Відео

Thank you! And people wonder why its triggering for families when people say "adopt, don't pop." Meaning fostering rather than have your own kids. They have no idea.

I agree that foster families deserve more support from both the community and the state. Their work is incredibly challenging and crucial, and they should receive the assistance they need. Thank you for helping children and encouraging everyone to be better. I appreciate how much you educate us and are truly grateful for all you do.

These are ridiculous rules

I can definitely understand how troubled kids can ruin a marriage and cause foster parents to throw in the towel. I know of a case where a foster couple were caring for two brothers. The 6 year old youngest one tore up their house, punched and kicked his teachers, threatened to stab his bus monitor, and continuously tell another child on his bus that he wanted to slit her throat and watch her bleed out. Horrible kid. He was kicked out of a daycare, his behavior got the family uninvited to a church...the list goes on.

I wish I had Parents I haven't been in a stable home for a few years now and it's really messing with my mental health it's so rare around here to find a family that I'm just giving up hope at this point I hope everyone else finds a beautiful family to love them❤

Because Foster care is a lie. You are simply a placeholder for the kids to return to their parents. Kids just want their own parents no matter how abusive and horrible they are. Foster agencies lie and will promise all the support you need and it's all garbage. There is nothing for you. Get your own therapy lined up for yourself first!! The whole system is a lie. We are not sure our marriage will survive after 8 months and they just email us about renewing our license. They all only care about their ridiculous paperwork.

@fromthefosters fantastic video!!! I love your way of explaining this. People are getting to wrapped up in “wording”. Ugh just bless these kids. Love these kids. Encourage fostering. Encourage adoption. I like be the village. But I think she’s just reaching here.

Here's the real deal, any time foster co.quickly CLOSE a cases ,they get a large amount of money and bonus at your traumatized cost. The system ... and ...

Well, for one thing ,it's the support system. You hit it on the nail. Weak case workers,bad school systems,racial issues ,and false accusations. Truth being told, it's in your heart to help children. But, it's not worth having your reputation ruined.

I have encountered some of the most altruistic and compassionate foster parents who exemplify who a Christian is and others who seem to be mediocre babysitters who always want more money like it's a cottage industry. The good ones can alter the lives of children for the better and the others stand by while troubled kids age out with no GED, no job skills, no resolution of their trauma, and facing life on the streets or incarcerated or worse. Our country seriously lacks affordable mental health treatment for all...the parents in crisis, the traumatized children, the overworked and undertrained case managers, and the frontline shell-shocked foster parents. I've known foster parents who participate in private email groups to exchange info on services, activities for the kids, how to advocate for an IEP or ADS evaluation, and how to motivate their assigned social workers, etc. Get involved in electing state and national legislators who support what children in care and their caregivers need and break away from your own party if necessary.

As former forster kid defund cps and foster homes help the famlies don't hurt them cps causes ptsd and depression and foster homes in kids cash for kids it just a tip of the paramide scam and if the forster home has there own biological kids God help the forster kids that were the abuse begins

I appreciate your thoughts on adopting through foster care. We have bio kids and are open to more. Adopting teens and sibling groups makes more sense with considering our limited space and the heartache of being a “revolving door” effecting our bio kids. We may return to adoption multiple times from foster care as our kids grow up and move out. Part of our retirement plan is to offer respite care. Every family has different needs and factors to consider how they love kids.

You just helped me with my decision tremendously thank you. Just got licensed and I work full time as a nurse. Don’t need to quit my job 🎉🎉😊

I really hope you saved a copy of my Anne of Green gables comment and you really think about it and that you did not just erase what I said because I do think you need to understand that not everywhere functions like north Carolina and every part of the 12 and a half years of me being a parent and the thousands of parents who really did try to keep everything going for their kids is gone except for the memories and the stretch marks and a few pictures. Everything else is gone except for the knowledge that I did the very best i could with what little I had and they were my kids and they even now have cells of mine in their bodies and even now I still have some of their cells in mine as all mothers are microchimeras. I used no colorful metafores in my comments and I'm sorry if you didn't like what I said. However I worked my butt off for my kids making 18,000 a year with almost no child support, i went to all the parent teacher meetings, i bought them all their clothes and stuff i took them to all of thei appointments and counseling. I am their mother and who in the Heck has them now after they were taken out of state and rehomed is not. They are not whoever in the heck that is children i really need you to understand that as someone who has given birth and given up everything for their kids. There is absolutely nothing disrespectful in what I am saying. In this country most cps in alot of states have no oversight and investigators and foster care providers and judges get more money for yanking kids than returning them. We need oversight for this.

Why not search the entire real family up to and including 3rd cousins. What i purpose is that adoption be replaced with guardianship. And that there be state penalties for not putting the kids back with their family. The other thing I think should happen across the board is more cps oversight and mandated reporting should be changed. Instead of any suspension of abuse, it should be if there is evidence of abuse or neglect. And if you falsely report child abuse or neglect it should be an f1 felony. And if there is a false report then it should be taken off the families record. And you can't just yank a kid because the parent has another baby after refusing to sign her babies to the state after she loses to the state. Babies are being yanked out of the hospital without ever going home once just because we are poor and we lost our babies via hearsay with no drugs or alcohol or physical evidence. Especially in places like Florida, and California

Good for you. as a closed adoption adoptee who had my nest robbed through hersay i really appreciate you saying this. Because adoption robs kids of their rights. When you cannot place kids back with their parents or immediate or distant family via reunification or guardiship it strips kids of their legal rights to their real identity. So I appreciate it. I was a victim of covert narssisitetic istjs with fertility trauma. So I appreciate what you are saying to no end.

No it is unethical

Cps needs to do more for foster parents they are trying to do what the bio parents failed to do.

I have a cousin who was not adopted until she was around 8-9. She’s an adult now. But her name was changed and the reason was because she had dangerous family who had seriously harmed her and she needed to have a completely new identity that they would not be able to track. I’ve never heard from her whether or not she wanted or didn’t want her name to be changed but I know she loves my aunt and uncle and at the very least knows they did what was best for her.

thank you! that was validating! we just hit our 1 year anniversary this week and I can already see many of the points you made. We have nice, supportive caseworkers but they are BUSY. Looking back we really had rose colored glasses before we fostered and really should have had more trauma training with specific techniques on de-escalation. Most training talked about types of diagnosis. that's important but not my job. that's a psychologist's job to diagnose. my job is to keep them safe mentally and physically. I did on my own training; listened to audio books, podcasts, etc. but the behaviors can still be surprising. Everyone says, "they just need love." No. they need as much consistency and structure as you can during their super busy weeks with visit times changing/cancelled, pop up appointments, caseworker visits, etc. Love of course, we give so much love, hugs, positive reinforcement, etc. but love is also saying no, teaching them how to be good people, giving grace, empathizing with how confusing life is and advocating for their needs, etc.

You have a beautiful name

can u foster if your in an apartment?

I am going through a very hard time right now with my foster child she very aggressive to me and my teenager who help take care of her and to other adults and children with bitting and hitting yelling screaming and having meltdown in public 😭😭😭 that everybody just looks at her it bin almost a year

I'm going to point my foster families (I'm a social service worker) to your videos and keep track of this channel. I think this is a great step to connect and give resource and lived experience. I'm in the thick of a good transition story and an iffy transition story. I really appreciate your perspective and what you're doing right here.

Who pays for daycare while you are at work?

how do these children have a life if there so many rules ??

i didnt realize there was so many rules with fostering!

i think if my brother an I (frat. twins) had been separated because of the "genders cant share a room" rule i'dve had a meltdown.

Both my cousin and I ended up changing our names (for totally different reasons) and the only real suggestion I have for anyone having this conversation with their children or considering it themselves: Try to settle on a name you like before you turn 18. The process is easier and less expensive before you're a legal adult. I actually ended up changing my name twice (once as a teenager and then once for a not-very-comical series of events when I got married) and the second time was so much more trouble, especially since as an adult you may end up having to go to court to explain why you want to change your name (depending on your state and the judge you get). So, yeah. If your kid is expressing wanting to change their name, try to encourage them to find one they like before they turn 18.

Sometimes you he foster family makes life really difficult for the bio family and it is wild to think they would be welcome after the fact. I think it’s so important for the foster family to support and embrace the bio family so it’s a positive situation for all. If the parent feels the foster parent is looking for things to make a problem for the family again and again it’s not going to be best for the child.

Sometimes you he foster family makes life really difficult for the bio family and it is wild to think they would be welcome after the fact. I think it’s so important for the foster family to support and embrace the bio family so it’s a positive situation for all. If the parent feels the foster parent is looking for things to make a problem for the family again and again it’s not going to be best for the child.

I know this is an old video, and you’re not making videos anymore, but I just wanted to chime in for anyone watching that older foster children in public schools that participate in the national school lunch program will automatically qualify for free lunch (and breakfast if the school has a breakfast program).

Hi! My wife and I and found your videos. This “rules”video was so very helpful! We are in the process of fostering to adopt. Is there anyway you would share your rule book with us??? We appreciate your videos tremendously!!!!

Thankyou for your HELPFUL Honesty !

The cat party in the background lol

Thabk you for this video. Our daughter has no contact and for safety reasons. There's so much out there that makes us feel we are doing the wrong thing. People really need to understand its a case by case thing.

Glad you are addressing that video. I agree with you on nearly everything you said. Thank you.

It might be a state to state issue about the rules but I fostered many years ago in the state of Kansas and I had to ask permission but I was allowed to cut my foster kid's hair but I did have my license to cut hair so that might have made a difference and I always asked first and they never had a problem with that, plus I yes I had to ask but my foster daughter at the time really wanted to do tap and ballet dancing and I got to sign her up for dance classes. I was also asked by my 5 year old foster daughter if she could get her ears pierced and I didn't just go do it, but I did ask and they really had no issues with it, I just got permission and took her for her birthday to Claires and had them done. Maybe it was just laxed in my state but again that was years ago and in the mid 90's and I did foster care for a few years and never got sited for anything I documented each thing and played by all the rules. I would say that the hardest thing ever about being a foster parent was them telling me that I should not get attached. IMPOSSIBLE! YOU GET ATTACHED! Yes there was some kids that I was not too fond of but you can't let the kids know that you feel that way. I would do it again but I am not really wanting to have a life change like that anymore, it's traumatic not only to the kids but to the whole family. To the families that are thinking about becoming foster parents, you do need to have a thick skin or learn to develop one as it's just different. My years of being a foster parent was very rewarding and it's important to always remember WHY they are even in foster care, they aren't coming to your home in peace and harmony, there is always a "honeymoon" period and they will be usually be on good behavior for a short time then reality kicks in. Just try to remember that it's not a walk in the park but you can make it very good for the kids while they are in your home, develop a routine as much as you can with each child. I am no expert but these are just things that I remember from the 10 plus years I was a foster parent. I am sure that the rules have changed since but at the time I was a foster parent and maybe in my past state I lived in it was different than I hear it to be now.

You are so right about what you are sharing. I’m a single adoptive mom who fostered 3 children, 2 of them whom I adopted.

Can your foster child have another child sleepover at your house?

Im a foster kid and my foster parents took is on a vacation witth me and 7 other kids out of state in Texas and we go get our hair cut and we do sports jujitsu wich is learning how to fight but woth permission of course

I used to work as a paraprofessional for tweens and teens. The kids all were either neurodivergent or had behavioral disorders or both. This was absolutely the hardest job I ever had. And it’s not an “it was hard but it was worth it” situation. It compounded my own trauma. It was honestly terrifying. I loved the kids but that wasn’t enough. Here’s the thing, though. We had extensive training, getting paid to be in training an average of about 4-5 hours a week. We also had enough sick leave and personal time to take a day off a week. There were always about three people on staff with a small group of kids, so there would never be an issue with kids running off if one person turned their head. And all staff was on the same page as to what to do if a kid did. The non profit that ran the school recognized how critical all these components were. I don’t have any answers, but I wish that foster parents had the level of support provided to carers at a private special education facility.

Thank you for the informative video. Can you choose to only accept foster placements that could be eligible to adopt?

Its so crazy, indirectly you have to traumatised your own family in order gave safe good life to a child and big probability, than even sacrificed your own, you are not be able to fix anything, and some children with trauma , take a life time and even that not enough time. And your own family has to be pushed out, they own feelings its not counts, only a foster child matter.....its so sad realising after 8 years , when your family get so damaged 💔

Excellent video. I recently separated with my fiancé because of our foster sibling group. Instead of the agency being compassionate towards me they instead rode my back about going back to work, pick us apart for using medication strip packs, you name it. More people should hold the agencies accountable and qualified to be an agency. Then complain theses not enough foster families and therapists, when they need to invest in the foster parents that they currently have.

DD was an extremely low birth weight micro-preemie and many/most parents who went through the same thing when she was born divorced.

Private not for profit organizations means less reporting laws and more incentives for workers to take and sell more kids. With such incentives 76% of kids are taken away for reasons of neglect which under thier classifications can be just about anything but mostly people of low income are targeted, yes loving parents that even tho work hard don't have enough money or time to clean thier home all day and work and afford everything needed like individual bedrooms for each child. As well as any parent having a disability in most states is a legal reason they use to take children from their parents. Not to mention countless times social workers are caught lying and taking kids for absolutely no legal reason whatsoever. Kids are being taken from loving parents and abused in foster care and countless end up dead and or missing because these private companies get around reporting laws being under the private non profit or religious exemptions sector. This is how human trafficking in the foster system is disguised and left unnoticed. Over 100,000 missing kids from this system in the last few years and countless evidence coming out about the abuse these kids are experiencing through these private organizations. Christian and otherwise they're all corrupt!!!. You giving out information while obviously being naive about the organizations you're promoting is unknowingly promoting child trafficking. Please research the statistics and reasons for removal as well as the reports of abuse from the church organizations you're promoting! Until then the blood of every child taken from loving parents and abused and lost and unreported in these organizations is also on your hands. Wake up!!!

Sounds like it is worst than and just about as thankless as being a Stepfather...lol

Welcome to the roller coaster was the first foster care related book I read and it was 100% worth the read.

I have been trying to find out how to become respite care, since I'm not in a position to be a fulltime home currently but there is literally no information available for respite and everytime I call DHS they just transfer me around. We had an open foster home in our previous county but now that we have relocated we aren't able to open our home again at this time. I figured respite was the perfect compromise but no one seems to know how to go about it.