At some point, I stopped overthinking because I realized if a plan is gonna go bad, it's gonna go bad anyways no matter how much thought was put into it.
"That which you already own is worth more to you than the possibility of something else" is a statement that just explains so much that I need to go for a walk.
Something something fight club. Things should never own you, most of us know this and would immediately agree but only some action safeguard against it. Ideas should never own you either, a lot of us who understand the above still fall victim to this one.
I think most people just get to a point in their lives where they realise that not choosing things out of worry of loss and failure is painfully stagnant, and so they end up choosing things despite crushing feelings of loss aversion because even that is better than knowing you are frozen in time and your life hasn't changed for years yet not doing anything about it.
That feeling usually stems from the anti-social narcissists in society. They see someone doing well and they must tear them down in order to try and feel better about themselves. Easier to tear down than to plan and build. People who want to create, not destroy, are the targets of these relentless people. And for some reason everyone wants to automatically side with the person throwing a tantrum like a petulant little toddler. People focus on your actions and behavior that "made" them throw the tantrum. Those actions can include smiling, being happy, helping others, a blessing befalls you, etc. People demand you not do these things or else the narc is offended and upset. Don't talk about what they are complaining about. Everyone knows how ridiculous it is. Just shut up and go along to get along. Don't you see the most excellent results this has had on society in recent decades?
100% true I lived in bliss for the first 30 years of my life, happy to take on the bare minimum amount of responsibility But on the inside it was like I was slowly dying because I wasn't living I wasn't putting myself out there It was the strangest thing and it was a long, gradual process that took years It was like the joy I found in my simple life was zapped from me, gradually To me it felt like God trying to save me from myself, trying to bring me to life I don't know how else to explain it
A computer computes, a calculator calculates, an automobile mobiles. Once you know what something is you can figure out what it does. Once you know that, you can figure out how to make it do the thing you want it to. Good luck man. Just think, you're halfway there.
Imagine using your "skill of overthinking" to come up with solutions in the future to the ONE thing that did actually go wrong, rather than overthinking at the beginning about the INFINITE things that could go wrong. That's how I'm trying to reframe it for myself... Trying to deploy my powerful, overthinking brain at the appropriate time in the system.
@@Travissaur the thing you own right now, is worth more to you, than potentially having more in the future, even though objectively it's less. If you don't get that watch the vid again
@@TravissaurIt means that what is guaranteed is worth more than risking and losing it all for a bigger reward. We have a similar one here on Brazil, but it says "flying" instead of "in the bush"
This saying seems to be saying having a bird in your hand is worth more than letting it go to potentially catch 2. Unless there is a sure fire way to catch 2 birds, this saying is definitely true and not affected by loss aversion in anyway
This reminds me of one of my strategies for getting out of a depressive state. First thing I do is check my Vitamin D, but after that, I work on turning outwards. I try to find ways I can lift someone else up, not just by being a hype queen, but by going and doing something physical for them. So I'll volunteer for a community cleanup, or I'll shovel snow for the neighbors, or something like that. It takes me out of my own head in a huge way.
When Dr. K was talking about looking around and seeing classmates who were carefree because you assumed they "choose [their major] right"... Idk how to describe it but it's like a small part of me healed, because I had always assumed that and felt awful for not being able to get it figured out like they did, but of course I didn't, I was so stressed out and avoided it! I also notice I tend to always feel like time is running out but if I'm able to extent the timeline in my thinking, I notice I'm immediately more relaxed and can think more clearly. I feel like I'm explaining this badly but basically, this video is really helpful and I'm gonna watch it again and again. Thank you HGGG!!! You guys are the best.
Don't feel bad about it, I always thought that the other's being carefree was because they don't pay that much attention on things and I can assure you, that thought alone does nothing, you just end up with a "so THEYR key to live well is to be carefree, but I cannot do that, so what should i do?" At least that's my experience, and DT.k is super useful as ever
I suffered from paralysis of analysis for the first 28 years of my life. I’ve always done the safe route. Safe degree, safe job and safe hometown. I just made the decision to move across the country with 2 friends to start a new path and this is something I never thought I would have done. Idk why I agreed to it but I am glad I did.
Mine more stems into socializing like telling someone I want to go on a date with them or that I like them or having to approach people which I don't do unless it's a rare moment where there is not a lot of people around or if they are around I have to know that only the person I'm speaking to can hear me.
Both, first of all sorry if my English is not the best, its not my first and main language... For example, our brains don't lack focus, our brains have issues balancing our focus, we have a difficulty balancing the scale in several aspects really, we are over achievers but we also procrastinate a lot, we are perfectionists but we are also very prone to make mistakes and have accidents, we can be very sweet and considerate and thoughtful, but we also can be assholes out of no where and without reason sometimes lol so you see...I would dare to say that our brains main problem is to be able to make somethings in a more balanced way, that's why we have EXECUTIVE FUNCTION difficulties lol 😅@@jameswilkerson4412
@@jameswilkerson4412 So because a person has ADHD they’re not allowed to be logical? Impulsiveness doesn’t mean you lack logic… In my case though I grew up playing chess in a family full of cyber security nerds so I learned to be analytical extremely early. I think that may have influenced me a lot. That’s just me though.
This video has made me feel so much better and I feel more equipped in dealing with high anxiety regarding certain events. The dread feels too real man. It’s the most daunting, crippling and suffocating feeling one can ever experience. So I’m glad of the simple message of “CHILL FIRST so you can make better decisions later”. Also to externalize the issue. That’s so good too. Holy crap. High anxiety can be so suffocating man.
The best thing I've ever been told (so far) is: "Why are you in a rush? You have the rest of your life to develop in [this thing]". It really changed my outlook on life and how I want to live.
@MolecularKangaroo maybe I missed some vital points. With age comes experience, calm, hopefully even wisdom. These are key aspects to what I was stressing about, and made me much more harmonious. I'm aware of the impact ageing has on cognition and physical prowess, but lots of other good things can come with it too.
@@nickwaters2802 nah, chill with the grindset. I'm still working towards my goals, I'm just not stressing out to the point of being suicidal about it. One size does not fit all.
Funny story, I opened up youtube to 'get my mind in the right place' for my assignment, your youtube video popped up and I read the title and I was like, you know what.... and started on the assignment instead, now I am watching this 'after'. You help in more ways than one DR K ;) you called my shit out when I needed it hahahhaa.
You'll never know if you don't find out. I spent YEARS saying I was going to start a business, but I never did...until I just did. I just went and did it. Stop overthinking things and just do it.
Love this comment! The hand wringing that goes on...the should I, shouldn't I, will he won't he. And then one day you wake up, and no fuss you just do that thing as if it's no harder than anything else. Our egos are the biggest trolls 😅
@@Xpectra32 Worse than what? Constantly being gripped with fear? Do you think you need to hit rock bottom to get the nerve to take a chance? Somewhere, there's bedrock. Somewhere, there's a point where you'd bottom out. If you ended up bottoming out, would you just keep settling for the absolute worst situation you could possibly be in, or would you finally be able to take a chance to make your life better? If you try something, and you fail, there's a really good chance things WON'T get worse. Chances are, the worst case scenario is you just end up right back where you are now. In which case, nothing will have changed--except the fact that you will have gained some knowledge. You will have learned what doesn't work, so next time, your chances of success would be even GREATER. The chances of success become greater every time you try, so just try. It might get worse initially. You might be right about that, but if you keep trying, it won't stay that way. The odds are in your favor. They really are. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR. NO EXCEPTION. That includes self-love. Go out and do your thing. I promise you'll be better for it!
The biggest fear for me is just falling into even more debt. I feel so paralyzed just by the student debt I have that even the possibility of something that could compound that further is just horrifying to me.
Dr K, you should include worksheets for your uploads that have similar resources as the guide. A worksheet in the description would invite people to “give this video a try” and act on what they just watched. A worksheet might say “practice nadi shudhi for 5 minutes then journal about the video topic”. I think there’s room for someone other than Dr.K to make such a thing, even. So like maybe a coach, mod, or someone could write up worksheets for us. I can’t say exactly what they would contain obviously but i think they’d be a good addition.
Yes please, I learned so many things and I'm looking for ways to keep the summary at a hand's reach to remind myself of this every single time I start overthinking and sabotaging my relationships
Anyone else always amazed at how conveniently timed some of these topics are? I swear, when I’m at my low points, there’s a video touching on a big subject in my life. I love Dr. K, thank you for providing such a logical approach to things that seem so uncontrollable and foreign. You remind me that I’m in control of this ship, the more I learn about it the better I’m able to navigate it. Have a good day everyone ❤️
I'd just like to mention once again (I've seen this commented multiple times atp) how many times Dr. K will post a video that aligns almost exactly with where my headspace is at, almost exactly when it is at that place. I haven't watched any of your content in over a week and yet, a few hours before this was posted, I came to the conclusion that my over-analysis was a major cause for a lot of my problems. The all of a sudden, a video on analysis paralysis... insane
I was talking to a family member who was telling me that I can't be so stuck on the fear of things BC I'll end up stagnant. This was a couple hours ago
I just realized that the reason I had analysis paralysis over what language and framework I'll invest my time in was because I'm a career switcher in his 40's and because of age I refused to see a time depth beyond a decade, and perceived the time I have for adjustments to be smaller. On top of that, I would sit to study like I'm being chased by wolves and that added stress to the equation, making me feel dumb for not learning fast enough.
Spot on, I have noticed how much easier it is for me to accomplish my daily goals that I set for myself when I get good night sleep, exercise, eat healthy. Everything that I have learned and integrated from Dr. K over the past few months have been an absolute improvement on my life. I feel extremely grateful for such a quality content He and his team provides the world with.
genuinely took notes on this video and was able to talk to the girl I had been paralyzed to talk to for weeks using the strategies and logic it presented
thanks dr. k! i've lately been stressing my head off about which route to choose in my life now that my college degree is done. i need to watch this 3-4 times more to really drill down your message in my agitated brain. especially the "be chill first and good things happen" thing that I simply cannot currently wrap my head around.
There is something D.K missed to mention here, one of the most important things, the scaling part of the issue, because yes there is scaling factors, your brain isn't always entirely risk averse nor entirely risk-tolerant so obviously, it's not always entirely wrong either. What i would first try to found out (and in the process basically debug my paralysis analysis level) is why do i think in the way i think about risk on a certain thing and how much of that concern is valid, this helps you understand yourself, your external and internal motivations as well as their value and help stabilize to a significant extend your ratio between risk averse and risk tolerance values, meanwhile it will also help build more critical thinking which will indirectly also aid you to keep yourself in check in that regard. It's like converting what you have as disadvantage back to an advantage.
It is truly like I was on autopilot and didn't know myself until I found this channel almost accidentally. I was searching for terms that could help me sleep at a different time than I am used to falling asleep, to be awake for a long road trip. From one video to another, YT finally brought me to this channel, and it was stuff I never thought to search for, because I was not self aware, nor did I ever think this type of knowledge existed, much less be accesible like this. I have learned so much about the way I behave from this channel. This subject here hits hard. (But other videos too.) I am truly grateful for this channel and the knowledge shared. Truly making a difference.
i recently ended a relationship and I was constantly paralyzed by that decision. I could never choose. I feel like my end goal for me and for her was to be healthier people and everytime something would go wrong, I would get really scared and my world would crash. My end goal, I think, was also a lifelong partner and deciding if she was that too. I kinda feel like these large goals and things I'm looking at in the future are stressing me out NOW though too.. I'm not sure I feel better after breaking up. I think it honestly feels worse and I do miss her a lot.. I just don't know if it could work or if it was good. We were hurting each other emotionally on accident a lot even though we both wanted to change and work at these things. We wanted to be a team but often turned enemy which would only amplify feelings of distrust, fear, etc. It all really sucks. She was probably the first person I dated that I really got to taste what it meant to really love another person flaws and all. To really experience someone else and share something special. Sheesh I'm going to stop and try to get some work done.
I'm going through a bad breakup with the person I loved so much and struggling with finding motivation to continue my life. Your video has helped me understand myself so much better and actually gave interesting knowledges to learn. I admire your journey and your intellect so much, Dr.K. Thank you for the content you have been creating and spreading on internet. Hope you know how much it means to us. Best wishes from Vietnam
My therapist and I couldn’t figure out what this was called so I named it “Hypochondria of the Future,” granted not using hypochondria correctly as it was based on rational possible issues in the future, she had me puzzle out that it was really irrational fear of the future. The future of tomorrow has unpredictable outcomes. Sure, some predictions that are based on pattern that can happen. A new war could start tomorrow but we don’t know that. That’s the part that bothers me, even kinda still. But knowing that I can make the proper steps to build my future is more reassuring than thinking about the future. Actions speak louder than thought. A thought disappears, an action is imprinted into history.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been significantly suffering from loss aversion and it’s taken me up to this point to figure out what’s stopping my brain from breaking out of the feedback loop. I am sure I am not the only one who feels the same profound sense of clarity after watching this video
I've noticed it can sometimes lock people moving forward in their life because they're overanalyzing every situation making it worse on themselves. I noticed what it was when I was married in my twenties. having been able to avoid it in most scenarios later in life.
I feel alright for the first time in months after listening to this. I recently lost my job and decided to use it as an opportunity to go back into art. I’ve been terrified and paralyzed and disappointed in myself for every day that I don’t put in the work I need to do to pursue my DREAMS. In 35 minutes, you were able to explain how my own fears develop and multiply in a way that I recognized and understood. I felt the moment I forgave myself. There’s so much more I want to say but I’ll just stick with thank you. Thank you.
A concept ive never heard of, didnt even know exsisted. Explains me so well. Thank you for making me aware to this! I love your channel man thank you so much for your wisdom!
You are now my favorite therapist, Dr. Alok.. I think you know how important what you're doing is. But i'd still say that I am very grateful for stumbling upon your content. Thank you so much, this is from my heart.
Thank You Dr.K this is a key iv been searching almost all my life for, its been thousands of hours of nonstop videos to find this one i dont have much to say but i just hope i use it to set myself free from these chains that bind my mind ty again love and respect.
Extending the endpoint is a point. While "being present" is great, the opposite can be a hell of a superpower. Being present gets you caught up in the small details, losses, and short-term effects. But by zooming out and blurring your vision, the moment-to-moment stressors lose their impact. Without a big picture, each step will invariably feel like the world.
I sleep 8 hours, I eat healthy, I work out, I try to meditate and have the most chill environment but the moment I put myself through making a decision I freak out. Even the technic of “getting out of my head” feels like running away from my problems, in the end of the day I need to sit back and decide.
@@Zix6ix omg this resonated with me so much, I’m healthy, I’m not depressed I work out and go on 3 hour walks. But the moment I sit down to do my business my body just gets overwhelmed. It’s so weird. I frustrate myself so much. Anyways any movement? Have you had any luck?
@@bcapgamez4005 unfortunately not, only setbacks. Just build the good habits until they become effortless and then build yourself on top of that with a lot of help from family or therapy.
This video came out exactly when I found myself stuck between two decisions, something that often happens to me, and now I have a name for this feeling, thank you so much for the tips I'll try to implement what you said and see if it will get better. Hope everything will turn out with the best outcome.
My "ah ha" moment was I was visiting my mom & grandma and decided to park on the street so they could back their cars out. My grandma says," why didn't you just park in the driveway?" A harmless question but I realized she does this ALL 👏 THE 👏 TIME👏 "Why don't you just/ why didn't you -" and even my mom does it sometimes too. So I have this lifelong monologue of "guh why didn't I xyx?" And it's only growing into the most mundane things like "should i take the stroller or the shopping cart?" And I'm bordering on just going home instead. It's insane! I need to firgive myself too for when I push through and DO make a decision and something DOES "go wrong" like I DO go shopping but I failed to get everything I needed because I didn't prepare myself with a list.
I resonate so much with this. It’s interesting that the words of those that mean the most to us in childhood (even if those people are otherwise loving & well-intentioned people) can-and usually do-become our own inner voice/critic in adulthood. I think the only way to go about this is make the decision swiftly and move on and let any “mistakes” just roll off your back. It’s all a part of life. We’re human so we’re going to mess up. A lot. Oh well! We could “what if” and “why didn’t I just…” all day, but we’d never get anything done with that programming lol
The timing is very good, my girlfriend is currently stuck not knowing if she is happy in the relationship. We have been separated spacialy for two weeks for her to collect her thoughts. Two days ago she said she wanted to try it and work on things but I am unsure of her feelings. I sent her this video today so she can watch it on her own. I think you describe her situation perfectly, I hope it will help her to make a good decision
I find that empty chair work with clients quickly exposes thia line of thinking. I'll place 2 empty chairs in front of the client and ask them to imagine the part of them that wants to make decision A in one chair and the part that wants to make decision B in the other chair. I'll ask the client to declare the stance of each part and then facilitate a decision between the parts. Usually there is one part that is fearful of pain, disappointment, loss, failure, etc.
I haven't finished the video yet, but I did recently come to an insight that just doing ANYTHING is better than not doing at all. Like, it's better to just go for any rush of energy and momentarily inspiration (even for chores, or things I haven't done before), than brush them aside because I don't feel like it or I'm afraid. Thanks to that I was slowly able to better my life from being a passive vegetable. It's just that I've come to know myself and the way I distract myself by countless thinking without choosing and doing anything, that in the end I end up just scrolling something. So, idk what happened, but I started to slowly overcome that. The point is really in stopping yourself from thinking too much. You had a first thought to do something? Stop listening to anything else your mind says, like "it'll take too much time, you don't have much time, you're not equipped nor are you skilled enough", and just do it. ESPECIALLY avoid something like "that's not priority. I should be reading a book/ doing a chore/ something not urgent but important". Because you know yourself, you won't do the priority either, so you may as well go for something less prioritized, but still different than scrolling or loafing around. I know it's an obvious thing, but I wasn't able to make myself understand this for so many years. Maybe someone will get it, too.
This is a really interesting video. It also explains why people flipping the decision making from fear of a mistake to a fear of a missed opportunity works in the brain. The loss aversion circuit is still activated but hacked to help push the outcome/action you want. Very clever.
This is one of your favorite videos so far and a major wake-up call for me personally. Actually feels like I'm unwrapping the enigma that used to be my brain. Thank you.
I did this instinctively in college. Struggling with my homework? I’d take a little notebook on a walk around campus, and once I’d feel less stressed out, ideas about the next steps would come to me. I wrote them down and went back to my homework and felt a lot better
Every single thing you mentioned in this video gave refrance to things in my life how time make things harder to part from, just like a bad relationship or drug misuse, we feel the grief twice but not the dopamine, making the tendency to find connection lean towards drugs that can give you that reward before you have it, I’ve got adhd and a few other things and this video had educated me and taught me more about my self, on top of that you’ve taught me the chemical cause of things I’m experiencing funnily enough giving me the knowledge I need to fight procrastination and have more good than lose
Your example with framing the end made me think of when I started playing videogames... I was in grad school writing my dissertation so I really had to set a time limit. I had something like 1-2 hours to play before I had to get ready for bed. Amazingly I stuck to it. I think because I knew I had that schedule every day. I could sleep do other things and return to it with a fresh mind. For a week or two I was stuck in one spot, but it was actually kinda good cause I'd get a bit bored with it not working out and by the time I was allowed to return to it I knew I'd probably have come up with a new thing to try.
I can't decide if I should watch this video or not. But in all seriousness, as others have said, this video couldn't have come at a better time. I believe Dr. K have a gift for being able to read the times we're in, and deliver lectures which really speak to how so many of us are feeling. That ability alone, is truly brilliant.
Im still amazed how great those videos are i mean not just simply throwing solutions but also explaining the technical aspects behind appearing problems. Also the fact that some of these videos complement each other so well is so amazing for instance the moment there was a mention about how we tend to appreciate things that we actually own more than other and there was given an example of a favorite mug, I instantly rememberered the mentality materiality concept from the video anout depression that can just ease this cognitive bias towards the mug and help us take the decision. The last thing i want to tell about is also the most confusing one for me and it's actually about the way of overcoming your analysis paralysis through providing your brain more information about the decision we have to make. What confuses me is a belief that the more information your brain acquire the harder it is to make a decision like if theres plenty of majors too choose from how is it supposed to help me choose the right one or same example when we are bout to buy some stuff electronics or sth. Maybe the case about this provided information is about more kind of technicalities and criteria of making a decision and not just given possibilities
This video could not have possibly come at a better time! This is something I have dealt with my entire life as a result of really bad ADHD/executive dysfunction, and it's heald me back so much. Sometimes you really need to just jump in head first.
NICE! I'm currently working through my Analysis Paralysis! Universe stays on point. Edit. Ketamine helped a lot, and its starting to make more sense why.
A favorite phrase of my family was “what’s the worst that can happen?” It was intended to encourage, but would send me into doom cycle. I’ve learned that some of my plans go horribly wrong, but not all, and everything is figureoutable. It all always works out in the end, and the scoreboard doesn’t mean anything until we quit or the clock runs out.
Reminds me a lot of Christian Doctrine: Worry not and be of good cheer(don't focus on negative), Keep eyes on Jesus and those in need(outside), and have an external perspective(end is so far away that any timeline you can concieve doesn't even scratch the surface). If I can spread those beliefs and practices to all parts of life, things would be amazing! I struggle, and have eternity to work that out, which helps me not beat myself up for that particular thing. But, other things feel urgent and I tend to beat myself up over them.
Amen, it honestly feels like a hack once you understand how to add your biblical principles with the knowledge of what's actually happening in our brains that keep us stuck. It helps so much once you have accurate stuff you want to pray for. In James there is a verse that says we don't receive because we're not asking correctly, like we may ask God to make our lives better when sometimes He wants to help us go through a process of change for our spiritual growth.
I really needed to hear this. Especially in my current situation. I kinda wish I was a different person, and i get stuck on the “why is it there”, and “what if it is the wrong decision”.
With ADHD this is common because of executive function caused by a weak VTA/dopaminergic reward system, weak prefrontal cortex and an overactive limbic system. All these problems compound each other. Stimulants boost dopamine and blood flow to the prefrontal cortex which then inhibits the limbic system and activates the reward system.
40Y struggling with life with a narc wife, this video has summed up my life over the last 10 years, so..... hopefully I can break this loop... But first i need my dose of gaming....
This video hit so close to heart. I was just deciding on when to watch this video for the past week 😂 (I had this in my watch later for more than a week already)
This video might've just saved me from dying in Don't Starve. I respawned back in camp mid-winter after a Walrus killed me, and had none of my basic survival stuff cause I didn't think that far ahead, but I did have what I needed to yeet myself into the next level. Rather than trying to survive winter which I almost certainly would've done without these principles, I took my bag of rare items (separate from my bag of basic survival stuff) and was like, "nah, let's just get going, it'll be summer there again."
"First things first": hierarchical and value based priorities need to take precedence over dopaminergic hedonistic whims. "One in the hand is worth two in the bush": We value what we have here and now today more than what we potentially could have.
In art, loss aversion causes problems because years later, we can definitely see the mistakes by holding onto crap we dgaf about. You kinda gotta just go for the stuff that's without a problem regardless of how much or how little effort is spent.
Are there any other content creators like him that focus on women? I have many of the issues here, but don’t fit in to the community as I’m older and female and was late diagnosed ADD and am absolutely lost and depressed.
Random but life can be right and wrong at the same time. The fact that I did good living(peaked) in “present” the last year of my high school but with a wrong environment is a lesson I had to chew thoroughly and swallow. Life just aligns naturally of what we feel inside while the interactions outside test you, then intertwined with what you allow and pass by.
Thank you for the perfect timing of this video! I literally was having analysis paralysis about selling everything I own and moving. It makes sense why I feel some kind of way about “losing” everything I’ve built up to this point. But obviously I know if I let go of everything, I will have better opportunities elsewhere. This makes me feel a lot better! Thanks Dr. K and everyone in the community for explaining! ❤
On 2023, at so many diverse occasions, my brains used it’s ingéniosity to make any little problem bigger, have it steroid and this made me stressed and in a state where I can make it really bigger in life. When I choosed to calm my brain and be more mature at handling problems, I realized how much they are never that big.
I'm currently experiencing this paralysis right now. I'm trying to jump into my own business- i have the knowledge and experience, but I'm sitting here "what if...?"-ing myself to death and unable to act... i need to figure this out.
Was something like that and I changed "what if" to "what if ... let's find out" it's such a relief in each choice. What if this girl doesn't like me, let's find out. And she ended up becoming my wife lol
This is probably the best TRADING PSYCHOLOGY video I’ve seen in a long time. I do face Analysis Paralysis when trading even though I have an edge I make stupid execution mistakes
Great vid Dr K. Learned a lot!! Im definitely interoceptive and i suffer a lot because of my loss aversion. Ironically the paralysis leads me to objectively bad decisions and it becomes a sort of self fulfilling prophecy that is negative. Im trying to change my thought patterns. This video was very helpful.
I have been watching your videos for the past few months. Helps expand my perspective, knowledge and understanding. Your videos have helped me tremendously in thoughts and feelings I was having in my life. Helped me make sense of things. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do
Having ADHD and a high self esteem means I don't have this loss aversion at all, but it STILL doesn't matter 😂 "I gotta finish editing that video. I know it'll take like 20 minutes considering where I left it, and I know I'm amazing at this and there's a 0% chance I'll screw it up... Nope, my body still won't move, I'll do it some day probably 💀"
I think why i like Dr K so much is because he doesnt ever assume that we are too stupid or ignorant to understand something. He speaks to us about what it is, how it works, and he does into detail and positively assumes that we will understand. I have struggled with therapy in the past due to my special interest being in psychology (im autistic), i studied (sort of still do) for years. My issue is When i go to a therapist, they speak to me as if its my first time on earth. They assume that i know nothing, and they dont believe me when i say 'no im very familiar i understand' so they spend the first 6 weeks educating me on things i already know, instead of helping me put those things into motion, or to feel those things on a deeper level, or to actually identify the parts of me that need healing. Its a very frustrating experience. I cant open up when they are explaining cbt to me despite me having used cbt techniques for the last 8 years. My best experiences have been with Doctors or psychiatrists, because they tend to be quite excited that someone has actually shown interest and are present ready to hear and take on advice. Its really difficult for me to find an irl therapist likr Dr. K, who wont assume that im incapable of understanding, and wont treat me like im rude when i ask questions in detail. When i seek detail, im not being rude, im being open and honest and if you, like Dr K respond well to that as a therapist, im an open book. If not, i just cannot ever feel comfortable enough to want to open up and get to the more serious, ugly parts. My issue is i want closeness with others but im so scared of loss that i dont even try. Im scared to lose my alone time, my isolation, that I've built up over the years. Im scared to lose my peace if i let others in. In reality thr 'peace' i have exists within a vacuum, and it will be better, stronger, more fruitful peace when i let others in. ❤
Big dawg I was struggling with submitting my application for NYU’s I/O psych grad program and this video would’ve been such a big help! Seriously, if I had this about a month ago I genuinely believe 80% of my stress would’ve been gone. Thanks for the video doc :)
This really speaks out to me right now. I'm evaluating a job offer and everyone tells me it's a great opportunity, but I can't stop thinking about what I could miss out if I leave my current workplace.
Brilliant! I love the way Dr K integrates other disciplines into these videos. This system's approach may really help me out and I understand it having been in engineering school at one point in my life! I couldn't understand why I couldn't hold onto the plusses in contemplating certain decisions but now I do. I will rethink my process for upcoming decisions using Dr Ks ideas from this video. Thank you Dr K.
1. Change the order of thinking of actions...the first thing you think about while considering options, is the one with higher possibility of you acting on it.
I spent years being afraid of the "worst possible outcome". Turned it around into "no matter what happens, it can be solved". Feels so much better.
thank you for this!
except homelessness
@@CM-wt3vn
And death
But it's not true. At all.
@@Dolrittocan't be true if you don't believe it's true tbf
I'm analyzing the video's title and thumbnail to decide if I'll watch it now, later, or not at all. Will keep you guys updated
Head ass 🤣
Dawg
😶😶
Nah that's real.asf
Sooo... life is basically the theme song for that one MadTV skit?
Lowered expectaaaaaaations?
Anyone else have trouble swallowing this pill?
Mark Twain said "Most of the things that troubled me in my life never actually happened."
Damn he had such a way with words. He has so many great quotes like this.
Lucky him! Most things that troubled me actually happen. Why is that?
@@Dave_of_Mordorskill issue (:
@@doomertube7050 what are these skills and how can I get them?
That sentence amuses and stings.
“There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
What's that a quote from?
@@InvertedGoblinSeneca
Sounds like buddhas arrow
@@roripantsusimilar principles
Spot on
At some point, I stopped overthinking because I realized if a plan is gonna go bad, it's gonna go bad anyways no matter how much thought was put into it.
Your sona is so cute!
@@rmt3589 Aww Thankies!!! ˃ᴗ˂
Cool seeing another furry on here! Furries watch Dr K 👏👏 unite
Yeah. Unless there is physical risk, it's often better just to jump into the pool.
Adapt, improvise, overcome.
"That which you already own is worth more to you than the possibility of something else" is a statement that just explains so much that I need to go for a walk.
That’s what I felt too… soooo interesting and ANNOYING as well… 😳
good job externalizing lol.
Something something fight club.
Things should never own you, most of us know this and would immediately agree but only some action safeguard against it.
Ideas should never own you either, a lot of us who understand the above still fall victim to this one.
I think most people just get to a point in their lives where they realise that not choosing things out of worry of loss and failure is painfully stagnant, and so they end up choosing things despite crushing feelings of loss aversion because even that is better than knowing you are frozen in time and your life hasn't changed for years yet not doing anything about it.
niceusername bro 😂
@@buddingscientist3044 thanks bro, it's pretty original isn't it?
That feeling usually stems from the anti-social narcissists in society. They see someone doing well and they must tear them down in order to try and feel better about themselves. Easier to tear down than to plan and build. People who want to create, not destroy, are the targets of these relentless people. And for some reason everyone wants to automatically side with the person throwing a tantrum like a petulant little toddler.
People focus on your actions and behavior that "made" them throw the tantrum. Those actions can include smiling, being happy, helping others, a blessing befalls you, etc. People demand you not do these things or else the narc is offended and upset. Don't talk about what they are complaining about. Everyone knows how ridiculous it is. Just shut up and go along to get along. Don't you see the most excellent results this has had on society in recent decades?
Stagnation and "frozen in time" is my biggest fear haha, totally agree.
100% true
I lived in bliss for the first 30 years of my life, happy to take on the bare minimum amount of responsibility
But on the inside it was like I was slowly dying because I wasn't living
I wasn't putting myself out there
It was the strangest thing and it was a long, gradual process that took years
It was like the joy I found in my simple life was zapped from me, gradually
To me it felt like God trying to save me from myself, trying to bring me to life
I don't know how else to explain it
After dozens of failed Applications and Interviews this feels like a punch in the gut but it explains things
Keep grinding! You got this. Good luck. Speak positivity into existence
Exact same situation as you mate!
CareerVidz on YT helped me w interviews. Hope this helps
That is normal in this day and age unless youre in the right situation
A computer computes, a calculator calculates, an automobile mobiles.
Once you know what something is you can figure out what it does. Once you know that, you can figure out how to make it do the thing you want it to.
Good luck man. Just think, you're halfway there.
Imagine using your "skill of overthinking" to come up with solutions in the future to the ONE thing that did actually go wrong, rather than overthinking at the beginning about the INFINITE things that could go wrong.
That's how I'm trying to reframe it for myself... Trying to deploy my powerful, overthinking brain at the appropriate time in the system.
That’s pretty nice
I don't understand
Study engineering 😂😂 I am one and in job I am doing great but in my personal life is a mess..at least I feel like I have a meaning 😅😅
Wtf. That is called procrastinating your overthinking to solve analysis paralysis
Lol
It puts a whole new meaning to "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". They even got the multiplication aspect of loss aversion right.
I’m 31 and I still don’t get what that saying means. 😅
@@Travissaur the thing you own right now, is worth more to you, than potentially having more in the future, even though objectively it's less. If you don't get that watch the vid again
@@TravissaurIt means that what is guaranteed is worth more than risking and losing it all for a bigger reward. We have a similar one here on Brazil, but it says "flying" instead of "in the bush"
🤯
This saying seems to be saying having a bird in your hand is worth more than letting it go to potentially catch 2.
Unless there is a sure fire way to catch 2 birds, this saying is definitely true and not affected by loss aversion in anyway
This reminds me of one of my strategies for getting out of a depressive state. First thing I do is check my Vitamin D, but after that, I work on turning outwards. I try to find ways I can lift someone else up, not just by being a hype queen, but by going and doing something physical for them. So I'll volunteer for a community cleanup, or I'll shovel snow for the neighbors, or something like that. It takes me out of my own head in a huge way.
What a fantastic strategy. I think it was CS Lewis who said that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
That sounds like an awesome privilege. Intention you acted on. That's hot!
"LOVE ONE ANOTHER"
💞🌎🕊 🆚️ 🏴☠️🤺🏴☠️
The timings is so good that im starting to fear dr.k
x2
x4
x6
x8
x10
When Dr. K was talking about looking around and seeing classmates who were carefree because you assumed they "choose [their major] right"... Idk how to describe it but it's like a small part of me healed, because I had always assumed that and felt awful for not being able to get it figured out like they did, but of course I didn't, I was so stressed out and avoided it! I also notice I tend to always feel like time is running out but if I'm able to extent the timeline in my thinking, I notice I'm immediately more relaxed and can think more clearly. I feel like I'm explaining this badly but basically, this video is really helpful and I'm gonna watch it again and again. Thank you HGGG!!! You guys are the best.
Not explaining badly at all. Your perspective is actually very straightforward and relatable. Thanks for sharing.
Don't feel bad about it, I always thought that the other's being carefree was because they don't pay that much attention on things and I can assure you, that thought alone does nothing, you just end up with a "so THEYR key to live well is to be carefree, but I cannot do that, so what should i do?"
At least that's my experience, and DT.k is super useful as ever
the aoe healing is woking
I suffered from paralysis of analysis for the first 28 years of my life. I’ve always done the safe route. Safe degree, safe job and safe hometown.
I just made the decision to move across the country with 2 friends to start a new path and this is something I never thought I would have done. Idk why I agreed to it but I am glad I did.
Fire bro
i wish you the very best of luck
Wish you all the best!
Maybe your friends calmed your amygdala? Or you just grew and got wiser? Either way: Congrats!
Mine more stems into socializing like telling someone I want to go on a date with them or that I like them or having to approach people which I don't do unless it's a rare moment where there is not a lot of people around or if they are around I have to know that only the person I'm speaking to can hear me.
As someone with ADHD & who is very analytical I STRUGGLE with this. Thanks for making these videos they are so helpful ❤
I thought ADHD made someone impulsive, not over-analytical?
Both, first of all sorry if my English is not the best, its not my first and main language...
For example, our brains don't lack focus, our brains have issues balancing our focus, we have a difficulty balancing the scale in several aspects really, we are over achievers but we also procrastinate a lot, we are perfectionists but we are also very prone to make mistakes and have accidents, we can be very sweet and considerate and thoughtful, but we also can be assholes out of no where and without reason sometimes lol so you see...I would dare to say that our brains main problem is to be able to make somethings in a more balanced way, that's why we have EXECUTIVE FUNCTION difficulties lol 😅@@jameswilkerson4412
@@jameswilkerson4412 both :D
You overthink stuff and still act impulsive in the end.
Same, I'm an overthinker with ADHD :) Not the best combo
@@jameswilkerson4412 So because a person has ADHD they’re not allowed to be logical? Impulsiveness doesn’t mean you lack logic… In my case though I grew up playing chess in a family full of cyber security nerds so I learned to be analytical extremely early. I think that may have influenced me a lot. That’s just me though.
This video has made me feel so much better and I feel more equipped in dealing with high anxiety regarding certain events. The dread feels too real man. It’s the most daunting, crippling and suffocating feeling one can ever experience. So I’m glad of the simple message of “CHILL FIRST so you can make better decisions later”. Also to externalize the issue. That’s so good too. Holy crap. High anxiety can be so suffocating man.
same .. especially feeling stuck and constantly being stuck cos u have many options laid out in front of you. not a nice feeling
The best thing I've ever been told (so far) is: "Why are you in a rush? You have the rest of your life to develop in [this thing]". It really changed my outlook on life and how I want to live.
Google what ageing is
@@MolecularKangaroo If you aren't trying to live your one and only life to the fullest, are you truly alive?
@MolecularKangaroo maybe I missed some vital points. With age comes experience, calm, hopefully even wisdom. These are key aspects to what I was stressing about, and made me much more harmonious. I'm aware of the impact ageing has on cognition and physical prowess, but lots of other good things can come with it too.
@@nickwaters2802 nah, chill with the grindset. I'm still working towards my goals, I'm just not stressing out to the point of being suicidal about it. One size does not fit all.
Funny story, I opened up youtube to 'get my mind in the right place' for my assignment, your youtube video popped up and I read the title and I was like, you know what.... and started on the assignment instead, now I am watching this 'after'. You help in more ways than one DR K ;) you called my shit out when I needed it hahahhaa.
"I can try this again" best narrative to curb perfectionism.
You'll never know if you don't find out. I spent YEARS saying I was going to start a business, but I never did...until I just did. I just went and did it. Stop overthinking things and just do it.
I know but i cant start it it!. The fear of failing the chances of being in a worse situation just freezes me cold
Love this comment! The hand wringing that goes on...the should I, shouldn't I, will he won't he. And then one day you wake up, and no fuss you just do that thing as if it's no harder than anything else. Our egos are the biggest trolls 😅
@@Xpectra32 Worse than what? Constantly being gripped with fear? Do you think you need to hit rock bottom to get the nerve to take a chance? Somewhere, there's bedrock. Somewhere, there's a point where you'd bottom out. If you ended up bottoming out, would you just keep settling for the absolute worst situation you could possibly be in, or would you finally be able to take a chance to make your life better? If you try something, and you fail, there's a really good chance things WON'T get worse. Chances are, the worst case scenario is you just end up right back where you are now. In which case, nothing will have changed--except the fact that you will have gained some knowledge. You will have learned what doesn't work, so next time, your chances of success would be even GREATER. The chances of success become greater every time you try, so just try. It might get worse initially. You might be right about that, but if you keep trying, it won't stay that way. The odds are in your favor. They really are. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR. NO EXCEPTION. That includes self-love. Go out and do your thing. I promise you'll be better for it!
The biggest fear for me is just falling into even more debt. I feel so paralyzed just by the student debt I have that even the possibility of something that could compound that further is just horrifying to me.
How's the business Jsmith?
how is he always so real and on time with these istg ive been dying from this lately
Dr K drops these with immaculate timing 😄
Every single time
Yup.
Dr K, you should include worksheets for your uploads that have similar resources as the guide. A worksheet in the description would invite people to “give this video a try” and act on what they just watched.
A worksheet might say “practice nadi shudhi for 5 minutes then journal about the video topic”. I think there’s room for someone other than Dr.K to make such a thing, even. So like maybe a coach, mod, or someone could write up worksheets for us. I can’t say exactly what they would contain obviously but i think they’d be a good addition.
Up
Yes please, I learned so many things and I'm looking for ways to keep the summary at a hand's reach to remind myself of this every single time I start overthinking and sabotaging my relationships
Nice idea
Anyone else always amazed at how conveniently timed some of these topics are? I swear, when I’m at my low points, there’s a video touching on a big subject in my life. I love Dr. K, thank you for providing such a logical approach to things that seem so uncontrollable and foreign. You remind me that I’m in control of this ship, the more I learn about it the better I’m able to navigate it. Have a good day everyone ❤️
I'd just like to mention once again (I've seen this commented multiple times atp) how many times Dr. K will post a video that aligns almost exactly with where my headspace is at, almost exactly when it is at that place. I haven't watched any of your content in over a week and yet, a few hours before this was posted, I came to the conclusion that my over-analysis was a major cause for a lot of my problems. The all of a sudden, a video on analysis paralysis... insane
I was talking to a family member who was telling me that I can't be so stuck on the fear of things BC I'll end up stagnant. This was a couple hours ago
I just realized that the reason I had analysis paralysis over what language and framework I'll invest my time in was because I'm a career switcher in his 40's and because of age I refused to see a time depth beyond a decade, and perceived the time I have for adjustments to be smaller. On top of that, I would sit to study like I'm being chased by wolves and that added stress to the equation, making me feel dumb for not learning fast enough.
Spot on, I have noticed how much easier it is for me to accomplish my daily goals that I set for myself when I get good night sleep, exercise, eat healthy. Everything that I have learned and integrated from Dr. K over the past few months have been an absolute improvement on my life. I feel extremely grateful for such a quality content He and his team provides the world with.
genuinely took notes on this video and was able to talk to the girl I had been paralyzed to talk to for weeks using the strategies and logic it presented
thanks dr. k! i've lately been stressing my head off about which route to choose in my life now that my college degree is done. i need to watch this 3-4 times more to really drill down your message in my agitated brain. especially the "be chill first and good things happen" thing that I simply cannot currently wrap my head around.
the intermixed losses made it "click" for me. my mind is blown. its all i needed to hear
There is something D.K missed to mention here, one of the most important things, the scaling part of the issue, because yes there is scaling factors, your brain isn't always entirely risk averse nor entirely risk-tolerant so obviously, it's not always entirely wrong either.
What i would first try to found out (and in the process basically debug my paralysis analysis level) is why do i think in the way i think about risk on a certain thing and how much of that concern is valid, this helps you understand yourself, your external and internal motivations as well as their value and help stabilize to a significant extend your ratio between risk averse and risk tolerance values, meanwhile it will also help build more critical thinking which will indirectly also aid you to keep yourself in check in that regard.
It's like converting what you have as disadvantage back to an advantage.
It is truly like I was on autopilot and didn't know myself until I found this channel almost accidentally.
I was searching for terms that could help me sleep at a different time than I am used to falling asleep, to be awake for a long road trip.
From one video to another, YT finally brought me to this channel, and it was stuff I never thought to search for, because I was not self aware, nor did I ever think this type of knowledge existed, much less be accesible like this.
I have learned so much about the way I behave from this channel. This subject here hits hard. (But other videos too.)
I am truly grateful for this channel and the knowledge shared. Truly making a difference.
i recently ended a relationship and I was constantly paralyzed by that decision. I could never choose. I feel like my end goal for me and for her was to be healthier people and everytime something would go wrong, I would get really scared and my world would crash. My end goal, I think, was also a lifelong partner and deciding if she was that too. I kinda feel like these large goals and things I'm looking at in the future are stressing me out NOW though too.. I'm not sure I feel better after breaking up. I think it honestly feels worse and I do miss her a lot.. I just don't know if it could work or if it was good. We were hurting each other emotionally on accident a lot even though we both wanted to change and work at these things. We wanted to be a team but often turned enemy which would only amplify feelings of distrust, fear, etc. It all really sucks. She was probably the first person I dated that I really got to taste what it meant to really love another person flaws and all. To really experience someone else and share something special.
Sheesh I'm going to stop and try to get some work done.
I did the same bruh. She wanted to get married and I wasn't sure as she had some very abusive traits that reminded me of my mom... I couldn't.
I'm going through a bad breakup with the person I loved so much and struggling with finding motivation to continue my life. Your video has helped me understand myself so much better and actually gave interesting knowledges to learn. I admire your journey and your intellect so much, Dr.K. Thank you for the content you have been creating and spreading on internet. Hope you know how much it means to us.
Best wishes from Vietnam
My therapist and I couldn’t figure out what this was called so I named it “Hypochondria of the Future,” granted not using hypochondria correctly as it was based on rational possible issues in the future, she had me puzzle out that it was really irrational fear of the future. The future of tomorrow has unpredictable outcomes. Sure, some predictions that are based on pattern that can happen. A new war could start tomorrow but we don’t know that. That’s the part that bothers me, even kinda still. But knowing that I can make the proper steps to build my future is more reassuring than thinking about the future. Actions speak louder than thought. A thought disappears, an action is imprinted into history.
The future is formed by the present
This is so eye opening! Thank you Dr. K
my grandpa had an expression when building something that is frustrating. “clean your tools” Works for me every time.
what did he mean by that?
@@Trauma_Clown come back to the job with a refreshed look, when you’re not frustrated.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been significantly suffering from loss aversion and it’s taken me up to this point to figure out what’s stopping my brain from breaking out of the feedback loop.
I am sure I am not the only one who feels the same profound sense of clarity after watching this video
I've noticed it can sometimes lock people moving forward in their life because they're overanalyzing every situation making it worse on themselves. I noticed what it was when I was married in my twenties. having been able to avoid it in most scenarios later in life.
I feel alright for the first time in months after listening to this. I recently lost my job and decided to use it as an opportunity to go back into art. I’ve been terrified and paralyzed and disappointed in myself for every day that I don’t put in the work I need to do to pursue my DREAMS.
In 35 minutes, you were able to explain how my own fears develop and multiply in a way that I recognized and understood. I felt the moment I forgave myself. There’s so much more I want to say but I’ll just stick with thank you. Thank you.
A concept ive never heard of, didnt even know exsisted. Explains me so well. Thank you for making me aware to this!
I love your channel man thank you so much for your wisdom!
You are now my favorite therapist, Dr. Alok.. I think you know how important what you're doing is. But i'd still say that I am very grateful for stumbling upon your content. Thank you so much, this is from my heart.
Another perfectly timed video, thank you Dr. K
Thank You Dr.K this is a key iv been searching almost all my life for, its been thousands of hours of nonstop videos to find this one i dont have much to say but i just hope i use it to set myself free from these chains that bind my mind ty again love and respect.
This was surprisingly useful. Especially the end point talk and the externalizing my focus. Good concreet practical information.
Extending the endpoint is a point.
While "being present" is great, the opposite can be a hell of a superpower.
Being present gets you caught up in the small details, losses, and short-term effects.
But by zooming out and blurring your vision, the moment-to-moment stressors lose their impact.
Without a big picture, each step will invariably feel like the world.
I sleep 8 hours, I eat healthy, I work out, I try to meditate and have the most chill environment but the moment I put myself through making a decision I freak out.
Even the technic of “getting out of my head” feels like running away from my problems, in the end of the day I need to sit back and decide.
@@Zix6ix omg this resonated with me so much, I’m healthy, I’m not depressed I work out and go on 3 hour walks. But the moment I sit down to do my business my body just gets overwhelmed. It’s so weird. I frustrate myself so much. Anyways any movement? Have you had any luck?
@@bcapgamez4005 unfortunately not, only setbacks. Just build the good habits until they become effortless and then build yourself on top of that with a lot of help from family or therapy.
This video came out exactly when I found myself stuck between two decisions, something that often happens to me, and now I have a name for this feeling, thank you so much for the tips I'll try to implement what you said and see if it will get better. Hope everything will turn out with the best outcome.
My "ah ha" moment was I was visiting my mom & grandma and decided to park on the street so they could back their cars out. My grandma says," why didn't you just park in the driveway?" A harmless question but I realized she does this ALL 👏 THE 👏 TIME👏 "Why don't you just/ why didn't you -" and even my mom does it sometimes too. So I have this lifelong monologue of "guh why didn't I xyx?" And it's only growing into the most mundane things like "should i take the stroller or the shopping cart?" And I'm bordering on just going home instead. It's insane! I need to firgive myself too for when I push through and DO make a decision and something DOES "go wrong" like I DO go shopping but I failed to get everything I needed because I didn't prepare myself with a list.
I resonate so much with this. It’s interesting that the words of those that mean the most to us in childhood (even if those people are otherwise loving & well-intentioned people) can-and usually do-become our own inner voice/critic in adulthood.
I think the only way to go about this is make the decision swiftly and move on and let any “mistakes” just roll off your back. It’s all a part of life. We’re human so we’re going to mess up. A lot. Oh well! We could “what if” and “why didn’t I just…” all day, but we’d never get anything done with that programming lol
The timing is very good, my girlfriend is currently stuck not knowing if she is happy in the relationship. We have been separated spacialy for two weeks for her to collect her thoughts. Two days ago she said she wanted to try it and work on things but I am unsure of her feelings. I sent her this video today so she can watch it on her own. I think you describe her situation perfectly, I hope it will help her to make a good decision
I find that empty chair work with clients quickly exposes thia line of thinking. I'll place 2 empty chairs in front of the client and ask them to imagine the part of them that wants to make decision A in one chair and the part that wants to make decision B in the other chair. I'll ask the client to declare the stance of each part and then facilitate a decision between the parts. Usually there is one part that is fearful of pain, disappointment, loss, failure, etc.
I haven't finished the video yet, but I did recently come to an insight that just doing ANYTHING is better than not doing at all.
Like, it's better to just go for any rush of energy and momentarily inspiration (even for chores, or things I haven't done before), than brush them aside because I don't feel like it or I'm afraid. Thanks to that I was slowly able to better my life from being a passive vegetable.
It's just that I've come to know myself and the way I distract myself by countless thinking without choosing and doing anything, that in the end I end up just scrolling something. So, idk what happened, but I started to slowly overcome that.
The point is really in stopping yourself from thinking too much. You had a first thought to do something? Stop listening to anything else your mind says, like "it'll take too much time, you don't have much time, you're not equipped nor are you skilled enough", and just do it. ESPECIALLY avoid something like "that's not priority. I should be reading a book/ doing a chore/ something not urgent but important". Because you know yourself, you won't do the priority either, so you may as well go for something less prioritized, but still different than scrolling or loafing around.
I know it's an obvious thing, but I wasn't able to make myself understand this for so many years. Maybe someone will get it, too.
@@lenott7480 our family has a saying for that: Right, wrong, or indifferent, make a decision! It helps me immensely in a moment.
This is a really interesting video. It also explains why people flipping the decision making from fear of a mistake to a fear of a missed opportunity works in the brain. The loss aversion circuit is still activated but hacked to help push the outcome/action you want. Very clever.
Already done with analysis paralysis. It have been covering my fear of an empty life - without a life goal, work direction and friends... :/
This is one of your favorite videos so far and a major wake-up call for me personally. Actually feels like I'm unwrapping the enigma that used to be my brain. Thank you.
Why does "Analysis paralysis" feels like a Radiohead song?
Because we're a bunch of paranoid androids...
I did this instinctively in college. Struggling with my homework? I’d take a little notebook on a walk around campus, and once I’d feel less stressed out, ideas about the next steps would come to me. I wrote them down and went back to my homework and felt a lot better
Somehow Dr. K drops the perfect video for me just when i need it
Every single thing you mentioned in this video gave refrance to things in my life how time make things harder to part from, just like a bad relationship or drug misuse, we feel the grief twice but not the dopamine, making the tendency to find connection lean towards drugs that can give you that reward before you have it, I’ve got adhd and a few other things and this video had educated me and taught me more about my self, on top of that you’ve taught me the chemical cause of things I’m experiencing funnily enough giving me the knowledge I need to fight procrastination and have more good than lose
I hit this after not being able to figure out what to watch. Felt it appropriate.
Your example with framing the end made me think of when I started playing videogames... I was in grad school writing my dissertation so I really had to set a time limit. I had something like 1-2 hours to play before I had to get ready for bed. Amazingly I stuck to it. I think because I knew I had that schedule every day. I could sleep do other things and return to it with a fresh mind. For a week or two I was stuck in one spot, but it was actually kinda good cause I'd get a bit bored with it not working out and by the time I was allowed to return to it I knew I'd probably have come up with a new thing to try.
I can't decide if I should watch this video or not.
But in all seriousness, as others have said, this video couldn't have come at a better time. I believe Dr. K have a gift for being able to read the times we're in, and deliver lectures which really speak to how so many of us are feeling. That ability alone, is truly brilliant.
Im still amazed how great those videos are i mean not just simply throwing solutions but also explaining the technical aspects behind appearing problems. Also the fact that some of these videos complement each other so well is so amazing for instance the moment there was a mention about how we tend to appreciate things that we actually own more than other and there was given an example of a favorite mug, I instantly rememberered the mentality materiality concept from the video anout depression that can just ease this cognitive bias towards the mug and help us take the decision. The last thing i want to tell about is also the most confusing one for me and it's actually about the way of overcoming your analysis paralysis through providing your brain more information about the decision we have to make. What confuses me is a belief that the more information your brain acquire the harder it is to make a decision like if theres plenty of majors too choose from how is it supposed to help me choose the right one or same example when we are bout to buy some stuff electronics or sth. Maybe the case about this provided information is about more kind of technicalities and criteria of making a decision and not just given possibilities
Me, looking at my brain: "Dude wtf"
This video could not have possibly come at a better time! This is something I have dealt with my entire life as a result of really bad ADHD/executive dysfunction, and it's heald me back so much. Sometimes you really need to just jump in head first.
NICE! I'm currently working through my Analysis Paralysis! Universe stays on point.
Edit. Ketamine helped a lot, and its starting to make more sense why.
A favorite phrase of my family was “what’s the worst that can happen?” It was intended to encourage, but would send me into doom cycle. I’ve learned that some of my plans go horribly wrong, but not all, and everything is figureoutable. It all always works out in the end, and the scoreboard doesn’t mean anything until we quit or the clock runs out.
Reminds me a lot of Christian Doctrine: Worry not and be of good cheer(don't focus on negative), Keep eyes on Jesus and those in need(outside), and have an external perspective(end is so far away that any timeline you can concieve doesn't even scratch the surface).
If I can spread those beliefs and practices to all parts of life, things would be amazing!
I struggle, and have eternity to work that out, which helps me not beat myself up for that particular thing. But, other things feel urgent and I tend to beat myself up over them.
“Consider the lilies”
Wow, I love this!!!
Amen, it honestly feels like a hack once you understand how to add your biblical principles with the knowledge of what's actually happening in our brains that keep us stuck. It helps so much once you have accurate stuff you want to pray for. In James there is a verse that says we don't receive because we're not asking correctly, like we may ask God to make our lives better when sometimes He wants to help us go through a process of change for our spiritual growth.
Saving this
I really needed to hear this.
Especially in my current situation.
I kinda wish I was a different person, and i get stuck on the “why is it there”, and “what if it is the wrong decision”.
With ADHD this is common because of executive function caused by a weak VTA/dopaminergic reward system, weak prefrontal cortex and an overactive limbic system. All these problems compound each other. Stimulants boost dopamine and blood flow to the prefrontal cortex which then inhibits the limbic system and activates the reward system.
God... this is one of the most real videos you've made. So much of my life is reflected here, as well as many of my own realizations. Powerful stuff.
40Y struggling with life with a narc wife, this video has summed up my life over the last 10 years, so..... hopefully I can break this loop... But first i need my dose of gaming....
This video hit so close to heart. I was just deciding on when to watch this video for the past week 😂
(I had this in my watch later for more than a week already)
This video might've just saved me from dying in Don't Starve. I respawned back in camp mid-winter after a Walrus killed me, and had none of my basic survival stuff cause I didn't think that far ahead, but I did have what I needed to yeet myself into the next level. Rather than trying to survive winter which I almost certainly would've done without these principles, I took my bag of rare items (separate from my bag of basic survival stuff) and was like, "nah, let's just get going, it'll be summer there again."
"First things first": hierarchical and value based priorities need to take precedence over dopaminergic hedonistic whims.
"One in the hand is worth two in the bush": We value what we have here and now today more than what we potentially could have.
This is quickly becoming my favorite channel
In art, loss aversion causes problems because years later, we can definitely see the mistakes by holding onto crap we dgaf about.
You kinda gotta just go for the stuff that's without a problem regardless of how much or how little effort is spent.
I don't understand the wording...
OMG this is happening to me so much lately in every aspect of my life, thank u for this video.
Couldnt have clicked this faster
That means you're cured!
Thanks!
Are there any other content creators like him that focus on women? I have many of the issues here, but don’t fit in to the community as I’m older and female and was late diagnosed ADD and am absolutely lost and depressed.
Random but life can be right and wrong at the same time. The fact that I did good living(peaked) in “present” the last year of my high school but with a wrong environment is a lesson I had to chew thoroughly and swallow. Life just aligns naturally of what we feel inside while the interactions outside test you, then intertwined with what you allow and pass by.
I don't know, this all sounds a little weird.
Classic case of analysis paralysis
Thank you for the perfect timing of this video! I literally was having analysis paralysis about selling everything I own and moving. It makes sense why I feel some kind of way about “losing” everything I’ve built up to this point. But obviously I know if I let go of everything, I will have better opportunities elsewhere. This makes me feel a lot better! Thanks Dr. K and everyone in the community for explaining! ❤
Hadn't head of analysis paralysis or loss aversion, nice to have a term to associate with the feeling
On 2023, at so many diverse occasions, my brains used it’s ingéniosity to make any little problem bigger, have it steroid and this made me stressed and in a state where I can make it really bigger in life. When I choosed to calm my brain and be more mature at handling problems, I realized how much they are never that big.
I'm currently experiencing this paralysis right now. I'm trying to jump into my own business- i have the knowledge and experience, but I'm sitting here "what if...?"-ing myself to death and unable to act... i need to figure this out.
Was something like that and I changed "what if" to "what if ... let's find out" it's such a relief in each choice. What if this girl doesn't like me, let's find out. And she ended up becoming my wife lol
@@partoftheworlDlol awesome!
This is probably the best TRADING PSYCHOLOGY video I’ve seen in a long time. I do face Analysis Paralysis when trading even though I have an edge I make stupid execution mistakes
I hate when I get grilled braincheese
This made me laugh out loud like an idiot, thank you 😂😂😂
did you do 20 years in the can by any chance?
Great vid Dr K. Learned a lot!! Im definitely interoceptive and i suffer a lot because of my loss aversion. Ironically the paralysis leads me to objectively bad decisions and it becomes a sort of self fulfilling prophecy that is negative. Im trying to change my thought patterns. This video was very helpful.
You know about the sleep paralysis demon but have you seen the analysis paralysis demon?
I have been watching your videos for the past few months. Helps expand my perspective, knowledge and understanding. Your videos have helped me tremendously in thoughts and feelings I was having in my life. Helped me make sense of things. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do
Having ADHD and a high self esteem means I don't have this loss aversion at all, but it STILL doesn't matter 😂
"I gotta finish editing that video. I know it'll take like 20 minutes considering where I left it, and I know I'm amazing at this and there's a 0% chance I'll screw it up... Nope, my body still won't move, I'll do it some day probably 💀"
fuck. same. I dont wanna be on adderall again :/
I think why i like Dr K so much is because he doesnt ever assume that we are too stupid or ignorant to understand something. He speaks to us about what it is, how it works, and he does into detail and positively assumes that we will understand.
I have struggled with therapy in the past due to my special interest being in psychology (im autistic), i studied (sort of still do) for years. My issue is When i go to a therapist, they speak to me as if its my first time on earth. They assume that i know nothing, and they dont believe me when i say 'no im very familiar i understand' so they spend the first 6 weeks educating me on things i already know, instead of helping me put those things into motion, or to feel those things on a deeper level, or to actually identify the parts of me that need healing. Its a very frustrating experience. I cant open up when they are explaining cbt to me despite me having used cbt techniques for the last 8 years.
My best experiences have been with Doctors or psychiatrists, because they tend to be quite excited that someone has actually shown interest and are present ready to hear and take on advice. Its really difficult for me to find an irl therapist likr Dr. K, who wont assume that im incapable of understanding, and wont treat me like im rude when i ask questions in detail. When i seek detail, im not being rude, im being open and honest and if you, like Dr K respond well to that as a therapist, im an open book. If not, i just cannot ever feel comfortable enough to want to open up and get to the more serious, ugly parts.
My issue is i want closeness with others but im so scared of loss that i dont even try. Im scared to lose my alone time, my isolation, that I've built up over the years. Im scared to lose my peace if i let others in. In reality thr 'peace' i have exists within a vacuum, and it will be better, stronger, more fruitful peace when i let others in. ❤
crying in virgo rising...
Big dawg I was struggling with submitting my application for NYU’s I/O psych grad program and this video would’ve been such a big help! Seriously, if I had this about a month ago I genuinely believe 80% of my stress would’ve been gone. Thanks for the video doc :)
dr gay
This really speaks out to me right now. I'm evaluating a job offer and everyone tells me it's a great opportunity, but I can't stop thinking about what I could miss out if I leave my current workplace.
Brilliant! I love the way Dr K integrates other disciplines into these videos. This system's approach may really help me out and I understand it having been in engineering school at one point in my life! I couldn't understand why I couldn't hold onto the plusses in contemplating certain decisions but now I do. I will rethink my process for upcoming decisions using Dr Ks ideas from this video. Thank you Dr K.
1. Change the order of thinking of actions...the first thing you think about while considering options, is the one with higher possibility of you acting on it.