My wife of 51 years and I flip a quarter if we can't decide. Heads we do, tails we don't. Never fight over decisions. If it doesn't work out we blame the quarter.
"Done is better than perfect" is what I repeated to myself over and over again, every week last year when I went back to school and finished my degree. It was only one class, but it's been almost 20 years and I felt like I wasn't doing a good job on my papers. So I had to tell myself that as long as I turned them in, I wouldn't fail and that was all that counted.
All you can do is your best. I have had teachers who failed everyone but min allowed. Luckily one of those classes, Engr Physics 1 & 2 I had to take at a community College & transfer credits. I got 2 C grades. But credits, not grades transferred. Whew.
Would the ‘done is better than perfect ‘philosophy work out for choosing a degree? I understand most people know what they want to study but I was very good at school, chose a major in college because I had no idea what I wanted to do and I listened to what my parents said. Now I’ve worked 4 years in the field but I can’t quite shake the feeling of wanting to do something else but I still don’t know what to do. I want to pursue a masters but i’m torn between choosing something related to my existing degree or something completely new.
Your contents are really better than going to any psychologist and therapist. It's clear, crisp, to the point and without any drama. Thank you for your efforts to make us feel better.
@@somehuman6300 Some podcast tend to motivate it's viewers by shouting and yelling in annoying tones, with really loud background track. It's hurtful to hear them.
"Life will choose for you. if you don't" - sometimes these insightful harsh realities are what you need to hear, to start taking those decisive first steps. Beautiful content :)
Fighting depression for over 10 years took a toll on my ability to actively do things. I feel strong bodily reaction whenever I try to decide anything or even think about doing things I usually don't do. I give myself a year to slowly make progress now. I have to remind myself almost daily that change doesn't happen overnight just to not paralyzed by guilt and fear.
Thank you! "Avoiding risk can mean that you end up disappointed and lonely" really, really hit me at the point! Thanks for your effort of explaining it! :)
I'm 33 and this has destroyed my life the past 10 years, I even went to a school therapist and they said I needed to see a career councilor... that didn't help. I wish I knew I needed help sooner, and that it could be fixed.
I feel the same. My entire life (im 31) i have been unable to make any important decisions, so i just dont make decisions and let life kinda decide for me.. I postpone things untill i no longer have the choice. I boiled it down to mainly being afraid of making the wrong choice and then hating myself for making a wrong choice. Im trying to change this but its very difficult..
I turn 30 this year and feel the same. I was misdiagnosed as depressed for years because of the paralysis. It has led to total catatonia at times. Inability to leave bed for days. Inability to eat. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat as soon as I get stressed out. I am literally Just finding out that this is a known problem. I was diagnosed autistic almost 20 years ago. Why the hell no one helped me with this sooner I don’t know.
"A finished PhD is a good PhD", this is similar to the done is better than perfect mantra and is what got me through finishing my thesis. Thanks a lot for this. Cant wait to hear about executive functioning as I struggle with prioritization and identifying what is important during decision-making!
@@afrinakhanam4696 I wish you all the best. I know how you must be feeling. Just know that your the expert in your work, and this is was the work you could do given the time and resources you had. Be upfront about any limitations or weakness and say future research can examine them further. You’ve got this ☺️
This video could not have come at a more perfect time! I have been completely emotionally paralyzed which is starting to cause me to be physically paralyzed because I'm so overwhelmed about making decisions. Today, I could barely move and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I rarely take naps anymore because I suffer from insomnia (whole other issue). I thought the nap might reboot my brain, which it sometimes does, but the nap made me feel worse 😫 I feel like I've made the wrong decisions in the past so I'm terrified of making more bad decisions. Lately I have been procrastinating and giving my mind a "brain break" by watching shows that make me laugh. However, I've also been educating myself on the project I want to start. I have so many ideas in my head but I find it difficult to put those ideas into practice. I'm definitely an over thinker but I want to be a doer. I'm not lazy. I just want to do something that has meaning. But sometimes I can barely get out of bed and I'm not even 40 years old yet 😞 Thank you for making these videos to help me feel a little less alone.
Hi Emma, I saw this quote and thought of you. "Just as the acorn contains the mighty oak tree, the Self has everything it needs to fulfill its destiny. When the inner conditions are right, it naturally emerges."
Thank you SOO MUCH for this video. You are a god-send. Anxiety-avoidance and analysis paralysis is it's own kind of HELL. Thank you, I found this really helpful, and learned a lot!
I’ve watched this twice already. This video continues to be helpful. It makes me realize how spoiled we are. Trying to make a decision about what car to buy. Adding options adds a lot of money. I’m worried about silly things like well I regret every day if I don’t have a sunroof. If you’re going to pay tens of thousands of dollars for something you should get exactly what you want. But the price just keeps going up and the decision making has paralyzed me as always. This video definitely helps. Thanks!
So good to remind ourselves that we are more capable and and smarter than we think! There's so much value in the habit of affirming yourself and being aware of how you function, so that you can support yourself as best as you can.
You have done more for me than any therapist has ever done. I hope you realise the power you have. Thankyou so much for saving my life on many occasions ♥️
just woke up, so much things ramping on my mind, don't know where and when to start my day, and you pop up in my yt homepage. " imperfect decisions is greater than doing nothing" "its picking anything and being resilient of the outcome" ❤❤
I've been overthinking for all 4 years of my high school career. Now starting out as a Freshman in college next week, I hope this video will be a clear crisp reminder that any decision is better than no decision, and there will always be some risk with it, because that is what life is all about! I find it very inspirational! Heck Ulysses S. Grant took chances as General and Union Head Commander in the Civil War! Not every one was perfect, but making a decision definitely showed a better outcome! All of this time I was thinking like George McClellan whom which Lincoln fired for being so cautious. Not anymore!
This is great! Great quick overview of the background. My favorite part is the need to address the underlying emotions fueling our thoughts. As a therapist myself, this is a crucial thing I teach most if not all my clients. I have them first STOP to take time to reflect, get in touch with their bodily response, and identify their thoughts and emotions. From there often we can find some emotional need, oftentimes a fear that needs to be addressed. This often comes from a younger part of us that might have been wounded in the past. Once we give a voice to that part, once we allow that part to be seen, to be heard, it often has a positive change and impact in the present.
Thank you Emma 💖 I've been torn between leaving my job or not for past couple of months! I even turned in my resignation, but was being lured back with an offer of a small favour! Your video, helped me clear up my head! Thanks again! Be blessed!
I can’t tell you how much this video has helped me today!! I’ve been struggling with a decision for months about relocating my life, if I don’t try I’ll never know! ❤🎉🎉🎉
You are a blessing. The time and devotion to this channel is so appreciated. You manage to put out consistently excellent content along with raising a family and being a great wife. We. Appreciate. You. ❤❤❤❤
Excellent advise! I so needed to hear everything you had to say. I have been experiencing analysis paralysis big time. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So appreciated!😊
What i find hardest is when i all options seem equally good or bad and people say 'just pick one, it doesn't matter which.' I need CRITERIA! I don't know how to handle it when there is no wrong or right answer.
Jc- go with your gut feeling. Write out on a peice of paper the pros and cons of each one you’re trying to make a decision. If con’s weigh out the pros…. Then that’s a red flag.
Thanks for this! I’ve recently realized everything I’ve experienced, the trauma that’s played a part in me making decisions. I suppose cognitive dissonance and a dysregulated nervous system plays a part too. I tend not to trust self though my intuition seems strong so I seek support typically in my unsupportive mother. I believe being overwhelmed with emotion causes me to react with trauma responses, I shutdown from feeling unheard and probably the process of feeling that I don’t know what to do. Additionally, another issue I believe is not even knowing the emotions I’m experiencing due to that decision making is more difficult because I don’t think in depth or what’s in front of my face. It makes me mad I experience extreme difficulty in decisions that are automatic for others. I’ve started to see I should consider current circumstance and the changes whatever would cause. I think remembering that first feeling and if I went from happy to unhappy when an issue arises. If I’m unhappy in what way would whatever make me happy and decide to do that, stop going with what’s simple that tends to tie into unhappiness because I’m basically avoiding a decision. Through everything I’ve experienced on my own, especially after basically being unsupportive it’s clear to me I’m capable without doubting myself.
Thanks so much for this video! It showed up on my feed right when I'm stuck on a big project that I've been putting off for way too long. Done is better than perfect!!
Emma, your videos are awesome. Thank you for educating us so well on mental health and emotional wellness topics. You are my favorite educator on UA-cam.
I love that she talks about fear. When I read the book who moved my cheese mini years ago, there was a one page in there that says what would you do if you weren’t afraid? I think that one page changed my life. I started being able to make decisions once I just said quit being afraid and just try it.
Thank you so much for this video. I rarely comment on videos but this one really helped with an issue I'm confronted with since...ever. I hope I can apply quickly what I just learned !
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson Thanks for the video Emma, great point on overcoming analysis paralysis by processing the emotions that are truly causing it!
Very very good! I suffer from serious depression. I have a big problem deciding what I want to eat. I have plenty of money and I am very blessed I don't eat much. I snack a lot. Thank you for that information! GoD bless!
I’ve been doing this so badly with trying to choose which way I want to lose weight. I’ve tried numerous diets but I just can’t stick with anything. After watching this I believe I’ve convinced myself I’ll just put the weight back on so I avoid choosing an approach and want to look for that perfect decision. Which you’ve stated doesn’t exist! So now I need to decide how to move forward.
Thank you. This seems really helpful. I just spent a whole day trying to choose a rainjacket and didn’t even finish. I’ll put this in practice and see what happens.
That is a deep pain indeed. I was given up for adoption, lost my whole family (parents, grandparents, cousins, and so on and 2.5+ yrs) and had subsequent foster homes. Deep abandonment issues. Unseen trauma by adoptive parents, who provided physically, but were mostly very emotionally unavailable. A key to my healing has been to learn how to not abandon myself. Learning to take my needs and boundaries into consideration, learn how to stand up for what I want, having my own back. I often would contort in ways to not be abandoned, people please...but that leads to loneliness because you aren't showing up as you, therefore abandoning yourself. Healing the core wounds and limiting beliefs is huge. It is possible. Once you deeply connect with YOU, it is life changing. You can only connect to others at the level you are connected to, and accept, yourself. Sending wishes for deep connection💛💫
I wish I'd known this in HS. Some choices, I don't regret, evasion has helped skip bad scenarios. But I feel that, missing out on good job opps., not being able to climb higher. Still, I'm 26, so it's not the end of the world, no regrets, not in a bad place at all. I know what I want to do now... Much love to this channel.
Thank you for the helpful insights for making decisions! In addition to the strategies you mentioned, what about deciding beforehand a reasonable amount of time to make a decision and sticking to it, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable at first? Whatever the future holds, you don't lose everything. Your self-esteem is maintained because you avoided the two extremes/pitfalls of impulsiveness and indecisiveness. P.S.: I just watched your next video about executive functioning, and realized we brought up the topic of deadline-setting.
My action on complex issues is to defer them onto my calendar so that I have more time to gather more information. But when the time comes, I either have no more information or not enough information. It seems like I have complicated the issue by adding procrastination. What path for resolution should be taken?
Freidas case is quite similar to mine...god in a way you really helped me with the exact scenario i was facing. Thankyou so much Emma! Your videos are so so so incredibly helpful. Thankyou for making it easier to handle things, much love to you❤
as frida's case is exactly mine, overthinker, procrastinator, black n white thinking pattern. bt you have to take decisions with uncertainty and risks factor, its the point where you grow.
This is just too relatable. I often procrastinate because I get too overwhelmed by my decisions. My mom says I don't care about those decisions cuz I procrastinate but in reality I'm just too worried to make a bad future choice.
Great tips. I am stuck in analysis paralysis, so eventually I avoid making certain decisions. Sometimes it is so exhausting, that I prefer to abandon the idea completely, instead of pushing forward. The reason is mostly that I don't want to make bad decisions😢 Thank you for the video.
Thank you for this!! Currently struggling so much with choosing a education for this fall, between London and Stockholm. I already live in sweden and love most parts of it, but i was so excited when i got accepted to london, i’ve thought about every single detail and it’s just soo hard to make a choice. My fear is for sure regret, that i would have made the ’wrong’ choice. I’m gonna watch this video everyday to remind and help myself😂😭
@ I ended up starting uni in bristol, UK, and it honestly feels like the best decisions in my life!! i feel like i’ve learnt and grown so much and I’m so happy i moved even tho it was scary and definitely a bit rough the first half year, it feels so worth it!
@@koopi789 wow I loved how good it ended up for you!You know hell yeah that woman on this video is right like whatever is your decision pick up one and don’t hesitate because not everything is perfect and you don’t have to be perfect .When the mind is like this you get the best results. I have desicion paralyses as well but from now on I know what to do thanks ur answer is also very helpful 💫💕
Im having the same troubles deciding for jobs, but in my case I have trauma associated with it, specially in my career, so I was thinking in choosing other work for my mental peace over my "specialty"
What if you can't remind yourself that you're resilient because you're not? I have made so many decisions that had a terrible outcome that I feel paralyzed every time I have to make a new one. I'm always going back in my mind and making another decision; the one I should have made. I can't think of a good decision I can give myself credit for. I'm stuck in a constant loop of regret. If you don't feel you can trust yourself to make decisions anymore, you're way beyond these steps. I'm still glad this subject is getting more attention lately because it really is a huge roadblock for many.
Santana, I can relate pretty well with what you described. If I may share what I have discovered about my "uneducated choice making" life.... no one was there for me as a child when I needed support, so my child-brain, to help me thru the hurt and fear, established me as the only one to trust. Spent 55 years trying my best to get thru life without "needing" anyone for guidance on life decisions etc. now I am 68yo, and have lost every dime I worked for to poor choices. I finally got clear that I have set myself up for a miserable old age and hired a financial consultant. Humbling and embarrassing, her job is not to judge my past, but to help me move forward. The pain of shame (of needing help) was MUCH LESS than the joy of hope that I can ask for help, and use other people's knowledge. Wow, what a freeing revelation! I wish you the ah ha moment where your search for hope trumps the fear of your decision making process!!
I feel this immensely. For me, regret is what becomes paralyzing. I look back, see all the "should have gone that way" moments, that making a wrong decision now carries so much more weight because of the pain of regret. Does this make sense? I feel like I cannot afford any more regret. I would love for some hope to be shined on situations like ours. It is truly so painful, and as time goes on, it becomes heavier. I can only say that sometimes making a wrong decision helps to illuminate the places where maybe our energy belongs. For instance, I jumped into a master's program, am halfway in, and am not sure it is the right fit for me... yet another painful wrong decision, but it is shedding light on where I feel I do belong a little bit more.
Thank you. Very timely and helpful. The reference to making decisions about jeans caught my attention. And that confident people aren’t necessarily more right- and finally- considering that One has the resilience to live well with some less pleasant consequences 😂
It took me a long while to realise I was trying to choose "the right answer" when all the options were good. I realised that the harder the decision is to make the less it matters because it means they're all exactly as good
Thank you so much for this! I really needed it! I've had so many experiences where I've waited too long in making a choice and missed out. Also, Bombay House is always a great choice. 😉
I'm good at making decisions for ME, but I really struggle with making decisions when other people are involved ... will they be happy with my choice? I guess I'm afraid of dealing with their disappointment or criticism. Maybe I should go back and watch a people pleasing video. Thanks for another great video! You are so fun to be with.
My wife of 51 years and I flip a quarter if we can't decide. Heads we do, tails we don't. Never fight over decisions. If it doesn't work out we blame the quarter.
I LOVE this
😂😂😂 Sometime we want to flip it again. Like Im more into the second choice. Let's try again!
that's adorable😭
I don't think you can apply this for big decisions
When we want to reflip the coin then we know it’s the other side we really wanted.
"Done is better than perfect" is what I repeated to myself over and over again, every week last year when I went back to school and finished my degree. It was only one class, but it's been almost 20 years and I felt like I wasn't doing a good job on my papers. So I had to tell myself that as long as I turned them in, I wouldn't fail and that was all that counted.
Love it, i Will borrow this!
This is what I'm telling myself
But still be aware of consequences of your acts
All you can do is your best. I have had teachers who failed everyone but min allowed. Luckily one of those classes, Engr Physics 1 & 2 I had to take at a community College & transfer credits. I got 2 C grades. But credits, not grades transferred. Whew.
Would the ‘done is better than perfect ‘philosophy work out for choosing a degree?
I understand most people know what they want to study but I was very good at school, chose a major in college because I had no idea what I wanted to do and I listened to what my parents said. Now I’ve worked 4 years in the field but I can’t quite shake the feeling of wanting to do something else but I still don’t know what to do. I want to pursue a masters but i’m torn between choosing something related to my existing degree or something completely new.
"If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice"
-Rush, 'Freewill'
Your contents are really better than going to any psychologist and therapist. It's clear, crisp, to the point and without any drama. Thank you for your efforts to make us feel better.
That's kind of you dude
What do you mean by "without any drama?" What kind of drama do you usually experience?
@@somehuman6300 Some podcast tend to motivate it's viewers by shouting and yelling in annoying tones, with really loud background track. It's hurtful to hear them.
@@jumanji9869 Thanks for explaining this. Are you saying one of the reasons you like this channel is because her voice is calming?
I can’t access the class
Hearing "you are resilient. You can handle an imperfect outcome" brought a tear to my eye. Thank you. I didn't even know I needed to hear that. ❤️
"Life will choose for you. if you don't" - sometimes these insightful harsh realities are what you need to hear, to start taking those decisive first steps. Beautiful content :)
But isnt the decision made then? I believe the Most important Thing to learn about decisions is that we Put too much significance in Them.
Fighting depression for over 10 years took a toll on my ability to actively do things. I feel strong bodily reaction whenever I try to decide anything or even think about doing things I usually don't do.
I give myself a year to slowly make progress now. I have to remind myself almost daily that change doesn't happen overnight just to not paralyzed by guilt and fear.
You always come in a perfect time of need. Thank you for your help. It always makes me feel better and confident🙏
Agreed
I'm so glad!
@@TherapyinaNutshell thank u😊😇
Thanks so much for this. As a single mom I struggle with this a lot and whether I am capable of making the best decisions for my daughter.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you! "Avoiding risk can mean that you end up disappointed and lonely" really, really hit me at the point! Thanks for your effort of explaining it! :)
I'm 33 and this has destroyed my life the past 10 years, I even went to a school therapist and they said I needed to see a career councilor... that didn't help. I wish I knew I needed help sooner, and that it could be fixed.
I feel the same. My entire life (im 31) i have been unable to make any important decisions, so i just dont make decisions and let life kinda decide for me.. I postpone things untill i no longer have the choice. I boiled it down to mainly being afraid of making the wrong choice and then hating myself for making a wrong choice. Im trying to change this but its very difficult..
@@Kevin97587exactly on the same boat here. it's very difficult to change... and i'm turning 32 this year...
I turn 30 this year and feel the same. I was misdiagnosed as depressed for years because of the paralysis. It has led to total catatonia at times. Inability to leave bed for days. Inability to eat. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat as soon as I get stressed out.
I am literally Just finding out that this is a known problem. I was diagnosed autistic almost 20 years ago. Why the hell no one helped me with this sooner I don’t know.
“There is no perfect decision” really hit me. That’s… so true.
there should be with enough data
"A finished PhD is a good PhD", this is similar to the done is better than perfect mantra and is what got me through finishing my thesis. Thanks a lot for this. Cant wait to hear about executive functioning as I struggle with prioritization and identifying what is important during decision-making!
OMG! I am going through the same dilemma. My defense is in 2 weeks!
@@afrinakhanam4696 I wish you all the best. I know how you must be feeling. Just know that your the expert in your work, and this is was the work you could do given the time and resources you had. Be upfront about any limitations or weakness and say future research can examine them further. You’ve got this ☺️
This video could not have come at a more perfect time! I have been completely emotionally paralyzed which is starting to cause me to be physically paralyzed because I'm so overwhelmed about making decisions. Today, I could barely move and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I rarely take naps anymore because I suffer from insomnia (whole other issue). I thought the nap might reboot my brain, which it sometimes does, but the nap made me feel worse 😫 I feel like I've made the wrong decisions in the past so I'm terrified of making more bad decisions. Lately I have been procrastinating and giving my mind a "brain break" by watching shows that make me laugh. However, I've also been educating myself on the project I want to start. I have so many ideas in my head but I find it difficult to put those ideas into practice. I'm definitely an over thinker but I want to be a doer. I'm not lazy. I just want to do something that has meaning. But sometimes I can barely get out of bed and I'm not even 40 years old yet 😞 Thank you for making these videos to help me feel a little less alone.
Hi Emma, I saw this quote and thought of you.
"Just as the acorn contains the mighty oak tree, the Self has everything it needs to fulfill its destiny. When the inner conditions are right, it naturally emerges."
This video hit me right in the feels. I'm a chronic overthinker and this is just what I needed to hear. Thanks for the great content!
Done is better than perfect is a phrase that is literally changing my life. I use it almost everyday.
Thank you SOO MUCH for this video. You are a god-send. Anxiety-avoidance and analysis paralysis is it's own kind of HELL. Thank you, I found this really helpful, and learned a lot!
Exactly what I needed today! Huge love!! 🥰 Thanks beautiful!!
I’ve watched this twice already. This video continues to be helpful. It makes me realize how spoiled we are. Trying to make a decision about what car to buy. Adding options adds a lot of money. I’m worried about silly things like well I regret every day if I don’t have a sunroof. If you’re going to pay tens of thousands of dollars for something you should get exactly what you want. But the price just keeps going up and the decision making has paralyzed me as always. This video definitely helps. Thanks!
So good to remind ourselves that we are more capable and and smarter than we think! There's so much value in the habit of affirming yourself and being aware of how you function, so that you can support yourself as best as you can.
You have done more for me than any therapist has ever done. I hope you realise the power you have. Thankyou so much for saving my life on many occasions ♥️
just woke up, so much things ramping on my mind, don't know where and when to start my day, and you pop up in my yt homepage. " imperfect decisions is greater than doing nothing" "its picking anything and being resilient of the outcome" ❤❤
After putting this all together it sounds like I need to work on my self confidence and self esteem!
I've been overthinking for all 4 years of my high school career. Now starting out as a Freshman in college next week, I hope this video will be a clear crisp reminder that any decision is better than no decision, and there will always be some risk with it, because that is what life is all about! I find it very inspirational!
Heck Ulysses S. Grant took chances as General and Union Head Commander in the Civil War! Not every one was perfect, but making a decision definitely showed a better outcome!
All of this time I was thinking like George McClellan whom which Lincoln fired for being so cautious. Not anymore!
This is great! Great quick overview of the background. My favorite part is the need to address the underlying emotions fueling our thoughts. As a therapist myself, this is a crucial thing I teach most if not all my clients. I have them first STOP to take time to reflect, get in touch with their bodily response, and identify their thoughts and emotions. From there often we can find some emotional need, oftentimes a fear that needs to be addressed. This often comes from a younger part of us that might have been wounded in the past. Once we give a voice to that part, once we allow that part to be seen, to be heard, it often has a positive change and impact in the present.
I like that you summarize and put a visual up on the video with the main points. So helpful.
Omg could this be the advice I've always needed??
謝謝！
I love and appreciate the hell out of you for all your videos. You have no idea how much they've helped and how much I value them. ❤️
Thank you Emma 💖 I've been torn between leaving my job or not for past couple of months! I even turned in my resignation, but was being lured back with an offer of a small favour! Your video, helped me clear up my head! Thanks again! Be blessed!
👏
Thank you so much for this information, you're very helpful and inspiring 🥰
thank u soo much for delivering all psychology contents in a very detailed yet easy-to-understand way! u helped when time gets hardest. thank you
I can’t tell you how much this video has helped me today!! I’ve been struggling with a decision for months about relocating my life, if I don’t try I’ll never know! ❤🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much for sharing your valuable knowledge for free on the net for those who cannot afford the courses.
You are a blessing. The time and devotion to this channel is so appreciated. You manage to put out consistently excellent content along with raising a family and being a great wife.
We. Appreciate. You.
❤❤❤❤
Excellent advise! I so needed to hear everything you had to say. I have been experiencing analysis paralysis big time. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So appreciated!😊
Glad it was helpful!
What i find hardest is when i all options seem equally good or bad and people say 'just pick one, it doesn't matter which.' I need CRITERIA! I don't know how to handle it when there is no wrong or right answer.
Great timing I'm doing this right now!x
Thank you! I'm stuck between dating someone I had before, or moving on with someone new, this video will help me make a decision.
Jc- go with your gut feeling. Write out on a peice of paper the pros and cons of each one you’re trying to make a decision.
If con’s weigh out the pros…. Then that’s a red flag.
As a toxic perfectionist and a psychology student, I feel like I got a lot out of this video. Thank you so much !
Thanks for this! I’ve recently realized everything I’ve experienced, the trauma that’s played a part in me making decisions. I suppose cognitive dissonance and a dysregulated nervous system plays a part too. I tend not to trust self though my intuition seems strong so I seek support typically in my unsupportive mother. I believe being overwhelmed with emotion causes me to react with trauma responses, I shutdown from feeling unheard and probably the process of feeling that I don’t know what to do. Additionally, another issue I believe is not even knowing the emotions I’m experiencing due to that decision making is more difficult because I don’t think in depth or what’s in front of my face. It makes me mad I experience extreme difficulty in decisions that are automatic for others. I’ve started to see I should consider current circumstance and the changes whatever would cause. I think remembering that first feeling and if I went from happy to unhappy when an issue arises. If I’m unhappy in what way would whatever make me happy and decide to do that, stop going with what’s simple that tends to tie into unhappiness because I’m basically avoiding a decision. Through everything I’ve experienced on my own, especially after basically being unsupportive it’s clear to me I’m capable without doubting myself.
Thanks so much for this video! It showed up on my feed right when I'm stuck on a big project that I've been putting off for way too long. Done is better than perfect!!
Emma is golden , thx for the valuable information, you give the time ,,everyone best appreciate,,,,, thx E
😢This… this video explained my entire life and the constant perfectionism that I’ve failed to obtain. Thank you for this message. It was so timely!!!
Emma, your videos are awesome. Thank you for educating us so well on mental health and emotional wellness topics. You are my favorite educator on UA-cam.
Thank you for this! I needed to hear it.
Glad it was helpful!
Look forward, not back helped me so much from making decisions
I love that she talks about fear. When I read the book who moved my cheese mini years ago, there was a one page in there that says what would you do if you weren’t afraid? I think that one page changed my life. I started being able to make decisions once I just said quit being afraid and just try it.
I suffer with this real badly, but i think i am becoming better at approaching it❤
Thank you for this video this helped me a bit
I was going threw that but I started to pray on it and I felt better after.
Really perfect timing, having some huge decisions to make and problems taking them 😉
I love this channel, It's helping me getting to know myself better.
❤
Exactly what I needed today❤
Thank you so much for this video. I rarely comment on videos but this one really helped with an issue I'm confronted with since...ever. I hope I can apply quickly what I just learned !
I am grateful to have stumbled upon your series of videos. They are fantastic & right on the money!
I will be checking out all of them!!!
amazing video. my algorithm finally did it!
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thanks for the video Emma, great point on overcoming analysis paralysis by processing the emotions that are truly causing it!
Wonderful, it's come in a right time. It's been a life long problem for me. Making decisions cause a lot of pain for me.
I feel ya brother, decisions can really drain our willpower, yet they break us out of stagnation at the same time ❤
@@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702 thanks for this. 🌸🙏🏽😍
Very very good! I suffer from serious depression. I have a big problem deciding what I want to eat. I have plenty of money and I am very blessed I don't eat much. I snack a lot. Thank you for that information! GoD bless!
I’ve been doing this so badly with trying to choose which way I want to lose weight. I’ve tried numerous diets but I just can’t stick with anything. After watching this I believe I’ve convinced myself I’ll just put the weight back on so I avoid choosing an approach and want to look for that perfect decision. Which you’ve stated doesn’t exist! So now I need to decide how to move forward.
Thank you. This seems really helpful. I just spent a whole day trying to choose a rainjacket and didn’t even finish. I’ll put this in practice and see what happens.
How to heal abandonment issues? Feeling stuck in this affecting my relationships with people, Feeling lonely and sad.
That is a deep pain indeed. I was given up for adoption, lost my whole family (parents, grandparents, cousins, and so on and 2.5+ yrs) and had subsequent foster homes. Deep abandonment issues.
Unseen trauma by adoptive parents, who provided physically, but were mostly very emotionally unavailable.
A key to my healing has been to learn how to not abandon myself. Learning to take my needs and boundaries into consideration, learn how to stand up for what I want, having my own back.
I often would contort in ways to not be abandoned, people please...but that leads to loneliness because you aren't showing up as you, therefore abandoning yourself.
Healing the core wounds and limiting beliefs is huge.
It is possible.
Once you deeply connect with YOU, it is life changing. You can only connect to others at the level you are connected to, and accept, yourself.
Sending wishes for deep connection💛💫
i feel so better after these videos
i was introduced to this channel today and i loved ur vids
thankss
I wish I'd known this in HS. Some choices, I don't regret, evasion has helped skip bad scenarios. But I feel that, missing out on good job opps., not being able to climb higher. Still, I'm 26, so it's not the end of the world, no regrets, not in a bad place at all. I know what I want to do now... Much love to this channel.
Many thanks from Argentina. My life it's frozen for not making decisions. Thanks again
Thank you for this one. Great advice and very applicable for me and my life right now. Much appreciated!
This is beautiful advice thanks 😊
Thank you for the helpful insights for making decisions! In addition to the strategies you mentioned, what about deciding beforehand a reasonable amount of time to make a decision and sticking to it, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable at first? Whatever the future holds, you don't lose everything. Your self-esteem is maintained because you avoided the two extremes/pitfalls of impulsiveness and indecisiveness.
P.S.: I just watched your next video about executive functioning, and realized we brought up the topic of deadline-setting.
Thank you 🙏🏻😭
My action on complex issues is to defer them onto my calendar so that I have more time to gather more information. But when the time comes, I either have no more information or not enough information. It seems like I have complicated the issue by adding procrastination. What path for resolution should be taken?
Wow the best and cutest therapist online 🎉❤
Freidas case is quite similar to mine...god in a way you really helped me with the exact scenario i was facing. Thankyou so much Emma! Your videos are so so so incredibly helpful. Thankyou for making it easier to handle things, much love to you❤
I really needed this video today!
I'm watching this at work instead of doing what I'm supposed to.
Talk about executive function issues
Perfect timing now. I am struggling with that for years...
as frida's case is exactly mine, overthinker, procrastinator, black n white thinking pattern. bt you have to take decisions with uncertainty and risks factor, its the point where you grow.
Love ❤ the way you explaining, understandable, very clear and crisp ... thank you so much for the video 🙏
This is just too relatable. I often procrastinate because I get too overwhelmed by my decisions. My mom says I don't care about those decisions cuz I procrastinate but in reality I'm just too worried to make a bad future choice.
Great tips. I am stuck in analysis paralysis, so eventually I avoid making certain decisions. Sometimes it is so exhausting, that I prefer to abandon the idea completely, instead of pushing forward. The reason is mostly that I don't want to make bad decisions😢
Thank you for the video.
Thank you for this!! Currently struggling so much with choosing a education for this fall, between London and Stockholm. I already live in sweden and love most parts of it, but i was so excited when i got accepted to london, i’ve thought about every single detail and it’s just soo hard to make a choice. My fear is for sure regret, that i would have made the ’wrong’ choice.
I’m gonna watch this video everyday to remind and help myself😂😭
How it ended up ?
@ I ended up starting uni in bristol, UK, and it honestly feels like the best decisions in my life!! i feel like i’ve learnt and grown so much and I’m so happy i moved even tho it was scary and definitely a bit rough the first half year, it feels so worth it!
@@koopi789 wow I loved how good it ended up for you!You know hell yeah that woman on this video is right like whatever is your decision pick up one and don’t hesitate because not everything is perfect and you don’t have to be perfect .When the mind is like this you get the best results. I have desicion paralyses as well but from now on I know what to do thanks ur answer is also very helpful 💫💕
Ur really making a difference, keep uploading videos, we need more help and therapy in this stressed times!
This video is right in time! Thank you!!! 😊🙏
Early trauma makes decision making later in life more difficult.
Great talk I needed that.
Im having the same troubles deciding for jobs, but in my case I have trauma associated with it, specially in my career, so I was thinking in choosing other work for my mental peace over my "specialty"
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for what you do! yet another great and practical video, looking forward to the video on executive functioning!
What if you can't remind yourself that you're resilient because you're not? I have made so many decisions that had a terrible outcome that I feel paralyzed every time I have to make a new one. I'm always going back in my mind and making another decision; the one I should have made. I can't think of a good decision I can give myself credit for. I'm stuck in a constant loop of regret. If you don't feel you can trust yourself to make decisions anymore, you're way beyond these steps. I'm still glad this subject is getting more attention lately because it really is a huge roadblock for many.
Santana, I can relate pretty well with what you described. If I may share what I have discovered about my
"uneducated choice making" life....
no one was there for me as a child when I needed support, so my child-brain, to help me thru the hurt and fear, established me as the only one to trust. Spent 55 years trying my best to get thru life without "needing"
anyone for guidance on life decisions
etc. now I am 68yo, and have lost
every dime I worked for to poor choices. I finally got clear that I have set myself up for a miserable old age
and hired a financial consultant.
Humbling and embarrassing, her job is not to judge my past, but to help me move forward. The pain of shame (of needing help)
was MUCH LESS than the joy of hope that I can ask for help, and use other people's knowledge. Wow, what a freeing revelation!
I wish you the ah ha moment where
your search for hope trumps the fear
of your decision making process!!
I feel this immensely. For me, regret is what becomes paralyzing. I look back, see all the "should have gone that way" moments, that making a wrong decision now carries so much more weight because of the pain of regret. Does this make sense? I feel like I cannot afford any more regret. I would love for some hope to be shined on situations like ours. It is truly so painful, and as time goes on, it becomes heavier. I can only say that sometimes making a wrong decision helps to illuminate the places where maybe our energy belongs. For instance, I jumped into a master's program, am halfway in, and am not sure it is the right fit for me... yet another painful wrong decision, but it is shedding light on where I feel I do belong a little bit more.
Thank you. Very timely and helpful. The reference to making decisions about jeans caught my attention. And that confident people aren’t necessarily more right- and finally- considering that One has the resilience to live well with some less pleasant consequences 😂
You literaly described me word to word...
Great video! Thanks.
I like the phrase “analysis paralysis”
It took me a long while to realise I was trying to choose "the right answer" when all the options were good. I realised that the harder the decision is to make the less it matters because it means they're all exactly as good
One of your best videos . Thank you sooo much
Thank you so much for this! I really needed it! I've had so many experiences where I've waited too long in making a choice and missed out.
Also, Bombay House is always a great choice. 😉
This was very helpful actually. Thank you for this video.
I'm good at making decisions for ME, but I really struggle with making decisions when other people are involved ... will they be happy with my choice? I guess I'm afraid of dealing with their disappointment or criticism. Maybe I should go back and watch a people pleasing video. Thanks for another great video! You are so fun to be with.
You surely knw
How to tk
Decision
You decided well..
The topic😉😊😎🎊
Thanks dear😊
Thank you! Your videos are a delight!
I got adhd so I struggle to maintain executive function and working memory. It's not impossible just more work.
for sure it's totally possible to maintain that ❤