Is that because they erupt so slowly out there, or is it like Kansans with tornadoes where we sit there on the lawn chair with a beer and watch the next neighborhood over get destroyed?
@@dr.altoclef9255 I believe that Volcanoes on the Big Island, while active to an extent, are not strong enough to reach any large towns and neighborhoods.
As someone that lives in the southern US, the fact that Kings Hawaiian went through all this trouble just for advertising baffles me, considering how people would fight each other for the hawaiian sweet rolls here. Edit: What the hell is going on in the replies?
Of course, they aren't Hawaiian company. When has any US company that uses specific cultures to sell food EVER been part of that culture? Like I would have been shocked if they were Hawaiian.
@@twistedmyth5860 you're right. A lot of people believed they were actually Hawaiian. Someone tried to sue the company at one point when they learned they weren't actually Hawaiian, which I think is hilarious.
'Menehune' are apparently like, dwarf-like beings that live in secluded forests and valleys, far from human civilization. They're apparently highly skilled craftspeople that could build houses, canoes and even entire temples (heiau) in the span of a night. Lava-Lady is almost certainly Pele. She's powerful and passionate, but can be intensely jealous and is super capricious, like "Hi'aka, you're *my sister*, stop spending time with Hopoe instead, I'll kill them-". Meanwhile the Nightmarchers are the ghosts of ancient warriors, who come forth from their burial sites/the ocean, and march to sacred places, beating drums and blowing horns and carrying torches. You can't stop them, basically they'll keep going until they get where they want to go. If you watch them or show disrespect towards them you die a horrible violent death. If you ever encounter them, you're supposed to basically throw yourself on the ground, face-down, to show like, fear and deference to them. It's also said that if one of your ancestors was among these warriors, you're safe. EDIT: My limited reading suggests that sharks have a neutral or positive overall depiction in Hawaiian legends. Pele’s brother Kāmohoali’i, the shark god, would appear in front of lost ships. He would guide them home in exchange for ‘awa (Kava root drink). I’ve also heard of Ukupanipo(who guides fish to fisherman) and myths of men who can become sharks.
@@austinmorrison6953 I think they have a deity who is tied to sharks. Like, some areas of Hawaii have a more benevolent view of sharks than mainlanders do.
Sorry, what? "One of your ancestors" ? Just how far back are we talking? Technically speaking we all have common ancestors so all that bullshit with fairytales mentioning "ancestors" is just blatantly stupid.
They also got the Nightmarchers mythologically incorrect. They’re malevolent spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors, so chances are, they would’ve been killing the kids with Pineapple Head. Oh, how I wish that would’ve happened.
Now that would've been hilarious. They summon the spirits and then get slaughtered. I would have laughed so hard. This would've worked as a screwball comedy where the kids do EVERYTHING wrong and die. XD
Unless one of the kids is theirs. I mean the kid's grandpa is apparently super into the mythology so they could've had something about like, he's descended from some great warrior and thus is spared the chopping block because they recognize him.
@@dr.altoclef9255 see, that's an interesting concept. it would have been really cool for the film to explore that idea. but they didn't. they just plastered random Hawaiian stuff with zero regard for how accurate or interesting it is, which is a shame.
it would have been really nice for the film to actually make an attempt at teaching viewers about Hawaiian culture and mythology but instead they just wanted to sell bread
As someone who is Hawaiian and lives in the state, this movie is actually more funny than racist, stereotypical and stupid. The stereotypes are really far away from the truth and I just find it hilarious. We also got Punalu’u sweet bread that’s slaps better than them rolls
The only things that remotely looks Hawaiian in this movie are Pele and the Night Marchers, and that isn’t exactly saying much XD. Also which drink do you think is better Hawaiian Sun or Aloha Maid?
forreal. All I could think of is how the pineapple isn’t even native to Hawai’i and so it wouldn’t make any sense for the ancient Hawaiian spirit to have a pineapple for a head.
Off-brand Groot attacks island suburbia and is defeated by 3 kids, multiple Sonic the Crackhogs, low-resolution villain from Moana, and Avatar people from Walmart.
Of all the actual Hawaiian folklore in this film, what’s up with the pineapple head guy? Like, okay, a pineapple-headed monster, sure, but why attribute it to ancient Hawaiian folklore when pineapples aren’t even endemic to Hawai’i, and so a story like that wouldn’t even exist? Why not make the story about the Nightmarchers? Their whole thing is that they march at night (obviously) and if you step in their path, they’ll walk over you and kill you, or kill you outright. If you hear the beating of their drums, you have to hide away inside, because it means they’re close, and their march is relentless and ceaseless. That would be a really cool opponent or obstacle for a story set on Halloween night. They could’ve even played down the nightmarchers by having them just steal people who get in their way, and maybe the kids encounter them while trick-or-treat-ing and have to get away, or they could make it really whimsical and the nightmarchers are out, but the kids insist on getting their candy and hijinks ensue, or something, I dunno. I just think that Hawaiian folklore has a lot of genuinely creepy and interesting aspects to it (as with every culture), and they could’ve actually done something interesting with it instead of… whatever this was.
I remember there was an episode of the Lilo and Stitch TV series that referenced the Nightmarchers, with Lilo challenging Myrtle in a Test of Courage to prove they were real.
True. And heck they could have even grabbed one of the deities to use, there are a few that are honestly terrifying. Hawaii has good lore if you bother to dig deep enough
I remember hearing about that in like, an episode of Lilo and Stitch even. They toned it down for the audience (Lilo says something along the lines of 'if they find you, they'll take you away and you'll never be seen ever again').
Yeah, that is Really weird. It's like if Crest toothpaste suddenly decided to make a car to advertise Crest toothpaste. And not just put a bunch of their logos or something on a car, they just built a car from the ground up. It makes no sense.
The sad thing is, those sweet rolls literally look like they're pulled out of a Resident Evil game. Made them as realistic as possible, but they don't look appetizing. They look like they're melting. The part that's supposed to be light and bready is lumpy and discolored. There are flecks of dark green stuff that looks like mold. The tops look sickly and discolored, and seem like they would be rock hard.
A Halloween movie set in Hawaii does sound like a decent idea in my opinion, especially if it incorporates actual Hawaiian mythology, but this is certainly not the way to pull it off! Wouldn’t you agree?
I'd like to see a version of this meme with a follow up where the child returns the favor with the parent; i.e., 2021's Tom and Jerry at home, but it's that Itchy and Scatchy show from the Simpsons
Sometimes I wish I never subscribed to Saberspark because he exposes you to movies that make you want to gather all of the TVs in your house and start a bonfire.
I feel the same way about Family Guy. Portraying our morbidly obese households as dimwitted celebrity-obsessed chicken fighters. I know fat people! I'M FRIENDS WITH ONE HIS NAME IS BOBBY GARRET AND HE DOES ALRIGHT.
You know, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a real thing. People dress up as pirates and get blackout drunk to honor a ball of spaghetti with two eyestalks, two meatballs, and no idea what he’s doing. I’m not kidding.
You're missing the part where it's legally accepted that a colander as a hat is considered religious headdress, so you can wear one in your Passport photo.
Okay, so. 1) The neighbor's model is from an OZ based movie, which means he's probably supposed to be The Cowardly Lion. 2) He judging from the way the children react, he is not always a lion, and it's a full moon, so he must be a were-lion. 3) He has no mane, which male lions normally have, indicating a lioness. Conclusion: the neighbor is actually a trans-male werelion, living in Hawaii. Now how's that for an interesting movie idea?
@@TheSupporter76 Okay, this Steampunk Oz movie is actually starting to sound kind of interesting. Regardless, that would still indicate that he is supposed to be a lion, so the point about him being trans due to lacking a mane but otherwise presenting as male remains.
@@DesMuttYS there are maneless male lions actually, they're namely located in a specific part of Africa, I forget where though. I know that there a was a movie based off a pair that killed some number of rail workers. Even though the steam engines has a star studded voice cast the movie is lack luster and really silly in parts. Its based off a comic of the same name that's way more interesting.
The sync with the kids mouth movements at the LotR reference made me think that was what his actual voice sounded like for a sec. And I actually didn't think anymore on it until he said "ring". Just straight up using adult voices for these kids is totally something that could have happened in this movie.
My lord, this movie contains traces of a good idea. Its attempting to do horror with mythology. Mythology in any culture has tons of scary stuff you could use, you could emphasize the Hawaiian lore aspect, and try to be more faithful in the interpretation. And some good writing could make a good hawaiian horror movie.
I love how, as much effort as went into the rolls, it went into a single roll, and they multiplied it. Wouldn't have killed them to at least rotate them a little more so you don't see the same side's texture facing you from all the rolls.
Can you imagine a mainland American equivalent? “I love these slices of Kraft Wonderbread! They’re the best!” Also did the furry have a completely i acknowledged sentient ghost boyfriend??
Yeah, I feel like people are so distracted by the leather daddy furry handing out sweet rolls that they don't even notice that his porch is haunted by what appears to be an actual ghost.
@@MyDogIsYoshi the game itself can be a little sticky with controls, bit I love the satire from characters. It takes itself lightly but still has a fun story and gameplay
This video taught me many things, the most important being that the hot Hawaiian lifeguard from Lilo and Stitch is a thing and has thighs that look like they can crush steel bars.
I know I am very late to the party on this one, but did anyone else catch at @7:20 that the cougar man's chest becomes transparent and you can see the door frame through him?
*Flexes the fact that I got lost on a raft and saw all things after drinking salt water and died but gasp not really I was in a boat on dry land and it was Halloween* I don't know where I was going with this.
wait wait wait, I'm not hawaiian, but from what I understand with the lore of the Night Marchers, isn't interacting with them the LAST thing you want to do? like you're supposed to bow when you hear them coming to show reverence level of interaction.
@@mollyencrypted2488 from what I've read, some even say you're supposed to strip down to show full humility in front of them as you bow, or they get pissed
Night marcher survival rules: 1. If you hear them coming, they are loud as all the winds of a storm with pipes and horns and drums, Strip naked and throw yourself on the ground bowing before them 2. Do not look up, do not move, do not bring any attention to yourself 3. Pray one of your ancestors is in the march and if they call your name you remain bowing. If you have done these things successfully you will be safe anything else means a horrible and painful death.
Dude, you should be a professional movie critic. You do a REALLY thorough breakdown of the entire movie, you pose a lot of good points about the animation, the dialogue, and story.
(6:57)I add as a resident of the island with the most active volcano that you can continue your daily activities even if the volcano is erupting BUT you can't go anywhere you want near the volcano there are some restrictions (sorry for my english its not my native language🙇♀️ )
There's one good thing that I got from this movie...well, it didn't came strictly from the movie, more like from the review: since Saberspark mentioned Hawaiian folklore and some creatures from it, I got interested in that. I love folklores and folklore creatures, so I'm always happy to learn about the more obscure ones
About that lava lady we see in the film, well she is part of hawaiian myths too. Her name is Pele, and she is the goddess of fire and volcanoes. Still, like the rest of the folklores we see, she isn't really put in the best light...
As a hawaiian living in hawaii I must say that kings hawaiian sweet rolls are made in California so pls don't blame us for this movie monstrosity but damn are they good
Wait, so is King's Hawaiian taking shots at Dole Pineapple? "So there's a cougar furry in leather who bakes fresh sweet rolls and offers them to guests." Yeah, I probably know that guy. Hearing this breakdown from someone who is totally unfamiliar with Hawaiian mythology was (no offense Saber) was hilarious. Lava lady!
This man cannot escape the furry grasp of these movies So anyway, I call King’s Hawaiian bread “Orange Bread”. Because of the bag. I’ve done so for 15 years, I will do it for 100 years more.
@@pennysanchez7656 Fun fact: bots can't read, so asking them to do anything is a waste of time. Further, replying to spam makes it look more legit to the UA-cam Algorithm, so you're actually helping it by replying. Just report and move on.
Scary Godmother was my favorite Halloween movie as a kid, and I got sad they don't air it on cartoon network anymore. I just found it so funny Saber saying Jimmy could take that pineapple dude, LMAO.
We all know that the "Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mount Doom?" question is stupid, but in the case of this one, it seems reasonable to ask "Why didn't they fly the helicopter over the volcano and drop the thing in instead of apparently parking it at the bottom and then hiking up?" Now, this moose has not seen this movie. Perhaps they explain it, but he doubts it given everything else going on.
@Logan Roof you do realize everyone on this planet will hate your guts for this right? I don't care if your an attention seeking 7 year old or (god forbid) a full grown adult who thinks thisll get you some cool points on the internet, you do not make fun of someone's loss like this. If you wouldn't do it in real life, don't think you'll get off easy cause you're hidden behind a device and profile picture. The consequences for your actions will come, whether tomorrow, a few weeks, or a few years. It'll come, and you won't be able to stop it.
My cousin spends a lot of time at my grandparents house, and basically lives there, so they buy a lot of movies. Some of them really good movies, but also stuff like this. For some reason she loves this movie. And guess who has to do the chore of watching this movie with her?
I love how kids have absolutely zero reference for what's good and what's bad, so they sometimes end up latching on to the WEIRDEST stuff and genuinely enjoying it
Okay, as someone who grew up in Hawaii I have a few things I want to say. 1. Yes, the Menehune are small mythical people akin to like Brownies or Knockers...and my introduction to them was because they were the mascot for the Menehune Water Company. Yes. That's a real thing. 2. The Night Marchers...were GOOD guys? Like...No! Night Marchers are like the main ghost story told at every campfire. If you see them you're supposed to dive down, not look at them, and STAY THE HECK OUT OF THEIR WAY! Honestly, a Halloween movie about them would have been WAY more interesting than a roaring pineapple golem! 3. ...Okay, Saber, I've gotta say, literally every joke you had in this video about the director demanding better looking bread just had me rolling with laughter. Absolutely the funniest bit you've had in a long time, and those lines alone might have made the existence of this movie worth it.
Hey Saberspark! There's a pretty underrated 3D animated movie called "Ternet ninja" or "Checkered ninja" which is pretty edgy but doesn't hide the fact that it has now become one of my favorite animated movies solely because of it's "uniqueness". It'd be nice if you could review it at some point, thanks!
Me: "Wait, why are there sweet rolls, that's not even really a Hawaiian thing?" Saber: "The movie was made by the company that makes King's Hawaiian sweet rolls!" Me: "Aaaaah that explains it."
Fun fact! The lava lady in the movie is known as Pele! She’s the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes and the creator of the islands! The design they choose for her is absolutely crude though. As someone of Hawaiian decent, this depiction of her is heinous.
God I remember this hunk of crap, I was literally ranting & raving to my family about how fuccin stupid this movie was, meanwhile they were just like “breab”
we sell this movie at my work and every time I see it I think "this looks like something saberspark would review" so u can imagine how glad I was to watch this video
I kinda like the Pineapple Head's design in its cheesy simplicity. It feels like it could be a boss from some old PS1 game. Like game creators going "what should the boss in this tropical island setting be? Uhhhh...a giant with a pineapple for a head."
The coolest thing a house gave us for trick or treat, surprisingly, was these sort of chia pet monster dolls - like a little Frankenstein that had grass hair that would grow. They were fun.
You say Netflix would turn this down, but would they REALLY? Between all the mockbusters on the service and Cuties, they gladly would've accepted some of that sweet, sweet King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls (c) bread.
You people just LOOVE focusing on the negative 🤦♀️ here’s an idea: support the good shows on Netflix and maybe things will change instead of constantly bringing up old news. Ok? Ok!😅 thank you
3:40 as a straight person i can confirm that we regularly stomp on cars (this comment is satire btw im actually gay i just thought it was funny dont attack in the replies please im scared)
As someone who has actually consumed those sweet rolls, *it makes me never want to consume them, AGAIN.* Edit: 175. likes. and. 7. *comments.* Suspicious.
@@MasterKombatBro Right?! Is there a slump in sales I'm not aware of because most stores I go to usually have trouble keeping them in stock! This movie feels so unnecessary.
My parents always taught me not to take any candy that was opened or looked suspicious. If a person gave me sweet rolls as a halloween treat I would take it to not be rude, but I would throw it away when I got the chance, cause what if its poisoned or something?
@@jordanhunter3375 You want this video. ua-cam.com/video/xYouQESFE2A/v-deo.html But if you don't feel like it, a quick Google shows that the pineapple was brought over to Hawai'i by the Dole family from South America in the early 20th century. The only reason people think pineapples are from Hawai'i is the marketing campaign by Dole was very very successful.
The marketing campaign that basically advertised indentured servitude across the world. Just like the Banana empire scandal the people who were hired to work on pineapple plantations were lied to about their living conditions when they moved to Hawaii with no way of earning enough to go back. 😵 Big Fruit was wild.
@@1WEareBUFO1 Back in 1978 my brother went to Hawaii to work on a pineapple plantation. The company that did all the recruiting basically lied to the hundreds of young men who went each summer. Instead of the awesome opportunities and pay he was promised he got room, board, a pittance each week for sundries and at the end of the summer he got a check for $600. There is a special place in hell for the people who ran YDE (Youth Development Enterprises) for the scam they ran.
Do y'all think there are worse Halloween movies out there? If so, post em below and be CURSED
*No*
In my opinion Spookly the square pumpkin was a pretty cursed movie
No I dont
Probably not
Gargoyles?
"Looks like the volcano is erupting tonight, have fun kids." Is actually probably the most real Hawaiian this movie gets.
Ya
I will say, this is true.
Been there, can confirm 👍
Is that because they erupt so slowly out there, or is it like Kansans with tornadoes where we sit there on the lawn chair with a beer and watch the next neighborhood over get destroyed?
@@dr.altoclef9255 I believe that Volcanoes on the Big Island, while active to an extent, are not strong enough to reach any large towns and neighborhoods.
As someone that lives in the southern US, the fact that Kings Hawaiian went through all this trouble just for advertising baffles me, considering how people would fight each other for the hawaiian sweet rolls here.
Edit: What the hell is going on in the replies?
OH NOOOOOO!!! Most people agree that my vids are the worst on UA-cam. I agree to disagree. Please agree to disagree with the haters, dear c
By southern do you mean the area of the no-no Americans that existed in the 1860s
@@PurPurDot What?
@@MillieEyelash14 confederate states of America
Didnt expect to see you here
This is extra amazing considering King's Hawaiian isn't even a Hawaiian company. They're from Cali.
Of course, they aren't Hawaiian company. When has any US company that uses specific cultures to sell food EVER been part of that culture? Like I would have been shocked if they were Hawaiian.
@@twistedmyth5860 you're right. A lot of people believed they were actually Hawaiian. Someone tried to sue the company at one point when they learned they weren't actually Hawaiian, which I think is hilarious.
That's par for the course, for Cali. Like, when has Hollywood ever done justice to another culture's beliefs and mannerisms?
@@thetathunder2484 yeah, they're from South America.
its a californian based company owned by a japanese family
As a native Hawaiian who has lived in Hawaii my entire life, those are some of the whitest Hawaiian kids I've ever seen.
Bruhhhh, exact same thought lol omg
We make them in a factory.
To be fair I assumed the astronaut kid wasn't native.
You don't want to be associated with this movie.
💀
Why does the main character's model looks like they based it off the Bible Town boy model and just altered it by a bit?
Its the teeth, right?
@@devilishishere6549 its always the teeth
To me it looks like Hotel Transylvania with a pinch of Bible Town
Stock characters?
@Thx ❤ SHUT UP
'Menehune' are apparently like, dwarf-like beings that live in secluded forests and valleys, far from human civilization. They're apparently highly skilled craftspeople that could build houses, canoes and even entire temples (heiau) in the span of a night.
Lava-Lady is almost certainly Pele. She's powerful and passionate, but can be intensely jealous and is super capricious, like "Hi'aka, you're *my sister*, stop spending time with Hopoe instead, I'll kill them-".
Meanwhile the Nightmarchers are the ghosts of ancient warriors, who come forth from their burial sites/the ocean, and march to sacred places, beating drums and blowing horns and carrying torches. You can't stop them, basically they'll keep going until they get where they want to go. If you watch them or show disrespect towards them you die a horrible violent death. If you ever encounter them, you're supposed to basically throw yourself on the ground, face-down, to show like, fear and deference to them. It's also said that if one of your ancestors was among these warriors, you're safe.
EDIT: My limited reading suggests that sharks have a neutral or positive overall depiction in Hawaiian legends.
Pele’s brother Kāmohoali’i, the shark god, would appear in front of lost ships. He would guide them home in exchange for ‘awa (Kava root drink). I’ve also heard of Ukupanipo(who guides fish to fisherman) and myths of men who can become sharks.
Ya know. . . The more I learn about Hawaiian and Norse culture the more similarities I find. . . Just something odd I noticed. ..
I think I recall some legend about the sharks too…
@@austinmorrison6953 I think they have a deity who is tied to sharks. Like, some areas of Hawaii have a more benevolent view of sharks than mainlanders do.
@@dr.altoclef9255 now I remember! The shark man Nanaue
Sorry, what? "One of your ancestors" ?
Just how far back are we talking? Technically speaking we all have common ancestors so all that bullshit with fairytales mentioning "ancestors" is just blatantly stupid.
They also got the Nightmarchers mythologically incorrect. They’re malevolent spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors, so chances are, they would’ve been killing the kids with Pineapple Head.
Oh, how I wish that would’ve happened.
Now that would've been hilarious. They summon the spirits and then get slaughtered. I would have laughed so hard.
This would've worked as a screwball comedy where the kids do EVERYTHING wrong and die. XD
@@Alondro77 these character models are egregiously sh**ty they deserve to makaloa
Unless one of the kids is theirs. I mean the kid's grandpa is apparently super into the mythology so they could've had something about like, he's descended from some great warrior and thus is spared the chopping block because they recognize him.
@@dr.altoclef9255 see, that's an interesting concept. it would have been really cool for the film to explore that idea. but they didn't. they just plastered random Hawaiian stuff with zero regard for how accurate or interesting it is, which is a shame.
it would have been really nice for the film to actually make an attempt at teaching viewers about Hawaiian culture and mythology but instead they just wanted to sell bread
"HE'S STRAIGHT" was so unexpected.
Comedic gold.
Dear god…
@@do_you_see_banana_man I know, right? It has no right to be so funny, but I just can't even
Yeah gonna need that as a react gif
@@crashtefano confession: straight people are scary
-a straight person
@@do_you_see_banana_man heterophobic
“Dumb grandpa, gods and magic aren’t real. I’m gonna go casually see the anthro lion man now”
As someone who is Hawaiian and lives in the state, this movie is actually more funny than racist, stereotypical and stupid. The stereotypes are really far away from the truth and I just find it hilarious.
We also got Punalu’u sweet bread that’s slaps better than them rolls
Yo, send some? 👀
Yo how much for dat bread?
I'm interested in that. Where do I find this Punalu'u sweet bread?
The only things that remotely looks Hawaiian in this movie are Pele and the Night Marchers, and that isn’t exactly saying much XD.
Also which drink do you think is better Hawaiian Sun or Aloha Maid?
forreal. All I could think of is how the pineapple isn’t even native to Hawai’i and so it wouldn’t make any sense for the ancient Hawaiian spirit to have a pineapple for a head.
For a movie about bread, this movie sure didn’t make a lot of dough.
At least the writers were baked while making it.
Ba dum tis
Hm, I think that joke is a little stale
Ha nice
Yeah, you can tell animation wasn't their bread-and-butter. (ᗒᗨᗕ)
Off-brand Groot attacks island suburbia and is defeated by 3 kids, multiple Sonic the Crackhogs, low-resolution villain from Moana, and Avatar people from Walmart.
Lol I thought "Groot" as well when I saw it
@TheLatiosnlatias02 What other Groot bullshit do I have?
@TheLatiosnlatias02 Yes. Now what the fuck is wrong with that and why are you bothering?
@TheLatiosnlatias02 There's nothing wrong with Groot. 😤
Basically tldr of the entire movie's plot 💀
Of all the actual Hawaiian folklore in this film, what’s up with the pineapple head guy? Like, okay, a pineapple-headed monster, sure, but why attribute it to ancient Hawaiian folklore when pineapples aren’t even endemic to Hawai’i, and so a story like that wouldn’t even exist?
Why not make the story about the Nightmarchers? Their whole thing is that they march at night (obviously) and if you step in their path, they’ll walk over you and kill you, or kill you outright. If you hear the beating of their drums, you have to hide away inside, because it means they’re close, and their march is relentless and ceaseless. That would be a really cool opponent or obstacle for a story set on Halloween night. They could’ve even played down the nightmarchers by having them just steal people who get in their way, and maybe the kids encounter them while trick-or-treat-ing and have to get away, or they could make it really whimsical and the nightmarchers are out, but the kids insist on getting their candy and hijinks ensue, or something, I dunno.
I just think that Hawaiian folklore has a lot of genuinely creepy and interesting aspects to it (as with every culture), and they could’ve actually done something interesting with it instead of… whatever this was.
I'm sure you spent more time on this post than the writers spent on the movie.
I remember there was an episode of the Lilo and Stitch TV series that referenced the Nightmarchers, with Lilo challenging Myrtle in a Test of Courage to prove they were real.
True. And heck they could have even grabbed one of the deities to use, there are a few that are honestly terrifying. Hawaii has good lore if you bother to dig deep enough
Because that would require effort, and thinking.
I remember hearing about that in like, an episode of Lilo and Stitch even. They toned it down for the audience (Lilo says something along the lines of 'if they find you, they'll take you away and you'll never be seen ever again').
Gotta admit, a company that’s mainly know for producing bread was definitely one I was never expecting to make a freaking animated Halloween film.
@Logan Roof Plz stop it.
@Willy on Wheels Josh plz stop. Your music hurts to listen to.
Montgomery Ward created Rudolph and Coca-Cola created the image of Santa we know now.
@Logan Roof ua-cam.com/video/bPzXlIQ-drI/v-deo.html
Yeah, that is Really weird. It's like if Crest toothpaste suddenly decided to make a car to advertise Crest toothpaste. And not just put a bunch of their logos or something on a car, they just built a car from the ground up. It makes no sense.
"I don't care if the hamsters look like Sonic versions of fruit stripes bubble gum!"
LOL that is so painfully accurate
The sad thing is, those sweet rolls literally look like they're pulled out of a Resident Evil game. Made them as realistic as possible, but they don't look appetizing. They look like they're melting. The part that's supposed to be light and bready is lumpy and discolored. There are flecks of dark green stuff that looks like mold. The tops look sickly and discolored, and seem like they would be rock hard.
they look soggy somehow
They look like mashed potatoes.
Resident evil moment.
Dry as fuck, 🤢
they look like they are rotting
King’s Hawaiian sweet rolls aren’t bad, but the movie is.
Imagine not having a mustache lol
ua-cam.com/video/0CyJ7Micjq0/v-deo.html
The legend has arrived
Those sweet rolls are amazing
(ง'̀-'́)ง
You can just call this Cultural Appropriation: The Movie, especially when they butchered that Hawaiian mythical creature so hard. 😂😂
The few instances I've seen when CA was actually a problem. Kudos, my man 👍
A Halloween movie set in Hawaii does sound like a decent idea in my opinion, especially if it incorporates actual Hawaiian mythology, but this is certainly not the way to pull it off! Wouldn’t you agree?
I mean, considering it was made for commercial purposes in the first place, it should’ve been expected, lol. Also, yeah that sounds great.
I mean, Scooby Doo made it work.
I won't accept the existence of this movie. I hope y'all are with me.
@Logan Roof it costed you $0.00 to post that
Yeah agreed 😅 I love learning but NOT LIKE THIS!
Mark Hamill has to live with this movie being on his record
He was in Rapsittie Kids so he can live with this.
Eh it's overshadowed by all the great roles he is known for such as Joker and his voice acting in Skyrim. It's all good.
mark hamill has taken so many strange voice acting jobs
I bet he doesnt even remember being in this lol
He was in the star wars holiday special. He's fine
"these King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are great! King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are my favorite! nothing beats King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls!"
~Brock
"Mom, can we get the Halloween episode of Lilo and Stitch?"
"We have the Halloween episode at home."
The Halloween episode at home:
Yep.
I'd like to see a version of this meme with a follow up where the child returns the favor with the parent; i.e., 2021's Tom and Jerry at home, but it's that Itchy and Scatchy show from the Simpsons
These waters be full of pirates...
Sometimes I wish I never subscribed to Saberspark because he exposes you to movies that make you want to gather all of the TVs in your house and start a bonfire.
Yeah, but I kinda want a Hawaiian sweet roll now.
Lol what
I see your not used to it yet
@Logan Roof no one loves you
@Logan Roof You are the villain in this story
As someone who was born and raised in Honolulu, I find this movie offensive in a soul crushing way.... make it stop!
I feel the same way about Family Guy. Portraying our morbidly obese households as dimwitted celebrity-obsessed chicken fighters. I know fat people! I'M FRIENDS WITH ONE HIS NAME IS BOBBY GARRET AND HE DOES ALRIGHT.
The idea of some furry handing out unpackaged Hawaiian sweet rolls is honestly terrifying
Yummy Hawaiian Sweet Rolls! Now in new razor and roofie flavors, just in time for Halloween!
"Come little fella, worry not, that is just SUGAR GLAZE on those rolls, yes"
Some Creepy Furry.
Soggy Biscuit flash backs...
Especially nowadays, seeing the BLFG incident
@@ncisfan1002 please explain the BLFG incident I have yet to hear about that.
God damn, Arcana Studios finally mastered Jimmy Neutron-level of CGI.
Only took 20 years.
Now they just need to work on the voice acting
Now *that* was uncalled for! What did Jimmy Neutron ever do to deserve such vile slander and insult?
How they made that character say "I love King Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, they're the best" sounded too much like a sponsorship omg
reminded me of the sponsorship ads in Truman show, like the cocoa one😩
"I only date guys that drink Snapple"
- 30 Rock
Yup, this is basically what I expected a film made by a brand of sweet bread rolls would look like, though the furry was a bit of a surprise.
@just do it Shut up
That goddamn furry model was from a wizard of oz movie, I own that on dvd in fact
@@loganroofpedoexposer4952 Uhhh
@@pennysanchez7656i think we found the back ally crackhead
@@TheInfiniteGears Damn
Volcano Lady I think is suppose to be Pele. The Hawaiian Goddess of Volcanos. Pretty sure they took considerable liberties with her through
shes supposed to have light blonde hair like a form of volcanic glass, which is called, well, Pele's hair
@@gothgirlbethany Yup I'm laughing because pokemon referenced Pele's hair in gen 7 Alolan Diglett and dugtrio have blond hair as a reference it it
Oh yay… pansexual gang!☺️
King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are fire, but this is just a crime against humanity.
To be fair, king’s hawaiian rolls are delicious.
Id buy twenty if leather tiger was their mascot
I mean, they would appeal to a certain demographic if they did that.
@@twistedmyth5860 And?
@@zenny410 And nothing. It's just a fact.
@@twistedmyth5860 Okay
Owo
9:16 are we not gonna talk about how well edited that was?! 🤣
I was about to say the same thing 😂
Had better edits then the real movie 🤣
FR that was smooth 🤯
The Bread rolls were probably 3D scanned.. it wouldn't have costed much to make them look good
yeah there's a free app that does it decently enough for me to believe this movie might as well have used that
And yet, they failed to make the bread look tasty. You had ONE JOB, movie!
Cost*
They didnt look cooked all the way either lmao
Totally, it was just a platter of eggs and flour.
It's not a scary movie at all but the designs are terrifying.
You know, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a real thing. People dress up as pirates and get blackout drunk to honor a ball of spaghetti with two eyestalks, two meatballs, and no idea what he’s doing. I’m not kidding.
You're missing the part where it's legally accepted that a colander as a hat is considered religious headdress, so you can wear one in your Passport photo.
Okay, so.
1) The neighbor's model is from an OZ based movie, which means he's probably supposed to be The Cowardly Lion.
2) He judging from the way the children react, he is not always a lion, and it's a full moon, so he must be a were-lion.
3) He has no mane, which male lions normally have, indicating a lioness.
Conclusion: the neighbor is actually a trans-male werelion, living in Hawaii.
Now how's that for an interesting movie idea?
don't forget the bread
You monster...
Funny thing that's not the character model for the cowardly lion its one of lions from I think biker gang? There was a whole crew of them.
@@TheSupporter76 Okay, this Steampunk Oz movie is actually starting to sound kind of interesting. Regardless, that would still indicate that he is supposed to be a lion, so the point about him being trans due to lacking a mane but otherwise presenting as male remains.
@@DesMuttYS there are maneless male lions actually, they're namely located in a specific part of Africa, I forget where though. I know that there a was a movie based off a pair that killed some number of rail workers. Even though the steam engines has a star studded voice cast the movie is lack luster and really silly in parts. Its based off a comic of the same name that's way more interesting.
The sync with the kids mouth movements at the LotR reference made me think that was what his actual voice sounded like for a sec. And I actually didn't think anymore on it until he said "ring". Just straight up using adult voices for these kids is totally something that could have happened in this movie.
It would have been better if it was the case. lol
I genuinely thought this as well.
8:00 No, bigger question, WHY DID HE WINK AT THE CHILDREN???
He want some different kind of kings bread iykwim
My lord, this movie contains traces of a good idea. Its attempting to do horror with mythology. Mythology in any culture has tons of scary stuff you could use, you could emphasize the Hawaiian lore aspect, and try to be more faithful in the interpretation. And some good writing could make a good hawaiian horror movie.
I wont lie. I kinda like Pineapple heads design.
@@mistertagomago7974 Like I said, make a mythologically themed horror movie. IT would be great!
It really does look like they just exploited Hawaiian culture to make money. If literally anyone else made that it would probably be good.
Scaling up an 80° volcano in sandals. The Hawaiian side of the force is a pathway to abilities some would deem... Unnatural
Is it possible to learn that power?
@@sebdom7850
Not from a tourist
@@toagradius8856 Maybe from Moana or Steven Universe though
I love how, as much effort as went into the rolls, it went into a single roll, and they multiplied it.
Wouldn't have killed them to at least rotate them a little more so you don't see the same side's texture facing you from all the rolls.
At least the characters actually have facial rigging and don’t stare awkwardly into the abyss
Yep.
The only redeeming qualities are the 3d models
@@icewingdragon3297Excluding the hamsters.
@@wantedbird55srandomchannel28 and the bread
"The Lava Lady" appears to be Pele, the creator goddess, as well as the goddess of fire and volcanoes. But, that's just speculation.
As well as a rip off of Te Kā, who was inspired by Pelē.
No, that is Jebus Crust. You know Saber believes that everything that isn't the Jebus is make-believe.
@@markdittowisa2929 What the hell are you talking about?
Groudon
Saberspark: "We're all going to die."
Korone: "Oh I'm die. Thank you forever."
Yep.
Foreshadowing to his vTuber video. Spooky.
Can you imagine a mainland American equivalent? “I love these slices of Kraft Wonderbread! They’re the best!”
Also did the furry have a completely i acknowledged sentient ghost boyfriend??
i ship it
Yeah, I feel like people are so distracted by the leather daddy furry handing out sweet rolls that they don't even notice that his porch is haunted by what appears to be an actual ghost.
@@lanceturley7745 bahaha
@@lanceturley7745 he's just vibing though
@Mullerornis is commiting gen*cide a form of acknowledgment?
This reminds me of the fact that there's an RPG called Darkened Skye that exists to promote Skittles.
I actually really like that game lol still play to this day
Is it good though?
@@MyDogIsYoshi the game itself can be a little sticky with controls, bit I love the satire from characters. It takes itself lightly but still has a fun story and gameplay
and Zool for chupa chups
@@musicsheep9816 and the infamous movie Mac and Me for McDonalds
and the TV game show Save to Win for Family Dollar
This video taught me many things, the most important being that the hot Hawaiian lifeguard from Lilo and Stitch is a thing and has thighs that look like they can crush steel bars.
Chun Li has a word for you
This movie was pretty much a really long ad for Hawaiian rolls
"He's straight" truly horrifying
Twitter: (Rocking in a corner in a curled up ball whimpering)
I know I am very late to the party on this one, but did anyone else catch at @7:20 that the cougar man's chest becomes transparent and you can see the door frame through him?
I think it's just poor lighting but good catch nonetheless
The lava lady is most likely Pele, the Hawaiian volcano goddess. *Flexes Hawaiian heritage*
Oh god don't tell me they brought her into this mess, she deserves better
Flexes the fact that I've seen Moana
@@stephenlazarus3329 not the same thing but sure
*Flexes the fact that I got lost on a raft and saw all things after drinking salt water and died but gasp not really I was in a boat on dry land and it was Halloween*
I don't know where I was going with this.
@@deviantartguy0 sounds like opium
wait wait wait, I'm not hawaiian, but from what I understand with the lore of the Night Marchers, isn't interacting with them the LAST thing you want to do? like you're supposed to bow when you hear them coming to show reverence level of interaction.
Also not Hawaiian but I'm fascinated by folklore and mythology, and my understanding is that yeah, you aren't even meant to *look* at them.
@@mollyencrypted2488 from what I've read, some even say you're supposed to strip down to show full humility in front of them as you bow, or they get pissed
Night marcher survival rules:
1. If you hear them coming, they are loud as all the winds of a storm with pipes and horns and drums, Strip naked and throw yourself on the ground bowing before them
2. Do not look up, do not move, do not bring any attention to yourself
3. Pray one of your ancestors is in the march and if they call your name you remain bowing.
If you have done these things successfully you will be safe anything else means a horrible and painful death.
@@MrChaoticreign Ok, this is an awesome legend and I love it.....but this sounds ALL TOO EASY to prank someone with.
Dude, you should be a professional movie critic. You do a REALLY thorough breakdown of the entire movie, you pose a lot of good points about the animation, the dialogue, and story.
NGL a Furry in leather pants handing out sweetrolls sounds like the dream neighbor
I mean you can't go wrong with a neighbor who offers you free food.
I defiantly agree
Yep.
indeed
Oh absolutely. That dude is a catch
"Oh no! He's straight!"
*proceeds to die of laughter*
(6:57)I add as a resident of the island with the most active volcano that you can continue your daily activities even if the volcano is erupting BUT you can't go anywhere you want near the volcano there are some restrictions (sorry for my english its not my native language🙇♀️ )
I worked at a deli when this was being promoted, and we sold a lot of King’s Hawaiian products. The little hedgehog creatures were on the packaging.
There's one good thing that I got from this movie...well, it didn't came strictly from the movie, more like from the review: since Saberspark mentioned Hawaiian folklore and some creatures from it, I got interested in that. I love folklores and folklore creatures, so I'm always happy to learn about the more obscure ones
Folklore. That's a fantasy race made of paper and ink, right?
The only time I accept “make that bread detailed delicious and beautiful” is when yakuza did it
About that lava lady we see in the film, well she is part of hawaiian myths too. Her name is Pele, and she is the goddess of fire and volcanoes. Still, like the rest of the folklores we see, she isn't really put in the best light...
As a hawaiian living in hawaii I must say that kings hawaiian sweet rolls are made in California so pls don't blame us for this movie monstrosity but damn are they good
@Logan Roof what
@@grignap It's a bot, just report it
Wait, so is King's Hawaiian taking shots at Dole Pineapple?
"So there's a cougar furry in leather who bakes fresh sweet rolls and offers them to guests." Yeah, I probably know that guy.
Hearing this breakdown from someone who is totally unfamiliar with Hawaiian mythology was (no offense Saber) was hilarious. Lava lady!
This man cannot escape the furry grasp of these movies
So anyway, I call King’s Hawaiian bread “Orange Bread”. Because of the bag. I’ve done so for 15 years, I will do it for 100 years more.
Are they good?
@@admech590 Yeah, but they tend to go stale ridiculously fast
Ants also find them real fast if you don’t close the bag right
This Lilo and Stitch live-action remake looks very disappointing.
@fax Shut up, bot.
@@loganroofpedoexposer4952 Shut up!
@@pennysanchez7656 Fun fact: bots can't read, so asking them to do anything is a waste of time. Further, replying to spam makes it look more legit to the UA-cam Algorithm, so you're actually helping it by replying. Just report and move on.
@@HiddenWindshield Alright! I’ll stop it!
They turned stitch into bread
Scary Godmother was my favorite Halloween movie as a kid, and I got sad they don't air it on cartoon network anymore. I just found it so funny Saber saying Jimmy could take that pineapple dude, LMAO.
We all know that the "Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mount Doom?" question is stupid, but in the case of this one, it seems reasonable to ask "Why didn't they fly the helicopter over the volcano and drop the thing in instead of apparently parking it at the bottom and then hiking up?"
Now, this moose has not seen this movie. Perhaps they explain it, but he doubts it given everything else going on.
Does anyone else think when he did lotr oversound the lip sync was near perfect?
@Logan Roof you do realize everyone on this planet will hate your guts for this right? I don't care if your an attention seeking 7 year old or (god forbid) a full grown adult who thinks thisll get you some cool points on the internet, you do not make fun of someone's loss like this. If you wouldn't do it in real life, don't think you'll get off easy cause you're hidden behind a device and profile picture. The consequences for your actions will come, whether tomorrow, a few weeks, or a few years. It'll come, and you won't be able to stop it.
@Logan Roof Logan your like 10 go do your math homework
@Logan Roof wtf?
@@ukalaley9087 its a bot
That moment when someone catches you infiltrating r/LGBT: 3:45
My cousin spends a lot of time at my grandparents house, and basically lives there, so they buy a lot of movies. Some of them really good movies, but also stuff like this.
For some reason she loves this movie. And guess who has to do the chore of watching this movie with her?
You have my condolences
im so sorry
I wish you all the strength in the world, and by doing so you will be forever unfazed by the bad movies to come in the future
I love how kids have absolutely zero reference for what's good and what's bad, so they sometimes end up latching on to the WEIRDEST stuff and genuinely enjoying it
@@EVERYWHEREinc That's why some companies want to cater to kids so much. They know that kids don't care about quality.
Of course! Yes! The Hawaiian shirt means the grandfather is Hawaiian. Finally, I can say now Ben 10 teaches me culture!
I love how you can tell the sweet rolls are all the same exact model because they couldn't be bothered to rotate any of them more than 45 degrees.
"Make our generic looking sweet rolls look good." Fails measurably.
Okay, as someone who grew up in Hawaii I have a few things I want to say.
1. Yes, the Menehune are small mythical people akin to like Brownies or Knockers...and my introduction to them was because they were the mascot for the Menehune Water Company. Yes. That's a real thing.
2. The Night Marchers...were GOOD guys? Like...No! Night Marchers are like the main ghost story told at every campfire. If you see them you're supposed to dive down, not look at them, and STAY THE HECK OUT OF THEIR WAY! Honestly, a Halloween movie about them would have been WAY more interesting than a roaring pineapple golem!
3. ...Okay, Saber, I've gotta say, literally every joke you had in this video about the director demanding better looking bread just had me rolling with laughter. Absolutely the funniest bit you've had in a long time, and those lines alone might have made the existence of this movie worth it.
Hey Saberspark! There's a pretty underrated 3D animated movie called "Ternet ninja" or "Checkered ninja" which is pretty edgy but doesn't hide the fact that it has now become one of my favorite animated movies solely because of it's "uniqueness".
It'd be nice if you could review it at some point, thanks!
I haven't seen cgi bread get this much attention since Yakuza: Like a dragon.
Me: "Wait, why are there sweet rolls, that's not even really a Hawaiian thing?"
Saber: "The movie was made by the company that makes King's Hawaiian sweet rolls!"
Me: "Aaaaah that explains it."
Dio: How many loaves of bread have you eaten in your lifetime?
@@LeeroyPorkins Too much my dude
They made an entire movie, a terrible one at that, just to advertise bread. Wow.
@@jojoreference945 DIOOOOOOOO!
@Logan Roof Dude, just, no, do you even realize what you just said?
Fun fact! The lava lady in the movie is known as Pele! She’s the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes and the creator of the islands! The design they choose for her is absolutely crude though. As someone of Hawaiian decent, this depiction of her is heinous.
The dialogue in the furry guy scene is so weirdly paced, i expected Tommy Wiseau to show up and ask to buy a dozen red roses.
Yes!! It reminded me of the Hi doggie. You're my favorite customer
Kid: "cooool" living banana: *thumbs up* "Dole!"
Looks like Tony the Tiger is going through some rough times.
Loool
Bruh he looks like that gay cougar from that French soda commercial.
"Fresh Baked Films." Those rolls aren't even freshly baked when you get them at the store.
Wow King from Tekken really went down hill after his wrestling career.
I guess it's hard not to when the King of Iron Fist gets canceled.
Oh my god
God I remember this hunk of crap, I was literally ranting & raving to my family about how fuccin stupid this movie was, meanwhile they were just like “breab”
Mmmmmmmmmm breab
Delicious breab...
Is the breab even any good though?
Yummy hawaiian breab
OK but the breab looks good
we sell this movie at my work and every time I see it I think "this looks like something saberspark would review" so u can imagine how glad I was to watch this video
Fun fact: Kings Hawaiian Rolls are made in California.
Also would love to see a Christmas movies tier list, when Christmas rolls around.
It was founded in Hilo , Hawaii in 1950 before moving to l.a.
this came out as soon as i finished setting up stuff for halloween
perfect timing
I kinda like the Pineapple Head's design in its cheesy simplicity. It feels like it could be a boss from some old PS1 game.
Like game creators going "what should the boss in this tropical island setting be? Uhhhh...a giant with a pineapple for a head."
Yea me too
"But don't worry, the kids believe in the power of Jesus Christ"
Hey, I've seen this one before
Realistically, I’d trick or treat for some Hawaiian sweet rolls. Those things are dope.
Might be smart to get them still packaged though...
The coolest thing a house gave us for trick or treat, surprisingly, was these sort of chia pet monster dolls - like a little Frankenstein that had grass hair that would grow. They were fun.
They're great, especially when you make cheeseburger sliders out of them 😋
Was the Wilhelm Scream at 10:27 in the original film? If so, I'd say it was the film's high point.
You say Netflix would turn this down, but would they REALLY? Between all the mockbusters on the service and Cuties, they gladly would've accepted some of that sweet, sweet King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls (c) bread.
Probably not. If it thinks there's money involved, it will promote it.
You people just LOOVE focusing on the negative 🤦♀️ here’s an idea: support the good shows on Netflix and maybe things will change instead of constantly bringing up old news.
Ok? Ok!😅 thank you
Cuties made me feel things
@Logan Roof WTF is wrong with you!? That's disgusting
Son: Hey mom, can I get Hotel Transylvania?
Mom: We already have Hotel Transylvania at home.
Hotel Transylvania at home:
Moana*
I love when Saberspark gets legitimately mad at a crap movie
7:17 A large cat man in leather pants, who hands out King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls on Halloween.
Because why not.
@Logan Roof random shit.
Because why not.
That furry is disappointed he can't hook up with the pineapple monster.
3:40 as a straight person i can confirm that we regularly stomp on cars
(this comment is satire btw im actually gay i just thought it was funny dont attack in the replies please im scared)
9:53 I think that is supposed to be Pele the Hawaiian goddess of vulcanos
As someone who has actually consumed those sweet rolls, *it makes me never want to consume them, AGAIN.*
Edit: 175. likes. and. 7. *comments.* Suspicious.
I've never eaten or heard of them until now, and I'm happy for that. If I ever eat them now I'll probably feel sick from thinking of this movie. XD
Eat them
No joke they are awesome, no idea why it needed advertising like this
@@MasterKombatBro Right?! Is there a slump in sales I'm not aware of because most stores I go to usually have trouble keeping them in stock! This movie feels so unnecessary.
@Logan Roof dont you have anything better to do in life?
I haven't heard the word "jabroni" since The Rock still wrestled.
Anyone who played Danganronpa V3 heard the word "jabroni" often enough in one scene to never want to hear it again
My parents always taught me not to take any candy that was opened or looked suspicious. If a person gave me sweet rolls as a halloween treat I would take it to not be rude, but I would throw it away when I got the chance, cause what if its poisoned or something?
... Considering pineapples aren't even native to Hawai'i, there's so many things wrong with this that I can't even.
So where did they come from?
@@jordanhunter3375 You want this video. ua-cam.com/video/xYouQESFE2A/v-deo.html
But if you don't feel like it, a quick Google shows that the pineapple was brought over to Hawai'i by the Dole family from South America in the early 20th century. The only reason people think pineapples are from Hawai'i is the marketing campaign by Dole was very very successful.
The marketing campaign that basically advertised indentured servitude across the world. Just like the Banana empire scandal the people who were hired to work on pineapple plantations were lied to about their living conditions when they moved to Hawaii with no way of earning enough to go back. 😵 Big Fruit was wild.
@@1WEareBUFO1 Back in 1978 my brother went to Hawaii to work on a pineapple plantation. The company that did all the recruiting basically lied to the hundreds of young men who went each summer. Instead of the awesome opportunities and pay he was promised he got room, board, a pittance each week for sundries and at the end of the summer he got a check for $600. There is a special place in hell for the people who ran YDE (Youth Development Enterprises) for the scam they ran.
@@Bardic_Knowledge capitalism is the best isn't it?