Відео

I am fully snazzed Carm! 😉 Thank you for a Buddhist reflection that very much holds true. Hope you are having a winter break from work, and a wonderful holiday. It's brutal cold here at the moment, which in Chicago-land terms might translate to: "Just another Tuesday". Hope your furry frenz are close and warm, and we'll do our best to coze up until this arctic blast passes...

I'm going to wimp out and paint narrowly on this one? Being assertive is greatly helped by Se... able to read the moment and (re)act in it. Trying to ramp up a skill that leans so heavily on trickster/blind spot seems sorta hopeless. Anyway, after adolescence, aggression seems like it's a pretty useless life skill. More valuable to learn ways to pull a conflict into territory where you have the advantage. But that's just some fast ruminations. There may be different answers for INFJs/IxFJs, and other INFPs... What do you think about it?

@@dulles1969 hmm idk I'm still trying to figure out my theory about this topic.

Sorry I didn't respond to this earlier. I've been mulling over your point about the basis of Fi being static for the past day. I think yes you're right, there are foundational principles that don't change so I forgot/forget to give it attention. What I'm thinking about, for example, is dealing with a certain situation in a certain way: It seemed the right thing to do at the time. But over time, experience feeds new ideas into the system. What was the right answer then is no longer the right answer now. These are tiny little shifts in perspective, and I see it also as a tiny shift in identity, which add up over time. As we grow and evolve, the way we might think about things changes, which in my interpretation of things means that we have changed, too. Thanks for this, it was a lot of food for thought (and I'm still reconsidering whether this answer is complete enough, and/or the most correct one I can come up with).

​@@dulles1969 I myself like to make ample time for reflection, especially on matters that require depth of processing. For context, consider that at one time personalities were not so individuated as they are now, where ease of access and application of all function-attitudes were par for the course (I'm thinking here of an example that I read about where farmers before the tech age could typically judge and perceive using all functions, without giving preferential treatment to any one of them). With the pressures of modernity, people felt compelled to specialize their personalities, leading to the 16 hierarchical arrangements of functions that we call personality types today. So, in a historical and temporal sense, dominant Fi for the INFP need not be seen as static, but with any engagement with rapid change, as is occurring now with advances in automation powered by AI, it's probably best to view it as such, if only to have an anchor in experience to pivot in resonance with other functions for the sake of adaptability, though I do recognize and respect that some cohorts of INFPs (contemplatives, youngsters, retirees, Hikikomori, persons in recovery, etc.) may find solace in having dominant Fi be static for reasons other than adapting to ongoing change and challenge. I hope that made sense! 🙂

@@INFP-Insights Thanks for these thoughts, and the example (of historic/prehistoric times), that's really helpful. I think I can only half agree ... modern specialization brings out our differences. But observations of our differences go back to the Greek temperaments, and beyond that to human myth. The earliest polytheistic religions personify civilizations' collective ideals and archetypes. There has always been specialization of planners vs. builders, oracles vs. those who sought them. So my take is that the way we experience reality hasn't changed, we've just learned a lot of new ways to describe our differences in the modern era. And I'd agree as we learn new ways to think about things and the language is built up around them, that, too, does change us... Thank you for all this -- they're really interesting thought exercises. And apologies if I missed your points and ended up tilting at a strawman... if I did, that wasn't intentional.

@@dulles1969 Your points are well taken. I think there's a kind of nature/nurture dynamic going on with personality specialization. We humans are by nature disposed to having a certain kind of personality, yet until the right social, economic, and cultural pressures are applied, they won't come out and be seen to be differentiated in any but the most obvious of ways, as you pointed out with the Greek temperaments, etc. Even with Jung in his first attempts at differentiating personality, you see only the most rudimentary typology, what with his focus on the dominant functions of each type. Not until Myers-Briggs do we see a more differentiated typology, which continues to be refined through Socionics and the depth typology of John Beebe with his matching of function-attitudes with archetypal energies. With a more refined understanding of functions in relation to archetypes, we'll eventually have more leeway to shape our own personal-(real)ities. Interesting thought exercises, indeed! No apologies necessary 🙂

I'd take a return to the 1990s: slacks, tie, sport coat or suit jacket. But tech companies nowadays want a younger and hipper feel: I'm going to be an old square at work in any outfit. 🙂

Totally agree! The "putting yourself in another's shoes" aspect of Fi, in this case paired with Ne ideation: What if X happened and I were this person, how would I feel about it? How about if Y happened instead? And how does the actual person playing the imaginary person feel about it? There's just a lot going on, many layers of meaning happening at the same time. Not saying that I am necessarily a great tabletop role playing game player, just that these ideas bring me a lot of joy -- like your creating characters and running them through plots and conflicts may bring you a lot of joy or satisfaction.

tysm!! 💙The hat in the video was a new hatquisition. The last one I'll buy (famous last words). Now I have to wear them out, which means wearing them out.

Sorry I have been missing in action. First sick and in recovery, then work blew up, and then away on holiday with no computer. You have a very good example with the ASD diagnosis. This reframes all of your life experiences, it is an earth-shattering change. And you have taken it all in stride. 🙂

I have both very fond memories and regrets -- it is a great relationship, loads of fun when it works.

Exactly. Obsessing over each little snippet isn't about being informed, it's about getting little adrenaline and/or dopamine hits as the content plays on the viewer's emotions. That's not healthy.

Too true.

Thank you Dee! Health headed in the right direction and fingers crossed will stay that way.

Speaking of community service -- the world needs to hear more songs about the noble ISTJ 🙃 I did have a question about the ISTJ song because I used to record music (back in the stone age with a cassette 4-track) -- it seemed like you had some effects, maybe a bit of reverb on the song? Did you add any effects, and how'd you manage it -- after recording the video, taking that part of the clip and working with the audio? Or are the acoustics at Vondelhome epecially good and we're just hearing the natural sound space? (Sorry just curious because the sound quality was much better than I'd ever get with a guitar and a condenser microphone.)

​@@dulles1969 ah I love these sorts of questions, the inner ISTJ tech-nerd side of INFP! I didn't do much at all, just some reverb I added in Final Cut (I think it was a medium-size room plugin). But it might also be the condenser mic going into the preamp, which is my usual setup. So yeah, minimal editing!

@vondelpete shockingly good balance and sound quality for something without a lot of (or any) planning. If I'd tried the same the results would be -- shockingly bad.

@ hm well I would still love to see something similar up on this channel one day!

Thanks so much Carm, and you just manage self-care that came to you naturally -- that's wonderful! This started because unlike you or I who can kinda conceptualize how to deal with things, my wife (ISFP) is taking the political change much more concretely. So she has canceled our house's newspaper and magazine subscriptions, took the radio out of the bathroom and is taking a break from TV news and is cutting back her friend groups in social media. She's sick to tears of politics, and that's understandable.

@@dulles1969 I like your Mrs.' approach too, taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, in a case like this can give one more piece of mind...changing the 'setting' overall. Indeed as you said, more concretely... 🙂

There are many narratives being weaponized. Most of these are versions of something that was probably inane transformed by paranoia.

I'm so sorry Ingrid -- ultimately ... there was global inflation post-Covid, and U.S. businesses over-compensated, which spiked prices on top of inflation. That caused pent-up anger by people who are falling behind financially, and many people just voted for a party change. I'm looking forward to catching up on more of everyone else's videos, and leaving more comments again.

Thank you for this recommendation! I went a-Googling on nootropics and checked out Reddit ... it's intriguing stuff. Maybe I can get into nootropics someday ... but unfortunately right now I'm really limited on what I can ingest. Chemicals are off the table until I get back to remission.

Thank you, and I wish your situation wasn't so similar -- that you could have some time free of the yoke of stress and obligation. So my hope would be, if you are under constant stress, that here and there, you have the small gaps that are in between, small moments where you can still experience things that are joyful and carefree, and that hint something better lies beyond the pressures that you've been under for so long.

​You are welcome. Thanks for your words. The problem I feel there are no gaps or they are too short and even these are usually not joyful if not more stressing hence they don't seem to hint that the end of tunnel is near nor if really something good lies beyond...

Thank you as always Dee, you're inspirational and I should be stronger than this. I liked to hear about your harder years, bringing up three kids and holding down a stressful job -- talk about pressure! That took extraordinary strength, and you just did it. I'm gonna pull out of the hole eventually. Being sick because of stress. Getting stressed because I'm sick. What a dumb loop to get stuck in.

Without getting too specific, I work in a role that's a bit like, say, a McKinsey. But not so prestigious. I don't have a fancy degree. To get back on the right track, historically, takes rest/sleep, daily routine, lower stress, and an extremely restricted diet. (minimize processed foods, sugars, preservatives. Remove artificial sweeteners, alcohol, caffeine. Then there's a big list of individual foods that are out. No fun.) I also take a natural, mild immune system regulator... but not consistently. I have to hold this pattern until something changes -- could be weeks, months, or maybe this time not at all. It's worked in the past.

@@dulles1969 Yeah that's a tried and true method typically. The body has less patience and tolerance as you get older to things it would take in the past, there is a mental component to that as well I believe.

Capitalism isn't set up to care about human factors. But it's up to me to see if I can make changes. I just don't really know where to start. The ancient concept of the sabbatical -- one year pause for reflection and recovery for every seven years of work -- sounds like a good idea!

Thank you Jonmars!! You're hitting on one of my worries, after RadishRaven decided to get a diagnosis I am ... wondering whether I should get tested. But at this age, there's not much to be changed >>In some ways, for myself at least, it served as a much needed performance enhancer. Yes, that's it exactly! Deadlines are very motivating, but it has to hit a certain stress threshold before it's acted on. When there are many projects that all need to be juggled to different deadlines, then it's just constant pressure. That worked, until it didn't, and know I'm in the intersection of physical and psychological: Psychosomatic disorders, at the intersection of psychology and physiology. >>I felt the need to achieve and prove myself at ever higher standards and I became an ever harsher critic of myself. Arguably, this is part of the [socionics] Delta Quadra's description as "Aristocratic" in nature. The concept is that NFPs and STJs tend to hold themselves to a higher standard than everyone else, maybe as a sort of moral mandate. In past conversations it's been twisted back on me with the accusation that INFPs are arrogant (because INFPs hold themselves to a higher standard than they expect from others). That's not exactly wrong, but... sigh.

These are two very different sources of stress, with the same possible result... and that's where stress is more of a state of mind, because one could fret over debt and finances, bills to pay and a someday-far-away retirement. Funny how one could be blissful or panic-frayed over either of these situations. Three years' unemployment -- it might be time to start thinking about doing something again, someday. Maybe we can job share -- you can take the travel parts. ;) Thank you as always for your thoughts Vondelpete!

Thank you Carm! I hope all's going smooth with your work and workplace. It would be a good idea to adopt slow living practices -- but I see now the unhealthy addiction to corporate stress and control (and the money that comes with it -- and generous health insurance. There are ugly thoughts here that I have the coverage policies to go down expensive medical rabbit holes and fill up on pharmaceuticals to conceal, instead of resolve, the root causes.)

I'd lived in Hong Kong for a time, so yeah, I am a fan of dim sum but didn't have time to get to a yum cha (tea house) in Southern China. So it was Szechuan and northern Chinese cooking, which is fine. Got to try sea cucumber, which I couldn't find here at home (it's just ok). I brought back a bunch of moon cakes -- a seasonal thing -- and saw with satisfaction when they went through the X-Ray machine, it looked like a bunch of little cannonballs. They didn't ask any questions, they're probably used to seeing packs of moon cakes in peoples' luggage.

Hi Carm, it is really good to be home. I rather like our domestic dragonflies. While I mostly know downtown Chicago, that has plenty of beautiful spaces -- and the turning of the seasons into fall is in a lot of ways my favorite time of year. Well, except for the endless list of house and garden chores to prepare for winter, all that adult stuff. ;)

It seems like on a trip some little things end up mattering. The big plans happen by their own momentum. I've been wrapped up following your diagnosis and post-diagnosis and wanted to say some things -- lots of things -- but then I just didn't have the energy and wasn't sure I'd express it right. I am glad for you if you are glad, and relieved for you, that you have clarity. But it sounds like there is no guidance whatsoever for what to do next, and no local resources. So, nothing got easier for you and I am sorry you found that out. I hope you can make/get some practical changes over time, that are useful for work and at home -- fingers crossed.

Thank you!! I've been keeping an eye on videos when I couldn't (or sometimes when I should) sleep but stayed quiet. Foreign social media is generally blocked in China in favor of their domestic apps, so I was cut off for much of the time there. If you've been to Japan and like it, I'd recommend that for tourism. Mainland China is more geared for business. Maybe Hong Kong and/or Macao would be worth a stop-by even though they're sort of backward compared to the most advanced mainland cities. Then there's Taiwan and Korea, neither of which I've been to aside from passing through an airport. Upcoming travel is domestic, to Texas. That's more bearable, say, Sydney to Perth for comparison.

​@@dulles1969 I often wonder if I should do a social media detox one day by spending time over in China. Hm yeah I've been only to Hong Kong, over ten years ago - which I very much enjoyed and I guess that could be a little taste. Taiwan and Korea also sorely neglected by me as well.

I'd guess we probably both fascinate and frustrate each other. With my INFJ colleague, I try to focus every so often on getting him to talk about his well-being, because he seems always to be so focused on everyone else.

Nah, I'm afraid you're always going to be something of a mystery...

@@dulles1969 Yup

Thank you for this insight Michelle! To connect outside observer vs. what's actually happening. It all makes sense. INFJ dwelling on topics until they are so well polished -- and I don't know how INFJs can do it. By contrast I've got many open ideas at any given time and tinker with each in turn. No discipline ever to complete anything, but I do have an endless supply of half-baked ideas. 😉

@@dulles1969 haha I wish I could be free of it sometimes. Very interesting observation though. I’ve never noticed it myself…maybe would be impossible for me to notice if not pointed out. But now I am really interested in getting a feel for how it sounds with the INFJs around me. Thanks Dulles!

💙 I realize beneath the surface warmth, INFJs are (a surprise to some) cold and analytical. Then beneath that layer, I've found them kind and generous. Y'all are complicated. I've only ever found one in real life and interacted with a few online. It's been a privilege to trade ideas and share experiences over the years.

My INFJ co-worker and I have a talent to fill up meeting time going in friendly circles around each other, and nothing gets done. Each is trying to satisfy the other. The INFJ wants to understand what I want. What I want is to deliver what the INFJ needs. We've had many interesting (if unproductive) conversations.

•.• 🤔, •.•, ☺️, long pause, of course the fi first would notice the machine behind the human.

That reminds me of my former boss/CEO (perhaps an ESTJ?) who wielded conversational pauses as a sort of weapon -- control the pacing, control the conversation. That sort of backfired: I found the pace very relaxing, to assemble the correctness and show the consistency of my answers. He actually was a really swell boss in the end. Anyway, I rather like INFJs as people, and on the whole I think they're as authentic and well-meaning as any of the types. I also think we're sort of a mystery to each other because we share the same temperament but no common functions. So I think INFJs have every right to see INFPs as a little odd...

@@dulles1969 I really hope that former boss was an ESTJ, I do like how INFPs can often checkmate those types. I agree about INFJs, and they'd be very correct to see INFPs as a bit odd, we're more than a bit odd, really...

Hi Carm! Fortunately, I did not ever deal with "entities" -- you know you've gone too far when.... It's good to be laid back.... to focus on the things that bring joy in life. This is one of the blessings of an INFP, to find comfort and gratitude in the little things. A good album, comfy sofa, a book, some furry frenz and a cup of tea... heaven on earth. Psychedelic (mis)adventures are so -- unnecessary.

@@dulles1969 Amen to that all, good sir. Reminds me also of a favorite line from Robert Creeley... "If it isn't fun, don't do it. You'll have to do enough that isn't..."

Yes, that is a young Dulles... we are both lightweights, sensitive to drugs. Last year I took two Ibuprofen (and learned not to do that again). And my big oops on metric vs. English measures... no I am not a 6'6" giant... but a conventional height string bean.

Ya got me -- I have to caveat, to limit the scope. Discussing cognition in this context starts with someone voluntarily going on public display as an example of type. If I make a video claiming to be an ENTJ ... while wearing an old baseball cap and baggy sweats, publishing a 30 minute monologue that reprises in fine detail a bunch of my experiences as an ENTJ, and ramble about things I like or hate as a representative of type ... then I think it's fair for you to comment on what you saw -- it just happens to take cognitive function notation -- this is what Fi looks like, and it's not what Si blind spot looks like. An unusual ENTJ. Totally agree there are different interpretations of the functions, some fundamentally different. So you get one person talking Pi vs. Ji, another Fi vs. Fe, another Progression or Concrete. The common thread is that they're talking in one way or another about what's observable. Civility and good taste are in play, too. In my comments, I asked the content creator please to delete them if they were objectionable/inappropriate. I ended up deleting my comments. Because I didn't play it straight from the start, and that was wrong. Final thought: Dunno if it was in this video, but I don't have the talent or the stomach to be Type Police. By the time I pick up on something being 'off', it's got to be really far out of line, beat-me-over-the-head obvious.

@@dulles1969 , I intuitively If I am to respond I will share experience, there is an app about meeting people with the theme being typology, these individuals are not likely to be that type, but very likely have attributes associated with the typology, it’s not a fair requirement of a person when the theory itself has terms that are not derived from constants as evidently present as gravitation. Furthermore the controlling of f confounding variables makes for more uncertainty in real world conditions. An esfp who would test intp on a ‘short form’ test because of valuing or being coerced to pursue academics.

@@jeremiahfix5529 Oof, navigating MBTI themed meetups, nevermind dating/buddy apps must be an interesting, and probably confounding, experience. On the bright side, it's a mutual starting conversation topic for a meetup? Next time I'll try the kayak group... 😉 Your example scenario doesn't meet the criteria for public figures, or for people holding themselves up as exemplars of type. But (at least from my point of view), they are all interesting to think about as aspects of what ways one value (accuracy/correctness/truth) can collide and conflict with another value (kindness/validation/support). Which goes back to the conclusion that not saying anything is best. But then there is no discussion, no exchange of ideas. I don't just wanna sit in an echo chamber being validated (with an understanding that other people feel very differently about having their thoughts/ideas questioned). So I'm grateful for the discussion we're having. Thank you.

And thank you for your thoughtful comment! ... here's an illustrative example how it's possible MBTI vs. JCF are separate: Let's say I take the official MBTI test administered by a certified practitioner. It returns an ESTJ result. I am now an ESTJ -- officially certified. Now if I go back and re-take the official test, and instead I get an INTJ result -- I have changed, just as officially, to an INTJ. But my cognitive preferences didn't ever change (which might be, e.g., SiTeFiNe). Yes this situation makes for Bizarro World, I agree. In this frame, one can be a FiNeSiTe INFP, or a FeSiNeTi INFP, or a SiTeFiNe INFP... The way cognitive functions manifest is (sometimes, sort of) observable. That makes it easier to point out, e.g., the trappings of Fe vs. Fi and saying someone appears a Fe users ... where it's harder to qualify someone to be a specific type, like ISFJ. Up until now, I leaned into this approach to try and keep people happy. But reflecting on it now ... it's just bad implementation, to try and split the difference in a way... to let someone stay an INFP even as the person shows pretty clearly that they are a Fe user, not Fi.

Oh ok, yeah I think I see what you mean, thanks for the long reply

I kinda liked the discussions that used to pop up about my being mistyped, and conjecture on what type I really was. I'm a little soft in the head. People generally don't like it. As for celebrity typing (or typing at all), LoL, even people I've known life long -- I only have about half my family sorted. We've the same challenges. I'll settle on a person's type and then change my mind. That doesn't work very well. What I didn't say about the high Se/high Fe users is that successful MBTI UA-camrs are doing well with shorts formats. UA-cam is pushing them hard these days, and that's really good for people who distill nuggets through the Se/Ni axis. I'll celebrate a video that comes in under 10 minutes. 😉 On a completely different note I was in Amsterdam not long ago and they've got a massive beautiful public garden called "Vondelpark"... which got me curious whether there was any chance of catching a Vondelpete there. Should've packed a butterfly net.

@@dulles1969 Ah yes the beautiful Vondelpark, from which I took my channel name 😅 You certainly could have caught one in mid-July 2007 as he spoke to a tree while under the careful watch of an ISTP who was using me as a guinea pig of sorts for certain natural but semi-legal substances...

@@vondelpete That is a precious image. You emerged no worse for wear, and perhaps better for the experience. I've had ... some experiences and it never occurred to me to talk about them. Some people might actually find those old stories entertaining!

@@dulles1969 I definitely emerged...quiet and reflective for a few days after that. Hm I certainly would find it entertaining, I'm sure most would!

I agree, I think there's a little community of people who do like INFP content creators. They like the long form and the reflection. But that makes us not natural entertainers. UA-cam is tilting toward a TikTok or Instagram format. It's promoting little bite-sized entertainment over long-form videos. And people with higher Se and Fe are better at that format.

I should mention on the front of long-form vs. quick clips, the first version of this video was almost 30 minutes long. That was too dull even for me. 😆

@@dulles1969 your channel is less about entertainment and more about education, which is great! I would watch a half hour of Dulles 😊 who really cares about the algorithm?

​@dulles1969 me, who wants to be an entertainer and my worst functions are Fe and Se: *[sad noises]*

@@_lil_lil There's hope -- there are INFPs in entertainment, so it is possible. But they all -- seem so offbeat. I think of Heath Ledger or David Bowie, or Florence Welch. Seems to be some persona-building, and then they use it as a front to engage with an audience. Yikes, what's involved with that is asking a lot.

Yes -- it starts with solving a business problem. To get there takes pleading, cajoling, sometimes threats against a mob of unruly datasets to give guidance for answers.

War gerade vor zwei Wochen in Landshut! 👋 Und nicht überraschend, dass nach all diesen Jahren es immernoch Streit über den Münchner Flughafen gibt...

I have a take on that question, summed up as: "With awareness comes responsibility." It's an issue to figure out the right thing to do, and then fail to do it. (That said, while I have zero evidence to back it, I'd guess that INFPs on the whole are happier than they might sometimes seem).😊

@@dulles1969Ah. That is good to know that there is happiness in there. And for INFP maybe happiness is not ”the goal” per se. It is however a truly lovely spectacle when it comes out of hiding :)

True, but our combination fell into toxic patterns that I could've avoided. What seemed to me acts of shockingly bad intent ... was just a blind spot. And ultimately I'm to blame for ending it. I've been with another Fi dom for a long time now. While we clash and it's cringe, we're both aware to avoid doing harm. Conflicts become discussions.

@@dulles1969 never saw it that way. Thanks for the input

I toyed with whether you'd be ok including your channel in the description, for people to check out an ISFJ UA-camr, but then wasn't sure if you'd be ok with what I said in the video (and erred on the side of caution). I don't want to obligate, but if you'd be ok with it, I'd like to add a link to Realities of Typology? From my own biased lens, it seems like ISFJs gracefully connect with others on a feelings and morals basis. INFP "connection" ... erm, awkward. I did want to make a point of it that the Si-Ti stack is an intellectual and academic stack. Add Fe and it's so versatile, from education to scientific to management & business.

@@dulles1969 Well, I'm fine with it, but the hard part to it is that I'm not really connecting to anyone in the videos. I find my own work to be somewhat hit or miss, and I've realized that the more difficult the people I spoke with became, the more difficult it was to talk to an audience I didn't really know through a microphone. I don't think I've really played to my strengths in regard to youtube, but I think it's important to have done it. The issue is, to have one's own thoughts, I suppose it has to be that way. It's helped me but I don't think it's generally indicative of what people would see of even myself if they spoke with me in person. In short, I'm fine with it, but I also think it was more of a "behind the mask" view, which was hard to do, and I'm sure with most ISFJ's would be rather hard to get. I suppose through this, it's become very easy to talk with others about difficult topics meaningfully, as I understand the difficulties from a better angle. I'm pretty sure of my type, and by that logic, anything I do would fit the type, but I'm not honestly sure how I would place myself as a presentation at this point.

Thank you Carm! I have a similar experience... at my job, the person with whom I work most often and trust most is an ISFJ. The balance between accrued knowledge, critical thinking skills and people skills... absolutely formidable. I hope you will have the chance to meet your ISFJ inspiration someday -- that would be a treat!

Haha, that's where I had to stop and backtrack because you have it exactly right, there are ISFJs like your friend who will totally identify with the nurse archetype. And ISFJs are altruistic and empathetic in a way that INFPs -- are not. And I like the way you described being "at the periphery"... I think that's very accurate. Thank you for these thoughts Ingrid!