My People Patterns
My People Patterns
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Why The Bowen Family Theory 8 Concepts Aren't Bullsh!t | 2024
Bowen Family Systems Theory developed by Dr. Murray Bowen, introduces a framework where the family is viewed as an emotional unit, but it's SO MUCH more than family therapy.
I use these techniques and 8 concepts in at least one session a day. I've tried to pack this video with visual ways to describe things as well as a useful example or ten.
One key concept is the Nuclear Family Emotional System, where emotions are automatic physiological reactions that significantly influence family dynamics, with anxiety playing a central role. This anxiety can be acute, triggered by immediate stressors, or chronic, persisting over time and leading to long-term dysfunctions in family patterns. The Family Projection Process explains how parents transmit their anxieties to their children, resulting in symptoms that create a feedback loop of increased anxiety within the family. Emotional distance and conflict are common coping mechanisms, where family members either engage in intense disagreements or create space to avoid tension, neither of which resolves underlying issues.
Differentiation of Self is another core concept, highlighting an individual's ability to maintain their identity while remaining emotionally connected to their family, with higher differentiation leading to better emotional and social functioning. Triangles, a fundamental aspect of Bowen's theory, describe three-person relationship systems formed to manage anxiety, often complicating relationships further. The Multi-generational Transmission Process outlines how unresolved emotional issues and levels of differentiation are passed down through generations, influencing the emotional functioning of future family members. Ultimately, Bowen's theory posits that family dysfunctions can impact broader society, as families are microcosms of society, and managing family dynamics and anxiety can have positive effects on both individual families and the larger community.
Переглядів: 33

Відео

Best Advice On Marriage & Couples Who Argue Alot
Переглядів 589 годин тому
Are you tired of constant conflict in your relationship? Here's some couples therapy advice from a couples therapist in Los Angeles, I've helped countless couples reduce conflict and grow stronger relationships by resolving the issues that create arguments. In this video, I'll share my powerful five-part framework to eliminate 60% of disagreements and stop them from escalating into the dreaded ...
Healing Your Wounded Inner Child & Reparenting Yourself
Переглядів 11614 годин тому
Are you tired of feeling like you can never measure up to your own expectations? Discover how understanding your inner child and the unrealistic standards of your 'super self' can transform your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Learn why we create these idealized versions of ourselves and how they keep us trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and inadequacy. By watching this video, you'll gain ...
Relationship Mapping: A Couples Therapy Intensive Treatment
Переглядів 6821 годину тому
In this episode, we dive into the powerful method of relationship mapping, a unique approach to couples therapy that helps couples strengthen their bonds and resolve conflicts. This is based on structural family systems mapping and some emotion focused couple treatment. Consider it a bootcamp intensive! If you live in California and want to sign up to hear about when our next round of mapping i...
Why Is My Relationship Falling Apart? Couples Therapist Reacts
Переглядів 6814 днів тому
Why Is My Relationship Falling Apart? Couples Therapist Reacts
20 questions for couples: emotional intimacy in marriage
Переглядів 33128 днів тому
20 questions for couples: emotional intimacy in marriage
Couples Therapy: Emotional Boundaries In A Marriage & Relationships
Переглядів 243Місяць тому
Couples Therapy: Emotional Boundaries In A Marriage & Relationships
Enmeshment Marriage Therapy & Differentiation
Переглядів 399Місяць тому
Enmeshment Marriage Therapy & Differentiation
Top 5 Emotional Intelligence Communication Skills
Переглядів 1,7 тис.Місяць тому
Top 5 Emotional Intelligence Communication Skills
Five Stages Of A Relationship Psychology: And What To Do
Переглядів 3972 місяці тому
Five Stages Of A Relationship Psychology: And What To Do
Transference In Group Therapy
Переглядів 2862 місяці тому
Transference In Group Therapy
Group Therapy Facilitation Techniques: Resistance
Переглядів 5012 місяці тому
Group Therapy Facilitation Techniques: Resistance
Bowen Family Systems and How It Works with Couples
Переглядів 8412 місяці тому
Bowen Family Systems and How It Works with Couples
group facilitation techniques: immediacy in group counseling
Переглядів 8145 місяців тому
group facilitation techniques: immediacy in group counseling
5 types of anxiety: disorders and their causes
Переглядів 2285 місяців тому
5 types of anxiety: disorders and their causes
Process Group Therapy Facilitation Techniques #3: Bridging
Переглядів 9035 місяців тому
Process Group Therapy Facilitation Techniques #3: Bridging
What Are Your Personal Core Values And Goals For The Future
Переглядів 2905 місяців тому
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Process Group Therapy - Facilitation Techniques And Tools #2
Переглядів 1,8 тис.6 місяців тому
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Therapy West Hollywood: How I Think About Therapy in Los Angeles
Переглядів 3926 місяців тому
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How To Run A Process Group: The Process of Group Formation
Переглядів 2,3 тис.6 місяців тому
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Unmet Emotional Needs In A Relationship
Переглядів 5556 місяців тому
Unmet Emotional Needs In A Relationship
How I'm Using Chat GPT for Mental Health Progress Notes
Переглядів 2,6 тис.7 місяців тому
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Building Emotional Intimacy In Relationships
Переглядів 817 місяців тому
Building Emotional Intimacy In Relationships
20 Questions For Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship: Love Actually Edit
Переглядів 7207 місяців тому
20 Questions For Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship: Love Actually Edit
constant arguing in a relationship good or bad and how to fix it
Переглядів 3628 місяців тому
constant arguing in a relationship good or bad and how to fix it
How To Use Circular Questions Family Therapy
Переглядів 1,6 тис.8 місяців тому
How To Use Circular Questions Family Therapy
Patterns In Relationships: Conflict in relationships
Переглядів 1868 місяців тому
Patterns In Relationships: Conflict in relationships
Stop The Arguing In Relationships
Переглядів 808 місяців тому
Stop The Arguing In Relationships
What Is Conflict Management In Relationships: Tips Every Couple Needs to Know
Переглядів 1268 місяців тому
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Structural Family Therapy Session & Interventions
Переглядів 3,4 тис.9 місяців тому
Structural Family Therapy Session & Interventions

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @DK-lr2xs
    @DK-lr2xs 2 дні тому

    This is great

  • @dijanafiorentino9399
    @dijanafiorentino9399 3 дні тому

    Love your content

  • @anonanon1344
    @anonanon1344 3 дні тому

    Please don't give up on this channel. This is so helpful and easy to understand

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns 19 годин тому

      Aw. Thank you! Another Bowen video going up tomorrow

  • @taltaljm1359
    @taltaljm1359 4 дні тому

    How about, how did you know if an emotional broke man is just using you?

  • @phmo4519
    @phmo4519 5 днів тому

    All my characters are super traumatized and I use this as more of a way to pass time or vent my emotions. It’s like writing a book for me.

    • @Andrei-nz6tc
      @Andrei-nz6tc День тому

      I am the one traumatized here😅 I just daydream about hugging someone😢

    • @phmo4519
      @phmo4519 10 годин тому

      @@Andrei-nz6tc I also day dream about (my characters) hugging someone! After they brake down crying because they just lost all their family and almost died like 10 times. 😀

  • @macier6589
    @macier6589 6 днів тому

    Thank so much for this series! Love it!

  • @JeannettaJoy
    @JeannettaJoy 7 днів тому

    Not everyday. Nor being disrespectful and mean

  • @alexanderkagan6022
    @alexanderkagan6022 9 днів тому

    Great-- can you publish the PDF?

  • @heyrobin
    @heyrobin 9 днів тому

    Looks like you provide a great service! Nice advertisement

  • @ffloresalfaro
    @ffloresalfaro 9 днів тому

    Anxious attachment

  • @nubz-mg6uf
    @nubz-mg6uf 10 днів тому

    In my professional opinion i think she suffers from her not writing her own music instead is sings about somones elses mental issues...just sayin.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns 10 днів тому

      yeah.... that's not really the point though. Thanks for trying.

  • @BeLoud13
    @BeLoud13 14 днів тому

    I've been telling my man for 27 years what exactly bugs me and it hasn't changed a thing.

  • @PersononEarth-xf9tg
    @PersononEarth-xf9tg 14 днів тому

    My great grandmother was the party kind.

  • @garyhaughney2165
    @garyhaughney2165 14 днів тому

    yes please. clips are interesting.

  • @Ridingrules10000
    @Ridingrules10000 20 днів тому

    Funny thing is, if you minimize and ignore your feelings, they will take control of the thinking part of your brain and turn it into a basic binary processor. What you think will be driven by your feelings, and you won't even realize it.

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns 21 день тому

    Hi Emily! Thank you SO much for- this had made my day 😊 so glad you found them and that they’re actually helpful!

  • @emilyromneysanchez5196
    @emilyromneysanchez5196 21 день тому

    Hey Oliver. I'm a clinical social worker in private practice and I just found your channel. Just wanted to tell you that I love your content and it is helping me revitalize my practice and my own relationships. Just wanted to say thank you and you are making a difference!

  • @sharadscharma
    @sharadscharma 21 день тому

    Thank you so much for these videos! Please keep them coming!!

  • @saru1078
    @saru1078 21 день тому

    Stop touching up your videos with ai it’s so unsettling

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns 21 день тому

      No that’s not how it works. You need to stop watching them. Go talk to your therapist about it, it’s called “zone of control” and they’ll explain it to you.

  • @nightriviera
    @nightriviera 23 дні тому

    As well as that unconscious preparedness had from manifestation practices, I reckon the (figurative) magic (i.e. not 'magik'!) also comes from an unconscious perceptual and behavioural 'nudging' of us to perceive things related to the sought entity and to act in ways compatible with obtaining the said thing. Simply, such as mantras, affirmations & dream boards position the desired - and the idea of possessing it - at the mind's forefront, so one's senses and thoughts are more likely than otherwise to draw us to being involved with it 'in real life'. That involvement may be very 'distant' - a long way from actually having the thing (say, being 'nudged' to looking at an 'American Classics' car magazine in an on-platform newsagents, at a British rail station, whilst whiling away a few minutes (it'll end up hours, given the state of rail transport) waiting for a train; for the Cornish (still West Coast) New-Agey Corvette-craver; um, make that one of those Chevy 'Day Vans'. But then very pragmatic factors could ensue from this that sooner or later sees the person owning such a vehicle (e.g. an ad' in the magazine that - 'would you believe it' - is for a Chevy Van, for sale at a bargain price and near where the person lives); and so 'as if by magic' he/she/they is delighting in choking traffic in Cornwall's narrow rural lanes that were never intended for such vehicles. I'm sure there's one or more/many 'cognitive biases' that could be cited as operational here. But these probably wouldn't detract from the sense of wonder and credulity, from a notable manifestation success; regrettably though, a fillip perhaps inspiring that person to devote too much faith and time at further (trying to) manifest things, instead of knuckling down to trying to get what's wanted 'the hard way' - with blood, sweat and tears (which, of course, could be a misperception - one paradoxically reinforced by continuation, maybe fruitlessly, with the 'easy' (err, 'manifestory') way - so pre-occupying that one overlooks researching the actual practicalities of goal acquisition.) Anyway...love your channel; thanks for all the work you put into it. Wasn't expecting to find a video on this subject here!

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns 25 днів тому

    stan.store/MyPeoplePatterns

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns 25 днів тому

    Download the workbook here stan.store/MyPeoplePatterns

  • @sunnyflower3873
    @sunnyflower3873 Місяць тому

    More

  • @sunnyflower3873
    @sunnyflower3873 Місяць тому

    Well, now I watch your videos. You’re so wonderful for spreading this kind of information, please keep going 🫶

  • @dest8401
    @dest8401 Місяць тому

    Thank you. 🙏

  • @KimberlySmith14
    @KimberlySmith14 Місяць тому

    My son is 20, is he too old for this book? He's anti social.

  • @lotr7015
    @lotr7015 Місяць тому

    Said a whole bunch of words with no actual meaning. Fuck outta here

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

    More Emotional Communication Skills: ua-cam.com/video/Yrketg2O8tM/v-deo.html

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

    More structural family systems here: ua-cam.com/video/FQBgeIxcBQ4/v-deo.html

  • @MyPeoplePatterns
    @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

    New video on Bowen Family Therapy and Enmeshment : ua-cam.com/video/Uz-Nny8huR0/v-deo.html

  • @unpopularbelief11
    @unpopularbelief11 Місяць тому

    So what if you communicate how you feel qnd the person yells or gets upset is packing bags maniplulation to me its fed up..

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      It sounds like you would be in a relationship with someone who isn't interested in hearing how you feel, and you'd have to ask if that's the sort of partner you want to be with.

  • @BRCAinBCYouTube
    @BRCAinBCYouTube Місяць тому

    I watched and shared with a client asking for a resource on this topic. Thanks, Oliver!

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      No way! That’s so cool - I’ve not shared any of these with clients yet! 🙉🙈🙊

  • @melutza8
    @melutza8 Місяць тому

    Very helpful, i am looking for The pdf. Thank you for all your Work!

  • @drakeford299
    @drakeford299 Місяць тому

    More! More! More!

  • @annaczarna2733
    @annaczarna2733 Місяць тому

    I wonder: can one have too much of self-differentiation? If one has perfectly separated their thoughts and feelings and self and other, and their other has no influence on their self, they would seem psychopathic. Beyond any impact of human emotions of shame or guilt which stem from what we think we did (or didn’t) to the other. I realize it’s a distant possibility but still. The perfectly self-differentiated would be psychopathic, wouldn’t they?

    • @drakeford299
      @drakeford299 Місяць тому

      No, I don't think so. Shame and Guilt are feelings - which have evolved as ways to make us feel bad and to follow rules, to avoid rejection from society and tribe, which we need for protection. A differentiated person has a separated Self, and Other doesn't mean they are not influenced by them; it means they would listen to Others, think about what they said, notice their own emotional reaction, and then CHOOSE to act however they do (vs undifferentiated which is more reactive to what other people say). Psychopathic person would not have a very imbalanced SELF and other) and have very small feelings and probably lots of THOUGHTS ... crap, I might have to do a video for you on this.

    • @annaczarna2733
      @annaczarna2733 Місяць тому

      @@drakeford299 also, are narcissists highly self-differentiated?

    • @drakeford299
      @drakeford299 Місяць тому

      @@annaczarna2733 Highly differentiated people do not have psychopathology.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      A fully differentiated person is like the most HEALTHY version of our self. If you believe in Jesus, we might wonder if he was all the way at the 100% and fully differentiated. 🤷‍♂️ Narcissists don’t have much of “Other” it’s all Self. They have difficulty accessing feelings. So all thoughts, No feels!

    • @annaczarna2733
      @annaczarna2733 Місяць тому

      @@drakeford299 As a researcher, I appreciate your clinical insights. I'd gladly respond in an email.

  • @sm7657
    @sm7657 Місяць тому

    I don’t understand what you mean by “micro-journalling” ?

  • @kendracrippen
    @kendracrippen Місяць тому

    More

  • @TheKsadia
    @TheKsadia Місяць тому

    This happened to me. The other person never apologized when I communicated how their actions hurt me. In fact, they continued to shift blame to me because I pulled away after never hearing an apology.

  • @melutza8
    @melutza8 Місяць тому

    Thank you!

    • @melutza8
      @melutza8 Місяць тому

      Having all these good examples, helps a lot!

  • @vocalbasics
    @vocalbasics Місяць тому

    More? Yes please! I love your approach. The simplicity of the visual aids. Thank You.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      Aw -thank you - so glad you're enjoying the way my weird brain works :)

    • @vocalbasics
      @vocalbasics Місяць тому

      @MyPeoplePatterns well, my brain most probably is weird as well cause I SO appreciate the way you present the concepts. In fact, your videos inspired the use of sliders in my vocal coaching work. It works so much better than flat either/or pass/fail language, and gives space for movement in increments. Your enthusiasm is contagious in the best way! Keep going. 😊

  • @GoldenSheenObsidan
    @GoldenSheenObsidan Місяць тому

    Exactly

  • @Sara-oi6wp
    @Sara-oi6wp Місяць тому

    More

  • @veronicahunter640
    @veronicahunter640 Місяць тому

    I found it very helpful to have real examples shown and explained so that I could hear/see/interpret what people are saying when they speak. I've seen several videos of SOFT explained, yet this really helped with understanding/application.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      this is wonderful to read- thank you for sharing your thoughts! i am thrilled it found you ;)

  • @veronicahunter640
    @veronicahunter640 Місяць тому

    Love this video - very helpful

    • @veronicahunter640
      @veronicahunter640 Місяць тому

      How about if a person is neurodiverse and has difficulty with their own self-awareness and perspective-taking? Where does one then start to help build emotional intelligence and communication skills?

  • @athenafarrell5127
    @athenafarrell5127 Місяць тому

    I think almost all the kids before the 80s were raised free range until the street lights came on. My parents were free range but i did a lot of dangerous things with heights when i was alone but nothing ever happened thank God. Gave me more confidence in myself and decisions, and knew how to talk to adults. Although i needed more help with homework and i didn't put hope into others doing things for me.

  • @user-ds6qi7td5z
    @user-ds6qi7td5z Місяць тому

    Hey

  • @user-hg4si4xj5v
    @user-hg4si4xj5v Місяць тому

    More

  • @missymoonUS
    @missymoonUS Місяць тому

    I would consider client privacy before you use a third-party app. Maybe don't use identifiable information when using the Ai tools.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      thanks - that point is made abundantly clear in the video

  • @GlitchyOfficial
    @GlitchyOfficial Місяць тому

    i wish this was viral

  • @macbethh
    @macbethh Місяць тому

    The effort you put into your videos is so valued, thank you so much. I am currently in a process group with 6-7 of my classmates as its apart of my person centered counselling degree and i would love to know how to get the most out of it. I spend most of my time in the group uncomfortable and silent and honestly, bored!. I want to break this resistence but my body feels like a deer in the headlights. Thanks again for your content.

    • @MyPeoplePatterns
      @MyPeoplePatterns Місяць тому

      Oh my gosh! Please tell your professor that some random guy on youtube says 'thank you for teaching group with an actual process group' - SO many places don't do this and it's such a missed opportunity. Here's my tips: depending on who the 'therapist' is, #1 I would ask for help. "Jimmy, I've been in this group for X weeks now, and I am still not comfortable sharing, can you help me with that please" (if its your professor running the group, they will LOVE this, actually, even if it's another student, I say start there. #2 More generally, just start paying attention to your feelings and try and share them whenever it feels clear. "Hey, I've not shared much in this group, but I wanted to share now that I feel really anxious / bored/ angry - and I can't quite figure out why, can we maybe look at that?" #3 Try and share why you're not talking - "I'd like to start this week because I've not shared very much and i think it's because this group doesn't feel safe / i don't feel safe / no one talks to me / I don't like _____"