Butch(+) | a Detrans Story, with Terffy
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2024
- Part of a series: bit.ly/DeTrans...
Terffy didn't think she fit in as a woman, so she tried her hand at being a "transman"-but fit there even less.
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Thank you everyone for watching my story, and thank you Benjamin for providing me a space to talk about my story! Much love!
so sorry for what they did to you, you were just a kid, I think same age as my daughter, they are butchers and this shit will be stopped. Thank you for sharing your story, if it stops one confused kid from going under the butchers knife you are a hero, God bless youx
@@Mk-cn9xw❤️🙏🏻
you are cool
You have your struggles, but comes across as a nice, kind, courageous and bright :) Your gallows humour and wit is also important.
Thanks for sharing! Your thoughts are clear as water and you sound like a beautiful person. it seems to me, you can be proud of your wisdom. It was especially brave to share you religiousness in today's times 😊🙏
Having had a mastectomy age 42 as a result of breast cancer, I still have the itch that can never be eased, still have the scar pain, discomfort and numbness.
That was 24 years ago. It will always be this way. I have had to accept it. I am alive and well following the very aggressive tumour removal, chemo and radiotherapy.
It is SO distressing to hear of all the young women having both breasts removed without even experiencing womanhood.
It is MAJOR surgery.
What kind of society are we when young people have such poor self acceptance?
What kind of society actively encourages young people to undergo these irreversible surgeries.
Every de-transition account I have read or listened to, involves the individual totally regretting the damage that has been done to their bodies.
It is a scandal of grave proportions.
I wish this young woman well for the future. She sounds very strong and has now matured enough to start accepting herself for who she is in the here and now.
It is valuable that you say it is a major surgery.
To have mastektomie.
Because it sounds usually so easy.
"Like I have haf Top surgery and it feels amazing."
It totally ignores the risks, and the long term consequences.
Often when it is mentioned.
I was recommended to have mastek and I refused.
When the therapist asked me why
One of my answers were, because of the long term consequences.
The therapist didn't want to be confronted with the long term consequences.
Thinking of all the people she sended to transition...
She kicked me out after I did not transition.
I'm an atheist terf but hearing her describe her salvation by finding hope and redemption in a religion that required nothing more than simple belief, with no outside affirmation required, was very moving.
ᶘಠᴥಠᶅ Benjamin, you’re a good listener, thanks for interviewing interesting people. Despite Terffy’s circumstances I want to applaud her bravery in speaking about her difficult detransitioning experience. Her honesty and vulnerability are enlightening, and they will undoubtedly resonate to help others in their own disposition.
I was the least feminine girl ever. The teacher was constantly telling me to put my feet down and sit like a lady. I was into sports and wore my brother's clothes. I wore my dad's old spice. I hated dresses. Yada Yada. If anyone had told me what I was, there would have been a fight. But that didn't happen, I was left alone to be me. The internet is partly at fault for this. Also psychiatrists and their 'diagnoses'.
I have yet to meet a woman who at one time or another didn't feel entitled to 'borrow' her father's, brother's, or husband's clothes. This is explained by the feminist principle of "if it fits me, then it belongs to me" #gynocentrism
I think people put to much attention on things like "sit like a lady" or in a form of an insult to a boy "you do something like a girl" etc. There's NOTHING essential in a way of sitting that would be feminine or masculine. It's all cultural norms, that can be changed and turned around. In the 18th C men wore heals, before they became a staple of women's fashion. Because it's cultural, not essential. Same with sports. Or things like playing in nature. I find it so strange to hear many American women (just an example, I know you didn't say this exact thing) saying they liked climbing trees or playing in mud and _therefore_ considered themselves tomboys. I loved climbing trees or playing in nature and mud and would never ever consider myself a tomboy. I was also just the same playing princesses. Also, all the other girls in my neighborhood were climbing the trees or running around or riding bikes as much as I did. It's not a gendered activity. I have a theory that American culture has more this division of play of kids because kids have more fancy fashion-like clothes, especially girls. So God forbid climbing trees or sports. When I was a kid, former Communist block, we had very usual and simple clothes (unless someone had an uncle in the States sending packages with American clothes and toys), nothing special and nothing that you'd have to be careful not to get dirty or make creases etc. Unless maybe Sunday best.
@annarboriter lol I definitely taken over a couple of my dad's t-shirts 😆
@@joane24 I shall add this example to the expanding data set 👕
@slippersmomma Thank you for sharing your story! How many kids do you have now?
Another important contribution to the conversation. I am sure that there are many many more listening than must those of us commentating. So important that these stories are told
Thank you Terfregrette for your courage and your clarity, regarding your journey, and how you were railroaded into rushing your transition, and not encouraging you to be happy with yourself as you are and were. God bless you always.
Thank you, Terf, for sharing this story. I am a guy who is not part of the LGBT but I listen you videos with stories like yours because I want to understand how people, especially children, get ensnared by the negative side of the ideology and how to ensure it doesn't happen to any future children I have.
Loving the new background, B. B. Brings production up to a totally new level, and very pleasant to look at.
This young lady's perspective is so important. In particular, her take on her family and rebuilding those ties is absolutely spot on. The political narrative surrounding these kids (and adults) thrives on total dismissal of anyone, even family who has ANY hesitation or concern when a loved one decides to go down this road. The refuge she's found in faith is so heartening. I have struggled with putting into words the fear i have surrounding my own faith and when it was really knocked down a few rungs from life but this "kid" has given me a profound concept digest. Wayne Dyer said (anc others I'm sure) "let go and let God" years ago and it spoke to me. Today i felt a similar comfort when i listened and have some work to do.
@Benjaminboyce, you're doing God's work. I am so happy i stumbled across your page a couple years ago. ❤
Really great poignant, articulate and insightful convo, thanks to you both!
That was a really good talk. Benjamin A Boyce has a great way of drawing out the important points of the story, and Terffy explains so well her reasons for both wanting to transition and then de-transition. Unfortunately her story seems depressingly similar to that of other de-transitioners, particularly with regard to the lack of investigation of her mental issues, the rush to a surgical 'solution', the lack of post-operative care and the failure of the transition to cure her problems. Anyone considering medical and surgical transition should be required to listen to de-transitioners' stories first - although that probably would not fit the business model for what seems to be a profitable industry.
This was a super awesome 😎 convo. Way to go terffy 🙌🏻 Some excellent insights and astounding story surrounding your "top surgery". That is criminal, imo!
Benjamin, you were so cheeky in this. I loved it. "It's 'man'!" Hahaha. Still laughing
I have an idea, dunno if it's legit. One of the most alienating things about being an adolescent girl was, for me, having to deal with the sexual attention of grown men. There were some uncomfortable years dealing with looming womanhood, feeling entirely unwilling to *do* womanhood. In a different decade, I probably would have id'd as non-binary, at least, and a portion of that would have been driven by the sexual depiction of women in culture as well as the sexualization of my young body by men.
I wonder if this is something that a good father would prevent. A father would have prevented a lot of the sexual stuff I faced from men. A good father would also have been able to provide me with non-sexual male attention and affection while providing me with some rules of behavior.
I wonder if girls without strong relationships with their fathers are much, much more likely to identify as trans.
Yes, men are much more careful when they know you have a good father.
Having a good father doesn't stop predators, I don't see the relation. Maybe men should acknowledge their predatory behaviour first and put their grain of salt to stop r*pe culture.
Funny how men are blamed for really everything, the transition of AFABs as well as the transition of AMABs.
Men: erect, maintain, and staff vast judicial system to deal with criminal behavior.
@4651adri: why aren’t men doing anything to stop criminal behavior?
I really empathise with this. So much is forged at the personal level. Good father-daughter relationships are so valuable.
Good on ya for allowing us some insight into what its like to navigate the medicalisation of sex & identity. Thanks to benjamin for facilitating this insight, too. ❤
Excellent! Really enjoyed this. Thanks both of you.
Phantom pain is real, people who have limb amputation experience this.
Praise God! God is real and he loves us all. Mercy and forgiveness.
Thank you both. 🐿
This was very thought provoking... thanks as always, Benjamin
That surgeon's indifference to her pain from his butchery after getting paid is telling of the medical profession's motive.
@bhenry3550 agreed, but I think there is some socialist ideology going on there too... once the patient has 'served their purpose' they just blow them off cause the dr is on to the next patient/ project... kinda like leaving a lot of half done projects sitting around. It disgusts me.
You have to wonder how many trans people end it all because they regret transitioning but they can't imagine the journey back.
We're better off without the concept of "gender", entirely;
To the extent that "gender" DOES exist, it's just a synonym for "the stereotypes/norms of one of the sexes".
But if you DON'T specify exactly what you mean by "gender", half the population think you're discussing the evidence-free, pseudo-religious idea of SEX-INDEPENDENT "gender"- That it's possible to be "a man who is REALLY a woman", or vice versa.
So, to the extent "gender" actually exists, the word is 100% redundant, since it means the same as "the sexes"... But it also carries the implication of believing a bunch of harmful nonsense, that DOESN'T exist .
Unless we figure out some way of differentiating between people talking about (sex-DEPENDANT) "gender", vs (sex-INDEPENDANT) "gender", anyone using the word (without spelling out what the word MEANS, to them) is effectively promoting "gender"-ideolgy as a whole.
Abolishing gender completely would also mean to end all gendered oppressions against men society constructed, and that is even not wanted by many of the ones who claim they were "gender critical".
I am on board with this. If "gender" is just expression of a sex-related role , then They're just talking about masculinity and femininity, which is not binary, and is tied to culture and social roles and norms (stereotypes). People can be more or less masculine and feminine in all kinds of different ways. It's part of personality not sex. (Sex IS binary.)
Otherwise, gender and sex would be the same thing.
@@ebert8756I would argue with the notion that gender roles are *merely* cultural- look at the (non-human) animal kingdom. In lions, the females hunt. In white-tailed deer, the males fight each other for females. In certain bird species, the females only incubate the eggs, where in some species, both the male and female will. You won’t find a male cardinal sitting on a nest- his coloring would attract predators.
I’m not saying that a lot of gender roles in the human world aren’t culturally-influenced, but thinking biology isn’t involved at all is unrealistic.
Omg how devastating to hear how the system failed disastrously with these kids😢 thank you to this brave woman for sharing her experience and thoughts. It’s really interesting to learn about the effects of testosterone. I kind of now have more empathy and acceptance for some behaviours of my boyfriend… 😅 when she said “wanting to be always right” I thought - how tf does she know?? 😲🤭
Some how all of these people need to talk to congress.
I just stumbled on Tony Tiger again and I’m grateful. What an honest Samaritan. The Creator of the universe has great love for this man. Critical thinking is desperately needed. -former Olympian (WA)
These things like agreeableness are more personality traits found in both men and women. There's definitely a push for women to be more agreeable. If you are a woman who doesn't fit into the agreeable type, you will hear all about it. It's important, I think, not to attribute personality traits with a gender. Women are so much more than the narrow margin of stereotypes. I've never fit into this stereotype. In fact, I've never met any woman who fits into these stereotypes. I say, throw the box out.
yeah, every girl can be 'not like other girls'
It depends on the sub-culture you’re in regarding what you see as a “push for women to be more agreeable”. I’ve certainly never experienced that. Most other women I know have never experienced that.
Except we have studies that do indeed link that personality trait to women. It is much more common among women, just like men tend to be more interested in objects than people. Is it still a stereotype when it's true?
@@amyb.6368 Those studies are based on empirical data sets and since feminists reject empiricism, they dismiss it all. #blankslatism
@amyb.6368 I have read these studies. However, at what age were these women and men tested for this personality trait. Could they have been influenced by societal expectations, family culture, experiences of reward and punishment, and several other factors that might influence the responses of participants.
We do know that children are most influenced by their environment in the first five years of life. I'm sure you have watched the 7 Up BBC series. I'm certain you would have read your share of psychological development papers and books.
There are always questions around the validity of research around nature vs. nurture. At the moment, they are saying personality is stable, yet recent research shows the personality is very fluid and adaptive.
How do researchers separate nature from nurture? This is the problem with studies done on humans. We are not dogs or mice. There are too many variables to consider. Even the best peer reviewed research is tenuous at best, particularly around societal influences on human behaviour.
Hello terfy,
I'm so happy that you have found healing and peace!
And I'm so happy to have to as a sister through Christ!
If I may leave a suggestion:
I was not transitioning, but I had a lot of other problems with my psyche before my conversion in 2021. Most of it had roots in a difficult family situation. What helped me a lot is a devotion to the divine family, and a consecration to Jesus through Saint Joseph. Letting Saint Joseph be my adoptive father to guide me to his son, instead of my biological father who had neglected his duties.
He helps me so much!
And of course our blessed mother too! Devotion to the holy family feels like the embrace I missed as a child.
The rosary really helps me be calm and hopeful too.
I wish you all the best and all the peace and healing of our Lord!
From her description, the surgeon didn't relocate the nipples on the chest as is standard procedure with breast reduction surgery but detached them and attempted to somehow reattach the tissues to a new tissues, a procedure that requires, at the very least, skills which this medical quack clearly lacked
Standard procedure with larger breasts during a double mastectomy is in fact nipple grafting. This was not a breast reduction, it was a total breast removal. Smaller breasts get keyhole and their nipples tend to stay intact, though with larger breasts that is not how the surgery is provided. Unfortunate but true. This is the type of result those with larger breasts can expect. Regardless of the surgeon.
Everyone known the manliest thing you can do is spit tobackee. « Hulk around, work out in front of people » … come on Benjamin, I thought you were a manly man!
I don't know why so many people think society has all these expectations about what a woman should be when there's at least as many expectations about how a man should be. And the first thing that they usually complain about is being objectified, as if men aren't also. And they think it's unfair that women are expected to behave a certain way, as if men aren't expected to behave a certain way also. And men have so many more societal expectations put on them. Women really aren't expected to do all that much, while men are expected to do practically everything, and without ever complaining about it. Feminists don't like the roles that society expects them to play, while never thinking about the much more difficult roles which are assigned to men. I think if they stopped looking at things in such a one-sided way, maybe they wouldn't see themselves as being so victimized.
“Women really aren’t expected to do all that much.” So they’re not expected to look like models, grow and birth children and raise them, and also have careers? Don’t get me wrong- I do think there is much expected of men, but thinking much is expected of men while “nothing” is expected of women is just asinine. There are high expectations of both men AND women- they’re just different. Like men and women are different.
Try an ice pack to alleviate itching from nerve bunching
Was this impromptu?
Okay. I know who this is but my lips are sealed! Very good conversation.
Well, whoever they are, they are lucky to have good circle of friends like you. The fact they were able to desist from the trans destructive path and get better is a sure sign of that.
I can say 100% you don’t know who I am. I am not American. But thank you for watching!
Yes, I know too. Canadian.
@@minoozolala funny all those claiming to know me. No one has reached out to talk to me. No one in my life knows I’m doing this. So keep reaching and thinking you know me. You don’t.
@@Terffragettehey, I don’t know you personally, wasn’t trying to suggest that. I’m on your side. Great interview. You’re helping lots of people.
The doctors are too damn quick to medically transition people. They need to work with the head first to figure out what is going on and treat that. We need to go back to watchful waiting.
TERFfy ok. 😊😊
6: 39 Because of our historical vulnerability in terms of not be able to protect ourselves physically especially when pregnant, birthing and lactating FOREVER whether we wanted to or not for all y'all, those traits have been developed over time in order to keep us safe from the wrath of men. I also don't want to do your paperwork.
The need to be celebrated...
Mother of God spotted, like in the pocket
So beautiful! What a surprise, she found God! (I'm feeling weepy) I'm so excited that I'll be able to meet her in heaven....
❤🙏🏻
Yes, You need to apologise to the ones who saw you as you as a woman and saw that you had mental health issues and mutilated your body
Reminds.me.of the 12 step program, the stage about making amends.
Part of her process will be facing up to that and being humble.
P r o m o S M
Why Our Lady as the thumbnail? Mockery or worhship?
She said she converted to Catholicism
From the story, it sounds like devotion to her spiritual mother.