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First video. Subscribed. I used to operate from that mindset, too. So... thank you for reminding me by way of this video. Have a nice one and keep 'em coming.
Julian you made one major error. You may have forgot that just because something can make sense. That it doesn’t mean that’s it’s the best way to view the world and daily life. What’s the point in thinking something that doesn’t had cheer and fondness from life and the people around you. In other words if you look at everything as stupid it might indicate that you’ve lost yourself along the way.
"True confidence is I don't seek my self-worth in others, but I am still aware of it. So I can still recieve feedback and adjust, without it affecting who I am." - I like this a lot.
So happy for this video. I think like you said at the about feedback, but in the end, it’s always changes for good that you want to make. Peoppe who want to lose weight for example, always have an ”easy” time if they do it for them personally. Pressure by society always fails, because it’s fictional, not real and disconnected.
I agree with this as well. Especially the feedback piece. So important! But don't rely SOLEY on your self-worth from others but it's good to get validation from time-to-time x'D ! Just don't be too needy....:P !
"I can still recieve feedback and adjust" What happens when 1) this feedback is masked as good advice but in reality it is pathological lying and hidden agenda behind it - and we have no chance to doubt it nor to check it? 2) when this feedback is actually relentless criticism from someone who is mimicking being normal outside but they are abnormal inside and have pathological tendencies - and once again - we are not aware of it nor we can check it so 3) we are stuck with this tainted "feedback" and we cannot leave. What happens in reality this feedback is actually psychological and emotional abuse, and What happens is exposure to psychological abuse will have effect on our mental state. The idea that we love ourselves and have self worth and not depend on someone's opinion - will not help with after-effect of being exposed to narcissistic abuse. Long term exposure to narcissistic abuse causes brain injury - google it. We cannot wish this injury to go away, we cannot de-sensitize ourselves from this injury - this injury will happen just for being exposed to it over long period of time. It is like being in Chernobyl - we won't develop anti-radiation in our body, staying in toxic place will destroy our body instead of wishful thinking that somehow we will become strong and resilient by staying with toxicity. Self worth is not magical sword, it is basis for action and goals and innovation - but our egocentrism and veil over reality is not proper tool for handling social life and volition of other people. We need another tool instead of self worth and just simply being ourselves. We need education - that we recognize external factor, like virus attacking our cells - if we do not have idea that virus exists it will eat us alive from inside. The same as for toxic people. Red flags to cut off toxic people immediately when we are able to walk away. Self worth is not being open and friendly and being without boundaries and inviting all people in - self worth is not being cool and super confident. Social engagement is self worth - but this does not mean negative politeness and agreeableness with anyone. When we are stuck with toxic people and we cannot leave - there is no immediate solution. it simply means we are in losing game as long as we stay in toxicity. Then our next tool would be plan and projects - how to relocate - earn money and leave as life project. Idea to self pathologize ourselves for not feeling confident in times when we are inside toxic ambient is wrong, it is self abuse.
People don't remember what you do or say, they remember how you make them feel. You can do whatever you want, as long as your kind to others, people will think fondly of you.
@layman linguist they might be nice to you, but I imagine your parents relationship and your family have dynamics that are not necessarily "nice" who you think wears the pants in the relationships? cus one will
35 years ago, because my young son took nothing seriously, not his education, not his family relationships, not his friendships or responsibilities, I made a sign and tacked it onto his bedroom door. It read: -“Nobody else cares if you ever make it. It’s your job to care about yourself.”
Sounds like a case of poor parenting skills blaming the results. Typical from parents of exceptional children. Bet the kid did JUST fine:: And Not because of a desperation Note from mommy.
Sounds a lot like me. I was never close to my father. He was always negative and in a bad mood. Great at fixing things but never taught me anything because he always did it, while I was just holding the flashlight. Sometimes he would let me try but if I couldn’t do it in a few seconds he’d get impatient and do it himself. He was stern but always gave up immediately and told me to “do whatever I wanted” in anger when I didn’t listen. As a kid you pick that up real quickly and know that you don’t have to listen to him. He bought good gifts though. Always made sure I had a good pc and all that. But I would have preferred life advice and real skills over just material stuff. The primary emotion about my father growing up was always “I never want to be like him”. Especially him always being negative and there never being a moment of happiness from him. But none of that matters now. Doesn’t matter if it had an effect on me or not it’s my responsibility now to do the best with what I got.
@@Anna-mv9ew he wasn’t saying *he* didn’t care, he was letting the kid know that the world is cruel and doesn’t give a shit about him, it’s up to him to ensure his own happiness and success. Bottom line being, no point rebelling against the world, no one is going to save you. That’s a kindness, to be told that overtly when young.
I stopped caring what people thought a long time ago and now I focus on the perception I have of myself and as long as I love me and I'm having fun and not hurting anyone else along the way, I'm happy.
Isolation and building walls is as much as dysfunctional as being people pleaser and pushover and trying to appease other people. It simply are two extremes of the same issue - being stuck in toxic ambient outside of our control. People pleasing and being agreeable is not sickness, it is not pathology. It becomes pathology and sickness when the toxic person is exploiting us and interacting with us with their hidden agenda - then caring what other people think becomes tool to abuse us through guilt and shame. We need caring what other people think - with normal people. Without this ability we will become psychopaths, monsters, we need to form contact with other people through interdependence. If we isolate ourselves we will develop serious psychological issues such as paranoia and delusions. If we choose Fight response for dealing with people - we will scare good and nice people and be stuck with damaged people. We cannot form friendships nor intimate relationships if we are frozen and afraid of being vulnerable, without taking care of others and without caring what other person thinks.
I have panic disorder that makes me lose consciousness in public (crowds). My main trigger is people (crowds and being judged). Thank you so much for posting this!
Quit every single thing that gives you satisfaction in the short term but nothing or negative results in the long term. You want to plant seeds with every thought you make but you can’t when you don’t have the willpower pc you blow your dopamine stores,
When you have the willpower, you’ll be able to jump into any situation or process & face rejection or failures. You can only learn by jumping in. Research everything that burns your dopamine, make a list & stay away from these things.
I have acne and whenever I was in a crowded area like a town square I was always feeling looked at and put the mask to cover the pimples, but now I'm like "No one's watching, who cares" and just go about my day
You don’t have a panic disorder thats bullshit that bullshit doctors gave to you You have a trauma that makes fear arise, you have to accept this fear and make it be a part of you not avoid it. You can’t deny a part of you that’s afraid that the same thing that happened is going to happen again. Once you let the fear do it’s thing it’s going to vanish. The thing that makes everything worse is you blocking it and making the symptoms worse. Love the fear accept it you can’t run from it About the consciousness, fear makes your mind focus on that one thing you fear from, imagine being chased by someone with a knife would your consciousness focus on the guy or on other things? The fear being blocked in the belly, watch it with your soul don’t get bullied by it watch it do it’s thing dont suppress
My sister always says that we’re all important and unimportant at the same time. As a perfectionist who’s been diagnosed with Anxiety disorder…it’s definitely hard letting go. I did a hypnotherapy session the other day though and I feel really good after it. Better than anything I’ve tried before. Think you just need realize what you’re doing is meaningful and not focus on others judgement to get ahead in life.
This is powerful stuff and thank you for it. I'm about to turn 44 and have lived almost my entire life in fear of what others think. I've done for myself but I've always had this deep inane fear that has stopped me from reaching new heights or taking great opportunities. This has seriously changed my mindset on how to move forwards. Thanks again!
Bro i fallow you from Egypt, i just showd that to my social anxiety friend and he got motivated to socialise . You and Owen are literally changing lives in different parts of the world with these videos ❤️
I just found you, and I am loving these videos. I struggle from very sever social anxiety and depression but I’m trying to get my mind right and confidence up and these videos are definitely helpful towards that
We may be dumb with short attention span but you presented this in such an interesting way, I couldn't stop watching. Awesome to hear a real person share. Thank you!!
Not taking anything personal is a sign of psychopathy. Idea of trauma splitting and bi-polar thinking is not healthy. We live in fuzzy logic, not Aristotelian logic of ones and zeros, black and white world.
Needed this today thank you. I’m already quite unfiltered verbally with people I know and don’t take part in what everyone else is doing to fit in etc But need to work on not caring what the general public think when I’m out and about. Looking forward to more of your knowledge, the npc analogy is incredible
@Jay I really think you’ve overthought it all man. Just be yourself, if someone asks you something that’s “unacceptable” you simply say no instead of worrying about offending them.
The proof of the diminution of the attention span reside in the fact that you can put different videos you did in different cities but with almost the same content and barely no one notices! 😅 But it’s a good thing to do because those concepts continues to grow each time that we hear them!
This hack does indeed work miracles! I have been trying out walking in the street while recording a vlog (inspired in the podcast exercise) and it keeps proving how this is true, nobody even reacts to anything I say or do 🙌
This is why suicidal ideation with the idea that everyone will be so sorry once it happens is THE STUPIDEST reason to take your own life, no one is actually going to care and even those that pretend they do will forget about it within a week and move on with there life’s. Your not going to make the statement you think you will be.
Julien. I wish you know that you are the best. No freaking experts could explain these things in 16 minutes. so Believe in yourself, and keep this fantastic content going brother.
I think it’s more applicable to big cities, as in small cities people are tend to notice and remember each other, even gossip. I know this for myself, as I often meet and speak to new people outside.
Exactly, if I go to London, everyone acts like they’ve got a life to get on with. I live in a small town and most people here try to socially engage or they stare with some judgmental facial expression, drives me mad.
Yes.. and when you do or say something stupid, you'll always be remembered as that guy/girl.. Everyone will know about it, your friends, neighbors, mailman, local store employees... They stick their nose in others business because theirs is boring
@@richard_from_england333 I think people who live in big cities are surrounded by lots of different kinds of people who want different things in life and so city people have no choice but to behave in a universally respectful way (which I think they do for the most part) in order to coexist with each other, basically "mind your own business and focus on your own life unless anything indicates you can do otherwise", because if they don't they'll very quickly be singled out and probably feel embarassed and stupid (and so they should), but people who live in small villages/towns don't have this incentive because they spend all their time around the same people who accept and enable whatever character flaws they may have and so they do all of this inappropriate shit like not minding their own business, staring directly at you and trying to convey their judgment and assumptions onto you with their facial expression, when you don't care for the most part because you don't even know each other, which is what I unfortunately get to experience every day from living in a small town and it drives me mad. That shit doesn't fly in London because you would just get blank stares or stabbed even. Whenever I've walked through London I've never gotten that sort of nosy attitude from anyone.
Kinda wild to think about everyone in a big city circle they all care to work work work on their ambition which drives them away from thinking about other people and their emotion towards them, it's like shifting from a feminine energy to a masculine energy in a way
Another added benefit of living for yourself and not the approval of others is actually attracting people like you. If you start singing in a Starbucks, someone might join in and you've found a fun new friend. If your really into something niche, owning it could connect you to others who share your interests. When we put on a "cool" façade, we limit out connections to people who we don't really reflect who we wanna be.
I enjoyed your Ross story from Friends. Thinking about the story as being him in that situation sounds like your whole world is going to end. Thinking of the story as a someone seeing him do all of that is hilarious. Another way of viewing life situations is to realize things are what you make them out to be. Most stress and anxiety come from within. If you think it's the end of the world, guess what? It is. Great vid.
Thanks for all of this. It is all so true and so freeing! And fun to remember and apply in real life and then any anxiety just becomes so comical. This is actually life changing. Really thank you!
Julien I remember being at the 3 day event looking insane hair over grown long red beard, I relate to your story moving out to L.A. I did acting comedy but got totally destroyed by the lifestyle here you and Owen have been life savers and since then I genuinely shaved, cleaned up a little bit and got a mentor I could afford right now I can't afford TM right now living under a bridge and things are still kind of hard man but I remember also you talking about just being care free, fun, and passionate, and scheduling that on your schedule or a day of doing nothing so I tweaked it a bit and committed to a day of doing nothing but laughing and smiling you and Owen are really it's sad to say but the few honest and authenticly down to earth humans left in the world. Thank you for saving me from the hell on earth!
Really really fresh take. Probably also totally grokked by the wise thousands of years ago. Feels great hearing truth expressed in such very accessible language. You can get it if you work and chip away in books but its amazing when you can hear it spoken in a way that lets you have a key meet lock moment. Perspective is so powerful. So hard to gain. But also hard to unsee or forget once you've really seen it. The Ross example really brings it all together. And everything leading up to that made so much sense that it's oh yeah yes true, verified, experienced, yes....But how do I DO that in real time. Lots of mental habits that pull us back into the movie. Lots of coping stuff, pain avoidance. Free is scary. The unknown is scary. The louder that knock on the door gets though and you know that's truth knocking... Opening up to the encounter is just such a good choice. Hope I can hold onto something from this in all the noise.
Hey man! Just checking in to tell you that your course has actually changed my life around a year and a half ago. The transformation mastery course has helped me so much I feel like I'm the best version of me at the moment. I cannot thank you enough. THANKS A BUNCH MAN. All of this stuff you're telling in the video, it feels so obvious now it's nuts. So again, THANK YOU
I personally remember things in the past even if I bullied someone, or been bullied. And I do sense their energy if I see them again whether it’s been a grudge or some type of emotion. I think people do care and remember. Even in group conversations people talk about things in the past, and the energy in person that they bring with them over it is present, and the other will feel it.
Hypervigilant people- usually from trauma- can be more in tune with people's disapproval and ill feeling, but sometimes we forget we can work a person passed it by creating a new impression without being over eager and over pleasing to do so, just cool and calm and kind. Some people can't get passed how they made you feel or you made them feel once upon a time, and you cut the losses...the hardest part I find is engaging in new friendships after some failed ones. But really it's a matter of finding balance in myself. Starting with not worrying about what people think, which is very difficult to do.
That might be true to some extend when speaking about violent or psychlogically traumatic experiences. But in every day life, you can walk into the office dressed like a bum with the cringiest hairstyle ever, get home, take a shower, get a haircut and 3 days later noone will give a fuck. They will simply forget or not even notice at all. Except if youre dealing with predatory assholes. But thats a diffrent story and you generally shouldn't hang around idiots in the first place. And even if they remember, why should you care ? That's the whole point of the video. Fuck their opinion... Stick to those who treat you well and ignore everything else.
In my location the culture is a matured version of bully or being bullied. So everyone there is always hypervigilant always noticing and sensing others . Especially this is markedly apparent in my town whereas in other cities people vare about their own businesses. I personally feel that most people in my town are energy vampires and they try to remain without worry and guilt by making others suffer so that they can enjoy life
I found this channel a week ago it's been a life changer Im going to what i found danger Like with open chest n allowing myself to embarrass the hell out of myself ofc it triggers but im not mad at myself
Easier said than done, Julien. I grew up in a small community where other peoples opinions meant a hell of a lot, and now as an adult I cannot seem to get a hold of myself.
That’s still no excuse… I grew up in a small farm town of 650 people so I get it. Let me know if you’d like my help with this: application.julienhimself.com
It does matter what people think of you (to an extent) that’s how our world was built, that’s how our tribes functioned. We ridiculed certain things we didn’t like so we so we can produce the people we wanted; it’s called socialization. But aside from all that: be the person you want to be.
@@lifeandliftingwithyanek8717 which is why you should find your tribe. You're not a slave to a tribe anymore for a long time. You can move. It's better to be alone than surrounded by people who make you feel lonely, so you can take pleasure to know you're caring for yourself while searching for a tribe, or even starting your own tribe.
@@cynthiabauer5763 True, we're not forced to live with a tribe or community we don't like, anymore, the only reason why conforming to the group was important back then was because getting kicked out of the group ment you were sabertooth chow, but nowadays it's not so life and death so leaving the group is more reasonable now.
I once did push ups with my friend encouraging me in the middle of the school break and there were many people around me, but guess what happened? NOTHING. Actually, a guy came up to me and was very chill and congratulating me about it and we talked for some months until I moved to another school. But besides that, nothing negative
i get the premise behind thinking of others as npcs as a coping mechanism for social anxiety etc, but in my experience it's not true to reality.. yes people have their own things going on and are preoccupied in their own heads to an extent, but when you treat people as people and not npcs they do take notice and give you thought and that's a good thing, otherwise we're gonna go through life not making meaningful connections with new people because of a coping strategy; which in turn will lower the chances of you even getting to practice social skills thus making confidence issues an ongoing thing.
When you imagine a zombie apocalypse, you always see yourself as one of the survivors fighting against the NPC zombies. You are the star of your own show.
I understand what you're saying but I tend to think about people from the past, of course you don't think about strangers but people who have played a role in your life tend to pop up in your memory from time to time
Wish i heard this 30 years ago. I never thought of it this way. I gotta listen to this every day to remind myself because I'm always obsessed with what others are thinking about me. Not on purpose, the damn negative thoughts are so annoying, so it makes me just avoid going places.
While it's true that your opinion of yourself is the one that should matter most, a lot of people have a high opinion of themselves that they don't really deserve. Humanity exists and shares an objective reality, and the further you get from that reality, the more others will take notice and avoid you. That's fine if you're heading to Walmart, but in any other facet of life, what others think of you matters greatly. In fact, your success in life really depends on the good opinion of others. It's why conformity is such a powerful thing and why your reputation matters.
I always tell people very similar sentiments. Most people are suffering from crippling anxiety and they most certainly don't care and won't remember you or what you do and the ones that do will reach out and show you and it's all good at that point
The bit about receiving feedback while not being affected by it is so good. Like, you can't just ignore what people think, we live in a society and you need stuff from others, but your ego should not be triggered by feedback, it's a good fine line
I know that I could pick food out of a trash can and people walking past probably wouldn't care. But I think the issue is that once you join certain groups, there is an expected level of conduct or buy in to maintain relationships.
I have shared a great deal of your videos. Some life changing perspectives for myself and others. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. This vid...i totally see the angle and agree the majority of us are that way but i know many that keep others in mind. We after all social creatures and do care. Cycle through memories. Try to keep in touch with those we connect with and create new memories. Do agree though...the passing judgement of the typical NPC should not affect anyones confidence. Update: other video put this one in context. 👍👍👍 Truly hoping people latch on to the guidance your providing
I have a sever ocd. .. . This just gave me a way to overcome it completely along with knowing that people really don't care and that I have the final say. This is actually really sound advice. Time to recover!
Just wanted to tune in- I don't have a diagnose of OCD but I had a partner who did and I get easily irritated too when things are out of order. Just wanted to encourage you that OCD can be a sort of gift too, because it creates routine and security and sometimes too for those around us. I'm sorry if it causes you distress, but I hope too you have learned to reframe our quirks as also unique gifts we can balance with self care, nature trips, some healthy choices thrown in like water vitamins short exercise calm music on youtube.
the first minute. i answered yes to every one of your questions. i went to the comments, casually assuming others would feel as i. now i feel out of the loop. if you were me, would you continue watching for another 15 minutes?
It's not accurate to say that no one cares & people are NPCs though, yes people are self centred but people can also have empathy for others and care about others. To say someone is an NPC is to minimise that they also have feelings and encourage a lack of empathy towards someone who may also care. The truth is that there are levels of caring
Become meaner. Don't care about there emotions that come through they're face they aren't yours. Empower yourself don't be nice it gets you nowhere become a monster.
I'm giggling so much right now, Because of how true all you said is. I needed to be told this soooooo bad and I didn't even know... Holy yes thank you!!! I needed to be told it all
I've never only just been aware of what's 3 feet from me. Yes I do stay alert and pay attention to everyone around me the best I can. I don't see how other women don't. Carry on tho
You sir are a genius! I watch more UA-cam videos than anyone I’ve ever heard of. It’s what I get to do all day! I just gave my first like and subscribed for the first time in YEARS!!! Let’s see what else you got!
Julian is a caricature of what he used to be. The body posture is so different. The public stunt really did a number. I think ppl need the old Julien now more than ever. Regardless, he was very impactful around the time Pimp came out and I'm happy if he's happy👍🏼💯
Realizing everyone are NPCs makes an interesting point. In IronMan 3, the main antagonist says that realizing nobody cared was a gift because he could work unhindered, anonymously. Now dont become a supervillain, but learn from that lesson. Theres not enough time in the day to do what you need to do and to also obsess over what other people think. Obsessing will always win and you will always take the loss.
You're right but taking it a little too far. People do remember that you are a weirdo or a creep and will punish you if they see you again. They aren't thinking about you when you aren't in sight though. You are so so right and I really appreciate your points. Also I'm different from other people it seems because I do remember people even from years ago, some for bad reasons but most for good reasons.
I must say I certainly do look around far ahead and across the street. I am old school, I never look at my phone when walking nor do I have ear pods in. Being aware of my surroundings comes very naturally for me.
Not going to lie, I still can’t believe Nipsey is gone. An acute feeling of grief hits me. He never knew who I was, which embarrassing at the onset. But, the impact was made through inspiration. LSS - I do think people think about you, or us, bruh. Just not as many as you’d think. Even the closest people to us don’t care about us as much as you’d think.
Idk what happened. Maybe it was when I hit my 30s. My God, it was life-changing when I finally realized that I don't care and pretty much no one else does either. Nobody cares. Others care about themselves and their circle. Live life for you. It's the way to happiness
Im amazed its taken this long for me to hear someone voice what I've been trying to tell people for so long, no one cares about you because they care too much about, not you, but your thoughts on them
The problem is not whether people care about you but that they want things from you, like attention and validation, for example making you feel small to make themselves feel bigger.
Isn’t that further reinforcing his speech that nobody cares about you, and you’re just an NPC in their life and you’re just their background actor? He’s just having an interaction with you as an NPC in their life, and it’s their life so they don’t care about the NPC
Had a problem in my younger years with talking to people and giving a speeches , but the older I get the less I give a sh*t about what others think, I do what I like, if I want to talk, I do it. if not I don't, if I have a question I ask people thinks. The older you get the less you give a damn you can see that from your old coworker or family members and I just copyed what they did, makes life a lot easier.
@@JulienHimself it's not just me that is framing reality in a way wherein I'm the main character and such, everyone feels this way, and the stuff you spoke to about having that chip on your shoulder regarding high school friends was relatable as well. My top takeaway was that no one cares at all what I do and only my own validation matters because only I truly know or care who I am. The friends (the show) analogy was also very revealing. I need to stop taking myself so seriously and will be taking steps toward that.
I've been having a hard time with some of these concepts recently, I needed to hear your words, thank you for uploading, got yourself a new subscriber.
Whatever state your in is what's reflected back to you focus isn't wonderful gratitude ❤towards all inner state outer effect your thoughts are things choose in favor of yourself ego must be subdued not denied of its silver tongue not adhered hibitt
This is almost like mixing zen and pickup. The lesson to learn here is that nobody cares if you mess up. You can do crazy stuff and be okay. Your ego doesnt serve you well. I doubt Julien is spiritual but he is on to something anyways.
I mean there have been some extraordinary figures throughout history whom people think about even after thousands of years....I'm sure you can name a few.
The problem with this is you know in your mind that you judge people around you harshly, or if you don’t, you’ve heard people talk to you about how they judge others harshly. I think there’s a truth that people aren’t paying as much attention as we think (which is liberating), but we’re definitely not background characters and we definitely are being judged and usually very harshly (eg egotistic fal.
Personally my opinions seems like he still which he lowkey obviously does feels a way bout being then”loser” or not the “cool kid” nd feeling left out nd just not involved in the mix. Maybe he’s reflected bad energy in his past that’s why people don’t care about him or bother seeing what he is doing . But there are def ppl who care bout u nd also def people who want to see what u r doing it up to not all the time but every now and then sure. Him stating that as a fact that no one at allll does just seems personal to him . My opinion tho
@@willcruz._7448 I try not to be judgemental and I don't really feel any natural reflex to be so (to the best of my knowledge), but yeah I definitely get the impression too--could also be wrong. Our first experiences with independent social interaction (ie, without parents) tend to be indelible so I feel like it's better to try to grow from them instead of outright deny these influences
Dealing with "extremely" widespread, but mostly unfounded gossip: even if they DO remember you, they don't care. I just cared too much to make it spread so easily for them.
Very amazing content. I'm a wounded warrior and I need all the help I can get. Thank you sir for your generosity of posting these videos for free. Please brush your hair for the love of God. Thanks again
Your less attached..thats what sticks out here, meditation helps being less attached a lot by the way. Give that a shot for a few weeks. See what changes
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Why are you reading every comment? Haha
@@JustinHubertusIt connects me to my audience… 😉
First video. Subscribed. I used to operate from that mindset, too. So... thank you for reminding me by way of this video.
Have a nice one and keep 'em coming.
Julian you made one major error. You may have forgot that just because something can make sense. That it doesn’t mean that’s it’s the best way to view the world and daily life.
What’s the point in thinking something that doesn’t had cheer and fondness from life and the people around you.
In other words if you look at everything as stupid it might indicate that you’ve lost yourself along the way.
I like the idea and have thought similar things over the years. Not sure what implementing it would look like
"True confidence is I don't seek my self-worth in others, but I am still aware of it. So I can still recieve feedback and adjust, without it affecting who I am." - I like this a lot.
Yes! Glad that part resonates!
So happy for this video. I think like you said at the about feedback, but in the end, it’s always changes for good that you want to make. Peoppe who want to lose weight for example, always have an ”easy” time if they do it for them personally. Pressure by society always fails, because it’s fictional, not real and disconnected.
I agree with this as well. Especially the feedback piece. So important! But don't rely SOLEY on your self-worth from others but it's good to get validation from time-to-time x'D ! Just don't be too needy....:P !
"I can still recieve feedback and adjust"
What happens when
1) this feedback is masked as good advice but in reality it is pathological lying and hidden agenda behind it - and we have no chance to doubt it nor to check it?
2) when this feedback is actually relentless criticism from someone who is mimicking being normal outside but they are abnormal inside and have pathological tendencies - and once again - we are not aware of it nor we can check it so
3) we are stuck with this tainted "feedback" and we cannot leave.
What happens in reality this feedback is actually psychological and emotional abuse,
and
What happens is exposure to psychological abuse will have effect on our mental state.
The idea that we love ourselves and have self worth and not depend on someone's opinion - will not help with after-effect of being exposed to narcissistic abuse.
Long term exposure to narcissistic abuse causes brain injury - google it.
We cannot wish this injury to go away, we cannot de-sensitize ourselves from this injury - this injury will happen just for being exposed to it over long period of time.
It is like being in Chernobyl - we won't develop anti-radiation in our body, staying in toxic place will destroy our body instead of wishful thinking that somehow we will become strong and resilient by staying with toxicity.
Self worth is not magical sword, it is basis for action and goals and innovation - but our egocentrism and veil over reality is not proper tool for handling social life and volition of other people. We need another tool instead of self worth and just simply being ourselves.
We need education - that we recognize external factor, like virus attacking our cells - if we do not have idea that virus exists it will eat us alive from inside. The same as for toxic people.
Red flags to cut off toxic people immediately when we are able to walk away.
Self worth is not being open and friendly and being without boundaries and inviting all people in - self worth is not being cool and super confident.
Social engagement is self worth - but this does not mean negative politeness and agreeableness with anyone.
When we are stuck with toxic people and we cannot leave - there is no immediate solution.
it simply means we are in losing game as long as we stay in toxicity. Then our next tool would be plan and projects - how to relocate - earn money and leave as life project.
Idea to self pathologize ourselves for not feeling confident in times when we are inside toxic ambient is wrong, it is self abuse.
People don't remember what you do or say, they remember how you make them feel. You can do whatever you want, as long as your kind to others, people will think fondly of you.
then why do nice guys get no women lol
@@James_36 Because they don't want to feel "nice".
Also: nice guys do get women all the time. Except in the manosphere.
@@EaglePicking they dont, and if they get into a relationship its because the woman is abusing them until they are bored, which could last decades btw
@layman linguist they might be nice to you, but I imagine your parents relationship and your family have dynamics that are not necessarily "nice" who you think wears the pants in the relationships? cus one will
Being a kind man isn't being a nice guy
35 years ago, because my young son took nothing seriously, not his education, not his family relationships, not his friendships or responsibilities, I made a sign and tacked it onto his bedroom door.
It read:
-“Nobody else cares if you ever make it. It’s your job to care about yourself.”
did he achieve anything in life?
Sounds like a case of poor parenting skills blaming the results. Typical from parents of exceptional children. Bet the kid did JUST fine:: And Not because of a desperation Note from mommy.
You don't care so much that you take time to write it, and even write it here 35 years later. Cringe
Sounds a lot like me. I was never close to my father. He was always negative and in a bad mood. Great at fixing things but never taught me anything because he always did it, while I was just holding the flashlight. Sometimes he would let me try but if I couldn’t do it in a few seconds he’d get impatient and do it himself.
He was stern but always gave up immediately and told me to “do whatever I wanted” in anger when I didn’t listen. As a kid you pick that up real quickly and know that you don’t have to listen to him. He bought good gifts though. Always made sure I had a good pc and all that. But I would have preferred life advice and real skills over just material stuff.
The primary emotion about my father growing up was always “I never want to be like him”. Especially him always being negative and there never being a moment of happiness from him.
But none of that matters now. Doesn’t matter if it had an effect on me or not it’s my responsibility now to do the best with what I got.
@@Anna-mv9ew he wasn’t saying *he* didn’t care, he was letting the kid know that the world is cruel and doesn’t give a shit about him, it’s up to him to ensure his own happiness and success. Bottom line being, no point rebelling against the world, no one is going to save you. That’s a kindness, to be told that overtly when young.
I stopped caring what people thought a long time ago and now I focus on the perception I have of myself and as long as I love me and I'm having fun and not hurting anyone else along the way, I'm happy.
Isolation and building walls is as much as dysfunctional as being people pleaser and pushover and trying to appease other people. It simply are two extremes of the same issue - being stuck in toxic ambient outside of our control.
People pleasing and being agreeable is not sickness, it is not pathology. It becomes pathology and sickness when the toxic person is exploiting us and interacting with us with their hidden agenda - then caring what other people think becomes tool to abuse us through guilt and shame.
We need caring what other people think - with normal people. Without this ability we will become psychopaths, monsters, we need to form contact with other people through interdependence. If we isolate ourselves we will develop serious psychological issues such as paranoia and delusions. If we choose Fight response for dealing with people - we will scare good and nice people and be stuck with damaged people.
We cannot form friendships nor intimate relationships if we are frozen and afraid of being vulnerable, without taking care of others and without caring what other person thinks.
I have panic disorder that makes me lose consciousness in public (crowds). My main trigger is people (crowds and being judged). Thank you so much for posting this!
Same
Quit every single thing that gives you satisfaction in the short term but nothing or negative results in the long term. You want to plant seeds with every thought you make but you can’t when you don’t have the willpower pc you blow your dopamine stores,
When you have the willpower, you’ll be able to jump into any situation or process & face rejection or failures. You can only learn by jumping in.
Research everything that burns your dopamine, make a list & stay away from these things.
I have acne and whenever I was in a crowded area like a town square I was always feeling looked at and put the mask to cover the pimples, but now I'm like "No one's watching, who cares" and just go about my day
You don’t have a panic disorder thats bullshit that bullshit doctors gave to you
You have a trauma that makes fear arise, you have to accept this fear and make it be a part of you not avoid it. You can’t deny a part of you that’s afraid that the same thing that happened is going to happen again. Once you let the fear do it’s thing it’s going to vanish. The thing that makes everything worse is you blocking it and making the symptoms worse. Love the fear accept it you can’t run from it
About the consciousness, fear makes your mind focus on that one thing you fear from, imagine being chased by someone with a knife would your consciousness focus on the guy or on other things?
The fear being blocked in the belly, watch it with your soul don’t get bullied by it watch it do it’s thing dont suppress
My sister always says that we’re all important and unimportant at the same time. As a perfectionist who’s been diagnosed with Anxiety disorder…it’s definitely hard letting go. I did a hypnotherapy session the other day though and I feel really good after it. Better than anything I’ve tried before. Think you just need realize what you’re doing is meaningful and not focus on others judgement to get ahead in life.
Hey, there's a workbook called "the ACT workbook for perfectionism" I've been working through it and finding it very helpful
This is powerful stuff and thank you for it. I'm about to turn 44 and have lived almost my entire life in fear of what others think. I've done for myself but I've always had this deep inane fear that has stopped me from reaching new heights or taking great opportunities. This has seriously changed my mindset on how to move forwards. Thanks again!
Bro i fallow you from Egypt, i just showd that to my social anxiety friend and he got motivated to socialise . You and Owen are literally changing lives in different parts of the world with these videos ❤️
🙏🙏🙏
@Karam Zidan lol wut. Or... what if it's one hand on a mirror
I just found you, and I am loving these videos. I struggle from very sever social anxiety and depression but I’m trying to get my mind right and confidence up and these videos are definitely helpful towards that
Welcome to the channel! Glad my content is helpful! 🙏
You should also try the wim hof method really helped me
How are you doing now after watching this video?
U know music Wunna❤
Delete social media that’s more than likely the cause of your issues
We may be dumb with short attention span but you presented this in such an interesting way, I couldn't stop watching. Awesome to hear a real person share. Thank you!!
Thank you! Glad this connected with you and was helpful! 🙌
It's very challenging not taking anything personal, there's a lot of attachments to let go of! Thank you for your teachings Julien!
You’re welcome! 🙏
Not taking anything personal is a sign of psychopathy.
Idea of trauma splitting and bi-polar thinking is not healthy.
We live in fuzzy logic, not Aristotelian logic of ones and zeros, black and white world.
Needed this today thank you. I’m already quite unfiltered verbally with people I know and don’t take part in what everyone else is doing to fit in etc
But need to work on not caring what the general public think when I’m out and about. Looking forward to more of your knowledge, the npc analogy is incredible
@Jay I really think you’ve overthought it all man. Just be yourself, if someone asks you something that’s “unacceptable” you simply say no instead of worrying about offending them.
I feel that!
The proof of the diminution of the attention span reside in the fact that you can put different videos you did in different cities but with almost the same content and barely no one notices! 😅 But it’s a good thing to do because those concepts continues to grow each time that we hear them!
True! I also do this sometimes for the newer audience, where the older videos no longer get promoted to them...
All concepts grow overtime you just got to put in the work
Great point Alexandre. I’ll add that innovation comes from iteration. Repetition is helpful 😊
This hack does indeed work miracles! I have been trying out walking in the street while recording a vlog (inspired in the podcast exercise) and it keeps proving how this is true, nobody even reacts to anything I say or do 🙌
Nice! 🔥👊
Oh, hello there, Nacho. How long have you been following Julien?
This is why suicidal ideation with the idea that everyone will be so sorry once it happens is THE STUPIDEST reason to take your own life, no one is actually going to care and even those that pretend they do will forget about it within a week and move on with there life’s. Your not going to make the statement you think you will be.
Julien. I wish you know that you are the best. No freaking experts could explain these things in 16 minutes. so Believe in yourself, and keep this fantastic content going brother.
🙏🙏🙏
The fact that he looks like that and has people listening to him is proof that it really is all about confidence lol
I think it’s more applicable to big cities, as in small cities people are tend to notice and remember each other, even gossip. I know this for myself, as I often meet and speak to new people outside.
Exactly, if I go to London, everyone acts like they’ve got a life to get on with. I live in a small town and most people here try to socially engage or they stare with some judgmental facial expression, drives me mad.
Yes.. and when you do or say something stupid, you'll always be remembered as that guy/girl.. Everyone will know about it, your friends, neighbors, mailman, local store employees... They stick their nose in others business because theirs is boring
@@richard_from_england333 I think people who live in big cities are surrounded by lots of different kinds of people who want different things in life and so city people have no choice but to behave in a universally respectful way (which I think they do for the most part) in order to coexist with each other, basically "mind your own business and focus on your own life unless anything indicates you can do otherwise", because if they don't they'll very quickly be singled out and probably feel embarassed and stupid (and so they should), but people who live in small villages/towns don't have this incentive because they spend all their time around the same people who accept and enable whatever character flaws they may have and so they do all of this inappropriate shit like not minding their own business, staring directly at you and trying to convey their judgment and assumptions onto you with their facial expression, when you don't care for the most part because you don't even know each other, which is what I unfortunately get to experience every day from living in a small town and it drives me mad. That shit doesn't fly in London because you would just get blank stares or stabbed even. Whenever I've walked through London I've never gotten that sort of nosy attitude from anyone.
Kinda wild to think about everyone in a big city circle they all care to work work work on their ambition which drives them away from thinking about other people and their emotion towards them, it's like shifting from a feminine energy to a masculine energy in a way
Another added benefit of living for yourself and not the approval of others is actually attracting people like you. If you start singing in a Starbucks, someone might join in and you've found a fun new friend. If your really into something niche, owning it could connect you to others who share your interests. When we put on a "cool" façade, we limit out connections to people who we don't really reflect who we wanna be.
I feel so empowered when I watch your videos Julien.
Thank you so much 🙏
You're so welcome! Glad my content has been empowering for you! 🔥
Whatever NPC
I enjoyed your Ross story from Friends. Thinking about the story as being him in that situation sounds like your whole world is going to end. Thinking of the story as a someone seeing him do all of that is hilarious. Another way of viewing life situations is to realize things are what you make them out to be. Most stress and anxiety come from within. If you think it's the end of the world, guess what? It is. Great vid.
Thanks for all of this. It is all so true and so freeing! And fun to remember and apply in real life and then any anxiety just becomes so comical. This is actually life changing. Really thank you!
Yes! You’re so welcome!
Julien I remember being at the 3 day event looking insane hair over grown long red beard, I relate to your story moving out to L.A. I did acting comedy but got totally destroyed by the lifestyle here you and Owen have been life savers and since then I genuinely shaved, cleaned up a little bit and got a mentor I could afford right now I can't afford TM right now living under a bridge and things are still kind of hard man but I remember also you talking about just being care free, fun, and passionate, and scheduling that on your schedule or a day of doing nothing so I tweaked it a bit and committed to a day of doing nothing but laughing and smiling you and Owen are really it's sad to say but the few honest and authenticly down to earth humans left in the world. Thank you for saving me from the hell on earth!
The danger of thinking everyone is an npc, is that you think you are more important than other people. You will become self absorbed.
Really really fresh take. Probably also totally grokked by the wise thousands of years ago. Feels great hearing truth expressed in such very accessible language. You can get it if you work and chip away in books but its amazing when you can hear it spoken in a way that lets you have a key meet lock moment. Perspective is so powerful. So hard to gain. But also hard to unsee or forget once you've really seen it. The Ross example really brings it all together. And everything leading up to that made so much sense that it's oh yeah yes true, verified, experienced, yes....But how do I DO that in real time. Lots of mental habits that pull us back into the movie. Lots of coping stuff, pain avoidance. Free is scary. The unknown is scary. The louder that knock on the door gets though and you know that's truth knocking... Opening up to the encounter is just such a good choice. Hope I can hold onto something from this in all the noise.
Hey man! Just checking in to tell you that your course has actually changed my life around a year and a half ago. The transformation mastery course has helped me so much I feel like I'm the best version of me at the moment. I cannot thank you enough. THANKS A BUNCH MAN. All of this stuff you're telling in the video, it feels so obvious now it's nuts.
So again, THANK YOU
Amazing to hear!! So happy for you! 🙏
I personally remember things in the past even if I bullied someone, or been bullied.
And I do sense their energy if I see them again whether it’s been a grudge or some type of emotion.
I think people do care and remember. Even in group conversations people talk about things in the past, and the energy in person that they bring with them over it is present, and the other will feel it.
Hypervigilant people- usually from trauma- can be more in tune with people's disapproval and ill feeling, but sometimes we forget we can work a person passed it by creating a new impression without being over eager and over pleasing to do so, just cool and calm and kind. Some people can't get passed how they made you feel or you made them feel once upon a time, and you cut the losses...the hardest part I find is engaging in new friendships after some failed ones. But really it's a matter of finding balance in myself. Starting with not worrying about what people think, which is very difficult to do.
I do not forget when someone did something bad or good. I might not care to seek you actively but if we ever meet I remember it well.
That might be true to some extend when speaking about violent or psychlogically traumatic experiences. But in every day life, you can walk into the office dressed like a bum with the cringiest hairstyle ever, get home, take a shower, get a haircut and 3 days later noone will give a fuck. They will simply forget or not even notice at all.
Except if youre dealing with predatory assholes.
But thats a diffrent story and you generally shouldn't hang around idiots in the first place.
And even if they remember, why should you care ? That's the whole point of the video. Fuck their opinion... Stick to those who treat you well and ignore everything else.
In my location the culture is a matured version of bully or being bullied. So everyone there is always hypervigilant always noticing and sensing others . Especially this is markedly apparent in my town whereas in other cities people vare about their own businesses.
I personally feel that most people in my town are energy vampires and they try to remain without worry and guilt by making others suffer so that they can enjoy life
If you want to survive energy vampires you have to be in a worry free state of mind
Even my family doesn’t care! Do what makes your heart sing!
Dude literally just described a huge part of what enlightenment is without ever getting spiritual whatsoever. That was fantastic, thank you.
You’re so welcome! 🙏
Yeah, you don't need religion or spirituality to understand what's important in life.
Yea religion gives you purpose of life not necessarily what's important in life but in the hereafter
@@mohammedjafer9265 Are You A Jew or Zoroastrian
“If no one cares and I just had to do it for me, what would I do?” I hope I remember that for the rest of my life.
Write it down! 😉
I found this channel a week ago it's been a life changer
Im going to what i found danger
Like with open chest n allowing myself to embarrass the hell out of myself ofc it triggers but im not mad at myself
Easier said than done, Julien. I grew up in a small community where other peoples opinions meant a hell of a lot, and now as an adult I cannot seem to get a hold of myself.
That’s still no excuse… I grew up in a small farm town of 650 people so I get it. Let me know if you’d like my help with this: application.julienhimself.com
It does matter what people think of you (to an extent) that’s how our world was built, that’s how our tribes functioned. We ridiculed certain things we didn’t like so we so we can produce the people we wanted; it’s called socialization.
But aside from all that: be the person you want to be.
@@lifeandliftingwithyanek8717 which is why you should find your tribe. You're not a slave to a tribe anymore for a long time. You can move. It's better to be alone than surrounded by people who make you feel lonely, so you can take pleasure to know you're caring for yourself while searching for a tribe, or even starting your own tribe.
Constantly tell yourself real truths
@@cynthiabauer5763 True, we're not forced to live with a tribe or community we don't like, anymore, the only reason why conforming to the group was important back then was because getting kicked out of the group ment you were sabertooth chow, but nowadays it's not so life and death so leaving the group is more reasonable now.
I once did push ups with my friend encouraging me in the middle of the school break and there were many people around me, but guess what happened? NOTHING. Actually, a guy came up to me and was very chill and congratulating me about it and we talked for some months until I moved to another school. But besides that, nothing negative
Struggling with social anxiety and self esteem issues. This video is amazing! Immediatly subbed!
Glad this was helpful! Welcome to the channel! 🙏
i get the premise behind thinking of others as npcs as a coping mechanism for social anxiety etc, but in my experience it's not true to reality.. yes people have their own things going on and are preoccupied in their own heads to an extent, but when you treat people as people and not npcs they do take notice and give you thought and that's a good thing, otherwise we're gonna go through life not making meaningful connections with new people because of a coping strategy; which in turn will lower the chances of you even getting to practice social skills thus making confidence issues an ongoing thing.
you didn't get the point of the speech
This man doesn't think about anyone and is indifferent to everyone.
When you imagine a zombie apocalypse, you always see yourself as one of the survivors fighting against the NPC zombies.
You are the star of your own show.
I understand what you're saying but I tend to think about people from the past, of course you don't think about strangers but people who have played a role in your life tend to pop up in your memory from time to time
Wish i heard this 30 years ago. I never thought of it this way. I gotta listen to this every day to remind myself because I'm always obsessed with what others are thinking about me. Not on purpose, the damn negative thoughts are so annoying, so it makes me just avoid going places.
How can we clone this guy? Who's with me? Too many takeaways to even start listing them out. Excellent video. Thank you.
While it's true that your opinion of yourself is the one that should matter most, a lot of people have a high opinion of themselves that they don't really deserve. Humanity exists and shares an objective reality, and the further you get from that reality, the more others will take notice and avoid you.
That's fine if you're heading to Walmart, but in any other facet of life, what others think of you matters greatly. In fact, your success in life really depends on the good opinion of others. It's why conformity is such a powerful thing and why your reputation matters.
I always tell people very similar sentiments. Most people are suffering from crippling anxiety and they most certainly don't care and won't remember you or what you do and the ones that do will reach out and show you and it's all good at that point
"You are the background character in everyone else's movie. You can fart away and no one will notice."
The bit about receiving feedback while not being affected by it is so good. Like, you can't just ignore what people think, we live in a society and you need stuff from others, but your ego should not be triggered by feedback, it's a good fine line
I know that I could pick food out of a trash can and people walking past probably wouldn't care. But I think the issue is that once you join certain groups, there is an expected level of conduct or buy in to maintain relationships.
Very real comment here. Yes!
Not even join.. People will force you into a group they think you belong to
I dumpster divied before, this helps with not caring.
This felt simultaneously relieving and depressing.
I have shared a great deal of your videos. Some life changing perspectives for myself and others. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. This vid...i totally see the angle and agree the majority of us are that way but i know many that keep others in mind. We after all social creatures and do care. Cycle through memories. Try to keep in touch with those we connect with and create new memories. Do agree though...the passing judgement of the typical NPC should not affect anyones confidence. Update: other video put this one in context. 👍👍👍 Truly hoping people latch on to the guidance your providing
This is without a doubt one of the best pieces of content I've ever seen. Wow
Thank you! 🙏
I have a sever ocd. .. . This just gave me a way to overcome it completely along with knowing that people really don't care and that I have the final say. This is actually really sound advice. Time to recover!
Just wanted to tune in- I don't have a diagnose of OCD but I had a partner who did and I get easily irritated too when things are out of order. Just wanted to encourage you that OCD can be a sort of gift too, because it creates routine and security and sometimes too for those around us. I'm sorry if it causes you distress, but I hope too you have learned to reframe our quirks as also unique gifts we can balance with self care, nature trips, some healthy choices thrown in like water vitamins short exercise calm music on youtube.
Wooooooooow!!!!! So glad i found this channel!!!
Never seen you in my personal movie before. Good work buddy. Just what I needed.
the first minute. i answered yes to every one of your questions. i went to the comments, casually assuming others would feel as i. now i feel out of the loop. if you were me, would you continue watching for another 15 minutes?
He's back.
🔥👊
It's not accurate to say that no one cares & people are NPCs though, yes people are self centred but people can also have empathy for others and care about others. To say someone is an NPC is to minimise that they also have feelings and encourage a lack of empathy towards someone who may also care. The truth is that there are levels of caring
Become meaner. Don't care about there emotions that come through they're face they aren't yours. Empower yourself don't be nice it gets you nowhere become a monster.
I'm giggling so much right now, Because of how true all you said is. I needed to be told this soooooo bad and I didn't even know... Holy yes thank you!!! I needed to be told it all
Love you Julien. You and Owen should both be King and Queen of the world. You guys can work out which role you'll fulfill though.
I've never only just been aware of what's 3 feet from me. Yes I do stay alert and pay attention to everyone around me the best I can. I don't see how other women don't. Carry on tho
You sir are a genius! I watch more UA-cam videos than anyone I’ve ever heard of. It’s what I get to do all day! I just gave my first like and subscribed for the first time in YEARS!!! Let’s see what else you got!
Thank you! Welcome to the channel! 🙏
Julian is a caricature of what he used to be. The body posture is so different. The public stunt really did a number.
I think ppl need the old Julien now more than ever. Regardless, he was very impactful around the time Pimp came out and I'm happy if he's happy👍🏼💯
The dumbing down of society is absolutely real and is the main reason why I deactivated my facebook account for mental health reasons.
Realizing everyone are NPCs makes an interesting point. In IronMan 3, the main antagonist says that realizing nobody cared was a gift because he could work unhindered, anonymously. Now dont become a supervillain, but learn from that lesson. Theres not enough time in the day to do what you need to do and to also obsess over what other people think. Obsessing will always win and you will always take the loss.
You're right but taking it a little too far. People do remember that you are a weirdo or a creep and will punish you if they see you again. They aren't thinking about you when you aren't in sight though. You are so so right and I really appreciate your points. Also I'm different from other people it seems because I do remember people even from years ago, some for bad reasons but most for good reasons.
Man, I didn't know you until now. But you are extremely awake. You are right about all of the points!
Thank you! Glad this resonates!
It is true no one cares really and if they do it’s not as much as we think they do
I must say I certainly do look around far ahead and across the street. I am old school, I never look at my phone when walking nor do I have ear pods in. Being aware of my surroundings comes very naturally for me.
Not going to lie, I still can’t believe Nipsey is gone. An acute feeling of grief hits me. He never knew who I was, which embarrassing at the onset.
But, the impact was made through inspiration.
LSS - I do think people think about you, or us, bruh. Just not as many as you’d think. Even the closest people to us don’t care about us as much as you’d think.
Idk what happened. Maybe it was when I hit my 30s. My God, it was life-changing when I finally realized that I don't care and pretty much no one else does either. Nobody cares. Others care about themselves and their circle. Live life for you. It's the way to happiness
On the topic of people getting dumber, that’s why Devo is one of my favorite bands. De-evolution is a real thing.
Im amazed its taken this long for me to hear someone voice what I've been trying to tell people for so long, no one cares about you because they care too much about, not you, but your thoughts on them
Yes, exactly!
Don't listen if you're suicidal 😬
You should be awarded medal of honor
Fear of being judged comes from the fact that you judge people in your mind. Stop judging them you will free from that fear.
The problem is not whether people care about you but that they want things from you, like attention and validation, for example making you feel small to make themselves feel bigger.
Isn’t that further reinforcing his speech that nobody cares about you, and you’re just an NPC in their life and you’re just their background actor? He’s just having an interaction with you as an NPC in their life, and it’s their life so they don’t care about the NPC
@@kenyouseeme My point is that nobody caring about you is not always a reason to be confident.
Actually practical. He has much better examples than most self help coaches
Thank you! Glad this was helpful! 🙏
11:50 the way dudes nodded looking at each other 🔥😂
Had a problem in my younger years with talking to people and giving a speeches , but the older I get the less I give a sh*t about what others think, I do what I like, if I want to talk, I do it. if not I don't, if I have a question I ask people thinks. The older you get the less you give a damn you can see that from your old coworker or family members and I just copyed what they did, makes life a lot easier.
On point as usual, thanks for the value Julian
Thanks so much! What was your top takeaway btw?
@@JulienHimself it's not just me that is framing reality in a way wherein I'm the main character and such, everyone feels this way, and the stuff you spoke to about having that chip on your shoulder regarding high school friends was relatable as well. My top takeaway was that no one cares at all what I do and only my own validation matters because only I truly know or care who I am. The friends (the show) analogy was also very revealing. I need to stop taking myself so seriously and will be taking steps toward that.
'Whats that npc doing' had alot of impact.
👌👌
I've been having a hard time with some of these concepts recently, I needed to hear your words, thank you for uploading, got yourself a new subscriber.
Thank you! Welcome to the channel! 🙏
This video just healed me from my fears brooooo
Whatever state your in is what's reflected back to you focus isn't wonderful gratitude ❤towards all inner state outer effect your thoughts are things choose in favor of yourself ego must be subdued not denied of its silver tongue not adhered hibitt
Bruh y'all know 40 from "YOU" ...this guy is giving that energy 😂😂
This is almost like mixing zen and pickup. The lesson to learn here is that nobody cares if you mess up. You can do crazy stuff and be okay. Your ego doesnt serve you well. I doubt Julien is spiritual but he is on to something anyways.
I mean there have been some extraordinary figures throughout history whom people think about even after thousands of years....I'm sure you can name a few.
I appreciated "Don't be triggered by the feedback, take in the data". Reminds me of Quit taking it personally (Q.T.I.P.).
Julien why are you so fucking good
You are opening my eyes to reality
Some people do. Not everyone doesn't notice. I notice
The problem with this is you know in your mind that you judge people around you harshly, or if you don’t, you’ve heard people talk to you about how they judge others harshly.
I think there’s a truth that people aren’t paying as much attention as we think (which is liberating), but we’re definitely not background characters and we definitely are being judged and usually very harshly (eg egotistic fal.
Personally my opinions seems like he still which he lowkey obviously does feels a way bout being then”loser” or not the “cool kid” nd feeling left out nd just not involved in the mix. Maybe he’s reflected bad energy in his past that’s why people don’t care about him or bother seeing what he is doing . But there are def ppl who care bout u nd also def people who want to see what u r doing it up to not all the time but every now and then sure. Him stating that as a fact that no one at allll does just seems personal to him . My opinion tho
@@willcruz._7448 I try not to be judgemental and I don't really feel any natural reflex to be so (to the best of my knowledge), but yeah I definitely get the impression too--could also be wrong. Our first experiences with independent social interaction (ie, without parents) tend to be indelible so I feel like it's better to try to grow from them instead of outright deny these influences
That was probably the most inspiring video I've watched on youtube so far
Most people don’t realize:
“Thoughts are not real”.
(and that they should largely be ignored).
Now you made me want to go to the closest Starbucks and give my best rendition of Baby I love your way!
Thank you man, you provide so much value to your community 👌
Thank you for suggesting “Waking the Tiger” as a book, life changing work. Really appreciate the recommendation.
You're so welcome!
Dealing with "extremely" widespread, but mostly unfounded gossip: even if they DO remember you, they don't care.
I just cared too much to make it spread so easily for them.
Eye opener, I love all the videos I ve seen from you so far, thank you for doing this!
You're so welcome! Glad to hear they're impactful! 🙏
Very amazing content. I'm a wounded warrior and I need all the help I can get.
Thank you sir for your generosity of posting these videos for free.
Please brush your hair for the love of God.
Thanks again
As someone who works in a coffee shop Trust me we remember you and we fucking talk about you as soon as you leave the shop just FYI
🤣
Your less attached..thats what sticks out here, meditation helps being less attached a lot by the way. Give that a shot for a few weeks. See what changes