Weekend Update: A Frozen Embryo from Alabama - SNL
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- A frozen embryo from Alabama (Marcello Hernández) stops by Weekend Update to discuss the state's supreme court's recent ruling.
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#SNL #ShaneGillis #SNL49 #MarcelloHernández
Consequently, Marcello the Embryo is required to work an 8 hour shift every day after school to support himself in Alabama as there are no free lunch in that state.
The good news is, children yearn for the mines. It's a win-win.
are no free lunches*
is no free lunch*
Worry less about lunch and more about basic education.
What kind of embryo is it?
I'm not sure where the "disinformation" regarding free lunches in Alabama came from, but it is patently false. My children go to an Alabama public school and they get free lunch and could get free breakfast, neither of which are income or need based. Free lunch is for every student. Sorry to disappoint everyone that wants to hate and bash Alabama.
@@clarkewalker2607"Jefferson County, one of the largest school districts, ended the school year with $40k in unpaid meal debt"
One of the first articles I found, not really disinformation like what you posted.
They have expanded and are still working on expanding free meals to high poverty schools though. That's good because there's plenty of poverty in Alabama.
“There’s an animal within you, and now everyone has seen it” 😂I’m dying 3:09
That was savagery
Perfect timing, delivery, everything 🎉😂❤
Breaking news: in Alabama eggs are now $10 each as they are actually considered whole chickens.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Probably valid for some farmers' market eggs, but storebought are typically unfertilized.
...and are tax-deductible as they are considered dependents.
Good One !! 😁
@@concinnus those alabama boys keep their chicken breed if you know what i mean, same as sheep.
"I've always wanted a twin. I think he'd be delicious." The delivery and Michael's facial expression during that line was so unhinged 🤣
If an embryo eats another embryo is it a homicide in Alabama? Once the kid is born, believe it or not, straight to jail!
just like in Texas
you know embryos can't actually eat embryos, right? embryos can fuse together. fetuses can assimilate each other. that is as close as you can get.
PS: i meant humans, obviously - a shark fetus CAN literally kill and eat another shark fetus
"This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Baraqua. You eat your twin, believe it or not they put you in jail. They have the best embryos in the world."
I wanna claim all the eggs i produce every year on my taxes.
I'm claiming mine from age 12.
they never saud eggs, its still dumb, but eggs are not the same
@@Hitomankiri What will Alabama have without her eggs, or My sperm?
I may be postmenopausal, but I still have eggs! I get a tax deduction!
We are born with 1-2 MILLION eggs. That's a shit ton of dependents!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Alabama ranks 47th in the country for overall child well-being…
And about the same in education…
50th in education.
That high?
What a surprise, a red state is a giant shithole. Color me shocked
Why am I not surprised?
The styling for the frozen embryo s top notch 😂
looked way too human
If frozen embryos are regarded as children in Alabama, can the parents claim them as deductions on their 10-40?
Here's my question: If an IVF procedure in Alabama fails, does that mean the doctor and/or parents could be charged with murder?
That’s is actually a smart question no matter who doesn’t understand it. They should bring this question up everywhere and show the stupidity of these idiots 😂 .
That's why at least 3 clinics closed.
Exactly why all procedures have been stopped! No one’s getting IVF or fertilising embryos there.
Not just “parents”, doctors, staff at the clinics, heck even the driver who took the couple there could be liable.
America!! 🎪🤡🤡
That’s why this whole thing came about in the first place, someone accidentally the embryos and ruined them so now they might be tried for INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER (or wrongful death or something) THIS IS A REAL THING
Yes! And the parents parents too! Killing embryos is a terrible cult by the Woke! 🤪
I love how adorably joyful Marcello is throughout this whole bit
No brain, no internal organs, no problems.
still a bit nervous. understandably
Ya like watching Ted Bundy reminisce
@@JakeyD23the fragility 😂
@@RepublicansJugglingLs bro I’m literal as fuck and this constant gaslighting sucks. Being liberal used mean you were smart. Now it just means you’re just the most depressed dude in the room. Like bro it’s a human
In a twist of irony, the frozen embryo killed it!
It may be the only entity they couldn't charge with murder.
@@DebNKYYou do understand the legal definition of murder right? And that there are multiple degrees of it, right? And that we also have a term called manslaughter, right?
rong!
Try freezing a baby and then decide if a frozen embryo is the same as a baby.
That's pretty much the best description for this mess!
That argument falls apart with the right technology (which hasn't been invented yet, maybe can't be). The better argument is simply, how is it a human being when without intervention it'll just die and rot? An unborn child in the womb is one thing, this? this is absurd as texas forcing a woman to give birth to a baby that has no chance in surviving and will harm the mother to try.
😮
Bingo!
Sounds like a good middle school science project!
“Colin Jost assaults an embryo.” 🤣🤣🤣
I see Sarah Sherman is writing for younger cast-mates...
The State Bureau of Investigations for the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency has opened a case file on Colin Jost.
@alifloydtv she 100% had something to do with this sketch 😂
caught on camera: white male practicing child abuse
So can you claim child support from time of conception?
Yes, except by that time you'll be arrested for murder after you conceived and it failed to implant in the uterus.
Yes if they have fertilized with a sperm cell. This has been legal for decades
What a ridiculous question. That might actually help a woman, so of course not.
@@yohei72 every abolitionist I’ve met has agreed with this. At least THEY are consistent. I’m embarrassed of us.
And pregnant women can’t be jailed unless the fetus is declared guilty as well otherwise it’s unconstitutional
We live in the best and worst timeline simultaneously.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
@@Vero.does.better ua-cam.com/video/9uYhIiW6lok/v-deo.htmlsi=BY9KWohn1pRN648C
😂
Wow. Yeah, to be consistent, they’d have to charge one twin embryo with the murder of an absorbed twin….
😂😂😂
Excellent analysis!
Yes because that would be two humans or two unique DNA’s. So yes two humans were murdered.
Temporarily insanity defense
Then tried as an adult.
What I wanna know is, can I now claim these embryos on my taxes?? Cause if so freezing embryos is officially the new side hustle...
Ladies you know what to do. Vote 💙.
And bring someone with you.❤
🧢🧢🧢
🌊💙🌊💙🌊💙
Yep, vote ♥️
Travel back in time, visit Alabama today..
@billyk... - Ouch! Sad, but true. >_
Would not degrade myself stepping foot in that backwater state.
Why?
I guarantee where I live in Alabama is way nicer of an area than you will ever live in your entire life. Brainwashed liberal elitists
It's only one hour's difference from NY.
To all the guys, you got to start paying child support now!😂
Only if the egg is fertilized, creating a human embryo, or human, or homosapian. This required sperm and an egg, creating a unique DNA pallet, a human, or a person, or however you would call it, but the answer is B. human.
@@JakeyD23weak semantics.
A fetus doesn't become a living life until it obtains consciousness by developing a brain, this commonly happens between the 9th and 13th week.
Which is why abortion bans started at 8 weeks. Basic stuff bud. 👍
@@RepublicansJugglingLs not weak simply English. If it’s not a human embryo that what else could it be? And the belief in a soul or consciousness? Sounds religious. I’m talking just plain facts that can be measured with numbers. No binary. No philosphy. DNA is created at fertilization, creating human embryo, with human DNA, hair color, skin color, etc. The End.
DNA is the only constant to prove life. And interestingly id love more research so we can finally answer the question for real, is sexual orientation a choice? Or genetic? Are you born gay? Or is sex all a choice? If we COULD prove sex is genetic than homosexuality would be considered now a status of health, separate doctors, separate health care plan, based on sex. Now THATS interesting. But arguing dna? We’re like 50 years late for that it’s boring it’s like debating the shape of the earth it’s BORING
@@JakeyD23yea, you're uneducated dude. 😂
Just so you know, my statement is literal scientific fact. Have a doctorate in virology personally, think I know what I'm talking about compared to someone who claims DNA makes a cell a human.
Semen has DNA too.. guess you're 1000x worse by your own logic... 😂😂😂😂😂
If embryos are children then I’d like to claim my future frozen embryos as dependents on taxes. Thank you.
Just so you know: they're cheaper by the dozen...
Embryos are human beings, though. “Children” is just a designation that denotes infancy or toddler stage.
Can I get paid by the state to foster embryos?
@@Shskfjekdnf38587
Tell me dear is a human sperm a "human being" ?? If not WHY ??
Michael Sandel when he was brought before the President's Commission on Bioethics said, "If the embryo lost that accompanies natural procreation were the moral equivalent of infant death," in other words, if the zygote is a person, "then pregnancy would have to be regarded as a public health crisis of epidemic proportions: Alleviating natural embryo loss would be a more urgent moral cause than abortion, in vitro fertilization, and stem cell research combined."
@@Shskfjekdnf38587 human embryos are certainly human, but they're also children.
''child /CHīld/ noun (plural noun: children) a young human being below the age of puberty or below the legal age of majority.''
human embryos are children
GREAT NEWS for Alabama homeowners! If you own a 1 bed/ 1 bath shack, it will now be appraised at 10 million dollars. The courts ruled that tiny shacks are actually enormous mansions that just haven't had beautiful additions put on yet which will allow them to reach their full potential.
This is false and moronic
lol classic democrat logic trying to argue different humans have different value
Ha Ha Ha!!! 😂🤣😂
@@thor1063you can have different values but when something is objectively false your values have nothing to do with it.
@@thehierophant2860 your argument wouldve made any plantation owner proud 👍
“ There is an animal inside you and everyone have seen it ! “
A human being? Heck, they're hardly a human bean.
There's no brain. People have lost their minds over this.
I reckon you wouldn't even be a human bean if you didn't have strong personal feelings about nuke-lear combat. - Major Kong.
Then what is a human embryo?
@@JakeyD23cells with human DNA?
By your logic, a sperm cell is also a person. You murderer.
@@JakeyD23If you can freeze something, and it doesn’t die or react, it’s not alive. An embryo is just that, an embryo. Say for a minute the power goes out, these things have to kept frozen… if they get unfrozen and are no longer viable, do you try the entire fucking staff for accidental manslaughter? Or another example, an embryo absorbs its twin. Do you try a damn baby for homicide once it’s born? Do you try the mother for neglect somehow? *MAKE IT MAKE SENSE* .
This bit was ridiculously stupid and I love it.
By itself, yes: ridiculously stupid
In context of real events that inspired it: on par with the intellectual underpinnings of Alabama's law
That costume is BRILLIANT! I can't stop laughing at him!
It's like considering the batter a cake.
Perfect😊
If you out your cake batter in a Bundt pan in the oven and I opened the oven 5 minutes later and threw the pan in the garbage you tell me “I ruined your cake” tho wouldn’t you?
@@SamWolfson-ms1yb Sam, you be the man, dude 😎
This is one of the best analogies I've seen for the situation
It becomes a cake. If there was no batter, then a cake doesn't exist. You kill an embryo a future life doesn't exist. Like saying an acorn isn't a tree yet it develops into one! Forcing a future life to not exist is so demonic yet you creeps are so evil you don't even see it!
When he said "Sofia Vergara and Danny Devito", why did the captions say "Sofia Vergara and an Oompa Loompa". I'm DEAD.
This is a dress rehearsal version. They did have the live show version of this, but, for some reason, it was taken down and replaced.
The seats on the Megabus 😂😂😂
Solitary confinement:
A jail cell?
No, the *womb* 💀💀
The closed captioning has some different jokes than what was actually said. (Like the CC has him being the love child of Sofia Vergara and an oompa loompa). I wonder if they upload an early version of the script for closed caption purposes.
That's exactly what happened. I have the live show recording.
Danny Devito or a Oompa Loompa. Sorry, can't tell them apart.
i love closed captions. it lets you in on so much you never would have heard or known
This video is from the dress rehearsal. I don't know why they decided to use the dress rehearsal version instead of the live show version, but in the actual live show, Marcello was wearing a flesh-colored shirt instead of a gray one. I think the captions are from the live show, because I remember that Sofia Vergara joke.
also the Sweet Home Alabama song being captioned Roll Tide at the end
MARCELLO IS SO CUTE
You too
If a frozen embryo is is child does the mean my sperm are children are as well, and can I claim all thousands of them as dependents?
Hell, try it. lol
No, but it's not too far of a stretch
That's not how biology works
@@matthewsawczyn6592This is law, and it doesn't care about biology.
You have the wrong order of magnitude. Average sperm count is 20-200 million
So are we paying out life insurance for miscarriages now?
No. You have to wait until 2 weeks after birth for it to be eligible for life insurance.
No surprise that 2 super prisons are being built in Alabama.
Just have a frozen embryo in your car and drive in the Car Pool lane in Alabama. No ticket now for the person driving 🤣😂🤣😂 And get more back on your taxes 🤣😂🤣😂
"A W O M B..."
"I think he'd be delicious" is an amazing joke!
I'm dense this morning and I don't get it
I laughed hard at that one. Didn't see it coming.
@@thoughtsandslayers3917 It has probably already occurred to you after your brain finished waking up, but embryos often absorb other embryos and steal their nutrients, like Pacman.
@@thoughtsandslayers3917 Google it.
@@thoughtsandslayers3917 Sometimes an embryo absorbs its twin.
I’ve always wanted a twin. He sounds delicious. Holy Sacred Host
Demonic
The closed captions say "oompa loompa" instead of Danny Devito. Offensive but hilarious.
Subtitles translated Danny Devito to Oompa Loompa. I love the internet
Wow, seriously the last time I visited Alabama, I thought I was in the Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk and Spock were transported back in time to 19th century America!!!😂🤣😂
Why do you say that?
You sound like you lived under a rock your entire life.
"theres an animal within you and now everyone has seen it" is giving MAJOR John Turturro vibes from Mr. Deeds
Marcello is a true gem, he's so funny!
Pastors in Alabama ask that you bring your frozen embryos to church. You need to start them early in relation the church. Lets pray with the embryos.
The Warren Jeffs of the world are ready to marry our embryos, sight unseen. It's a lovely day.
How do we baptize them without thawing them out?
The embryo look like DOJA CAT 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Overturning Roe vs Wade is just the start ⁉️
Yeah, we know.
Total body control Democracy is under dire threat.
So in Alabama I'm guessing you can use frozen embryos for tax deductions. When the embryos turn 18 they can vote.
Embryo is a stage of human development like fetus, infant, toddler, adolescent, adult.
@@Shskfjekdnf38587
So is a sperm dear but i don't see you protesting that masturabation is actually an act of genocide 🤭🤣
@@Shskfjekdnf38587the 1st person knows that there not asking a real question there making a point Good one might I add 👍
Curious how y'all would feel if an IVF clinic lost your embryo and you had no legal reprocussions
Am I wrong for wanting Marcello to have a delicious twin?
Horrifying
Not at all.
marcello is settling so quickly, his deliveries are perfect
i just simply LOVE Marcello ❤️❤️❤️
I'm waiting for a tax break for anyone that wears a chastity belt.
And people who are infertile.
How about claiming, say, 12 Frozen Embryos as Dependents on your 1040 Tax Form?
After all, the SCOA (Supreme Court Of Alabama) said they are "children"!
Nice Barry Noho Hank cosplay!
love barry!
That was one of the best skits in a while.
it was the ONLY good skit for a Long Time
Insanity. See you in Roevember 💙💙
GOLDEN SNL!
Alabama, leading us back to the 1850s.
How so exactly?
@@Shskfjekdnf38587they don’t know. They’re bots.
Marcello is my fav lmao, marcello the embryo lol
Every embryo is sacred
Every embryo is great
If an embryo is wasted
god gets quite irate
Every embryo is sacred
Every embryo is good
Every embryo is needed
In your neighborhood
Thank you, I've had this song in my head.
😂
Colin's slap and reaction at 3:07 is probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen him do
So… can u claim an embryo as a dependent for taxes?
This sketch was 10/10 👌
i feel like this sketch would've been funnier if they just had a petri dish as the guest, asked it questions, and then just started getting more panicky why it wasn't responding, then start screaming at it, then screaming at each other accusing each other of aborting it, and yea. Sometimes I think the current SNL explains the jokes too much today.
Sounds like a whole different skit. Write it out. Who knows??
You're describing a lot of dead air (waiting for non-talking thing to respond). Total snoozefest
A new star is "born" from this sketch
Outstanding!
The SCOTUS-type acronym for Alabama's supreme court is SCOAL, which is pronounced the same as Skoal, a long-standing US chewing/dipping tobacco brand... coincidence? I think not!
This was absolutely funny.
Marcello was good but just imagine if Sherman had been let loose with this.
Given the stakes involved, I'm glad it was just the boys on this one.
oh god that would have been incredible
This character can come back, with Marcello, Sarah, and Bowen as embryos duking it out in a baster.
@@zoyadulzura7490 that would make my year
Keep it real backward Alabama!
Keep them fence jumpers out of your bedroom windows…..
@@clayfree7428Mee Maw!!
Don’t forget to claim your embryos and sperm as dependents on tour taxes.
But a sperm and an embryo are not the same thing. Do you not know what an embryo is?
What is it about these right wing Christian fundamentalist judges?
“ Wished I lacked critical thinking skills, y’all seem so happy!”
This is the best snl skit I’ve seen in a long time.
This was surprisingly good
Just when you think life could not get any more stupid in this banana republic of a country . . . it does.
One of the BEST of modern SNLs. 21 Savage slayed, so beautiful, Bowen Chang, I could watch him for hours, he’s Hilarious.
Such a Great cast, Thank you, Lorne
Young women, run from Alabama
This is just so not funny at all. SNL has gotten so bad
So they are keeping people and selling them in Alabama again now?
Not funny.. 😐
When all of the writer's room all says "We have to do something about THIS" - you know it's going to be lame.
This is not funny AT ALL!!
sad that we have to make fun of it to not cry about it......
Marcelo is amazing and is clearly set to be the front player just like Bowen. So there IS hope for SNL
This skit raises an important question. If one fetus eats their twin in the womb, should they be imprisoned for cannibalism and murder?
I mean, the US has executed kids…..
That was bloody hilarious!!!! 😂 😂
These captions are ridiculously funny. When he said Danny Devito the caption read "Oompa Loompa"...
😂😂😂😂 love Marcello👏🏼👏🏼
That nicotine pouch joke is too real lol!
GAWD-DAMN! This made me laugh hard at work
To be fair, if you took a single cell from an embryo/fetus, and one from an adult, and looked at them under a microscope, they would both be identified as “human tissue”.
The real question people are now asking is not “humanity”, it’s “personhood”.
Trye, but no one’s doubting that. But that cell from an adult human still isn’t human. It’s just a tiny bit. It certainly can’t function as a full human, isn’t viable for cannot sustain life.
How can a human not also be a person? That’s the same argument as the slave masters and the Nazis.
@@toritori5835No one is arguing that a human cell is equivalent to a human being. 😂 But it is human.
@@Shskfjekdnf38587
Well, there’s lots of different arguments that people use to determine when life begins. Some people say that it’s not alive until it breathes on its own. Critics of that belief will ask you if a person on a respirator is a human. It’s a complicated issue with a lot of feelings involved, and I have my own opinions on it as well.
@@daveman4321It Is very
complicated is a dog not a dog
until It barks? Two "geniuses",
a man and a woman, gave
lectures claiming any reason
for terminating a pregnancy
(economic or end of an affair)
should extend after birth.They
called It post-natal abortion.
Infanticide sounds corny, how
about " Herod procedure"?
Marcello rocks here 😂
I laugh to keep from weeping
Not a single laugh 😑 Wish the glory days of SNL would come back. Bring back the humor!
And Oklahoma is saying ‘hold my beer’, ranking 48 th in child well-being and 50th in education
UA-cam captions: "based on my accent and size, I'm going to guess Sofia Vergara and an Oompa Loompa" 😂
Marcello is so damn funny!
I love him so much.
Can I put an embryo in my tax return as a dependent?