Bill Burr - Being Home Alone

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 24 чер 2012
  • / themmpodcast and billburr.com/
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 316

  • @dre857
    @dre857 10 років тому +618

    This is the voice of a happy man.

    • @lequack7399
      @lequack7399 4 роки тому +15

      In the style of late Patrice O'Neal, best thing a woman can do to a man is to shut up, or in this case-leave from time to time.

  • @nialls1048
    @nialls1048 4 роки тому +164

    Nia has reverse psychology-d Bill into cleaning the house. Outstanding move.

    • @dr.j7542
      @dr.j7542 3 роки тому +7

      Wow!
      "...Gosh, i never looked at it that way."

    • @jonjone661
      @jonjone661 3 роки тому +7

      Somewhere I hope Bill read this comment and he brings it up with Nia 😂

    • @dianapennepacker6854
      @dianapennepacker6854 2 роки тому +2

      My mother and grandpa are also oppressive in the Kitchen.

    • @seanm7539
      @seanm7539 Рік тому +1

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh my God you’re not wrong ha ha ha ha oh shit

  • @anthonymiller934
    @anthonymiller934 7 років тому +246

    Love when he goes off topic, and then realizes and says "idk" "idk what the fuck I'm talking about
    Cracks me up everytime.

  • @ImBoredAsHell21
    @ImBoredAsHell21 10 років тому +82

    "Some muh-fuckin' chicken!" xD

  • @doctorHOUSE
    @doctorHOUSE 8 років тому +166

    One guy just chatting on his own can be so fucking funny

    • @A6Legit
      @A6Legit 3 роки тому +6

      Not just any guy.

  • @timmian85
    @timmian85 11 років тому +151

    Bill Burr cleans the house out of spite... Thats hardcore Irish..

  • @joshuataylor3523
    @joshuataylor3523 8 років тому +224

    I crack up every time he says lady idky I find it so funny

    • @anonchen7656
      @anonchen7656 8 років тому +8

      +Joshua Taylor Great fucking taste, Sir. (there are no ladies and sirs anymore, that's why it's fun)

    • @Twobarpsi
      @Twobarpsi 5 років тому +2

      He's imitating Jerry Lewis in case you didn't realize that.

    • @ysavelacorral6491
      @ysavelacorral6491 3 роки тому +3

      Ladddddiesssss

    • @philorgneopolotin8762
      @philorgneopolotin8762 3 роки тому +2

      LAAAAADY

  • @reinforcedpenisstem
    @reinforcedpenisstem 9 років тому +114

    Can imagine Bill's neighbors over-hearing "Chicken and Broccery!" and thinking "Fuck. We've gotta' move..."

  • @aMANinaSUIT
    @aMANinaSUIT 8 років тому +54

    "Chicken and brocori". freaking killed me.

  • @alicat1564
    @alicat1564 8 років тому +112

    I love bill's women's voice

  • @sladekayastha6455
    @sladekayastha6455 8 років тому +205

    and that.....LAAAADDDDDYYYYY

  • @StephNuggs
    @StephNuggs 8 років тому +210

    "chicken and broccori!!"

  • @kingqp
    @kingqp 7 років тому +59

    Some muuuhfuggin chicken LMAO

  • @Messyman16
    @Messyman16 11 років тому +19

    Any time he yells away from the mic its so much funnier

  • @kellyd4535
    @kellyd4535 9 років тому +38

    Its so fucking awesome to be home alone. I feel Bills joy!

  • @FreakyKong
    @FreakyKong 8 років тому +130

    BROCK-OH-REE!!

    • @k4ir0s
      @k4ir0s 5 років тому

      CHEE-KIN!

  • @Rurne
    @Rurne 8 років тому +75

    If you leave it spotless, she'll assume you can handle it, so it's off her responsibility list and permanently on yours.

    • @rupin
      @rupin 8 років тому +13

      prophet.

    • @ArronLukeMusic
      @ArronLukeMusic 8 років тому +2

      +Rurne someone i know says they do the ironing and cooking crap on purpose so their SO does it. LOL

    • @sanjeetsingh3854
      @sanjeetsingh3854 8 років тому +11

      +Rurne The "everybody loves Raymond" strategy

    • @phillytheflyerable
      @phillytheflyerable 7 років тому +3

      or he had a booty call

    • @rawsko0316
      @rawsko0316 5 років тому

      Yep

  • @mvpshooter22
    @mvpshooter22 10 років тому +72

    Bill singing my birth date just had me grinning ear to ear haha

    • @zealteck
      @zealteck 9 років тому +7

      mvpshooter22 my birth date too

    • @longtailgar
      @longtailgar 9 років тому +6

      Kevin Tillman and mine!

    • @grilledtortilla
      @grilledtortilla 9 років тому +11

      Nick B Not mine, still enjoyed it!

    • @AurelioVeraIII-tp7yp
      @AurelioVeraIII-tp7yp 10 місяців тому

      Yeah, That’s cool. It's my bday too but it's Aug 5, 2023😅

  • @dylanjones1617
    @dylanjones1617 9 років тому +29

    "I haven't cooked in Yeeeeeears"

  • @bijujacob7060
    @bijujacob7060 10 років тому +13

    The dude is totally improvising, yet hilarious. Funny man.

  • @taylormoulton8424
    @taylormoulton8424 7 років тому +7

    "Whenever you're failing at what you do, you teach it" shout out to acting coaches hahah

  • @ErwinSchrodinger64
    @ErwinSchrodinger64 7 років тому +32

    "Bbbrrraaccc-ccccooorrrrriiieeeEEEE!"

  • @reynam2576
    @reynam2576 8 років тому +7

    my favorite comedian hands down.. always on point

  • @EricKemp001
    @EricKemp001 8 років тому +11

    In the olden days when the printing press was used, you had to make sure the p and q letter blocks weren't mixed up

    • @420Tarzan
      @420Tarzan 8 років тому +3

      Thank you for being knowledgeable, people don't value information like they used to.

  • @furleysbrain
    @furleysbrain 11 років тому +11

    Ps and Qs - FROM METAL TYPE PRINTING PRESSES back in the day, when you had to lay every letter out individually to create a press.
    A lower case 'p' and 'q' would often be confused.

  • @GAZAMAN93X
    @GAZAMAN93X 7 років тому +5

    "I don't even know how to make cereal" 😂

  • @khat1397
    @khat1397 10 років тому +10

    eversince I started listening to Bill I will randomly start quoting him doing the dollar shave club read "Easy shave buttahhh"

  • @dgilbertson10
    @dgilbertson10 7 років тому +15

    chicken and broccori. *yelling away from mic

  • @maximillianosaben
    @maximillianosaben 7 років тому +8

    Good call! Chicken & Broccoli is the standard go-to Chinese food order in NYC. Simply can't beat it. And he's talking Upper East Side? Bill is scoring major points right now.

    • @evanream6878
      @evanream6878 7 років тому +4

      Maximillian Osaben last week I got chicken and brocoree in Brooklyn and it was the best I've ever had

  • @mattanz9
    @mattanz9 11 років тому +2

    i love it when he yells way from the mic.
    it makes my dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  • @brnlei
    @brnlei 10 років тому +42

    " mind your P's and Q's ', is Pint's and Quart's...not to drink to much

    • @MikeRoePhonicsMusic
      @MikeRoePhonicsMusic 9 років тому +3

      P & Q are also sub-codes embedded into Red Book audio CDs (music CDs.) They store track start/end times, ISRCs, MCN, pre-emphasis flags, copy protection flags & more.

    • @carrrexx7190
      @carrrexx7190 5 років тому

      This cat watched the Sopranos too.

    • @varanasiwalks1451
      @varanasiwalks1451 4 роки тому +4

      mom always said it meant "*P*lease and thank *Q*"

    • @_booth7992
      @_booth7992 4 роки тому +2

      @@varanasiwalks1451 mom was right

    • @seanmartin5056
      @seanmartin5056 4 роки тому

      @@varanasiwalks1451 Mommas wrong againnnn

  • @wheremakeysat
    @wheremakeysat 8 років тому +32

    5:49
    AH DIN HEY YOOH

    • @reid69uk
      @reid69uk 2 роки тому

      That had me rolling 🤣😂

  • @Yoman1289
    @Yoman1289 7 років тому +6

    lol anytime bill sings its an instalike for me.

  • @wildazcat25
    @wildazcat25 7 років тому +2

    HERRO,NUMBA WAAN! 😂😂

  • @richmound5145
    @richmound5145 7 років тому +6

    "Like a muhfucka" lol

  • @brendanbalanced1945
    @brendanbalanced1945 7 років тому +1

    "Fuck the Ozone layer PAM"!?!?!??! Lol

  • @yellowmelancholy4875
    @yellowmelancholy4875 5 років тому

    Lmao “Bounce a fucking quarter off my goddam face.”

  • @nickdipaolofan5948
    @nickdipaolofan5948 6 років тому +5

    So true, twice a year my wife visits her moms house for a couple weeks and I stay home because I have to work. It is sooooo nice to get all the stuff done that I want to and also chill in a quiet house all to myself.

  • @spyfoxguy
    @spyfoxguy 8 років тому +7

    00:59 nice Joe Rogan impression

  • @ericcam5556
    @ericcam5556 7 років тому +5

    "You could come over here and bounce a quarter right off of my god damn face"

  • @jimmybonez8928
    @jimmybonez8928 2 роки тому

    I KNEW he was gonna mention the HARTFORD WHALERS!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!

  • @lockerroomtalkmusic4149
    @lockerroomtalkmusic4149 4 роки тому +1

    Good mood Bill is the best Bill! Lmao

  • @elisanchez5480
    @elisanchez5480 8 років тому +26

    I noticed something. He was so happy until he mentioned Nia nagging him in the kitchen, then he immediately went back into "Married Man Mode". Good luck Bill-da-Burr Workshop. :(

  • @Paddy.C
    @Paddy.C 7 років тому +2

    I can relate to the broccoli thing.
    My buddy lives on Rowland Road, but because we always phone for Chinese food when we're there, it's become 'Woahlah Woah'.

  • @multiestonian
    @multiestonian 5 років тому

    He sounds soo happy xD

  • @Francesco-cj3oi
    @Francesco-cj3oi 2 місяці тому

    "What the fuck?!"
    "You know what, what the fuck right back at ya!"
    I'll start using that one

  • @ScubaGolz
    @ScubaGolz 8 років тому +2

    "fuck the ozone layer pam"

  • @UrbanCrunkMovement
    @UrbanCrunkMovement 9 років тому +5

    I used to work at a steakhouse with alot of Japanese chefs and we had broccoli with hollandaise as a side dish. They would always shout the order as BROCK-O-REEE!! with not even a hint of an L in the word. :D

  • @SpankinMyDough
    @SpankinMyDough 6 років тому

    "June 25th in this motherfuckaaa" I fucking cried laughing

  • @MrGrapesniffer
    @MrGrapesniffer 5 років тому +1

    Uhh Jesus chirist, I fuckin live this dude so much

  • @jl.7739
    @jl.7739 3 роки тому +1

    Bill should have been playing „chic: le freak“ in the background.

  • @balqeesbaloch5213
    @balqeesbaloch5213 11 місяців тому

    In case anyone was wondering, it stands for minding your pleases and thank-yous.

  • @Bananapup
    @Bananapup 4 роки тому

    Bill is like America's crazy uncle who you love to visit and hear his theories and stories😂😂

  • @velvet2132
    @velvet2132 11 років тому

    hell yeah

  • @runly1
    @runly1 6 років тому

    Catch it like the Fonz 😂😂😂😂

  • @Guitarfreak931
    @Guitarfreak931 6 років тому +1

    If I can throw dirty change at a blanket
    Hahahaha

  • @chebre1291
    @chebre1291 5 років тому +1

    Use butter.. But cook the eggs on about medium they only stick when you cook the eggs on high heat low and slow equals less sticking to the pan

  • @wrxhex
    @wrxhex 7 років тому +6

    I live near Hartford and it does suck lmao

  • @whodoyouwanttobe7979
    @whodoyouwanttobe7979 11 років тому +2

    chicken and BROCCOLREEEEEEEEEE!

  • @PsYcHoNaUt1993
    @PsYcHoNaUt1993 8 років тому

    hahaha number one apology letter

  • @13shokey
    @13shokey 11 років тому +1

    "there we go, we just insulted teachers" hahah

  • @BingtheLizard
    @BingtheLizard 9 років тому

    Keep the place spotless, and show her that you're able to take care of yourself and her.
    Make her feel wanted. not necessarily needed.

  • @RashtaEinthisB
    @RashtaEinthisB 5 років тому

    The funniest shit 😂

  • @innerpeace6014
    @innerpeace6014 4 роки тому

    Her (out of town & checking in on me): What are you doing ?
    Me: Having fun without you baby...in peace

  • @hahahaha-ut6ir
    @hahahaha-ut6ir 3 роки тому

    Put some butter in the fucking pan bill! O-zone saved!

  • @hockeyed
    @hockeyed 5 років тому +1

    The Hartford 🐳ers!!!

  • @hkhat19
    @hkhat19 Рік тому

    7:00 sounds like it’s the origin of his mass murderers bit in “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”

  • @jcb8505
    @jcb8505 8 років тому

    It's like that in Boston Chinese places too!

  • @LordHypnos4
    @LordHypnos4 11 років тому

    In the world of logic they set up sets of arguments that mean certain things especially in mathematical proofs. It's been a long time since I took the class but you can have arguments such as p if q or p if and only if q and there are millions of different arrangements, p and q only stand in for a statement. Mind your p's and q's is a phrase meaning pay attention to your phrasing and make sure you are using the right logic to prove your proof

  • @Matthiacle
    @Matthiacle 10 років тому +2

    "There's nothing good about hartford" Chappelle said the same damn thing

  • @scp--yv1hv
    @scp--yv1hv 3 роки тому +1

    If you've seen bill burr live you know he doesn't pander.... he roast your city

  • @adrastea
    @adrastea 12 років тому +2

    that hitler fade line had me laughing all day. just saying. thanks paper.

  • @themanhaslanded
    @themanhaslanded 11 років тому +1

    f... it you do it, LOL

  • @skillz139
    @skillz139 9 років тому +1

    I just burst out laughing when bill said "a protein no bigger than the size of my head...isnt that what your suppose to eat?" coulda sworn it was a protein no bigger than your fist, I love bill.

  • @fistoffries
    @fistoffries 12 років тому

    BUT HE WAS FUNNY AS HECK!!!! I actually think that I started laughing 60 seconds before the video started and kept going about 2 minutes after it ended!!
    TOTALLY FUNNY STUFF!!! I NOW HAVE TWO PAIR OF SOAKING WET PANTS TO PROVE IT!!!

  • @jeffg2226
    @jeffg2226 4 роки тому

    At 4:23 hilarious old freckles crack me up with that ditzy female voice he always does.

  • @ramone2185
    @ramone2185 12 років тому

    From 9:30, to the end, is PURE TRUTH! I hate that too!

  • @vention4wh
    @vention4wh 12 років тому

    ROFLOL! I love it!
    I always wondered about that too. Was it really their life's ambition to scream at people all day?

  • @michaelappel9725
    @michaelappel9725 2 роки тому

    Brass Bonanza is the Hartford Whalers song

  • @michaeljudge5063
    @michaeljudge5063 8 років тому

    Same here I only order chicken broccerly!

  • @crazyjoedavola5430
    @crazyjoedavola5430 4 роки тому +1

    Laaaayyydy.
    Puddy wore a 8 ball jacket....

  • @amido7
    @amido7 12 років тому

    Birr Burr

  • @YouAlreadyKnowBabi
    @YouAlreadyKnowBabi 3 роки тому

    lmfaoooo

  • @darlakay78
    @darlakay78 5 років тому

    Dude you are so fuckin right

  • @Thankyouloveu
    @Thankyouloveu 4 роки тому

    About the egg pan....... wash your own pan!! 😅😅

  • @xYouthAttackx
    @xYouthAttackx 8 років тому

    lol chicken and brockaree

  • @SpasmFingers
    @SpasmFingers 6 років тому +2

    Perks and querks?
    Pandas and quasars?
    Pill Qurr?
    People and questions?
    Pepper and quality salt?
    Pasta and quiz?
    Please and quotes

  • @well.thy.one.
    @well.thy.one. 7 років тому +1

    Pints and quarts

  • @dababybackribs1000
    @dababybackribs1000 8 років тому +2

    p's and q's is actually a reference towards keeping track of people's drinks.. pints/quarts

    • @rad4life1
      @rad4life1 8 років тому

      +dababybackribs1000 Interesting. I always thought it stood for "please and thank yous". As it is used in reference to being polite.

    • @TheDayZCowboy90
      @TheDayZCowboy90 8 років тому

      +dababybackribs1000 you're a douche

    • @Oozywolf
      @Oozywolf 8 років тому

      Various ideas. Pints and quarts is one, please and thank you's, and finally - people think it was an expression that was used for typewriters since P's and Q's were simply reversed on the keys and easy to mess up (remember, typing was a new thing and memorizing the keys isn't too easy). Had to google it haha. It was always an extra credit question on my goofy professors math tests in college though! Though I always forgot what it stood for.. (I think it was the pints/quarts and the please and thank you's was wrong).

    • @Player-wp6fp
      @Player-wp6fp 5 років тому

      dababybackribs1000 I figured it was not to mix up p and q pretty much making sure your not backwards same as cross your t’s and dot your i’s

  • @eutue
    @eutue 12 років тому

    i ate from the No. 1 Chinese Restaurant around my way, back in the day.

  • @adammattis1318
    @adammattis1318 11 років тому

    Yes we do. :D

  • @adrastea
    @adrastea 12 років тому

    how do i make 3:44 my ring tone?

  • @PaladinHero
    @PaladinHero 10 років тому

    Ha, oh shit I forgot about that! Yeah, good point. How awesome would it be if Vincent and Max Cherry showed up in a time warp to help finish the job?

  • @MetaITurtle
    @MetaITurtle 6 років тому

    New Nick name - "Bill Burr the science guy"

  • @ACTHdan
    @ACTHdan Рік тому

    “Like a muhfuhhhckah”

  • @nathanmiller1334
    @nathanmiller1334 6 років тому

    How do I send him an email?!

  • @Thinkforyourself1997
    @Thinkforyourself1997 10 місяців тому

    Boil the pan with the cooked egg for a few mins. It peels right off.

  • @Vip3rC4in0022
    @Vip3rC4in0022 10 років тому

    That... LADY!

  • @TYoung90125
    @TYoung90125 11 років тому +1

    p's and q's doesn't actually stand for anything.
    It is a typography idiom. During the printing process (long time ago) you used blocks with protruding letters and had to arrange each individual letter into the press. Problem is that p's and q's look very similar so if you turn one upside down and mix them up you'll mess up the spacing between letters. Same issue with b's and d's actually.
    The more you know =D

  • @fistoffries
    @fistoffries 12 років тому

    I laughed from time 0:00 at the way to 10:26