Відео

Thank you, great video! I believe this will help me in a great fasion

Avoidant here, I know you guys hate us here. I don't like it either. My relations were ruined purely because of my actions and I keep hating myself more and more. I want to be a goddamn Anxious or secure or something, to always be attached, with, loved, whatever! All I feel from any love now is just how it will end as always, where I don't deserve this greatest happiness and where I don't even wanna start anymore. There is either this eternal clinginess which I love and like but eventually will be willing to get some free space. Or something that you can't even call relations if we talk about two avoidants. Neither of them want anything to do with dependence. Both are enough for selves, both don't trust each other. Both wanna be left alone. It's so annoying and I can't do anything about it. "Go to therapy" yeah, yeah I'm going. This isn't something you can quickly fix. And I don't know if I ever will be. God help all avoidants to finally accept the world as if and start trusting people.

I didn't like his grandiose mask at first, but when he allowed himself to be vulnerable he was more relatable to me. It help me better understand the side of the narcissist who tormented me, and though I cannot fix that person, I can empathize from afar while maintaining NC. I hope he finds peace in his journey and seeks to curtail bad behaviors, and I hope the same for my former partner. I no longer wish karma upon her, she suffers enough on her own. Thanks, Jacob for letting the guard down and being authentic if only for a moment.

Negative attention from parents is better than no attention at all.. My brothers and I would bust out the all the windows of the neighbors house.. all the windows... just to get attention from our parents. We stole and got caught, because getting in trouble was the only way our parents would know we're alive. My parents provided a roof and a bed and food in the fridge.. but that was it. We raised ourselves. We were vandals. It's astonishing that we didn't end up in the prison system. We straightened our own selves out, and we each built well-paying careers.

FREE workbook to help guide you through changing your relationship patterns: www.ruthannharpur.co.uk/pl/2148462109

a narcissist is someone who has made a decision to adapt from toauma victim to trauma causer, or from victim to aggressor, as a coping mechanism. while there is no doubt of a past trauma in the lives of many people, the ethical and practical shift from victim to aggressor is NOT common to all cases. a narcissist however, would see control and maniulation of others in a continouus present time as the only way of life and only time structure that is valid. the past and the future, in which their actions have and will have consequences, mean nothing. the same is true for narcissists with suicidal tendencies. they would place themselves in situations where someone else will be their doom, and suffer the consequences, while they would maintain a martyr's image to the public. move away from them and save yourselves.

I keep things very superficial. It's easy that way but it's also painful. I have serious trust issues and I feel no interest in most people. But the curious thing is that people seem to see me as a trustworthy generous person. Maybe I am, but I just don't feel the same for others 😢

Ive been monitored 4 years by tons of these people and her nonstop. Its quite sickening.

Good morning, global nation…I see no true, real empathy for a NPD individual. Their behavior can definetely create harm and sufferance around them, but still they are severely traumatized individuals who did not choose to this disorder. It could be you in their shoes…can you imagine it?

An ex told me I was narcissistic one time but I’m way too smart, funny, good looking and cool to ever be such a thing!😝

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I forgive a person that I have allowed in my life that was abusive but trust is earned sign Cynthia Smith

It’s funny how feeling safe MAKES me anxious so you are so right. If the person excites me I know they probably aren’t good for me but if they make me feel calm I know they are safe. But my BODY gets confused by the calm and reads it as ‘the calm before the storm’ so I MAKE myself sit through it to show that no storm is coming. And if one does, you’ll make it though it like you did all the others ❤️🫡

That damm thing comes from the soul. The damm soul will escape letting the body burn in hell

Thr very moment when you see a channel talk about how "to deal with narcissist in ..." I know all these channels does nothing but trouble to the audience. Because they are basically saying " how to deal with a selfish unworthy irredeemable monstrous being". Its just finally the point of dehumanizing like calling someone a "Jew" in 1940.

I honestly think the idea of trying to fixate humans with disorders is simply not solving peoples problems. And it only will be used by ignorant people to dehumanize others. Bigotry and Idiocy is far more an issue than so called "narcissists" (Monsters)

The only care that the mental health system wants is care.That involves multiple medications.Please, I'm not enough people trying to get help.And they're sitting over here with fifteen to twenty medications following their doctor's orders

Especially? Nowadays, you have more single parent homes. All the burden is put on the caves. Because if you don't work then you all don't eat and you don't have money to pay your rent. And what do you think that puts on a child? When they hear you talking about that stuff. Get them to do what you want them to do. That's a real shame.

I think you have to welcome every first in your life. Just like when you're a kid and you first start walking, you took your first steps you took your first P. In the toilet you ate your first play the food with the Spoon all by yourself. All these first, and I think for emotionally immature. People they stop experiencing their first because of the adults start shutting them down. Stop asking questions. Stop having Fur thrilly.

I have NPD and I'm decidely still in the middle of recovery but I've made great progress. I help some other self-aware narcissists and between myself and them it seems to me healing from NPD is broadly a journey of self-acceptance. This makes sense to me. I'm this way because my parents wouldn't tolerate my authentic self, and externally I wouldn't be compensating anymore. I wasn't allowed to just be a toddler and a kid and so nowadays I have to teach myself that I am allowed to just be an ordinary person, that I'm allowed to be human.

As an avoidant i can say that we really cant help it. I grew up very alone and had to be this sort of independent. I guess im the bad guy but frankly a clever anxious partner is constantly trying to build in ways to hold the avoidant in place. These things arent based in the developing the relationship but instead are just clever traps. You find yourself loving and caring for the person but too often it feels as though they are just laying down in front of the car to keep you around. Sorry but that doesnt inspire love. Some folks are just loners

All I do is navigate my way through the world... Doing my best, moment-to-moment, to endure the least amount of suffering as possible... And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die. There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life. It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery. My heart is shattered. Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.

Keep it up dr Ruth!! I have a new suggestion video It's about how to tackle the 0 sum game thinking From the perspective of "If you win I must be loosing " And how to deal with envy that comes with it Take good care 😊😊

omg this really spoke to me , thank you for such a infomative video 👍

I blocked my ex girlfrend on phone and social media.she went via email, triggered me so bad. Have to start again. 3rd time discarded enough for me

My dad drives me mad with constant criticism. He treats me like I’m 5 years old and don’t know anything about anything. Even things I’ve been doing for years… he’ll come along and tell me I’m doing it wrong and give me awful advice about it. 🤷‍♂️

FREE workbook to help guide you through changing your relationship patterns: www.ruthannharpur.co.uk/pl/2148462109

Beautiful video. It’s nice to hear the truth when it is calm. I was a simular daughter with a simular mom

Thank you, the going slow is working. And you’re right, anxious feelings can play with your head but I’m realizing I have to stop that and just be me.

Could you suggest some best books to read and ur wisdom on increasing self belief in testing times of job search and career bounce back after a gap to build momentum without being stuck at mediocrity or uncertainty...

OMG it explains so much!

At 1' I am shocked! 😮 Yes, I was overprotected. Thank you, dr., it's a great video, great insights and advice. 🙏

Thank you 😂

Yes....excessive dependancy. huge struggle to reduce.

Blame vs responsibility. Damn that's a great video and great advice

My take, you are responsible for your actions but you are not wholly responsible for your circumstances. You ended up in a toxic relationship because of shame, so shame is not going to help you get out of it. Learn to show yourself compassion for what you went through, and hold your hand to make the tough decisions that you need to.

No they a re not wholly responsible. However if they develop some ego dsytonic insight then hopefully they will be motivated to change. lf one is a "victim" as such, then self protection is needed.The origin of NPD is probably a mix of nature and nurture. Agree with much of what you say here.

I can't even say how much I appreciate your videos and help. Thank you so much to take time to answer my question. It means a lot to me: it makes me feel worthy of attention ❤❤❤❤

Great to see you Dr Ruth, excellent advice 😊

Forgot about when they were the opposite and put up on the pedestal and had no boundaries.

It has been over 2 years, I still wake in the morning with anger guilt, and thoughts of revenge.. I lost everything, including my own emotional and mental stability. It still takes from me everyday.. when does it stop? I fantacize about revenge often even now.. I used to be such a Loving and trusting person.. when does it end? I wonder. How and when, and if it is even possible.. I want to see this person answer for what they did, and never be allowed to do it to others..

You talk ten to the dozen. Please pace yourself to allow people to process what you’re saying.

I feel like someone who’s went through this kind of abuse will thrive in a healthier relationship. Imagine a seedling that wasn’t given water and still survived finally getting a good Gardner!

Pegasus is a horse with wings that you ride into battle. What's not bad-ass about that?

1:56 - Avoid Intimacy 2:33 - Being too clingy 3:25 - Being distrustful 4:14 - Seeking reassurance 5:43 - Testing commitment by threatening to leave 6:53 - Unhealthy coping mechanism 7:37 - People pleasing 9:00 - Tolerating disrespect or abuse 9:40 - Obsessing over one person 10:40 - Controlling behavior

appreciate your videos