Three years ago I found out that I was autistic. Then I totally tried to ignore it for 3 years. I had 'autistic days' (basically days where I melted down lol) but apart from that i tried to not shown signs of autism. Then recently i realzed that I was really destroying my happiness, and now i am trying to learn what is good for me. Like recently during a holiday, I had an 'autistic day' but at the evening dinner with some friends and new people i really pulled myself together, and went full 'i am normal mode'. And there was this one woman, that didnt even really a common language with me, who within 10 minutes asked me if I was neurodivergent. And since then, if people notice anyway, I might as well embrace it.
This nearly had me in tears. What would life be like if we really did have that level of acceptance? Thank you so much for this video! Just now catching up on your content and really appreciate everything you’re saying. 👍
Oh, and? Re: “aging out” of our autistic traits... I find my sensory sensitivities are definitely more pronounced as I get older, along with some other autistic traits. “It’s not a PHASE, MOM!!” 😆
"Why can't you be normal?" Because I don't know how. What's your excuse? I'd like to be able to convey to my boss that 1. time to myself to regulate my emotions is a *NEED,* not me being lazy, stubborn, or selfish, and 2. I have enough experience _being me_ to have a general idea of how long I need and how often.
I want to be able to convey to my boss that if he wants my opinion, he should ask my opinion; if he wants positive affirmations, he should ask for positive affirmations; and if he wants positive affirmations, he shouldn't seek them by asking my opinion about something.
As the NT partner, I have been approaching my husband with no expectations, not trying to trigger or raise his anxiety, give him space(which as an introvert I'll gladly oblige lol)...and yet he says he isn't able to reset or decompress so he feels overwhelmed. I'm gone for work for a large chunk of the day, I work full-time so I'm gone quite a bit. Why hasn't he been unwinding when he's home since he works part-time so he's home alone often? This is still an ongoing conversation as I thought giving him space would be well received, yet it's been backfiring more than anything. I try to learn about how to be a supportive partner according to his needs...yet it's backfiring instead of helping.
Sorry to say that but it might be that he just needs even more time. Maybe try to have an open conversation about it. Hopefully he can also put in words what his needs are. If not you could possibly find out by trying. For a reference: My ND girlfriend sometimes needs a whole day or even two just to process things that are going on inside her brain. Not always easy to accomplish but we found our ways. Wishing all the best for the two of you!
@@JunisGiehl Thank you for your response, and thank you for the good wishes. While we did talk about it more, I don't think my husband can answer "what do you need/want?" yet. From what he's said, a lot of what he said was in the moment and he didn't know what he really meant either. I think I should take what you said and give him some time so he can process what he even said. Sometimes when he opens up it's just a word salad that I have to piece meaning to with context from past conversations. Wishing you both the best as well!
@@rubyb7252Your kindness, patience and willingness to learn is beautiful. Thank you for being awesome! You are setting a great example! Don't give up! It can take some time to figure things out! Once you do, much smoother sailing! Music helps me, as does gardening. Helps me gather my thoughts as well as work off some energy! I have been married for what I am certain is 100 years! LOL 30 years! Take care! Blessings!
When I was younger, I was friends with this older married couple who were artists. One was ND one was NT. The way they managed not overloading was having separate bedrooms. Which, when I first found that out about them, I thought - oh no! I hope they aren't slowly breaking up. But then they explained how it works for them as a positive. Not sure if you have the space, but maybe that could work for your ship. (Sending from my wife's account,)
@@christenvargas4721 thank you for the response! It's wild that it's already been a year since I posted this. A total throwback haha. I think since then I've slowly come to realize that my husband seems to become overwhelmed by his own feelings and hasn't quite figured how to self regulate. So thats where the overwhelm and feeling like he couldnt reset would come from I think. Usually it's nothing that I really did, which can be confusing lol, but I'll slowly talk it out and reveal the actual issue and his actual feelings and help him soothe. Then we hug it out and he'll be apologetic for making it about me. And now a year later he definitely is a lot less tense and I've been told he's so much more outgoing since our marriage. Giving him some space before approaching him as helped though, for sure.
Thank you so much I'm really high on the autism spectrum and my 2 friends don't get it but after showing them this they've been so much better (THANK YOU 😊
Funny how I masked all round my 20s and then i could not mask that well around 24 or 25. and after that my autism took over but without me knowing I was autistic, had a very big meltdown at 24 , enough to go seek medical help, cause I did not know what it was going on with me, I had severe depression and a big burn out, no therapist knew or told me I was autistic, even if I told them my main problem was/is PDA, I can´t set and alarm for tomorrow or get an appointment and my stress reaching high levels just to think about that and if I have to go to work or another appointment, there is a chance my brain fakes an illness just to avoid doing that ( really funny to be me) anyway , i m writing this just to get it out of my chest a little bit. even if later will feel wrong that i wrote it.
I have an autistic roommate in college I am moving in tomorrow what is the best way to help him I have been in contact with him for a while and he’s just started asking me some weird questions and he looked through my stuff in the room what is a nice way to tell him not to do that if he does it again
UA-cam requires watch times goals to be met for smaller YT channels, & therefore they almost push you to ramble a bit at the beggining of your videos. It's annoying, but it's a fact. My newer videos were frobt loaded with very rambling/community building chat. As I grew, YT pushes to rapidly make the hard-hitting points & upload more frequently. There's more going on behind the scenes of UA-camrs. -Just hoping this helps the viewers to understand. 🤗
3:00 The start of this video
3:43 Alone Time
6:28 Communication
8:00 The meat and potatoes of communication
9:40 No expectations
11:20 Acceptance
Three years ago I found out that I was autistic.
Then I totally tried to ignore it for 3 years. I had 'autistic days' (basically days where I melted down lol) but apart from that i tried to not shown signs of autism.
Then recently i realzed that I was really destroying my happiness, and now i am trying to learn what is good for me.
Like recently during a holiday, I had an 'autistic day' but at the evening dinner with some friends and new people i really pulled myself together, and went full 'i am normal mode'. And there was this one woman, that didnt even really a common language with me, who within 10 minutes asked me if I was neurodivergent.
And since then, if people notice anyway, I might as well embrace it.
This nearly had me in tears. What would life be like if we really did have that level of acceptance? Thank you so much for this video! Just now catching up on your content and really appreciate everything you’re saying. 👍
Oh, and? Re: “aging out” of our autistic traits... I find my sensory sensitivities are definitely more pronounced as I get older, along with some other autistic traits. “It’s not a PHASE, MOM!!” 😆
I’m so happy and grateful to hear that Fiona. Thanks so much for watching. I appreciate it.
your videos have been very helpful to me, I have been late diagnosed, 39 years old....and its meaning alot seeing your videos
"Why can't you be normal?"
Because I don't know how. What's your excuse?
I'd like to be able to convey to my boss that 1. time to myself to regulate my emotions is a *NEED,* not me being lazy, stubborn, or selfish, and 2. I have enough experience _being me_ to have a general idea of how long I need and how often.
I want to be able to convey to my boss that if he wants my opinion, he should ask my opinion; if he wants positive affirmations, he should ask for positive affirmations; and if he wants positive affirmations, he shouldn't seek them by asking my opinion about something.
Will definitely do my best to implement your suggestions at all times.
That was beautiful. I am working as a caregiver with an autistic brother as well. Your perspective is extremely valuable. Thank you.
great work , very helpful
As the NT partner, I have been approaching my husband with no expectations, not trying to trigger or raise his anxiety, give him space(which as an introvert I'll gladly oblige lol)...and yet he says he isn't able to reset or decompress so he feels overwhelmed. I'm gone for work for a large chunk of the day, I work full-time so I'm gone quite a bit. Why hasn't he been unwinding when he's home since he works part-time so he's home alone often? This is still an ongoing conversation as I thought giving him space would be well received, yet it's been backfiring more than anything. I try to learn about how to be a supportive partner according to his needs...yet it's backfiring instead of helping.
Sorry to say that but it might be that he just needs even more time. Maybe try to have an open conversation about it. Hopefully he can also put in words what his needs are. If not you could possibly find out by trying.
For a reference: My ND girlfriend sometimes needs a whole day or even two just to process things that are going on inside her brain. Not always easy to accomplish but we found our ways.
Wishing all the best for the two of you!
@@JunisGiehl Thank you for your response, and thank you for the good wishes. While we did talk about it more, I don't think my husband can answer "what do you need/want?" yet. From what he's said, a lot of what he said was in the moment and he didn't know what he really meant either. I think I should take what you said and give him some time so he can process what he even said. Sometimes when he opens up it's just a word salad that I have to piece meaning to with context from past conversations.
Wishing you both the best as well!
@@rubyb7252Your kindness, patience and willingness to learn is beautiful. Thank you for being awesome! You are setting a great example! Don't give up! It can take some time to figure things out! Once you do, much smoother sailing! Music helps me, as does gardening. Helps me gather my thoughts as well as work off some energy! I have been married for what I am certain is 100 years! LOL 30 years! Take care! Blessings!
When I was younger, I was friends with this older married couple who were artists. One was ND one was NT. The way they managed not overloading was having separate bedrooms. Which, when I first found that out about them, I thought - oh no! I hope they aren't slowly breaking up. But then they explained how it works for them as a positive. Not sure if you have the space, but maybe that could work for your ship. (Sending from my wife's account,)
@@christenvargas4721 thank you for the response! It's wild that it's already been a year since I posted this. A total throwback haha.
I think since then I've slowly come to realize that my husband seems to become overwhelmed by his own feelings and hasn't quite figured how to self regulate. So thats where the overwhelm and feeling like he couldnt reset would come from I think. Usually it's nothing that I really did, which can be confusing lol, but I'll slowly talk it out and reveal the actual issue and his actual feelings and help him soothe. Then we hug it out and he'll be apologetic for making it about me. And now a year later he definitely is a lot less tense and I've been told he's so much more outgoing since our marriage.
Giving him some space before approaching him as helped though, for sure.
This video is realy good. I'm autistic and your videos are very helpfull, thank you.
I’m so grateful to hear that. Thanks for watching.
Thank you. ❤
Thank you so much I'm really high on the autism spectrum and my 2 friends don't get it but after showing them this they've been so much better (THANK YOU 😊
Funny how I masked all round my 20s and then i could not mask that well around 24 or 25. and after that my autism took over but without me knowing I was autistic, had a very big meltdown at 24 , enough to go seek medical help, cause I did not know what it was going on with me, I had severe depression and a big burn out, no therapist knew or told me I was autistic, even if I told them my main problem was/is PDA, I can´t set and alarm for tomorrow or get an appointment and my stress reaching high levels just to think about that and if I have to go to work or another appointment, there is a chance my brain fakes an illness just to avoid doing that ( really funny to be me) anyway , i m writing this just to get it out of my chest a little bit. even if later will feel wrong that i wrote it.
Thank you :)
Wow
😂…MORE NORMAL! Great introduction.
I have an autistic roommate in college I am moving in tomorrow what is the best way to help him I have been in contact with him for a while and he’s just started asking me some weird questions and he looked through my stuff in the room what is a nice way to tell him not to do that if he does it again
Takes you 4 minutes to get into the subject
UA-cam requires watch times goals to be met for smaller YT channels, & therefore they almost push you to ramble a bit at the beggining of your videos. It's annoying, but it's a fact. My newer videos were frobt loaded with very rambling/community building chat. As I grew, YT pushes to rapidly make the hard-hitting points & upload more frequently. There's more going on behind the scenes of UA-camrs. -Just hoping this helps the viewers to understand. 🤗
Man my bro has autism what I’m hearing from you is let them flop you need to learn how to deal with the world
This is enabling problems, not solving them. Reporting this channel and video for misinformation and harmful content.
Hard disagree. Orion has been one of my lifelines in my adult late diagnosis process.