@@NickSmith-dn7uh Life is about decisions. The lack of decision is a decision. That woe is me mocking tone of your comment won't get you anywhere. So yes, choose action and be consistent so you can be strong. Strong is a good thing to be in this world we live in because if you are weak you are a victim. Best of luck Nick.
@clockwork365 What's missing in your comments is the source of strength. Strength doesn't come from a vacuum. That's the problem with just saying "be brave."
I thought the main reason you moved to California was to be with your fiance, so I suggest you get to know him a lot better and then worry about finding friends. The friends will come when you are there longer. I'm not sure how long you have been in California but I believe you have not been there that long. I really think you should have given more thought before you moved across country but now that you made the move you need to lean on your fiance for love and support.
It's possible the fiance thing was just to get away from the parents. Kind of like how women in a poopy country will feign interest in an American male to get out of there.
I respect you for overcoming your fears and anxiety to even go to California. I wouldn't have been able to what you did. I live in London and rarely go out of London. So hats off to you for taking such a brave and big step. It couldn't have been easy but you persevered and you will have success. You've proved you're a fighter and will go after what you want and get it. You've come a long way from the first video I saw when you felt unsuccessful. Think how much you could achieve in a year. You've got this👍
how you think of your insecurities and problems is completely valid, most of self perception is from opinions of others, for myself that created an inner critique in myself, awareness helped me with that.
I don't look at strangers anymore I just keep my head down when I'm out and about. When I see happy people or people more attractive than me it ruins my entire day.
Oooof! I’m Hispanic but I went through this in college. I felt so out of place and had to learn how to navigate through it. Like you I have a ton on social anxiety so it’s hard for me to make friends. Currently all my friends are from work but I wish I could make friends with people out of work. I wish you luck as you work through this! 💕💕
I’ve always felt insecure myself because of either being lame or not having an extravagant life, but I came to accept the fact to be comfortable with myself most of the time. The less friends the less BS that comes with the package, you’ll meet the right people just being yourself and giving yourself time.
I once had a networth over 1 million. I don't know if that was classified as financially wealthy, but I wasn't very good at it. I dressed average, no jewelry, etc. I even drove a simple car, Toyota. I made bad business choices and took risk on people that let me down. You shouldn't feel the way you do when you get around those kind of people. They have a unhealthy mentality about life. Most are superficial and out of touch with people and the earth. One thing I am happy about is I didn't let the money go to my head. Sometimes I found it to be a curse to have that much money. Good nature and friendly people make me happy. If I am around those kind of people, then I feel more blessed than any financially wealthy person. The way I see it we are here to grow spiritually, not to gain worldly things and try to be center of attention, etc. Keep trying to be real and be a kind soul.
I moved from Chicago to Tennessee early this year. I had spent my entire life in Chicago prior to moving, thus I quite literally left everything and everyone I know behind. There have been times when that has gotten to me, feelings alone and/or lonely due to now being somewhere where everyone is a stranger. Honestly though, it really has not been as big of an issue as I would have expected it to be. I've come to get along and make friends with some people at my work, and I likewise still talk to my friends and family back home (even though it's virtually). I would recommend just trying not to think much about it. Just because you have moved doesn't mean you need to give up on who you are, or that you need to force yourself to socialise and make new friends. You will naturally get along and become friends with new people over time, just like you did back home.
I think you're doing extremely well considering where you were a few months ago. Take your time and try to find friends that are supportive. Telling your story is helping so many other people that are in similar situations.
That's like trying to power up a device by plugging it into itself. Contentment can't come from oneself. It did, people would never be with each other.
I have hundreds of acquaintances that I like , but I have few friends that I can count on one hand . You only need one good friend and through them sometimes another can pop in. Trust me that’s all you need and want. Be patient, be yourself.
I’m really happy for you and I know you are finding comfort in California slowly but surely. This isn’t anything I would ever do in my life and I’m 34 now but you got more balls than I do 😂. Stay safe.
I only one childhood best friend since I was a kid. Back in my hometown of Winnetka, IL it's mostly whites in my area but if you go to Evanston, IL you would see more diversity of culture. My hubsand grew up in the inner city Southside of Chicago. He is very street smart and i learn from him. I'm white and he's black and i enjoy my relationship with him since he's my first love, we met on a dating site. We was called racist names but we continue to stay together. I'm deaf and he's a hearing person. Thank you for sharing your testimony and experience on this platform. New subscriber.
Thanks for your story, it's interesting to hear. As a 43 year old, it seems like my main outlet for making friends that last decade or so has ben work. After college there were a few years that I stayed in touch with the friends I grew up with but time drifted us all apart which is where you might be now since you seem younger. Maybe you can find a place you like to go that would have people that hold similar interests as you? I used to go to a bar/arcade a lot when one opened in my town and play arcade games and that was a time I could be social with other ppl during a time when I felt like I needed more social interaction. It worked out great for me since I have always enjoyed retro games from the 80s and 90s. Good luck in your journey !
Don’t feel bad. I need friends, too, and I have social anxiety, too. If I lived in California, we could be friends!! But, I live in Western Arizona My best advice is to look for events happening in your local community, and go to the ones that interest you! Then, be bold, reach out to people, and tell them you’re new in the area! I know it’s easier said than done. I’ve gone to events in my city, but I’ve never attempted to make friends at them. It’s a good way to meet people with similar interests to you, though. 🙂
I really understand that feeling because I also have really bad social anxiety, and I overthink about a lot of things sometimes and It’s hard for me to control it. I would be your friend ❤️ I wish you luck, hopefully everything will be okay for you! 😊
Its normal to be feeling those things when moving to a new place. It's a big shock and can take time to adjust. It can feel isolating and it can take a while to settle down and feel comfortable. Don't worry about 'fitting in', stop living your life for other people and just be yourself. Throw all of your energy into your new life with your fiance, random strangers and societal expectations don't matter. Don't let it get in the way of enjoying your life 😊 Learning to be happy in your own company rather than relying on other people is far more invaluable than making new friends. Friends might come with time, but perhaps it's better to focus on yourself and your new relationship for a while. In my experience friends are truly over-rated, and true friends are hard to come by. Don't put too much pressure on yourself...just enjoy the good things in your life.
I used to feel that way walking through high-end stores. I also felt out of place moving from PA to the East Coast, but I eventually got used to living alone with no family or friends nearby. Try to find the things that make you happy other than people.
WOW, welcome to California. You have all the answers to manage day to day, give yourself more time to adjust. I never made a move like you did , however I just call it hills & valleys, good days & bad days. Be patient, if you want. Everyone is going through something. It's wise to get away from a threatening situation, if possible, don't feel bad about that. Do something nice for someone else. Think of more positive things, that bring a smile. Right now, I'm thinking about your pic of the stuffed bear with the muffler, I hope that makes you smile.
We all came from the same place and we are all heading back to where we came from, good job on walking away, what your back though, sounds like that guy was mental.
No, just a standard blame gaming loser that feels entitled to whats not his - feels his status comes from identity, instead of his merits, character, accomplishments. Instead of working on himself, he chose the mentally lazy way- blame someone else. He's indoctrinated in destructive, failed, Woke stupidity the perfect ideology for those too lazy to try. Based but true. What would actually happen if whitey disappeared would be civilizational collapse and dufus ran gangland, not paradise.
I'm so sorry that happened to you guys at the store... You guys seem like decent people and I highly doubt you did anything to provoke that. That guy just needed a reason to project HIS insecurities and frustrations. Don't worry about not fitting in with the "rich" either. I can tell that you are a good person with good morals from the way you carry yourself, and that is something that money CAN NOT buy. Be proud of that. Keep your head up. 🫂
I hope you get used to it friends will come but your fiancée will be your closest friend and partner. Work on getting yourself settled in familiar with local areas. Build yourself a new life
Don't be sad. You are brave, you came to California alone. You made a start. And now you are with your love) He will support you. Friends will appear with time. Sending you love and hugs)❤❤❤🫂🫂🫂
Hi, the USA is so huge , different people,different areas, different behavior.....i dont live in the USA, im from far Israel, totally understand you, i would be happy to be your friend, but im 15 hours flight away, hope your fiance is supporting you ,pleaze dont pay attention to material things like clothes, jewelry...its nothing, connected to the soul,the good heart, friends or i should say true friends are: Animals, and im not kidding, my cats are my best friends , human friends i have very few , 1 from school that we are stay in touch , but i think you should try to find your favorite places maybe favorite coffee ☕️house and go there regularly and maybe there youll get a chance to meet nice positive good vibes people ❤
If one will have 1 actual friend for a shorter or longer period în life... then one is rich. Meet new people and learn from the experiences. Someone said that good people provide great Memories and bad ones valuable lessons Life în your 20s is different then when you're 30s and so on. Getting mature and sometimes more wiser, as time passes by There will be good days and bad days. The order varies, always unpredictable "Write" your life, one chapter at the time. Enjoy the small things, what is around you already, focus on what "it can be" too (helps us grow) but don't get obsessed of it and forget of whatever is already present. Enjoy the moment, ponder and ask questions but don't overthink. PS:Thank you for the clips with the Mall and Pluto😊
A move to any new city can be ovetwhelming. I know that people in LA can be very intolerant towards newcomers. The first thing to do before you move is to get a fix on the various neighborhoods. I am from NYC and have steered many potential transplants away from areas to avoid. For example, never tell you that off campus apartments can be in drug infested areas "convenient" to campus. You will make friends if you give yourself a chance. You are attractive. Use that to your advantage.
8:09 I never belong anywhere I go. At restaurants, the people who work their usually don't say hello or come back or goodbye. I go into stores, and they look at me like Im stealing. I hate going to these places, but I hate just sitting at home.
my friend Vanessa moved to small town oregon, from phillapines 6 years ago. no friends except coworkers. her coworker said we would get along. we do! she is a square by american terms, doesnt drink, doesnt date, doesnt eat any junk food ect. very healthy and thats ok. only problem is she is very judgemental of those who do. we go to the gym together. my other gym buddy and his girlfriend invited us over to watch UFC, she comes. he made a whiskey sour for me and him. only had 2 drinks and that was it. had food. watched the fights and drinks wore off. and she was very focused on the fact that a man who owns a home in his 30s had a cocktail while his 11 year old son saw. maybe she is afraid of peer pressure? but after offering a drink and she politely declined, she was not asked again. and after that we hung out again and she had brought up how bad that is... I tried to explain that when in a new area you have to adapt to the culture. yes drinking in excess is bad. but here we have summer cookouts and have beers, or during thanksgiving dinner will have champgane. she did nothing wrong, but in order to fit in and make friends, you dont have to do the same things as them, but be understanding that there are many people not like you and its ok.
4:10 This is what happens when you have a group of people who keep pushing the idea to other groups that one group is responsible for all of their problems.
I'm sorry you and your fiance had to experience that! You have to remember people who have a problem with you is a reveal on their own inner turmoil. Sounds like that person has anger issues, it's not normal behavior to randomly attack others who are just minding there own business. Also you made a big life change it's understandable you feel insecure and vulnerable plus a bit of culture shock. Making friends is important 2 best places to make friends school and work, maybe get a part time job that's close to home for now. There a girl I've been watching called Erika R, she recently moved to California and just started a channel, she made many videos just complaining about her life, also saying she needed friends...maybe you can reach out to her? She also didn't know what to make her yt chan about, she did baking, gardening, etc she finally decided cars but has not posted in a month since the change...she seems rather lost.
Maybe it would be helpful to remember that these 'rich' people all eat, sleep and poop the same as you. There is nothing inherently special about them. Sooner or later you'll come to a point in your life where you will stop caring about what others think or how they perceive you. It's quite a liberating experience. 👍🏻🙂
Trying to fit in wont make you happy, finding where you fit will. Lifes too short to spend it being someone you're not or being somewhere you dont feel safe and comfortable! Maybe think about taking some college classes, something to work toward and focus on!! Worried about you and your mental health/wellness!!!
It is not your responsibility to make others happy. You be the best YOU, you can be, education wise & learn to become strong for YOU. You have already identified things to work on, so you're on your way to improve. Don't let the fla$hy California vibe get to you. You were used to a much more modest life, which is more meaningful in the long run. Don't let them drag you down to their level.
I'm sorry you're feeling pain with respect to feeling lonely. There is a great amount of inner peace one can receive by having no friends. It is good to have family around. You should reach out to them if you haven't already, and let them know you love them and miss them. Regarding friends, depending on your definition of it, they're very difficult to find. From *MY OWN EXPERIENCE,* friends suck. Parasites. Literally. And they don't reciprocate ANYTHING. Angry, entitled, racist people will always lash out at others because they think the whole world is racist. It is best to just ignore them. But don't let them ruin your day because they just don't know any better. ☕
Not sure where you're at. I live in south orange county. I would hang out. I don't have anyone to hang out with either. I mostly just go to the movies by myself a lot
Join a martial arts Gym trust me many people including me got through this am not fitting phase with martial arts try a session you'll like it inshallah
You are a kind and sensitive person. Honest, trustworthy and growing. Church friends can be likewise. High quality, sincere and helpful. If you have time, consider volunteering. Tutor English as a second language. Help at a food bank. You will feel more a part of your community. You have a smart, professional appearance. Look for jobs in Personnel Departments. They will teach you what you need to know. State and county positions offer great benefits and good career paths. One of the best qualities a person can have is to ask for help when you need it. Contact a state employment office. They will connect you with job openings.. You might qualify for unemployment $ while you look for work. Work is a great way to make new friends and get comfortable with other races and nationalities. As for the weirdo at the grocery store, that is unnerving. I once met an angry, aggressive Vegas in downtown Seattle. We have people with mental health issues everywhere. Just be nice and show them there is a better way to behave. A smile can work wonders. 😁 Your UA-cam family believes in you!
@iexist7408 Really ? You forgot. Well, you"ve been busy. Not that long ago, you were excited at the time. Search the place location. You wanted to go. Does that state or a Discord invite jog the memory ? I had a diff. user name, is probably the confusion point. You invited me. Up to you if you need a platonic friend. Better chat elsewhere than here, you know. Invite me to whichever chat.
Former Californian here. Try surfing, the yoga crowd or the mall to hang out with white people.😂 As a Catholic I'd say the church you pick also dictates what group of people you meet and you shouldn't let the yoga crowd bully your values away from you. But don't spend too much time at church either. As for looking at people, that guy was nuts, but as a former Boston Bostonian I know not to stare down a stranger unless you have business with them.
find a hobby to get passionate about like coloring or maybe collecting something or even gaming. Magic the Gathering is a good table top game you and your fiancé could learn together and possibly make new friends playing at places like comic shops or a book store. You have made some really big moves since I first came across your channel I'm wishing you guys the best. As an after thought you could start a discord to talk to your viewers and maybe that could help you not feel so lonely.
just say you watch fox news and haven’t actually been to california😂 it’s great. believe it or not the state is fucking huge and more than just downtown LA
@@rockyrojas88 exactly, just depends entirely on where you live. More expensive areas will typically have less crime. Where I live currently in orange county it is probably one of the safest places you can be. Again it’s all dependent on what area you are in. There are crime ridden areas, but that’s like basically any other state in the US
A couple thoughts: We are all broken. We're all insecure. All of us. It's just part of being a human-being. There's no need to fit in. Just be yourself. Trust me, you'll be much happier. No diversity? I would argue you live in one of the most diverse states in the Union. On the guy that berated you. Clearly he has mental issues and trying to reason with somebody like that is like trying to squeeze water out of a rock. Finally, Southern California specifically La is driven by Fame and personality. So you will see people walking around that have had plastic surgery, expensive and wild clothing simply because they're trying to make it in show Business. Have you tried Northern California? Somewhere like the Bay area or Sacramento It's probably more of your thing.
Is your fiancé sociable? Hey, if you can at least make only one friend, that's an accomplishment to me! I'm in my late 30s and I honestly only have one real friend and I love her like a sister. We met at work and we just clicked. It may happen to you too, you never know! Btw, she's South Korean and I'm Hispanic! Still love her tho!
Maybe start by finding a hobby and finding like-minded individuals to share it with. It's great you have your fiancé but you don't want him to be the only you have to talk to about things. Maybe start learning an instrument, maybe try a writing class (I'm sure you'd have a lot of experiences people would like to read about), anything at all. Also, I don't want to sound prejudiced but I think most can guess what that man looked like since the media - especially in California - reinforces a victim mentality in certain people, whilst simultaneously blaming white people for _everything._
There are always idiots around who behave like children, this person just took his resentment and loaded it all up to you. Your youtube can make you much more moeny when you work on it. Think about what hobbies you like and try to find the social club around something like that. Getting friends older in new place is hard. It also just takes time. Oh also, find out some camping trip maybe where you and your boy could go to.. specially if the people joining to it, could be people from near by... that way you could find new people that live near you and connect. Well with SA you need to really force it I guess, but try to trust your guy with you and work on it. Try not to compare how people look, and focus rather more what they are sayng and what they like. Most people never think about as judging as thought. Also, specially because you are in a so new place, for sure buy a pepperspray and wear it always with you. Maybe even test it out or watch some usages to actually know the usage. BUT dont focus on fear. Safety is very relevant, but with fear its hard to overcome anything. As Ive said before - I believe you can do much more than you think.
@ well, this post is about how hard it has been to make new friends, so I feel in this situation that the qualifier “good” isn’t part of the equation at the moment and therefore at this time is unnecessary. But I feel you in general.
I see two issues here’s , first a sense of belonging you become a minority here just as someone from west going to east coast, culture and speed of thinking is different; second is the hard working class people stable with family they do not care for friends and tends to be avoidance even at work; the trouble maker are the gossiper and outgoing maybe too much free time
Depression reels in your awareness from the present moment and makes you start internalising things. You need to work on that because you're in a really fantastic place in your life right now. Having a fiance or partner isn't going to magically fix your depression and anxiety. I thought that when I got married, it eventually ruined the marriage because I was expecting all the hurt to go away. Don't let old thought processes spoil it for you. There's only one race, the human race. Ignore racist people, they don't represent all people of their skin colour, and try not to let it turn you into the same bitter racist as them.
I've lived in both LA and San francisco and it takes time to fit in. That man sounded like a Trump hater that still can't get over a republican winning.
It is normal to be friends with people like you--and that includes people of your race. You will meet a lot of white people in Southern California (some will be kooky and some will be users, so welcome to California), but like everything it just takes time.
Why are you going to expensive stores if you feel uncomfortable around the clientele that goes there? I would just not go to those places if it made me feel inadequate. Since you seem to enjoy nature, I'd join some local hiking clubs/organizations.
You said exactly what you need to do, just keep being brave. We have to do the thing we are scared to do or else we'll be stuck. You'll find your way
Yeah. Just be brave. Just do it. Seize the day, Go for it. Make a move. Jump in.
Life is so simple.
@@NickSmith-dn7uh Life is about decisions. The lack of decision is a decision. That woe is me mocking tone of your comment won't get you anywhere. So yes, choose action and be consistent so you can be strong. Strong is a good thing to be in this world we live in because if you are weak you are a victim. Best of luck Nick.
@clockwork365 What's missing in your comments is the source of strength. Strength doesn't come from a vacuum. That's the problem with just saying "be brave."
I have been straight binging this channel.
I thought the main reason you moved to California was to be with your fiance, so I suggest you get to know him a lot better and then worry about finding friends. The friends will come when you are there longer. I'm not sure how long you have been in California but I believe you have not been there that long. I really think you should have given more thought before you moved across country but now that you made the move you need to lean on your fiance for love and support.
It's possible the fiance thing was just to get away from the parents. Kind of like how women in a poopy country will feign interest in an American male to get out of there.
I respect you for overcoming your fears and anxiety to even go to California. I wouldn't have been able to what you did. I live in London and rarely go out of London. So hats off to you for taking such a brave and big step. It couldn't have been easy but you persevered and you will have success. You've proved you're a fighter and will go after what you want and get it. You've come a long way from the first video I saw when you felt unsuccessful. Think how much you could achieve in a year. You've got this👍
how you think of your insecurities and problems is completely valid, most of self perception is from opinions of others, for myself that created an inner critique in myself, awareness helped me with that.
I don't look at strangers anymore I just keep my head down when I'm out and about. When I see happy people or people more attractive than me it ruins my entire day.
Wow same
Got to love 😘 yourself.. your beautiful in your own way..
i want to understand why people feel this way
This is the weirdest channel I'm addicted to.
some people have aura and i think she has it
its like watching a trainwreck. Its awful but you cant look away
This channel only got good after she got engaged. Now we all want to see the trainwreck 🤣
I hate watch this channel, I was roasting this woman on discord long before she was getting millions of veiws on UA-cam
This girl is deluded.
Oooof! I’m Hispanic but I went through this in college. I felt so out of place and had to learn how to navigate through it. Like you I have a ton on social anxiety so it’s hard for me to make friends. Currently all my friends are from work but I wish I could make friends with people out of work.
I wish you luck as you work through this! 💕💕
I’ve always felt insecure myself because of either being lame or not having an extravagant life, but I came to accept the fact to be comfortable with myself most of the time. The less friends the less BS that comes with the package, you’ll meet the right people just being yourself and giving yourself time.
I once had a networth over 1 million. I don't know if that was classified as financially wealthy, but I wasn't very good at it. I dressed average, no jewelry, etc. I even drove a simple car, Toyota. I made bad business choices and took risk on people that let me down.
You shouldn't feel the way you do when you get around those kind of people. They have a unhealthy mentality about life. Most are superficial and out of touch with people and the earth.
One thing I am happy about is I didn't let the money go to my head. Sometimes I found it to be a curse to have that much money. Good nature and friendly people make me happy. If I am around those kind of people, then I feel more blessed than any financially wealthy person. The way I see it we are here to grow spiritually, not to gain worldly things and try to be center of attention, etc.
Keep trying to be real and be a kind soul.
I moved from Chicago to Tennessee early this year. I had spent my entire life in Chicago prior to moving, thus I quite literally left everything and everyone I know behind. There have been times when that has gotten to me, feelings alone and/or lonely due to now being somewhere where everyone is a stranger. Honestly though, it really has not been as big of an issue as I would have expected it to be. I've come to get along and make friends with some people at my work, and I likewise still talk to my friends and family back home (even though it's virtually). I would recommend just trying not to think much about it. Just because you have moved doesn't mean you need to give up on who you are, or that you need to force yourself to socialise and make new friends. You will naturally get along and become friends with new people over time, just like you did back home.
I think you're doing extremely well considering where you were a few months ago. Take your time and try to find friends that are supportive. Telling your story is helping so many other people that are in similar situations.
Change how you perceive reality. What you see on the surface of society is not the underlying culture of mankind.
You must take the red pill.
I wish you the best. Every time I watch one of your videos, I'm touched by your honesty (with yourself) and authenticity.
Learn to be content with your own company- it’s a great skill that can help throughout your lifetime
That's like trying to power up a device by plugging it into itself. Contentment can't come from oneself. It did, people would never be with each other.
I have hundreds of acquaintances that I like , but I have few friends that I can count on one hand . You only need one good friend and through them sometimes another can pop in. Trust me that’s all you need and want. Be patient, be yourself.
I’m really happy for you and I know you are finding comfort in California slowly but surely. This isn’t anything I would ever do in my life and I’m 34 now but you got more balls than I do 😂. Stay safe.
I only one childhood best friend since I was a kid. Back in my hometown of Winnetka, IL it's mostly whites in my area but if you go to Evanston, IL you would see more diversity of culture. My hubsand grew up in the inner city Southside of Chicago. He is very street smart and i learn from him. I'm white and he's black and i enjoy my relationship with him since he's my first love, we met on a dating site. We was called racist names but we continue to stay together. I'm deaf and he's a hearing person. Thank you for sharing your testimony and experience on this platform. New subscriber.
@@EmilyW-2000 thanks for sharing and subscribing. I’m so happy u two are together. That’s beautiful 🤗!
Thanks for your story, it's interesting to hear. As a 43 year old, it seems like my main outlet for making friends that last decade or so has ben work. After college there were a few years that I stayed in touch with the friends I grew up with but time drifted us all apart which is where you might be now since you seem younger.
Maybe you can find a place you like to go that would have people that hold similar interests as you? I used to go to a bar/arcade a lot when one opened in my town and play arcade games and that was a time I could be social with other ppl during a time when I felt like I needed more social interaction. It worked out great for me since I have always enjoyed retro games from the 80s and 90s. Good luck in your journey !
Don’t feel bad. I need friends, too, and I have social anxiety, too.
If I lived in California, we could be friends!! But, I live in Western Arizona
My best advice is to look for events happening in your local community, and go to the ones that interest you! Then, be bold, reach out to people, and tell them you’re new in the area! I know it’s easier said than done. I’ve gone to events in my city, but I’ve never attempted to make friends at them. It’s a good way to meet people with similar interests to you, though. 🙂
I really understand that feeling because I also have really bad social anxiety, and I overthink about a lot of things sometimes and It’s hard for me to control it. I would be your friend ❤️ I wish you luck, hopefully everything will be okay for you! 😊
Its normal to be feeling those things when moving to a new place. It's a big shock and can take time to adjust. It can feel isolating and it can take a while to settle down and feel comfortable. Don't worry about 'fitting in', stop living your life for other people and just be yourself. Throw all of your energy into your new life with your fiance, random strangers and societal expectations don't matter. Don't let it get in the way of enjoying your life 😊 Learning to be happy in your own company rather than relying on other people is far more invaluable than making new friends. Friends might come with time, but perhaps it's better to focus on yourself and your new relationship for a while. In my experience friends are truly over-rated, and true friends are hard to come by. Don't put too much pressure on yourself...just enjoy the good things in your life.
I used to feel that way walking through high-end stores. I also felt out of place moving from PA to the East Coast, but I eventually got used to living alone with no family or friends nearby. Try to find the things that make you happy other than people.
WOW, welcome to California. You have all the answers to manage day to day, give yourself more time to adjust. I never made a move like you did , however I just call it hills & valleys, good days & bad days. Be patient, if you want. Everyone is going through something. It's wise to get away from a threatening situation, if possible, don't feel bad about that. Do something nice for someone else. Think of more positive things, that bring a smile. Right now, I'm thinking about your pic of the stuffed bear with the muffler, I hope that makes you smile.
We all came from the same place and we are all heading back to where we came from, good job on walking away, what your back though, sounds like that guy was mental.
No, just a standard blame gaming loser that feels entitled to whats not his - feels his status comes from identity, instead of his merits, character, accomplishments.
Instead of working on himself, he chose the mentally lazy way- blame someone else.
He's indoctrinated in destructive, failed, Woke stupidity the perfect ideology for those too lazy to try. Based but true.
What would actually happen if whitey disappeared would be civilizational collapse and dufus ran gangland, not paradise.
I'm so sorry that happened to you guys at the store... You guys seem like decent people and I highly doubt you did anything to provoke that. That guy just needed a reason to project HIS insecurities and frustrations. Don't worry about not fitting in with the "rich" either. I can tell that you are a good person with good morals from the way you carry yourself, and that is something that money CAN NOT buy. Be proud of that. Keep your head up. 🫂
I had tons of friends but now that I’m older(55) I enjoy my solitude. In fact, I prefer it. Good luck to you though.
“Life happens wherever you are at, whether you try or not.”
..just let the Love in your Heart be Stronger than the Fear in your mind...let that guide your thoughts and actions..
At least you are trying. You can always look back and say “meh, I tried.”
Yep. You wont know if you like or dislike something until you try it (with some obvious exceptions)
I hope you get used to it friends will come but your fiancée will be your closest friend and partner. Work on getting yourself settled in familiar with local areas. Build yourself a new life
Don't be sad. You are brave, you came to California alone. You made a start. And now you are with your love) He will support you. Friends will appear with time. Sending you love and hugs)❤❤❤🫂🫂🫂
Hi, the USA is so huge , different people,different areas, different behavior.....i dont live in the USA, im from far Israel, totally understand you, i would be happy to be your friend, but im 15 hours flight away, hope your fiance is supporting you ,pleaze dont pay attention to material things like clothes, jewelry...its nothing, connected to the soul,the good heart, friends or i should say true friends are: Animals, and im not kidding, my cats are my best friends , human friends i have very few , 1 from school that we are stay in touch , but i think you should try to find your favorite places maybe favorite coffee ☕️house and go there regularly and maybe there youll get a chance to meet nice positive good vibes people ❤
I'm a white dude in Hawaii. I'm usually the only white person in the room. I usually don't even notice it. I love it here.
If one will have 1 actual friend for a shorter or longer period în life... then one is rich.
Meet new people and learn from the experiences. Someone said that good people provide great Memories and bad ones valuable lessons
Life în your 20s is different then when you're 30s and so on. Getting mature and sometimes more wiser, as time passes by
There will be good days and bad days. The order varies, always unpredictable
"Write" your life, one chapter at the time. Enjoy the small things, what is around you already, focus on what "it can be" too (helps us grow) but don't get obsessed of it and forget of whatever is already present. Enjoy the moment, ponder and ask questions but don't overthink.
PS:Thank you for the clips with the Mall and Pluto😊
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊
I wish you the best out there.
A move to any new city can be ovetwhelming. I know that people in LA can be very intolerant towards newcomers.
The first thing to do before you move is to get a fix on the various neighborhoods. I am from NYC and have steered many potential transplants away from areas to avoid. For example, never tell you that off campus apartments can be in drug infested areas "convenient" to campus.
You will make friends if you give yourself a chance. You are attractive. Use that to your advantage.
Bar sports social leagues:
Cornhole
Darts
Ping Pong
drink alcohol or dont, see your team regularly, meet some new people regularly
8:09 I never belong anywhere I go. At restaurants, the people who work their usually don't say hello or come back or goodbye. I go into stores, and they look at me like Im stealing. I hate going to these places, but I hate just sitting at home.
my friend Vanessa moved to small town oregon, from phillapines 6 years ago. no friends except coworkers. her coworker said we would get along. we do! she is a square by american terms, doesnt drink, doesnt date, doesnt eat any junk food ect. very healthy and thats ok. only problem is she is very judgemental of those who do. we go to the gym together. my other gym buddy and his girlfriend invited us over to watch UFC, she comes. he made a whiskey sour for me and him. only had 2 drinks and that was it. had food. watched the fights and drinks wore off. and she was very focused on the fact that a man who owns a home in his 30s had a cocktail while his 11 year old son saw. maybe she is afraid of peer pressure? but after offering a drink and she politely declined, she was not asked again. and after that we hung out again and she had brought up how bad that is... I tried to explain that when in a new area you have to adapt to the culture. yes drinking in excess is bad. but here we have summer cookouts and have beers, or during thanksgiving dinner will have champgane. she did nothing wrong, but in order to fit in and make friends, you dont have to do the same things as them, but be understanding that there are many people not like you and its ok.
They are not rich, they are compensating
4:10 This is what happens when you have a group of people who keep pushing the idea to other groups that one group is responsible for all of their problems.
Water off a duck's back 🦆 💦
Tension is high, tough to be put down (I relate), just keep on swimming.
I'm sorry you and your fiance had to experience that! You have to remember people who have a problem with you is a reveal on their own inner turmoil. Sounds like that person has anger issues, it's not normal behavior to randomly attack others who are just minding there own business.
Also you made a big life change it's understandable you feel insecure and vulnerable plus a bit of culture shock. Making friends is important 2 best places to make friends school and work, maybe get a part time job that's close to home for now.
There a girl I've been watching called Erika R, she recently moved to California and just started a channel, she made many videos just complaining about her life, also saying she needed friends...maybe you can reach out to her?
She also didn't know what to make her yt chan about, she did baking, gardening, etc she finally decided cars but has not posted in a month since the change...she seems rather lost.
Hi i have social anxiety as well and have no friends as well.
You have you tube friends were like a big family
Don't Talk to Strangers 'cause they're only there to do you harm. Don't write in starlight 'cause the words may come out real. ~ Dio (1983)
Maybe it would be helpful to remember that these 'rich' people all eat, sleep and poop the same as you. There is nothing inherently special about them.
Sooner or later you'll come to a point in your life where you will stop caring about what others think or how they perceive you. It's quite a liberating experience. 👍🏻🙂
Why do you want friends when you have a Soulmate that you're married to???
Trying to fit in wont make you happy, finding where you fit will. Lifes too short to spend it being someone you're not or being somewhere you dont feel safe and comfortable! Maybe think about taking some college classes, something to work toward and focus on!! Worried about you and your mental health/wellness!!!
It is not your responsibility to make others happy. You be the best YOU, you can be, education wise & learn to become strong for YOU. You have already identified things to work on, so you're on your way to improve. Don't let the fla$hy California vibe get to you. You were used to a much more modest life, which is more meaningful in the long run. Don't let them drag you down to their level.
I'm sorry you're feeling pain with respect to feeling lonely. There is a great amount of inner peace one can receive by having no friends. It is good to have family around. You should reach out to them if you haven't already, and let them know you love them and miss them.
Regarding friends, depending on your definition of it, they're very difficult to find. From *MY OWN EXPERIENCE,* friends suck. Parasites. Literally. And they don't reciprocate ANYTHING.
Angry, entitled, racist people will always lash out at others because they think the whole world is racist. It is best to just ignore them. But don't let them ruin your day because they just don't know any better.
☕
Asian and Hispanic people are the coolest.to get to know. What part of Cali
Go visit an old folks home, bring them little gifts and you’ll be blessed.
I’m not sure how any sane person could endure living in Cali
The "BF" should be your friend first..
is there no diversity IN CALIFORNIA?
Oh there is, she just happens to be in an area without much white people
Depends...Southern Ca/LA is a melting pot of the rich and poor...all colors, sizes and races.
@rockyrojas88 most of the "white" people there live in the suburbs.
So too much diversity is the problem
I wish I had friends in my life like you
Not sure where you're at. I live in south orange county. I would hang out. I don't have anyone to hang out with either. I mostly just go to the movies by myself a lot
Join a martial arts Gym trust me many people including me got through this am not fitting phase with martial arts try a session you'll like it inshallah
I want to get a hug of you:(
You are a kind and sensitive person. Honest, trustworthy and growing.
Church friends can be likewise. High quality, sincere and helpful.
If you have time, consider volunteering. Tutor English as a second language. Help at a food bank. You will feel more a part of your community.
You have a smart, professional appearance. Look for jobs in Personnel Departments. They will teach you what you need to know. State and county positions offer great benefits and good career paths.
One of the best qualities a person can have is to ask for help when you need it. Contact a state employment office. They will connect you with job openings.. You might qualify for unemployment $ while you look for work.
Work is a great way to make new friends and get comfortable with other races and nationalities.
As for the weirdo at the grocery store, that is unnerving. I once met an angry, aggressive Vegas in downtown Seattle. We have people with mental health issues everywhere. Just be nice and show them there is a better way to behave. A smile can work wonders. 😁
Your UA-cam family believes in you!
Don't be worried about finding friends, just live and be around people and they'll come to you ❤
♫ ♪ *_All the leaves are brown..._* ♫ ♪
people that get offended for just being looked at are what we called in school wannabe gangsters/posers
You have friends. Remember "almost" Kings Island ? Message to chat.
Huh? I’m actually not sure what you’re talking about
@iexist7408 Really ? You forgot. Well, you"ve been busy. Not that long ago, you were excited at the time.
Search the place location. You wanted to go. Does that state or a Discord invite jog the memory ?
I had a diff. user name, is probably the confusion point. You invited me. Up to you if you need a platonic friend.
Better chat elsewhere than here, you know. Invite me to whichever chat.
Former Californian here. Try surfing, the yoga crowd or the mall to hang out with white people.😂
As a Catholic I'd say the church you pick also dictates what group of people you meet and you shouldn't let the yoga crowd bully your values away from you. But don't spend too much time at church either.
As for looking at people, that guy was nuts, but as a former Boston Bostonian I know not to stare down a stranger unless you have business with them.
I am from Salt Lake City, Ut.
find a hobby to get passionate about like coloring or maybe collecting something or even gaming. Magic the Gathering is a good table top game you and your fiancé could learn together and possibly make new friends playing at places like comic shops or a book store. You have made some really big moves since I first came across your channel I'm wishing you guys the best. As an after thought you could start a discord to talk to your viewers and maybe that could help you not feel so lonely.
Why did you move to California? It's one of the worst states in the country. Too expensive, too much crime. Move somewhere better.
You’ve been watching too much fox news lmao. There’s not that much crime here, especially compared to other states
just say you watch fox news and haven’t actually been to california😂 it’s great. believe it or not the state is fucking huge and more than just downtown LA
Dude, crime is typical in big cities where the poor folk live, you act like Cali doesn't have any rural areas for rich folks with less crime
@@rockyrojas88 exactly, just depends entirely on where you live. More expensive areas will typically have less crime. Where I live currently in orange county it is probably one of the safest places you can be. Again it’s all dependent on what area you are in. There are crime ridden areas, but that’s like basically any other state in the US
If you really want friends try talking to people directly, you won't get them just by recording videos.
I’m desperately hoping you reach out to me or professional help. I am beginning to become very concerned.
A couple thoughts:
We are all broken. We're all insecure. All of us. It's just part of being a human-being.
There's no need to fit in. Just be yourself. Trust me, you'll be much happier.
No diversity? I would argue you live in one of the most diverse states in the Union.
On the guy that berated you. Clearly he has mental issues and trying to reason with somebody like that is like trying to squeeze water out of a rock.
Finally, Southern California specifically La is driven by Fame and personality. So you will see people walking around that have had plastic surgery, expensive and wild clothing simply because they're trying to make it in show Business.
Have you tried Northern California? Somewhere like the Bay area or Sacramento It's probably more of your thing.
Is your fiancé sociable? Hey, if you can at least make only one friend, that's an accomplishment to me! I'm in my late 30s and I honestly only have one real friend and I love her like a sister. We met at work and we just clicked. It may happen to you too, you never know! Btw, she's South Korean and I'm Hispanic! Still love her tho!
If you need friends hit me up, I need friends too and I’m in Cali
Maybe start by finding a hobby and finding like-minded individuals to share it with. It's great you have your fiancé but you don't want him to be the only you have to talk to about things.
Maybe start learning an instrument, maybe try a writing class (I'm sure you'd have a lot of experiences people would like to read about), anything at all.
Also, I don't want to sound prejudiced but I think most can guess what that man looked like since the media - especially in California - reinforces a victim mentality in certain people, whilst simultaneously blaming white people for _everything._
There are always idiots around who behave like children, this person just took his resentment and loaded it all up to you. Your youtube can make you much more moeny when you work on it. Think about what hobbies you like and try to find the social club around something like that. Getting friends older in new place is hard. It also just takes time. Oh also, find out some camping trip maybe where you and your boy could go to.. specially if the people joining to it, could be people from near by... that way you could find new people that live near you and connect. Well with SA you need to really force it I guess, but try to trust your guy with you and work on it. Try not to compare how people look, and focus rather more what they are sayng and what they like. Most people never think about as judging as thought. Also, specially because you are in a so new place, for sure buy a pepperspray and wear it always with you. Maybe even test it out or watch some usages to actually know the usage. BUT dont focus on fear. Safety is very relevant, but with fear its hard to overcome anything. As Ive said before - I believe you can do much more than you think.
Who Cares!!!! You Already Have A Fiance and Are Getting Married Stop Complaining about other Social Standards lol 😂😂😂
Friends are overrated anyhow.
I'd definitely disagree. It depends if you have good friends or not.
@ well, this post is about how hard it has been to make new friends, so I feel in this situation that the qualifier “good” isn’t part of the equation at the moment and therefore at this time is unnecessary. But I feel you in general.
I see two issues here’s , first a sense of belonging you become a minority here just as someone from west going to east coast, culture and speed of thinking is different; second is the hard working class people stable with family they do not care for friends and tends to be avoidance even at work; the trouble maker are the gossiper and outgoing maybe too much free time
Alert! Alert! Daniel from HIMR talked about you in his livestream this morning.
@@sahara6197 omg really? Which time mark? I’m watching now
@@sahara6197 never mind, just found it thank you!
how long did you know your fiance before you got engaged?
escapism
Would you like to be my friend,? Because I am always looking for new friends.
@@JohnThomas-du5vc hi John where r u from?
@@iexist7408 I am from Utah, How about you.
You can come to North Carolina and stay with me iwill take care of you❤
Creeeeeeepy
Welcome to Cringefest 24’
I live here I'll be your friend
Depression reels in your awareness from the present moment and makes you start internalising things. You need to work on that because you're in a really fantastic place in your life right now. Having a fiance or partner isn't going to magically fix your depression and anxiety. I thought that when I got married, it eventually ruined the marriage because I was expecting all the hurt to go away. Don't let old thought processes spoil it for you. There's only one race, the human race. Ignore racist people, they don't represent all people of their skin colour, and try not to let it turn you into the same bitter racist as them.
I've lived in both LA and San francisco and it takes time to fit in. That man sounded like a Trump hater that still can't get over a republican winning.
It takes time
Have you talked with your family lately, maybe you need to connect
Id like to be your friend
be careful waht yuo wihs for,,,,
Hey hit me up. We’ll grab lunch at Sals Subs! I’m here in LA and I have anxiety too! I’ve followed your channel for a few months now. Let’s dooo it!!
It is normal to be friends with people like you--and that includes people of your race. You will meet a lot of white people in Southern California (some will be kooky and some will be users, so welcome to California), but like everything it just takes time.
Maybe find a church to go to.
Good idea
lol
Why are you going to expensive stores if you feel uncomfortable around the clientele that goes there? I would just not go to those places if it made me feel inadequate. Since you seem to enjoy nature, I'd join some local hiking clubs/organizations.
Well if you close to Ontario you let me know, I’m the one that wrote to you and I’m the one from Pa that moved to California
She's in Santa Ana, that's south Cali
@@rockyrojas88Ontario is SoCal too lol
Im white and grew up in so cal it can feel isolated but still great people. Join a playing card club or something to make friends 😊
Hello, I love you, I'm waiting for you ❤
Theres tons of diversity you gotta know where to look. Including tons of white people is south oc lol
Rethink your strategy