Catholic Couple Must Divorce to Save Son's Life | New Amsterdam | MD TV
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- Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
- When a child starts to reject his heart after a recent transplant, his parents confess they can't afford any of the aftercare medication as don't qualify for it on insurance.
From New Amsterdam Season 1 Episode 15 'Croaklahoma' - Max bonds with his fellow patients, undergoing chemotherapy at the same time, but a serious conversation sends him on a downward spiral. Meanwhile, Reynolds struggles to handle a difficult situation and Iggy has a realisation concerning his daughter.
New Amsterdam (2018) After becoming the medical director of one of the United States's oldest public hospitals, Dr Max Godwin sets out to reform the institution's neglected and outdated facilities to treat the patients.
Watch all seasons of New Amsterdam: www.justwatch....
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I can't understand why they had that conversation in the room with the kid. Knowing that your parents are getting a divorce because of you is a terrible burden for a child to bare.
I mean its not like they can't be together, its just on paper they would be divorced. Hed still have a stable family who lives together.
To make it more dramatic for the viewer
I would've left the religion and spared my kid any further trauma, but that's just me 🤷🏼♀️
@@A_Morgan_S1400 I mean, irl it wouldn't change anything in the church. It's a civil divorce, they aren't seeking an actual separation in the eyes of the church or God and Catholicism says those things are different. It even gives specific permission for civil divorce for red tape dodging purposes if there's no other way to secure something legally, especially if it's for the children.
Not a Catholic but my family are. Not a fan of it but I'll give them credit where credit is due, this scenario is covered in the doctrine as an exception and even if it wasn't directly, I doubt there's a priest alive who would not put the child's life first and advise them it's ok and consol them the government paperwork doesn't determine the truth of their vows or marriage and advise them that the church can still consider them spiritually married. Life of a child is pretty much a blanket exception to anything in Catholicism and they take that pretty seriously.
@@JoeyisDREADful I hadn't known that. I'd assumed it was God first in all things. Give credit where credit is due, they did this one right. I'll remember that
America really makes their medications so expensive like staying alive is a luxury
That's actually how expensive medication generally is. If you live in a country with a socialized health system you don't feel that price because your insurance company pays for the procedures and medications out of the pool of money that people pay for their health insurance. The fact that you are contributing monthly to your health insurance isn't just in case YOU get sick but also for people who are already in need of medical care.
@@floraflowers that's a good thing
@@floraflowers Yeah, no.
It's more expensive in USA.
Even when you add the price government pays for health services, USA has the most expensive healthcare out of all developed countries, and it's not even close.
Random example, my ADHD drug. Concerta 18mg.
10 USD in Poland WITHOUT national healthcare subsidy. For the original TM drug.
USA: 186 USD for the generic drug. Not even the original.
@@floraflowers oh no it's definitely more expensive in the us. For example birth costs 11,000 - 14,500$ in the US, but only 2000 - 4000€ (~2200 - 4500$) here in germany. I also know someone who paid like 3-5 time the price for the same antibiotic. American prices are crazy.
@Rika nope it's definitely more expensive! For no plausible reason at all but making the rich richer!
Wow this hit home. When my daughter had cancer and her meds after insurance were 10k per month they also told us to get divorced. As unreal as it seems this was their answer to us also. We worked it out.
I am so sorry to hear that. Hope all of you are doing better.
you mean this is a real thing? OMG!
@@Pursuepeace0715 Oh it's a very real thing. Get divorced, one parent becomes dead beat. The other one has lowered income. Then you can get benefits to save your kids life. Lovely system :(
@@ColorMyWorld Thst is incredible. it is as if they don't want families to be together. what a system we live in. thank you for responding because Ihad no idea this was a real thing that is happening. that is so wrong 😕
and why are the meds so expensive that is wrong too
@Visery Bovitale It's not as simple to get a Divorce on paper. You have to establish two different places to live also. For some this isn't a problem because they can use someone else's address. For other it's a big problem. I am sorry about your family.
"If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense."
- Catechism of the Catholic Church
Do you have a link ?Thanks. I am not catholic but I take offence with the idea that the issue is them not wanting to divorce and not a system that glorifies and promotes single motherhood. And USA is super family friendly in comparison to some European countries.
@@jaimeduncan6167 - UA-cam will not let people post links without lots of spaces. This exact statement can be found in paragraph 2383 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. And it's not stating that the catholic church is saying yes to divoce, but that it's not a mortal sin - allowing the person to go to mass, etc.
@@makmcdermott Yes I found it out and was unable to post the link also. Thanks for taking the time.
@@jaimeduncan6167 actually it is because the US doesnt have universal healthcare. It isnt a system that glorifies single parenthood. The entire system is designed to keep the poor poor.
@@101spacemonkey It's both. Clearly with universal healthcare she should not be forced to select divorce, but the fact that divorce is a way of solving the problem illustrate my point. It's not only that but the discussions and intensions of the people that promoted the laws and what they have done in some European countries.
Catholic here. This is not a hard decision. I'd "divorce" my spouse to save my child. You can literally still "date" each other. This. Is. Not. Hard. To. Do.
And to quote another comment on here:
"If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense."
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2383.
And any church who would genuinely take offense to a life-saving divorce like this is, quite honestly, not a place you want to go to. That's one dirty Mass, so to speak.
But wouldn't it be immoral to date ex-husband outside marriage?
@@anyotoma no not at all. Like, again, we're not so insanely rigid (unless the person is an asshole at the core)
like, this is literally just divorcing to save the family. But you still love each other, so you're together.
@@anyotoma Letting your kid die is also pretty immoral 💀
do you honestly believe that the writers did anything more than go "hmmm catholics dont believe in divorce, how can we use that in medical program". When it comes to more niche topics like this show writers never do much research unless its something that interests them personally.
@@cuhlainnslane1564 tfw we cannot trust TV to accurately portray our religions because they just hype shit up for The Drama
I don’t understand how this is a hard decision for parents to make. I also don’t get why people still believe America is the greatest country on earth when you can die for simply not being rich. I’m Canadian and I understand my health care system has many flaws but I know if I need a kidney transplant, I won’t have to worry about paying for the surgery or medications.
“I don’t understand how this is a hard decision for parents to make”
The video explains itself: they are a loving catholic couple being forced to pretend not being in love anymore in order to ensure their kids safety.
Of course it is a hard decision. It’s like pretending your kids are someone’s else to avoid them getting killed by your enemies.
@@MADARA66613 when it’s your child’s life it’s not a hard decision at all. They still love each other but it’s only pretend. It’s bullshit.
@@65Toronto65 of course it is hard because they’ll have to lie to their kid too, which can bring consequences for his psychological development
Clearly you are not married and have no children. In order for the “scam” to work they will have to live separately, otherwise the insurance company will get what their intentions are
I am a Catholic and I would do it without a blinking of an eye if it would save my child's life. I know marriage is sacred but once you become a parent your child supersedes everything. That's my belief. Ofcourse people have different opinions. It's sad that people have to make such decisions in the first place in order to financially afford their child's life saving treatment. Thank god for go fund me and people can help whet they can 🙏
i'm with you. I'd save my child no matter what I had to do
Exactly! I have never gone through one for myself but surely the church would take their situation into consideration for an annulment. And if not, I’d risk my afterlife for my child.
Darwinism
I’d like to think most priests would understand the situation and ask them to re-state their view to each other before their god, and forgive them the lack of a piece of paper from the government and Sri,l consider their marriage valid within the church. If not, what sanctimonious asswipes.
Getting legally divorced wouldn’t be the same. Being married is a sacrament in the church and cannot be broken by simply signing a legal paper. I think the church would give some allowance for this unique situation and allow them to be legally divorced because in the eyes of God and the church they would still be married
Their insurance is heartless. They let a child die than pay for the pills. The kid should have immediately qualified for Medicare.
Ya no that's most insurance companies
Even medicare won't cover it all
depending on how long the kid has needed the heart it's possible. 24 consecutive months as disabled qualifies you for parts A&B. Then they could get on a C-SNP plan for chronic heart issues which would cover the drugs and if not the doctor could help them get a formulary exception. There are options.
Im going through something like this the married couple can claim they are separated so the insurance can legally only hold the one parent held. Like with gov. Assistance
Children don’t qualify. Only the parent/guardian can.
Wow I can't believe they put this on tv. My parents did this because of my mothers kidney failure. People just do not understand how little coverage we have for chronic illnesses.
It's awful, but most insurance companies dont see clients as people, they're percentages and risk factors. And they dont care if your 10 year old is dying. Their money is more important 😔
In the eyes of the government if you can't make money you are not worth keeping alive
@@Jadzebra talk about objectification.
Good thing they put it on tv to raise the awareness. Not a bad thing at all. Im also very sorry for your loss
A divorce on paper is not the same as a divorce in the eyes of God.
Details????
@@kiara198923 In this case, they clearly did not make the spiritual or emotional decision to divorce. They still fiercely loved each other. They only signed a piece of paper to save their child. God cares about what’s in our hearts, not what’s on forms.
@@justme1892 so if a married couple started to hate each other would that be considered a divorce in the eyes of god?
@@rachelcookie321 nah basically it's just civil law and catholic law. you can get divorced under civil law, but to be divorced under catholic law you'd have to have your marriage annulled by the church
My parents had to divorce in order to cover my brothers surgeries and meds..it’s sadly very common
Speaking as a Catholic technically getting a civil divorce doesn't mean your marriage is over in the eyes of the church. That can only be ended with an annulment. Of course there would still be nosy people judging you, and it means you'd have to live apart from each other. It's messed up either way but at least if things change they can get remarried legally and they won't have to do anything with the church because they will technically still be married, if that makes any sense.
They can legally remarry when the son is 25 because he can't be on his mother's insurance after turning 25
@@i_am_bisexual_or_something3132 I wonder what the kid will do after that... 9'000$ a month is a lot. Even for somebody with a pretty good income.
@@leonamay8776 Maybe you will unfuck your insurance system in the next fifteen years...
An anualmente, is only if a marriage isn't conimated sexual i mean
why do they have to live apart from each other? no one can tell you who you can or cannot live with
At this point it wasn't even the "wrath" of God or breaking the sanctity of marriage that scared them but alienation from their community. Ironic how people will judge others in the name of God, the same God who is said to be all-loving and forgiving.
I also feel sorry for their son because he will blame himself for the rest of his life for the divorce of his parents. And people will also blame him because if it wasn't for him his parents would not have to make this decision.
The catholic church have no issues with this. In fact , it's in the Catechism "the care of children" is one of the exceptions that makes a civil divorce not a moral offense agains marriage. So the problem is not catholics (I am not one) but a system that negates health care to a boy because his mother is not one of the archetypes of the strong woman: a single mother.
Yeah pretty much all jehovas witnesses, Mormons and catholics live with that fear
@@jaimeduncan6167 correct. The idea is to deny children a concrete father figure and having them rely emotionally and financially on metaphors of a father such as the State, the mother’s boss etc.
@intriguing Woman it's not rational, you are correct on that, but it's human. Many kids blame themselves for their parents divorce and they have absolutely relation with it.
These two are so bizarre. I'm Catholic too. They can pretend to separate and just explain the truth to the parish! Then when the kid reaches the age where his mom can't be considered a sole provider anymore, they can just remarry! It's their kid's life, surely even the fckin bishop will understand.
The bizarre thing is, civil divorce is literally not acknowledged by the Church.
If you go live with another woman it makes no difference whether you divorced or not.
And, as they are already married in the Church and can't divorce there, it similarly makes no difference if they divorce or not if they are still married before God and fulfill their marital responsibilities.
Okay so in this episode they were meant to keep the hospital closed of for a vip patient who was from the Vatican so somebody was there to make it that the hospital was safe and he talks to them and says its okay. The show is called New Amsterdam on amazon prime. But I can't remember the episode or season
He does not have to understand anything. You should understand that they are manipulating the true to promote hatred towards catholics. The Catechism "the care of children" is one of the exceptions that makes a civil divorce not a moral offense agains marriage. So the problem is not catholics (I am not one) but a system that negates health care to a boy because his mother is not one of the archetypes of the strong woman: a single mother.
@@jaimeduncan6167 yeah, because if there's one thing you can say about a billion Catholics it's that they have the Catechism memorized back to back. Every single one.
@@jaimeduncan6167 the fuck are you talking about?
This is sadly grounded in so much truth. People have straight died because healthcare in America is simply just too expensive. Being insured means you have to play by the insurance company's rules and uninsured means hospitals can jack up prices without consequence. Either way, in the end it's just basically too expensive to be sick in America.
They can make it work as a couple. They can still live together, be a couple, be a family unit, as they were before. They just won't be legally married, but they can still love each other, be 'married' in thier hearts❤ God knows thier situation, God will understand ❤
Technically no they can’t. That is Medicaid fraud to do that
In order to get Medicaid and insurance as they were told in this episode they would have to prove they no longer live together. And lying is fraud.
It sucks but they do this to keep pepppe from getting benefits who are well over the limits. Such as food stamps etc.
They do have waivers for this in most states. To get Medicaid without a income cap. Some suck at wait lists but not all. There’s charoties who pay so much each year for families for this issue. Lots of random grants and charities for every medical need there is. Just not easy to find them and time consuming
Once you're married and you make that promise to God, in my eyes, it's not broken no matter what a piece of paper says. To God, they would still be married whether or not they got a divorce. Promising something to God isn't something that just "breaks", he holds you to it
Actually, separation is necessary before divorce and if you live together, you could still be considered married. My parents had to be separated for a year before divorce was an option and were told if they were caught living together, the divorce voided.
This couple would have to be apart forever to save their child.
@@jagirl966 better to never get married, then... marriage contracts are absurd.
@@tymondabrowski12 it wasn't a marriage contract. It's how divorce works for the most part. Separation periods are to ensure divorce is what they want. (Obviously the couple here don't want it.) In some cases, they can't even be in the same town, even after the divorce, depending on the laws of the state/country.
As a disabled young woman I will never as it stands be able to get married or I’d lose my benefits and medical care. It’s something that mattered to me till I found out from my lawyer.I’d have no hesitation.Their religion and religious community would understand to save their child
I'm so sorry. I've also chosen to never marry due to healthcare and financial concerns. Our system is truly disgusting
I'm not young or a woman, but I'm in the same boat. For those of you that don't know what changes with Ashley and me, this is how it works:
- If you're low-income enough, you qualify for SNAP (food stamps).
- If you get SNAP, you automatically get Medicaid that pays for almost all medical everything, with little or no co-pay. Mostly no co-pay. Government and insurance corporations pay, not the patient.
- If you get SNAP, you probably qualify as being under the income threshold to live in low-income housing (they have a maximum allowed income for each renter). If you make more than that, you can't live there anymore or can't move in to begin with.
- If you get SNAP, you automatically qualify for (but won't necessarily get) Housing Choice Voucher (used to be called Section 8). This makes it so poor people can afford a place to live, by making the government pay part of your rent. My rent is $800/month but my Voucher makes it $160 instead.
- If you get SNAP and are on disability, you probably qualify for Waiver Services. That means the government pays for your in-home care, such as someone to bathe you and dress you if you can't do it yourself.
If I got married, then my income (60% poverty automatically calculated by government) merges with my wife's income. I instantly no longer quality to live in my apartment, lose my Voucher, lose my Waiver, lose my SNAP, and lose my Medicaid.
This is why we still need universal healthcare. Stuff like this wouldn't happen
I am so sorry
@@ViirinSoftworks This is why still not married to my partner. I'm on disability and make too much for SNAP, was forced to get Part D Medicare that I now must pay co-pays I didn't have with my Medicaid plan. Not sure I qualify for the Housing Voucher because I might make too much even on disability. Don't qualify for Medicare premium payment help either. Add in a spouses income and I could lose what little help I do get. I want to get married as we are both religious and don't feel right about not being married but we are over a barrel.
My younger brother has several serious health conditions and can only afford it all because he qualifies for medi-Cal (California version). Every time his wife gets a few more hours or does well at work they get nervous. They've already discussed the possibility of a paper divorce to keep his help. It's awful that this is a real life thing.
That's awful. What an incredibly cruel system. I hope your brother and his wife get through without too much hardship.
“Marriage is forever!” she said, while also terrified of a piece of paper saying they’re divorced. You still made that apparently ironclad promise to be devoted to each other, a divorce doesn’t require you to move out of your house or start sleeping around…
this is exactly why so many people do not marry. to make sure children have health insurance.
@@eileensnow6153 you clearly missed the point and also what marriage signifies
I go through that with each annual review of medi-cal .... you cannot go over even a few dollors and i mean literally not even a $1 or $2 over the median income in order to qualify.
I have chronic health issues we lived below poverty level. I’m 31 and only JUST found out that my mom purposely chose to live this way in order to pay for my medical treatments. I was such an ungrateful brat always wanting the latest toys and complaining when I got a dollar store Barbie because we couldn’t afford a regular one. If only I knew then what I know now.. being a child I’d probably still complain, but yea
It sucks I hear about financially stable people having real health issues but getting caught in the middle like this couple. It’s so sad.
Hey give yourself a break. You were a child and you didn't know. Be kind to yourself. I wish you the best and I hope things look brighter and get better. Your mum sounds amazing and did the best she could.
You were only a kid. Try not to carry so much of that guilt with you.
The sad bottom line is that living as you did probably meant that you actually had more money in the long run than if you had lived above the poverty line and had to pay for meds.
The USA always promotes itself as such a fortunate country, but if you get sick or have an accident, or even give birth it can place you in life long debt or bankruptcy.
At least that is the impression from outside the US.
This breaks my heart because for once, the couple REALLY loves each other, but the system is forcing them to divorce. It's easy to say it is on paper and it's to save your kid, but as someone who is happily married, having to end my marriage even to save my children would hurt like something awful.
A system that can spend 1 trillion dollars on iraq war but not on health makes perfect sense
I mean did they REALLY end the marriage? At most they had to do paperwork, do taxes separately and fake having two addresses. No one is forcing them to live apart or change how they act towards each other. It’s just a pice of paper
@@yucol5661 why do they have to have 2 addresses? can't they be like roommates?
Comes to show how messed up the system is. America proudly brags its care for family values, yet here they are forcing people to divorce just to save someone's life.
@@cherryontop2141 If they live together their household income would be the same, so, yeah, I think they need two addresses.
They left out the best part of the episode, where a cardinal who was being treated at the hospital presented their case to the pope and he blessed it 🥰🥰
🇻🇦❤️
boom! son will feel guilty all his life. stuff like that shouldn’t be discussed near the ears of children :-/
And this is why, whatever the state of the NHS is at now, I'm still very grateful. I've had multiple surgeries and my mother has ongoing cancer treatment- without the financial burden.
I've lived under both the American health care system and the NHS. For all its many flaws, I would choose the NHS every single bloody day.
@@simplystreeptacular Just curious, what are some of the heaviest NHS flaws?
@@Ice.muffin Wait times to see specialists is the heaviest one.
@@ProfessorBzzt Agh dang, we got that one in common. Wait time truly is awful most often. For all the potential good care we may get, it's the waiting times that actually kill us or make the problem worse...
I'm in the UK too and I can't get the surgery I need. I suddenly became severely disabled at the beginning of this year, but doctors refuse the operation that would cure me. I have over the last six months begged and pleaded, but they refuse. They fob me off with "just take tranquilizers then you won't be aware of what's happening" and " so what if you loose job and home, go to a homeless shelter then"! I'll now be out of a job next month and loose my home. Still they refuse. I'm facing destitution and homelessness, and that as a severely disabled young woman with no family, friends or anyone to help. That's the NHS for you.
Fear of communal alienation is real so I don’t blame the couple for being hesitant. When my parents split up, I was told I needed to get them back together and if I didn’t try it’d be at least partially my fault. I got no help, no support, and I realized my “faith” was based on rules defined by an institution that refuses to acknowledge it can be fallible. My worldview collapsed. I’ve never set foot in a church since.
Judging by the above comments saying that divorce under a situation like this doesn’t break a marriage, and marriage under the state isn’t considered married in the eyes of God, I don’t think they have any issues if they seperate.
@@andrewrogers3067 never underestimate the power of ignorance. It isn’t just about the standing of the marriage, it’s about how you live with that arrangement. One parent needs to be a dead beat, they need to live separately, one parent doesn’t get to see the child, what impact does all of the above have on the child’s psyche?
Theres no shunning in the Catholic church and a great deal of understanding and compassion for sacrifice. Their situation would be understood...also they wouldnt be divorced in the eyes of the church anyway. The American healthcare system is the problem
@@ajc-ff5cm they can have split custody though, and can live nearby so the kid goes to one school and stuff.
It's stuff like this that makes me grateful for the NHS, even with all it's problems at least no one has to get divorced to qualify for medical insurance.
And no one has to worry about ambulance, surgery, treatment cost. And medication are affordable.
@@Ezio_1907 I have driven myself to the hospital with a stab wound in my arm because here in the US I couldn’t afford the ER visit if I took an ambulance. It’s ridiculous.
@@allshookup1640 absolutely ridiculous not to mention how there you have so many different forms of insurance and so rather than worrying about your health your worried about whether your covered by your insurance provider.
@@allshookup1640 I cannot understand how there still isn't a system similar to the NHS there. Even with it's flaws it's amazing it is a means of me being alive now through an important BMT as a baby.
@@Ezio_1907 it was terrifying. I knew that if I called the ambulance I would have lost my apartment from not being able to afford rent. So I was driving with a towel taped to my arm tight as I could make it and pressing it against me while I drove. Luckily I didn’t live too far away. The visit still cost me nearly $1000 for the stitches and wound care.
Imagine a health care system being that fucked up!
We don't have to.
Yes it is! I pay medical but CAN'T afford the dental portion. And I am in need of dental care the last two years. I've called around and only certain places will do a sliding scale to help cut the cost IF I QUALIFY.
US citizens don't have to imagine.
The only treatment for my condition is physical therapy. Our insurance paid less than we thought, but I managed to keep going. Now I have another diagnosis and the doctor wants me to not only go back to PT, but start OT as well. We simply cannot afford it, because our insurance won't pay for it. I'm left with referrals that take months to come into effect and multiple chronic disorders that I can do nothing about. Just now, in between these sentences, I had to take a second to breathe due to a back spasm.
Screw you, U.S. health care.
OT?
@@rachelcookie321 Occupational therapy :)
I’m from a country with universal healthcare and this absolutely saddens me that type of situation can happen with the American medical system. I hope that at some point they will change.
nah, it won't. they just repelled abortion laws when there is another shooting that happened. Guns kill more people but it's the abortion that is evil. They're going back to the 18th century.
How the hell? They covered the heart but not the aftermath? How the fuck dose that make any sense?
This is the reason I am never moving to America
That's because THiS IS amEriCA.
Because 'Murica!
MRKA!
In the US the insurance companies decide whether the patient needs the care the doctors say they do. For example it's not enough that a doctor prescribes a medicine, they also have to contact the patients insurance company and see if they think the patient needs it or if that particular brand is covered by the patients insurance company.
Because the insurance companies work on profit, they make an estimate on each client on how much they are worth. If the care is deemed too expensive for said client, then it is not worth covering. The insurance companies used to have a cap, meaning when the medical bills reached it, they would stop covering the costs no matter what. Before 2014 they used to be able to deny covering costs for pre-existing conditions, meaning if a client had a medical condition before their health insurance went into effect, e.g. someone was born with a heart condition, the insurance company didn't have to cover any of the costs.
It's so scary how accurate this is for the US health care system. It isn't right that actual people have to suffer through these things. These did nothing wrong yet they have make such a heart breaking choice just to keep their son alive.
It's not necessarily forever. One day, the child may get better with better or less expensive (but not worse) medications.
Or when the child grows up and is no longer under the parents' health insurance
Couldn't this family move to a country with a better health care system?
@@breezy3392 To move to any other country, without a place where they know from the beginning that they will finde a house and a decent job to find not only the drugs, but also the food and other commodities, would be far more expensive and so far more dangerous.
@@PKAC972 So plan for it. Divorce now to get the medication in the short term. Then look into other options like researching where has better health care and the cost of living there, etc. Plan, save, new job...the divorce doesn't have to be the end of things. People do find ways to move to new countries
@@breezy3392 if their son is sick then it will be hard to get a visa. Countries don’t want to let people into their country if they know that person is going to use up their resources. That’s why it’s hard for old people to move abroad.
What baffles me is that people seem to be more preocupied about the divorce than about the fact that your medical system forces people to lie in order to be able of getting medical care.
In my country everyone has the right to be cared by doctors. Medicines are affordable. Nobody would lose their House for medical bills!
exactly!! everyone is missing the point. getting a divorce just so ur child doesnt die is so crazy.
Which country is that?
@@stephenking5852 Spain
It’s just a divorce on paper,not them actually separating ,just to qualify for the meds….they don’t have to actually separate or not love each other 🙄
Actually, depending on where you live, the divorce can be voided if the parents are caught living together. So, they would have to live separately to remain divorced. My parents had to stayed separated for a whole year, couldn't even live in the same town, for a whole year before the divorce was even considered and granted.
This… this is heartbreaking. So many kids of divorce think they are the cause of their parents divorce. But this poor boy now KNOWS he is. That’s going to cause a lot of later life trauma.
I read a reddit story about wife who had to divorce so that his medical debts after he passed away wouldnt land on her. It was heartbreaking.
I’m a Catholic and I understand about the divorce but, if it means saving mine child’s life, I would say, “ where do I sign”? I worked in the Emergency Room and we had a mom bring her baby in, the baby needed a blood transfusion and the parents were Jehovah Witnesses. They don’t believe in transfusion. The chief Dr had to make a call to a judge to override the parents decision. Religion plays a big part in people life’s but, sometimes decisions have to be broken
The well-being of your loved ones should be above all else. Anyways, marriage predates christianity, and so what is there to understand about. I don't get why they don't immediately choose their son's life at first chance.
@@Noa...... I guess we will never understand but, I just know my child comes first❤️
You certainly cant compare two blood transfusion with divorse
@@SheryAwan123 I wasn’t compare the two. They both involved a child and what I’m saying is in any case is your child comes first in any situation. You misinterpreted what I said
I disagree with that choice.
You may have saved this particular kids life, maybe not but what you did do was convince the parents to never seek medical attention again and they will tell others in their congregation and that will increase medical hesitancy among that population.
Every time I see something like this I feel incredibly lucky to have my country‘s healthcare and angry at the healthcare in the US
We appreciate the anger. I wish we had more outrage in our own country over this shit.
@@CherryFlavoredFox0180 There isn't more outrage because the solution would cause even more outrage. People in the US don't want to pay more in taxes to help someone in need. The excuse is that "I shouldn't have to pay for x health issue when it didn't happen to me". Or the other excuse is to cry socialism or communism.
@@aznmochibunny In my country we love Capitalists. Start-up companies. India. Cause they donate a ton, are always on news giving away money to charity orgs, they even provide insurance for their own employees and run orphanages and old age homes. Poor ppl here see them as role models rather than thieves. They are also patriotic, always doing something for the Military. If the economy goes poor, like during this pandemic, we don't blame business rich ppl. We blame the govt for not doing enough. But fortunately, till now we have handled the covid situation to an extent. Also business rich ppl and politician rich ppl r split into two categories here. We all hate the rich politicians cause all they do is suck our tax money. The business rich ppl got rich cause of their own sales and income. It's why there is income tax raids in politicians homes all the time here. Most are corrupt. Ratan TATA is a famous billionare in India. Everyone loves him. He gave away 99% of his wealth away to the public. Built schools and stuff for the poor.
I have seen many people not marry just for this specific reason of having Medicaid.
This struck a nerve with me personally. I’ve had a lengthy history with Crohn’s Disease and being immunocompromised. My parents have worked so hard over the course of my life to make ends meet. We unfortunately have insurance through the Catholic Church, and as a result many of the more affordable medications I’ve needed in recent memory have faced several denials, because the Church insurance outright refuses to pay the cost, and mainly due to not believing in most modern day medicine. As a result, even as a working class family, 2k comes out of my mother’s monthly paychecks to the pharmaceutical companies for the doctor’s 2nd and/or 3rd recommended treatments that don’t work as immediately, and have to stockpile over several months before they take affect. Until these 2nd rate meds work to clear up inflammation in my GI tract, I’ve needed to make anywhere between 10-20 trips to the bathroom over a 24 hour period, EVERY DAY, for the last year, which has also lead to sleep deprivation. I can’t stand the Church a lot of the time. It’s either deny treatment that the doctors recommend that could’ve gotten me in better shape LAST fall, or the example in this episode-admonish and alienate a couple considering divorce just to provide for their child. And the vile part is, either way the Church would likely say God’s plan or something to excuse it. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor?”
Sounds more like Christian Science rather than Catholicism. Why would the Church not believe in certain forms of medicine? The Catechism says you CAN get a divorce IF it’s to save a life, among other reasons.
this is a tragedy through and through. I understand and empathize with both sides of the argument, and I'm at a loss at which one to feel worse for more
These shows hit where it hurts. Awful that their son heard the conversation.
Growing up, we had medicare and food stamps cause our parents lived together but didn't marry. My mom qualified for government assistance and it did help us a lot. (Me and two brothers) then they got married once we were in our 20s after we didn't qualify for medicare anymore. You gotta find ways to take advantage of the system that will leave you to die if you're not rich. 🤷♀️
As the mother of a disabled child in the US I want people to know this is absolutely true. Social security disability does not look at the income of non custodial parent. My husband and I were told at social security office to get divorced..I have personally known parent who gave up custody of their child because as a foster child state would pay for his cancer treatments
It's fucking ridiculous if you think about it. They KNOW that you are only getting a "paper divorce" and still living together if they themselves recommend it. But that's fine with them because it all looks good on paper. I don't care what side of the fence you're on, this damn system needs an overhaul.
And that someone would surrender their child so they can get the care they need is a travesty. The poor parents and kid, who were already dealing with way too much to begin with. It just breaks my heart.
So what happens when they get the divorce, but continue to live together sharing a home, a child, and paying bills together. After 6 months it would be considered common law right? Wouldn’t they just lose the coverage again?
Depends on where they live. Where I live, "common law marriage" doesn't exist and the "spouse" receives nothing should they be widowed.
If they were in Massachussetts, Common Law only kicks in after 10 years.
No. She will still get benefits for her and the child. They would be considered as room mates financially. The system is so fucked and backwards. I know people who play the system so well it's crazy. You almost have to have nothing to get any help. I have a part time job with two kids and I barely qualify for food stamps. Only recently with the pandemic it has be granted but who knows when this will expire? Even with the rent over 2,000 a month. I know I'm not the only one.
@@mslah32 most divorces require a certain amount of separation (living apart) before the divorce is finalized. My parents had to be separated for at least a year before they were considered divorced. In many places, if they move back in together, the divorce is void. So, he would have to live separately from them. Kinda sucks, either way.
@@jagirl966 Gosh. So it gets even worse with the system. Ridiculous!!!
My cousin is not married to her boyfriend even though they have a kid and live together because she gets more support from the state for being a single mother. At least that’s what my mother told me.
Wait. Wouldn't the dad still be on the hook for the insurance since he is the biological father? Can you get Medicaid if one of the parents has insurance that should cover the child regardless of parental marital status?
Yup in some states the dad has to pay X amount to Medicaid.
Yes. But it would be only a certain portion. Hundred vs. Thousands. More affordable financially.
Yes. Maybe, depends on income. Basically its letting mom off the hook more than anything. Dad gets saddled with all the costs plus child support. Cool! Since she's no longer married, it won't be cheating for her to watch Netflix with Tyrone.
I love how these shows actually being light to real people’s financial issues with medical things. The things we have to go through and deal with just to LIVE is insane
Thank god I live in Brasil where we have a public health system ♥
Good lord America is one messed up country. I feel for you all out there, who have to deal with a medical system as poor as this.
This upsets me for them, I cannot imagine 2 parents having to divorce to save their child's life. It would hurt me if I had to do that, but when it comes to it, your child comes first. Not only that, but in this case they could probably remarry each other when Jimmy's old enough not to need a sole provider. Until then, the parents can still visit with each other and him and do things like a family. I also hope he doesn't blame himself for their divorce, it's not his fault, just the way things are.
They can still live and be married together, just not married in the government's eyes. It's just that they won't have the same rights and protections granted by the government to married couples.
The parents would have already been well aware that their child was going to be on lifelong transplant medication. It's not the kind of thing that they forget to tell you pre-op
I think the problem was that they didn’t realize their insurance wouldn’t cover the medications.
Why? Should it have been a deal breaker for them?
How true and disgusting is that and to know that this is really happening every day to Americans in this country this episode should really hit home
Okay but the insurance not covering the drugs is bizarre. This could be solved by getting a formulary exception which these doctors would absolutely sign off on as being necessary. Also it's possible to work with the drug manufacture to get the drugs for free. Or step therapy to find cheaper generic alternatives
It isn't bizarre. I have a severe grass allergy and asthma and at one point my insurance wouldn't cover my epi pen or inhalers. Even with good rx coupons the inhaler costed $200 I didn't have and the epi pen costed $500. I ended up in the Urgent care several times as a result, which with my insurance at the time wad cheaper than my life saving medications. Eventually I got a new insurance that does cover these things but insurances vary on coverage and can decide not to cover some meds one insurance year and then will the next.
Yeah. It's not even smart. It's like they want to pay ten times as much in return hospitalizations.
As a parent the fact that they even had to think about it really pisses me off
This is also not an option in real life. It takes months to get a divorce. He'd be dead before the paper work was filed
No crap. People in these comments think a divorce is like a magical thing where the divorce fairy waves a wand and poof you're divorced. You don't even have to move out or anything. WTF? I wished divorce was that easy.
Poor parents and kid. This is an absolutely dreadful, inhuman and disgusting situation to be in, especially since it's manmade.
Texas has a law that kids with certain conditions can apply for medicaid on their own and would then qualify since they have no income. I can't believe Texas is the only state that has this and I am sure a CHD would qualify him. It is ridiculous how much you have to sort of play the system though and know the ins and outs.
I’m married and my partner and I come from catholic backgrounds. Marriage is 99% a legal contract. The 1% is religious. You can have a spiritual bond in marriage that doesn’t require for the government to legally recognize your marriage. A lot of people don’t seem to understand that.
plus, depending on the state, if you live together for so long, it's considered state marriage.
@@NAVEMAN3 That requires at least one partner to claim it is a marriage.
Let’s not forget Medicaid waiver programs just for situations like this. This is a “bump to the front of the line” situation. Had a friend who’s husband made too much money for them to qualify. Their child was born ventilator dependent. They got the waiver pretty quickly so their child could come home on the vent. He’s since had a transplant and no longer needs the vent. There are waiver programs in every state, but some do have wait lists. My kid qualified for one after waiting for about 7 years. His condition wasn’t life or death though.
I appreciate this highlight very much. This is the reality of those below middle class in the USA. If I divorced my husband for the paperwork… we’d qualify for assistance. 16 years, we haven’t- we are blessed with healthy children and haven’t made the the “paperwork” decision.
Okay... This is just weird. They created a bond that's unbreakable in the eyes of the Lord. Just because they dissolve the civil contract that comes with it changes nothing on the spiritual side of things. Why would that be anywhere near anything like an issue?
My goodness the issue isn’t that! It’s that they actually have to divorce to keep their son alive! I’m not Catholic & I don’t have any religious beliefs that conflict with divorce but this is barbaric! Even if they were atheists and were asked to divorce to keep the kid alive it’s equally horrible! I’m Australian and have free healthcare so maybe that’s why I feel like that.
@@sunkara8158 You didn't get the issue, then. We're talking not about the issue any sane person has with the way Americans do healthcare, but with the issue the characters had in the episode. And they had a problem with the religious side of things. Which is just as insane as the American Healthcare system. It's like they believed that a divorce in the eyes of the law is the same as divorce in the eyes of the Lord. Marriage, in the eyes of God, is like suicide. You can't take it back. You can't get unmarried, just like you can't become undead. You don't go to hell for pretending you're something called "divorced". That is not a thing in the eyes of YHWH. There's just marriage and, in a few really tough cases, annulment. I'm an unmarried atheist and I understand the official doctrine of most Christian sub-sects on this particular issue than these fictional people who are supposed to be part of the church.
@@LongandWeirdName Yeah that’s kinda dumb reasoning. To divorce civily to get those benefits means you can’t live together and do the things married people usually do. Even if they technically arent divorced in the eyes of God what kind of a marriage would it really be at that point? They would be trapped being separate for potentially years. Do you know how much pain that will cause? Do you think they could just get a civil divorce and just cary on living together like nothing changed? Be realistic here. It’s a lot of pain and heart ache on everyone for a totally dumb arbetrary reason. And of course if one of them dies they might mave no legal rights as they would if they had been married.
@@MissCaraMint Yeah, uhm... I just checked. From what I can decypher from the legalese jargon, Medicare and Medicaid don't care if your devorced spouse cohabitates the same household. As long as you're separate tax payers and don't have spousal joint property, like a shared bank account, it's all kosher. Providing the child with care from both parents is a personal choice that has nothing to do with eligibility for aid. And they certainly don't care if you have adult fun times together or go to the same church.
Edit:
And on the topic of legal rights after divorce, the spouse who is not made legal guardian and/or is not given custody(which is a separate thing, as parents may agree to shared custody) is still the child's biological parent and unless decided differently by court for reasons such as criminal history (or the child having been raised by a different parent from a second marriage for a few years, which won't happen in this particular case), they are the first person the guardianship and custody automatically fall to in case of death of the legal guardian.
@@LongandWeirdName and the fact that you need to physically live appart to get a divorce in many places is just meaningless? No it would be very emotionally distressing. Also my point about loosing rights is about the parents not the child. You know as a married couple you get more rights than if you are just cohabitatin. What if one of them ends up in the hospital themselves? There are visitation rights and the right to make medical desicions if your souse is unable. There are serious issues. You can say what you want about God binding them together in an unseverable bodnt, but the US govenrment doesn’t see it that way does it.
As a person from a country that KNOWS health is not something that should be charged… this is insane to me
I was going to comment on the fact that I have seen some seriously messed up situations on House M.D. over the years of the show but this is pretty screwed up. Also to @Eric Gabriel Madrid the biggest thing here is the weight of this choice, yes the Catholic Church may not see it as a moral offense but the parents of a child should never be put into a situation like that ever. The fact that the healthcare system is so broken as to make them make that choice is something that should never have happened to begin with.
This show is SO addictive!
Seems silly to me to pay for the surgery but not for the medication after. The insurance company would end up paying out more in the long run.
$9000 a month for life saving medication??????? And America is the greatest country in the world huh
I would divorce in a heartbeat to save my son and so would my husband as tough as it would be you do what you have for your kids
Being middle class is the worst because you are earning too much for help but you don’t get enough to live. Being lower class is easier than being middle and so is upper class.
CPhT here: drug companies know their products are astronomically priced. Generally they have a free drug program because they can write it off as charity and get tax breaks for it🙃. Even if you have insurance I recommend signing up for it. It's not like pharma is hurting for it
It's so sad that you need to be practically rich to survive any illness, which we all have at some point, if my family didn't have private insurance we'd all have health problems or (almost) homeless because of the cost
Well, when he is an adult, he would pay for his medication himself (or medicaid would do it for him, if he - not his parents - has a low oncome). It is not forever, it's just until he is grown up.
O_o
He’ll die without it
It’s so sad medications are so expensive these days
Can't they get remarried once Jimmy is of an age where he can pay for it himself? Or do they shill out for the medication for the rest of his life, even after moving out of said "single" mother's house?
"Divorce" my spouse so we can save our child while trying to beat this crappy system?? Heck yes. The only way they're divorced is on paper this way. In every other way, their marriage is whole and unbroken. Yes, yes, yes in a heartbeat
The attack on the family in America is so blatantly clear. So sad.
I would've never thought the "marriage penalty" could go THIS far!
As a Catholic you can be married in the eyes of the church and not in the eyes of the law.
So the reverse is true, you can divorce in the eyes of the law but remained married in the eyes of the church, this should be an easy decision
I know a couple who is married , had to be divorced on papers but live together, because they have a child who needs 24 hours nursing Care , the child has a tracheotomy
People shouldn't have to get divorced to receive healthcare. Sacrifice capitalised healthcare.
I know many people who are unmarried because of medical bills, it's ridiculous how messed up the system is
If the situation were to be explained to their pastor, then they’d understand. A civil divorce does not dissolve a marriage in the eyes of the Church (since the spiritual bond of a Catholic marriage is beyond the State’s jurisdiction) and is also justified in cases of child’s welfare as other commenters have noted. Certainly there might be civil regulations they’d need to adhere to after the divorce but so long as either party remains monogamous to each other, they could literally fuck the law and remain married (canonically) without incurring moral penalties.
... He just told his patient's parents to commit fraud.
Not really.
I know so many people that have tattoos or bracelets or some form of identifying to say Do Not Resuscitate.
Well from someone who is not in the United States 🇺🇸 and I can say that their sons Doctor just ruined their lives
As a parent it is your job to protect your children and also do any and everything to save their life when it's in jeopardy I wouldn't hesitate or second-guess
It's subtle, but at 5:00 I love that mutual look of "I love you enough to stay with you forever, even if we aren't married". Tbh I'm a bit afraid of marriage, but stuff like that makes me wanna get married if I find something that feels like that...
This solution is the dumbest I've heard on a show 😭
What’s the better one
@@leeleeb7413 Ask your employer to pay you slightly less than 40k. What employer would not drop your salary to save costs?
The doctors letting the kid hear their suggestion was so stupid and insensitive, come on.
This is just about what happen to my Sister and husband under God. If they get legally get married, they make too much for my nephew to get Medicaid/Medicare. For his bad heart.
An old boyfriend of mine had to divorce his wife so that she could get disability and medical insurance. They still live together but are listed as roommates and she gets her benefits and health insurance.
If I had to divorce my husband to save my kid, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
You’d stay married in the eyes of the church, but the divorce would only be on paper, like the Dr. said.
Why the heck should/would the wife and husband ‘have to’ get divorced in order to save their kids life? What does their being married have to do with anything at all?
It's fiction but can't stop thinking if somewhere happened something similar could you imagine how much pain, guilt & immense mental pressure that child would feel forward. Eventually he'll be fallen down to rabbit hole & made his parents' pain & sacrifices worthless.
That little boy is gonna live but he'll live the rest of his life knowing he's the reason his parents got divorced. They couldn't see if he was awake first. 😭😭😭😭
These parents are hearless... They obviously dont care about their son. How selfish of them not not consider...
Religious fanatasism makes people do the questionable things.
Valuing your marriage is not selfish lmfao
How did they even argue that lol divorce can be just a piece of paper and wouldn't need to change anything
I'm Roman Catholic and all those fears I'm hearing are BS. They must be heavy-duty Catholics that care for their own image instead of their kid and let me tell you, these 2 are only scratching the surface of how crazy the heavy duties can be.
"If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, [then] it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense." - Catechism of the Catholic Church
I’m catholic and I thought that divorce by law does not really count, and only annulment counts as breaking it.
Yep, and separation for good reasons is not a sin, either. Only sex with anyone but your spouse is considered sinful. This is just badly written...
And the US is the greatest country in the world. If staying alive is a luxury, something is wrong here.
We aren't the greatest country in the world anymore
It's situations like this that made me walk away from nursing. I became a nurse to help people not participate in dealing out death. In America, it's not about saving a life anymore. It's about when and how you'll die because Big Insurance and Big Pharmacy dictates so.
The problem is people don’t understand that “divorce” would only be on paper in the eyes of the law. No one is asking you to separate in the eyes of God. The little piece of paper you have to file was never part of God’s plans, it’s not part of the compact you as a couple make with the lord. I can say with almost 100% certainty that God never intended for marriage to be a deciding factor for finding health coverage.