'yellow fever' !!!! OMG, I hope those comments stop for you, Uyen. I am in a mixed relationship and have heard that for years. I am an egg (white on the outside and 'yellow' on the inside) LOL, and married a banana (yellow on the outside and white on the inside). Just enjoy each other!!! Twenty years married for us, with two kids. Just enjoy every day! (and Hi from Toronto, you are lovely)
All of them are juvenile and so so silly - you are you and he is he - and yes German men can be very “passionate” but fiancée is delightful - I prefer to see the human before me - that way I get to enjoy who they are and not what I would or others expect them to be ❤❤❤ expectations is the mother of all evil ❤❤ 😊
Screw the trolls! I think you guys are a gorgeous couple!! You guys do what you need to do to be happy in this life, and it looks like you are doing it! I am so happy for you and GB. Being half German/half American, I was raised in a German household so I have a lot of German pride. :-) And right now, I am so embarrassed about our new "President", that orange troll! Oh God, how did this happen?!! We need a President like Angela Merkel was for Germany! Much love to you both, and to your families. :-)
I came back to ask, do you ever hear Asian women, who are older than 30 or so, who are still single, are they ever called "Christmas Fruitcake?" I heard this once, a comedian, I THINK she was Vietnamese too...she said it, that if you are still single, you are not wanted, you are TOO OLD and unwanted, like Christmas Fruitcake! (Not Stollen, but that other kind--that lasts for decades and decades, hahah).
As a white American woman, my college roommate was Japanese and told me about her challenges dating American men. She said she came to America to escape the hierarchical society in Japan and the American men she dated were turned off by the assertiveness of American women and were looking for Asian women because they were seen as more submissive. My roommate wasn’t submissive though, she came to America to escape that. So the relationships didn’t work out. .
@ a lot of times, a Western man’s idea of an agreeable woman is one who agrees to everything he wants without having any inconvenient wants of her own that would require him to make an effort. That woman doesn’t exist, she just pretends to be agreeable to everything he says until she gets tired pretending and then asks for a divorce. For my Japanese roommate, she just had no patience trying to hide what she wanted with men. She preferred just saying what she wanted and ended up with a Japanese man who was also dissatisfied with traditional Japanese life. They’re still married.
@@FrederikEngelmand many Western men see an agreeable woman as one who seems to want everything he wants without having any inconvenient wants of her own that requires him to put in an effort. That woman doesn’t exist; she merely pretends to agree to everything he wants until suddenly she gets tired of it and leaves him. My Japanese roommate got tired of pretending with Western men that she wanted the same things as them and ended up with a Japanese man who was disillusioned with the traditional Japanese lifestyle also. They’re still married.
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Having a man who doesn’t count every penny and instead just trusts you to make the relationship fair is such a good quality. Y’all are a lucky couple ❤❤
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I will never get used to all the stereotypes and projections people have in their mind that distort their vision. As a Turkish woman, as I was dating a Belgian guy, I had to put up with his family warning him about what I could take away from him. I have two master's degrees, speak four languages, lived in three different countries, am a dual citizen already, raised my daughter alone, I am well traveled. What could I take away from this poor guy? I've had people come to me and ask me if I had learned getting dressed like this in Europe and stopped covering my head. I come from a very secular family, at least three generations of women before me in my family did not cover their hair. I have nothing against people choosing to do so, I'm just saying that I don't come from such tradition. At one point, all the constant assumptions become boring and a bit asphyxiating. Some of them, not worth mentioning, were downright insulting, xenophobic and misogynistic. Most of. the time, I can laugh it off, but once in a while you would like things to be simple and people to look at you as the person you are and not someone who represents their fears, strange projections and desperate need to feel superior.
That's a really interesting story! It's so important to get to know someone for who they are, instead of making assumptions, and asking questions based on race, as it sounds judgemental.
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I (American) dated an Indian guy for a bit once. The biggest issue we encountered was the difference in family dynamics. He did not understand at all me trying to put space between me and my parents because they are abusive. To me it made sense to establish boundaries to protect myself, but his idea of how you should treat your parents was very different and in the end he could not deal with the rift between my parents and myself.
That's a shame, but I could see that. I was fortunate enough to date an Indian man who understood being estranged because he saw the pressures and toxic behaviors of some parents.
That's interesting to hear about how other families think of their parents. Once I got older, I realized I didn't have to do things to please my parents, like study what they want, or use my money in a way they would see fit (such as moving out). Sometimes I would just sit there and listen to them speak about their expectations, and smile and nod because I knew that's not what I want. I don't know how other families seem so close with their parents, knowing how much my parents didn't encourage me to do things I loved, or didn't give me freedom to learn from my own mistakes. Just my experience!
Just curious - I wonder if that was really a cultural issue or just came from someone having a very different family experience. Could this also have happened with an American guy from a really close family?
Most Indian children in toxic families live in denial and have internalized the trauma to not recognize the manipulation ongoing for years. Parent worship is very real here. Very very few get out of it willingly but always with repercussions, either from family ( eg barred from inheritance etc) or severe criticism from the society. Not pretty. I think situation has improved a little starting from younger millennial parents. We are more sensitive and open to listening.
@@pb94ghyare you Indian? Just curious cause your pp and name don't sound and I'd like to be better aware of the reason for it if you are Indian. Agree with your points. Even as a millennial Indian who's never seen eye to eye with my parents I've had a hard time finding friends and partners who understand my dynamic with my parents
I was the main earner in my relationship for 17 years (we got together at 18). I supported and paid for my husband to have an academic career and get his phd. Now he is a main income earner and I am a stay at home parent for a while. One day I will go back to work and maybe we will both earn the same for a while. An equal relationship doesn’t always mean both of you share costs equally all the time, it can also mean you take turns to support each other for years at a time. Sometimes people don’t understand that, or they assume that one of us is “freeloading” when that was never the case. We have never kept score over who was supporting who more, and we have never argued about money in the 26 (almost 27) years we have been together now.
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You’re in my Top 3 Favourite Happy Channels on this platform 🥰 You’re a powerful source of positivity (which is so very needed) and you always make me smile and laugh. Thank you for adorably and sensibly sharing your experiences with the world!
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I'm a white American; my wife is from Taiwan. She's an assertive, direct person who does not hesitate to express herself. If I were the sort who expected her to be submissive because she's an Asian woman, uh, I would've been in for a surprise. But that's okay, because I was not looking for that. One thing is that I came from a religious family, where I have an "complicated" relationship to their beliefs; many things I still value a lot, on some other matters I shifted. Oddly enough, marrying someone from a different culture who still has a good set of values made life easier, because she simply does not have the same complicated feelings, and can just accept me and my ambivalence; she's respectful, but puts on me no expectations in that department. If I had married from the same culture who had strong opinions about that - one way or the other - I don't know how I would've resolved it. So I think marrying across cultures in my case actually worked well; it avoided a particular type of "baggage".
... and another thing: my wife had been in the US for more than 15 years when we married. She had successfully navigated the "cross-cultural" situation by that time. It's one thing to have a relationship with someone from another culture; it's another thing have a relationship with someone who has proven that they can navigate both cultures. *That* is a very admirable trait and indicates a lot of positive things about your loved one, in a way that will bless your relationship. German boyfriend should appreciate Uyen a lot because she has proven herself in this way.
Oh that's a really good point. I'm neurodivergent and often find relationships across larger cultural differences easier and I think you just put a pin on one of the reasons why.
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What a great video. I appreciate you being so honest and open making this video. I am Latin and my husband is from India. We never had any problems with our families because to be honest, we are very independent and have always lived our lives the way we wanted to. We have never let either of our cultures come first when it comes to us. We love our families and would do anything for them but we don’t allow any interference or cultural pressure to affect us. This is a big misconception about interracial couples; that being from different cultures will make it so much harder. It comes down to the two people involved. We have no children which in both our cultures is a given but we were very clear from the beginning that we were not going to have children. The key is to communicate clearly and set boundaries from the beginning to avoid problems. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and could not be happier 😊
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Enjoyed this very much. It’s always been very obvious to me that you not only communicate extremely well with each other and the love between you is evident. I can most definitely see you two together forever.
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I love all your slice-of-life, everyday, content Uyen! Not really related to the video, but I wanted to say, I LOVE your cooking videos and would love to see more! Your traditional dishes look so delicious.
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This video is incredibly sweet. However, I am stunned by the unkind comments you mentioned. You and GB have both always seem happy and playful together, I can only suppose that the ugly comments come from people who haven't actually seen your videos. Good luck to you both.
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I appreciate your honesty and transparency! I'm also in an interracial marriage, 29 years now. Everything is based on choices made, coming from a deep love for each other but also we do have a lot in common! I am happy for both of you and wish you all the best! I luv your content ❤
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As someone in a mixed relationship (Colombian x American), I realized that the standards of living are crazily different in each country. So, in many ways, I am wealthy compared to my wife's friends and family in Colombia. Also, obviously the exchange rate plays a factor into their perceptions. "If you're making X million pesos each month, they MUST be wealthy." In reality, we're living an average life since the cost of living is so high where I live. I think you touched on this a few times in this video and in some of your other videos, but I figured I would chime in since I'm coming from the other side of things. Thanks for sharing your experience, btw! It's been great getting more insight into the reality of things
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You are a delight. thank you for making videos. I am going to send this video to my Hong Kong born American German heritage son in law. we are all in Canada.
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This was such a fun video Uyen! I absolutely love how genuine and straightforward you are. I'm not in a mixed relationship but me and my whole family are indian but I was brought up in the UK so I can relate to a lot of the things you say. Its always fun to see the similarities between asian countries and western ones too
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It’s so sweet how you two have a healthy relationship! Glad you made this video debunking bad stereotypes and I’m sorry that people automatically assume this. I also see lots of couples online get really bad comments especially on TikTok.
As a part of a mixed couple myself, I appreciate and love your insights. My husband is Vietnamese and there are many times I have identified with your content. Thank you! ❤❤❤❤
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It seems that you've been a very mature person since an early age. You've made all the right decisions, when considering immigrating to Germany. God has blessed you with a beautiful, sweet man, and He has blessed your boyfriend with a wonderful woman. Together, you are an AMAZING team. Don't listen to negative people's stereotypes. They're just jealous of your EXCEPTIONAL relationship! 🥰 May God continue to bless you two! ♥
15:23 wow, that's an interesting experience. I feel like I can express myself so well in my native tongue, but when I try a foreign language, I struggle. I can't act in a foreign language either, I can't get the emotional nuance. Good for you to find a voice for yourself in English, uyen. Thanks for sharing.
It is also cultural and the ability to find the right words is also dependent on what input we could get, I think words like "boundaries" "being proud of something" doesn't really appear in a lot of east asian languages unfortunately...
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It’s so interesting how many of these stereotypes only apply when one of the partners is white/European. I am also in a mixed couple but we are both from different non-western countries, and now living in a western country.
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You're only with each other because you love each other. 😅 (Couldn't resist the accusation. Lol) Honestly, some people! I'm sorry you have to endure so much ignorance and racism. I don't know how some people can be so mean. I think you're perfect for each other and I wish a happy long life together for you both!❤️
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I'm in a mixed couple as well. French and from the Netherlands. And we still comminucate mostly in English. We did have quite a few fights that just came from misunderstanding what the other means in English. Because both our languages have influenced the English language a lot, and expressions can mean opposite or unrelated things. Luckily, these days we understand each other better and a langauge based miscommunication hardly happens. Also, we're expecthing a baby soon. That we hope to bring up to be trilingual or even polyglot. And so we also expect to learn more of each others langauges in the future. Plus I'll have some time during maternity leave to take lessons.
3:00 this is exactly what developing countries don’t understand. Westerners are not wealthy in their own countries. We’re just average people in our country. Nothing crazy.
21:40 i think it‘s okay to be thankful for everything your parents did/sacrificed for you, I just struggle with the word ‚owe‘ bc it implies that I asked to be brought unto this earth and be provided for. I think in the west there is often more of a mindset of ‚if you decide to bring children into this world, you should be prepared to provide for them well until they‘re of age‘ whereas for example my korean best friend has heard sentences like ‚after all i‘ve done and sacrificed for you, this is how you repay me?‘ from her mother. I was shocked, i don‘t think there should be any payment/balance between parents&children. But maybe that‘s a too idealistic view from me. Thanks for the input and the video!
Yellow Fever! I am British (white). I live in Thailand and have a Burmese wife. Yes, I like her darker skin colour, she likes my milky white, but that is not why we became a pair. We found that we have many things in common and love each other deeply. Oh, and her family is richer than mine and my wife has her own business.
I appreciate you shared this. I was in relationship for 3 years and we broke up. We're quite upset and struggle.We argued a lot and it's painful. But hearing you makes me feel understood and calm more
Sounds like you both found a "gem" in each other. Me and my "girlfriend " of 40 years are also not married, we are from Europe, but have been living in Canada since 1990. Was laughing when you said repeatedly that you "own" your family instead of owe (English is my 5th language, so I lowe goof-ups like that). 😁 Lowe your videos.
I kind of love that you guys are not married. It’s so refreshing, that some folks don’t feel the need to connect in this kind of way and still rocking a very long lasting relationship. Often longer than any married couple I know. Congrats you guys, wishing you the best!:)
My husband is white American i am American Korean. People assume my husband cannot eat spicy foods, they assume he's either rich or an Asian fetishizer and that it's a weird stereotype they call "yellow fever" here. It never feels good to hear these things when they assume i don't also speak my own language and understand when they speak ill about me in front of me!!!
The family value part made me tear up a bit cuz I understand to the core as ASEAN 😭😭 like the length you would go for your family to take care of them, but also typical Asian parent fashion to never be openly affectionate with one another 😂😂 it is a matter of perspective and cultural thing I feel like. That doesn't mean the love wasn't there, it's just being expressed in different ways because that just how it sometimes
11:14 OMG THE REALIZATION JUST HIT THAT GERMAN BF IS BASICALLY "Jhonny" from hotel Transylvania! A backpacker visits a cool place and meets an interesting and amazing girl and they fall in love
Eure Beziehung ist so süß und es ist so lieb, dass ihr uns daran teilhaben lasst. 🫶🏻 Ich sehe euch als Vorbild, weil ihr euch so liebevoll akzeptiert und ihr zusammen ganz authentisch sein könnt. ☺️ Das gibt es in Deutschland und in meiner Familie nicht so oft. Ich wünsche mir mehr von dieser Liebe für die ganze Welt! Ja ich glaube, german boyfriend ist (im positiven Sinn) ein Unicorn unter den deutschen Männern 🦄🪲
Lasst euch nicht von dummen Kommentaren ärgern. Lebt euer Leben weiter so liebevoll und lustig.Ihr seid ein tolles Paar! Jedem das seine.Ich finde eure Videos sehr interessant und informativ. Macht weiter so. 👍
Being in an interracial relationship does feel like sometimes you field lots of uncomfortable questions. I have dated people from all sorts of backgrounds, but after dating two Indian men in a row that had more to do with just randomly meeting them than seeking them out, so many people claim that I have like the Indian version of Yellow Fever. It's so gross, uncomfortable, and infuriating. I love my boyfriend because of what a wonderful person he is -- it has nothing to do with his skin color or nationality. I also get comments on domestic violence, insinuations that he has to be controlling "because he's Indian", that the only thing they can think that I could possibly go for him for are the food, and people seem to bring up their bad experience with one or two Indian people they came across -- all this after just saying my boyfriend is from India when they ask his background. It sucks.
Gosh Uyen I'm so sorry people comment some really rude things! This video was interesting and informative and I laughed out loud that 2-3 months to say "I love you" was a long time 😄
Great Video! I'm german too and I'm in a relationship with my lovely chinese fiancé (in March we'll marry in China) and i can relate all the things you telling in the video.
You are so right. We are a mixed couple and luckily we don't to many stares in Maine. We are fairly close in age, 11 years apart. For bills, I handle all the household bills, rent, utilities, insurance, food. She's a teacher so I told her to keep her money. She uses it to renovate the family home in the Philippines and to help her family. We shared the tuition for her niece to go to a U.S. accredited nursing school and will graduate in May with high honors. My family thought my wife was with me because she's a gold digger. After they met her, they told us they were so wrong. One thing my dad asked my wife was do you have an American dream? My dear wife answered , No I have a dream of marrying your son. One thing my mom told my wife is that she is so brave moving away from her family, she replied that love compels her. My wife teaches English as a second language to immigrant kids in elementary school. So not barriers there. She has a head for languages, I don't. I've tried to learn Tagalog but can't remember the words. A concern my parents had was my track record with women. My first marriage was a disaster, both of us not being suitable on both sides. The other women I dated, or my aunt tried to set me up with were crazy, insulting or both. I wasn't looking for anyone and neither was she. I received an email from her, but it was in reality her co-teachers that wrote the letter without her knowing, (I had a yahoo personal ad back in 2000). We started then to email back and forth. Jan 23 will be our 25th anniversary of that first email. LOL, We were in a long distance relationship for 19 years before I could afford to get the immigration process started. No one at the American embassy had heard of any couple doing that before. My wife also had to get used to hugging and being to I love you. She from an older generation that doesn't do PDA.
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@@zaram131 I forgot about the ad. I made it in 1997. I was really busy between 97 and 2000. 96 I went through a traumatic divorce, started tech school. 97 graduated from tech school and moved immediately to Dallas. I was busy looking for an apartment and jobs, changing jobs and trying to hide from the ex. Made the ad in late 97, got 3 hits and each was as crazy as my ex. Early 2000 I got an email from my now wife. Neither of us knew what was going on. Her co-teachers saw the ad and used my wife's school email to send me that email. We emailed and did chats, then video chats. I went to the Philippines in 2009 and proposed. Little did I know I wasn't going to see her again until 2018, due to unforeseen issues on my side. But was always talked twice a day, or more. She was invited to an educational conference sponsored by Harvard, presenting a paper she co-wrote. We started the immigration paperwork in Jan of 19 and we were married in Nov of 19. She became an American citizen on Nov. 1 24. She teaches English as a second language at the local elementary school and is working on her Masters degree. Last year we had our 5th wedding anniversary, Jan 23 we celebrate our 25th year knowing each other.
@@zaram131 I tried to answer you twice but they didn't get posted for some reason. I was very busy between 97 when I made the ad and 2000 when her first email came in. Completely forgot about the ad. Only had 3 dates from it in 97 and the were as crazy as my ex. My aunt tried to fix me up in 98 with 3 women and they weren't for me.
I wonder if some of the gold digger ideas is because of how little Americans know about how strong the time off and ability to travel is for Europe. Lots of Americans are living so poorly that they can't take time to travel within their own state or country let alone travel for days or weeks to another country.
its a global thing, as soon as they see an average white guy with ANY type of asian woman they will immidiatly think its just for the money. It sucks. doesnt happen to black men
I'm also in a mixed couple, I'm italian and Colombian, she's Belgian. We live in Belgium. It's nice too see the same situation but in another environment. Ps: love your content ✨️ 💕
@ You are right. It’s because I fear she might lose a little that what makes her shine , if she gets praised over the moon and believes everything. She is not American. Once she boasted herself of earning much more than her husband to be by UA-cam. We all adore her and her shy friend and I want them to stay -human, not idols.
Sad but true that the American sport is putting down Americans. Americans wouldn't make the mistakes a person from Vietnam or Germany make because it sounds "off." They might make mistakes from an inadequate education such as saying could have went instead of could have gone, but I wouldn't say her English was incredible. Someone with incredible English is Fareed Zakaria.
As someone who moved acrosss the US for a long-distance relationship, I know what iyou're dealing with. My marriage didn't work out, but I chose to stay on this end of the US because I really like it out here and I have a life. I hadn't heard the stereotypes you mentioned, but in Silicon Valley, we've got lots of Asian-White couples, so it's not a big deal. I assumed that you learned German so you could study in Germany. What surprised me was that you met in Vietnam and not online. Still, you're a very smart woman, and you've got a great future ahead of you. Btw, your English is excellent! I sometimes have to put captions on when watching UA-cam, but I was able to close my eyes when you talked because I could understand you!
0:50 from California married to a French person, it's extremely rare, but there are some people that think I come from the rich background and my husband comes from a poor background, I have no idea where this comes from though, lol, I come from a pretty poor background, we weren't destitute, and my mom made sure I had some fulfilling experiences growing up, but we lived in a run down house that was VERY old (they owned it that's why they never moved) and money was extremely tight sometimes to the point where we had to go without dinner sometimes, I also started working manual labor type jobs starting at 17, lived paycheck to paycheck almost till I was 40, and while I was able to go to uni at some point it wasn't until I was 29 and my tuition was covered by grants and scholarships. but my spouse on the other hand never in his life experienced being poor, never, and never had a job that was outside of his field of study, which he has a PhD in. People originally thought we would settle in the US because, well, if you have family with immigrants in the US, lol, they just assume that your life will be better there, nope, we did the math, and logistically our life is better in France (though culturally, sure I miss California a lot).
4:05 I have always made less than my spouse, I was never going to be a higher earner just based on my education level and honestly my lack of ambition, lol, so from the beginning, even when we were dating, my spouse wanted things to be equal, not 50/50, thank gawd he's not one of those types, lol, but he did want things to be equal, so based on a percentage of our salaries, in the beginning it was more like 40% for me and 60% for him even though we worked the same hours, he was making more than me, but it's dropped a lot since I don't work that much anymore, and when we settled in France I wasn't working at all for a couple of years so he took on most of the bills. as for domestic work, when I wasn't working I did decide on my own to take up 70% of the domestic stuff for our lives, but my spouse still did a lot especially when I wasn't feeling well, he has never forced me to do anything.
5:58 hahhahahahahhaha, um, yep, we got married for the visa, hahahhahahaha, I mean no, obviously we love each other and want to stay together, but it was a big reason we decided to go through with it, well, it was mostly so that we could live anywhere we wanted and have wherever we ended up recognise us as a family unit, and there are some other perks to being married too, but yeah, visa was one of them. Luckily we were living in a 3rd country when we met and got married, and were there for 5 years, so we only got married not long before we moved and settled in France, we were already an established couple living together with a cat by then, lol
15:47 I grew up in a pretty conservative religion that was like a high demand lifestyle, and I had left that religion and religious community a few years before I met my spouse, when we were still dating and not married, I brought him home to meet/visit my family, and I couldn't believe how many of them were not interested in meeting him, and I have French family too, but they didn't care about that, the problem was that he wasn't religious and that we weren't married and were "living in sin", and it really offended me, I mean not all my family was like that, some that I consider to be the most religious and conservative were more than happy to meet him and really liked him and told me I found a really good partner for myself, and I was surprised and happy
24:22 if it wasn't for visa stuff and wanting other countries to recognise us as a unit legally, I don't think my spouse would have ever gotten married, probably not, of our friends here in France that are couples, only 2 others are married, and one of those was also visa reasons (although they are both French, one of couple got a job overseas and didn't want to leave behind their boyfriend and the boyfriend was having trouble getting a job in the same city overseas without a work visa, so they got married, lol, they're still married by the way and have 2 kids), but the rest, even with kids, they aren't married, they are PACS'ed, which is like a type of common law relationship here in France but they do sign a contract, it doesn't have as many protections as marriage does, but it has enough for what they want, and I'd say a good majority of people in France are PACS'ed. Me and my spouse looked into being PACS'ed instead of getting married, since it is possible to do it while living overseas and the French government will recognise it, but we didn't meet all the qualifications for it, and in the end it was just "easier" to get married (getting married to a French person overseas is not easy, lol, there's a lot of paperwork that has to be done that can take months to do and can be expensive for the non-French person to get all of it done)
24:57 oh my gawd!!! the French are SUPER fast in getting into relationships and saying I love you and like they will assume you're a couple even from the first kiss (not long term commitments, just in dating, the relationship might even be just a week, but they would still call it a relationship, lol), while in the culture I grew up in in the States it's like the exact opposite, they avoid the relationship talk (the French don't have the "relationship talk", lol) as long as possible and date a few people at once, and kissing doesn't always mean anything, but once you have the relationship talk the commitment thing can go really fast, especially in the religious culture I grew up in, once they have "the talk" they might be married within like 5-6 months, lol
My husband and I used to eat seperate meals too (he loves chicken nuggets and I love veggies) but I would recommend you teach German boyfriend some Vietnamese recipes.... if you decide to have a family, it's very hard to cook with a baby so you may be served chicken nuggets like me 🤢😂😅 Also I hope the ignorant comments/stereotypes don't upset you Uyen, you have wayyyy more people that love you.
I love listening to your stories, thank you for sharing ❤ you and German Boyfriend are beautiful, amazing people and have so much love and joy for each other
It doesn't mean he loves his family more, but it does mean you carry unearned guilt. You're made to feel like you owe them for feeding and clothing you. That's where the problem comes in because you do not owe your parents. They chose to have children, and it just happened to be that they lived on the poorer side. There is nothing wrong with that, but bringing children into the world while struggling financially is incredibly difficult. They knew they would have to make those sacrifices, and I'm sure they made them very willingly. THAT'S WHAT ALL PARENTS SHOULD DO. You sacrifice for your children, and you love them unconditionally. You do not owe them for providing your basic needs. That's where it becomes toxic.
It’s not unearned guilt. This is a very typical Asian / Confucian value aka filial piety. Even if the family is wealthy, it is still accepted / expected that the children should look after their parents when they are old. The exact definition of “look after” varies widely depending on the family. These days, it tends to be much less of an expectation / obligation but it is still there
@cschchu I totally get that. I have a Philippino friend who has dealt with this, and it has been very detrimental to her mental health. Her parents expect her to send most of her paycheck to take care of the family. I'm a caregiver for my dad, and I'm in an amazing group for caregivers that offer support. I can not tell you how many people from other countries I have heard talk about how toxic their family dynamic is because they are constantly guilted etc I'm not saying all families are like this and I'm certainly not saying anything negative about them struggling financially. I grew up homeless, so I get it. My whole point was that you don't owe your parents for sacrifices they have made. Yes, be grateful and appreciative, but you certainly do not owe them anything.
i very much enjoy you videos. people can be such jerks, and others so delightful. they are an enigma to me. please dont let random commentators harm your happiness or mental health. ty again, you are hilarious (well not here in this) :)
I'm watching this because you asked me to in the other video when German boyfriend took you the beach 😂 its a shame many people use race and nationality to judge others. Honestly most people making those kinds of comments are miserable at home and have no partners! Love you guys and have been watching for years. So much love, care, kindness, understanding, grace, and supportiveness shines through your videos. Regardless of race or nationality I aspire to find a partner who can care for me in those ways! Love you guys and dont listen to those negative people!
my boyfriend and i (we're both german) don't split the bill in half but our leftovers - meaning he gives me more than half of the rent-money plus pays all the additional bills and since he makes quite a lot more money than me, that means we will both be left with about the same amount of money after paying the bills!
Just hit our 3 year mark with my viet girlfriend, got engaged last time I was in Vietnam, will go back and get married. So many similarities in this video that go through my mind. Great video!
This video was so interesting and informative, as a mixed person (I’m half Asian half Caucasian) I noticed a lot of common mindsets I share both between you and German boyfriend. I would say I share a lot more values with you though, but the most interesting part for me was about family. Because I also feel like my family has sacrificed so much for me that I will always be willing to do anything for them. The common thing about family with German bf was how we show affection in my family very similar to his😅
I just wanna say how much I love your videos. You’re such a comfort creator for me and I can relate to you so much since I’m also a foreigner in Germany. I also wanna ask if you’re interested in having a fan meet one day?
I have been going to therapy for self-growth reasons, and one time I brought up that I owe my parents for bringing me up and going through hardship. She furrowed her brow, "It is an adult's decision to bring a child into this world, and therefore their responsibility. Whether they can and want to take care of the child is up to them to consider and make the decision, especially in modern days when there are alternative options. To take care of the child is their responsibility, and the child does not owe them anything for doing what a parent should do." It was an interesting and completely new perspective for me, and one that I am starting to agree with more and more as I think about it. I do not want to feel guilty for the hardships my mother went through, it is her life and she made her choices. I should take care of her as much as I feel like taking care of her, out of free will and love, but I should not be expected to sacrifice. She gave me life, but ultimately it was her choice to do so, not my decision to just show up and be born.
Aww xx I forget others perception…..I honestly never ever thought about it ❤❤❤ regardless of nationality- he’s a boy who met a girl - and fell in love xxx you’re a hard worker - very smart - especially to achieve all you have and now more - and he’s funny and smart and into bugs and hobbies and interesting and German - you guys just connect xx ❤❤❤ I really enjoy everything you do and share ❤❤❤
Am so sorry to hear how rude people have been with their comments. People forget to be kind. As an expat in Germany, it is always shocking to hear what people think about Americans. Especially imitating my accent, as though this is something one can control. Not sure why Germans do this. I don't think other countries do this. Whether it is imitating my German or imitating my English, it is just plain weird. So glad you 2 unicorns have found each other!
I am a white female married to an Asian male ... and agree with a lot of what you are saying (I am the only non asian in the family) ... but God put him in my life and vice versa haha
![[ Winter Morning Routine ] A Micro Apartment Life in Tokyo - 7sqm/76sqft](/img/n.gif)
Thank you for the feedback guys. What is the most ridiculous stereotypes of them all?
The notion that foreign people dating someone from the western hemisphere are after the money. It is just ridiculous.
'yellow fever' !!!! OMG, I hope those comments stop for you, Uyen. I am in a mixed relationship and have heard that for years. I am an egg (white on the outside and 'yellow' on the inside) LOL, and married a banana (yellow on the outside and white on the inside). Just enjoy each other!!! Twenty years married for us, with two kids. Just enjoy every day! (and Hi from Toronto, you are lovely)
All of them are juvenile and so so silly - you are you and he is he - and yes German men can be very “passionate” but fiancée is delightful - I prefer to see the human before me - that way I get to enjoy who they are and not what I would or others expect them to be ❤❤❤ expectations is the mother of all evil ❤❤ 😊
Screw the trolls! I think you guys are a gorgeous couple!! You guys do what you need to do to be happy in this life, and it looks like you are doing it! I am so happy for you and GB. Being half German/half American, I was raised in a German household so I have a lot of German pride. :-) And right now, I am so embarrassed about our new "President", that orange troll! Oh God, how did this happen?!! We need a President like Angela Merkel was for Germany! Much love to you both, and to your families. :-)
I came back to ask, do you ever hear Asian women, who are older than 30 or so, who are still single, are they ever called "Christmas Fruitcake?" I heard this once, a comedian, I THINK she was Vietnamese too...she said it, that if you are still single, you are not wanted, you are TOO OLD and unwanted, like Christmas Fruitcake! (Not Stollen, but that other kind--that lasts for decades and decades, hahah).
As a white American woman, my college roommate was Japanese and told me about her challenges dating American men. She said she came to America to escape the hierarchical society in Japan and the American men she dated were turned off by the assertiveness of American women and were looking for Asian women because they were seen as more submissive. My roommate wasn’t submissive though, she came to America to escape that. So the relationships didn’t work out. .
i think men just look for agreeable women who dont turn everything into conflict and competition
@ a lot of times, a Western man’s idea of an agreeable woman is one who agrees to everything he wants without having any inconvenient wants of her own that would require him to make an effort. That woman doesn’t exist, she just pretends to be agreeable to everything he says until she gets tired pretending and then asks for a divorce.
For my Japanese roommate, she just had no patience trying to hide what she wanted with men. She preferred just saying what she wanted and ended up with a Japanese man who was also dissatisfied with traditional Japanese life. They’re still married.
@@FrederikEngelmand many Western men see an agreeable woman as one who seems to want everything he wants without having any inconvenient wants of her own that requires him to put in an effort. That woman doesn’t exist; she merely pretends to agree to everything he wants until suddenly she gets tired of it and leaves him.
My Japanese roommate got tired of pretending with Western men that she wanted the same things as them and ended up with a Japanese man who was disillusioned with the traditional Japanese lifestyle also. They’re still married.
@@ysbel Good for them. W marriage
Oddly, I know a few men who only date Asian women because they say they are submissive & subservient. Only one got married & to an American woman. 😂
You’re spoiling us with videos recently love it keep the good work up
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Having a man who doesn’t count every penny and instead just trusts you to make the relationship fair is such a good quality. Y’all are a lucky couple ❤❤
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I will never get used to all the stereotypes and projections people have in their mind that distort their vision. As a Turkish woman, as I was dating a Belgian guy, I had to put up with his family warning him about what I could take away from him. I have two master's degrees, speak four languages, lived in three different countries, am a dual citizen already, raised my daughter alone, I am well traveled. What could I take away from this poor guy? I've had people come to me and ask me if I had learned getting dressed like this in Europe and stopped covering my head. I come from a very secular family, at least three generations of women before me in my family did not cover their hair. I have nothing against people choosing to do so, I'm just saying that I don't come from such tradition. At one point, all the constant assumptions become boring and a bit asphyxiating. Some of them, not worth mentioning, were downright insulting, xenophobic and misogynistic. Most of. the time, I can laugh it off, but once in a while you would like things to be simple and people to look at you as the person you are and not someone who represents their fears, strange projections and desperate need to feel superior.
That's a really interesting story! It's so important to get to know someone for who they are, instead of making assumptions, and asking questions based on race, as it sounds judgemental.
what actually would you take away from him, if you don't mind me asking🤣
You speak about him with so much love, it's so cuuute 😍😍😍
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I (American) dated an Indian guy for a bit once. The biggest issue we encountered was the difference in family dynamics. He did not understand at all me trying to put space between me and my parents because they are abusive. To me it made sense to establish boundaries to protect myself, but his idea of how you should treat your parents was very different and in the end he could not deal with the rift between my parents and myself.
That's a shame, but I could see that. I was fortunate enough to date an Indian man who understood being estranged because he saw the pressures and toxic behaviors of some parents.
That's interesting to hear about how other families think of their parents. Once I got older, I realized I didn't have to do things to please my parents, like study what they want, or use my money in a way they would see fit (such as moving out). Sometimes I would just sit there and listen to them speak about their expectations, and smile and nod because I knew that's not what I want. I don't know how other families seem so close with their parents, knowing how much my parents didn't encourage me to do things I loved, or didn't give me freedom to learn from my own mistakes. Just my experience!
Just curious - I wonder if that was really a cultural issue or just came from someone having a very different family experience. Could this also have happened with an American guy from a really close family?
Most Indian children in toxic families live in denial and have internalized the trauma to not recognize the manipulation ongoing for years. Parent worship is very real here.
Very very few get out of it willingly but always with repercussions, either from family ( eg barred from inheritance etc) or severe criticism from the society. Not pretty.
I think situation has improved a little starting from younger millennial parents. We are more sensitive and open to listening.
@@pb94ghyare you Indian? Just curious cause your pp and name don't sound and I'd like to be better aware of the reason for it if you are Indian.
Agree with your points. Even as a millennial Indian who's never seen eye to eye with my parents I've had a hard time finding friends and partners who understand my dynamic with my parents
I was the main earner in my relationship for 17 years (we got together at 18). I supported and paid for my husband to have an academic career and get his phd. Now he is a main income earner and I am a stay at home parent for a while. One day I will go back to work and maybe we will both earn the same for a while. An equal relationship doesn’t always mean both of you share costs equally all the time, it can also mean you take turns to support each other for years at a time. Sometimes people don’t understand that, or they assume that one of us is “freeloading” when that was never the case.
We have never kept score over who was supporting who more, and we have never argued about money in the 26 (almost 27) years we have been together now.
Most of these stereotypes are thinly veiled racism. Thanks for debunking them.
Not very thinly, though.
Not thinly fully blown racism
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@@Makinkolas Nobody is interested
You’re in my Top 3 Favourite Happy Channels on this platform 🥰 You’re a powerful source of positivity (which is so very needed) and you always make me smile and laugh. Thank you for adorably and sensibly sharing your experiences with the world!
Positive, without being either fake or toxic 🥰
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Curious, would you share the other two?
I'm a white American; my wife is from Taiwan. She's an assertive, direct person who does not hesitate to express herself. If I were the sort who expected her to be submissive because she's an Asian woman, uh, I would've been in for a surprise. But that's okay, because I was not looking for that. One thing is that I came from a religious family, where I have an "complicated" relationship to their beliefs; many things I still value a lot, on some other matters I shifted. Oddly enough, marrying someone from a different culture who still has a good set of values made life easier, because she simply does not have the same complicated feelings, and can just accept me and my ambivalence; she's respectful, but puts on me no expectations in that department. If I had married from the same culture who had strong opinions about that - one way or the other - I don't know how I would've resolved it. So I think marrying across cultures in my case actually worked well; it avoided a particular type of "baggage".
... and another thing: my wife had been in the US for more than 15 years when we married. She had successfully navigated the "cross-cultural" situation by that time. It's one thing to have a relationship with someone from another culture; it's another thing have a relationship with someone who has proven that they can navigate both cultures. *That* is a very admirable trait and indicates a lot of positive things about your loved one, in a way that will bless your relationship. German boyfriend should appreciate Uyen a lot because she has proven herself in this way.
Oh that's a really good point. I'm neurodivergent and often find relationships across larger cultural differences easier and I think you just put a pin on one of the reasons why.
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I think the only people that think that Asian women are submissive are chronically online Americans.
I suspect that Uyen is making more than German Boyfriend now. She has 2.88M subs on a relatively advertiser friendly channel.
300% true since some years ago
Isn’t that amazing that people can make a lot of money filming themselves and posting it on social media? Amazing.
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 its awesome :)
Who cares, it is up to these 2 to deal with it.
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 wow sounds jealous to me. YOU can do the same thing.
What a great video. I appreciate you being so honest and open making this video. I am Latin and my husband is from India. We never had any problems with our families because to be honest, we are very independent and have always lived our lives the way we wanted to. We have never let either of our cultures come first when it comes to us. We love our families and would do anything for them but we don’t allow any interference or cultural pressure to affect us. This is a big misconception about interracial couples; that being from different cultures will make it so much harder. It comes down to the two people involved. We have no children which in both our cultures is a given but we were very clear from the beginning that we were not going to have children. The key is to communicate clearly and set boundaries from the beginning to avoid problems. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and could not be happier 😊
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Germans aren't that progressive, Uyen, unfortunately
Wdum it's a given in both your culture to not have children? Isn't it the opposite?
My boyfriend is from Vietnam. We watched this together and we’re doing compare and contrasts. So funny to compare and have some similarities 😂
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Enjoyed this very much. It’s always been very obvious to me that you not only communicate extremely well with each other and the love between you is evident. I can most definitely see you two together forever.
I've been dreaming of owning a Balenciaga bag for years, but the price was always too high. *eudupe* came to my rescue. I bought a replica, and it's beyond my expectations. The quality is outstanding, and it's become my go-to accessory.
I love all your slice-of-life, everyday, content Uyen! Not really related to the video, but I wanted to say, I LOVE your cooking videos and would love to see more! Your traditional dishes look so delicious.
I used to think replicas were cheap knock-offs, but *eudupe* proved me wrong. I bought a replica Saint Laurent bag, and it's stunning. The leather is soft, and the hardware is high-quality. I've been carrying it for months, and it still looks brand new.
This video is incredibly sweet. However, I am stunned by the unkind comments you mentioned. You and GB have both always seem happy and playful together, I can only suppose that the ugly comments come from people who haven't actually seen your videos. Good luck to you both.
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I appreciate your honesty and transparency! I'm also in an interracial marriage, 29 years now. Everything is based on choices made, coming from a deep love for each other but also we do have a lot in common! I am happy for both of you and wish you all the best! I luv your content ❤
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You know most people love you because you express with so much honesty and you are very wise. ❤
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As someone in a mixed relationship (Colombian x American), I realized that the standards of living are crazily different in each country. So, in many ways, I am wealthy compared to my wife's friends and family in Colombia. Also, obviously the exchange rate plays a factor into their perceptions. "If you're making X million pesos each month, they MUST be wealthy." In reality, we're living an average life since the cost of living is so high where I live.
I think you touched on this a few times in this video and in some of your other videos, but I figured I would chime in since I'm coming from the other side of things. Thanks for sharing your experience, btw! It's been great getting more insight into the reality of things
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You are a delight. thank you for making videos. I am going to send this video to my Hong Kong born American German heritage son in law. we are all in Canada.
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This was such a fun video Uyen! I absolutely love how genuine and straightforward you are. I'm not in a mixed relationship but me and my whole family are indian but I was brought up in the UK so I can relate to a lot of the things you say. Its always fun to see the similarities between asian countries and western ones too
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It’s so sweet how you two have a healthy relationship! Glad you made this video debunking bad stereotypes and I’m sorry that people automatically assume this.
I also see lots of couples online get really bad comments especially on TikTok.
you remind me so much of how youtube used to be like. i love how cozy your videos feel
You said and explained everything so well. You’re amazing and I love hearing your individual thoughts. Thank you for sharing this 😊
As a part of a mixed couple myself, I appreciate and love your insights. My husband is Vietnamese and there are many times I have identified with your content. Thank you! ❤❤❤❤
Red lipstick really effects on Uyen. You look so pretty ❤
100 percent!! She’s so pretty
Heyyy girl...I'm in interracial marriage for 27 years!!!!! I fully get what you saying! I could write a book!😂
You should 😉
❤
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It seems that you've been a very mature person since an early age. You've made all the right decisions, when considering immigrating to Germany.
God has blessed you with a beautiful, sweet man, and He has blessed your boyfriend with a wonderful woman. Together, you are an AMAZING team. Don't listen to negative people's stereotypes. They're just jealous of your EXCEPTIONAL relationship! 🥰
May God continue to bless you two! ♥
excited for this one! Love you both!
Das war das schönste Video bisher. Man spürt eure grosse Liebe durch jeden Satz. 😍
15:23 wow, that's an interesting experience. I feel like I can express myself so well in my native tongue, but when I try a foreign language, I struggle. I can't act in a foreign language either, I can't get the emotional nuance. Good for you to find a voice for yourself in English, uyen. Thanks for sharing.
It is also cultural and the ability to find the right words is also dependent on what input we could get, I think words like "boundaries" "being proud of something" doesn't really appear in a lot of east asian languages unfortunately...
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It’s so interesting how many of these stereotypes only apply when one of the partners is white/European. I am also in a mixed couple but we are both from different non-western countries, and now living in a western country.
By the way, love your videos & your sense of humour
You are a wise lady. 🙂. I like your common sense, and love your sense of humor!
I was tired of spending my hard-earned money on overpriced designer bags. *eudupe* offered a solution. I bought a replica Loewe bag, and it's beyond my expectations. The quality is outstanding, and it's become my go-to accessory.
I really love your videos ! Also dating a german man (i'm a french/dutch woman) and your videos are always so interesting for me !
You're only with each other because you love each other. 😅
(Couldn't resist the accusation. Lol)
Honestly, some people! I'm sorry you have to endure so much ignorance and racism. I don't know how some people can be so mean. I think you're perfect for each other and I wish a happy long life together for you both!❤️
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I'm in a mixed couple as well. French and from the Netherlands. And we still comminucate mostly in English. We did have quite a few fights that just came from misunderstanding what the other means in English. Because both our languages have influenced the English language a lot, and expressions can mean opposite or unrelated things. Luckily, these days we understand each other better and a langauge based miscommunication hardly happens.
Also, we're expecthing a baby soon. That we hope to bring up to be trilingual or even polyglot. And so we also expect to learn more of each others langauges in the future. Plus I'll have some time during maternity leave to take lessons.
3:00 this is exactly what developing countries don’t understand. Westerners are not wealthy in their own countries. We’re just average people in our country. Nothing crazy.
I was once asked why I married an Asian. I said it was not something I considered.
Because you loved her.
Perfect answer.
Haha same!! My husband is American and I am Taiwanese. My parents are richer than my husband’s family 😂
21:40 i think it‘s okay to be thankful for everything your parents did/sacrificed for you, I just struggle with the word ‚owe‘ bc it implies that I asked to be brought unto this earth and be provided for. I think in the west there is often more of a mindset of ‚if you decide to bring children into this world, you should be prepared to provide for them well until they‘re of age‘ whereas for example my korean best friend has heard sentences like ‚after all i‘ve done and sacrificed for you, this is how you repay me?‘ from her mother. I was shocked, i don‘t think there should be any payment/balance between parents&children. But maybe that‘s a too idealistic view from me. Thanks for the input and the video!
Yellow Fever! I am British (white). I live in Thailand and have a Burmese wife. Yes, I like her darker skin colour, she likes my milky white, but that is not why we became a pair. We found that we have many things in common and love each other deeply. Oh, and her family is richer than mine and my wife has her own business.
You are a kept man 😂
A really good sharing Uyen! Thank you for clearing up some negative stereotypes that our society has! 😊
That was so interesting! Thank you for sharing your life with us! I wish you both all the best
I appreciate you shared this. I was in relationship for 3 years and we broke up. We're quite upset and struggle.We argued a lot and it's painful. But hearing you makes me feel understood and calm more
Sounds like you both found a "gem" in each other. Me and my "girlfriend " of 40 years are also not married, we are from Europe, but have been living in Canada since 1990. Was laughing when you said repeatedly that you "own" your family instead of owe (English is my 5th language, so I lowe goof-ups like that). 😁 Lowe your videos.
I kind of love that you guys are not married. It’s so refreshing, that some folks don’t feel the need to connect in this kind of way and still rocking a very long lasting relationship. Often longer than any married couple I know. Congrats you guys, wishing you the best!:)
My husband is white American i am American Korean. People assume my husband cannot eat spicy foods, they assume he's either rich or an Asian fetishizer and that it's a weird stereotype they call "yellow fever" here. It never feels good to hear these things when they assume i don't also speak my own language and understand when they speak ill about me in front of me!!!
The family value part made me tear up a bit cuz I understand to the core as ASEAN 😭😭 like the length you would go for your family to take care of them, but also typical Asian parent fashion to never be openly affectionate with one another 😂😂 it is a matter of perspective and cultural thing I feel like. That doesn't mean the love wasn't there, it's just being expressed in different ways because that just how it sometimes
"He is crazily in touch with his emotions" And we love that ♥️ The world would be better with more men and humans of this kind
Thank you for explaining so much to us about your life. You two are the most adorable and perfect couple :)
11:14 OMG THE REALIZATION JUST HIT THAT GERMAN BF IS BASICALLY "Jhonny" from hotel Transylvania!
A backpacker visits a cool place and meets an interesting and amazing girl and they fall in love
Yes I made that connection when I started following Uyen!
As a brazilian the whole concept for me is crazy. We are all considerably mixed already in here.
Eure Beziehung ist so süß und es ist so lieb, dass ihr uns daran teilhaben lasst. 🫶🏻 Ich sehe euch als Vorbild, weil ihr euch so liebevoll akzeptiert und ihr zusammen ganz authentisch sein könnt. ☺️ Das gibt es in Deutschland und in meiner Familie nicht so oft. Ich wünsche mir mehr von dieser Liebe für die ganze Welt! Ja ich glaube, german boyfriend ist (im positiven Sinn) ein Unicorn unter den deutschen Männern 🦄🪲
What an utterly delightful - and insightful - video! Thank you for taking the time to share you private life and thoughts with us.
Lasst euch nicht von dummen Kommentaren ärgern. Lebt euer Leben weiter so liebevoll und lustig.Ihr seid ein tolles Paar! Jedem das seine.Ich finde eure Videos sehr interessant und informativ. Macht weiter so. 👍
I love how you post more long form videos, I love listening your stories and especialy your podcast :D
Being in an interracial relationship does feel like sometimes you field lots of uncomfortable questions. I have dated people from all sorts of backgrounds, but after dating two Indian men in a row that had more to do with just randomly meeting them than seeking them out, so many people claim that I have like the Indian version of Yellow Fever. It's so gross, uncomfortable, and infuriating. I love my boyfriend because of what a wonderful person he is -- it has nothing to do with his skin color or nationality.
I also get comments on domestic violence, insinuations that he has to be controlling "because he's Indian", that the only thing they can think that I could possibly go for him for are the food, and people seem to bring up their bad experience with one or two Indian people they came across -- all this after just saying my boyfriend is from India when they ask his background. It sucks.
Gosh Uyen I'm so sorry people comment some really rude things! This video was interesting and informative and I laughed out loud that 2-3 months to say "I love you" was a long time 😄
Great Video! I'm german too and I'm in a relationship with my lovely chinese fiancé (in March we'll marry in China) and i can relate all the things you telling in the video.
You are so right. We are a mixed couple and luckily we don't to many stares in Maine. We are fairly close in age, 11 years apart. For bills, I handle all the household bills, rent, utilities, insurance, food. She's a teacher so I told her to keep her money. She uses it to renovate the family home in the Philippines and to help her family. We shared the tuition for her niece to go to a U.S. accredited nursing school and will graduate in May with high honors. My family thought my wife was with me because she's a gold digger. After they met her, they told us they were so wrong. One thing my dad asked my wife was do you have an American dream? My dear wife answered , No I have a dream of marrying your son. One thing my mom told my wife is that she is so brave moving away from her family, she replied that love compels her. My wife teaches English as a second language to immigrant kids in elementary school. So not barriers there. She has a head for languages, I don't. I've tried to learn Tagalog but can't remember the words. A concern my parents had was my track record with women. My first marriage was a disaster, both of us not being suitable on both sides. The other women I dated, or my aunt tried to set me up with were crazy, insulting or both. I wasn't looking for anyone and neither was she. I received an email from her, but it was in reality her co-teachers that wrote the letter without her knowing, (I had a yahoo personal ad back in 2000). We started then to email back and forth. Jan 23 will be our 25th anniversary of that first email. LOL, We were in a long distance relationship for 19 years before I could afford to get the immigration process started. No one at the American embassy had heard of any couple doing that before. My wife also had to get used to hugging and being to I love you. She from an older generation that doesn't do PDA.
So you had a yahoo personal ad, but weren’t looking for anyone? I see.
I've always wanted a By Far bag but couldn't afford it. *eudupe* came to my rescue. I bought a replica, and it's stunning. The detailing is impeccable, and it's held up well over time. I feel like I've made the best purchase ever.
@@zaram131 I forgot about the ad. I made it in 1997. I was really busy between 97 and 2000. 96 I went through a traumatic divorce, started tech school. 97 graduated from tech school and moved immediately to Dallas. I was busy looking for an apartment and jobs, changing jobs and trying to hide from the ex. Made the ad in late 97, got 3 hits and each was as crazy as my ex. Early 2000 I got an email from my now wife. Neither of us knew what was going on. Her co-teachers saw the ad and used my wife's school email to send me that email. We emailed and did chats, then video chats. I went to the Philippines in 2009 and proposed. Little did I know I wasn't going to see her again until 2018, due to unforeseen issues on my side. But was always talked twice a day, or more. She was invited to an educational conference sponsored by Harvard, presenting a paper she co-wrote. We started the immigration paperwork in Jan of 19 and we were married in Nov of 19. She became an American citizen on Nov. 1 24. She teaches English as a second language at the local elementary school and is working on her Masters degree. Last year we had our 5th wedding anniversary, Jan 23 we celebrate our 25th year knowing each other.
How did you guys do long distance for so long? I think it's nice that she enjoyed her job though 💙💙
@@zaram131 I tried to answer you twice but they didn't get posted for some reason. I was very busy between 97 when I made the ad and 2000 when her first email came in. Completely forgot about the ad. Only had 3 dates from it in 97 and the were as crazy as my ex. My aunt tried to fix me up in 98 with 3 women and they weren't for me.
The long-distance relationship don't always suck! I'm in the LDR for 2 years and I like it so much, maybe even more than dating in person, lol.
I wonder if some of the gold digger ideas is because of how little Americans know about how strong the time off and ability to travel is for Europe. Lots of Americans are living so poorly that they can't take time to travel within their own state or country let alone travel for days or weeks to another country.
its a global thing, as soon as they see an average white guy with ANY type of asian woman they will immidiatly think its just for the money. It sucks. doesnt happen to black men
I'm also in a mixed couple, I'm italian and Colombian, she's Belgian. We live in Belgium. It's nice too see the same situation but in another environment.
Ps: love your content ✨️ 💕
I love these longer videos❤
Love watching your videos. You are so down to earth, funny and a delight to watch. I'm in a mixed marriage and hate stero types.
Your English is incredible! Your vocabulary, grammar, etc. is better than many native speakers here in America. Sad, but true.
She’s brilliant. ❤
But sometimes , when in action, she shows little problems, e.g. irregular verbs.🤓 Sorry, German here.
@@winny4765Right, but it's so cute and lastly at least I understand everything she says, I needed a little time to get used to Uyen's accent though.
@ You are right. It’s because I fear she might lose a little that what makes her shine , if she gets praised over the moon and believes everything. She is not American. Once she boasted herself of earning much more than her husband to be by UA-cam. We all adore her and her shy friend and I want them to stay -human, not idols.
Sad but true that the American sport is putting down Americans. Americans wouldn't make the mistakes a person from Vietnam or Germany make because it sounds "off." They might make mistakes from an inadequate education such as saying could have went instead of could have gone, but I wouldn't say her English was incredible. Someone with incredible English is Fareed Zakaria.
She left out the biggest stereotype about physical diffeeences ❤
You are a very nice person, it relaxes me to listen to your channel.
As someone who moved acrosss the US for a long-distance relationship, I know what iyou're dealing with. My marriage didn't work out, but I chose to stay on this end of the US because I really like it out here and I have a life.
I hadn't heard the stereotypes you mentioned, but in Silicon Valley, we've got lots of Asian-White couples, so it's not a big deal. I assumed that you learned German so you could study in Germany. What surprised me was that you met in Vietnam and not online. Still, you're a very smart woman, and you've got a great future ahead of you. Btw, your English is excellent! I sometimes have to put captions on when watching UA-cam, but I was able to close my eyes when you talked because I could understand you!
I am so happy you found a great partner! I agree with your assessment.
Will you be promoting German Boyfriend to German Husband in your videos :)
0:50 from California married to a French person, it's extremely rare, but there are some people that think I come from the rich background and my husband comes from a poor background, I have no idea where this comes from though, lol, I come from a pretty poor background, we weren't destitute, and my mom made sure I had some fulfilling experiences growing up, but we lived in a run down house that was VERY old (they owned it that's why they never moved) and money was extremely tight sometimes to the point where we had to go without dinner sometimes, I also started working manual labor type jobs starting at 17, lived paycheck to paycheck almost till I was 40, and while I was able to go to uni at some point it wasn't until I was 29 and my tuition was covered by grants and scholarships. but my spouse on the other hand never in his life experienced being poor, never, and never had a job that was outside of his field of study, which he has a PhD in. People originally thought we would settle in the US because, well, if you have family with immigrants in the US, lol, they just assume that your life will be better there, nope, we did the math, and logistically our life is better in France (though culturally, sure I miss California a lot).
4:05 I have always made less than my spouse, I was never going to be a higher earner just based on my education level and honestly my lack of ambition, lol, so from the beginning, even when we were dating, my spouse wanted things to be equal, not 50/50, thank gawd he's not one of those types, lol, but he did want things to be equal, so based on a percentage of our salaries, in the beginning it was more like 40% for me and 60% for him even though we worked the same hours, he was making more than me, but it's dropped a lot since I don't work that much anymore, and when we settled in France I wasn't working at all for a couple of years so he took on most of the bills. as for domestic work, when I wasn't working I did decide on my own to take up 70% of the domestic stuff for our lives, but my spouse still did a lot especially when I wasn't feeling well, he has never forced me to do anything.
5:58 hahhahahahahhaha, um, yep, we got married for the visa, hahahhahahaha, I mean no, obviously we love each other and want to stay together, but it was a big reason we decided to go through with it, well, it was mostly so that we could live anywhere we wanted and have wherever we ended up recognise us as a family unit, and there are some other perks to being married too, but yeah, visa was one of them. Luckily we were living in a 3rd country when we met and got married, and were there for 5 years, so we only got married not long before we moved and settled in France, we were already an established couple living together with a cat by then, lol
15:47 I grew up in a pretty conservative religion that was like a high demand lifestyle, and I had left that religion and religious community a few years before I met my spouse, when we were still dating and not married, I brought him home to meet/visit my family, and I couldn't believe how many of them were not interested in meeting him, and I have French family too, but they didn't care about that, the problem was that he wasn't religious and that we weren't married and were "living in sin", and it really offended me, I mean not all my family was like that, some that I consider to be the most religious and conservative were more than happy to meet him and really liked him and told me I found a really good partner for myself, and I was surprised and happy
24:22 if it wasn't for visa stuff and wanting other countries to recognise us as a unit legally, I don't think my spouse would have ever gotten married, probably not, of our friends here in France that are couples, only 2 others are married, and one of those was also visa reasons (although they are both French, one of couple got a job overseas and didn't want to leave behind their boyfriend and the boyfriend was having trouble getting a job in the same city overseas without a work visa, so they got married, lol, they're still married by the way and have 2 kids), but the rest, even with kids, they aren't married, they are PACS'ed, which is like a type of common law relationship here in France but they do sign a contract, it doesn't have as many protections as marriage does, but it has enough for what they want, and I'd say a good majority of people in France are PACS'ed. Me and my spouse looked into being PACS'ed instead of getting married, since it is possible to do it while living overseas and the French government will recognise it, but we didn't meet all the qualifications for it, and in the end it was just "easier" to get married (getting married to a French person overseas is not easy, lol, there's a lot of paperwork that has to be done that can take months to do and can be expensive for the non-French person to get all of it done)
24:57 oh my gawd!!! the French are SUPER fast in getting into relationships and saying I love you and like they will assume you're a couple even from the first kiss (not long term commitments, just in dating, the relationship might even be just a week, but they would still call it a relationship, lol), while in the culture I grew up in in the States it's like the exact opposite, they avoid the relationship talk (the French don't have the "relationship talk", lol) as long as possible and date a few people at once, and kissing doesn't always mean anything, but once you have the relationship talk the commitment thing can go really fast, especially in the religious culture I grew up in, once they have "the talk" they might be married within like 5-6 months, lol
Be a stereotype, don’t be a stereotype, it’s all fine. There’s no wrong or right answer just do what works for you guys
I am German and I met my Chilean wife while backpacking in Chile so we have a very similar situation.. I really like to watch your videos, keep it up❤
My husband and I used to eat seperate meals too (he loves chicken nuggets and I love veggies) but I would recommend you teach German boyfriend some Vietnamese recipes.... if you decide to have a family, it's very hard to cook with a baby so you may be served chicken nuggets like me 🤢😂😅
Also I hope the ignorant comments/stereotypes don't upset you Uyen, you have wayyyy more people that love you.
I love listening to your stories, thank you for sharing ❤ you and German Boyfriend are beautiful, amazing people and have so much love and joy for each other
It doesn't mean he loves his family more, but it does mean you carry unearned guilt. You're made to feel like you owe them for feeding and clothing you. That's where the problem comes in because you do not owe your parents. They chose to have children, and it just happened to be that they lived on the poorer side. There is nothing wrong with that, but bringing children into the world while struggling financially is incredibly difficult. They knew they would have to make those sacrifices, and I'm sure they made them very willingly. THAT'S WHAT ALL PARENTS SHOULD DO. You sacrifice for your children, and you love them unconditionally. You do not owe them for providing your basic needs. That's where it becomes toxic.
It’s not unearned guilt. This is a very typical Asian / Confucian value aka filial piety. Even if the family is wealthy, it is still accepted / expected that the children should look after their parents when they are old. The exact definition of “look after” varies widely depending on the family. These days, it tends to be much less of an expectation / obligation but it is still there
@cschchu I totally get that. I have a Philippino friend who has dealt with this, and it has been very detrimental to her mental health. Her parents expect her to send most of her paycheck to take care of the family. I'm a caregiver for my dad, and I'm in an amazing group for caregivers that offer support. I can not tell you how many people from other countries I have heard talk about how toxic their family dynamic is because they are constantly guilted etc I'm not saying all families are like this and I'm certainly not saying anything negative about them struggling financially. I grew up homeless, so I get it. My whole point was that you don't owe your parents for sacrifices they have made. Yes, be grateful and appreciative, but you certainly do not owe them anything.
They say most foreigners in Germany are friends with other foreigner is that the case for you too ?
i very much enjoy you videos. people can be such jerks, and others so delightful. they are an enigma to me. please dont let random commentators harm your happiness or mental health. ty again, you are hilarious (well not here in this) :)
I'm watching this because you asked me to in the other video when German boyfriend took you the beach 😂 its a shame many people use race and nationality to judge others. Honestly most people making those kinds of comments are miserable at home and have no partners!
Love you guys and have been watching for years. So much love, care, kindness, understanding, grace, and supportiveness shines through your videos. Regardless of race or nationality I aspire to find a partner who can care for me in those ways! Love you guys and dont listen to those negative people!
I like your funny videos a lot, but this here is my new favourite. Ty so much for sharing :)
my boyfriend and i (we're both german) don't split the bill in half but our leftovers - meaning he gives me more than half of the rent-money plus pays all the additional bills and since he makes quite a lot more money than me, that means we will both be left with about the same amount of money after paying the bills!
Just hit our 3 year mark with my viet girlfriend, got engaged last time I was in Vietnam, will go back and get married. So many similarities in this video that go through my mind. Great video!
„I will marry you anyway. It doesn’t matter now or later.“ - aaaw, how sweet is that! 🥹🫶
You made right choices and it’s good to hear that all worked out yayyy🎉🎉🎉
Uyen, I just wanna say that you are such a positive person.
I really am so very happy for you both 🥰
I looooved this video!!! Great job, Uyen!!! 🎉
This video was so interesting and informative, as a mixed person (I’m half Asian half Caucasian)
I noticed a lot of common mindsets I share both between you and German boyfriend. I would say I share a lot more values with you though, but the most interesting part for me was about family. Because I also feel like my family has sacrificed so much for me that I will always be willing to do anything for them. The common thing about family with German bf was how we show affection in my family very similar to his😅
Great video. Your honesty is admirable and appreciated
"I will marry you anyway". It's such a blessing to recognise your soulmate early on😊🧡
I love to see every video of you. I am waiting every day to see if there is a new video
German boyfriend is a unicorn 🦄 slayy
You indeed prove you are an intelligent person, very admirable
I just wanna say how much I love your videos. You’re such a comfort creator for me and I can relate to you so much since I’m also a foreigner in Germany. I also wanna ask if you’re interested in having a fan meet one day?
I have been going to therapy for self-growth reasons, and one time I brought up that I owe my parents for bringing me up and going through hardship. She furrowed her brow, "It is an adult's decision to bring a child into this world, and therefore their responsibility. Whether they can and want to take care of the child is up to them to consider and make the decision, especially in modern days when there are alternative options. To take care of the child is their responsibility, and the child does not owe them anything for doing what a parent should do."
It was an interesting and completely new perspective for me, and one that I am starting to agree with more and more as I think about it. I do not want to feel guilty for the hardships my mother went through, it is her life and she made her choices. I should take care of her as much as I feel like taking care of her, out of free will and love, but I should not be expected to sacrifice. She gave me life, but ultimately it was her choice to do so, not my decision to just show up and be born.
Aww xx I forget others perception…..I honestly never ever thought about it ❤❤❤ regardless of nationality- he’s a boy who met a girl - and fell in love xxx you’re a hard worker - very smart - especially to achieve all you have and now more - and he’s funny and smart and into bugs and hobbies and interesting and German - you guys just connect xx ❤❤❤ I really enjoy everything you do and share ❤❤❤
Am so sorry to hear how rude people have been with their comments. People forget to be kind.
As an expat in Germany, it is always shocking to hear what people think about Americans. Especially imitating my accent, as though this is something one can control. Not sure why Germans do this. I don't think other countries do this. Whether it is imitating my German or imitating my English, it is just plain weird.
So glad you 2 unicorns have found each other!
I am a white female married to an Asian male ... and agree with a lot of what you are saying (I am the only non asian in the family) ... but God put him in my life and vice versa haha
Love you guys💜!