Adult with Autism | A Recent Burnout | 79
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- Опубліковано 16 лют 2023
- Keep up a high level of operating and don't realise until it's too late...and then, Burnout.
There isn't any chapters to help out with unfortunately, I just waffle for the entire video, and haven't even watched it back to see if I make any sense as I don't like seeing myself where I am not doing too good.
But as always, I will share the good, the bad and the ugly.
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I have adhd, autism, ocd, depression and anxiety and I feel for you! Burnouts for me are life halting and I cannot go forward again till I’ve worked it out. Hope you feel better soon paul 😊
Thank you. I'm getting there, just taking its time to come out of me!
Autism (genetics):
anxiety → adhd/ocd → depression/burnout ('depletion of resources')
Everything you expressed I feel and blame less myself or autism than modernity itself.
‘Whither should I fly? I have done no harm.
But I remember now I am in this earthly world;
where to do harm Is often laudable,
to do good sometime
Accounted dangerous folly.’
Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Sometime a good day can be found in finding a good song or reading an enlightening passage from a book.
ua-cam.com/video/8yoQ2uo5GNA/v-deo.html
Good point. We shouldn't have accommodations, we should be accepted and what we need which is different to non-Autistic people shouldn't be something we need to request. There is a problem with that, which is what doesn't help us.
I wonder if this is due to me living in a VERY military town in the US, but sir reads to me like the formal version of bro.
Haha, that's all I'll hear from today forward. 'Bro, yes bro!'
Hi Paul,
I am the same as you about having people in the flat. I had a heating engineer in yesterday and have been dreading it. The heating has been broken since December because I can't face the preparation for having someone come in to the flat. You are brave to go out and trust them in your house alone I hover over them like a shadow LOL asking them a hundred questions about what they are doing. This is so I know A. What the hell they are doing and B. For when it next goes wrong I can tell the next one what's going wrong. That was yesterday and now it's not working again already! I booked holiday for to have them fix it yesterday. I have the mould man coming round next Friday aswell and am dreading that. It's just a tiny bit on the bathroom ceiling but I can't reach it and I can't bare to have more than one trades person in the flat at one time so end up using a lot of my holiday for this stuff otherwise it gets too stressful. When I told my boss why I was taking the time off he said ' it's up to you if you want to waste your holiday on that' he doesn't understand how stressful it is for me and also they don't work weekends so I have to take time off for it. I am of the opinion that if you want a job doing properly best do it yourself. Trust me if I was qualified to fix the heating myself I would LOL.
It is a waste of a paid day off! But what other choices do we have if an employer isn't flexible about us making our time back? Shame they can't see what we have to do vs what they won't do.
I have to leave them alone or I'd get too bothered and want them to leave. If I see all the suitable things they do that I don't, it'll push me so I have to just go away from it all and hope for the best!
Thank you for sharing your experience. Burnout is brutal, and I'm glad you've decided to prioritize yourself and your needs.
No one has been in my home for several years. My family has finally understood that I won't host anything, they aren't free to drop by, and if they want to see me, they need to invite me over or out. No one ever tries to understand, or asks questions or takes an interest, but I've made peace with that.
Anyway, I feel less alone after listening to you, and I hope this burnout period didn't last too long for you.
I hope you are getting some R&R and will be feeling better soon , Paul! Yes, take your own advice and treat yourself like someone you really care about because you deserve that!❤
Thanks Melissa. I'm getting there 👍🏻
I don’t know how I found your channel, but this one video was everything I needed right right. Clawing my way out of burnout myself and it is tremendously comforting to hear the honest and real truth from another person with the similar life struggles and thoughts I experience as well. Hope you got your time away and are in the flip side. (I was just looking for silent nature retreats myself). Thank you!
I don't know how anyone finds my channel either to be honest! Hope you're feeling better, and silent nature retreats are definitely ways to help!
Take all the me you need.
Thanks Dani
Ive burned out (homeschooling 7 children and active Lyme) to the point i was catatonic. The body eventually says no
It absolutely does. When your battery hits zero, you have no choice but to listen!
Omg you are a breath of fresh air! I can relate to all of this! Thanks for putting yourself out there so others can get some validation and comfort x
No problem 👍🏻
Greetings Paul! First off I am autistic so I love repetitive things so another video about burn out is great. Second another video about burnout is very useful so again great!
Second so sorry you are in a burnout! It sucks big time. I have burn outs like every week! I have short burnouts that may last several hours to a complete day. These happen when a significant part of my routine is disrupted and I can’t re group. I have longer lasting burnouts when something big happens. For instance, on Valentines day I was rear ended by a young women who was on her phone. Fortunately my partner was with me or I would still be in my car yelling Dammit over and over😂. That burnout lasted several days and I still replay the events in my head over and over: “How can someone talk on the phone whilst driving!” I also burn out when I have what I call ADHD days where I can’t seem to do anything. I get frustrated with myself and I can even have a meltdown over it!
Again I am sorry you are feeling bad. It is wonderful that you are taking the days you need to recharge. I think, as someone said in the comments, that you need to look after you! It is amazing that you can share your experiences with us. Thank you! I hope that it helps you as well to express what your feelings!
I hope that you are well into your recovery with your four days off!
Hi Bryan,
Sorry to hear you got into an accident. Its always ten times worse when it's something that could be completely avoided! It's more of that 'acceptable failure' people live with that's never their fault until something happens!
I am reading this on Valentine's day LOL!
Hi, Paul. As a late-diagnosed adult with autism I deeply relate to this: helping others, ignoring my own special needs, overworking to the point of burnout... to me it all fits into what sociologist Erwin Gorfman called 'the social proactivity of the excluded'. I have noticed it in me and also in people with other divergences. Stopping such behaviour has a cost, that is, you may lose those relationships which were based in your role as a caretaker. You may feel more lonely. But it is the safest measure I know in order to prevent burnout!
'The social proactivity of the excluded'...how deftly accurate 👍🏻
Thank you Paul for doing this video it has been a year since you've done this, but today I am watching it and learning. My partner who is also autistic is currently suffering from burnout. I am learning from yourself and from my partner that I too am possibly on the spectrum but your video today is helping me understand what he goes through as it sounds very similar to what you are experiencing. It also shows me the road map of where i have been in my life and wondering what the hell was wrong woth me & why i don't operate like main stream neurological people. It breaks my heart on so many levels, but gives me answers as well.
Really glad the video was useful 👍🏻
Oh, I see you, mate...
Migraine knocks me out, but sometimes it hits me, when I am away hours from home. So I quit that job, which I actually like, but also there is too much input. And aa you described, it takes me to long to realise it. But now I did. Fortunately I reduced my workload for an employer to half. Led to not being able paying private treatments, the most the insurance company pays for, don't alleviate the symptoms certainly not the triggers.
So I got to use this time to take care of myself. From October on my qork setting will be more suitable.
Cross fingers I may stand the current situation with that prospect.
And yes... how can there be different treatment opportunities for treatment. I do not get it and I don't even want to!
Goodness, your job sounds so stressful anyway! I don’t think you should be hard on yourself about burnout. Thank you for sharing all so honestly, I’m trying to understand my child better. I hope you went and took care of yourself after recording this video!
Thank you. It is a stressful job regardless, but the additional stress can soon mount up! Autistic children need structure and boundaries more than love and support. Sounds insanely harsh, but I'll potentially do a video on it in the future and explain fully what I mean by that if its something you'll be interested in 👍🏻
Hi Paul, I just stumbled onto your video by chance! I just want to say I hope you did mamage to feel better after taking some time off.. I understand what burnout feels like. Was just diagnosed with Adhd and Autism and just turned 40. I hit burnout this past winter (Im Australian) I actually dont remember what happened in the months of June, July and August due to burn out. I am still not out of it. I hope you are doing better. Take care.
Thank you. I hope you start to feel better sooner than later. Just don't beat yourself up if you don't. Coming out of burn out is not something we have the control over, it just happens when it happens 👍🏻
Thank you Paul.
No problem 👍🏻
Paul! ❤️ Fuck! Yes... take the annual leave! I dont know how it works there, but... I sooo get it! Everything! How do people have annual leave left at the end of the year? How? 🤣🤣🤣 You are hilarious! and your sulky self seems very sweet still.
Im on sick leave since september 2022 and like an idiot I went back to work after 4 weeks and it just send me 100% backwards. And I knew it would happen and I still did it because I was afraid I would be seen as uncompliant or unwilling to try even though nobody said a thing.
Ush! I hope that you get to rest and recover and enjoy lots and lots of alone, undisturbed time, completely unmasked and free.
Thank you so much for sharing this very real and unglamorous side of your life. Because this is the stuff that people might not see or talk about and we feel we might be alone in this experiences. Watching this makes me feel "normal' or like... Im not alone in my experience of life.
To me that is now worth flowers and chocolates. 🥰
Get well Paul! Hugs
Many thanks. I did take the annual leave, and I am coming out of burnout finally. Definitely needed!
I also don't like people coming into my house ,would much rather visit them so I can bail out if it becomes too much 😘💖🙏🌈
Same. I always need an escape plan. Can't do that in my own home 👍🏻
Some 45 years ago, I was a Board member of a volunteer organization. Once, the monthly meeting was in my tiny home. At some point, I felt the «ton of bricks» falling on me. I took off «to the loo» and instead went crashing on my bed. My snoring betrayed me!!! I apologized but the meeting was shortened, thank God! I had no idea, then, that it was a serious sign of autism. I'm still VERY grateful for «stumbling upon» your videos!!! So generous of you, and SO HELPFULL!
Hi Paul, Hope you are getting your energy and balance back. It helps to know the things that deplete our energy. I made the mistake of having two meetings after full work days this week and Im so tired. Fortunately my manager is allowing me to work from home tomorrow which will help a lot. I really have to schedule extra things with buffer time between. But sometimes there aren’t a lot of options and we have to push through.
Hi Nancy, that buffer time works wonders...when you can get it! So much more needs done in workplaces for Autism that's actually pragmatic for us.
It's so cool, good and brave of you to share this video. Thank you. Hope you recovered well from the burnout.
I've probably recovered and had a few more burnouts since! But sharing the real is all that matters 👍🏻
Great video man 😊😊😊😊
Thank you 👍🏻
Burnout’s murder mate. 🫨🫤🫠😵💫🤤🤯😮💨🥲
Courage brother
👍🏻
❤
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