How to Converse Like a Man, Not a Boy

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  • Опубліковано 17 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @fernandocamacho5088
    @fernandocamacho5088 4 роки тому +185

    1) Pick your fights.
    2) Set and know the terms under discussion.
    3) Seek to learn and to educate, not to win.
    4) Discuss with intellectual honesty.
    5) Know your information.

  • @infj-tguy6275
    @infj-tguy6275 Рік тому +2

    A truly skilled warrior knows when to fight and when not to fight for not every battle is worth winning

  • @thomashewlett277
    @thomashewlett277 4 роки тому +54

    "Does this serve me?" is such a powerful question to ask yourself.

    • @Beyondthesurfacewithmichael
      @Beyondthesurfacewithmichael 4 роки тому +1

      You're so right. Asking this question will move you right past the over-thinking and into the exact answer you need, yes or no. I apply this a lot in my life and its helped me out so much.

    • @carpo719
      @carpo719 3 роки тому +1

      the MOST important one too

  • @TheLunarZone
    @TheLunarZone 4 роки тому +123

    This man gives the fatherly talks I never got as a kid

    • @156x
      @156x 4 роки тому

      I second that!

    • @dillonburt324
      @dillonburt324 4 роки тому +4

      He answers the questions that I'm afriad to ask my grandpaw.

    • @ApricotData474
      @ApricotData474 3 роки тому +5

      Right! I was literally taught none of what he talks about when I was a kid.

    • @Stan_mile
      @Stan_mile 3 роки тому

      so much truth!

  • @shade9406
    @shade9406 4 роки тому +47

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge and opinions.
    "Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words."
    Proverbs 23:9

    • @dasfx2895
      @dasfx2895 2 роки тому

      Imma remember that ☝🏾

  • @Beyondthesurfacewithmichael
    @Beyondthesurfacewithmichael 4 роки тому +39

    These principles play alot into a person's values and character. I know who I am and who I'm not.

  • @CLM1987
    @CLM1987 4 роки тому +31

    A great man once said "If a man uses profanity it shows his vocabulary is getting sparse." Always felt it helps getting a point across without using profanity

    • @jamesborek8125
      @jamesborek8125 4 роки тому +6

      I'm admittedly a bit of a blue collar dirtball at work(mechanic), and we cuss like sailors. It's unfortunately carried over into my more civilized life here and there, an absent minded "F that S!" when it's not quite appropriate..
      That said. I've notice that when the little hairs stand up, and it's time to make my point very clearly too someone that I don't cuss much at all. Just very clear, very concise, too the point.
      I agree it gets your point across more clearly. If it turns into a "F U" match nothing is being communicated, and thus is usually ends up physical. Which just is not a good outcome in today's litigious society.

    • @shawnpritchard366
      @shawnpritchard366 Рік тому

      Fuck that.

    • @PatAdams-c6u
      @PatAdams-c6u Рік тому +1

      Fuckin aye

    • @caleblee5489
      @caleblee5489 Рік тому

      Ever try explaining something four or five different ways, but the dunce is still unreceptive? Vocabulary is getting pretty sparse after the fifth itteratiion. "The fing dojigger right fing there you fing f"

  • @twodayrecovery
    @twodayrecovery 4 роки тому +29

    I learned while earning a bachelors degree in communications that soft start, receiver approach, and active listening are some of the fundamental pillars to effective interpersonal communication.

    • @scienceegypt7291
      @scienceegypt7291 4 роки тому +1

      BP ... By the way. I have the same degree and have not been able to use it. Have to pay for it of course. Had to fall back on my old job. Disillusioned!. What do you use yours for?

    • @twodayrecovery
      @twodayrecovery 4 роки тому +4

      @@scienceegypt7291 bruh dude I feel your pain. I turned a tv internship into a job during my last semester. I worked there for 5 years. Started in news dept, got promoted to commercial production from pure grit - then to promotions producer, then to advertising account executive (ad sales). I finally made some real money in ad sales, saved most of it, and then started over completely, left the station and earned a second degree in music and I now teach high school classical guitar.
      Like you, I was pretty disappointed with my career prospects after my communications degree. Seemed like either tv, sales, or public relations, none of which were aspirations of mine at the time I earned the degree. The courses were great and I obtained a ton of skill that I use in my everyday life, but you're right there's little direction as far as specific careers. When you get a nursing degree you go nurse. When you get a communications degree wtf do you do? Haha.
      Get in anywhere you can. When I started at the station I made less than I did delivering pizzas. I worked hard, learned from mistakes, stayed positive overall and made small advancements. At that point, I formulated a plan, prepared and saved, then when the time was right jumped ship. Its was a hard struggle after that too, but that's because of the direction I chose. A music degree is way more intense than a comm degree and I had zero time for friends with school and a couple part time night jobs.
      You might get in somewhere and move up the ladder and love it. Or you might find a certification, i.e. graphic design, mechanics, hvac, etc that can get you in on something you like and the skills and degree itself can help you advance within a job or company.
      I completely get where you're coming from. Feel free to reply I'm happy to add perspective if I can. You kinda just got to get more specific about what you want to do career wise and dig in. If you can't think of specifically where you want to go, just take anything and work to turn it into something more over time.

    • @twodayrecovery
      @twodayrecovery 4 роки тому

      @Joe Cosgrove shit, no one ever said that to me with my bachelors. It's all what you do with it.

  • @rossmcmurdo3541
    @rossmcmurdo3541 4 роки тому +7

    I'm guilty of many of these things without even realising. Thankyou for this video as if will give me things to work on to grow as a man.

  • @axlent123
    @axlent123 3 роки тому +4

    Not a boring topic. Not unlike teaching someone how to sharpen a knife. Or sharpen an ax, or sharpen a chainsaw chain. The sharper our conversation skills are, the better we will converse.
    I don’t know how many times I’ve responded to some social media comment, something where I disagree, and instead of actually posting my response, I just delete the entire response and move on.
    And some of my best social media comments have been through private messaging the person, instead of throwing out my response for the whole world to read.
    Plus it doesn’t hurt to take the time to be thoughtful about what you are saying, and consider how it will be heard by the listener.

  • @mitchnidey2453
    @mitchnidey2453 3 роки тому +1

    It is very important for us to stay humble. It's hard to follow after a prideful man. When we realize that we can learn from the experience of others, we open ourselves up to intellectual growth.

  • @mitchnidey2453
    @mitchnidey2453 3 роки тому

    I'm praying for you and everyone who listens to your videos.

  • @Dr.Pepperdave
    @Dr.Pepperdave 3 роки тому +1

    Everyone should listen to this.

  • @rajenetreasuretv4076
    @rajenetreasuretv4076 3 роки тому +1

    Appreciate men like you

  • @zaheeruddeen1447
    @zaheeruddeen1447 4 роки тому +9

    A man u r a true man.
    I love u
    I love every podcast u make.
    Keep it up we all hold your back

  • @williamsonnie9935
    @williamsonnie9935 3 роки тому +3

    Great talk Ryan. I’ve been guilty of getting sucked into arguments myself and I’ve been more selective. Can you talk more about setting boundaries and having healthy boundaries...

  • @twodayrecovery
    @twodayrecovery 4 роки тому +13

    A communications course should be a requirement for high school graduation imho. One that covers both interpersonal and mass communications. This would help everyone consume media more responsibly, i.e. cable news, advertisements - and it would help everyone communicate more effectively in multiple situations, i.e. intercultural, small group, organizational, public speaking, etc. Like you said, this stuff is common knowledge. It can require a little unpacking and practice, but it's not overly difficult to improve communication.

    • @J.B.1982
      @J.B.1982 2 роки тому

      For sure, like many other course ideas that should be basic. The question is, why would state run schools want to facilitate that?

  • @estebanmunoz7486
    @estebanmunoz7486 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you sir. Amazing content. And your English is quite clear so perfect for non-native English speakers like me. Greetings from Costa Rica. God bless you and your family... and all the dudes listening this show

  • @zackarybearden3399
    @zackarybearden3399 3 роки тому +1

    Every video you make helps me better myself as a person. I’m progressing more and more every day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Keep making video’s!!

  • @cardealershipgod8433
    @cardealershipgod8433 Рік тому +1

    Kindly share more of this logical fallacies
    Very intelligent topics 🤝

  • @balamuralim8482
    @balamuralim8482 3 роки тому +1

    I have accidentally stumbled upon your videos here and great values in your videos! Helps a lot becoming a MAN especially having lost a father figure so early in my life! Heartfelt thanks and respect! ❤️

  • @lawsemaj
    @lawsemaj 7 місяців тому

    New to this channel and I'm very happy I found it... subscribed

  • @bobthegamer1880
    @bobthegamer1880 4 місяці тому

    Excellent segment.

  • @GG-bl2vm
    @GG-bl2vm 4 роки тому +4

    Great lesson.
    Thank you for helping me improve myself.
    I truly appreciate what you are doing.

  • @pandabear631
    @pandabear631 3 роки тому +2

    The real problem/breakdown is when someone truly truly holds your heart in their hand but has no ear to lend, no respect in pocket, no kindness to share and if you leave, your children suffer the most. Yeah...you lose your voice after years of this situation and there is no solution found with tools of love and sanity, and no matter the angle of approach you wake every morning to find yourself at the mercy of another.....the worst part is you realize you yourself created the situation, you have spoiled her and given even when you did not receive, because you thought love was supposed to be selfless and that one day she would grow and mature to see the sacrifices you make...so you let the disrespect slide and tell yourself “I’m a bigger man for it”...Im responsible for the situation I’m in...just don’t do the same.

  • @contempt4u257
    @contempt4u257 2 роки тому

    MY MAN ty, for this and all the content... keep up the good fight people will see your work eventualy... best love from a teen tryin... thanks again

  • @synthWizkid
    @synthWizkid 3 роки тому

    Dude u totally dropped some knowledge. Much respect i wish more people were like u.

  • @edwardjenkins9220
    @edwardjenkins9220 3 роки тому

    im not disclosing anything sorry if i did in the first place and im not sure about what it was anyways. , this is an amazing place coming to find out. thank you so much for helping me get the support that i didnt get growing up or i should say growing older not up. i never knew how many people would take the time to care. its remarkable. But thank you and im sorry for ever doubting that woman.

    • @edwardjenkins9220
      @edwardjenkins9220 3 роки тому

      and doubting any capability of myself to do what i need to.

  • @ApexHerbivore
    @ApexHerbivore 4 роки тому +3

    Damn bro, you got me on a couple of those. The ego has a lot to answer for.
    I wonder how many hours of my life you just saved me. Thank you. 👊

  • @richardkrause9692
    @richardkrause9692 3 роки тому +1

    I agree with WHOLE message in this video.

  • @BarryKibrickOfficial
    @BarryKibrickOfficial 4 роки тому +4

    As always, so right on! A great book on the topic dear Ryan is "Crucial Conversations" by Joseph Grenny, et al. One of the best topics on my own show. The key is to benefit the person you are having the question with so that they grow.

  • @cassienicole3382
    @cassienicole3382 4 роки тому +1

    I watch your videos so I can teach my son the things I agree with and I thank you for these gems

  • @frederickfoxworth1265
    @frederickfoxworth1265 Рік тому

    I really enjoyed this insight.

  • @josephridge3646
    @josephridge3646 3 роки тому

    This is one of the most informative podz i have encountered this year ! The conversations we need!

  • @CalvinJamesJr
    @CalvinJamesJr 4 роки тому +8

    I would say stay calm cool and collected at all times. Never let get under ur skin

  • @sethw997
    @sethw997 2 роки тому

    Good stuff. It's good to see things like this on here

  • @hesaysyestolife
    @hesaysyestolife 4 роки тому

    Great point about not invoking an unrecognized authority.

  • @FitFoundationsUK
    @FitFoundationsUK 3 роки тому

    Great point about knowing what you’re talking about, our brains are wired to make out that we do know if we’re ever in a situation where we don’t, so we need to be conscious of this in conversations to override that impulse to remain credible. 👍🏻

  • @twshatney
    @twshatney 3 роки тому +1

    Communication is key.

  • @ale.g.x.667
    @ale.g.x.667 3 роки тому +2

    Being mature is "MANdatory" in all situations. 🤙🤙🤘 that's what I got from this vid. In a nutshell. Thank you sir.

  • @FitFoundationsUK
    @FitFoundationsUK 3 роки тому

    Just came across your podcast via UA-cam, fantastic conversations, great messages. Subscribed straight away and can’t wait to see and hear more. 🤜🏻🤛🏻

  • @danielchurilla5699
    @danielchurilla5699 3 роки тому

    Thank you for this podcast.

  • @darrensaunders9927
    @darrensaunders9927 3 роки тому

    Good job fella

  • @russholcomb
    @russholcomb 5 місяців тому

    its the end of days my friend,you are a honorable man, but nothing can stop whats coming 😔 god bless you all, prepare for what is coming,........

  • @advarquitectos
    @advarquitectos 3 роки тому

    Great content, been following you on Twitter for sometime, I agree with you more often than not, I'm really glad you're putting out this toughts.

  • @extremepoll1115
    @extremepoll1115 4 роки тому +14

    Your beard is a true sign of virility and manhood

  • @arashghanbari5907
    @arashghanbari5907 4 роки тому

    Great video Ryan. And an underrated topic which is in fact very important in our daily lives.

  • @michaelpolitz1144
    @michaelpolitz1144 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for making this vid, exactly what I needed to hear

  • @doubleoddbs4357
    @doubleoddbs4357 4 роки тому

    Everything you said makes total sense ! I’m subscribed. !

  • @dp-hr8wb
    @dp-hr8wb 2 роки тому

    Talk less, listen more has helped me out quite a bit.

  • @functionalaestheticse.c.8953
    @functionalaestheticse.c.8953 2 роки тому

    Interesting point about referencing a higher authority that the other person does not acknowledge. Makes sense.

  • @italianozuzu1232
    @italianozuzu1232 11 місяців тому

    Time its not money . Time its life . Enjoy life . Every day enjoy it could be your last.

  • @TheSoares500
    @TheSoares500 4 роки тому

    Hey @Order of Man i love your videos and this one espacilly good for me. Could you make (or already made) a video especificly about setting the bouderies of the conversation? I think thats my stiking point. Thanks for the value you provide

  • @ExaucementKOUASSI
    @ExaucementKOUASSI Рік тому

    Incredibile advice, I love it

  • @snakesocks
    @snakesocks 4 роки тому +2

    I used to think that your vocabulary was simply the means by which you express thoughts that would exist regardless. I then learned that it's far more of a feedback loop and your vocabulary _informs_ your ability to construct complex thoughts. I've made an effort to speak & write in a more deliberate manner since.
    I have a friend who has not done this. It was tolerable in our twenties but we're both thirty now and he still talks like a child. It's becoming an effort to talk to him because his sentences are so scattershot and disjointed. The few formed opinions that he does have, he can't express effectively; he gets frustrated and trends towards swearing constantly. Last time I saw him, he would only talk about other people and TV references.

  • @pkornmeyer
    @pkornmeyer 3 роки тому +2

    I'm late to this conversation but I'd like to make an observation. I like what you have to say and I think you hit the nail on the head. One of your points, however, that I take issue with is your disparagement of the appeal to authority. While this is sometimes a logical fallacy--namely, if the "authority" really has no authority (some movie star says I should drive an electric car), it is fallacious. However, often the argument from authority is not fallacious, but valid and even sound. The problem is that it is generally the weakest of (valid) arguments.
    This is not always the case, though. Despite the "expert" being a political weapon in recent years, there is a legitimate sense in which one can safely appeal to an expert as a valid source of argumentation. For instance, to say "The world expert in Homeric literature argues that X," even if we ourselves do not see the truth of what they say for ourselves, it is an act of intellectual humility to bow to the superior intelligence of others when appropriate. The danger in rejecting the appeal to authority is a kind of solipsistic rationalism of "I will only believe that which I can verify and see for myself, and not anything more." This type of knowledge is surely deeper and more solid, but certainly not the only legitimate degree of knowledge.
    Even when an authority is not shared between interlocutors, this does not preclude the appeal to authority in conversation. A Christian might tell a Muslim that the Muslim's understanding of Christianity is faulty; he would appeal to the authority of Scripture, the Fathers, or other learned Christians to demonstrate this.
    Finally, even in Scripture itself, there are countless instances of the rhetorical "argumentation" of prophets and apostles involving an appeal to authority that is not necessarily shared by the interlocutor. An example would be Jonah's preaching in Nineveh. The Church Fathers, too, often took the apologetic tactic of providing evidence of the truth of their claims by appealing to the ancient prophecies and how they were fulfilled in Christ, a tactic that was effective not only among Jews but among Gentiles as well.
    I understand what you are saying in this video about the problems of appeal to authority, and I agree with you; but I think that your criticism is too far-sweeping and it actually ignores some very important distinctions that end up obscuring the truth of what you're trying to say.
    Thoughts?

  • @RedSeaCrossing_81
    @RedSeaCrossing_81 3 роки тому

    This information is meat for the man soul.

  • @raularmas317
    @raularmas317 2 роки тому

    Issues of: Substance- (represent your values as well as you can).
    Issues of Style: defending these may not/probably not worth the cost emotionally most of the time.

  • @WarriorPrime1
    @WarriorPrime1 4 роки тому

    Great guidance . Thank you sir.

  • @ElijahMCbeats
    @ElijahMCbeats 4 роки тому +1

    Pick your fights - dont be quarrelsome. Always at the center of controvercy.

  • @W2Capitalist
    @W2Capitalist 4 роки тому

    Nice job Mr Michler!

  • @ralfgroh5967
    @ralfgroh5967 4 роки тому

    Straight and to the point. Love it... Thx!

  • @irvg.9307
    @irvg.9307 3 роки тому

    Fire content sir...

  • @NYCBigBull
    @NYCBigBull Рік тому

    Epic stache... It's huge!!!

  • @raularmas317
    @raularmas317 2 роки тому

    I get/understand that IF you (as a man) are not experiencing the kind of cooperative/collegial work experience that you would prefer on the job where you might have a boss that leans heavily on his title for his authority/empowerment rather than having sound reasons for his/her actions or priorities that you can fall prey to "a win at any cost attitude" toward conversations that start out seemingly friendly-- it's just not worth it to burn those kind of familial "bridges/relationships"-- is it?

  • @jkevinsmith7431
    @jkevinsmith7431 3 роки тому

    Well said! pick your battles. A little research into narcissist's traps, tendencies...Eye opening.

  • @ModernWarrior_2.0
    @ModernWarrior_2.0 2 роки тому

    Awesome content Ryan, your last point, so the only way you can have a conversation with someone is if you both agree on christianity? Is this not seeking a confirmation bias? So long as we both agree on this relegious belief then we can have a conversation is your premise. For the record, christianity does not have a monopoly on Spritiuality or "God"... I respect religion by the way, it gives a lot of people a guideline and compass for life.

  • @jacobvijayan16
    @jacobvijayan16 4 роки тому

    thanks for this podcast , i have gained lot .

  • @alexgarzon4764
    @alexgarzon4764 4 роки тому +2

    Can you please make a video how to imprint real manhood on your child, when I’m still working on that. It would be well appreciated it.

  • @carpo719
    @carpo719 3 роки тому +1

    Stoicism is the essential knowledge

  • @hermannnakwatumbah4025
    @hermannnakwatumbah4025 4 роки тому

    This is great stuff

  • @santinonicassioortiz2655
    @santinonicassioortiz2655 4 роки тому +9

    I am stupid but thought he was going to talk about shoes when I first saw the title

  • @juanegonzalez6001
    @juanegonzalez6001 4 роки тому

    thank you for what youre doing

  • @Mountainfella
    @Mountainfella 4 роки тому

    Great video, have awesome weekend.

  • @raularmas317
    @raularmas317 2 роки тому

    Time once spent can never be recovered.
    Money, on the other hand can be recouped several times over despite bankruptcies.

  • @ExaucementKOUASSI
    @ExaucementKOUASSI Рік тому

    I've already picked my filed

  • @WakeupwithYacob
    @WakeupwithYacob 9 місяців тому

    Ahhh it’s a relief that I’m pretty caught up with being a man. Just had to double check because delusion is so rampant everywhere and it’s throwing me off my game

  • @iammoemcdonald
    @iammoemcdonald 4 роки тому

    Good stuff

  • @TheMasonator777
    @TheMasonator777 4 роки тому

    How do you decide whether a conversation that you truly believe serves the world, but not yourself, is worth the time?

  • @johnpeterson2987
    @johnpeterson2987 3 роки тому

    Arguments on line are pointless. I used to do it all the time and my life is no better off from doing that sort if thing.

  • @Birkarl_
    @Birkarl_ 4 роки тому +4

    This sort of conversation only works if the other side is also there to converse. Increasingly these days, they are not.

    • @nickcarducci3413
      @nickcarducci3413 3 роки тому +1

      exactly, everyone is so self absorbed, they think they are the center of the universe, and there is just no way to get their attention, other than making your voice heard, maybe angering them

  • @notedgems
    @notedgems 4 роки тому

    3 my fav

  • @michaelcoblentz6897
    @michaelcoblentz6897 3 роки тому

    Hey just wanted to point out that Yourlogicalfallacyis looks to be a pretty left leaning website, if I’m incorrect I apologize.

  • @ricardoarellano5776
    @ricardoarellano5776 3 роки тому

    Hey wher e can i get one of you r hat?

  • @jordanlitts649
    @jordanlitts649 3 роки тому

    If a win for the other person is their soul saved and not a temporary (this life) knowledge gained then wouldn't it always be appropriate to appeal to scripture as your ultimate authority? Wouldn't this also be intellectually and logically consistent and honest because it is the foundation of your worldview? If scripture is inerrant and infallible and Romans (apostle Paul) speaks of the lost as suppressing the truth (of God) in their unrighteousness then it make it very appropriate to appeal to the scriptures as the ultimate authority because regardless if the person accepts the God of the Bible as their ultimate authority, he still is.

  • @raisingantifa2123
    @raisingantifa2123 3 роки тому

    I disagree with most of your content. This one is good. Cheers.

  • @loganeley2342
    @loganeley2342 3 роки тому

    Connect

  • @jerrycannon6940
    @jerrycannon6940 3 роки тому +1

    I don't like small talk. It drains me.

  • @ashply4306
    @ashply4306 3 роки тому

    My mind is in good pain

  • @WickWars101
    @WickWars101 4 роки тому

    Does Anyone Else Like that Blue Room that is so Easy on the Eyes ,i like , because thats so important lol

  • @alfredthompson1556
    @alfredthompson1556 3 роки тому

    Na, this just makes sense.

  • @marccano5061
    @marccano5061 Рік тому

    I must chime in,"when did stop cheating on your wife?",,,,, This is better known as a "leading question",,,,you learn this in first year of law school.

  • @charlesedward313
    @charlesedward313 3 роки тому

    God the all mighty enigma hands down u can't be intellectually honest with said topic that's how it works

  • @TheBmonster1
    @TheBmonster1 Рік тому

    Hard to use the intent to educate when my wife who has opposite beliefs than me doesn't want to be educated just wants me to shut up

  • @GraveRave
    @GraveRave 4 роки тому

    💯🔥

  • @chrishugs6173
    @chrishugs6173 4 роки тому

    First, also what I’ve been looking for.

  • @brendonmeltz
    @brendonmeltz 3 роки тому

    An appeal to authority is not always fallacious. The Bible is the word of God and God can not lie . So everything in the Bible is true. A denial of the authority of scripture does not change its truth value.
    With out scripture you must use your own reasoning to validate your own reasoning to determine truth which is invalid reasoning.

  • @ApricotData474
    @ApricotData474 3 роки тому

    Talking to the wife is a losing battle 97% of the time

  • @elxero2189
    @elxero2189 Рік тому

    It starts at 4:10 bro takes for ever to get to the point....

  • @greyjedi4794
    @greyjedi4794 3 роки тому

    Problem is... you can't use logic in a group of people (liberals) who argue based on feelings.