Inspiration for you guys: Most of my shortest relationship interests (1 week - 1 month) have come back within a few months. They've come back more than my longer relationship partners have.
Thankyou for this. Because even if we weren’t together long enough to build a super strong connection I believe we had one starting and if he would come try again we could have the best connection :)
@@ForeverLele1238 even though he swore up and down the whole time we were together that i’m not and that he made our relationship so real and I met all his friends and daughter etc and was talking and making me believe a future together
I can't believe I'm back to watching these videos again.... I really wanted this one to work but my anxious attachment style refuses to let me be happy.
Same here but I’m recognizing the pattern now and working with a therapist to break the cycle so I can find health and freedom in my relationships going forward ❤
It's pretty good advice BUT I don't agree with initiating contact with someone that dumped you. I've done it in the past and even if you are casual with them, it still gives that ex a sense of ego power, and the idea that you will always initiate. If the ex knows you're cool and they haven't made an effort to reach out to you, then they're not ready to talk to you properly and they don't miss you enough. High value men and women have other options and are too busy with life to be lingering around contacting ex's. If you linger around you will kill your chances of respect and value, and they won't miss you enough. Allow their anxiety to get bad that they need to contact you. If that doesn't happen then they didn't value what you had enough.
Caroline Milster I understand what you’re saying, and you’re basically right. But I’ve been really detaching from my emotions and thinking about a lot of things, also regarding the way I see, act and communicate in life. While your comment will be true in about 90% of the situations...it also has a perspective that all people are - and process things - the same. Which for the past 2 months, I’ve been really comprehending; they’re not! A lot of people (and you also in your comment) fill in others emotions, value of you, way of thinking and motives according to their own. But people can be very different and behave in a very different way. React to situations the complete opposite we would. Miscommunication plays a part as well. Maybe something was said or done that gave them a very wrong impression about the other...it hurt them...they didn’t communicate it so we are not aware...and then more and more we start to think for the other person and all of our insights get further detailed. In some cases... it’s good to question yourself: am I absolutely 100% sure that THEY know exactly how I feel about them and the situation? Is there 100% clarity and no misconception about anything? And then off of that, reach out...if then they are not open to a connection, you’re sure and can move on. But most people are so stuck on their tunnel-vision, they can’t see past their hurt ego and see things from the others POV. Also..respect?? Why would you lose respect if you just try to make up with someone you really care about?? People need to stop seeing kindness as weakness and stop letting something like this define if they should be respected or not. In my opinion it does not define that, and if anything...it makes you a better and stronger person, because you risk getting hurt, rejected and making a fool of yourself.. all because you want to do something good and want to express you care. That’s never a bad thing (unless you do it 15 times a week ofcourse 😜)
Anthony •_•_•_• I am reading your comment again and I 100% agree. Reaching out doesn’t mean you are weak, needy, and desperate ( unless you do it 5 times a day). And if both you are nice people and if you handle things like adults, I don’t think there will be negative reactions or consequences if you do so. And EVEN IF the other person response negatively, so what? They gonna forget within a second, and you will too. Nowadays people are overwhelmed with information online and they no longer follow their heart. Everyone teaches them how to protect their heart and avoid getting hurt. But what they really need to do is to learn how to be comfortable getting hurt, getting rejected, feeling like fool etc. They need to learn how to be OK without feeling OK.
@@karenzhang1020 what if she knew someone else? We've been toghether 5 months. We fell in love. I still love her actually but I went no contact because she's dating another guy
Hi I am very new to this thing of relationship for 3 months. I started something with this man and it all happened a month after he had broken up with someone which I later found out it where I should have gone slow. Believe me I have tried and he did too but as he mentioned before the connection was to strong to resist. I have been in contact with him for a month now and we had a couple conversations. In these conversations I have to told him that I acknowledge why he let me go, for the fact he has been in and out relationships and didn't actually take time to deal with them also that I know he is doing this as he wants to focus more on his career path. I have also expressed my true feelings for fact that I have fallen for him and that's what made it hard to take it slow. I have also opened up a conversation if he is open for friendship as he said he is. So last week on the 22nd of March l decided to not talk with him at all. Some it's not too late to still give him no contact space. Let me know what you're thoughts are?
His advice is the real deal. All you can really do, especially if you did make mistakes post breakup; is no contact. I went with the “let me know if you change you mind” at the breakup, and then did the dumb “good reminder” text after 16 days of NC. You have to do NC, that’s the only answer. Especially if it has worked before, and especially if you had set the best standard for your ex regarding what they are looking for. If your ex has said the words “I like everything about you” or “you are what I have been looking for”; give them the gift of missing you.
Oh yeah I completely understand. I took the low road and decided to send her mom a FB message with the truth about her and what she has hid from her parents for so long. I did it to let go, it was the only way after 5 months of caring and being blocked out of their life over 1 argument.
yeah that's true, my ex spoke A LOT about me to her two best friends. about holding the car's passenger door for her, the street rule (walking on the side of the street on sidewalk), planning dates at places. she loved those things and they liked it too for her because she never had those especially with a toxic past. good reminder from you to give them the gift of missing us as i'm only two week into NC and i find it hard sometimes, but time will work its magic and make her remember those subtle but powerful things mentioned above.
This comment feels like a godsent. She always talked abt how I’m the sweetest and most interesting guy she’s ever met, how she’s never spoken so highly of anyone and never had a feeling this special before. She knows I have some insecurities from past relationships and always made sure to remind me that I’m everything she wants in a guy and more. I hurt her by starting a few big fights/taking stress out on her for a few weeks, but I’m hoping that in her eyes our relationship was good enough that it’s worth giving a chance. The last 2 months have been hard. I didnt beg or plead but I did reach out once or twice in the first month to tell her how I feel, and she didn’t respond either time. A month later I ended up reaching out bc something bad had happened and I knew I could talk to her abt it. We had a short conversation and she seemed kinda cold, but then she looked at my insta story a few days later so maybe she’s starting to feel better. All I can do is leave her alone and hope that our relationship is as special to her as it to me.
Exactly what this guy who just dumped me yesterday has said before. “You're definitely much more than I could wish for.” When he said let’s split up, I texted him asking why for a bit, then called which of course he didn’t answer. And once he said, “I’m physically and mentally drained and tired.” I went cold Turkey. No messages, no calls. Bet he’s wondering why now. Hahahaha. Wish me luck!
I have found girls I’ve dated in short term (up to 3 months) and have broken things off, they almost always reach out again. Sometimes I’m over it and don’t bother but sometimes we see each other again. Essentially, it’s because there’s still enough mystery and curiosity there about what things could have been and so they often come back. Also what’s very common is that they will go on a couple dates with others and realise you were much better and then they realise they acted too quickly.
Even if they block you after arguments? Dated for 2-3 months and had post break up arguments which led to her blocking me. Just letting it happen now not even trying to get around the block
Yes! No contact worked for me, thank youu. We have known each other about six months, two/three days in a week. It takes 21 days and he contacted me, after casual texts and meeting he told me, he wants to try live together! And yes, he went through the stages (curiosity..), that Coach Lee describes after break up. Be strong and believe :))
@@Adultsodas Yes, it was messy from my part. During and right after break up I was crying and begging several days. In spite of that, no contact worked :).
6 month intense and accelerated relationship. Went no contact for 12 days (being broken up for 25 days). She messaged me asking how I'm doing on the 12 day. NC and Coach Lee's advice works!
I responded and she went cold on me again. Didnt hear from her for months. I stayed no contact over Christmas and broke it after 4 months of no contact by calling her. She didnt hang up on me but wasnt happy to hear from me either. I went NC again. We've since had contact here and there but always ends up with her getting my hopes up and then crushing them by going silent. The thing with my case guys, is that she's isnt a mentally healthy girl and ive since realised that she is in fact a narcissist. Look up narcissism on youtube. It all makes sense to me now. She will always be back but its a dangerous game to accept her back into my life. The dynamics of the emotionally abusive narcissistic relationship also explained to me why i was addicted to her. In saying all this, i'm sure the advice here would work well on a mentally stable person where genuine feelings were involved between both parties. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but I've grown immensely since realising what she is. I now know exactly what to avoid going forward. Be careful out there!
@Jandy Win Coach Lee's advice is sound and i believe that it can work when the relationship was between two people who both have the capacity for empathy. My ex is a narcissist and her game is about punishing me over and over again. She also cannot feel love for another or for herself. So it was all a lie. She never really loved or cared for me. And keep in mind the narcissist never lets his/her victims go and she still pops up on my radar every now and then, testing the waters with me. She just wants to see if I'm weak or stupid enough to take her back after the abuse she's dished out on me. She's been blocked everywhere. Good riddance.
I had very short relationship, about a month, intense relationship with calls and dates, that ended because I couldn't settle for less than being appreciated, sometimes he was canceling dates at last minute .. we ended because I hate that, I did argue about that stuff and never called, but he did, he waited first moment to get near me again. I recommend if you like him/her and you made the mistake call and don't wait a second but try to fix the problem, if they made it don't ever call, don't settle for less. Even if it's short with some people you can feel the connection don't lose that
Tina G. My relationship was 2 months of constant texting and it then consisted of meeting up and sleeping over 5 times. It was intense, beautiful and unlike anything I have felt before. We held hands and when we were together it felt like we were in a relationship. I think that's where it went wrong. Too fast I think. She ended by saying she was not ready for a relationship and that she needed to sort herself out and that she actually wanted to be single. She said she was not only doing it for my feelings but hers as well. At least this meant she was feeling the same. We chatted for a few weeks after this then she stopped responding. So I am into day 12 of no contact and it's hard. It's been 14 days since she text me. I have never felt this level of connection ever in my lifetime so do I continue with the no contact hoping she will reach out? Please help...
I was going out with this girl for a month, very intense relationship, then she distanced herself to an extreme to the extent of ignoring me etc.. and dumped me after a month of going out (wanted to stay friends, I kindly didn't agree). Started no contact immediately then she contacts me after 6 days, but didn't have it in me to take her back as I was able to see her true colors (which I am not gonna mention). Not only no contact works, but it allows you to see things clearly as they really are by keeping your integrity and heart intact. Please respect yourself when you get dumped and allow time to reflect, to withdraw yourself inwards, it is magical, it sets you free.
@@igorbalanovski182 I've done everything for her, gave her what she wanted, respect, money, love, care, but I don't get much from her and she started to pull-away, then I started to do that too now in NC 3 weeks will never contact her unless she contacts me, i have to much respect for myself and I won't allow anyone to play me like that or disrespect me:), thanks hope you'll find someone 10000x better too.
I loved your video but I have to disagree with this one. Even if it’s a short-tem relationship, you should just go to no contact and move on. Don’t ever text them first, don’t even wait for them to reach out. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship was, it only matter what the interest level was.....If they love you, they’ll comeback
Sneaky Beaky , I don’t disagree with you but coach Lee did say at 8:59 they might want to reach out but not know what to say and feel awkward about the breakup, what do you have to lose by giving it one more try, relationships are sometimes difficult right? But if you have lots of options I say yeah, move on.
B K totally. And if both of you spend months building and building from that moment, not caring for anything else and projecting the future day after day with a huge smile on your face, you know it.
I’m on day 15 of no contact. He sees my snap stories here and there. I’ve been posting my great life on their too. He’s probably wondering what I’ve been up to. Also please don’t tell people “Just block him.” “Just forget about him.” Because that doesn’t help the person who’s going through the break up. It only makes them feel worse.
Angiel_ions-m Why would you do that in No Contact? You're supposed to be away from each other to think, and not do things like that. Please stop what you're doing or you will lose. Take care of your Heart..❤
Thanks coach lee. You are a lifesaver. During this sudden breakup. I wanna see no one and just stay alone. Watching your video is my routine now and feeling like I m getting my strength back by doing what you said
The emotions were really intense, but we never said things like “I love you.” But I got clingy and demanding, so it ended quickly. He was right to end it for that reason. I didn’t beg and plead at least. I tried to remain friends with him for about a week after things ended and realised that was stupid and went NC. Wrote him a clean slate letter talking about how I need some space before we become friends. I think we could work again tho. I’m learning about my negative dating habits in therapy and really starting to understand some things. Going to rekindle a friendship first since we were only together for a month. I want to learn how to take things more slowly and really get to know someone. And if we only remain friends, I am okay with that. People are quick to throw around the word narcissist and someone they’re mad at. I’ve had plenty of relationships and break ups and I’ve only dated one person who I believe to be a narcissist. And even if he wasn’t, he was emotionally abusive and an alcoholic. I was right to leave him and go no contact forever.
Is it too late to write a clean slate message (or any kind of) after 3-4 weeks after the breakup? (Dating lasted 3 months) I blew the breakup by being upset. 2 days later I apologized for behaving immature via phone. But right after it I tried to convince her (kind of pleaded) so I have no idea how much I undid my apology. (Our last conversation was an off topic though that went smooth.)
@@amyhintz471 Well, she found another guy one week after our breakup. Anyway I haven't sent her a clean slate message, nothing. Then, while her being in that new relationship, she broke no contact after 9 months. I replied in an upbeat way but didn't initiate any further conversation. I saw no reason to do that. By that time I was dating someone else and got to know a lot other good people. Also learnt a lot about myself and I have no intention to get her back even if she wanted. 1,5 year ago I thought this state of mind will never come. Yet it did. I was listening Coach Craig Kenneth and Coach Corey Wayne frequently. I also recommend The Love Chat and the Dating Guy. All of them are great. They participated very much in my recovering. Coach Lee is good but he has some contradictions.
@@amyhintz471 No problem. You just have to be strong and have self-respect. I know it's hard in the beginning. It was one hell of a roller coaster for me too haha, but it's only a state of mind which changes. So the aftermath of a breakup can be a blessing in the long run. People can learn a lot from it. The way the human brain works is kinda tricky.
I am now 8 days into No Contact. It is the most difficult thing to do but i know it's right. The relationship lasted just over 2 months but it was very intense and things were moving really fast and I think this ended up really scaring her (even though we were both responsible for this). It was an amazing relationship as she was basically the girl version of me and she would always say i was the guy version of her because of how similar we are. She even said I was the guy version of her when she broke up with me. I did beg her to not leave and that we could take it slow on the day she broke up with me but after that i went straight into No contact. I've been really down this week but have been spending more time with friends and family. Any time i feel really down I put on Coach lee's video and it helps me to stay in No Contact. Naturally i want her back but its only been 8 days and who knows what i'll be thinking after a month or so of no contact. I hope everything turns out for the better for me and for anyone else going through this pain right now. Thanks a lot for your help Coach Lee!
Going through the exact same thing. Just got out of an intense 2 month relationship with someone and it was one of the most exhilarating situations ever. We both moved 0-100 and things moved way too fast. Unfortunately it ended due to a mistake they made and we're trying to stay friends. I'm 10 days into no contact and it's very hard. But I wish you all the best and just remember to take it day by day!
@@youtubesucks2755 Hey, i've decided to move on, although thinking about what happened can still be a little difficult but no way near as difficult as it was straight after the break up. After taking a break from dating for about for about 4-5months and just focusing on myself and getting back into the gym I decided to start dating again and I'm now talking to a lovely girl so we'll see where this leads. I've decided to respect myself and know my worth rather than wait on someone that hurt me and started seeing someone 3 weeks later. There are people out there that will like you for being you so my advice is to not wait on someone who didn't appreciate you.
Same as I had ,my relationship lasted for 2 months and we had a great time for ourselves and I think you words are like the exact thing my ex gf used to tell me but she break up with no reason and I find out that she wanted to go back to her ex bf but her ex is serious dating n I found out that my ex is begging her ex bf to come back but it’s not working for her but as I am talking she has block me and it’s been 10 days now with no contact
It worked for me. 2 months of dating with love bombing and hot cold games. It was toxic. I got obsessed but managed to keep emotions for myself. We decided to stay friends. 5 weeks of low contact : I reacted few time to their story to make a friendly jokes, we’ve met once for a friendly talk, they were reacting a lot to my social media, I was answering politely to direct messages, then I stopped posting I wanted to detox from internet. I was working on my life, was fighting the attachment by going to new dates even if motivation was low. But when I finally felt free of all this they reached excused and said wanted me back to their life. But now I’m just so unmotivated and scared to get in the same trouble. I said we can try going very slowly.
aka_anka, you do not want to get involved with a person with narcissistic traits, even on a friendly basis. You said it, "Toxic." BE very careful. I know bcse I've been there..
My success story: Not sure who will see this message but I had a 1 month talking stage/situation ship with this girl. Connection was intense and I ended up scaring her away asking too soon for exclusivity and trying to exert a boundary. 1 month and a half of no contact, I promise it felt like she couldn't care less. I felt so discarded. I kept doing me, leveling up. Quiet on social media, only posting social activities and at one point I decided to just forget about her loving how empowered I felt and she ended up reaching out. Now I m not even sure I want her back, it feels like she s 2 weeks too late. A reminder to everybody to love themselves. No contact works once your energy moves on. Thank you coach Lee, you truly helped me with my self esteem during this time and your advice, listen to this man people, don't get influenced by naysayers in the comment
How long did it take her to come back? İm in almost the exact same situation but she messaged me just under 3 months ago telling me she needed time. Not sure whether or not to move on
I am gonna take a moment to share my story. My ex and I were together for 2 months. It was the most intense thing I have ever experienced. The passion, the intimacy, and the connection was something I have never experienced. I realized I was love bombed, so it ended as fast as the relationship began. I respected her choice for the breakup. She was 6 years older than me with 3 adult children. I have no children of my own. She basically lost emotional attraction for me and felt we weren’t on the same page. I have been into No contact for 3 weeks now and this has been the most difficult situation I have ever experienced. I am getting stronger focusing on myself, but I get relapses. Coach Lee your videos keep me going. I pray and hope I hear from her again.
Ye bro thats why u always gotta go into those new things ready to walk away as fast as u walked in. U gotta be ready to let anything go at the drop of a dime in life, even family but especially women. But the beautiful thing about the ladies is theres always like a zillion more to take her place, theres so many theres really no reason to stress out over one. If u could walk into a store that u are surrounded by a million dollars and one dollar flys out the door, would u really stand still and stress about that lost dollar or turn around and focus on the parade of dollars in front of you?
I've been in almost six months of long-distance relationships. Met on a plane, two weeks of extensive chatting, then met in person, and right before the pandemic we clicked. She stayed at my place two times 14+ days and visited almost every weekend all spring. I came to visit her three times and even met the parents, I would visit more often but she has roommates. Then during summer she was working two jobs and had less time but we chatted and called each other frequently. She took few days off for my birthday and things were super smooth. Then we got a few fights, and I noticed we were getting more and more little bit stingy arguments. After apologizing, and trying to clear things out she said "we all just human and everything is ok" right before she left at the end for July. Two weeks later she texted that she does not feel good about us. After trying to figure out why three days after communication over messages she pooored a lot of shit down my way saying things like "I didn't like my pajamas shorts cuz you don't like my body" and stuff like that. Very toxic I think. After almost a month of trying to sort things out, she finally said that option to get back together is not realistic and since then I am in two weeks of NC. We didn't have exact plans for marriage, but we had discussed kids and even picked names for one. It was a dream, but ended as a nightmare.
Thank you for bringing up the whole narcissism thing... everyone who’s been broken up with here on UA-cam uses that as an excuse. I couldn’t have said it more perfectly. Just because they don’t want you doesn’t make them a narcissist.... my person is REALLY SELF ABSORBED but I wouldn’t call him a narc..
Seen this video after using no contact for 5 months and i used it since it appealed to my situation. I reached out after 5 months. I was really healed at that time and was starting to really move on. I thought she was missing me from her posts etc and i reached out. It worked out and we had great dates. Interest was all time high. I've done things i never thought i can redeem myself and was constantly in regret. But no contact made good memories win over bad memories. We're back together. Now it's just time to not do the same mistakes and keep improving myself. Having experiences bla bla. We shouldn't have problem in the long rong run. Let's see how this turns out.
Edit we broke up. I was the one who broke up. Not because i didnt love her anymore but she was done. Ghosting, unrespectable moves etc. It was worse than last time. I dont think it was a problem in my end. It is what it is
Dam broke the No Contact rule last night after a few Red wines absolutely gutted! However, never received a txt back so unsure what to think but at the same time I'm glad as I will never do it again. It was only a short term relationship but she really broke my heart and has taken me quite awhile to get over her..I hope I never see her again.
5 months long distance relationship met her family and everything, going on 10 days no contact I haven’t texted or called her I thought everything was one day she called me and it was over I sent her flowers on the 6th of this month and told her I wasn’t happy how things ended and I wanted to talk in person, so take your time when ever she’s ready and I said I loved her. I’ve just been working on myself, trying to do this no contact thing, and I watch these videos over and over again to prevent me from reaching out to her I haven’t talked to her 10 days I’m trying my best.
@@RealCoachLee we were in a short term relationship, but our feelings were intense. He told me hes in love. I just feel like hes not even thinking about me. But I will give him time, I just dont know how much time.
@@RealCoachLee Lee this is what happened. He has a child with another woman, and he's trying to figure out how to get his child back into his life. Its complicated. He said with all of that going on he can't make me a priority and it isn't fair to me. He said he'd like to be with me in the future. He said if I'm not over him in a few months maybe we could be together. Im confused because he said it was hard for him to break up with me. Is there hope?
Thank you coach lee! this truly worked for me, my boyfriend and i already discussed marriage and all the juicy stuffs within 7 weeks of dating also long distance and he broke it off for no tangible reason, though i broke no contact once and regretted it, i still continued after and he contacted me a day before my birthday and after couple of days, he told me how he still loves me and still told people we were together even though we werent, we are trying to move forward from here, so i am taking it slow from my end because i have the power now, though i was literally miserable after the break up but i kept watching coach lee videos and praying to God, its been one month and we are back on track!so no contact is good for both parties.
I was in a good relationship for just shy of 2 months. I've been in no contact for a week over a month now. I started it the minute I walked out her front door. She showed strong indications of fear of commitment before breaking up with me. Wish me luck.
How’s it going? I’m on day 39. It’s still hard for me but I’m sticking with it. My ex said the timing was bad and I needed to heal from my last relationship (the one before him).
It's going weirdly. She's doing the warm and cold bit right now. I run into her at church, so I'm doing the best I can. Her body language indicates attraction, but she's seriously suppressing her feelings. This one's weird.
Coach Lee: Reaching out does not make you weak. It does not make you look needy. Also Coach Lee in other other videos: If you message them, you will feel weak it makes you look needy.
I was seeing a Woman for 2 months including her love bombing, telling me she has strong feelings and getting jealous of other Women. Then she said she is not ready right now for a relationship so we ended up leaving things. She texted me about 5 days later asking if i'm ok and since that discussion there has been no contact for 3 weeks. I also work with the Woman.. If things are meant to be, they will be.
I'm not even sure if my case qualifies as "short term" or not. We dated 6 months, broke up, then a few months later started talking again, but I friend zoned myself pretty hard for a full year. Recently stood up for myself and went into N/C, telling her I thought the world of her but I wasn't down for just being friends, and to get in touch if she changed her mind.
I was so lucky I found no contact before he “needs a break” I immediately said “ok i understand “ immediately and told them they can let me know when they wanna talk and left it at that. I had a guy that I didn’t like after we were seeing each other for 3 months and he went no contact and it drove me crazy! It works
@@stardust86x yes its so hard but ..one day at a time. I was on the brink of death from my broken heart. I contemplated suicide n i begged God to help me bcoz i dont wanna die but the hurt is overwhelming..im glad i didnt follow thru as im stronger now but still working on it. I give in to texts but i will never chase a man who dont want me ever again. They love that shit..they get ego fuel from it... time helps heal but its a process..these videos have helped me immensely along with prayer ... God bless you
Yeah, I just made the comment too. Usually I agree with Coach Lee when it comes to everything except this part about reaching out. He dumped me and while we stayed friendly with each other, he was the dumper so why should I reach out to him? As much as I miss him, I know I’ll eventually move on. Well I hope I will because it was very short term and as intense as it was, I don’t ever want him thinking I’m desperate. I think that gives too much power to the dumper.
Been 6 months since I was cheated on and dumped. Moved back to the east coast and am now. Moving on greatly without being contacted. However thoughts of her haunt me....
He told me he does not want to see me twice in just two months. First time I could not do no contact because he was constantly contacting me. Second time I did no contact after one day. He ran back to me after a week being better than ever. Don’t force anything, trust no contact. It will get your self respect back as well as your ex. Worked for me every time until I was the one who eventually made a definitive decision to end it. Be positive and stay strong!
And lets be honest....that's the case 90% of the time for women. Almost every woman I have ever met, whether I've dated them, or not tends to bury the memory and hurt of their last relationship, by covering it over with their next. That's not a trait generally associated with men. Sure, a guy might get into some physical short term, distraction to blow off some steam, but we don't invest. We don't commit and you can be damn sure that when we're alone, there's only one person on our mind. We tend to reflect and really put thought into things....even when the pain eat us up from the inside. Women on the other hand tend to jump right into the next and attempt to catch things up with their new relationship (physical, emotional, plans for the future, etc), right where their old one left off. They convince themselves that they're able to move on, like its nothing....It's like there is no down time. The problem is, women tend to internalise. They begin backing out of the relationship, even before its ended. So by the time the moment actually comes, they haven't been emotionally invested for weeks...sometimes months. For men on the other hand, the end of the relationship doesn't actually become a reality, until the day it happens....sometimes even after that. So by the time it really sinks in for us and we go into "I need to fix this" mode, she's already moved on with the next guy. It's shitty how differently men and women are wired sometimes.
Mine lasted for 5 months and the distance was 5000km. I am in no contact with her for 6 months and counting! That's longer time than the whole relationship was! Hopless! Forget about it and move on! That's the best advice I can give you!
I had a 5 month intense relationship with a girl. So far 8 Days of No contact. I really struggling everyday because I miss her so much and I lover her. We had several plans in the future. She told me that we still can "Hangout and have fun". But first I will take my time to heal, get my fitness back and increase my income.I want regain my confidence and maybe I will reach out to her again soon. Now I prefer to have some distance because my emotions are all over the place.
After 30 days of no contact she contacted me but i was begging again because i didnt know what to do and than i starter no contact and now its been 4 and a half weeks and i know that was a mistake i was emotional, now all i can do is to recover and dont have a choice to go back. 💔 All i can do is take it as a lesson
Was seeing this girl from my work for about three months, very intense relationship. Everything about it was good. I had a bit of a bad week made a mistake and she ended it with me. Said she feel like something has changed between us? 13 days in NC and it hurts badly, especially when you have to see them three days a week. Any help would be really appreciated
Really good points coach lee. I met a girl in may, we talked for a bit and got on well so met up. When I left she text me saying I was really easy to get along with & enjoyed herself, that she felt a spark. I said she was really nice and we talked more & eventually started dating. I’d consider it a whirlwind, she gave me a house key, introduced me to her daughter and I was staying there 3 nights a week. We were messaging daily really easy flowing happy conversations, with a bit of soppy in between. She said that she’s never felt happier and seeing how I am with her daughter makes her hopeful for the future etc. That I’m different and she never wants to lose me, joked about what engagement ring she’d want and what our kid would look like. I asked her out once and she said not atm because she had court issues going on with her daughter, and I said fine I understand, and we were normal again after that. Dated for 4 months, I took her to a hotel for a break and her mood had changed in the last 2 days. She wouldn’t be in the same room as me, wasn’t speaking much or her normal happy self. I asked what was wrong but she said nothing and I didn’t want to push it. I dropped her home after the hotel & in the night I noticed her key was missing. I asked what was wrong & she said she felt unhappy with other aspects of life, I hadn’t done anything but wanted to focus on her daughter, but I am worth it to her she just needed space. So I did some minor begging (more convincing) which of course didn’t work, so I said okay I understand, and went NC. Within 6 weeks, she had deleted me on all social media. I have not spoken to her since sep 15th. I messaged her this Monday & said hey, how are things? And she blocked me on messenger. So the next day I text her to say “didn’t mean to annoy you, just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Hope you & your daughter have a good Christmas” She send back a horrible message, basically saying she told me from the start that she didn’t want anything, that she didn’t have feelings for me & that I was making her miserable & was clingy, was always at her house etc. When I tried to say that makes no sense because I’ve got tons of messages of her saying she wanted a future etc, she said not to bring up the past & she never saw anything with me & that she’s happier now and doesn’t want to speak to me again. Just really hurtful messages that I think are uncalled for.. So I have no faith in love now ha. If someone can be that brutal towards me & put some nasty allegations my way, I’m better off on my own
Darien Price Bro I feel it. I was in a situation similar like that. Here’s what I learned Z It’s not on you though bro. She’s insecure. She’s pushed you away because she has things about her that she needs to work on, so her mental state isn’t at a solid space. You’re too good for her bro at the end. You did everything right, she was feeling you enough to talk about the future, having keys etc... but she couldn’t stay true. It’s all good you’ll meet someone more stable, and with tons of less baggage. Look at this a better opportunity to get someone better and it’s definitely a learning experience. Just let her be if she’s pushing you away she’s probably hurt too, she just can’t deal with it right now. If she’s real she’ll come back. Coach has videos about that too. Stay up.
Anthony Hurtado Appreciate it man! She does have stuff going on in her life but I was supportive & helpful towards that! I did things wrong I’ll admit that, I was sometimes emotional or didn’t defuse little situations. But no ones perfect, and I’m not a bad guy I truly cared about her. But the things she said to me Tuesday we horrible. Like I even messaged at the end, regardless of whether you have feelings or not, there’s no need to speak to me or treat me this way. Even while she was being nasty I was keeping a level head! The most hurtful thing for me is that I spent months putting in effort, I spent time with her & her daughter, met her family, was staying and paying for things, we went on like days out etc, she met my family blah blah, and I really felt we had something good. When she ended it because of the way she did it & the complete flip, I thought I had done something. So I spent the last nearly 4 months depressed thinking that I’d fucked up and pushed away or lost someone perfect for me that I had a future with, and it was horrible blaming myself and beating myself up, not knowing whether I’d get a chance to put things right. Then I find out that she apparently never felt anything for me, never saw a future, and I’m this clingy obsessive person that won’t leave her alone. That I made her miserable & nothing can change her view etc, just hurts that after everything, that’s her opinion or final view of me.. But I hope one day she realises she’s made all that up & she lost something good.
Darien Price Nah it’s nothing on you she’s just a head case. You can’t keep beating yourself up over someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Her issues are so deep that you could be the perfect guy and she still won’t be truly happy because she hasn’t made the mind decision to go with you. Just let her do her thing, also most importantly do your thing! Move on, this situation proves that you’re a good guy and plenty of females would love to be with you. Just can’t be with someone toxic bro. It’s hard to swallow now but the universe is helping you. Look at it as a blessing in disguise. Just imagine if you did stay with her. Her misery would then be dropped into you. You’ll regret it. Plus if she’s already doing things so quick you know she wasn’t stable. I understand that it’s not always the case but in this time it is. She’s narcissistic, damaged. You don’t want that.
Anthony Hurtado she was amazing & lovely before I just don’t know what changed. Because it was so sudden that’s why I thought I’d done something. But from her messages she’s convinced herself it was coming for a while & ignored it. I’ve got messages from her that contradict everything she said! I really thought we had a future frm what she said to me and how she was with me. It’s literally like she woke up one day & hated me. I get that. Our misery would probably be shared as we’ve both got depression/anxiety ha. But really there’s no place for what she said to me. She even said that I was forcing sex, like I’d only try when she was asleep/half asleep and when she said no I wouldn’t stop? I was like what a horrible accusation to make towards someone. But again, anytime I said something that would combat what she said, she shut down and said I was bringing up the past or being obsessive. Mad though, Monday I was crying driving home, partly because I’d lost my uncle the day before but also because I’d messaged her & been blocked, so even after 4 months NC, it was clear she wasn’t going to speak, and I really missed her and was hating myself. As soon as she relied Tuesday and said all those horrible things and said that I was imagining the whole thing, that she never wanted a future etc, it flipped in my head that no matter how beautiful she is & the good memories I had, there is no need for that and she is a spiteful vindictive person deep down.
I came on to strong, I told her I loved her after a month, I really felt it and she told me that she loved me too. I think she was faking it. She said “I love being with you, but…….” I get why she broke up and found someone else. I scared the shit out of her. My bad…….
I need an opinion. I was seeing this guy for about four months. He was sweet and all. I traveled and came back after a month and he missed me a lot. But two weeks after I came back I started to feel insecure and thought he didn’t want anything serious and I said I didn’t want to see him again. He was very hurt. I regretted and reached out. He said he needed to think and wasn’t sure he wanted anything serious especially after what I did. I went through NC immediately. He reached out and I was nice and sweet, but just wanted to know how I was. He reached out again asking if I was going to this party and I was there. I told him I wanted to be with someone who would eventually want something serious. He didn’t say anything. Then said if I wanted his company I should ask him. I did and we had a wonderful time. He would pick me up in his arms, massage me, kiss me all over. Then he left and messaged me to ask if I was home already. I messaged him the next day. Then he never messaged me again and I didn’t either. After 10 days he messaged me last Saturday, but it was 1:30 am, so I only answered at 5pm on the next day. He took two hours to answer. (I know... games...). We talked briefly, but it was a nice chat. He said we should go to a karaoke, and I said yes, then I said I had to go meet my friends. Now I don’t know if I did it wrong, if I should wait again for him to reach out, cause I just want him to ask me out. He knows I like him, but I don’t wanna be vulnerable. If he reaches out again can I ask him out to have coffee? Should I reach out? Hmm
Yeah, I agree. I love Coach Lee and I agree with pretty much everything but as someone who was just recently dumped (we left it as amicable as possible), I refuse to reach out to him. I’d rather lose him completely then reach out to him. I think it gives him too much power and makes me look desperate. I’ve been going out and spending time with friends and exercising. I think the best medicine for moving on is to look after yourself. If he wants to make contact, then he needs to do it. Not me. Especially because he ended the relationship.
I survived from crying to being free! Free yourself! There is always gonna be change after break up even if there is reconciliation, only slight chances, sorry! They might miss u but they wont get back at you. GUARANTEED!!! Ive scanned all videos, only 1 or 2 survived. Mostly did not work. But bettering yourself. If you apply NC, the realization is too long and let's not be hypocrites! You are doing it for the dumper! Ive gone through all stages but move on after crying! 1 week or 2 weeks. You can truly be strong and move on after letting each other go. Mostly successful story is pinned. No photos. We dont know if its true. Some yes came back. But dump them again and realized,that they shouldnt have gone back together. REALIZE YOUR SELF WORTH. DO NOT PROLONG YOUR AGONY. DO NOT PUT POWER OVER DUMPER! YOU ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN LOWERING YOURSELF. Improve yourself for you. Most people who used NC realized at the end they dont need the dumper anymore. And some might get vengeful by waiting for the dumper to reach out and throw shade to them. Love yourself by letting yourself free! Dont put bondage on yourself!
In my experience (life): 2 month relationship: I broke up with him, he blocked me, 3 months NC, he wrote half-assed messages, came to my house (I didn't open the door), he had not changed, I'm done. 4 month relationship: I broke up with him, wanted him to change, then the breakup was mutual, no contact for more than 6 months (sometimes he contacted me again, which started after 2 months), he was with another person for more than 6 months, just broke up with her to be with me again - but I don't feel anything anymore. I think he changed so I will see where it goes.
This kind of videos are not truthful in reality alot of ex or past lovers don't come back because of various reasons, sometimes it's shame or pride or they were not really that into you to begin with nd you were never a loss to them. It's better to accept this sooner or you will waste your time waiting forever. I had to learn it that hard way, sometimes them not answering your phone calls or text might be a blessing in disguise.
Can you do a video on situationships? My person and I were never officially in a dating relationship but we were seeing each other for 8 months. I told him I wanted to slowly move towards a relationship and he said the same thing. He told me that I was the only person in his life that had ever truly accepted him and he knows I was the logical person to be in a relationship with, but he didn’t feel what he needed to in order to be in a relationship yet. That’s why we agreed to move slowly. We hung out 3 or 4 days a week for 8 months and I would describe that time as good and caring cuz he told me things he has never told anyone else. I really care about him. We aren’t talking now because I found out he was sleeping around at the end of the 8 months and we got in an argument. I can’t say we were in a relationship so I guess “seeing each other” is better. So would no contact work in this situation?
2 months relationship with a dismissive avoidant and 3 months of NC after the breakup 😢😞 i feel he's more distant now and I ruined my chances. I miss him so badly.
4 month relationship, everything was pretty much as close to perfect as I think is humanly possible, then it suddenly ended, no fights or anything. I’m on day 6 of no contact. I’ve wrote her a long message asking her to give us a chance to work on the relationship but I don’t know if I should send it as I’ve done this before in a previous relationship and just got hurt from the reply. The reason for the breakup was very vague, just said something felt wrong, I don’t know what to make of all of this and I don’t know how long I should go no contact because I genuinely do not want to lose this girl. This time last week she was telling me how much she loved me.
Yea dude basically the same happened to me with this guy. A week before the breakup we had a great date and everything seemed perfect, im not sure what i can do either. How are you doing now?
@@Devon-91-sent her a text asking to work things out two weeks after it ended and got not reply. Haven’t spoken to her since she broke up with me. It’s been nealry 6 months.
Same situation with me. Everything was great, then caught him in a deceptive situation and all the sudden told me he had cold feet and wants to be with me but needs to "think"...been 4 days no contact
Same. About 4 weeks of super intense convos and contact them got hit with “it’s not over it’s just not happening right now” I didn’t exactly react gracefully now I’m a week in trying not to lost my sanity because it wasn’t the things we said it was HIM AS A HUMAN BEING that had me hooked. His vibes, smell, thoughts, pain. I’m so devastated.
Omg- coach Lee- I been watching ur video I had my boyfriend for only 2month he broke up me . So use no contact so after 3 week he contacted me. He have Long message to explain what happened his mind. He say millions sorry to me. He regrets everything. I followed what ur said need have some dignity, workout yourself, but a lot need to work it won’t happened again to me. It very painful
Coach Lee- I want to talk you I need to ready my self how to interact this guy He is highly person.. I don’t to make a mistake again. What happed is loss law attraction only. Base only observation. So reply to him polite, and nice. To him.
I think it would be a really bad idea if I reached out to him at any time it's his choice if he wants to come back to me he was angry the day of The Break-Up and I don't want to catch him off guard or make him feel more angry
In 2 months I am taking an entrance exam for nursing and if I get in, I was planning to use that time to text him and not until then. I hope he contacts me first. But I feel like this could make him see we can have a future.
For me it worked differently 😅 2 months relationship, we had an argument and he ghosted me for 5days. I break NC and he started to speak with me again , but I kept the conversation in a friendly way, and a little cold. Now he is pursuing me again. 🤷♀️
same here. she went cold & acted distant. i played cool but then she started ignoring my messages & leaving me on read. so i sent her this “i believe that you’ve made up your mind to be like this recently & you’ve the right to do whatever that suits you, but equally, i also have the right to do whatever suits me. so there’s no need for the thing between us to be going because now, you’re not the person i knew & wanted.” then i blocked her on social media except for her phone number to see if she’s willing to reach out. i really don’t know that blocking her was a good idea or not, but in this age & the experiences i’ve had, shit like this i’ll never ever tolerate even though for the fact that i really like her & she got great qualities & adorable personality. i truly believe in NC, but in my situation, this time i doubt it.
Giving me hope man leaving her alone for a month I messed up begging she got somebody else now but I know I got best intentions for her and her future I just hope she returns
He broke up with me after dating for 3 months, because he didn't have the "right" feelings for me. Currently in week 7 of NC, and I want to fight for the relationship, because I just belive that the timing was wrong. I now feel that the break-up had to happen, because he was my rebound after a break-up, and that I needed time to find out who I am after a 6 year long relationship (with another man). I met him 2 weeks after my previous break-up, and because he had taken a 2 1/2 month summer vacation before starting a new job, and I was a student, we had the time to spend most days of the week together. We even went on a week long trip together, and we met each others families. I'm so confused, and I don't understand how I didn't noticed that his feelings had changed. There are no videos on youtube where the ex is the rebound (I don't think he belives that he is one).
It worked for me. I recently got a call from him out of the blue and chatted for awhile. I quit calling and put my FB on silence in case he could see it. So far so good but I'm still feeling like I'm in the friend zone.
I am the one that walked away because he thought I was forcing a relationship. I didn’t think I was, but he perceived in that way. He said everything was perfect until he felt the pressure (he was happy with “pre-relationship”, he said). We dated for about 4 months only but we really enjoyed being with each other. It’s been almost 4 weeks and either one of us has made a move, perhaps because we both have abandonment issues. If he was the one that broke up with me, I’d never look back, because of my fear of rejection. He’s perhaps thinking the same way... how does no contact work if we are both in the same position and with the relationships being short term?What should I do?
If he felt the pressure he won't call, and if you left he will think it's because of pride... So you can call but try to be as friendly as you can, talk with him don't mention getting back together, you can invite him to coffee, and than see where he is. If you get back with him again try to be relaxed invest in him with same speed he is investing in you, try to be the follower, let him lead. Tell me if this helps :) Wish you luck
Tina G thanks. He actually reached out, called out of the blue. I texted back; he said he was in my neighborhood and he wanted to say hi. I was cordial, but nothing else.
Tina G thank you. I’m not all that excited, it was a “just wanted to say hi” type of text. It’s been a few days and haven’t made any contact. Let’s see what happens. Thank you 😊
@@kudaswrath77 I know it's always like that, enjoy your free time, I am in a same situation, believe me they all need time, its their loss if they cant see how wonderful we are ...
I have been in a relationship from February 2015 till November 2015, and i know my ex from 2012 onwards. Well, i was 21 years old and she was 15 years old in 2015 but our relationship was later on caught by her parents and gave her advice and she got influenced to them. I really love her and wish to live along with her by being in her side. But unfortunately all the planning went upside out. She blocked me in every sites like Facebook, Instagram, telegram. She rejects my calls and was showing hatred towards me and recently i came to hear something from her friend like i was being a flirt that's why. Well, i should let you know i ain't a guy like that though. Only thing i know is that really love her a lot and my mind beats for her. I tred to not contact her after she started refusing me but i know i can't live without her. I am always having a tendency to call and talk to her but she always tells me that i am pestering her. I want the things to be back to normal like we were before. Any advices or suggestions from your side Coach?
Day 4 of no contact...& I'm feeling numbed now. Last 3 days have been hell though.... He hasn't contact me yet. I just logged in FB and he's there.. So I don't know if it will happen..
I was hesitant about these vids, but christ do they work for anxiety and overthinkers. Work on yourself , you are your own worst enemy in these situations.
I am so sick of all these videos saying that the reason you're not getting your ex to come back is because you're begging and pleading. No, I never did that, I backed off immediately, even though he said we would talk in person, I went no contact and never heard from him. Please update content, stop assuming that everyone is begging and constantly reaching out. Not everyone does that. Also, no contact itself does not work. No one reaches out, no one comes back. When it's done, it's done. No one cares about each other beyond what is convenient for them.
How long have you been in no contact and how long was your relationship? Coach Lee says that you should reach out to them after 45-60 days if you feel you have nothing to lose. It’s possible he thinks you want nothing to do with him and are over him
Does no contact work even if it was only 2/1 2 months and towards the last two weeks you two argued a lot? (I became paranoid and Clingy and the last argument he said this isn't right)
She left me nothing was official but she tells me she misses me, the reason she left was me being distance and and us not being able to really see each other
@@bu6587 I was like "hey it's been a long time, christmas is coming up and I'm very excited, I have done this and this with friends, learned this and this and I wish you and your family a merry christmas :)" and she was like "err, okay, thanks, you too"
@@RexTribution well same thing happened to me, she was like you too then i said I'm too much excited and she was like cool now goodnight, she has a new bf now so it's a normal behaviour of the dumper to run so I'll wait until that other guy becomes needy and all then maybe i have a chance till then i'm doing nc
We saw each other for about a year, though not often due to busy schedules and some distance. He told me I was the most wonderful woman he'd ever been with, that he'd never felt this way before- and then told me to stop trying to reach out, and he didn't want to continue with me. So I didn't contact him for a month. Nothing. I'm sure that surprised him. He turned up at the social event and I was cordial, detached, not sending any vibes his way. He ended up getting tipsy, coming on to me, wanting to get close to me. We spent some time together that night, and then he shut down again. I told him I was going to be busy for a few weeks and "maybe" I'd get in touch. I realized I don't feel the same about him. I love him, but I'm tired of his hot-cold.
TART111, It sounds like he has a problem with intimacy. I wouldn't get involved with someone like that, not romantically. You're smart to tell him you're busy for a few weeks. Try to keep your connection to a minimum.
We were talking for 3 months, but it felt like a relationship. Texted everyday, I met his friends, he was already talking about summer and future things. We had sex unfortunately as well. He said he seen us being something, but two days after we celebrated Valentine’s Day, I had to ask him if he was still interested. Note: I had felt a change a couple of days leading up to our Valentine’s Day celebration and thought maybe we just needed to see each other for things to go back to normal…. Wrong. I got him a really thoughtful and sweet gift and he got me nothing. Don’t even think he felt bad. (Guys get cold and stoic when they pull away). After finally getting him to be honest and upfront, I said my god riddances and haven’t reached out. What do you think of this?
Before me, he was in a 6 year Relationship and after two weeks we already talked about moving together and he put so much effort in me and was so in love. Till a friend of him talked bad about me. Then he dumped me.
She Just reached Out after a month and send me a longer Message for my Birthday - she asked me how im doin and If im feelin better etc. I Just thanked her shortly but politely
Hi Lee, could you make a video about no contact during christmas time? What it means if they dont reach out and how holidays will effect no contact in general? Marry Christmas!
@@yiningzhang5891 im sorry for you :( i reached out after about 2 and a half month of no contract. But just because I wasnt attached to an outcome anymore. She was also extremely distant to me. Fells like a complete different person. But it actually helped me to realize that the person I loved was long gone. I don't want her back the way she is right now. Hope you'll feel better soon!
@@LucaAmadeus thanks a lot. I also realized that we couldn't work out. It was a short-term relationship and he would go back to his country after he finish his exchange and internship in China.
Inspiration for you guys: Most of my shortest relationship interests (1 week - 1 month) have come back within a few months. They've come back more than my longer relationship partners have.
Thankyou for this. Because even if we weren’t together long enough to build a super strong connection I believe we had one starting and if he would come try again we could have the best connection :)
What if your a rebound
@@shaut9120 rebounds typically don’t get their ex’s back if you are an actual rebound where they don’t feel majorly for you
@@ForeverLele1238 even though he swore up and down the whole time we were together that i’m not and that he made our relationship so real and I met all his friends and daughter etc and was talking and making me believe a future together
@@shaut9120 I don’t know enough to know the answer to that for you...
I can't believe I'm back to watching these videos again.... I really wanted this one to work but my anxious attachment style refuses to let me be happy.
how are you doing now?
Same here but I’m recognizing the pattern now and working with a therapist to break the cycle so I can find health and freedom in my relationships going forward ❤
same here, I watched this video 2 years ago and here I'm again after another breakup
It’s so messed up
It's pretty good advice BUT I don't agree with initiating contact with someone that dumped you. I've done it in the past and even if you are casual with them, it still gives that ex a sense of ego power, and the idea that you will always initiate. If the ex knows you're cool and they haven't made an effort to reach out to you, then they're not ready to talk to you properly and they don't miss you enough. High value men and women have other options and are too busy with life to be lingering around contacting ex's. If you linger around you will kill your chances of respect and value, and they won't miss you enough. Allow their anxiety to get bad that they need to contact you. If that doesn't happen then they didn't value what you had enough.
Caroline Milster I understand what you’re saying, and you’re basically right. But I’ve been really detaching from my emotions and thinking about a lot of things, also regarding the way I see, act and communicate in life. While your comment will be true in about 90% of the situations...it also has a perspective that all people are - and process things - the same. Which for the past 2 months, I’ve been really comprehending; they’re not! A lot of people (and you also in your comment) fill in others emotions, value of you, way of thinking and motives according to their own. But people can be very different and behave in a very different way. React to situations the complete opposite we would. Miscommunication plays a part as well. Maybe something was said or done that gave them a very wrong impression about the other...it hurt them...they didn’t communicate it so we are not aware...and then more and more we start to think for the other person and all of our insights get further detailed.
In some cases... it’s good to question yourself: am I absolutely 100% sure that THEY know exactly how I feel about them and the situation? Is there 100% clarity and no misconception about anything? And then off of that, reach out...if then they are not open to a connection, you’re sure and can move on.
But most people are so stuck on their tunnel-vision, they can’t see past their hurt ego and see things from the others POV.
Also..respect?? Why would you lose respect if you just try to make up with someone you really care about??
People need to stop seeing kindness as weakness and stop letting something like this define if they should be respected or not.
In my opinion it does not define that, and if anything...it makes you a better and stronger person, because you risk getting hurt, rejected and making a fool of yourself.. all because you want to do something good and want to
express you care. That’s never a bad thing (unless you do it 15 times a week ofcourse 😜)
Anthony •_•_•_• I am reading your comment again and I 100% agree. Reaching out doesn’t mean you are weak, needy, and desperate ( unless you do it 5 times a day). And if both you are nice people and if you handle things like adults, I don’t think there will be negative reactions or consequences if you do so. And EVEN IF the other person response negatively, so what? They gonna forget within a second, and you will too. Nowadays people are overwhelmed with information online and they no longer follow their heart. Everyone teaches them how to protect their heart and avoid getting hurt. But what they really need to do is to learn how to be comfortable getting hurt, getting rejected, feeling like fool etc. They need to learn how to be OK without feeling OK.
@@karenzhang1020 what if she knew someone else? We've been toghether 5 months. We fell in love. I still love her actually but I went no contact because she's dating another guy
Marwan How long have you been breaking up? Did she end things with you or you ended it?
Hi
I am very new to this thing of relationship for 3 months. I started something with this man and it all happened a month after he had broken up with someone which I later found out it where I should have gone slow. Believe me I have tried and he did too but as he mentioned before the connection was to strong to resist. I have been in contact with him for a month now and we had a couple conversations. In these conversations I have to told him that I acknowledge why he let me go, for the fact he has been in and out relationships and didn't actually take time to deal with them also that I know he is doing this as he wants to focus more on his career path. I have also expressed my true feelings for fact that I have fallen for him and that's what made it hard to take it slow. I have also opened up a conversation if he is open for friendship as he said he is. So last week on the 22nd of March l decided to not talk with him at all. Some it's not too late to still give him no contact space. Let me know what you're thoughts are?
His advice is the real deal. All you can really do, especially if you did make mistakes post breakup; is no contact.
I went with the “let me know if you change you mind” at the breakup, and then did the dumb “good reminder” text after 16 days of NC. You have to do NC, that’s the only answer. Especially if it has worked before, and especially if you had set the best standard for your ex regarding what they are looking for.
If your ex has said the words “I like everything about you” or “you are what I have been looking for”; give them the gift of missing you.
Oh yeah I completely understand. I took the low road and decided to send her mom a FB message with the truth about her and what she has hid from her parents for so long. I did it to let go, it was the only way after 5 months of caring and being blocked out of their life over 1 argument.
thanks bro
yeah that's true, my ex spoke A LOT about me to her two best friends. about holding the car's passenger door for her, the street rule (walking on the side of the street on sidewalk), planning dates at places. she loved those things and they liked it too for her because she never had those especially with a toxic past. good reminder from you to give them the gift of missing us as i'm only two week into NC and i find it hard sometimes, but time will work its magic and make her remember those subtle but powerful things mentioned above.
This comment feels like a godsent. She always talked abt how I’m the sweetest and most interesting guy she’s ever met, how she’s never spoken so highly of anyone and never had a feeling this special before. She knows I have some insecurities from past relationships and always made sure to remind me that I’m everything she wants in a guy and more. I hurt her by starting a few big fights/taking stress out on her for a few weeks, but I’m hoping that in her eyes our relationship was good enough that it’s worth giving a chance. The last 2 months have been hard. I didnt beg or plead but I did reach out once or twice in the first month to tell her how I feel, and she didn’t respond either time. A month later I ended up reaching out bc something bad had happened and I knew I could talk to her abt it. We had a short conversation and she seemed kinda cold, but then she looked at my insta story a few days later so maybe she’s starting to feel better. All I can do is leave her alone and hope that our relationship is as special to her as it to me.
Exactly what this guy who just dumped me yesterday has said before. “You're definitely much more than I could wish for.” When he said let’s split up, I texted him asking why for a bit, then called which of course he didn’t answer. And once he said, “I’m physically and mentally drained and tired.” I went cold Turkey. No messages, no calls. Bet he’s wondering why now. Hahahaha. Wish me luck!
I have found girls I’ve dated in short term (up to 3 months) and have broken things off, they almost always reach out again. Sometimes I’m over it and don’t bother but sometimes we see each other again. Essentially, it’s because there’s still enough mystery and curiosity there about what things could have been and so they often come back. Also what’s very common is that they will go on a couple dates with others and realise you were much better and then they realise they acted too quickly.
Amen 🙏
After how long?
Even if they block you after arguments? Dated for 2-3 months and had post break up arguments which led to her blocking me. Just letting it happen now not even trying to get around the block
@@Redhawk0117 did you hear back?
After how long?
Yes! No contact worked for me, thank youu. We have known each other about six months, two/three days in a week. It takes 21 days and he contacted me, after casual texts and meeting he told me, he wants to try live together! And yes, he went through the stages (curiosity..), that Coach Lee describes after break up. Be strong and believe :))
Was it a messy break up? Any begging and pleading?
@@Adultsodas Yes, it was messy from my part. During and right after break up I was crying and begging several days. In spite of that, no contact worked :).
@@kac9277 damn were u pissed off when she broke up with you?
Btw happy for you!
I'd say the chances they contact you are favorable more than 50%. Especially if you both got on very well
6 month intense and accelerated relationship. Went no contact for 12 days (being broken up for 25 days). She messaged me asking how I'm doing on the 12 day. NC and Coach Lee's advice works!
How did things work out?
update?
I responded and she went cold on me again. Didnt hear from her for months. I stayed no contact over Christmas and broke it after 4 months of no contact by calling her. She didnt hang up on me but wasnt happy to hear from me either. I went NC again. We've since had contact here and there but always ends up with her getting my hopes up and then crushing them by going silent.
The thing with my case guys, is that she's isnt a mentally healthy girl and ive since realised that she is in fact a narcissist. Look up narcissism on youtube. It all makes sense to me now. She will always be back but its a dangerous game to accept her back into my life. The dynamics of the emotionally abusive narcissistic relationship also explained to me why i was addicted to her. In saying all this, i'm sure the advice here would work well on a mentally stable person where genuine feelings were involved between both parties. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but I've grown immensely since realising what she is. I now know exactly what to avoid going forward. Be careful out there!
@Jandy Win Coach Lee's advice is sound and i believe that it can work when the relationship was between two people who both have the capacity for empathy. My ex is a narcissist and her game is about punishing me over and over again. She also cannot feel love for another or for herself. So it was all a lie. She never really loved or cared for me. And keep in mind the narcissist never lets his/her victims go and she still pops up on my radar every now and then, testing the waters with me. She just wants to see if I'm weak or stupid enough to take her back after the abuse she's dished out on me. She's been blocked everywhere. Good riddance.
@@AnthonyTizzleMyNizzle Thanks bro
I had very short relationship, about a month, intense relationship with calls and dates, that ended because I couldn't settle for less than being appreciated, sometimes he was canceling dates at last minute .. we ended because I hate that, I did argue about that stuff and never called, but he did, he waited first moment to get near me again. I recommend if you like him/her and you made the mistake call and don't wait a second but try to fix the problem, if they made it don't ever call, don't settle for less. Even if it's short with some people you can feel the connection don't lose that
I agree.
Yes! If the issue resides in a lack of communication to begin, that just reaffirms everything. Great point. Not all has to b cat n mouse games.
Thanks God Dr ojiezele I really appreciate you,him help me get my ex back contact him now+2348064539246
Strongly agree
Tina G. My relationship was 2 months of constant texting and it then consisted of meeting up and sleeping over 5 times. It was intense, beautiful and unlike anything I have felt before. We held hands and when we were together it felt like we were in a relationship. I think that's where it went wrong. Too fast I think. She ended by saying she was not ready for a relationship and that she needed to sort herself out and that she actually wanted to be single. She said she was not only doing it for my feelings but hers as well. At least this meant she was feeling the same. We chatted for a few weeks after this then she stopped responding. So I am into day 12 of no contact and it's hard. It's been 14 days since she text me. I have never felt this level of connection ever in my lifetime so do I continue with the no contact hoping she will reach out? Please help...
I was going out with this girl for a month, very intense relationship, then she distanced herself to an extreme to the extent of ignoring me etc.. and dumped me after a month of going out (wanted to stay friends, I kindly didn't agree). Started no contact immediately then she contacts me after 6 days, but didn't have it in me to take her back as I was able to see her true colors (which I am not gonna mention). Not only no contact works, but it allows you to see things clearly as they really are by keeping your integrity and heart intact. Please respect yourself when you get dumped and allow time to reflect, to withdraw yourself inwards, it is magical, it sets you free.
My story is exactly same as yours wow, but I'm planning on moving on.
@@smokers40 Glad to hear that, we'll find someone 1000x better trust me
@@igorbalanovski182 I've done everything for her, gave her what she wanted, respect, money, love, care, but I don't get much from her and she started to pull-away, then I started to do that too now in NC 3 weeks will never contact her unless she contacts me, i have to much respect for myself and I won't allow anyone to play me like that or disrespect me:), thanks hope you'll find someone 10000x better too.
@@smokers40 money? Not your kept woman?
I have three things to say about Coach Lee's principles... IT WORKS, IT WORKS OH AND IT FREAKIN' WORKS‼️ BLESS YOU, COACH LEE‼️😁👌
Got dumped for no reason so no contact for life for me! Reach out to me else good luck with the rebound!
Did they reach out?
@@gazelle5095 : No, she dint reach out. I also moved on and dint contact her after that day.
@@raghavb9743 How long was the relationship?
@@youtubesucks2755 : 10 .. 11 months
How bad was the breakup?
I loved your video but I have to disagree with this one. Even if it’s a short-tem relationship, you should just go to no contact and move on. Don’t ever text them first, don’t even wait for them to reach out. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship was, it only matter what the interest level was.....If they love you, they’ll comeback
agreed
Sneaky Beaky , I don’t disagree with you but coach Lee did say at 8:59 they might want to reach out but not know what to say and feel awkward about the breakup, what do you have to lose by giving it one more try, relationships are sometimes difficult right? But if you have lots of options I say yeah, move on.
Sneaky Beaky I agree on the no approach tactic, but love? that’s the point of short term relationships, no one loves anyone yet
If they loved you or liked you enough in the first place though, would they have ever left?
B K totally. And if both of you spend months building and building from that moment, not caring for anything else and projecting the future day after day with a huge smile on your face, you know it.
I’m on day 15 of no contact. He sees my snap stories here and there. I’ve been posting my great life on their too. He’s probably wondering what I’ve been up to. Also please don’t tell people “Just block him.” “Just forget about him.” Because that doesn’t help the person who’s going through the break up. It only makes them feel worse.
Angiel_ions-m Why would you do that in No Contact? You're supposed to be away from each other to think, and not do things like that. Please stop what you're doing or you will lose. Take care of your Heart..❤
Did he reach to you
Two weeks no contact today. Thanks coach lee for the support. It is getting slightly better
update?
@@DubShah 51 days NC. I saw her at an event last week. I, said " hi ex , how are you" and she ignored me.
further update: I am now blocked on social media :(
Please do a video on "Ghosting".
Yes ghosting has become the "new normal "
Please do this video
Pleaseeee.
Thanks coach lee. You are a lifesaver. During this sudden breakup. I wanna see no one and just stay alone. Watching your video is my routine now and feeling like I m getting my strength back by doing what you said
3 weeks of no contact now and it is like hell. First 10 days is the worst but it still hurts today.
That's why I stay no contact forever until it's reach my goal. I just want her to say something to me I am not gonna Contact her anymore..
Thanks God Dr ojiezele I really appreciate you,him help me get my ex back contact him now+2348064539246
The emotions were really intense, but we never said things like “I love you.” But I got clingy and demanding, so it ended quickly. He was right to end it for that reason. I didn’t beg and plead at least. I tried to remain friends with him for about a week after things ended and realised that was stupid and went NC. Wrote him a clean slate letter talking about how I need some space before we become friends. I think we could work again tho. I’m learning about my negative dating habits in therapy and really starting to understand some things. Going to rekindle a friendship first since we were only together for a month. I want to learn how to take things more slowly and really get to know someone. And if we only remain friends, I am okay with that.
People are quick to throw around the word narcissist and someone they’re mad at. I’ve had plenty of relationships and break ups and I’ve only dated one person who I believe to be a narcissist. And even if he wasn’t, he was emotionally abusive and an alcoholic. I was right to leave him and go no contact forever.
Is it too late to write a clean slate message (or any kind of) after 3-4 weeks after the breakup? (Dating lasted 3 months) I blew the breakup by being upset. 2 days later I apologized for behaving immature via phone. But right after it I tried to convince her (kind of pleaded) so I have no idea how much I undid my apology. (Our last conversation was an off topic though that went smooth.)
@@buek14 what ended up happening?
@@amyhintz471 Well, she found another guy one week after our breakup. Anyway I haven't sent her a clean slate message, nothing. Then, while her being in that new relationship, she broke no contact after 9 months. I replied in an upbeat way but didn't initiate any further conversation. I saw no reason to do that. By that time I was dating someone else and got to know a lot other good people. Also learnt a lot about myself and I have no intention to get her back even if she wanted. 1,5 year ago I thought this state of mind will never come. Yet it did.
I was listening Coach Craig Kenneth and Coach Corey Wayne frequently. I also recommend The Love Chat and the Dating Guy. All of them are great. They participated very much in my recovering. Coach Lee is good but he has some contradictions.
@@buek14 thank you for all this information!! I NEED it. I appreciate you telling me your story, and it is refreshing. Thanks!
@@amyhintz471 No problem. You just have to be strong and have self-respect. I know it's hard in the beginning. It was one hell of a roller coaster for me too haha, but it's only a state of mind which changes. So the aftermath of a breakup can be a blessing in the long run. People can learn a lot from it. The way the human brain works is kinda tricky.
Thank you. This is just what I needed. I want her back, but I won't be fearful of losing her.
I am now 8 days into No Contact. It is the most difficult thing to do but i know it's right. The relationship lasted just over 2 months but it was very intense and things were moving really fast and I think this ended up really scaring her (even though we were both responsible for this). It was an amazing relationship as she was basically the girl version of me and she would always say i was the guy version of her because of how similar we are. She even said I was the guy version of her when she broke up with me. I did beg her to not leave and that we could take it slow on the day she broke up with me but after that i went straight into No contact. I've been really down this week but have been spending more time with friends and family. Any time i feel really down I put on Coach lee's video and it helps me to stay in No Contact.
Naturally i want her back but its only been 8 days and who knows what i'll be thinking after a month or so of no contact. I hope everything turns out for the better for me and for anyone else going through this pain right now. Thanks a lot for your help Coach Lee!
Going through the exact same thing. Just got out of an intense 2 month relationship with someone and it was one of the most exhilarating situations ever. We both moved 0-100 and things moved way too fast. Unfortunately it ended due to a mistake they made and we're trying to stay friends. I'm 10 days into no contact and it's very hard. But I wish you all the best and just remember to take it day by day!
Justin James thanks a lot man! All the best to you as well! Hope things work out for you!
@@avijeetdas1521 updates?
@@youtubesucks2755 Hey, i've decided to move on, although thinking about what happened can still be a little difficult but no way near as difficult as it was straight after the break up.
After taking a break from dating for about for about 4-5months and just focusing on myself and getting back into the gym I decided to start dating again and I'm now talking to a lovely girl so we'll see where this leads.
I've decided to respect myself and know my worth rather than wait on someone that hurt me and started seeing someone 3 weeks later.
There are people out there that will like you for being you so my advice is to not wait on someone who didn't appreciate you.
Same as I had ,my relationship lasted for 2 months and we had a great time for ourselves and I think you words are like the exact thing my ex gf used to tell me but she break up with no reason and I find out that she wanted to go back to her ex bf but her ex is serious dating n I found out that my ex is begging her ex bf to come back but it’s not working for her but as I am talking she has block me and it’s been 10 days now with no contact
It worked for me.
2 months of dating with love bombing and hot cold games.
It was toxic. I got obsessed but managed to keep emotions for myself.
We decided to stay friends.
5 weeks of low contact : I reacted few time to their story to make a friendly jokes, we’ve met once for a friendly talk, they were reacting a lot to my social media, I was answering politely to direct messages, then I stopped posting I wanted to detox from internet.
I was working on my life, was fighting the attachment by going to new dates even if motivation was low.
But when I finally felt free of all this they reached excused and said wanted me back to their life.
But now I’m just so unmotivated and scared to get in the same trouble. I said we can try going very slowly.
aka_anka, you do not want to get involved with a person with narcissistic traits, even on a friendly basis. You said it, "Toxic." BE very careful. I know bcse I've been there..
My success story: Not sure who will see this message but I had a 1 month talking stage/situation ship with this girl. Connection was intense and I ended up scaring her away asking too soon for exclusivity and trying to exert a boundary. 1 month and a half of no contact, I promise it felt like she couldn't care less. I felt so discarded. I kept doing me, leveling up. Quiet on social media, only posting social activities and at one point I decided to just forget about her loving how empowered I felt and she ended up reaching out. Now I m not even sure I want her back, it feels like she s 2 weeks too late. A reminder to everybody to love themselves. No contact works once your energy moves on. Thank you coach Lee, you truly helped me with my self esteem during this time and your advice, listen to this man people, don't get influenced by naysayers in the comment
How long did it take her to come back? İm in almost the exact same situation but she messaged me just under 3 months ago telling me she needed time. Not sure whether or not to move on
I am gonna take a moment to share my story. My ex and I were together for 2 months. It was the most intense thing I have ever experienced. The passion, the intimacy, and the connection was something I have never experienced. I realized I was love bombed, so it ended as fast as the relationship began. I respected her choice for the breakup. She was 6 years older than me with 3 adult children. I have no children of my own. She basically lost emotional attraction for me and felt we weren’t on the same page. I have been into No contact for 3 weeks now and this has been the most difficult situation I have ever experienced. I am getting stronger focusing on myself, but I get relapses. Coach Lee your videos keep me going. I pray and hope I hear from her again.
Dude, I get it!’
Did you hear back?
Did you here back, what happened
Ye bro thats why u always gotta go into those new things ready to walk away as fast as u walked in. U gotta be ready to let anything go at the drop of a dime in life, even family but especially women. But the beautiful thing about the ladies is theres always like a zillion more to take her place, theres so many theres really no reason to stress out over one. If u could walk into a store that u are surrounded by a million dollars and one dollar flys out the door, would u really stand still and stress about that lost dollar or turn around and focus on the parade of dollars in front of you?
update?
I've been in almost six months of long-distance relationships. Met on a plane, two weeks of extensive chatting, then met in person, and right before the pandemic we clicked. She stayed at my place two times 14+ days and visited almost every weekend all spring. I came to visit her three times and even met the parents, I would visit more often but she has roommates. Then during summer she was working two jobs and had less time but we chatted and called each other frequently. She took few days off for my birthday and things were super smooth. Then we got a few fights, and I noticed we were getting more and more little bit stingy arguments. After apologizing, and trying to clear things out she said "we all just human and everything is ok" right before she left at the end for July. Two weeks later she texted that she does not feel good about us. After trying to figure out why three days after communication over messages she pooored a lot of shit down my way saying things like "I didn't like my pajamas shorts cuz you don't like my body" and stuff like that. Very toxic I think. After almost a month of trying to sort things out, she finally said that option to get back together is not realistic and since then I am in two weeks of NC.
We didn't have exact plans for marriage, but we had discussed kids and even picked names for one. It was a dream, but ended as a nightmare.
what happened from then?
Update?
Thank you for bringing up the whole narcissism thing... everyone who’s been broken up with here on UA-cam uses that as an excuse. I couldn’t have said it more perfectly. Just because they don’t want you doesn’t make them a narcissist.... my person is REALLY SELF ABSORBED but I wouldn’t call him a narc..
Seen this video after using no contact for 5 months and i used it since it appealed to my situation. I reached out after 5 months. I was really healed at that time and was starting to really move on. I thought she was missing me from her posts etc and i reached out. It worked out and we had great dates. Interest was all time high. I've done things i never thought i can redeem myself and was constantly in regret. But no contact made good memories win over bad memories. We're back together. Now it's just time to not do the same mistakes and keep improving myself. Having experiences bla bla. We shouldn't have problem in the long rong run. Let's see how this turns out.
still goin good bro? lol
@@Justin11897 we are going 2 forth and 3 back.but i think its a problem in my end. We can manage these
Edit we broke up. I was the one who broke up. Not because i didnt love her anymore but she was done. Ghosting, unrespectable moves etc. It was worse than last time. I dont think it was a problem in my end. It is what it is
@@caesarsspirit at least u tried. That’s all that matters 💯❤️
people talk about the right time to tell a person i love you but what is the right time that doesn't really it's just the way you feel
Dam broke the No Contact rule last night after a few Red wines absolutely gutted! However, never received a txt back so unsure what to think but at the same time I'm glad as I will never do it again. It was only a short term relationship but she really broke my heart and has taken me quite awhile to get over her..I hope I never see her again.
5 months long distance relationship met her family and everything, going on 10 days no contact I haven’t texted or called her I thought everything was one day she called me and it was over I sent her flowers on the 6th of this month and told her I wasn’t happy how things ended and I wanted to talk in person, so take your time when ever she’s ready and I said I loved her. I’ve just been working on myself, trying to do this no contact thing, and I watch these videos over and over again to prevent me from reaching out to her I haven’t talked to her 10 days I’m trying my best.
He said he didn't want to lose me, but he ended it. I'm just really hurting right now.
😔
Give him the breakup. See if it’s really what he wants. That’s the way to have the best chance of re-attracting him.
@@RealCoachLee give him a few months?
@@RealCoachLee we were in a short term relationship, but our feelings were intense. He told me hes in love. I just feel like hes not even thinking about me. But I will give him time, I just dont know how much time.
@@RealCoachLee Lee this is what happened. He has a child with another woman, and he's trying to figure out how to get his child back into his life. Its complicated. He said with all of that going on he can't make me a priority and it isn't fair to me. He said he'd like to be with me in the future. He said if I'm not over him in a few months maybe we could be together. Im confused because he said it was hard for him to break up with me. Is there hope?
@@RealCoachLee he broke my heart. So now all I can do is wait, right? I don't wanna mess it up for the future
Thank you coach lee! this truly worked for me, my boyfriend and i already discussed marriage and all the juicy stuffs within 7 weeks of dating also long distance and he broke it off for no tangible reason, though i broke no contact once and regretted it, i still continued after and he contacted me a day before my birthday and after couple of days, he told me how he still loves me and still told people we were together even though we werent, we are trying to move forward from here, so i am taking it slow from my end because i have the power now, though i was literally miserable after the break up but i kept watching coach lee videos and praying to God, its been one month and we are back on track!so no contact is good for both parties.
Are you a female me from the future?
I really hope you are I want it to work out for me
same things happened to me. still suffering everyday. almost 1 month of NC. i hope God will bless me i way he blessed u ♥️
no contact DOES WORK .
It often does.
I was in a good relationship for just shy of 2 months. I've been in no contact for a week over a month now. I started it the minute I walked out her front door. She showed strong indications of fear of commitment before breaking up with me. Wish me luck.
How’s it going? I’m on day 39. It’s still hard for me but I’m sticking with it. My ex said the timing was bad and I needed to heal from my last relationship (the one before him).
It's going weirdly. She's doing the warm and cold bit right now. I run into her at church, so I'm doing the best I can. Her body language indicates attraction, but she's seriously suppressing her feelings. This one's weird.
@@andrewpena9041 any update? Did she contact you during no contact?
@@kRaf76 No. Things have gone downhill. She's with someone else now.
@@andrewpena9041uh another update perhaps? Maybe something changed
I'm not going to do that I don't want to contact him it's his choice if he wants to contact me
That's how I feel.
Thanks God Dr ojiezele I really appreciate you,him help me get my ex back contact him now+2348064539246
Coach Lee: Reaching out does not make you weak. It does not make you look needy.
Also Coach Lee in other other videos: If you message them, you will feel weak it makes you look needy.
Osahon, it’s all about WHEN. I say that in other videos too.
I was seeing a Woman for 2 months including her love bombing, telling me she has strong feelings and getting jealous of other Women. Then she said she is not ready right now for a relationship so we ended up leaving things.
She texted me about 5 days later asking if i'm ok and since that discussion there has been no contact for 3 weeks. I also work with the Woman..
If things are meant to be, they will be.
I'm not even sure if my case qualifies as "short term" or not. We dated 6 months, broke up, then a few months later started talking again, but I friend zoned myself pretty hard for a full year. Recently stood up for myself and went into N/C, telling her I thought the world of her but I wasn't down for just being friends, and to get in touch if she changed her mind.
Update?
@jasonlezinsky8305 Did she ever come back?
I was so lucky I found no contact before he “needs a break” I immediately said “ok i understand “ immediately and told them they can let me know when they wanna talk and left it at that. I had a guy that I didn’t like after we were seeing each other for 3 months and he went no contact and it drove me crazy! It works
no contact for life actually lol.. i won't text first ever again. I'm way to valuable for that shit!
@@stardust86x yes its so hard but ..one day at a time. I was on the brink of death from my broken heart. I contemplated suicide n i begged God to help me bcoz i dont wanna die but the hurt is overwhelming..im glad i didnt follow thru as im stronger now but still working on it. I give in to texts but i will never chase a man who dont want me ever again. They love that shit..they get ego fuel from it... time helps heal but its a process..these videos have helped me immensely along with prayer ... God bless you
I wish I had that mindset
What do you have to lose? I you love her/him
”Pride only hurts, it never helps”
Yeah, I just made the comment too. Usually I agree with Coach Lee when it comes to everything except this part about reaching out. He dumped me and while we stayed friendly with each other, he was the dumper so why should I reach out to him? As much as I miss him, I know I’ll eventually move on. Well I hope I will because it was very short term and as intense as it was, I don’t ever want him thinking I’m desperate. I think that gives too much power to the dumper.
Can you make a video pointing out signs you have no chance of getting them back after a NC period and reaching out but they aren’t responding?
Great video, you're the only coach out there that said what I've been thinking, the NC rule being permanent never seemed logical to me...
Been 6 months since I was cheated on and dumped. Moved back to the east coast and am now. Moving on greatly without being contacted. However thoughts of her haunt me....
hope you have recovered well, good luck
My ex dumped me 3 days ago which would’ve been our 6 months…
Today I’m starting NO CONTACT. 09/01/21.
What is your update now?
Did it work?
He told me he does not want to see me twice in just two months. First time I could not do no contact because he was constantly contacting me. Second time I did no contact after one day. He ran back to me after a week being better than ever. Don’t force anything, trust no contact. It will get your self respect back as well as your ex. Worked for me every time until I was the one who eventually made a definitive decision to end it. Be positive and stay strong!
+ 2 3 4 9 0 6 3 7 3 1 6 5 0.. .
Problem is when she jumps into a rebound immediately
Wish u had spoken bout these cases
Rebound is rebound
Screw her. Find a new gf, you go rebound too... You may suprise yourself and find a better gf than her...
And lets be honest....that's the case 90% of the time for women. Almost every woman I have ever met, whether I've dated them, or not tends to bury the memory and hurt of their last relationship, by covering it over with their next.
That's not a trait generally associated with men. Sure, a guy might get into some physical short term, distraction to blow off some steam, but we don't invest. We don't commit and you can be damn sure that when we're alone, there's only one person on our mind. We tend to reflect and really put thought into things....even when the pain eat us up from the inside.
Women on the other hand tend to jump right into the next and attempt to catch things up with their new relationship (physical, emotional, plans for the future, etc), right where their old one left off. They convince themselves that they're able to move on, like its nothing....It's like there is no down time.
The problem is, women tend to internalise. They begin backing out of the relationship, even before its ended. So by the time the moment actually comes, they haven't been emotionally invested for weeks...sometimes months. For men on the other hand, the end of the relationship doesn't actually become a reality, until the day it happens....sometimes even after that. So by the time it really sinks in for us and we go into "I need to fix this" mode, she's already moved on with the next guy.
It's shitty how differently men and women are wired sometimes.
@@alfrede.neuman8611 Absolutely right... Shortly: Women tends to forget more easily, they move on faster, that's it... Harsh, but the truth.
How about short term and long dstance relationship???? Haven't seen even once. But real love.
Chuck 123 That's my case. So much in love. Broke up a week after seperated in different city
Me it’s been a month already
I’ll let you know how my case goes. Six weeks, moved quickly, semi long distance (saw each other on the weekends). Two weeks in no contact.
Mine lasted for 5 months and the distance was 5000km. I am in no contact with her for 6 months and counting! That's longer time than the whole relationship was! Hopless! Forget about it and move on! That's the best advice I can give you!
@@doomtomb3 Update?
I had a 5 month intense relationship with a girl. So far 8 Days of No contact. I really struggling everyday because I miss her so much and I lover her. We had several plans in the future. She told me that we still can "Hangout and have fun". But first I will take my time to heal, get my fitness back and increase my income.I want regain my confidence and maybe I will reach out to her again soon. Now I prefer to have some distance because my emotions are all over the place.
I’m in the same boat. Any update?
i can deff relate bro lol
Sadly Not with the narcissistic guy I dated. He wouldn't even recognize the loss of my presence
After 30 days of no contact she contacted me but i was begging again because i didnt know what to do and than i starter no contact and now its been 4 and a half weeks and i know that was a mistake i was emotional, now all i can do is to recover and dont have a choice to go back. 💔 All i can do is take it as a lesson
Any updates? Stay strong
This stuff really works.
Thanks God Dr ojiezele I really appreciate you,him help me get my ex back contact him now+2348064539246
Was seeing this girl from my work for about three months, very intense relationship. Everything about it was good. I had a bit of a bad week made a mistake and she ended it with me. Said she feel like something has changed between us? 13 days in NC and it hurts badly, especially when you have to see them three days a week. Any help would be really appreciated
Really good points coach lee. I met a girl in may, we talked for a bit and got on well so met up. When I left she text me saying I was really easy to get along with & enjoyed herself, that she felt a spark. I said she was really nice and we talked more & eventually started dating. I’d consider it a whirlwind, she gave me a house key, introduced me to her daughter and I was staying there 3 nights a week. We were messaging daily really easy flowing happy conversations, with a bit of soppy in between. She said that she’s never felt happier and seeing how I am with her daughter makes her hopeful for the future etc. That I’m different and she never wants to lose me, joked about what engagement ring she’d want and what our kid would look like. I asked her out once and she said not atm because she had court issues going on with her daughter, and I said fine I understand, and we were normal again after that.
Dated for 4 months, I took her to a hotel for a break and her mood had changed in the last 2 days. She wouldn’t be in the same room as me, wasn’t speaking much or her normal happy self. I asked what was wrong but she said nothing and I didn’t want to push it. I dropped her home after the hotel & in the night I noticed her key was missing. I asked what was wrong & she said she felt unhappy with other aspects of life, I hadn’t done anything but wanted to focus on her daughter, but I am worth it to her she just needed space. So I did some minor begging (more convincing) which of course didn’t work, so I said okay I understand, and went NC. Within 6 weeks, she had deleted me on all social media. I have not spoken to her since sep 15th. I messaged her this Monday & said hey, how are things? And she blocked me on messenger. So the next day I text her to say “didn’t mean to annoy you, just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Hope you & your daughter have a good Christmas”
She send back a horrible message, basically saying she told me from the start that she didn’t want anything, that she didn’t have feelings for me & that I was making her miserable & was clingy, was always at her house etc. When I tried to say that makes no sense because I’ve got tons of messages of her saying she wanted a future etc, she said not to bring up the past & she never saw anything with me & that she’s happier now and doesn’t want to speak to me again. Just really hurtful messages that I think are uncalled for..
So I have no faith in love now ha. If someone can be that brutal towards me & put some nasty allegations my way, I’m better off on my own
Darien Price Bro I feel it. I was in a situation similar like that. Here’s what I learned Z It’s not on you though bro. She’s insecure. She’s pushed you away because she has things about her that she needs to work on, so her mental state isn’t at a solid space. You’re too good for her bro at the end. You did everything right, she was feeling you enough to talk about the future, having keys etc... but she couldn’t stay true. It’s all good you’ll meet someone more stable, and with tons of less baggage. Look at this a better opportunity to get someone better and it’s definitely a learning experience. Just let her be if she’s pushing you away she’s probably hurt too, she just can’t deal with it right now. If she’s real she’ll come back. Coach has videos about that too. Stay up.
Anthony Hurtado Appreciate it man! She does have stuff going on in her life but I was supportive & helpful towards that! I did things wrong I’ll admit that, I was sometimes emotional or didn’t defuse little situations. But no ones perfect, and I’m not a bad guy I truly cared about her. But the things she said to me Tuesday we horrible. Like I even messaged at the end, regardless of whether you have feelings or not, there’s no need to speak to me or treat me this way. Even while she was being nasty I was keeping a level head!
The most hurtful thing for me is that I spent months putting in effort, I spent time with her & her daughter, met her family, was staying and paying for things, we went on like days out etc, she met my family blah blah, and I really felt we had something good. When she ended it because of the way she did it & the complete flip, I thought I had done something.
So I spent the last nearly 4 months depressed thinking that I’d fucked up and pushed away or lost someone perfect for me that I had a future with, and it was horrible blaming myself and beating myself up, not knowing whether I’d get a chance to put things right. Then I find out that she apparently never felt anything for me, never saw a future, and I’m this clingy obsessive person that won’t leave her alone. That I made her miserable & nothing can change her view etc, just hurts that after everything, that’s her opinion or final view of me..
But I hope one day she realises she’s made all that up & she lost something good.
Darien Price Nah it’s nothing on you she’s just a head case. You can’t keep beating yourself up over someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Her issues are so deep that you could be the perfect guy and she still won’t be truly happy because she hasn’t made the mind decision to go with you. Just let her do her thing, also most importantly do your thing! Move on, this situation proves that you’re a good guy and plenty of females would love to be with you. Just can’t be with someone toxic bro. It’s hard to swallow now but the universe is helping you. Look at it as a blessing in disguise. Just imagine if you did stay with her. Her misery would then be dropped into you. You’ll regret it. Plus if she’s already doing things so quick you know she wasn’t stable. I understand that it’s not always the case but in this time it is. She’s narcissistic, damaged. You don’t want that.
Anthony Hurtado she was amazing & lovely before I just don’t know what changed. Because it was so sudden that’s why I thought I’d done something. But from her messages she’s convinced herself it was coming for a while & ignored it. I’ve got messages from her that contradict everything she said! I really thought we had a future frm what she said to me and how she was with me. It’s literally like she woke up one day & hated me. I get that. Our misery would probably be shared as we’ve both got depression/anxiety ha. But really there’s no place for what she said to me.
She even said that I was forcing sex, like I’d only try when she was asleep/half asleep and when she said no I wouldn’t stop? I was like what a horrible accusation to make towards someone. But again, anytime I said something that would combat what she said, she shut down and said I was bringing up the past or being obsessive.
Mad though, Monday I was crying driving home, partly because I’d lost my uncle the day before but also because I’d messaged her & been blocked, so even after 4 months NC, it was clear she wasn’t going to speak, and I really missed her and was hating myself. As soon as she relied Tuesday and said all those horrible things and said that I was imagining the whole thing, that she never wanted a future etc, it flipped in my head that no matter how beautiful she is & the good memories I had, there is no need for that and she is a spiteful vindictive person deep down.
it smells after a nice guy mistake, she was the first your job the second.
I came on to strong, I told her I loved her after a month, I really felt it and she told me that she loved me too. I think she was faking it. She said “I love being with you, but…….”
I get why she broke up and found someone else. I scared the shit out of her.
My bad…….
Update?
Damn, I learned so much from coach lee I'm going to apply to my next relationship
Long distance for almost 3 months. Never met I’m 100% sure we’ll never get back together smh
What ended up happening?
I need an opinion. I was seeing this guy for about four months. He was sweet and all. I traveled and came back after a month and he missed me a lot. But two weeks after I came back I started to feel insecure and thought he didn’t want anything serious and I said I didn’t want to see him again. He was very hurt. I regretted and reached out. He said he needed to think and wasn’t sure he wanted anything serious especially after what I did. I went through NC immediately. He reached out and I was nice and sweet, but just wanted to know how I was. He reached out again asking if I was going to this party and I was there. I told him I wanted to be with someone who would eventually want something serious. He didn’t say anything. Then said if I wanted his company I should ask him. I did and we had a wonderful time. He would pick me up in his arms, massage me, kiss me all over. Then he left and messaged me to ask if I was home already. I messaged him the next day. Then he never messaged me again and I didn’t either. After 10 days he messaged me last Saturday, but it was 1:30 am, so I only answered at 5pm on the next day. He took two hours to answer. (I know... games...). We talked briefly, but it was a nice chat. He said we should go to a karaoke, and I said yes, then I said I had to go meet my friends. Now I don’t know if I did it wrong, if I should wait again for him to reach out, cause I just want him to ask me out. He knows I like him, but I don’t wanna be vulnerable. If he reaches out again can I ask him out to have coffee? Should I reach out? Hmm
Reach him.
I think that's a bad idea I'm not going to reach out to him this is his choice
Yeah, I agree. I love Coach Lee and I agree with pretty much everything but as someone who was just recently dumped (we left it as amicable as possible), I refuse to reach out to him. I’d rather lose him completely then reach out to him. I think it gives him too much power and makes me look desperate. I’ve been going out and spending time with friends and exercising. I think the best medicine for moving on is to look after yourself. If he wants to make contact, then he needs to do it. Not me. Especially because he ended the relationship.
I survived from crying to being free!
Free yourself! There is always gonna be change after break up even if there is reconciliation, only slight chances, sorry! They might miss u but they wont get back at you. GUARANTEED!!!
Ive scanned all videos, only 1 or 2 survived. Mostly did not work. But bettering yourself.
If you apply NC, the realization is too long and let's not be hypocrites! You are doing it for the dumper! Ive gone through all stages but move on after crying!
1 week or 2 weeks. You can truly be strong and move on after letting each other go.
Mostly successful story is pinned. No photos. We dont know if its true.
Some yes came back. But dump them again and realized,that they shouldnt have gone back together.
REALIZE YOUR SELF WORTH.
DO NOT PROLONG YOUR AGONY.
DO NOT PUT POWER OVER DUMPER! YOU ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN LOWERING YOURSELF.
Improve yourself for you.
Most people who used NC realized at the end they dont need the dumper anymore.
And some might get vengeful by waiting for the dumper to reach out and throw shade to them.
Love yourself by letting yourself free!
Dont put bondage on yourself!
In my experience (life):
2 month relationship: I broke up with him, he blocked me, 3 months NC, he wrote half-assed messages, came to my house (I didn't open the door), he had not changed, I'm done.
4 month relationship: I broke up with him, wanted him to change, then the breakup was mutual, no contact for more than 6 months (sometimes he contacted me again, which started after 2 months), he was with another person for more than 6 months, just broke up with her to be with me again - but I don't feel anything anymore. I think he changed so I will see where it goes.
This kind of videos are not truthful in reality alot of ex or past lovers don't come back because of various reasons, sometimes it's shame or pride or they were not really that into you to begin with nd you were never a loss to them. It's better to accept this sooner or you will waste your time waiting forever. I had to learn it that hard way, sometimes them not answering your phone calls or text might be a blessing in disguise.
Can you do a video on situationships? My person and I were never officially in a dating relationship but we were seeing each other for 8 months. I told him I wanted to slowly move towards a relationship and he said the same thing. He told me that I was the only person in his life that had ever truly accepted him and he knows I was the logical person to be in a relationship with, but he didn’t feel what he needed to in order to be in a relationship yet. That’s why we agreed to move slowly. We hung out 3 or 4 days a week for 8 months and I would describe that time as good and caring cuz he told me things he has never told anyone else. I really care about him. We aren’t talking now because I found out he was sleeping around at the end of the 8 months and we got in an argument. I can’t say we were in a relationship so I guess “seeing each other” is better. So would no contact work in this situation?
4 times a week is too much... give him only 1-2ntimes a week since u are not official, do productive things in days without him.
2 months relationship with a dismissive avoidant and 3 months of NC after the breakup 😢😞 i feel he's more distant now and I ruined my chances. I miss him so badly.
Hi, did you hear from him again? I’m in a similar situation
@@Bigbackdiariess nope, it's been a year, I moved on, he's severely damaged and it's not worth it. NC for a year isn't NC anymore.
4 month relationship, everything was pretty much as close to perfect as I think is humanly possible, then it suddenly ended, no fights or anything. I’m on day 6 of no contact. I’ve wrote her a long message asking her to give us a chance to work on the relationship but I don’t know if I should send it as I’ve done this before in a previous relationship and just got hurt from the reply. The reason for the breakup was very vague, just said something felt wrong, I don’t know what to make of all of this and I don’t know how long I should go no contact because I genuinely do not want to lose this girl. This time last week she was telling me how much she loved me.
Yea dude basically the same happened to me with this guy. A week before the breakup we had a great date and everything seemed perfect, im not sure what i can do either. How are you doing now?
Same thing happened to me bro, she just one day said something has changed between us? I can’t work it out. Day 13 of NC
@@Devon-91-sent her a text asking to work things out two weeks after it ended and got not reply. Haven’t spoken to her since she broke up with me. It’s been nealry 6 months.
is it still considered a short term relationship if you were friends for a long time before you dated that person ?
We only dated for 6 weeks and felt a real connection then he got cold feet but won’t officially say so. Like he’s keeping me on a string.
Same situation with me. Everything was great, then caught him in a deceptive situation and all the sudden told me he had cold feet and wants to be with me but needs to "think"...been 4 days no contact
How did it play out??
???
If he's keeping you in a string, you have the power to make him get afraid to lose you.
Same. About 4 weeks of super intense convos and contact them got hit with “it’s not over it’s just not happening right now” I didn’t exactly react gracefully now I’m a week in trying not to lost my sanity because it wasn’t the things we said it was HIM AS A HUMAN BEING that had me hooked. His vibes, smell, thoughts, pain. I’m so devastated.
Yes, it works!!!!
Omg- coach Lee- I been watching ur video I had my boyfriend for only 2month he broke up me . So use no contact so after 3 week he contacted me. He have Long message to explain what happened his mind. He say millions sorry to me. He regrets everything.
I followed what ur said need have some dignity, workout yourself, but a lot need to work it won’t happened again to me. It very painful
Coach Lee - thank you very much ur are the one healing my heart Everyday. And I love this guy.
Coach Lee- I want to talk you I need to ready my self how to interact this guy He is highly person.. I don’t to make a mistake again. What happed is loss law attraction only. Base only observation. So reply to him polite, and nice. To him.
3 years of relationship with my ex and I don't know why I'm watching this but I found this interesting.
I think it would be a really bad idea if I reached out to him at any time it's his choice if he wants to come back to me he was angry the day of The Break-Up and I don't want to catch him off guard or make him feel more angry
In 2 months I am taking an entrance exam for nursing and if I get in, I was planning to use that time to text him and not until then. I hope he contacts me first. But I feel like this could make him see we can have a future.
finally my question!thanks!
Please can you do a new video on this ?? It’s your only one like it. Interested in if the situationship/ relationship was around 5/6 months!!
How can I forgive a person that makes my life a nightmare disapiring?
Mariangela M. P. Acceptance
For me it worked differently 😅 2 months relationship, we had an argument and he ghosted me for 5days. I break NC and he started to speak with me again , but I kept the conversation in a friendly way, and a little cold. Now he is pursuing me again. 🤷♀️
How about short term relationship and Longdistance relationship? only 4 mos weve only seen twice is no contact will work? It's real love.
same here. she went cold & acted distant. i played cool but then she started ignoring my messages & leaving me on read.
so i sent her this “i believe that you’ve made up your mind to be like this recently & you’ve the right to do whatever that suits you, but equally, i also have the right to do whatever suits me. so there’s no need for the thing between us to be going because now, you’re not the person i knew & wanted.”
then i blocked her on social media except for her phone number to see if she’s willing to reach out.
i really don’t know that blocking her was a good idea or not, but in this age & the experiences i’ve had, shit like this i’ll never ever tolerate even though for the fact that i really like her & she got great qualities & adorable personality.
i truly believe in NC, but in my situation, this time i doubt it.
Giving me hope man leaving her alone for a month I messed up begging she got somebody else now but I know I got best intentions for her and her future I just hope she returns
Best relationship advice on UA-cam.🖒🖒
All of ur videos are extremely important..very powerful..
He broke up with me after dating for 3 months, because he didn't have the "right" feelings for me. Currently in week 7 of NC, and I want to fight for the relationship, because I just belive that the timing was wrong. I now feel that the break-up had to happen, because he was my rebound after a break-up, and that I needed time to find out who I am after a 6 year long relationship (with another man). I met him 2 weeks after my previous break-up, and because he had taken a 2 1/2 month summer vacation before starting a new job, and I was a student, we had the time to spend most days of the week together. We even went on a week long trip together, and we met each others families. I'm so confused, and I don't understand how I didn't noticed that his feelings had changed.
There are no videos on youtube where the ex is the rebound (I don't think he belives that he is one).
any update?
It worked for me. I recently got a call from him out of the blue and chatted for awhile. I quit calling and put my FB on silence in case he could see it. So far so good but I'm still feeling like I'm in the friend zone.
Sheri Francis any updates on how your situation turned out?
update?
I am the one that walked away because he thought I was forcing a relationship. I didn’t think I was, but he perceived in that way. He said everything was perfect until he felt the pressure (he was happy with “pre-relationship”, he said). We dated for about 4 months only but we really enjoyed being with each other. It’s been almost 4 weeks and either one of us has made a move, perhaps because we both have abandonment issues. If he was the one that broke up with me, I’d never look back, because of my fear of rejection. He’s perhaps thinking the same way... how does no contact work if we are both in the same position and with the relationships being short term?What should I do?
If he felt the pressure he won't call, and if you left he will think it's because of pride... So you can call but try to be as friendly as you can, talk with him don't mention getting back together, you can invite him to coffee, and than see where he is. If you get back with him again try to be relaxed invest in him with same speed he is investing in you, try to be the follower, let him lead. Tell me if this helps :) Wish you luck
Tina G thanks. He actually reached out, called out of the blue. I texted back; he said he was in my neighborhood and he wanted to say hi. I was cordial, but nothing else.
@@kudaswrath77 I am so happy about you
Tina G thank you. I’m not all that excited, it was a “just wanted to say hi” type of text. It’s been a few days and haven’t made any contact. Let’s see what happens. Thank you 😊
@@kudaswrath77 I know it's always like that, enjoy your free time, I am in a same situation, believe me they all need time, its their loss if they cant see how wonderful we are ...
I love your videos, Happy Holidays , and thanks for your videos 🎅
I have been in a relationship from February 2015 till November 2015, and i know my ex from 2012 onwards. Well, i was 21 years old and she was 15 years old in 2015 but our relationship was later on caught by her parents and gave her advice and she got influenced to them. I really love her and wish to live along with her by being in her side. But unfortunately all the planning went upside out. She blocked me in every sites like Facebook, Instagram, telegram. She rejects my calls and was showing hatred towards me and recently i came to hear something from her friend like i was being a flirt that's why. Well, i should let you know i ain't a guy like that though. Only thing i know is that really love her a lot and my mind beats for her. I tred to not contact her after she started refusing me but i know i can't live without her. I am always having a tendency to call and talk to her but she always tells me that i am pestering her. I want the things to be back to normal like we were before.
Any advices or suggestions from your side Coach?
All this is messed up and confusing ! I just want to find my mans and grow old with him
Day 4 of no contact...& I'm feeling numbed now. Last 3 days have been hell though.... He hasn't contact me yet. I just logged in FB and he's there.. So I don't know if it will happen..
Did he contact you yet?
What happened now
I was hesitant about these vids, but christ do they work for anxiety and overthinkers. Work on yourself , you are your own worst enemy in these situations.
I am so sick of all these videos saying that the reason you're not getting your ex to come back is because you're begging and pleading. No, I never did that, I backed off immediately, even though he said we would talk in person, I went no contact and never heard from him. Please update content, stop assuming that everyone is begging and constantly reaching out. Not everyone does that. Also, no contact itself does not work. No one reaches out, no one comes back. When it's done, it's done. No one cares about each other beyond what is convenient for them.
How long have you been in no contact and how long was your relationship? Coach Lee says that you should reach out to them after 45-60 days if you feel you have nothing to lose. It’s possible he thinks you want nothing to do with him and are over him
I agree
A lot of good information in this video. Thanks for sharing 😊
Does no contact work even if it was only 2/1 2 months and towards the last two weeks you two argued a lot? (I became paranoid and Clingy and the last argument he said this isn't right)
Update?
becky2u What ended up happening? I’m in same boat.
update pls?
Update?
Any update? I’m in the same boat
She left me nothing was official but she tells me she misses me, the reason she left was me being distance and and us not being able to really see each other
Thanks, you have given me the power to reach out now after 4 months of no contact!
she only answered "ok"
@@RexTribution explain a little about how the convo went
@@bu6587 I was like "hey it's been a long time, christmas is coming up and I'm very excited, I have done this and this with friends, learned this and this and I wish you and your family a merry christmas :)" and she was like "err, okay, thanks, you too"
@@RexTribution well same thing happened to me, she was like you too then i said I'm too much excited and she was like cool now goodnight, she has a new bf now so it's a normal behaviour of the dumper to run so I'll wait until that other guy becomes needy and all then maybe i have a chance till then i'm doing nc
You DO NOT reach out. It's a mistake. Watch "The Love Chat's" videos, he explains.
We saw each other for about a year, though not often due to busy schedules and some distance. He told me I was the most wonderful woman he'd ever been with, that he'd never felt this way before- and then told me to stop trying to reach out, and he didn't want to continue with me. So I didn't contact him for a month. Nothing. I'm sure that surprised him. He turned up at the social event and I was cordial, detached, not sending any vibes his way. He ended up getting tipsy, coming on to me, wanting to get close to me. We spent some time together that night, and then he shut down again. I told him I was going to be busy for a few weeks and "maybe" I'd get in touch. I realized I don't feel the same about him. I love him, but I'm tired of his hot-cold.
TART111, It sounds like he has a problem with intimacy. I wouldn't get involved with someone like that, not romantically. You're smart to tell him you're busy for a few weeks. Try to keep your connection to a minimum.
We were talking for 3 months, but it felt like a relationship. Texted everyday, I met his friends, he was already talking about summer and future things. We had sex unfortunately as well. He said he seen us being something, but two days after we celebrated Valentine’s Day, I had to ask him if he was still interested. Note: I had felt a change a couple of days leading up to our Valentine’s Day celebration and thought maybe we just needed to see each other for things to go back to normal…. Wrong. I got him a really thoughtful and sweet gift and he got me nothing. Don’t even think he felt bad. (Guys get cold and stoic when they pull away). After finally getting him to be honest and upfront, I said my god riddances and haven’t reached out. What do you think of this?
Did you hear back?
Girls get cold and stoic when they pull away too. Mine treated me like a stranger.
@@Nimbus3690 Why do they get like that?
@@ashleyy8724 it's just a sign of immaturity, no matter the gender
I am thinking it is because they do not want to give us any false hope of interest.
No contact forever
Before me, he was in a 6 year Relationship and after two weeks we already talked about moving together and he put so much effort in me and was so in love. Till a friend of him talked bad about me. Then he dumped me.
He did not trust u.
She Just reached Out after a month and send me a longer Message for my Birthday - she asked me how im doin and If im feelin better etc. I Just thanked her shortly but politely
Hi Lee,
could you make a video about no contact during christmas time? What it means if they dont reach out and how holidays will effect no contact in general?
Marry Christmas!
Luca Rüffert yes!! It’s Chinese New Year now and i can’t help... so i reached out. However, just got cold reply.
@@yiningzhang5891 im sorry for you :( i reached out after about 2 and a half month of no contract. But just because I wasnt attached to an outcome anymore. She was also extremely distant to me. Fells like a complete different person. But it actually helped me to realize that the person I loved was long gone. I don't want her back the way she is right now.
Hope you'll feel better soon!
@@LucaAmadeus thanks a lot. I also realized that we couldn't work out. It was a short-term relationship and he would go back to his country after he finish his exchange and internship in China.