What is your Facebook or email? How can I inbox you? I got questions! I would love to know what you have experienced to scientific method that awesome theory of accumulated trials and observations!!! Please lmk!!!❤
This is exactly why i can never ever ever date a man only for his money. It would not matter how much he had. I can't fake the funk in that department. If i'm attracted to a man, he will definitely know it. If i'm not??? No way would i be able to be intimate with him.
I'm speaking passionately and from experience as I post this. Men may not LIKE to communicate but they MUST communicate in order to have a healthy relationship. I don't care if they have to stay up all night discussing/resolving issues, seek counseling, therapy, use Morse Code, send smoke signals, fax, email, snail-mail, summ'in (LOL) but men have to express how they feel and evolve in that area. It's not fair to woman because we can't resolve issues if we're not made aware of them. It's also not fair to indirectly put that responsibility on women (trying to figure out what's wrong when passive-aggressive behavior occurs) when men are perfectly capable of using their words but choose not to. Unspoken words will DESTROY a relationship. By the time the woman is made aware of the real issue(s) she's blind-sided, permanent damage has been done and the relationship is over. Aside from my soapbox minute (LOL)...another great video! I will definitely continue to learn and do my part in order to create a healthy, happy, relationship in the future! Thank you Stephan! I appreciate you!
Something I noticed, you want me to express how they feel, then say "men are perfectly capable of using their words." That's the issue for me. Men are raised to suppress emotions by everyone, and with that we don't even understand them, or when we are experiencing them at times. It takes a lot of work to undo this. I'm not trying to be mean, but I think people really don't understand how bad it really is. I read Will to Change a while back and it was really validating as a man. I suggest all the women I know to read it when they can't understand men and their emotions.
@@IPLAYTHOR I hear you and I'm not offended by anything you stated. Unfortunately our society has bought into and accepted a lot of unhealthy, toxic behaviors, lies and deception and has taken it as law and unchangeable. That is a lie. I do not believe that. The truth will set us free. I believe what has been learned can also be unlearned especially if it's incorrect. It's going to take some time to mend broken fences but its do-able. We have to get the "communication piece" of the puzzle right! It has to fit! Otherwise relationships will continue to suffer and ultimately fail. I think both men and women have been raised to suppress our feelings to a degree. For example: 1.) When growing up we wanted to express ourselves but our parents/elders looked at it as being disrespectful. "No back talk." That generation was BIG on children should be seen and not heard. 2.) Accepting rude talk, mistreatment from teachers or people in authority because they had power over us. 3.) Keeping our mouths shut because we wanted to "keep the peace". Meanwhile we weren't at peace within ourselves. Suppressing our feelings. I hated that...BUT...it's new day now! As an adult I'm going to say what I gotta say (using common sense and wisdom, there's a time and place for everything) kindly, respectfully, tactfully and with love. I want relationships to thrive, to be healthy and happy! Communication plays a HUGE part in that! Last, thanks for suggesting the book "Will to Change". I will definitely check it out!
If you choose to commit to a person, you definitely have to be mindful & respectful with one another's boundaries, which need to be discussed & defined early on. Both parties need to feel secure in the relationship.
I made a couple ugly comments on a couple of ur videos a couple weeks ago. I want to formally apologize to you. It's was anger wrongfully projected onto you that was actually deserved to someone else. I had just found out that the man I was into is married, with a 7month old baby, and the wife is the apartment manager in the leasing office of the complex that I live at, and he knew this. To say the least, to find out all of this information only with 2 days in-between the wife&kid part to find out the who she IS part. I was stirring far more angered than usual. To say in short, I wanted to explain the why I was angry part, to further let you know, it was misdirected. And I'm sorry u happened to be the person who had to get that bite from my blowup. Because u are a good man. And I think I can say for all of us women here subscribed to u, u are definitely helping us all. And you're appreciated. I'm sorry if I put negative feelings onto you from this Stephan. Sincerely. You're a good man. And you're appreciated and seen widely for it for the reason that it's clear it's true. My little period of thinking I found one of the rare ones and he was worse... Only hit me in a spot to think for a mili-second again that it's all men. Luckily I was raised by the dad I was and have the brother I do, cuz I know that good men ARE out there. And I know you are one of them. We appreciate you 🙏 thank you 🙏 and I'm SO sorry. 🙏💯
I’m so glad I watched this…I was notoriously judgmental before because I thought I was “protecting” myself and looking for patterns. Now, I can accept a man and what he entrusts me with and more so try to understand maybe why he told me and what he wanted me to take away from the information. I’m crushing on a man now, he told me shit from his past and I was like 😮…but I checked it! lol
"It's not your job to "fix" or "improve" an equally capable being." Read that again.... because if it's not part of your profession, like a teacher or life coach, or better yet, they did not ask for your efforts, don't do it.
Easily said then done. There are men that are antagonistic, disrespectful, don’t listen and rude. Men out here draining women and destroying women confidence no matter how much she lifts his confidence, be attentive and give this man sexual satisfaction…all these things mentioned in the video is geared towards being this positive fairy mate that’s understanding and pleasing to a man life. When in reality no matter how much a woman pours into a man…that man could potentially flip out on that woman. There are a lot of great women who were beautiful wives and positive girlfriends killed at the hands of the men they loved. Not all men can receive the things mentioned in this video. There are men who receive it but flip out on their wives and girlfriends. In the real world, social economic matters. Women are being killed at higher rates by men than ever before. Be careful who you pour into because you might not get what you expect to receive aka love, being cherished, honored or any of that in return.
This is when it’s important to know your boundaries and walk away if a man cannot receive. Rarely is a woman drained dead in one instance. Believe who he is the first time he shows you. Always know no matter how much you “love” him, you can walk away. Stop abandoning yourself and you won’t be drawn to or tied to men who abandon you. Thais Gibson has really great UA-cam videos about attachment theory that have changed my life and my perspective. Stephen’s advice won’t work for a chronically dysfunctional relationship. Only intense individual and couples therapy will and most aren’t willing to go there. But I so believe his insights are valuable when both people involved are good people in a relatively healthy relationship where both are open to individual growth and growth as a couple.
I've had so many men lie to me about their thoughts, feelings, etc. and have had many male friends bragging about the lies they've told women in order to get what they want. I truly don't know if I can ever trust what a man is telling me.
Exactly but if somebody that you were talking to on you think you have some kind of relationship but yet they’re not talking to you do you put your life on hold? No a therapist would tell you to move on because it’s very possible that they have time for you. They just don’t want to.
1. Using his past against him 2. Trying make him something he is not / change his way of life / pull him out of where he is happy 3. Belittling or emasculating him, undermining his manhood (chopping his nuts off) 4. Making him feel unwanted, unattractive, undesirable 5. Lacking boundaries with other men / not establishing those boundaries (doing things that would make him uncomfortable if you did it with another man instead of only him)
It’s important that men do not give women an impression of higher ambitions or financial stability early in the relationship that they are not willing to meet. They cannot get upset if that woman is expecting them to meet the expectations they themselves lied about in order to date the woman.
If a woman does any of what Stephan listed, she no longer loves this man! But why stick around and hurl negative comments and demean someone instead of leaving. Either stay single or find someone that is compatible with you.
I would love you to do a video on "love or limerance?" I have recently developed feelings for a close friend (of 2 years) and am struggling to see the situation from the outside in.
Males aren’t as simple as they profess and are very intentional in everything they do positive or negative…. Don’t mind hurting feelings but readily hurt feelings for sport
Excellent and highly valuable information Stephan. Wow! Thank you for helping me to get better with me and to better prepare for the mate, best friend etc that the God of my own understanding has for me and me for him. I really appreciate you allowing the God of your own understanding to use you to give to us and at the same time yourself to receive and apply to your own life what he has given you to give to each of us, female and male! Thank you! 🤩💪🏽💯🙏🏽💗
Ive been asked loads on socials if I'm married or single & I'm shocked. If i were lucky enough to be married, I wouldn't be chatting to random guys on the internet that's for sure, but apparently it happens often! 🤷♀️😱
My dear Stephan u mentioned in another video that women Dont understand men ,u are so correct because i dont Men choose motor mouth women and then complain about abuse I wonder where are theese men who we can be super affectionate With and dont want SEX ? 😂 Coach Steph never a dull moment on your channei You,re simply the BEST
That is what pushes most women away that men dont think they are enough Most MEN now days dont even think they are Handsome that is the biggest turn off to women like me ! Because I AM always surrounded by the ones that know they look Good and are top CONCEITED is why they will never get me . smh
I have to tell you… and ask also for you to pray for me and my family… but I’ve been listening to many of your videos and struggling with the question of whether or not I should end a 14 year long marriage, with 3 girls. He and I met under very unordinary circumstances and married spontaneously without the approval of our parents. I knew the night I married him at the courthouse when I recoiled at his touch that I had made one of the worst decisions ever. It’s hard to feel that way now though, as we have such an adorable family, but we’ve both tried to shape each other into someone who could be loved the way we each need to be, and I’ve forced an attraction to him, leading to… trauma. I don’t know if God wants me to change my own heart, my own self in a way I haven’t been able to before, or if he is finally telling me right now that the best way to love him is to leave him. PS. I am saving this video and reminding myself that the behaviors in this video as boundaries I should remind myself I shouldn’t cross if I really am going to keep my promise that I am working on our connection. So thank you. 🙏🏻
I don't think no one should try to change someone because you will be pushing someone to change to what you want them to be and Not who they really are if you truly love someone you look at the floors but you also look at the heart that you are with the person that makes you happy every little thing in a relationship counts everyone has a different love language you just got learn with a man likes and what he does not understanding each other is very important the relationship have to grow off of love by putting God first you will have a beautiful peaceful relationship because the love of Christ is in it blessing
If a man felt his change with a woman is getting him nowhere HE HAD MO BUSINESS CHANGING IN THE FIRST PLACE! His change should be geared towards his own personal development rather than his devotion to his woman he hurt. My God what the is going on down here?
There are so many things to remember to ask a man and discuss with him. I’m not even sure I’ll get around to all of that if I ever meet the right person. I need someone to write a list of everything to talk to a man about and discuss.
The Bible is really the only reference we need. There is also a book 31 prayers for my future husband. Wish I had read and prayed on it before I got married.
I love 💗 being a deterrent to guys now! When I tell them that I love church and want a “family” then I’m reminded what freedom it gives to have conversations. I have a kid so whether or not my future husband and I have one together then I must believe that someone must be of same VALUES (whether we have kid or not) just like it would be my best friend and I have connected over. The bond begins over the struggle and being at peace is the glue hardening.
@rachelromoful I am just asking this to make sure that I am understanding your comment correctly. Are you saying that loving church and wanting a family deters many guys that you talk to that show romantic interest in you?
This is true. Makes them come off as arrogant. It's established. Women are better listeners. OUR prob we try be fixers too. They need to recognize this. It's ok
I’m not feeling desired. I’m really into the guy I’m seeing I touch him I tell him I miss him I kiss him I work out with him at his busy gym which I don’t like. But I find myself initiating contact with him for the past week and it’s making me feel like he isn’t interested. I’m going to hit him up to see if he going to the gym but if he still acting funny I’m going to pull back.
❤❤❤ I try not to use hurtful words coming from an abusive marriage where he was cheating with his step daughter and doing bad drugs I just quit sleeping with Him 💯 filed divorce when my son turned 14 so he could say he didn't want to ever be hurt again by this man... it's my whole reason for being guarded when dating men❤❤❤❤
Stephan and Pastor Kingsley- women don't want affection from a man who doesn't accept them. We don't have such separate needs. Flipped your example: a woman is happy with her weight, she should have to fit someone else's mold? I know this video is focusing on men but there is always the flip side from a women's perspective that I don't hear much here.
Thank you Stephan 👏👏🙌 Physical attraction is one of my points. I really need to be attracted him if not What am I be doing with him??And I don't want to settle for less. No I am out. It better to be clear as I believe in Connections and good Vibe and Attraction.
Excellent content 🔥 Let's bring back the respect for each other. When we respect each other,we think before we react and speak. No matter the situation,if we respect ourselves...we won't let anyone make us act out of character.
SOMETIMES...A MAN'S CONFIDENCE IS ALREADY BREACHED BEFORE HE GETS IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP! I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND LOVING AND COMMUNICATE WITH HIM. IF A MAN IS WILLING TO LISTEN... HE'S READY FOR CHANGE. IF HE BUILDS UP A DEFENSE ... HE'S NOT TRYING TO CHANGE....HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION AND THE EASIEST WAY TO GET IT IS ACCUSE A WOMAN OF BEING UGLY WITH HIM!
Hello Stephan, I always found your relationship advice videos, sometimes I do experience communication issues with my close guy friend & husband(both of them). 🙏 I am using your relationships tips. 😊
MEN USE THIS STATEMENT AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT CHANGE...WHEN I REALIZED MY GUY DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE... I'M NOT DEALING WITH HIM... ESPECIALLY IF I'VE TRIED TO HELP HIM AND HE WANTS TO STAY IN HIS COMFORT ZONE!
Love this video but wish i knew this early on but guess what... i have changed behaviors and i need to communicate more. Putting this into practice. Love it! I do not have a lot of dating experience but im learning. Thanks Stephan.. love these videos.
You are so gifted brother. God bless you! Thank you for reenforcing these truths…we all need to hear this, it’s just human nature to say things but we as believers we are new creations and need to discipline our speech towards all mankind!! Bravo Stephan!
Not wanting to emasculate men, I wonder wherre the limit is between thta and setting boundaries and being self-assertive towards terribly lazy, passive, ignoring , neglectful , rude , hurtful, stressful lack of information and email-answers towards a first date. Shoul I not mark limits and let them know they are behaving badly? IS it not weakening his I to let bad things pass ?
Let them do whatever they want. Their self growth is not your business! If becomes insufferable just walk away! They eventually either grow up or not by themselves.
The boundaries you set are for you, to safeguard your own emotional health and physical well being and NOT to control another person's behavior which is not in your control. It is up to YOU to decide what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship and NOT ENGAGE if you feel they are damaging to your internal integrity and values.
@Victoria, I hope YOU reach the point of truly doing what's TRULY BEST for YOU!!!🙏🏾 Because OBVIOUSLY he's SHOWING you, what he thinks of you, and you accepting his behavior is SHOWING him what YOU think of yourself. Plz don't wait around for "him" to do what's "best". Give yourself what he can NEVER give you better than you can give yourself; which is ❤ and respect. I wish you well 🙏🏾🤗
That's because Tony wants to limit the pool so women come to him. Marriage ain't the only type of relationship. You still have to do this stuff when dating
I think I'm right when I say: Women want an adult man, not an immature insecure wuss. So, if we always have to be mindful of his insecurities, then it's time we move on. Because I am certain there are men who are ready, and willing to be with a woman who knows her value, and will commit to her -- I am hopeful there are comparable men who are eager to receiving respect, love and devotion from a woman who is just as willing to show him the same.
I'm going to stop and make a statement that may or may not go over well. If I feel taken care of, I will want sex! Period. I no longer do obligatory sex (actually there's been no sex for my 7 years single) but I know I want to have sex again. Too often we over focus on things a woman needs or things the man needs instead of what the partnership needs. If only one of the 2 is satisfied while the other isn't, is that really success? 🤔 As Esther Perel says after we marry, it's no longer just about you or me, it's about the "we."
And now you are a older woman who is reluctant to offer s3x early you will have to figure out how you can offer value to the man and why he should invest in you before he gets s3x, hard to do in a world where women offer up for less, i wish you good luck.
@@h8h215it certainly is a good screening process. If I'm not worth more than a roll in the hay, he's not worth enough to me. It's not the way most men want to deal with relationships. But I don't want most men 🤷🏼♀️
Profound video 👑 King❣️❤️🔥🙏🏽I remember years ago, I went out "Home girls night out" driving home like 4am so, my boyfriend homeboy saw my car and told him! Yea, we 😂 because our communication were on point and he knew where I was & when I was going to come back home. I feel people really need to have their own identity while in a relationship to live in Peace & Happiness ❤️ Otherwise, it's just 2 people together miserable because they can't do what they injoy doing in their life, just because he or she is in a relationship now. Let Love, Peace, Harmony and Happiness with TRUST Rules 4ever more❣️🫶🏾🙏🏽👑⚖️👑☀️
❤ Here’s your chance to get your personal questions answered for FREE 👉 www.askstephanspeaks.com
Dating today seems like a mix between military strategist and clinical psychotherapist. Sheesh.
lol 😂 😂😂😂
Perfect summary!!! 😂
I’m the psychotherapist in toxic relationships! 😂😂😂 Military is the brainwasher of America!!!
What is your Facebook or email? How can I inbox you? I got questions! I would love to know what you have experienced to scientific method that awesome theory of accumulated trials and observations!!! Please lmk!!!❤
@@IAMPOETRY7 I'm a Marine Corps veteran. Several books, therapist, lectures, YT helped put me on game to the psychotherapy side. The art of war.
This is exactly why i can never ever ever date a man only for his money. It would not matter how much he had. I can't fake the funk in that department. If i'm attracted to a man, he will definitely know it. If i'm not??? No way would i be able to be intimate with him.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Same
I'm speaking passionately and from experience as I post this. Men may not LIKE to communicate but they MUST communicate in order to have a healthy relationship. I don't care if they have to stay up all night discussing/resolving issues, seek counseling, therapy, use Morse Code, send smoke signals, fax, email, snail-mail, summ'in (LOL) but men have to express how they feel and evolve in that area. It's not fair to woman because we can't resolve issues if we're not made aware of them. It's also not fair to indirectly put that responsibility on women (trying to figure out what's wrong when passive-aggressive behavior occurs) when men are perfectly capable of using their words but choose not to. Unspoken words will DESTROY a relationship. By the time the woman is made aware of the real issue(s) she's blind-sided, permanent damage has been done and the relationship is over. Aside from my soapbox minute (LOL)...another great video! I will definitely continue to learn and do my part in order to create a healthy, happy, relationship in the future! Thank you Stephan! I appreciate you!
Something I noticed, you want me to express how they feel, then say "men are perfectly capable of using their words." That's the issue for me. Men are raised to suppress emotions by everyone, and with that we don't even understand them, or when we are experiencing them at times. It takes a lot of work to undo this. I'm not trying to be mean, but I think people really don't understand how bad it really is.
I read Will to Change a while back and it was really validating as a man. I suggest all the women I know to read it when they can't understand men and their emotions.
@@IPLAYTHOR I hear you and I'm not offended by anything you stated. Unfortunately our society has bought into and accepted a lot of unhealthy, toxic behaviors, lies and deception and has taken it as law and unchangeable. That is a lie. I do not believe that. The truth will set us free. I believe what has been learned can also be unlearned especially if it's incorrect. It's going to take some time to mend broken fences but its do-able. We have to get the "communication piece" of the puzzle right! It has to fit! Otherwise relationships will continue to suffer and ultimately fail.
I think both men and women have been raised to suppress our feelings to a degree. For example: 1.) When growing up we wanted to express ourselves but our parents/elders looked at it as being disrespectful. "No back talk." That generation was BIG on children should be seen and not heard. 2.) Accepting rude talk, mistreatment from teachers or people in authority because they had power over us. 3.) Keeping our mouths shut because we wanted to "keep the peace". Meanwhile we weren't at peace within ourselves. Suppressing our feelings. I hated that...BUT...it's new day now! As an adult I'm going to say what I gotta say (using common sense and wisdom, there's a time and place for everything) kindly, respectfully, tactfully and with love. I want relationships to thrive, to be healthy and happy! Communication plays a HUGE part in that! Last, thanks for suggesting the book "Will to Change". I will definitely check it out!
If you choose to commit to a person, you definitely have to be mindful & respectful with one another's boundaries, which need to be discussed & defined early on. Both parties need to feel secure in the relationship.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
I made a couple ugly comments on a couple of ur videos a couple weeks ago. I want to formally apologize to you. It's was anger wrongfully projected onto you that was actually deserved to someone else. I had just found out that the man I was into is married, with a 7month old baby, and the wife is the apartment manager in the leasing office of the complex that I live at, and he knew this. To say the least, to find out all of this information only with 2 days in-between the wife&kid part to find out the who she IS part. I was stirring far more angered than usual. To say in short, I wanted to explain the why I was angry part, to further let you know, it was misdirected. And I'm sorry u happened to be the person who had to get that bite from my blowup. Because u are a good man. And I think I can say for all of us women here subscribed to u, u are definitely helping us all. And you're appreciated. I'm sorry if I put negative feelings onto you from this Stephan. Sincerely. You're a good man. And you're appreciated and seen widely for it for the reason that it's clear it's true. My little period of thinking I found one of the rare ones and he was worse... Only hit me in a spot to think for a mili-second again that it's all men. Luckily I was raised by the dad I was and have the brother I do, cuz I know that good men ARE out there. And I know you are one of them. We appreciate you 🙏 thank you 🙏 and I'm SO sorry. 🙏💯
Amazing how a man can be territorial and you are not in a relationship with him!
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
It can happen automatically if he is really into you
You're single til you're married
It works both ways. Disrespect can occur from both. Unfortunately. We are really not that different.
I’m so glad I watched this…I was notoriously judgmental before because I thought I was “protecting” myself and looking for patterns. Now, I can accept a man and what he entrusts me with and more so try to understand maybe why he told me and what he wanted me to take away from the information. I’m crushing on a man now, he told me shit from his past and I was like 😮…but I checked it! lol
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
It's 90% because they won't go get a therapy. You should start charging for sessions...
"It's not your job to "fix" or "improve" an equally capable being." Read that again.... because if it's not part of your profession, like a teacher or life coach, or better yet, they did not ask for your efforts, don't do it.
Easily said then done. There are men that are antagonistic, disrespectful, don’t listen and rude. Men out here draining women and destroying women confidence no matter how much she lifts his confidence, be attentive and give this man sexual satisfaction…all these things mentioned in the video is geared towards being this positive fairy mate that’s understanding and pleasing to a man life. When in reality no matter how much a woman pours into a man…that man could potentially flip out on that woman. There are a lot of great women who were beautiful wives and positive girlfriends killed at the hands of the men they loved. Not all men can receive the things mentioned in this video. There are men who receive it but flip out on their wives and girlfriends. In the real world, social economic matters. Women are being killed at higher rates by men than ever before. Be careful who you pour into because you might not get what you expect to receive aka love, being cherished, honored or any of that in return.
This is when it’s important to know your boundaries and walk away if a man cannot receive. Rarely is a woman drained dead in one instance. Believe who he is the first time he shows you. Always know no matter how much you “love” him, you can walk away. Stop abandoning yourself and you won’t be drawn to or tied to men who abandon you. Thais Gibson has really great UA-cam videos about attachment theory that have changed my life and my perspective. Stephen’s advice won’t work for a chronically dysfunctional relationship. Only intense individual and couples therapy will and most aren’t willing to go there. But I so believe his insights are valuable when both people involved are good people in a relatively healthy relationship where both are open to individual growth and growth as a couple.
.....What can a lady do to regain his trust if she has accidentally used his past against him?
Acknowledge the issue; and discuss the plan to do better forward, and ask him what else would be needed to make progress in this area
@@MeetStephanSpeaks what's an example of a plan to do better
I've had so many men lie to me about their thoughts, feelings, etc. and have had many male friends bragging about the lies they've told women in order to get what they want. I truly don't know if I can ever trust what a man is telling me.
Same same
You can ignore the words. But watch his actions.they speak loud enough
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Why tf did you keep them as friends if you knew they were liars?
Boundaries are very important to discuss.
Most definitely!
It’s tomorrow. 👍
Exactly but if somebody that you were talking to on you think you have some kind of relationship but yet they’re not talking to you do you put your life on hold? No a therapist would tell you to move on because it’s very possible that they have time for you. They just don’t want to.
This sounds like dating the clinically disturbed.
Where’s the list?? 😩
1. Using his past against him
2. Trying make him something he is not / change his way of life / pull him out of where he is happy
3. Belittling or emasculating him, undermining his manhood (chopping his nuts off)
4. Making him feel unwanted, unattractive, undesirable
5. Lacking boundaries with other men / not establishing those boundaries (doing things that would make him uncomfortable if you did it with another man instead of only him)
Eish ask that again, we talks much 😢
If you show this video towards a masculine narcissistic women she would laugh at it n look at you like you crazy🤷♂️🤦🏽♂️
💯
That goes for Men also😊
I’m still single because I found dating now days you need to be physchologist to get in this insane dating nowadays
I feel you. It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏🏼
Good Morning Stephan this is a good Vedio but this could mean the same meaning for women as well. Thank You for sharing
Thanks Stephan! For me, this is a kind reminder to stay on track.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
It’s important that men do not give women an impression of higher ambitions or financial stability early in the relationship that they are not willing to meet. They cannot get upset if that woman is expecting them to meet the expectations they themselves lied about in order to date the woman.
Poor hygiene was my turn-off ......
Same
“But he IS stupid” 😂😂😂😂
lol 😂
😂
If a woman does any of what Stephan listed, she no longer loves this man! But why stick around and hurl negative comments and demean someone instead of leaving. Either stay single or find someone that is compatible with you.
I would love you to do a video on "love or limerance?" I have recently developed feelings for a close friend (of 2 years) and am struggling to see the situation from the outside in.
Limerance is an obsessive fantasy of a person. It's different if you're falling in love with him.
I understand and I have to say I fully agree with everything you said! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💚💚💚🙏🏽🙌🏾
Males aren’t as simple as they profess and are very intentional in everything they do positive or negative…. Don’t mind hurting feelings but readily hurt feelings for sport
Excellent and highly valuable information Stephan. Wow! Thank you for helping me to get better with me and to better prepare for the mate, best friend etc that the God of my own understanding has for me and me for him. I really appreciate you allowing the God of your own understanding to use you to give to us and at the same time yourself to receive and apply to your own life what he has given you to give to each of us, female and male! Thank you! 🤩💪🏽💯🙏🏽💗
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
You know I'm in agreeance with this, Stephan!💯 No doubt. 😁
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
In agreement ❤😘
THANK YOU STEPHAN , LOVE PASTOR K
My pleasure
My favorite coach!❤
❤ 🙌
Ive been asked loads on socials if I'm married or single & I'm shocked. If i were lucky enough to be married, I wouldn't be chatting to random guys on the internet that's for sure, but apparently it happens often! 🤷♀️😱
I can't be with a man who I don't admire or respect... hence, I am married to a great person who leads his family ❤
My dear Stephan u mentioned in another video that women
Dont understand men ,u are so correct because i dont
Men choose motor mouth women and then complain about abuse
I wonder where are theese men who we can be super affectionate
With and dont want SEX ? 😂
Coach Steph never a dull moment on your channei
You,re simply the BEST
Stephan, you're so on point with EVERYTHING that you've said💯✨
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
Ain’t he tho
That is what pushes most women away that men dont think they are enough Most MEN now days dont even think they are Handsome that is the biggest turn off to women like me ! Because I AM always surrounded by the ones that know they look Good and are top CONCEITED is why they will never get me . smh
Kindly do how a man hurts a woman's confidence
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you so much
thank you thank you
Whats the name of the a-z book?
I have to tell you… and ask also for you to pray for me and my family… but I’ve been listening to many of your videos and struggling with the question of whether or not I should end a 14 year long marriage, with 3 girls. He and I met under very unordinary circumstances and married spontaneously without the approval of our parents. I knew the night I married him at the courthouse when I recoiled at his touch that I had made one of the worst decisions ever. It’s hard to feel that way now though, as we have such an adorable family, but we’ve both tried to shape each other into someone who could be loved the way we each need to be, and I’ve forced an attraction to him, leading to… trauma. I don’t know if God wants me to change my own heart, my own self in a way I haven’t been able to before, or if he is finally telling me right now that the best way to love him is to leave him.
PS. I am saving this video and reminding myself that the behaviors in this video as boundaries I should remind myself I shouldn’t cross if I really am going to keep my promise that I am working on our connection. So thank you. 🙏🏻
I don't think no one should try to change someone because you will be pushing someone to change to what you want them to be and Not who they really are if you truly love someone you look at the floors but you also look at the heart that you are with the person that makes you happy every little thing in a relationship counts everyone has a different love language you just got learn with a man likes and what he does not understanding each other is very important the relationship have to grow off of love by putting God first you will have a beautiful peaceful relationship because the love of Christ is in it blessing
Thank You Stephan 💯No Doubt I agree with this!!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
It’s the opposite for me, he is judging me because i have had boyfriends before i met him. He knows i am not a virgin though
Wait on God for someone who doesn't do that. God wants the best for you
@@joyricherson4570 Amen 🙏
@@joyricherson4570 🙏🙏🙏
Dump him
If a man felt his change with a woman is getting him nowhere
HE HAD MO BUSINESS CHANGING IN THE FIRST PLACE!
His change should be geared towards his own personal development rather than his devotion to his woman he hurt. My God what the is going on down here?
Can i have more info on the A-Z book
Can you discuss going on your first vacation trip or weekend getaway with a potential partner and how it may affect things?
It should say hurt his attraction!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
That’s a good point
You're so good, realistic and precise... Thank you for your videos.
There are so many things to remember to ask a man and discuss with him. I’m not even sure I’ll get around to all of that if I ever meet the right person. I need someone to write a list of everything to talk to a man about and discuss.
The Bible is really the only reference we need. There is also a book 31 prayers for my future husband. Wish I had read and prayed on it before I got married.
I love 💗 being a deterrent to guys now! When I tell them that I love church and want a “family” then I’m reminded what freedom it gives to have conversations. I have a kid so whether or not my future husband and I have one together then I must believe that someone must be of same VALUES (whether we have kid or not) just like it would be my best friend and I have connected over. The bond begins over the struggle and being at peace is the glue hardening.
@rachelromoful I am just asking this to make sure that I am understanding your comment correctly. Are you saying that loving church and wanting a family deters many guys that you talk to that show romantic interest in you?
@rachelromoful I like the way that you said that values must be the same, kids or no kids.
Thank you for this 🙌👏
Thank you for watching ❤
Forgive my ignorance, but is the "B" word, baby? boy? or what?
How about when he cheated on me multiple times times
Just leave that guy! He is not healthy or mature and what are your with him for? He will keep doing it! Divorce or brake up and find a better one.
This is true. Makes them come off as arrogant. It's established. Women are better listeners. OUR prob we try be fixers too. They need to recognize this. It's ok
Thank you for sharing I appreciate that ❤️ 🙏🏼
I’m not feeling desired. I’m really into the guy I’m seeing I touch him I tell him I miss him I kiss him I work out with him at his busy gym which I don’t like. But I find myself initiating contact with him for the past week and it’s making me feel like he isn’t interested. I’m going to hit him up to see if he going to the gym but if he still acting funny I’m going to pull back.
Definately pull back, you could be suffocating his masculinity, if hes interested he will pursue you have given him clear indicators its up to him now
❤❤❤ I try not to use hurtful words coming from an abusive marriage where he was cheating with his step daughter and doing bad drugs I just quit sleeping with Him 💯 filed divorce when my son turned 14 so he could say he didn't want to ever be hurt again by this man... it's my whole reason for being guarded when dating men❤❤❤❤
Cheating with his step daughter? Was this a fully adult grown woman? Otherwise that is criminal behavior and rape.
Ive learned so much for myself by watching your channel. Thank you
🙌 I’m happy to hear that
My past was weaponized in my marriage. Interesting
I love it how you start laughing at the advice you give lol I love your videos too
❤❤❤❤
🙏❤️
Yes.. “learn how to talk to him like a stripper”😂😂
Stephan and Pastor Kingsley- women don't want affection from a man who doesn't accept them. We don't have such separate needs. Flipped your example: a woman is happy with her weight, she should have to fit someone else's mold? I know this video is focusing on men but there is always the flip side from a women's perspective that I don't hear much here.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thank you Stephan 👏👏🙌 Physical attraction is one of my points. I really need to be attracted him if not What am I be doing with him??And I don't want to settle for less. No I am out. It better to be clear as I believe in Connections and good Vibe and Attraction.
Excellent content 🔥 Let's bring back the respect for each other. When we respect each other,we think before we react and speak. No matter the situation,if we respect ourselves...we won't let anyone make us act out of character.
Wow, interesting.....the fact that he can be drawn in to really consider the fantasy is real...is disturbing....kinda sad.😢
🙏 ❤️
My awesome coach.❤
Mines refuse to share anything with me at all
It's a two way process ✨️ 😌
I never throw things back in someone face, because no one is perfect, that's how i see it.
Thank you, Stephan.❤❤
You're right....as an individual myself I came forward to tell my significant other and sometimes the person uses against me which is frustrating
I was trying to get him to communicate with him but he kept pn ignoringe about the subjet do i just abruptly cut him off
Yes
SOMETIMES...A MAN'S CONFIDENCE IS ALREADY BREACHED BEFORE HE GETS IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP! I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND LOVING AND COMMUNICATE WITH HIM. IF A MAN IS WILLING TO LISTEN... HE'S READY FOR CHANGE. IF HE BUILDS UP A DEFENSE ... HE'S NOT TRYING TO CHANGE....HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION AND THE EASIEST WAY TO GET IT IS ACCUSE A WOMAN OF BEING UGLY WITH HIM!
Hello Stephan, I always found your relationship advice videos, sometimes I do experience communication issues with my close guy friend & husband(both of them). 🙏 I am using your relationships tips. 😊
MEN USE THIS STATEMENT AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT CHANGE...WHEN I REALIZED MY GUY DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE... I'M NOT DEALING WITH HIM... ESPECIALLY IF I'VE TRIED TO HELP HIM AND HE WANTS TO STAY IN HIS COMFORT ZONE!
Love this video but wish i knew this early on but guess what... i have changed behaviors and i need to communicate more. Putting this into practice. Love it! I do not have a lot of dating experience but im learning. Thanks Stephan.. love these videos.
Mr handsome ♥️ x
And when it's the other way around? My partner attacks me when I told him something and opened up?
😂 😂
I’m gonna start watching Family Guy thanks to you😂😂😂
You are great!!!🙏
You are so gifted brother. God bless you! Thank you for reenforcing these truths…we all need to hear this, it’s just human nature to say things but we as believers we are new creations and need to discipline our speech towards all mankind!! Bravo Stephan!
Interesting insights!🙏🏾
Not wanting to emasculate men, I wonder wherre the limit is between thta and setting boundaries and being self-assertive towards terribly lazy, passive, ignoring , neglectful , rude , hurtful, stressful lack of information and email-answers towards a first date. Shoul I not mark limits and let them know they are behaving badly? IS it not weakening his I to let bad things pass ?
Let them do whatever they want. Their self growth is not your business! If becomes insufferable just walk away! They eventually either grow up or not by themselves.
If they are doing all of that, they already know they are behaving badly and obviously don’t care, so walk away.
They weaponize incompetence, so weaponize leaving
The boundaries you set are for you, to safeguard your own emotional health and physical well being and NOT to control another person's behavior which is not in your control. It is up to YOU to decide what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship and NOT ENGAGE if you feel they are damaging to your internal integrity and values.
You nailed! An excellent summary of the relationship dynamic! Thanks :)
I'm in a relationship with a men who always keep me out of life but want to keep me around while he dating others women
I hope he reaches the point of doing what is truly best 🙏🏼
@Victoria, I hope YOU reach the point of truly doing what's TRULY BEST for YOU!!!🙏🏾 Because OBVIOUSLY he's SHOWING you, what he thinks of you, and you accepting his behavior is SHOWING him what YOU think of yourself. Plz don't wait around for "him" to do what's "best". Give yourself what he can NEVER give you better than you can give yourself; which is ❤ and respect. I wish you well 🙏🏾🤗
Dump him
Tony Gaskins warns women of men like this giving relationship advice no married no commitment man !!!
That's because Tony wants to limit the pool so women come to him. Marriage ain't the only type of relationship. You still have to do this stuff when dating
Weaponising the past
Trying to make it into something he's not
Bettilng him
Emasculating a man
Not showing sexual desires
Belittling him
🙏🏽❤️
🙏 ❤️
Not talk to him like a stripper!!! 😂
So sick of these babies
Speak to the King 👑 in him so 👑can come out ❤
He needs to bring his own king out
Love the lesson thanks!
Could you go deeper on the first point 🙏🏾
I think I'm right when I say: Women want an adult man, not an immature insecure wuss. So, if we always have to be mindful of his insecurities, then it's time we move on. Because I am certain there are men who are ready, and willing to be with a woman who knows her value, and will commit to her -- I am hopeful there are comparable men who are eager to receiving respect, love and devotion from a woman who is just as willing to show him the same.
I’m literally crying right now :((( hurt him so much 🫂 :(((
Not until u meet italian men🤌🏼
I'm going to stop and make a statement that may or may not go over well. If I feel taken care of, I will want sex! Period. I no longer do obligatory sex (actually there's been no sex for my 7 years single) but I know I want to have sex again. Too often we over focus on things a woman needs or things the man needs instead of what the partnership needs. If only one of the 2 is satisfied while the other isn't, is that really success? 🤔
As Esther Perel says after we marry, it's no longer just about you or me, it's about the "we."
And now you are a older woman who is reluctant to offer s3x early you will have to figure out how you can offer value to the man and why he should invest in you before he gets s3x, hard to do in a world where women offer up for less, i wish you good luck.
@@h8h215it certainly is a good screening process. If I'm not worth more than a roll in the hay, he's not worth enough to me. It's not the way most men want to deal with relationships. But I don't want most men 🤷🏼♀️
@@h8h215 more I have religious beliefs against sex outside of marriage. Older or not, that won't change.
Profound video 👑 King❣️❤️🔥🙏🏽I remember years ago, I went out "Home girls night out" driving home like 4am so, my boyfriend homeboy saw my car and told him! Yea, we 😂 because our communication were on point and he knew where I was & when I was going to come back home. I feel people really need to have their own identity while in a relationship to live in Peace & Happiness ❤️ Otherwise, it's just 2 people together miserable because they can't do what they injoy doing in their life, just because he or she is in a relationship now. Let Love, Peace, Harmony and Happiness with TRUST Rules 4ever more❣️🫶🏾🙏🏽👑⚖️👑☀️
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️