This is really innovative content. 1st off jet set radio and inherently bomb rush cyber funk have played a strangely huge role in my life. 2nd this honest conversation is needed in 2024. Keep doing ur thing bro im subbed
It took me a lot of time to realize that I didn't have a lot of empathy for people. But once I had the revelation I kinda just accepted it, I didn't beat myself up over it or nothing. The way I thought about it is that I've been living with it for so long without really acknowledging it, and hadn't felt anything about it, so why freak out or beat myself up over it. I still think about it every now and then and still have no particular want or need to change it. I hope I don't sound like I'm a bad person or I don't care enough to change it, I guess I just don't have the need or want to.
I totally agree with a lot of what you said in this video, man. When people at work tell me about bad shit happening to them in there lives its just like "what... do i even say that could make them feel better?" But there's nothing i could say. Im a naive young adult with no life experience. Or maybe im just numbed to it. Time will tell.
Yeah, isn't it hard to see past a narrow view of another person's situation in real life? Like those rear view mirrors but without the warning, "Things are closer than they appear." You end up missing details, cause they aren't fictional characters whose entire life you are privy to. Real people's problems don't feel real sometimes, for some reason. Unless it's someone in the news, who I've never met. Guess because there is a sense of distance and the factual information is bluntly delivered, instead of someone dramatically (even if validly) panicking about something in-person, that you have a hard time visualizing happening to you. Also, those ego thoughts pop up like, "Well, *I* would NEVER end up in that situation." and while that is likely true, It's easy to forget everyone is imperfect and anyone could get unlucky or miss something and end up in a situation whether inside or OUTSIDE their control. A certain kind of perfectionism as well, where you cannot empathize with another person - or express it, due to all these idealized expectations placed on yourself. Then, mentally beating yourself up when you actually DO end up in a bad situation, outside of your control or not. Perfectionist's self-shame feels more real than a problem someone else is going through. It's a very human experience. (My past experience anyways)
What you have sir is what the media calls "Toxic Masculinity" but what experienced people, and those with any amount of sense call "Critical Thinking Skills" Empathy isn't just about feeling sad for someone else's misfortune, its the overall ability to understand other people, which isn't infallible. Empathy still has to be earned to a degree and sometimes people do things that just don't make sense. With the example of the friend getting robbed in the bad part of town, the part where the empathy gland turns off is when they acknowledge they went into the bad part of town. If they were lost or were unfamiliar with the area you'd probably be more inclined to feel bad about his situation because it was pretty much unavoidable. But with the story given as is, it sounds like your friend made the conscious decision to go the bad part of town, which would rightfully cause people to ask "why would you do that?" Modern society has guilt tripped people to feel empathy for everyone's misfortune regardless of the details of the circumstance, and try to shame you for not just taking every story at face value. The fact that you're even reflecting on this at all means that you have an inquisitive mind, and there's nothing bad about that.
i used to have this issue too tbh but what helped me get out of it a lot was focusing more on being supportive in the moment - brush aside wanting to 'fix', focus on how the person you're talking to is feeling. if theyre down, help do something to cheer them up. make sure theyre doing okay after, offer them going out to eat to take their mind off it, etc. being there for them matters much more than 'fixing' the problem/possibility of the problem happening. it does take some practice to shift ur mindset into this viewpoint, but it does help a lot. sometimes the best we can do for someone is just being there for them
Another banger gnippets, rough combos though lock in
This is really innovative content. 1st off jet set radio and inherently bomb rush cyber funk have played a strangely huge role in my life. 2nd this honest conversation is needed in 2024. Keep doing ur thing bro im subbed
It took me a lot of time to realize that I didn't have a lot of empathy for people. But once I had the revelation I kinda just accepted it, I didn't beat myself up over it or nothing. The way I thought about it is that I've been living with it for so long without really acknowledging it, and hadn't felt anything about it, so why freak out or beat myself up over it. I still think about it every now and then and still have no particular want or need to change it. I hope I don't sound like I'm a bad person or I don't care enough to change it, I guess I just don't have the need or want to.
I totally agree with a lot of what you said in this video, man. When people at work tell me about bad shit happening to them in there lives its just like "what... do i even say that could make them feel better?" But there's nothing i could say. Im a naive young adult with no life experience. Or maybe im just numbed to it. Time will tell.
i liked the pre destined bit.
i think any talk is fine if it moves forward - which for most people defaults to compassion
Hello, I recommend reading a book about non violent communication, there's a part about empathy
Yeah, isn't it hard to see past a narrow view of another person's situation in real life?
Like those rear view mirrors but without the warning, "Things are closer than they appear."
You end up missing details, cause they aren't fictional characters whose entire life you are privy to. Real people's problems don't feel real sometimes, for some reason. Unless it's someone in the news, who I've never met.
Guess because there is a sense of distance and the factual information is bluntly delivered, instead of someone dramatically (even if validly) panicking about something in-person, that you have a hard time visualizing happening to you. Also, those ego thoughts pop up like, "Well, *I* would NEVER end up in that situation." and while that is likely true, It's easy to forget everyone is imperfect and anyone could get unlucky or miss something and end up in a situation whether inside or OUTSIDE their control.
A certain kind of perfectionism as well, where you cannot empathize with another person - or express it, due to all these idealized expectations placed on yourself. Then, mentally beating yourself up when you actually DO end up in a bad situation, outside of your control or not. Perfectionist's self-shame feels more real than a problem someone else is going through. It's a very human experience. (My past experience anyways)
What you have sir is what the media calls "Toxic Masculinity"
but what experienced people, and those with any amount of sense call "Critical Thinking Skills"
Empathy isn't just about feeling sad for someone else's misfortune, its the overall ability to understand other people, which isn't infallible. Empathy still has to be earned to a degree and sometimes people do things that just don't make sense.
With the example of the friend getting robbed in the bad part of town, the part where the empathy gland turns off is when they acknowledge they went into the bad part of town. If they were lost or were unfamiliar with the area you'd probably be more inclined to feel bad about his situation because it was pretty much unavoidable. But with the story given as is, it sounds like your friend made the conscious decision to go the bad part of town, which would rightfully cause people to ask "why would you do that?"
Modern society has guilt tripped people to feel empathy for everyone's misfortune regardless of the details of the circumstance, and try to shame you for not just taking every story at face value.
The fact that you're even reflecting on this at all means that you have an inquisitive mind, and there's nothing bad about that.
i used to have this issue too tbh but what helped me get out of it a lot was focusing more on being supportive in the moment - brush aside wanting to 'fix', focus on how the person you're talking to is feeling. if theyre down, help do something to cheer them up. make sure theyre doing okay after, offer them going out to eat to take their mind off it, etc. being there for them matters much more than 'fixing' the problem/possibility of the problem happening. it does take some practice to shift ur mindset into this viewpoint, but it does help a lot. sometimes the best we can do for someone is just being there for them