and she triggers a lot of my anger therefore, I continuously respond to her with emotional abuse. I feel she does it to me all the time and she has hurt me in social situations numerous times throughout my life that I just want her to hurt like I do. It’s a terrible vicious cycle that I do not feel good about. I have been on antidepressants for probably twenty years now and I really feel unhinged. I had no idea that anger could be a result of depression but it makes total sense. I am starting therapy this week and I really hope I can feel good about life again and get along with people.
Situation + reaction = outcome. When you realize that you are in charge, that you have a choice, you can begin to slow down your reaction time. In that space you create is the freedom to make a better choice. Not easy to do, but with practice, it becomes easier. Notice the triggers BEfORE you react.
Makes sense. Anger and depression are the worst. I wish someone or something could help me out of this nightmare. .😡😡😡 Help is too expensive and no one is telling me anything that helps. I have too much stress in my life, just got fired, my social security number was hacked and no one can help.
I'm praying for y'all. My dear Mama went to heaven 2 yrs ago and I already have major depression and anxiety and grief on top is extremely hard. I'm thankful for this video. Sometimes people think we're being mean but anger, outbursts etc are part of depression. 🙏🏻✝️🕯️
My deepest condolences. My wife and I lost our first son 20 years ago. The hardest part is dealing with grief that comes and goes when it wants and I find myself dealing with it at the weirdest times that are triggered by events, music, smells, etc. Keep holding on. And keep reaching out for help. I find most people don't understand how to empathize so I try reaching out for help.
@@miltongopaI’m sorry for your loss Milton. I lost my mom 4 weeks before my husband died. It is all fresh being that it happened in June and July of 2023. Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me that you not only read but also commented because I often feel invisible. The wish for you the very best that life has to offer.
Excellent! I have been going through self demolition of a lifetime of depression/anger and slowly rebuilding valid emotions and thought patterns. Not easy task, but I see a light at the end of my efforts. I just grew sick of myself and desired a better me.
BINGO BINGO BINGO!! no one knew I was depressed(since a child) cuz all people saw was the immense anger I had. I was even diagnosed with bipolar just cuz of the anger. No one questioned why I was angry n try to figure it out. Heck I didn't even know why I was angry. Got sober n got deep into my Christian faith for help to help me with sobriety. My prayer was answered n I finally figured out "why". Who knew it was from trauma that I didn't even realize I had. I took it out on everyone cuz I suppressed my emotions all my life.The anger dissipated n now I can finally see the sky through the clouds. I don't have bipolar due to being misdiagnosed n i doubt i have depression anymore🙌
I thought i healed but today i got so angry i started screaming in my car and had angry tears. Watching this helped me so much, i feel like like my life has been endless successing waves of hell and ive been forced to swim through it all alone. So not only im angry im inwardly scared shtless. I have no idea what im doing even as a fully grown adult with a job. And i feel most times like nobody cares at all about me. It’s healing to listen to a kind rational person like you because I don’t get that much.😢
As a teacher, I see this in students. I told one freshman that I could tell justice was important to her because she would go off on others when she thought they were being unfair. I told her that I could see she was a caring person working through a cloud of pain. Of course, she still sometimes doesn’t acknowledge that I’m talking to her, but I have seen improvement. I offer her the chance to calm down and take care of herself at the beginning of class if she needs it.
Anger attacks is most accurate description I’ve ever heard. Mine can last for days at a time. I have zero support system, can’t afford therapy. On top of that I have a scar on my pre-frontal cortex making me already prone to anger and frustration. On antidepressants but it’s so hard to see a doctor in Canada. I’m stuck with what I have and I think I need something stronger.
YES! When people instigate arguments I always view it as a cry for help. When I engage with them and respond calmly and unphased by their negativity most of the time they calm down and they seem to appreciate that someone took the time to listen to them. MOST OF THE TIME! If I ever feel uncomfortable or feel threatened I walk away from the threat.
I tell me clients that depression can often can be anger turned inward. I liked all this extra info as well and will be sharing. Great video as usual!!
Psilocybin mushrooms healed me . I can't explain it but my experience has been spiritual and eye opening . I also started micro dosing . It really helped me get rid of depression and anxiety .
Both of my parents have depression (one as a symptom of epilepsy, the other related to post-traumatic stress) and both externalize. I grew up in the role of a mediator between them as well as m younger sibling. I myself am not clinically depressed, but the life has made me impatient with depressed people.
I dont know if my seizures are from epilepsy or non epileptic and ptsd, doctors don't know, my episodes look like panic attacks and are also painful,eeg shows activity but normal mri I have alot of past trauma and also in a unhealthy marriage so I feel anger for feeling stuck😢
I hate myself and everything about me..I try to keep surviving, and just be a good person and try not to breakdown and end it all. Never being able to stay asleep without racing thoughts and nightmares, EVERY..NIGHT.. It's exhausting. 😭 And then seeing others bully each other who are already suffering enough, it's horrible and it makes me hate the world and not want to be here anymore.. I'm putting this here to say i don't know if i can do this anymore, i'm so far on the edge i just don't know anymore, i'm shaking and it hurts, but i;m trying, find people who love you for you, *don't* let them go, Stay strong out there..
I used to be full of life but lately seeing so many messed up selfish, jealous, ugly ppl on the daily really is taking a toll on my outlook on life. Gotta admit it is a pretty messed up world that we live in.
I remember my mental health meds guy asking if I had problems with anger or irritability when he first diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. I just didn't have the energy for anger, so that didn't ring true for me. He asked me a million different questions. He couched his questions in less-direct terms, but it was clear what he was asking.
When my mom died I was angery about everything even when it came to such small things as people getting my order wrong or I or someone else made A small mistake. I would honk at everyone and I thought I was crazy until time went by and realized I was in a deep stage of grief and depression. No one understood me and his angry I hated existing everyday without the person I was with my entire life. I couldn’t regulate any of my emotions. All I would do is cry and I was so irritated and I would never eat. This video reminds me of how mental is so important
this was just what i needed to hear today i'm very grateful that you provide help for those of us who are struggling with financial health as well as mental health. i got angry at two separate people today and then i felt as though the gains in my long endeavor toward personal growth were just erased
Wow! I never understood the link. This has helped me to understand so much about my experience of depression that I couldn't make sense of. Thank you! ❤
I have dealt with this my whole life my parents would always just tell me to go to my room and stop throwing a temper tantrum when I was a child so I grew up holding in my feelings a lot and had relationships I couldn’t talk about my feelings with either because they would just tell me I’m crazy I have tried so many different anti depressants/anxiety medications and none of them help they make me feel worse and I end up having no emotions after while and become more irritable i don’t know if anyone can relate but I’m glad I found this channel ❤
Wow! That was so incredibly eye-opening! I have been looking for a remedy to this anger for so long. Watching videos on how to not be so angry, and trying to find ways to learn to be calm, but I will start looking at this as a possible symptom of depression, and deal with it from there! I will not take any medication but this has given me an insight that I had not been able to see for myself! Thank you most kindly this is life changing and very enlightening!
I love your attitude--I think your field is the much-needed evolution of the physical fitness boom of the 90s and on, for now, in addition to "muscular fitness", we can really address "cerebral fitness". After working your biceps, you can see the results, but the brain remains hidden in the skull, so results appear in things like behavior and emotion. Videos like yours help remove unhelpful stigma from mental issues--nobody really feels embarrassed by limping when they have a strained tendon, and now they don't have to feel embarrassed about behaviors caused by insults to a portion of their nervous systems/brains. Now we can work even more on fixing the actual problems; not just covering up the symptoms. Thanks for posting!
Thank you for making this video. I have noticed myself becoming more and more irritatable and quick to anger. This will be something I will speak to my therapist about.
If someone's been through narcissistic abuse, and that contributed significantly to their depression, then I would say another person (the narcissist) absolutely played a role
My husband of 40 years and his 2 brothers were sexually abused by a Priest when they were little. My husband has always been angry and denies it even happened. His brothers say it was worse for my husband. We lost their brother to alcohol poisoning. The other one goes to counseling. I always wondered how my husband was so angry all the time and complaining all the time. Thank you for this video. It also explains why my Mom took everything out on me. She was diagnosed as a manic depressive paranoid scitzophrenic. Eventually being called bipolar.
One technique to resolve deep traumas, is to think " I used to be that person, i m not that person anymore. Now, I am healthier, wealthier and much more wiser". Plus the "Attitude of Gratitude" is a big help. Find at least 5 windows in ur day, where u count at least 5 things u r grateful for in ur life.
Thank u so much for this video! It really opened my eyes and helped me to be more empathetic towards myself & others. The work u do is so important. Education on mental health has been elusive most of my life. I am so grateful for the things u have taught me. Such an important & helpful piece of the puzzle. ❤
finding out that anger was related to depression was so relieving because when I started to improve I kept thinking I was a horrible person because I used to have these anger attacks I simply couldn’t control no matter how hard I tried to push them away, and I always felt awfully guilty once I finally just exploded, but during it it was as if I almost was in the backseat watching it happen… I still feel like a monster but, at least now I can feel the difference and don’t get that anger anymore, and can also understand what provoked it and why its so important to keep those factors away
This couldn’t come at a more perfect time for me. Thank you! It’s funny. I have read dozens of books and hundreds of articles on psychology. Yet nothing sticks better than your videos!
I swing between externalizing and internalizing my depression then because I'll have a rage/anger attack and then internalize my pain and swing into the sad depressive phase. At my lowest part of it I experience passive suicidal ideation that I subconsciously fear I'll act on one day.
I try to tell my dad to stop getting defensive back at me if I release some of my anger or irritability from something around him because it only makes it worse. But sadly despite my own attempts to tell him not to jump onto the anger train with me, he still does it and it’s just not fair to me because I can’t seem to explain it to him properly that when he starts expressing his anger towards me he is actually making my situation/feelings even worse. And he works in psychiatry for crying out loud!
most people won't help me, because my situation is SO complicated. The last one I went to just said, "I can't believe you haven't left the church", well, I'll go anywhere if someone will really do more good than harm, but I just have a LONG history of lack of support in life, despite reaching out time after time after time
I scream into my pillow. And I try not to hurt anyone physically of course but I do scream into my pillow. 😆 After these holidays I've been really overwhelmed. You don't want to know the details.. the laugh emoji wasn't really appropriate, but I have to try and smile because I don't feel the pain in my chest anymore after screaming in my pillow
I needed to hear this. Something to discuss at next doctor's appt. Medication helped (a lot) in the beginning, but a few years later it doesn't seem to help much at all. Angry and irritable seems to be my middle name. My mom always blames menopause or the full moon. LOL! Or sometimes she just thinks I'm mean. The tiniest things.....anger is always my first reaction. It's hard to live this way.
For what it's worth, if you haven't looked into perimenopause stuff...I was shocked, anyway! So many stories of women who reported that they started feeling like they were going crazy, that they were angry all the time and couldn't stand their spouse or their kids. And it's not that they actually hated their family, but fluctuating hormones were just making them angry almost all the time! Anyway, I know you were joking and I don't mean to come in like a party-crashing nerd. 😂 I'm entering perimenopause myself, and there's surprisingly little that's known about it. All I knew about were hot flashes and irregular periods. The mental/emotional toll, as well as other symptoms, were a complete shock to me!
This is true to me. I have been depressed for a long time. I thought i got rid of it because of external experiences not internal. I understood that it's normal. It got so normal that it became chronic. My relationships with my husband didn't help it either. I knew the reason of depression.
Like oliver anthony was talking about. Too much overtime hours can cause depression and anger. That's my main problem. Sometimes it's just that constant working alone that causes the trouble. Has been with me.
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
And I do get therapy thank God
i feel like i come off as angry or irritated because i’m stuck in survival mode, im so tense sometimes the littlest things set me off in big ways
Me too
I need you in my life
Word!
I can relate
Oh same, same, same. I know the truth of why I am the way that I am, so I'm totally okay with people thinking wrongly about me. That's their problem, aaaand also mine, lol.
I'm here learning how to reduce the anger, worry, irritation, sadness, fear and all of that jazz. I've got some inner healing to do. I know I'm already perfect as is, but I do wanna do it for myself anyway. I want my peace back, the very same peace I had before some of the really devasting traumas happened.
I'm ready to learn, love, heal, forgive, forget, let go, grow and ascend!
Anger is hurt, fear, and frusttration. It is very painful to watch. 😢
Anger is a signal that something needs to change. Depression is the feeling that it won't.
Very well said, thank you
I worked as a therapist for 20 years so I always knew this but you have perfectly summed it up
Discontentment is an opportunity for change.
Just communicate with Love and Kindness.
🙄
Frustration and depression when are together should be treated immediately
I see depression as helplessness that arose after the world hurt you, you tried to defend yourself and cope, and you were unable to. I think more than anything, more than any theory of depression I can learn, I just want a hug in my darkest moments. A little compassion for the wounded part of me that was taught that I was powerless. After all I've been through, of course I'm depressed. It'd be much weirder if I wasn't. Please, just see me, offer me compassion, hugs, love, for the pain I have felt, not pills or pathology.
You are not alone. It's almost as though you took the words from my own mind. I hope you get the hugs you've been longing for 💙
Come on into these Granny arms and know I am hugging you from afar. Breathe. Let go.
Forgive. 🤗❤️
Yeah they say talk to your doctor...mine asked if I want drugs...no compassion or like it sounds like you are having a hard time...nope, do you want drugs? Then I finally reached out to a Crisis Center, it's been 2 months, no therapist. My Care Coordinator...sighs, I actually give HIM information. I agree, though, I just want someone to actually give a damn, hug, listen. I think depression is definitely where you try and try to deal with something and get hurt and it seems like no one cares, no one is in your corner. So I agree with everything you are saying.
The fact that you can work that out and understand it, is surely a really positive thing - even though it still hurts. I sometimes feel like the only people who really understand me are not here any more... (they died) and some people who think they understand me (because they have known me ages) don't at all. So I have this sense of frustration and disappointment - it is managing that that is sometimes exhausting. I have other friends and relatives who are great.
Hugs, hun ❤ I really know what you feel + social anxiety and panic attacks are in my daily routine ...you're not alone and you'll never be❤
Internalizing can also be “brushing it off” or “suck it up” or “it’s not that bad” and when you avoid those feelings long enough it builds and explodes in anger.
Scary
Agree
YES. Never heard and only just invalidated because people see negative emotion as weak, when it’s really that you’ve tried to be too strong for too long.
Definitely. Especially if you're being gaslighted.
There’s “brushing it off” and “sucking it up” which invalidates but also there’s the demand to remain mindful of your externalizing behaviors and how they affect others. You need to have enough reason to know that succumbing to anger episodes is going to push people away and the best recourse in many situations is simply to refrain from indulging in anger, especially toward someone who has nothing to do with it and has no power to help
This really resonated with me. I’ve been so irritable and tired. I tend to be very negative and feel like everyone is against me. I’ve been trying to challenge my negativity with positivity.
Same!
how do you do that??
@@freudfriesmymindmeditation helps a bit
I also feel every one is against me
Okay, but during election season people actually do come against you. Let’s change that! People want just leaders!
I can definitely relate... I'm in so much emotional pain that oversteps the boundary into physical pain, it makes me grumpy as all hell.
Singing my truth..
same...
I feel like my rage is always just right under the surface
I try to channel it out in different ways but sometimes i’m just an a hole LOL
Everything triggers me lately
@@badboygoodgirlsame
cause it is..... i feel this also
Me too as hard as I have worked to work through and “unpack my feelings” it’s still just so much h under the surface.
Fear and resentment is behind my rage. Being terrified of life's challenges. Always coping alone. I am exhausted.
Then figure out how to let go of such fears that do nothing to serve you, along with allowing yourself to build up resentment due to your unmet expectations of others.
Sounds like you’re in survival mode with no support!
I feel like people have sympathy for the sadness part of depression but not other symptoms
I agree with you to a certain extent, but in my opinion, I feel in general people don’t have sympathy for sadness , or any other emotional outbursts, nor is it their problem, especially if you mention depression .
Yeah you’re right , when I’m lazy and or angry nobody cares anymore
Because anger can be abusive. If someone is angry and abusive and not getting help for it (seen a lot in men who "don't believe in therapy") it's much harder to have empathy than for those who internalize it or just simply have remorse about projecting it onto other people. It's self -protective to not have empathy for someone who's abusive. Do everyone including yourself a favor and get help
@@tinaferrwell said...
Not even that
Thank you for this. As long as I can remember I’ve been the “angry child”. I’ve always had these bouts of rage that I couldn’t understand why. Extremely irritable. And with that I’ve also remembered feeling depressed as long as I can remember. This makes so much sense. I was recently diagnosed with persistent depression…so it answers the question of why am I always so angry, so exhausted/tired, so irritable. Goodness gracious.
Me too but it does not stem from trauma
Sending lots of love. It can be a lonely road!
I was an angry child also. Interesting as I recognize my depression as an adult but as a child I just felt anger. Good point to bring up to my counselor.
@@Caligirl-1111same....
Thanks for sharing
I find that irritability and anger are the 2 main symptoms of my depression. It’s very difficult especially at work. My medication, and sleeping enough help. Seeing a psychologist for a few sessions a few years ago also helped.
same i’ve had depression for quite a while now about 4 years and instead of getting sad am mad and irritated even over small things theres nothing really going on in my life i lack hugs and love i dont have anyone expect my family. i try to go to the gym but find excuses
Yup. The biggest symptom of my grief from my husband dying is anger and bitterness.
I am sorry for your loss, truly I am.❤
Anxiety, depression, and PMS cycle = a 24/7 emotional rollercoaster 🫠
I internalize most of the time but too much internalizing leads to externalizing to cope with too much internalizing 😵💫
When I’m not given the week after the actual period, I feel miserable till the next chance I have to relax and recharge and “heal”. Which is another month, after my period again. it’s happening now, I wasn’t given the chance to recharge and get back to myself and I’m forced to be around people. And I’m not being very nice. I feel like a spoiled brat. I feel alone in my head and my body and I see everyone as monsters who are preventing me from being comfortable and doing what I need to do to feel better. I’m scared for the rest of this month.
I had NO idea that anger was a sign of depression. I think I'd always been in that state. Many years now of therapy and lots of meditation has been very helpful. A wonderful, loving husband is a gift.
Thank you Emma. As an off-the-charts introvert with depression, it is hard to contemplate counseling because of the stress of starting a new relationship. Your sincere and sensible information has helped me put it together enough to reach out to the counselors available to me. I imagine you are also a big help to those who cannot afford counseling.❤
Read the book - the untethered soul. It will help you open your heart and be energised by love, which gives you the power to overcome things like anxiety and depression. Try it
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I went thru "self diagnosed" depression from 2013 to 2022. Videos like these helped me a lot, when i started deep soul searching. Became alcoholic, started isolating myself. Problem is, that i have everything in my life anybody can hope for my life. It was after i started feeling gratitude, that i got out of it. But it still took me years.
This is perfect to explain it all to my boyfriend! I'm not just angry person but my whole life has changed!!!
I have both but I try to remember Proverbs 15:15 when I am upset "Every day is miserable for the depressed but a lighthearted man has a continual feast!"
Amen ✝️
Thankyou for sharing scripture. ❤I really want to allow holy spirit to lead me, guide me. 😢Jesus comfort us
Thank you for sharing this. I dealt with post partum depression for 18 months before getting help because I didn't realize that was what was going on. I just felt so angry all of the time. More doctors need to be aware of this instead of only asking if you have feelings of sadness.
Yes, this! Had no idea my anger was post-partum 🙌
You are the most helpful therapist I have ever listened to! Everything just makes so much sense
I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and the main symptom I had was anger and irritability, anything people did would make me flip for no reason. When I found out the reason for that behavior I felt very relieved and it's concerning that people really don't talk about this.
I was diagnosed with chronic depression in 1994 and have experienced persistent bouts of anger and so many of the other symptoms mentioned in the video. None of my numerous care providers during that nearly 30 years has ever mentioned depression causing anger. Why is this not more well known? This is so helpful to understand why this continues to happen. Whereas I know there are other factors contributing to my anger, most of my providers have blamed it on the Adderall I take for ADHD. I want to learn more!
It took a psychiatrist that specializes in women to tell me that. He told me that women’s tolerance for uncertainty drops when we get into our mid-30s (esp w what society tells us we should do/have/be by that age) & that contributes to it. He also said it’s especially common in Black women bc of the intersections of mistreatment, trauma. It shook me when he said that.
I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and the main symptom I had was anger and irritability, anything people did would make me flip for no reason. When I found out the reason for that behavior I felt very relieved and it's concerning that people really don't talk about this.
I am dealing with anger and depression and anxiety all at the same time. stress is killing me.
R u here still? Im the same.
@@joannenascimento9213 I am here
The shame cones from fanatic Christians
I am the same
Pray to god and ask him to take away that burden. Dear holy father I pray for this person and I ask you to take the weight off of their shoulders and purify his mind so they are at peace let them be aware that you are a god who is about love and a future not fear and worry anything that isn’t you is not in control of our life. Let them also be aware that if we worry about things we are not trusting you you are a powerful god these worldly problems can be given to you and you could fix them because you have performed merciless for people who asked for your help.
This explains alot and makes me feel less alone in feeling this during major depressive episodes. I thought i was just losing it or even more unhinged during my bipolar episodes. Thank you so much so this video.
I've not been diagnosed as depressed, but this sounds SO much like me! The short fuse, chronic fatigue, and hurting all the time. My PCP ran batches of labs to look for inflammation markers (thinking fibromyalgia or lupus) but all is normal. She never discussed depression with me. Hmmm....
Great video, I definitely agree with this. It's only been in the last 3 - 4 years that I have realized the huge link between my depression & anger. Sometimes I find myself being very angry and irritable towards my husband - many of the times I realize that my anger was stemming from a separate feeling of inadequacy or perhaps my feelings were hurt from something and I didn't realize it. Getting to the core of your emotions is such a journey. I certainly have found that in my anger, much of the time after the fact I find myself saying "I think what I'm really feeling is ___(depressed, inadequate, hurt, etc)" and recognizing that the flush of anger I felt stemmed from something much deeper. The process of calling out those deeper emotions has been huge in my trauma healing process. Love your videos as always~!
Thank You so much for talking about this. I have COMPLEX PTSD and Severe Chronic Deppression. I get so irritable at small things, and Anger big time at the door being stuck. Not Anger that lasts but no ability to regulate my emotions. I get so overwhelmed. It doesn't help to be Chronically ill, bed-bound mostly
And in severe pain.Thank You for clarifying this. I love this understanding.
In amazing Therapy.
Finally. You Rock 😮
I'm actually crying now, because i'm in this situation now. And also have been experienced this for a long time. I see this video when i needed the most and few hours ago i was searching in the internet, the main cause of my anger. Thank you and i hope to pass this unpleasent stage. Sorry for possible errors, cause i'm not fluent in English.
depression.. is when one is stuck in a unhealthy situation.. with no support or help... and they feel like they have no more energy or resilience .. to keep going . like they want to just quit!!! when, there is no light at the end of the tunnel
Exactly
Yes!!!
You are right just how I am feeling right now being a mother of 2 and also working with no family members here, something I just want to give up
I’m stuck in a legal battle that is slowly killing my family and I , it’s like if we loose we will suffer while our pursuit for justice is also making us suffer in the process too,… it’s like a lose lose situation and I am sick to death of being in the middle of this when I never wanted any of it , I don’t know which direction to turn and feel I do not own my own life or have any control …. I’m just stuck helping my family and the prolonged situation is slowly taking a toll… my father and I have already lost 10kgs and our minds. I think about death and leaving all of this behind very often and if life is all about “fighting/survival” I rather not be here as I am do not enjoy any of that aspect of life and for the past few years it seems to be just about that and Nothing else … I am tired and I want to find peace and stability for one , I want to fall asleep and never wake up again as I am so exhausted with dealing with life and it’s disappointments.
Would you PLEASE do a video for adolescents dealing with bullies ? How to process all the feelings that come with situations where people may actually be gossiping and saying negative things , etc.? Love your videos.
I used to be depressed, but then i converted depression to hatred and anger. I used a method i call emotion alchemy. They are way more use full then sitting around feeling sad for your self.
Bro can u help me.. I'm feeling the same way rn, depressed but the only thing I can feel is intense anger and rage.
But after experiencing it for months, the rage has decreased, and I'm becoming slightly happy.
Did you completely recover from your depression after releasing your anger?
yesss which is why i LOVE rock and metal
I like the way Emma explained depression and symptoms of depression.
This resonates so much for me. I feel like I’ve had to manage anger and irritability for almost my whole life. Oddly enough, when you talked about anger feeling like the only viable option because the sadness is usually perceived as shameful, I realized that I think the opposite happened for me growing up. As a kid, I saw how destructive and hurtful anger always was, and would always get in trouble for being angry anyway. At the time, it felt like the only acceptable thing was to turn it inward. Never loose my temper. Until eventually I forgot if I even had a temper.
Now it’s just interesting to notice both sides of the spectrum are definitely present, both the pain and the anger/frustration.
I have so much more language to make sense of it all than I did back then, and videos like yours are continuing to help me with that so much! Thank you!
Healing with you
I've been on an SSRI for several months and one of the effects I've noticed is that I don't get angry like I used to. I'm more calm when I'm working, driving, or engaging with hobbies. It has been wonderful.
Thanks for discussing this. It took me so long to realize that my cyclic anger episodes were MDD. But it can be persistent MAD mood rather than sad mood! Also, I now know why I wake between 3-5 and can't get back to sleep, that's also depression.
I would note that some of us actually have stuff to be angry about, especially those of us who were forced into the scapegoat role in our family.
My irritable depression comes from sensory issues (noise, clothes, light, vision, bone pain, dental issues, food and smell issues). I am constantly overwhemed and physically uncomfortable. Therapy cost $190 per session and resolved no sensory issues.
Sensory issues can be addressed with assistance from an occupational therapist ( the particular therapy addresses sensory integration) and a neurologist. Start with your primary physician for referrals for these.
I was this....and it cost me my marriage. I didnt understand what I was going thru and my wife didnt support me, kept blaming me for bad behavior. And it ended our marriage. Thank you so much for this video. I wish I had heard it 4 years ago.
wish my daughter in law would watch this as well would help her a lot. my grandson as well
I’m here right now with my husband. I want to help him but he pushes me and everyone away and wants nothing to do with us. Just angry at everyone if we try and help but we can’t. I don’t know what to do.
@@JennyLeigh2001 Going through the same with my partner of 7 years. Every new explosion of anger is worse than the previous. Two days ago he came very close to hitting me, which never happened before. He yelled for 20 minutes at me and I just could not say a word, I knew it was pointless to argue or contradict him. I also did not want to look at him to see him disfigured with anger. He left me that evening. The following day he collected all his things and left loving messages on my table. I can't help him, he needs professional help and his family are burying their heads in the sand. I am powerless.
@@magdapracsiu3096I am so sorry. I hope that things can improve for him (and therefore you) - and that you have kind, supportive friends.
@@magdapracsiu3096give him time alone to process his thoughts if it hasn’t improved. But do let him know if he needs help he can come to you
I agree with it all. Anger is so complicated and the most satisfying. Depression is definitely a feeling of hopelessness...and I did learn and understand how depression serves as a counter balance for my anxiety. Therapy was my lifesaver...
I’m so glad I came upon this, I’m with someone who fights depression and PTSD, combat vet! He’s also healing or trying to, from his past, I’m trying to find ways in helping him or re learning what to do or not to do! He’s also someone I grew up with from childhood!
this may sound very weird but your videos always get uploaded when i need them the most. i learn a lot more about myself from these videos and it inspires me to get better especially with depression (i have no funds for a proper therapist so your videos help so much). I've been feeling guilty that i feel irritable but i realize it may be from my depression and brings so much things into perspective. thank u so much!
YES. The timing is extraordinarily strange. That makes me even crazier. But glad to know that I am not the only one experiencing that. The experience makes me more spiritual. There is a secret in this world, I'm sure, but I understand nothing.
3:54 Externalizing vs. Internalizing
5:30 Depression Impairs Emotional Regulation
6:10 Depression Colors Your Worldview
6:50 Suppressed Feelings (Anger Iceberg)
7:45 Depression Causes Physical Pain and Emotional Exhaustion
8:47 How to Help Yourself
10:30 How to Help Someone Else with Depression
Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling with actual rage for a long time. I live with my mother at the moment and she triggers a lot of my anger therefore, I continuously respond to her with emotional abuse. I feel she does it to me all the time and she has hurt me in social situations numerous times throughout my life that I just want her to hurt like I do. It’s a terrible vicious cycle that I do not feel good about. I have been on antidepressants for probably twenty years now and I really feel unhinged. I had no idea that anger could be a result of depression but it makes total sense. I am starting therapy this week and I really hope I can feel good about life again and get along with people.
Situation + reaction = outcome. When you realize that you are in charge, that you have a choice, you can begin to slow down your reaction time. In that space you create is the freedom to make a better choice. Not easy to do, but with practice, it becomes easier. Notice the triggers BEfORE you react.
Makes sense. Anger and depression are the worst. I wish someone or something could help me out of this nightmare. .😡😡😡 Help is too expensive and no one is telling me anything that helps. I have too much stress in my life, just got fired, my social security number was hacked and no one can help.
I’m grieving the loss of my husband. It feels like my major depression episodes. It’s difficult to say the least.
All my support to you. I lost my father last year and it has been an ordeal.
I'm praying for y'all. My dear Mama went to heaven 2 yrs ago and I already have major depression and anxiety and grief on top is extremely hard. I'm thankful for this video. Sometimes people think we're being mean but anger, outbursts etc are part of depression.
🙏🏻✝️🕯️
I'm so sorry for you loss
My deepest condolences. My wife and I lost our first son 20 years ago. The hardest part is dealing with grief that comes and goes when it wants and I find myself dealing with it at the weirdest times that are triggered by events, music, smells, etc. Keep holding on. And keep reaching out for help. I find most people don't understand how to empathize so I try reaching out for help.
@@miltongopaI’m sorry for your loss Milton. I lost my mom 4 weeks before my husband died. It is all fresh being that it happened in June and July of 2023. Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me that you not only read but also commented because I often feel invisible. The wish for you the very best that life has to offer.
Excellent! I have been going through self demolition of a lifetime of depression/anger and slowly rebuilding valid emotions and thought patterns. Not easy task, but I see a light at the end of my efforts. I just grew sick of myself and desired a better me.
This explanation was a HUGE lightbulb
BINGO BINGO BINGO!! no one knew I was depressed(since a child) cuz all people saw was the immense anger I had. I was even diagnosed with bipolar just cuz of the anger. No one questioned why I was angry n try to figure it out. Heck I didn't even know why I was angry. Got sober n got deep into my Christian faith for help to help me with sobriety. My prayer was answered n I finally figured out "why". Who knew it was from trauma that I didn't even realize I had. I took it out on everyone cuz I suppressed my emotions all my life.The anger dissipated n now I can finally see the sky through the clouds. I don't have bipolar due to being misdiagnosed n i doubt i have depression anymore🙌
Can you share what type of trauma?
I thought i healed but today i got so angry i started screaming in my car and had angry tears. Watching this helped me so much, i feel like like my life has been endless successing waves of hell and ive been forced to swim through it all alone. So not only im angry im inwardly scared shtless. I have no idea what im doing even as a fully grown adult with a job. And i feel most times like nobody cares at all about me. It’s healing to listen to a kind rational person like you because I don’t get that much.😢
I really hate being angry all the time. I get veryyyyy raged filled & start lashing out but I truly don't want to be that way 😢
As a teacher, I see this in students. I told one freshman that I could tell justice was important to her because she would go off on others when she thought they were being unfair. I told her that I could see she was a caring person working through a cloud of pain. Of course, she still sometimes doesn’t acknowledge that I’m talking to her, but I have seen improvement. I offer her the chance to calm down and take care of herself at the beginning of class if she needs it.
You seem to be kind ma’am. Even I’m trying so hard to put life together. Yes the world seems so unfair to me and I’m only 17
Anger attacks is most accurate description I’ve ever heard. Mine can last for days at a time. I have zero support system, can’t afford therapy. On top of that I have a scar on my pre-frontal cortex making me already prone to anger and frustration. On antidepressants but it’s so hard to see a doctor in Canada. I’m stuck with what I have and I think I need something stronger.
YES! When people instigate arguments I always view it as a cry for help. When I engage with them and respond calmly and unphased by their negativity most of the time they calm down and they seem to appreciate that someone took the time to listen to them. MOST OF THE TIME! If I ever feel uncomfortable or feel threatened I walk away from the threat.
I tell me clients that depression can often can be anger turned inward. I liked all this extra info as well and will be sharing. Great video as usual!!
Psilocybin mushrooms healed me . I can't explain it but my experience has been spiritual and eye opening . I also started micro dosing . It really helped me get rid of depression and anxiety .
I've been looking to get my hands on shrooms for my anxiety and stress levels . Any one knows where I can source ?
@@rhysreid9302Yes dr.jeffshroom
@@janithglichrist2994dr.jeffshroom is the best . He's been my go to for anything psychedelics and shrooms . He's very good
@@kathleenmcclenahan5701Is he on insta??
@@peterestrada8542Yes he's dr. jeffshroom
Both of my parents have depression (one as a symptom of epilepsy, the other related to post-traumatic stress) and both externalize. I grew up in the role of a mediator between them as well as m younger sibling. I myself am not clinically depressed, but the life has made me impatient with depressed people.
I dont know if my seizures are from epilepsy or non epileptic and ptsd, doctors don't know, my episodes look like panic attacks and are also painful,eeg shows activity but normal mri
I have alot of past trauma and also in a unhealthy marriage so I feel anger for feeling stuck😢
I hate myself and everything about me..I try to keep surviving, and just be a good person and try not to breakdown and end it all. Never being able to stay asleep without racing thoughts and nightmares, EVERY..NIGHT.. It's exhausting. 😭 And then seeing others bully each other who are already suffering enough, it's horrible and it makes me hate the world and not want to be here anymore.. I'm putting this here to say i don't know if i can do this anymore, i'm so far on the edge i just don't know anymore, i'm shaking and it hurts, but i;m trying, find people who love you for you, *don't* let them go, Stay strong out there..
I have anger issues, and everyone complains about it all the time. I can't change myself.
Thank you so much Emma, I’ve been struggling with anger lately and now it makes so much more sense. ❤
I used to be full of life but lately seeing so many messed up selfish, jealous, ugly ppl on the daily really is taking a toll on my outlook on life. Gotta admit it is a pretty messed up world that we live in.
I remember my mental health meds guy asking if I had problems with anger or irritability when he first diagnosed me with anxiety and depression.
I just didn't have the energy for anger, so that didn't ring true for me.
He asked me a million different questions.
He couched his questions in less-direct terms, but it was clear what he was asking.
Emma: Thank you! In 13 minutes listening to you I finally undestand my life. Soon I’ll be 70… I wonder if it’s not too late for me ..
When my mom died I was angery about everything even when it came to such small things as people getting my order wrong or I or someone else made A small mistake. I would honk at everyone and I thought I was crazy until time went by and realized I was in a deep stage of grief and depression. No one understood me and his angry I hated existing everyday without the person I was with my entire life. I couldn’t regulate any of my emotions. All I would do is cry and I was so irritated and I would never eat. This video reminds me of how mental is so important
this was just what i needed to hear today
i'm very grateful that you provide help for those of us who are struggling with financial health as well as mental health.
i got angry at two separate people today and then i felt as though the gains in my long endeavor toward personal growth were just erased
Wow! I never understood the link. This has helped me to understand so much about my experience of depression that I couldn't make sense of. Thank you! ❤
So true. There are stages of depression (in my opinion): lonely - sadness - dullness - anger - violence
Thank you so much, Emma. I really needed to hear this explanation. It helps me make better sense of why I’m “suddenly” more angry inside.
I have dealt with this my whole life my parents would always just tell me to go to my room and stop throwing a temper tantrum when I was a child so I grew up holding in my feelings a lot and had relationships I couldn’t talk about my feelings with either because they would just tell me I’m crazy I have tried so many different anti depressants/anxiety medications and none of them help they make me feel worse and I end up having no emotions after while and become more irritable i don’t know if anyone can relate but I’m glad I found this channel ❤
Wow! That was so incredibly eye-opening! I have been looking for a remedy to this anger for so long. Watching videos on how to not be so angry, and trying to find ways to learn to be calm, but I will start looking at this as a possible symptom of depression, and deal with it from there! I will not take any medication but this has given me an insight that I had not been able to see for myself! Thank you most kindly this is life changing and very enlightening!
I love your attitude--I think your field is the much-needed evolution of the physical fitness boom of the 90s and on, for now, in addition to "muscular fitness", we can really address "cerebral fitness". After working your biceps, you can see the results, but the brain remains hidden in the skull, so results appear in things like behavior and emotion. Videos like yours help remove unhelpful stigma from mental issues--nobody really feels embarrassed by limping when they have a strained tendon, and now they don't have to feel embarrassed about behaviors caused by insults to a portion of their nervous systems/brains. Now we can work even more on fixing the actual problems; not just covering up the symptoms. Thanks for posting!
Thank you for making this video. I have noticed myself becoming more and more irritatable and quick to anger. This will be something I will speak to my therapist about.
If someone's been through narcissistic abuse, and that contributed significantly to their depression, then I would say another person (the narcissist) absolutely played a role
Absolutely!!!
Thats me. I have past trauma but also married to a narc
My husband of 40 years and his 2 brothers were sexually abused by a Priest when they were little. My husband has always been angry and denies it even happened. His brothers say it was worse for my husband. We lost their brother to alcohol poisoning. The other one goes to counseling. I always wondered how my husband was so angry all the time and complaining all the time. Thank you for this video. It also explains why my Mom took everything out on me. She was diagnosed as a manic depressive paranoid scitzophrenic. Eventually being called bipolar.
Wishing you well. Sounds like a difficult situation. You sound like you are a very loving Wife.
One technique to resolve deep traumas, is to think " I used to be that person, i m not that person anymore. Now, I am healthier, wealthier and much more wiser". Plus the "Attitude of Gratitude" is a big help. Find at least 5 windows in ur day, where u count at least 5 things u r grateful for in ur life.
I recognised my anger for what it was. I had to work through it. Love your podcast. Xxx
Thank u so much for this video! It really opened my eyes and helped me to be more empathetic towards myself & others. The work u do is so important. Education on mental health has been elusive most of my life. I am so grateful for the things u have taught me. Such an important & helpful piece of the puzzle. ❤
Long COVID made my anger rear up so bad, I never used to get angry and now I can go from 0-100 instantly. I don't feel like myself, I hate it.
What is your trigger event...
finding out that anger was related to depression was so relieving because when I started to improve I kept thinking I was a horrible person because I used to have these anger attacks I simply couldn’t control no matter how hard I tried to push them away, and I always felt awfully guilty once I finally just exploded, but during it it was as if I almost was in the backseat watching it happen… I still feel like a monster but, at least now I can feel the difference and don’t get that anger anymore, and can also understand what provoked it and why its so important to keep those factors away
I get angry when I try doing things that I was able to do before and now it's very difficult as I get older hurts
Anger is a secondary emotion is what I learned at a very young age. great video! thanks for sharing❤✌
This is something that has truly been bothering me, and ik it’s not me but I hate how it makes me feel and think and act
This couldn’t come at a more perfect time for me. Thank you!
It’s funny. I have read dozens of books and hundreds of articles on psychology. Yet nothing sticks better than your videos!
Glad it was helpful!
I swing between externalizing and internalizing my depression then because I'll have a rage/anger attack and then internalize my pain and swing into the sad depressive phase. At my lowest part of it I experience passive suicidal ideation that I subconsciously fear I'll act on one day.
I try to tell my dad to stop getting defensive back at me if I release some of my anger or irritability from something around him because it only makes it worse. But sadly despite my own attempts to tell him not to jump onto the anger train with me, he still does it and it’s just not fair to me because I can’t seem to explain it to him properly that when he starts expressing his anger towards me he is actually making my situation/feelings even worse.
And he works in psychiatry for crying out loud!
I am laying in bed thinking of excuses for my clients as to why I can't meet them today. Depression makes me do this. I'm not lazy. I'm de energised.
Thanks!
This makes so much sense as to how I’ve been reacting since I had my son 3 years ago.
Me…inner anger…I definitely feel powerless.
My word, your words explain me!
Argghh!
I suffer from fibromyalgia
I need a good therapist!!!!
I need you…
Thanks for this! I have always thought that I had anger management issues but it is actually the manifestation of my depression.
In the last few years I have become very angry and irritable with little tolerance!! I hate this!!
most people won't help me, because my situation is SO complicated. The last one I went to just said, "I can't believe you haven't left the church", well, I'll go anywhere if someone will really do more good than harm, but I just have a LONG history of lack of support in life, despite reaching out time after time after time
I scream into my pillow. And I try not to hurt anyone physically of course but I do scream into my pillow. 😆 After these holidays I've been really overwhelmed. You don't want to know the details.. the laugh emoji wasn't really appropriate, but I have to try and smile because I don't feel the pain in my chest anymore after screaming in my pillow
I needed to hear this. Something to discuss at next doctor's appt. Medication helped (a lot) in the beginning, but a few years later it doesn't seem to help much at all. Angry and irritable seems to be my middle name. My mom always blames menopause or the full moon. LOL! Or sometimes she just thinks I'm mean. The tiniest things.....anger is always my first reaction. It's hard to live this way.
For what it's worth, if you haven't looked into perimenopause stuff...I was shocked, anyway! So many stories of women who reported that they started feeling like they were going crazy, that they were angry all the time and couldn't stand their spouse or their kids. And it's not that they actually hated their family, but fluctuating hormones were just making them angry almost all the time!
Anyway, I know you were joking and I don't mean to come in like a party-crashing nerd. 😂 I'm entering perimenopause myself, and there's surprisingly little that's known about it. All I knew about were hot flashes and irregular periods. The mental/emotional toll, as well as other symptoms, were a complete shock to me!
This is true to me. I have been depressed for a long time. I thought i got rid of it because of external experiences not internal. I understood that it's normal. It got so normal that it became chronic. My relationships with my husband didn't help it either. I knew the reason of depression.
Like oliver anthony was talking about. Too much overtime hours can cause depression and anger. That's my main problem. Sometimes it's just that constant working alone that causes the trouble. Has been with me.
sure everyone is going thru it but gotta keep on moving forward n having back flashes
This explained everything I’m going through
anger and irritability aren’t discussed much, if at all, in regards to depression Thank you!
Thank you Dr Emma. Just what I needed to hear. So well articulated and delivered. I am so grateful. I feel finally less alone
I’m glad that I found this video. Thank you.