Відео

Although I've always been a weird artist, who does their best to dress like Bowie, I have masked hard for 50 years. I "get away" with a lot because I am an artist. Even though I have said things like "I have to squirm and jiggle to focus" or "I can tell you how to perform in public: I wear an invisible suit and pretend to be someone else to do anything I do, even tog et out of the house", am hypersensitive, "shy" etc lack of knowledge about autism has led to me still be able to mask. (Now that I know this really makes me laugh). Nonetheless, now that I know I am some kind of variety flavor of neurodivergent and try to be myself, I feel like my family (the one I was born to and my spouse) are somewhere in between discomfort, annoyance and disgust. Yeah, it is very complicated and everyone has a different experience.

I really appreciate your opinions on cars and idiot drivers! Also "I am *always* irritable so yeah, I will say *often*". Hehehe Love it! Thank you for being so human about this: well yeah, this is just being human. Indeed my wise friend

I just want to thank you for making the videos I know there's got to be parts that get to you it would me put an alarm for I can't catch my breath you allowed me to breathe just hearing someone else say the things that I live with every day and helps I don't want to bring anybody down but I just kind of want to talk to someone that could understand it's really rough I'm being mean I'm 44 and I have lived most of my life not understanding that I was different just thinking that I was somehow not good enough I couldn't do what everyone else just naturally did no problem but it was such a struggle for me and then the society that I live in the best I can hope for is someone to laugh at me normally I'm completely ignored no one understands no one cares to understand I'm screaming inside absolutely losing my mind to the point I'm ready to kill myself people look at me and their opinion is all that matters there is so much more I want to say but I'm going to just post this before I erase it your videos are awesome dude do what's right for you I'd love to see more and does anyone have a good way of explaining to someone what it's like what the pure hell of day-to-day life can be for someone with autism how do you explain that to someone who has no idea no clue what it's like just basically sees you as weak I guess how do you explain that to where they can understand I need to know

This video really hit home for me, Paul! As a newly diagnosed autistic 60 year old woman, I've been watching alot of videos about autism, particularly this past year (I was just diagnosed 5 months ago). I have to say I find your take especially refreshing! While I appreciate that there is alot more openness and information available about autism these days, I get frustrated watching some other autism channels. So many autistic video creators nowadays advocate "unmasking", just "take off your mask and be yourself". That's all well and good, except that I've been masking for the past 6 decades, and up until recently I didn't even know I was doing it. Patterns of behavior are now very deeply ingrained, and I don't really know how to "be myself". Who am I, apart from the "self" that I project out to the world in order to be accepted?(although I've mostly failed miserably at being accepted; NT's can always sense something "different" about me, no matter what I do). And I resonate so much with what you said about how being yourself is offensive to the world. On the occasions when my mask slips and I decide to be honest, I apparently come across as offensive and rude. I wouldn't ever intentionally hurt someone, but sometimes the truth is just the truth, and it feels like a lie to say something otherwise.

I thought for sure you were gonna say "I'm m not an educator; I'm just an autistic bloke." One of my sons was diagnosed when he was 4 as high-functioning. He's done really well for the last 5 years and he's almost 22. But now I'm starting to see a lot of struggles he's having around career. He's having a hard time staying employed now because he doesn't want to play "The Game." He tried being self-employed for a week and a half and that just blew up because he's too disorganized and he got very overwhelmed with managing everything.

I'm a 60 year old woman who was just formally diagnosed autistic 5 months ago. I tried going through my insurance, but was told they only pay for children, not adults. So I paid a good amount of money to get my diagnosis privately. I have suspected I was autistic for about 15 years, and finally last year decided it was time to find out for sure. It wasn't to get anything out of it (at my age, there are many accomodations I would qualify for), but rather just for my own peace of mind. I haven't told anyone yet of my diagnosis (besides my therapist, who I just began working with a few months ago). I don't actually have any friends at the moment, and don't do much socially, and I'm estranged from my family, so there isn't really anyone to tell. Maybe someday I will share it, but I'm going to be very careful about who, and under what circumstances.

Hi Paul! This is my first visit to your channel, and I enjoyed this video very much! Thank you, and I'll be checking out more videos. 😊

Your music is beautiful. "The Letter" had me in tears.

Hi Paul, thank you for explaining about the costs of the autism life experience... I have pretty much always felt like this, but it's so validating and helpful to have clarification. Clothes, food, sounds, smells, people, public, lights, health issues, etc etc etc. It takes a lot of energy to cope with life to be honest. I can't participate in a lot of activities, situations, or go to certain places due to sensory issues, triggers, and even if it's just too hot or loud because it will cause me to have a severe anxiety attack. Whew 😵. So I have been trying very hard to just keep myself as comfortable as possible while dealing with my ASD. It's not easy. I just had my 68th birthday last week and I think 😮 it's amazing I made it, but I have, so it's possible. All the best to you from East Texas, and nice to see you here again Paul. Take good care.. 😊

Well done!

I've had the same thing my entire life. Would rather be too cold than too hot. I love chilly weather, don't mind shorts until it actually snows. I absolutely hate summer, need my mandatory two layers of upper clothing in order not to want to scratch myself out of my skin. But the first thing I do when I go back home is take off everything cause it's sweaty and put on my safe home-clothes. I'm Polish and trans so I always associated it with cultural differences and dysphoria but... Now I'm collecting all those little snippets of information to make sure my diagnosis goes through. It's such a relief having that ray of hope that maybe it wasn't my ill will to be so particular about things that bother me to the point of having to power through life and being utterly exhausted... Sorry for the long comment. I love your content, it helped me immensely with research and figuring stuff out!!

I’ve known since I was a child myself that I would not have kids. Primary reason is extreme medical phobia, I could not cope with the experience of being pregnant and giving birth so that’s always been a non-negotiable. At one point thought well, maybe I could adopt or have a surrogate, but the older I get the less ability I have to cope with children’s behaviours. The sensory side of it is unbearable. Babies I’m actually fine with, it’s once they get to the age where they’re doing their own thing. The uncertainty of raising a child, what might happen to them avoidable or not, the way the world and education is now would also really bother me. I’m completely at peace with this choice, I don’t even think about it. But I wish I knew more people who also felt the same way.

Trying to be persent in adult life,fucking sucks you know,no one truly cares about autism and daly stuggles

Ive been knowing iam austic my whole life and iam 21 about to be 22 and still havent got the proper help and been throught alot tramas in my life , its like you turly feel alone,this video strikes the heart for me thank you very much :)

You have a lovely voice, and its a beautiful song, very heart-felt, it made me emotional to hear it and listen to the lyrics. Thanks for sharing.

I was 43 when I found out. It sort of felt like a relief at first because a lot of rejection and social awkwardness suddenly made sense. But that boiling water… I was unable to contain by that time in my life, which is why I did the adult assessment in the first place, because I started manifesting more autistically to people on a regular basis and it was becoming visible, the side of me that I hid from everyone. What I found out, however, was that while it was a relief to know, it’s been difficult to discover the breadth of the effects. I know exactly what you mean about building a life on a mask and then revealing to people that that’s not really who you are. It reminds me of Jim Carrey going through a depressive episode and having everyone question the person that he was on the other side. He wasn’t the Jim Carrey that everyone knew. Everyone knows me to be a certain type of person to be able to work 13 hours for weeks on end and not show signs of stress except for private moments they don’t get to see. Suddenly showing all those people who I really am would look like I was going crazy. I’ve discovered the breadth of my masking I can pat my young self on the back for coming up with such a complicated mechanism to fitting in. And I just don’t have the confidence that people have taken off the social pressure that that young version of myself knew was there.

I'm jaxon I've been diagnosed with autism but how do you cope with people making comments like I get weird vibes and how do you cope with people talking behind your back. I have to hide my autism each day.

It does help. Thanks.

Im not diagnosed but my wife deeply believes I have autism. To be honest I agree with her. If I do have it I will tell anyone it isnt a super power to not be capable of building deep relationships with other people and to never be understood your entire life. Knowing youll die potentially never feeling a "true connection" with a human being. Yeah some super power -_-

Im 33 and have my assessment coming up next Wednesday so i have really enjoyed your channel and can relate to your experiences a lot

I am so screwed at 44 trying to start over with a new career when been self-employed until now. Can answer a job interview question perfectly in my head but getting that same answer out my mouth they way it sounded in my head, just say I am screwed. A lot of times I have just given up instead of doing the To-to -today Jr. moment. Don’t know which one is worse but it sucks it’s like my brain/subconscious is sabotaging me

Hello, Paul. I realize this video has been posted for a while, but it touches on almost everything I struggle with, and I just wanted to say it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Appreciate the content you make. Thank you. Waffle on.

Man I 100% agree and understand when you speak about people becoming upset that you use "adult with autism" instead of "autistic adult". I don't think they've ever faced any actual adversity.

Finally found someone who I can listen to without rolling my eyes or fast forwarding a video to get to the point! Well paced, realistic, no UA-camisms or loud background music. Subscribed 👍🏻

I don't fit in the neurotypical community and I don't fit in the Autism community. Good thing my cat likes me. This is the first time I've been able to connect with an opinion other than my own. Thanks for that.

😂 oddly enough I am a welder. Your not incorrect my friend, they only tolerate me because of my skill sets. Have a grandson on the spectrum. Bless his heart, he has a really bad time and much worse for him but I've masked for way too many years. Question for you sir, your thoughts on hereditary traits playing a part. I am confused as to whether this is passed down through generations...

I thought the puzzle piece was about finding where you fit in life or the world etc, then the rainbow symbol about peace and acceptance of everyone, so how about a puzzle piece with a rainbow on it?

I find the word suprrpower misleading, because even if someone has a skill they're exceptional at, they've lokely had to work at it all their lives to pefect it. I'm also registered blind and find the people patronising when they somehow find it amazing that I walk to and from the local shop, or whatever else I happen to do in daily life.

CAREFUL!.. I have implanted teeth & they're great 😁 BUT it's imperative to keep on top of dental hygiene (even more so than with natural teeth) including dental floss etc; cigarette smoking also puts u more at risk 4 infections; my friend has all her implanted teeth with rejection & it's hell

The national curiculum was only brought in in the 80s or 90s I think. Before that I'm people used to be tought ths more practical skills of life, as well as the academic stuff. I'm great academically and love intelectual things, but find the sitting in a classroom repeating the stuff the teacher just said really dull. I prefer libraries or researching at home, where there are minimal interruptions. I did have a great English teacher in years 7 and 8 and a great science teacher. In fact some of the books we read are ones I now love as an adult, but they have done something more constructive like have us read independently then write about the chapter or a chapter.

Thanks for the video. I'll be 35 this summer and been on the autism assessment waiting list about a year now. Totally get the thing about lost friendships. So many people have cut contact for no reason I can fathom. Some people even blocked me on the phone and online, yet acted like everything was fine in person. I alsl get dressed in the same order and find if I don't plan what I'm doing when, everything goes wrong or nothing gets done. Saying that though, if I want to stay home and relax I have to decide to do that too, or I'll be wondering what's happening when.

I'm biased, I see everything in black and white, but my baseline is I don't do nice things for not-nice people. Any exceptions are extremely rare (and usually complicated) scenarios. This is not that. Your feelings and actions are absolutely valid in my opinion.

Liked the bit about reading facial expressions; you might find the one that isn't laughing is autistic and just doesn't emote the humour they feel. I forget to smile/laugh when masking quite often.

Hi, I used to go once a week to a group meeting with about eight people where you would talk about your struggles for max. two hours altogether. I got attacked because I can't sit totally quiet without moving my hands and feet and so on. So I had to leave the group. I was the best listener of all of them, there is nothing wrong with my listening skills. This happens to me so often. Thank you for telling about your experiences

How did the Blue Badge thing work out by the way? I got the application form, and apparently I am supposed to be eligible. But I need a counter-signatory from a healthcare worker. And I need to present a real danger to myself or others because of my condition. 🤔 I just find parking in regular spaces extremely stressful due to my condition. But apparently that doesn't qualify. 🤷‍♂️

My big autism tax is the time & energy spent on accounting for my every thought and action to the 'Normie Inquisition'. Spoiler alert: they still don't understand after I've delivered a highly articulate and comprehensive explanation for doing some fleeting and trivial thing in a way that differs from them and a large bunch of the population.

I can certainly relate, especially about work. But I also work in a field that provides aid to people with handicaps and what I see there just underscores that the Tax is on all who are not an average drone. If you think autism apps are expensive, try software for the vision impaired or people with limited use of their body. Any type of handicap really is taxed to the roof.

The council put up a street light right outside my bedroom and it is one of those L.E.D lights it drives me f@*#ing crazy!

I certainly feel these things. But on the other side of the coin, every accommodation is stress imposed on the party providing the accommodation. Currently, we're getting the short-end, so some changes need to be made... anything low cost, low effort... give it to us. Things like allowing us to choose things that improve our situation and are of no consequence to others. Things that take some cost and effort, but they make a huge difference for us... let's work towards having those, too. Then, let's debate the remaining things. I bought a new water heater (boiler for those in the UK) and it has sat there next to the old one for 5 months now. Why? Because I spend so much time thinking about all of the details. I bought it because it should save me money... but it is sitting there costing me money not being installed. I do that with so many things. The tax is real.

Anker Q20i noise cancelling headphones £35 on Amazon. I can be in same room as washing machine and not hear it. Definitely recommend as cheaper alternative.

@21:05 Bet: it's because we die younger.

Weirdly true, I don't like haircuts and cleaning my teeth and taking a shower.

Thanks for the video! I'd venture to guess that insurance companies know that Autistics do or will have more health problems. Heart problems are one of the leading causes of death for Autistics, I'd say that's probably from a lifetime of stress and the nervous system being in fight or flight constantly. Most of us can't afford a life style that would mitigate some of that stress, so we check out a lot earlier than the general population.

Life insurance cost more because apparently suicide risk is higher for autistics. That’s what I’ve read as the reason anyway

After so many recommendations I finally got myself noise-canceling headphones! Luckily middle-range priced, as it turned out I can't stand using over-ear headphones. Gotta love being autistic mate 😆

Good chat fella. I struggle too with people who just don’t try to be good, helpful, kind and respectful people. Thats why it’s up to us to address the issues. Point out to people who are wasting oxygen. Gets us into trouble a lot but until the errors are fixed and education is shared, life will continue to be a tad irritating. This is Raymie from Rigloo Paul. Control the environment, control the outcome! Is it any wonder my Autism manifested into a survival product? 😂😂 Stay safe fella. Thanks for sharing. 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Your videos inspired me to get a private assessment and I've just been diagnosed with autism aged 52

Adhd diagnosed, similar to yourself although I get cold if not moving. Now medicated for adhd noticing possibly high functioning autism 🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh & ruined is the polite way to describe a heat sensory overwhelm approaching 🙈😂

if you knew about your autism earlier and avoided those high stress difficult situations because of the awareness you wouldn't be who you are now. In a way you've become better version of yourself because of your late diagnosis. Welcome to the club.

Insurance is like betting. You bet them something will go wrong, they bet a certain amount on the odds it won't, and if they're wrong, you get the pot. Charging more for the insurance is probably them getting their own insurance.