Are you human? Look at the bright line between comments and likes the actual humans and the robotic circle-jerking sock puppets. About 15% might be human. But the google likes to censor the humans. Can you believe the google is profiting from the fakes? Me neither.
Woke means to wake up and watch the 1942 USDA video *Hemp for Victory* that legalized weed to fight against people like DeSantis. That means that barely anyone in the United States is actually "woke."
Regarding the "don't say gay" expansion to not talk about any 'orientation' through to grade 12, there was some people asking if that includes 'straight orientation' so they aren't allowed to talk about any type of relationship or simple husband/wife marriages.
technically no, but the lawmakers have made it very clear they don't see it as something that would be covered under the bill. Its just old-school homophobia same as all of their talking points about "groomers" that stuff has been around for decades to vilify gay people and make them seem like a threat.
I keep thinking if I was a teacher in that state with nothing to lose, I'd go for it. Everyone's moms/dads are now gender-neutral "parents or guardians" with neutral pronouns as not to imply any sexual or romantic orientation. I'd only use "spouse" instead of wife or husband, no matter who I'm talking to or about. Would drive parents nuts in short order.
It means banning any support for LGBTQI students, including extra curricular social clubs, GSAs, or any volunteering with the local queer communities. It means you can't go to any teacher, administrator, or counselor unless you're straight to talk about your identity. They want queer and trans kids to kill themselves and "disappear". I did K-12 in FL and I know how many children these bigots are trying to harm. Which is par for a GOP pushing to legalize child marriage everywhere.
@@verenabecker2724 Everyone has something to lose sadly, and they're making having "degenerative literature" in your classroom into a felony. Felons in Florida can't vote, despite the Florida residents voting to fix that (unconstitutional imo) law. The GOP ignored the Florida voters and imposed a poll tax on formerly imprisoned people who had already served their sentences, thus making it impossible for most to vote. DeSantis is also paying teachers thousands ($3,000 to be exact) to take state sanctioned "reeducation" courses that are purely revisionist history/lies to be spread to their students. The GOP hates anyone having access to education and knowledge of history, otherwise people will see that the same fascist playbook is being used to cripple America and take away the freedom of her residents and citizens.
To be fair, originally the programmer who's getting the money originally filed to receive his prize only 3 days after Lindell's request. But since we live in a hell-world where nothing is ever done when it should be, it took them this long to finally award it.
The irony is that the guy who proved Mike Lindell wrong is a Trump voter. Didn't know they could think for themselves! It is embarrassing that once again the GOP are putting the potential candidates out there that they are. They can seriously not do any better than Trump and Desantis?? For the love of God, have they no shame?? There are thousands of GOP politicians out there that could do a fraction of the job these two yo-yos are doing and still be better candidates.
There's almost always a point in your videos where I smash the like button before the end. When you say something so excellent I just can't wait. In this video it was the DeSantis/history book line. That was beautiful.
If Norm McDonald were still with us, he would remind viewers every single show that the Jan 6 ringleaders have suffered zero consequences. Pressure your representatives every day if you want the Jan 6 ringleaders to get punished. Otherwise it will _not_ be happening and *they will try again and succeed.*
Norm McDonald? That guy from all the really bad sitcoms in the 90s? Haven't heard about him since I was in high school, but I remember he was in like 50 sitcoms but he couldn't stop smiling long enough to do any actual acting. ...which is fine. It's good to be happy and spread a smile around, but actors generally need to be able to express more than one emotion.
He's trying to figure out how to write a decision saying that Federal Courts should decide the abortion issue instead of state legislators... without overturning the Dobbs decision he just wrote saying the opposite.
Thank you Stephen for keeping us smiling and laughing in this Trump and MAGA filled insane world. You are truly a gem and a national treasure. God bless you and all your staff.
Colbert is also a big part of the problem. Americans and their blind worship culture. His entire schtick is feeding the machine on the other side, and profits wildly from simply being the antithesis to the ridiculous right. And as any intelligent person knows, no binary framework can describe any phenomena with any useful articulation. He whips up audiences who blondy whoop and cheer tribally. And You all eat it up as a balanced discourse. You're as blind as those tribals idiots on the right.
@@user-wc1qi1lx7f 😂 isn't it funny when the absence of one little comma can take a lame attempt at insult and change it to a "thank you" to Stephen for all the worthwhile things he does. 😅
DeSatan wouldn't give two seconds of concern for anyone who lost a Disney job, or the consequences of that if Disney left Florida. Disney Insulted DeSatan. Disney Didn't Do What He Wants. That's all he cares about. He'll keep fighting even if it hurts all Floridians.
Just the threat of Disney moving to another state is a blow to DeSantis. I'm sure a good chunk of his base realizes what would happen if the state's largest employer leaves.
I live in North Carolina, and this is my first time hearing of this Disney bill. Also, we don't even have the infrastructure to handle a Beyonce concert. The one time she came, our largest highway was stop-and-go traffic for an entire day, and every single store in the surrounding 3 cities sold out of rain ponchos (it was an outdoor event).
Preparations can be made for every drawback that you mention.This is a high-level corporation that knows how to plan SO well, they outwitted a State Governor recently!
My brother works at SpaceX and he's been helping set up that rocket 😂. He knows I'm afraid of heights and likes to send me selfies from the tower while he's been hanging up there doing maintenance on it.
I would love to see Disney both move and retain complete ownership of their property, remove every single item of note, demolish every building, then leave it behind as just an huge empty lot that no one else can have or use leaving only a security force to keep out trespassers and surrounding areas devoid of the throngs of employees that moved with Disney to wherever it goes.
It won't happen, but I too love the idea of the gates simply locked and all that quiet, empty space just sitting there. Would be very poignant. (I also love thinking about all the tens of thousands of people who would be out of work.)
"These Supreme Court decisions should not be allowed release at these ridiculous hours. 11:59 on a Friday? That’s B.S!" - Why? The timing does not alter the decision in any way or restrict who can access it. Can you give me one reason you think it's BS, other than "I don't like it"?
@@nomore6167 So it can go into the weekend and avoid the daily scheduled news cycle during week days, so the Supreme Court can be out of their offices and avoid protesters by retreating to their hidden homes or weekend hideaways. They're chickenshits to put it more succinctly.
Whole heartedly agree. They did the same thing with Roe so we know how they're going to rule based on them delaying it alone. They're cowards who want to run and hide because they know they've fucked up but don't care too much because they're getting paid to do it. Despicable and corrupt.
I am a Floridian, born and raised here. I LuHuV ❤ the idea of moving Disney to NC! One, because DeSantis will be supremely hated by Floridians for this. Second, because this hateFULL GOP-dominated state doesn't deserve Disney! God, I hate this retiree-mecca State! 🤬 (BTW, I'm 63.)
"Ron, are you a history book in Florida? Because you just got burned." "I love how stupid everything is." Two best quotes of the night. Has anybody ever heard of any other group besides Christians and Nazis who burn books? I don't know of any.
@@crashbashify What, are you Nuts?!? Banning and/or burning books is bad no matter who does it. Books are someone's thoughts on paper, why don't you just burn people instead. Oh wait, the Christians already did that in the Roman and Spanish inquisitions.
Qin Shi Huang, China, 213 BC. Library of Congress, 1812. Anti-slavery books, US, 1859-60. Post-WWII criticism of Allies, Japan, 1945-1952. Literally dozens of other examples, some of more veracity than others; see Wikipedia’s “List of book-burning incidents” for a good starting place. While it is true that many book burnings were motivated by religious ideology, there is a huge difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture. I don’t condone the destruction of information that one personally disagrees with.
@@eroraf8637 Thank you for proving my broader point that people who burn books are authoritarians who are intolerant of any ideas that don't comport to their own ideology. And just what is the difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture?
Disney didn't just pop up the way it is today, why would Disney give up the state they MADE! NAW, They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again.
Yes, you're right that Disney probably wouldn't move just to avoid confrontation with a (very) temporary governor, but I have heard before that there are other reasons they might want to move, and have considered it in the past. Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get, so it's a hassle for like 95% of Americans to visit the place; and the land itself that it's built on is pretty terrible, basically swamp land that's been a constant thorn for both their existing and new building projects. So it would probably _make_ them a lot more money to move somewhere else, the fact that they could also do it to gain a little political clout would just be gravy.
"They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again" - Disney has no say in that. The voters do, and never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
@@danielgehring7437 "Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get" - The location is also at significant risk of flooding in the future due to rising sea level.
@@danielgehring7437 um no... They're in Orlando and not far from the international airport. They're only about an hour from Tampa and 30 minutes from the nearest major beach.
Stephen, you and your awesome team should create a book of anecdotes. I luv luv this one and its perfect timing. "Oh Damn Ron, Are you a history Book in Florida cause you just got Burned" 👏👏😂😂
Man, it's not even the heat, it's the humidity. I live down here, and every time you walk outside it's like someone dropping a wet dish rag over your body. Hot, yes, but miserably wet. There's nowhere for the sweat to evaporate to, so it just stays on your skin. 😭
@@veryberry39 Learn how to regulate your inner core temperature and yes, sweat can evaporate into the air, if you wear the right clothing. Raised in Florida, I know these things.
For all of the hate people have towards the Big Pharma Industry, this is the 1 time I want them to say to our politicians to interfere with this ruling since if all it takes is 1 judge to stop the sale of pharmaceutical medications that will hurt their profits big time, & if it keeps the abortion pill on the market it's a win-win.
Especially because you have to keep in mind, a great many drugs can inhibit one's reproductive capabilities. If they don't word the ruling extremely carefully (and with this crew, you just kind of already know they won't), it would affect everything from anti-psychotics to OTC drugs designed to help with arthritis.
This comment should have 20mil likes! 👏👏👏 I've been calling him that since 2020. (I was born & raised in the outskirts of Miami 😊) My sis-in-law, who still lives in FLA, calls him Deathsantis. I Love Yours Waaay Better! 😂
My parents are in Florida. I'm sad to say that if DeSantis drives Disney out of Florida, they will cheer. And then they will blame Biden for the sudden need for state income tax.
Disney NYC - Why settle for "One", when you can get MICKEY X Several Million!🤣😂😁 ...and they walk upright and sign autographs! Good monologue Stephen. Sure sent me on my day. 🧔♂(I kinda liked it too).
Yep, apparently that study didn't catch the "Macgyver smokers" 😅. "Get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel.... Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less." 😂😂
@@dianedenham5259 It is easy an avocado has a pit in the center, cut the avocado in half and remove the pit. Cut a strip out of the peel opposite the pit hole the size of the mouthpiece of the snorkel poke a hole through the pit hole to the snorkel opening with the ice pick. Pack the pit hole with weed and fire it up. It works best with an Un ripened fruit.
@@dianedenham5259 A pipe is simply a tube that's long enough so the smoke you get at the end is not hot anymore. You can make one out of anything you can bore through. I once knew a guy who was so desperate he built a 'reverse bong' by digging a U-shaped hole in the ground with a pocketknife.
Bahaha "Zeidman laid out his findings in a 15-page report. “I have proven that the data Lindell provides … unequivocally does not contain packet data of any kind and do not contain any information related to the November 2020 election,” he wrote."
As one of the many, many billionaires out there that struggle to come up with a name for our yachts, let me just say, "Thank you Stephen Colbert. Thank you".
DeSatan completely forgot that his fellow Republicans are all opportunists. If he's going to have beef with Mickey, nobody says North Carolina can't profit out of his idiocy.
His shtick only works on the uneducated morons and geriatric wealth hoarders in Florida. It doesn't travel well. With any luck, he'll drive Disney out and even Florida Man will turn on him.
Wow. That particular explosion is *very* reminiscent of the Challenger explosion. So thankful tests are done unmanned and there are more of them done before manning these crafts.
Disneyworld is my only reason to want to visit Florida. If Desantis does choose to chase Disney away, he'll lose my tourism dollars. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this sentiment.
It's certainly the only reason I'd go to that godforsaken place, save for a brief pilgrimage to Slip F-18, Bahia Mar, Ft Lauderdale. (Those who know, know)
At this point, Desantis trying and failing to bully Disney is like that one SNL sketch where the cheerleader is trying to humiliate and bully the host of the episode playing a high school student in the gym, but keeps getting beat up with every attempt.
if ron de santis keeps doing what he's doing he'll give florida the highest unemployment rate in the country and the worst economy in the country, and millions will stream out of florida at full sprint for states with normal democracies
And yet there will still be millions who will tat because they wholeheartedly believe that he’s doing what is best for Florida and the US. I know this because one of them is my aunt (who used to be a normal independent).
@@animewitch1416 Lol, anyone who stands behind that man is not a reasonable person. Make her explain what she likes about him; make her tell you she likes that he's against gay people. Make her tell you she likes that he sucks pudding off his fingers like a three year old. Make her tell you she's glad he would gladly put children in the way of danger by putting a prison near Disney.
Hey, "saving the children" would be my BS excuse if I just got elected as the governor of a state so I can use it as a political prop to run for president.
Forget the scientists. 1979, playing a concerto by memory for a scholarship competition, so stoned I don't remember arriving-playing-or leaving. Next day my teacher told me it was the most beautiful he had ever heard me play. LOL Scientific proof!
...and it still wouldn't count toward human casualties, so that's good. (Not unless we've suddenly counted aliens cosplaying as anthropomorphic naked mole rats as humans.)
I am so SICK of Repubs & especially, DeSantis, using the word WOKE. I don’t even know what he’s talking about😡😡😡😡
Neither does he I bet he couldn't tell what it.mean either
Thats the word that made me turn in my Republican card. Every time I hear it, I Vomit a little.
Haha. Yeah it's stupid.
They use it to describe anything that hate.
Not commenting on the the bill, but he's right about Disney. How do you feel about corporate owned cities?
It's actually pretty fascinating, from a sociological perspective. A prime example of a principle known as What You See Is All There Is.
"Ohhhhhhhh, Houston we have a metaphor for Twitter!"
Never have truer words ever been spoken.
That rocket has more fire and smoke coming from it than the bowl I'm smoking right now.
Twitter is so much better now
@@michaelburns1096 In what deluded world?
@@gljames24 I don't need people to censor stuff for me. I'm educated and a big boy. Now, Twitter treats me like I count.
@@michaelburns1096 well, The Former Guy did say he loves people like you.
"Your data, had no data" to a tune of five million, had me rolling.....Very funny monologue!
"I love how stupid everything is" Stephen is truly a man of the people.
Are you human? Look at the bright line between comments and likes the actual humans and the robotic circle-jerking sock puppets.
About 15% might be human. But the google likes to censor the humans.
Can you believe the google is profiting from the fakes? Me neither.
HE'S A MAN OF LITTLE PEOPLE HE WAS ON JEFFERY EPSTEIN FLIGHT LOGS YOU KNOW WITH CHILDREN
@@dan-fr9dn PROVE IT! Where are you getting that POS source From??
The unhinged caps-lock adds a particular veneer of legitimacy to his claim
@dan
You have a source for that wild claim or are we supposed to take your totally sane word for it?
"Are you a history book in Florida cause you just got burned?" Damn that's a well written joke.
I'll be using that one for sure.
I agree it made me laugh
AWESOME 😂
Q😊
NICE !
Sure hope Clarence is held accountable for his Quid Pro Crow!
Very good!
can you see the Senate impeaching him? or maybe the chief justice talking him into handing in his resignation?
Has a Supreme Court Justice ever been fired? Because if not, this case calls out loudly for it
@@ernesthill4017 yes... Impeached
Bah dum tss
I love how the band is into the comedy and enjoy the cuts over to see them. It's an uplift. p.s. Ba-na-na
"Are you a history book in Florida? Because you just got burned!!!" Hilarious, sad, brilliant.
"Ron, are you a history book in Florida because you just got burned!" 🔥
First
So how do you feel about corporate owned cities?
@@williamsutter8047 thats like every single state in the usa
@@aquaventus Overarching Federal rules apply though. That's why the removal of Roe V. Wade was such a big deal.
😂😂😂
They used to call the Republican party the GOP, short for, "Grand Old Party".
Now it stands for, *Grifters On Parade".*
Sorry... amended to the Gynecologically Obsessed Party. as the slogan goes... " What's in Your Panties" ?
I will repeat that!
"Now it stands for, Grifters On Parade". - Accurate, but I think "Guns Over People" is more poignant.
I use Gaslight; Obstruct; Project..
Excellent! Mine is OGP for "Old Goat Party."
Who's down with OGP?
Hell na, not me!
Classic line # 32,101...
"Hey, Ron! Are you a history book in Florida because you just got BURNED?!"
Love it.
63 enjoying 4/20 and laughing my @ss off. Great show❤
"Are you a history book in Florida cause you just got burned"... I'm using that everyday forever 🤣
Woke means to wake up and get rid of people like DeSantis.
Hence why he and his cronies are so terrified of it!
Bravo!!!! Well stated!
Naturally he would hate that. He is a dream demon, after all.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
Woke means to wake up and watch the 1942 USDA video *Hemp for Victory* that legalized weed to fight against people like DeSantis.
That means that barely anyone in the United States is actually "woke."
The laughter and applause in the press room for the rocket launch was music to my ears.
The rodents in NYC "have learned to walk upright and sign autographs" is probably one of the funniest late night jokes I've ever heard.
Regarding the "don't say gay" expansion to not talk about any 'orientation' through to grade 12, there was some people asking if that includes 'straight orientation' so they aren't allowed to talk about any type of relationship or simple husband/wife marriages.
That's typically how you expose oppressive religious bullshit. It's been used to contest the bible in bullshit book bans. I would love to see it.
technically no, but the lawmakers have made it very clear they don't see it as something that would be covered under the bill. Its just old-school homophobia same as all of their talking points about "groomers" that stuff has been around for decades to vilify gay people and make them seem like a threat.
I keep thinking if I was a teacher in that state with nothing to lose, I'd go for it. Everyone's moms/dads are now gender-neutral "parents or guardians" with neutral pronouns as not to imply any sexual or romantic orientation. I'd only use "spouse" instead of wife or husband, no matter who I'm talking to or about. Would drive parents nuts in short order.
It means banning any support for LGBTQI students, including extra curricular social clubs, GSAs, or any volunteering with the local queer communities. It means you can't go to any teacher, administrator, or counselor unless you're straight to talk about your identity. They want queer and trans kids to kill themselves and "disappear". I did K-12 in FL and I know how many children these bigots are trying to harm. Which is par for a GOP pushing to legalize child marriage everywhere.
@@verenabecker2724 Everyone has something to lose sadly, and they're making having "degenerative literature" in your classroom into a felony. Felons in Florida can't vote, despite the Florida residents voting to fix that (unconstitutional imo) law. The GOP ignored the Florida voters and imposed a poll tax on formerly imprisoned people who had already served their sentences, thus making it impossible for most to vote. DeSantis is also paying teachers thousands ($3,000 to be exact) to take state sanctioned "reeducation" courses that are purely revisionist history/lies to be spread to their students.
The GOP hates anyone having access to education and knowledge of history, otherwise people will see that the same fascist playbook is being used to cripple America and take away the freedom of her residents and citizens.
The Lindell challenge was kinda like “ read the transcript”
Somebody finally did !😂
How good is it. $5m. Lolzz what a legend.
To be fair, originally the programmer who's getting the money originally filed to receive his prize only 3 days after Lindell's request. But since we live in a hell-world where nothing is ever done when it should be, it took them this long to finally award it.
@@danielgehring7437 worth it imho!
He did at the time, its just that "Justice" is slow and careful, maybe to maintain the ruse if being blind
I loved that the only people he allowed to look at the files were Trump supporters.
The irony is that the guy who proved Mike Lindell wrong is a Trump voter. Didn't know they could think for themselves! It is embarrassing that once again the GOP are putting the potential candidates out there that they are. They can seriously not do any better than Trump and Desantis?? For the love of God, have they no shame?? There are thousands of GOP politicians out there that could do a fraction of the job these two yo-yos are doing and still be better candidates.
There's almost always a point in your videos where I smash the like button before the end. When you say something so excellent I just can't wait. In this video it was the DeSantis/history book line. That was beautiful.
Guess the rocket didn't pay the 8 bucks.
Perfect comment!!! LOL. Like children fighting over their parents' affection. Ironically, I bet Elon Muskox has nannies for all of them.
If Norm McDonald were still with us, he would remind viewers every single show that the Jan 6 ringleaders have suffered zero consequences. Pressure your representatives every day if you want the Jan 6 ringleaders to get punished.
Otherwise it will _not_ be happening and *they will try again and succeed.*
Did you hear that the Zip Tie Guy and his mom were found guilty, but don't have to go back in for sentencing until after summer? 😕
One of my representatives is Ron Johnson. So, uh... not sure that's going to work out for me too well.
In sorry. If he were still with us? I can't believe this is how I found out he died.
Norm is missed so much.
Norm McDonald? That guy from all the really bad sitcoms in the 90s? Haven't heard about him since I was in high school, but I remember he was in like 50 sitcoms but he couldn't stop smiling long enough to do any actual acting. ...which is fine. It's good to be happy and spread a smile around, but actors generally need to be able to express more than one emotion.
Hey Stephen, that crack about a history book in Florida was DEAD ON!! And thanks for the Lionel Mandrake joke too.
He should include BANANA in every Desantis joke it's like saying IT'S POTATO in his Russian jokes. Hilarious!
Happy 420 to all and to all a good high!
High there.
Justice Alito is crafting a ruling based on an 1870's decision regarding animal husbandry.
Wouldn't surprise me
Is that the one where blacks were worth less than farm animals and property? That's where make America great again was always going.
Property is property to some folks
He's trying to figure out how to write a decision saying that Federal Courts should decide the abortion issue instead of state legislators... without overturning the Dobbs decision he just wrote saying the opposite.
Tells ya how much they respect women. Which is a whopping 0%. (And that's at BEST.)
I hate corporations, but I hate desantis so much more! Go Disney!
The history book joke, I loved that!
Thank you Stephen for keeping us smiling and laughing in this Trump and MAGA filled insane world. You are truly a gem and a national treasure. God bless you and all your staff.
Well said. Thank you.
Amen!
Colbert is also a big part of the problem. Americans and their blind worship culture. His entire schtick is feeding the machine on the other side, and profits wildly from simply being the antithesis to the ridiculous right. And as any intelligent person knows, no binary framework can describe any phenomena with any useful articulation. He whips up audiences who blondy whoop and cheer tribally. And You all eat it up as a balanced discourse. You're as blind as those tribals idiots on the right.
@@user-wc1qi1lx7fStellar grammar! 😂
@@user-wc1qi1lx7f 😂 isn't it funny when the absence of one little comma can take a lame attempt at insult and change it to a "thank you" to Stephen for all the worthwhile things he does. 😅
Watching DeathSantis get bitch slapped by the Disney mouse brings a smile to my face.
"Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake". Love the Dr. Strangelove shout-out!!
Yoooooo ....Stephen and the joke writers of this show ROCK .... as usual!!❤
Since Florida will be completely under water within the next decade I'm sure Disney was already looking to get the hell out of Dodge anyway.
They're hoping to transition ... to a beachfront resort.
They all probably think climate change is fake news...so maybe not
Hope they have Georgia on Their Mind..👍
If Disney World goes to North Carolina, Florida will sink into the swamp that it is. No offense.
You have no idea how beautiful and pristine " Old Florida" was, and still there under the plastic shrinkwrap and pollution!
Disney probably already considered moving locations and renewing all their amusement offerings to reflect the new millenium.
Is it just me, or does our Stephen look like he's havin' a reeeaally good time ?😂
✌️💜🙏
DeSatan wouldn't give two seconds of concern for anyone who lost a Disney job, or the consequences of that if Disney left Florida.
Disney Insulted DeSatan. Disney Didn't Do What He Wants. That's all he cares about. He'll keep fighting even if it hurts all Floridians.
Things have been fine with legalization here in Canada. You should do it!
Same here in California!
Same here in New Mexico!
Same here in Colorado
Washington too, the evergreen state
love legal weed up here🍁
have 5 stores within 10 minutes walk
Supreme Court would be much quicker in any decisions regarding Viagra.
ultimately i think the money will talk and big pharma will push them to strike it down
Or penis pumps
Viagra is a much more dangerous drug, and is probably responsible for a bunch of unexpected pregnancies.
Bro they old give them a break 😭
is a fruit salad an orgy? best joke of the whole thing.
Just the threat of Disney moving to another state is a blow to DeSantis. I'm sure a good chunk of his base realizes what would happen if the state's largest employer leaves.
Incorporating state tax will make them all flip out
😂😂😂😂
You might be overestimating the education level of his base.
Florida needs Disney not the other way, the state is done for if Disney really leaves
“I love how stupid everything is”, catch phrase of the moment.
I know it's a different context, but this just reminded me of "It's funny how dumb you are.".
🎩
/ \
_____ / 👁 \ _____
| / --------- \ |
( (
😂 "I love how stupid everything is " 😂
I live in North Carolina, and this is my first time hearing of this Disney bill. Also, we don't even have the infrastructure to handle a Beyonce concert. The one time she came, our largest highway was stop-and-go traffic for an entire day, and every single store in the surrounding 3 cities sold out of rain ponchos (it was an outdoor event).
Preparations can be made for every drawback that you mention.This is a high-level corporation that knows how to plan SO well, they outwitted a State Governor recently!
Thank God we have Stephen's voice of reason! Vote BLUE and keep our country GREAT, safe and sane.
Another great monologue and great band backup! Thank You!🎉
My brother works at SpaceX and he's been helping set up that rocket 😂. He knows I'm afraid of heights and likes to send me selfies from the tower while he's been hanging up there doing maintenance on it.
That is so cool! I have a former student who works there too. He’s part of the team that designed the spacesuits. 😊
The joke writers did their thing tonight
Wowww... I said the same.😂❤
I would love to see Disney both move and retain complete ownership of their property, remove every single item of note, demolish every building, then leave it behind as just an huge empty lot that no one else can have or use leaving only a security force to keep out trespassers and surrounding areas devoid of the throngs of employees that moved with Disney to wherever it goes.
It's like a 43-mile long middle finger to the entire state of Florida! I love it.
Isn't universal in florida as well?, I wonder how they would react if disney moved..
Stock the lagoons with alligators - that'll cut down on the trespassing.
It won't happen, but I too love the idea of the gates simply locked and all that quiet, empty space just sitting there. Would be very poignant. (I also love thinking about all the tens of thousands of people who would be out of work.)
Just move out, the vandals and squaters will take care of the rest.
These Supreme Court decisions should not be allowed release at these ridiculous hours. 11:59 on a Friday? That’s B.S!
"These Supreme Court decisions should not be allowed release at these ridiculous hours. 11:59 on a Friday? That’s B.S!" - Why? The timing does not alter the decision in any way or restrict who can access it. Can you give me one reason you think it's BS, other than "I don't like it"?
@@nomore6167 So it can go into the weekend and avoid the daily scheduled news cycle during week days, so the Supreme Court can be out of their offices and avoid protesters by retreating to their hidden homes or weekend hideaways. They're chickenshits to put it more succinctly.
Probably Ginni Thomas' idea.
Whole heartedly agree. They did the same thing with Roe so we know how they're going to rule based on them delaying it alone. They're cowards who want to run and hide because they know they've fucked up but don't care too much because they're getting paid to do it. Despicable and corrupt.
I’d think it more sneaky shadow docket crap, who knows what else they’ll drop along with it.
"History book in Florida" SENT me 😂😂😂
Damn, Stephen and his writers are on fire today!
You are on fire, Stephen! Thanks for making me laugh at the madness!
I love how Louis adds his touch to Stephen's monologue
How wonderful. What a great idea. Thank you. I can't wait to start.
Hlo ma'am
I am a Floridian, born and raised here. I LuHuV ❤ the idea of moving Disney to NC! One, because DeSantis will be supremely hated by Floridians for this. Second, because this hateFULL GOP-dominated state doesn't deserve Disney! God, I hate this retiree-mecca State! 🤬 (BTW, I'm 63.)
If Disney leaves Florida, the next most popular tourist attraction would be having an old person scream at you to get off their lawn.
I'd line up for that!
That's one of the best comments ever !!!
Or realistically the beaches.. but yeah hey, old person I guess
I'd've said DeSantis's residency. Beside which a vendor selling eggs, toilet paper, and tomatoes happens to have set up shop, by pure coincidence...
More like get out of their swamp
"Ron, are you a history book in Florida? Because you just got burned." "I love how stupid everything is." Two best quotes of the night.
Has anybody ever heard of any other group besides Christians and Nazis who burn books? I don't know of any.
A better question is: if you did, would you adjust your world view?
@@crashbashify What, are you Nuts?!? Banning and/or burning books is bad no matter who does it. Books are someone's thoughts on paper, why don't you just burn people instead. Oh wait, the Christians already did that in the Roman and Spanish inquisitions.
Qin Shi Huang, China, 213 BC.
Library of Congress, 1812.
Anti-slavery books, US, 1859-60.
Post-WWII criticism of Allies, Japan, 1945-1952.
Literally dozens of other examples, some of more veracity than others; see Wikipedia’s “List of book-burning incidents” for a good starting place.
While it is true that many book burnings were motivated by religious ideology, there is a huge difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture. I don’t condone the destruction of information that one personally disagrees with.
@@eroraf8637 Thank you for proving my broader point that people who burn books are authoritarians who are intolerant of any ideas that don't comport to their own ideology. And just what is the difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture?
Colbert sinking in to Letterman energy, and I'm all for it :)
The "S.S. Not A Bribe" -- LMAO!
At least they had a sense of humor about the missile. They Tweeted that they had an "unscheduled, rapid disassembly" of the missile.
You have to give him credit, he was pretty efficient about it. 💥
🚀
Must taking their descriptions from Putin.
Nah, a clear self awareness and sense of humour doesn’t stick with the bandwagon of hate.
Disney didn't just pop up the way it is today, why would Disney give up the state they MADE! NAW, They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again.
Yes, you're right that Disney probably wouldn't move just to avoid confrontation with a (very) temporary governor, but I have heard before that there are other reasons they might want to move, and have considered it in the past. Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get, so it's a hassle for like 95% of Americans to visit the place; and the land itself that it's built on is pretty terrible, basically swamp land that's been a constant thorn for both their existing and new building projects. So it would probably _make_ them a lot more money to move somewhere else, the fact that they could also do it to gain a little political clout would just be gravy.
"They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again" - Disney has no say in that. The voters do, and never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
@@danielgehring7437 "Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get" - The location is also at significant risk of flooding in the future due to rising sea level.
I sincerely hope you are right
@@danielgehring7437 um no... They're in Orlando and not far from the international airport. They're only about an hour from Tampa and 30 minutes from the nearest major beach.
Stephen, you and your awesome team should create a book of anecdotes. I luv luv this one and its perfect timing. "Oh Damn Ron, Are you a history Book in Florida cause you just got Burned" 👏👏😂😂
Stephen Colbert, “I love it. I love how stupid everything is”!
Feel you anger and pain Sir!!
Yes please move Disney World to another state, one that’s not as hot as the surface of the sun in summer.
Man, it's not even the heat, it's the humidity. I live down here, and every time you walk outside it's like someone dropping a wet dish rag over your body. Hot, yes, but miserably wet. There's nowhere for the sweat to evaporate to, so it just stays on your skin. 😭
I don't care about the heat, there's just too damn many Floridians.
@@veryberry39 It's the heat too. Dry heat to me is as unbearable as wet.
GEORGIA! SOUTH GEORGIA
@@veryberry39 Learn how to regulate your inner core temperature and yes, sweat can evaporate into the air, if you wear the right clothing. Raised in Florida, I know these things.
For all of the hate people have towards the Big Pharma Industry, this is the 1 time I want them to say to our politicians to interfere with this ruling since if all it takes is 1 judge to stop the sale of pharmaceutical medications that will hurt their profits big time, & if it keeps the abortion pill on the market it's a win-win.
Especially because you have to keep in mind, a great many drugs can inhibit one's reproductive capabilities. If they don't word the ruling extremely carefully (and with this crew, you just kind of already know they won't), it would affect everything from anti-psychotics to OTC drugs designed to help with arthritis.
I mean, if companies are people... 😏
3:07 To Eric's defense: He also looking pretty sad from the outside, so... 😂
Thank you for the Strangelove shout-out!!
"See here, Colonel "Bat Guano" if that IS your name..."
For those of us living in Florida political H3LL, please refer to the governor as Ron DeSatan!!!
This comment should have 20mil likes! 👏👏👏
I've been calling him that since 2020. (I was born & raised in the outskirts of Miami 😊)
My sis-in-law, who still lives in FLA, calls him Deathsantis.
I Love Yours Waaay Better! 😂
Desantis hell bent on state taxes for its residents in Fla
My parents are in Florida. I'm sad to say that if DeSantis drives Disney out of Florida, they will cheer. And then they will blame Biden for the sudden need for state income tax.
@@michaeldougherty6036 I just want you to know that all of we seniors are in that boat.
Disney NYC - Why settle for "One", when you can get MICKEY X Several Million!🤣😂😁 ...and they walk upright and sign autographs! Good monologue Stephen. Sure sent me on my day. 🧔♂(I kinda liked it too).
That was a great one! Was Colbert at that Dragon Pop-Up Shop too? Hilarious.
Yep, apparently that study didn't catch the "Macgyver smokers" 😅.
"Get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel.... Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less." 😂😂
I'm intrigued... go on... 😏
Hurry up!!!
@@dianedenham5259 It is easy an avocado has a pit in the center, cut the avocado in half and remove the pit. Cut a strip out of the peel opposite the pit hole the size of the mouthpiece of the snorkel poke a hole through the pit hole to the snorkel opening with the ice pick. Pack the pit hole with weed and fire it up.
It works best with an Un ripened fruit.
@@dianedenham5259 A pipe is simply a tube that's long enough so the smoke you get at the end is not hot anymore. You can make one out of anything you can bore through. I once knew a guy who was so desperate he built a 'reverse bong' by digging a U-shaped hole in the ground with a pocketknife.
I ❤ Half Baked movie references
"Are you a history book in Florida". Now that made me chuckle!
I love the phrase, " sudden unscheduled disassembly." I was slowly disassembling things and found myself remembering that phrase today.
4:26 VERY Ted Lasso look you’ve got there, Stephen. 😉👍
Elon, making up for the emissions saved by Tesla in 90seconds.
Don't rockets use hydrogen fuel, not gasoline or diesel 🤔
This one uses liquid methane so that it can be refueled on Mars. But thankfully, raptor 2 engine is as efficient as physics allows.
DeSantis got smoked like a blunt!
Best monologue in a while! 🤣😂🤣
Bahaha "Zeidman laid out his findings in a 15-page report. “I have proven that the data Lindell provides … unequivocally does not contain packet data of any kind and do not contain any information related to the November 2020 election,” he wrote."
As one of the many, many billionaires out there that struggle to come up with a name for our yachts, let me just say, "Thank you Stephen Colbert. Thank you".
Should be Knot a Bribe
DeSatan completely forgot that his fellow Republicans are all opportunists. If he's going to have beef with Mickey, nobody says North Carolina can't profit out of his idiocy.
His shtick only works on the uneducated morons and geriatric wealth hoarders in Florida. It doesn't travel well. With any luck, he'll drive Disney out and even Florida Man will turn on him.
Whoa!!!!
i live in NC and don't want Disney here do you want it in your backyard?
@@user-uh5tb9er4o Hell yeah, I wanna go to Disneyland!
@@user-uh5tb9er4o Do have ANY idea? *ANY IDEA AT ALL* How much money Disney brings to Florida?
Wow. That particular explosion is *very* reminiscent of the Challenger explosion. So thankful tests are done unmanned and there are more of them done before manning these crafts.
I'm afraid I won't make it till you come back. I loved your show and will miss you forever. Thank you for the laughter.
Disneyworld is my only reason to want to visit Florida. If Desantis does choose to chase Disney away, he'll lose my tourism dollars. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this sentiment.
You're not and while I hate tourists you do give us money.
It's THE only reason to want to visit Florida.
I've got Trumplican relatives in Florida. You're right. Disney World is the only reason why anyone would visit Florida.
@@amyreynolds3619 Well there is also Miami but yeah Disney is a main big reason most people go to Florida
It's certainly the only reason I'd go to that godforsaken place, save for a brief pilgrimage to Slip F-18, Bahia Mar, Ft Lauderdale.
(Those who know, know)
Can't lie, Colbert is rocking the 'stache
"The rodents here already walk up right" LOL
At this point, Desantis trying and failing to bully Disney is like that one SNL sketch where the cheerleader is trying to humiliate and bully the host of the episode playing a high school student in the gym, but keeps getting beat up with every attempt.
You’re missing a prop ! Mike always wears a cross necklace to prove he’s a Christian🤣😂🤣😂
His actions suggest he's the worst kind of human, but man, that necklace has me 100% sold on his humble Christianity. 😂
@@veryberry39 Mike Lindell is the only crack addict who was a better person BEFORE he kicked.
Ah, yes, just like the cross necklace Ozzy Osbourne wore in Black Sabbath to prove he's a Christian.
That’s not a cross necklace, that’s just a very angry necklace. 😉
Yep. Outside the shirt. He’s such a ______. 😂😂
"OOOOH. Houston, we have a metaphor for twitter." AAAAAAHHHAHAAHA! damn u got me on this one! 🤣🤣🤣 savage. but accurate.
The Don't Say Gay shit is pretty much a copy of Thatcher's Section 28, which screwed over a generation of LGBTQIA+ kids.
Great episode tonight! Stephen was on FIRE! 😂
if ron de santis keeps doing what he's doing he'll give florida the highest unemployment rate in the country and the worst economy in the country, and millions will stream out of florida at full sprint for states with normal democracies
And yet there will still be millions who will tat because they wholeheartedly believe that he’s doing what is best for Florida and the US. I know this because one of them is my aunt (who used to be a normal independent).
That won't help them if they don't have jobs
@@animewitch1416 Lol, anyone who stands behind that man is not a reasonable person.
Make her explain what she likes about him; make her tell you she likes that he's against gay people. Make her tell you she likes that he sucks pudding off his fingers like a three year old. Make her tell you she's glad he would gladly put children in the way of danger by putting a prison near Disney.
Hey, "saving the children" would be my BS excuse if I just got elected as the governor of a state so I can use it as a political prop to run for president.
Well, he’d be long gone by then off on another grift, so I don’t think RD cares.
Even after the pudding commercial????😂😂😂 Ron!!!😂
Forget the scientists. 1979, playing a concerto by memory for a scholarship competition, so stoned I don't remember arriving-playing-or leaving. Next day my teacher told me it was the most beautiful he had ever heard me play. LOL Scientific proof!
The only disappointing thing about that rocket exploding is that Elon Musk was not on it.
I was sort of hoping it was gonna hit a Chinese spy balloon.
Even if he was, it still could be termed "unmanned"!!!!
...and it still wouldn't count toward human casualties, so that's good. (Not unless we've suddenly counted aliens cosplaying as anthropomorphic naked mole rats as humans.)
Strapped to it?
I remembered yesterday that it was going to be 4/20, then I forgot today. Which I think is the most 420 thing ever...
I think I got ya beat, I once knew a pothead that refused to smoke on 420 because it had gotten too commercial.
You had me at “DeSantis Humiliated”…😉
HAHAHAHAHA! The absolute BEST talk show! Tells it like it is Stephen Colbert! ... on this network and at this time... 😁
Love ur fresh haircut, #Steven Colbert!😍 And loved ur opening monolog!! 🥰
Stephen should absolutely play Ned Flanders in a halloween episode, where everyone is a human, or something.
I work with a good Ned Flanders
It was a fantastic Ned Flanders's moustache. Okely-dokely!!!!
"Stupid Flanders!"
Brian Cranston with his season 1 BB hair and mustache.
I was thinking Geraldo.