Last year I was standing at the bathroom mirror looking at my bearded face after having met a few trans women at an LGBT event. I had seen myself in them and realized that the only difference between us was that they had transitioned and that I hadn't. Now I was looking at my reflection and finally told myself truth out loud: "I am not Deadname. I'm Sofia and I'm a woman. I need to transition." I then reached for a razor and started to shave off the beard that I had been hiding behind. I knew from the beginning that I needed to fully transition. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I'm a very binary person and there was nothing about my "male identity" that I wanted to preserve. The next day, I told my family and then I called a transgender clinic to start HRT and therapy. I came out to my whole family, social circle, coworkers, and neighbors within a week and started almost immediately to live my life as a woman 24/7/365. There was no use trying to find a middle ground or take it slowly. I ripped off the bandaids. It's now about 10 months since I found out that I'm transgender and I am now scheduled to have FFS in December and bottom surgery before next summer. My transition might go faster than the average one, but I knew from the start that I didn't want to live another single day as a male. Having to live my life as a man and being forced to perform masculinity never gave me happiness, only pain.
I know exactly what you're going through. And you are very brave for such a sudden change in your life! You are doing the right thing! Wish you the best! ❤
@@Genevieve111 I started pursuing it from day one. I accepted myself on a Saturday night and on Monday morning I was calling a gender clinic to schedule a consultation for surgery. I then reached out to an informed consent clinic (Plume) to start HRT while waiting for an HRT consultation with my regular provider. I knew that HRT would start the clock for gender affirming surgeries so that was my priority, and I was on HRT within a month. I then started to review my insurance policy to determine what policy I needed to get for the surgeries.
One thing that really helped me was sitting myself down and asking if i could only pick literally one gender affirming step what would it be. Made the whole thing much less overwhelming by having an easier bare minimum goal.
I thinks so too. I have a journal with a 10 steps I want and need.And one step at a time is better. It helps me see oh no. I'm moving in the right direction. We are so hard on ourselves. GD is the hardest I've ever had to deal with. Love yourself,I love all of us.🏳️⚧️
For me I just got to a place where everything was empty. I couldn't really tell you what I wanted because I didn't want anything at all. I realize now the reason was because I wasn't coming from my authentic self. Everything was empty simply because my eyes couldn't find anything that I really wanted. But when she came out finally there was a whole world of things she wants and a whole bunch of fun things that had never occurred to me to want or do. Thank you Dr Z. Love your channel!!
I have been experiencing the same. Im just exploring my being trans. But as I get closer to being female I find that I'm more interested in self care. Loving myself more. Thinking about the future and what could be. As if being the trans woman I am is making me closer to myself and to life.
I started therapy, and my gender therapist asked the right questions without encouraging me in the direction to take. I started with HRT, knowing that within 3 months of starting, I could stop. The HRT has been wonderful! 18 months now and haven't looked back! I feel great, less Dysphoria and I feel more aligned to myself! Then it was FFS! That helped relieve almost every bit of Dysphoria! I'm on the fence about SRS as it's not that important to me. You mention about 'passing' Dr. Z. What I have found is whether I pass or not, I'm being my confident and authentic self, and that's all that matters! People can except me for who I am (in the Blue State where I live, they do!) or not. Being older (over 60), I have not experienced any negative comments. so that helps my confidence! Great topic to talk about! Especially for those that are just starting their journey. Even though I had a plan of action 18 months ago, if this video was around then, it would have re-enforced my decision to take the path I took. Such wonderful advice!❤❤
When I realized I was trans I was a bit lost because I thought HRT was mandatory. But I didn't feel like taking hormones. Something in my guts told me not to. I am a trans man but I don't care having a beard or whatever. So I chose to listen to my guts and made my own way of transitioning. My voice was a real discomfort, so I worked on it with a professionnal, and one year later only, my voice has become very androgynous, which is already fine with me. I tried to find models of how I felt inside: not a manly man but something different, although I'm not non-binary. I found it through K-pop singers: yep, that's what I can relate to. There are many ways of feeling yourselves in your gender. But my path was kind of difficult because I had to build it all by myself. So thank you to adknowledge all of that.
Great advice. Taking incremental steps is how I am going to transition. How I feel right now is that I want it all and I want it fast. I know that going to fast is a mistake also. I have booked laser for facial hair, I have a natural looking hair piece. The most important step will be HRT, I want to know how it will make me feel. As the transition progresses I will have a better understanding of how much gender affirming care I will need. Based on how I have been feeling my entire life I expect I will be doing HRT, then FFS, and most important is SRS.
My first signs of gender dysphoria were at four and still I spent my life in denial Once I opened the box and spoke out with my family I felt something different but it wasn't only happiness. Keeping a secret for so long can be really harmful for a human being, so at the beginning it was a lot of confusion because I had all theses mixed emotions inside of me, even though to me there was something clear I had to sit down for many many time, the first 6 months I wrote a diary where I tried to understand my feelings and thoughts, I had to go the a psychiatrist and I took 2 session with a therapist a week (currently I just take one) so I could start to find peace, honestly gender dysphoria is not something I love obviously, but not dealing with it was killing me inside. I now know that I am a trans woman but this is an ongoing work, you never stop discovering new things.
First, I absolutely love you and your channel. I found myself pretty late in life (45), so once I did, I didn't really have any questions of what did I want as much as how to go about it. I feel extremely fortunate that I was always an extremely observant person. Knowing how to dress, walk, behave, etc. as a woman honestly all just came natural. I was also fortunate that I had pretty much already lost everyone in my life. The thing I've struggled with the most is passability and not for others but for myself. As you said, my dream is to be able to walk outside in sweats and no makeup and people see a woman. I feel I'm pretty far away from that but given (even at a taller height), my smaller features (hands, feet, etc.) I still see myself at an advantage to my trans peers in the same age group. As I like to say, I try to focus on the good things I have to work with rather than the stuff I need the most work on. I hope my words help someone. Much love to you and all who follow your beautiful channel.
I thought about it for years during my second marriage and just dismissed it as daydreaming. The thing is I slowly started unknowingly about 9 years ago after a surgery and had both ears pierced, one in the right and two in the left, I've always worn my hair long and after a divorce 4 years ago I finally decided to get a therapist to look into and question it deeper. They started asking me questions and it really woke me up and I finally admitted that I wore a beard and did all the aggressive macho things to cover up my real self for over 40 years as a defense mechanism. Immediately started electrolysis on my face 10 months ago and still ongoing and started estradiol 4 months ago. Immediately noticed more cheerful attitude and outgoing with the hormones and have seen physical changes since. I love it and want to start blockers soon. Excited and scared at the same time because of the area I live but I'm still going to continue just to finally feel like my "real" self. Just do you and forget everyone else.
Hey Dr Z, been watching for almost a year and I really want to write you what I am going through at the moment or have been since many years.... I really don't seek attention and all but I feel like I can express myself here on your channel. I have this situation where I experience really, and I mean real bad gender dysphoria and I feel like giving up sometimes... but I constantly remind myself that it's probably gonna be okay later when I take hormones and do the surgerys. I tell myself that I am good enough to be a woman because it is the truth. Every (transgender-) person is good enough to be who they desire to be. And all behavior or desires don't determine what gender you are.
@@DRZPHD agree, it’s very expensive and hard to justify with all of the competing priorities. I believe that people are looking for answers but I don’t think there is no answer. The only perfect answer would have been born as a female and everything else is a compromise. We (trans people) get so twisted inside as we get older if we don’t come out and face it down. Having someone who can help to get our thinking straight is so useful.
After 40+ years of questioning who I was and why I felt I needed more than just male. Being this old, I never had knowledge of dysphoria, I just felt wrong in my body. My epiphany was 3 months research into current medical journals. This opened my eyes to possibilities that up to then, were only a dream. My decision was easy, I simply had to accept what I had hidden in my life, and become 'ME' Wish you all self acceptance and a wonderful journal into 'YOU'
Great insight as always. I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. But one of the examples you pointed out were people who have established careers and families, and what to do for me is to fight it back as long and hard as I can. My wife is aware and supportive to the degree she buys me clothes and jewelry when she sees something i would like, but she does not want to see the female me so I do that in private as I can or the need gets to that point.
I've known for a while now (non-binary, approx 3 yrs), i've been taking very subtle little steps for a few years (clothing, hair, jewellery), but now i'm sure i'm trans non-binary. I want to get laser for my face, and i'm very interested in hrt, but i'm worried what my partner (of 15 yrs) will think. I'm pretty sure they'll be supportive, but i'm terrified that they won't be. I feel like i've been slowing down the process because of this fear, I think it might be that i want to go slow enough that they'll see the next steps in my transition as smaller ones. I want to do this with support, and I want support from the person i love the most.
To anyone who feels uncomfortable in their body - it’s actually pretty normal and is highly likely to resolve in time. I was in my late 30’s when I finally learned to feel comfortable in my own skin. Just another perspective to consider….
Hi Dr. Z, I realized I was transgender woman about 3 1/2 years ago. So when I first came out to my wife it was not received well. Over next 5-6 months we drifted apart. She said I love you but I married a man, not a woman. So she said if you continue there will be no intimacy or touching or kissing. And there will always be a distance between us. I have done a lot of thinking over past 3 years. I want to display more feminine and am ok with living a double life. Work life would remain male and also in the small town I live in. I am an ICU nurse and ICU nurses have a long history of eating their own. Especially a new nurse to the ICU. I restarted taking estrogen 5 1/2 months ago. And t blocker a month ago. I produce very little testosterone so level is low naturally but not gone. If I did 100% transition I would lose marriage and my best friend. Have to work in an area that I am not known. People I work give me a lot of respect because of skill and knowledge base I have being in ICU for 18 1/2 years now. Providers and staff have small minds and the culture in my hospital is not one I agree with also. They are conservative in care and are reactive not proactive. I was taught to be proactive. I have no problem with sharing knowledge or experience as being transgender. I have started my own channel on UA-cam and have 3 videos out as of this note. Will start posting more over coming weeks and months. In your experience is living a double life enough of a transition to make one happy with themselves as to how they live a double life. I actually do want couple surgeries and of course people who know me would know things aren’t adding up. Any advice you can share with your experience and knowledge?? Thank you Dr Z for your channel and insites.
@@DRZPHD hey Dr Z, I didn’t see my question on this Monday. Did things change? I am still curious as to your advice or experience as shown you. Will you still answer question in a video? I will be keeping my eye open for it. Thank you Dr Z.
I was experiencing depression and decided to act on my bi sexuality. That is when I found out I have gender dysphasia. I recall at age 7 I felt i should have been born as a woman. Right now I have to be careful on trangendering. Be my youngest was adopted by sister. Now my daughter is 22 never met me yet. I want to trans, I can’t in fear of my daughter how she will react. I do feel better about know what I feel and know what my path is.
for me, I feel stuck. I have realized things that I am not. I am not cis. I am not my birth name. I am not a man. this things feel written in stone. I feel completely disassociated from my gender identity assigned at birth. Hearing people call me my birth name, or using he/him when talking to me, or even having men talk to me like I'm one of them drives me up the wall. I feel like I'm some sort of impostor when I go to the men's room. But I don't really know what I AM. When thinking about the idea of being a woman, I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of being an impostor as well. I've always identified more with women, wanted to be more a part of their social circles rather than the ones imposed on me, but I have a lifetime of being treated like an outsider and potential threat. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I belong with women, or that I have earned the right to be one. And maybe I'm not. I am far more disgusted with the idea of being perceived as male than I am desirous of being perceived as female. But due to the binary thinking of most individuals, I don't know if I can ever achieve my goal of not being seen as male without going to the other extreme. I just want to look in the mirror and not see a man. I want to hear my voice and not hear a man. I want other people to see and hear me, and not see or hear a man. But I don't know how to achieve NOT being something, when I don't have a clear vision of what else to be instead.
Well I knew I was transgender since 7 or 8 years old. Now remember. My Life’s experiences were way before. All this unnecessary. Bull ra started. I had so many starts and stops it’s not funny. Every time I was dressed. I felt freedom . I felt freedom to express myself . I was frightened because of bullying That was going on. It was server. I decided I will not let people in my head. I was sincerely. Praying that my prayers. Would be answered. They were three years ago. I found unbelievable support. I also found Support in church . I asked myself along time ago I don’t want body issues. Just being on hormones would be good enough till I see what. Changes happen. My self and my wife went through marriage counseling. Now true my mental health has lbgtq leanings. Do I agree entirely?. Well the therapist, which is a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have let myself explore myself and encourage me to be sure that my feelings about who I am. Are important. To be sure that trans is what I want to be. I’ve thought of it very carefully over the years. The answer is yes but now I am out wearing make up. Takes me an hour. It’s not cheap. But FUN!! I love it . I’ve decided I will put it on when I have time. Dresses especially sun dresses are fun. I like too think I can wear six inch heels. I use to wear five and three quarter. Without falling in fact . My balance on heels was very good. Maybe still but I’ve had too tone down my ideas. Because of health issues. Not bad I just don’t need to fall if I can avoid it. So I decided not too hide . I’m out and proud. So too keep up with being a women. I look around at women folk. To take a look at how they dress and act. Well, there are dress up days and there are dressdown days. I see women like to dress comfortably. If you think being dressed to the nines is comfortable, I think you have enough thing coming. So now I am into the comfortable if I had a boyfriend or a significant other. I think I would dress better, but I am still married to a cis woman ? Life with her has always been challenging.😢😢 so now I’m being myself I am happy and my content. Now I am on horremones Yes I am. I like to go shopping. Unfortunately life gets in the way. Oh this and that. That’s all. I have a trans friend. She’s funny. She always wears sweatshirts sweat pants. What the hell nothing very feminine or even thought of feminine she’s a riot. I love her. She’s a scream! I also have another trans friend getting married soon to a cis male. She is in the middle of transitioning looks great very nice young lady. I also have another trans couple getting married soon. I also know a lot of drag queens .You want too talk funny OMG.!! so life is one big adventure. I am just saying I have felt all my life that I was trans. Not just recently in the last 20 years let’s go back 40 years.
Last year I was standing at the bathroom mirror looking at my bearded face after having met a few trans women at an LGBT event. I had seen myself in them and realized that the only difference between us was that they had transitioned and that I hadn't. Now I was looking at my reflection and finally told myself truth out loud: "I am not Deadname. I'm Sofia and I'm a woman. I need to transition." I then reached for a razor and started to shave off the beard that I had been hiding behind.
I knew from the beginning that I needed to fully transition. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I'm a very binary person and there was nothing about my "male identity" that I wanted to preserve. The next day, I told my family and then I called a transgender clinic to start HRT and therapy. I came out to my whole family, social circle, coworkers, and neighbors within a week and started almost immediately to live my life as a woman 24/7/365. There was no use trying to find a middle ground or take it slowly. I ripped off the bandaids. It's now about 10 months since I found out that I'm transgender and I am now scheduled to have FFS in December and bottom surgery before next summer.
My transition might go faster than the average one, but I knew from the start that I didn't want to live another single day as a male. Having to live my life as a man and being forced to perform masculinity never gave me happiness, only pain.
Wishing you all the best.
How did you get scheduled for bottom surgery so quickly... I've been waiting 6 months to see a doctor to prescribe HT... 😕
I know exactly what you're going through. And you are very brave for such a sudden change in your life! You are doing the right thing! Wish you the best! ❤
@@Genevieve111 I started pursuing it from day one. I accepted myself on a Saturday night and on Monday morning I was calling a gender clinic to schedule a consultation for surgery. I then reached out to an informed consent clinic (Plume) to start HRT while waiting for an HRT consultation with my regular provider. I knew that HRT would start the clock for gender affirming surgeries so that was my priority, and I was on HRT within a month. I then started to review my insurance policy to determine what policy I needed to get for the surgeries.
One thing that really helped me was sitting myself down and asking if i could only pick literally one gender affirming step what would it be. Made the whole thing much less overwhelming by having an easier bare minimum goal.
Great way to approach it!
I thinks so too.
I have a journal with a 10 steps I want and need.And one step at a time is better.
It helps me see oh no. I'm moving in the right direction.
We are so hard on ourselves.
GD is the hardest I've ever had to deal with. Love yourself,I love all of us.🏳️⚧️
can u give examples? cuz my dreamer azz just makes it bigger like making bigger goals again 😂
@@MsChristyCox 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️♥️♥️♥️
Like a top 10.
1.call for Dr appointment
2. laser hair removal
3,join a gym.
4.love yourself more 💙💖🤍💖💙😘
For me I just got to a place where everything was empty. I couldn't really tell you what I wanted because I didn't want anything at all. I realize now the reason was because I wasn't coming from my authentic self. Everything was empty simply because my eyes couldn't find anything that I really wanted. But when she came out finally there was a whole world of things she wants and a whole bunch of fun things that had never occurred to me to want or do. Thank you Dr Z. Love your channel!!
Thanks for sharing.
Aww
I have been experiencing the same. Im just exploring my being trans. But as I get closer to being female I find that I'm more interested in self care. Loving myself more. Thinking about the future and what could be. As if being the trans woman I am is making me closer to myself and to life.
@@josephbelisle5792 that's very awesome for sure.
I started therapy, and my gender therapist asked the right questions without encouraging me in the direction to take. I started with HRT, knowing that within 3 months of starting, I could stop. The HRT has been wonderful! 18 months now and haven't looked back! I feel great, less Dysphoria and I feel more aligned to myself! Then it was FFS! That helped relieve almost every bit of Dysphoria! I'm on the fence about SRS as it's not that important to me.
You mention about 'passing' Dr. Z. What I have found is whether I pass or not, I'm being my confident and authentic self, and that's all that matters! People can except me for who I am (in the Blue State where I live, they do!) or not. Being older (over 60), I have not experienced any negative comments. so that helps my confidence!
Great topic to talk about! Especially for those that are just starting their journey. Even though I had a plan of action 18 months ago, if this video was around then, it would have re-enforced my decision to take the path I took. Such wonderful advice!❤❤
So glad the steps you took helped you so much!
@@DRZPHD ❤️💞💕
I always say you gotta do the best you can with what you got. Every small step in the right direction makes a big difference. Safety first above all.
Very prudent and I agree.
When I realized I was trans I was a bit lost because I thought HRT was mandatory. But I didn't feel like taking hormones. Something in my guts told me not to. I am a trans man but I don't care having a beard or whatever. So I chose to listen to my guts and made my own way of transitioning. My voice was a real discomfort, so I worked on it with a professionnal, and one year later only, my voice has become very androgynous, which is already fine with me. I tried to find models of how I felt inside: not a manly man but something different, although I'm not non-binary. I found it through K-pop singers: yep, that's what I can relate to. There are many ways of feeling yourselves in your gender. But my path was kind of difficult because I had to build it all by myself.
So thank you to adknowledge all of that.
Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!
❤
I have it all my life so later on I was ok ❤loved it. ,,being a female
Great advice. Taking incremental steps is how I am going to transition. How I feel right now is that I want it all and I want it fast. I know that going to fast is a mistake also. I have booked laser for facial hair, I have a natural looking hair piece. The most important step will be HRT, I want to know how it will make me feel.
As the transition progresses I will have a better understanding of how much gender affirming care I will need. Based on how I have been feeling my entire life I expect I will be doing HRT, then FFS, and most important is SRS.
I like your idea of incremental steps and stopping to assess how you feel.
I just find out 4 weeks ago, I tried pink socks... it was amazing, I want to go on hormone now
My first signs of gender dysphoria were at four and still I spent my life in denial
Once I opened the box and spoke out with my family I felt something different but it wasn't only happiness. Keeping a secret for so long can be really harmful for a human being, so at the beginning it was a lot of confusion because I had all theses mixed emotions inside of me, even though to me there was something clear I had to sit down for many many time, the first 6 months I wrote a diary where I tried to understand my feelings and thoughts, I had to go the a psychiatrist and I took 2 session with a therapist a week (currently I just take one) so I could start to find peace, honestly gender dysphoria is not something I love obviously, but not dealing with it was killing me inside. I now know that I am a trans woman but this is an ongoing work, you never stop discovering new things.
Thank you for sharing.
Loving the red nail polish... 💕
First, I absolutely love you and your channel. I found myself pretty late in life (45), so once I did, I didn't really have any questions of what did I want as much as how to go about it. I feel extremely fortunate that I was always an extremely observant person. Knowing how to dress, walk, behave, etc. as a woman honestly all just came natural. I was also fortunate that I had pretty much already lost everyone in my life. The thing I've struggled with the most is passability and not for others but for myself. As you said, my dream is to be able to walk outside in sweats and no makeup and people see a woman. I feel I'm pretty far away from that but given (even at a taller height), my smaller features (hands, feet, etc.) I still see myself at an advantage to my trans peers in the same age group. As I like to say, I try to focus on the good things I have to work with rather than the stuff I need the most work on. I hope my words help someone. Much love to you and all who follow your beautiful channel.
Thank you for sharing.
I thought about it for years during my second marriage and just dismissed it as daydreaming. The thing is I slowly started unknowingly about 9 years ago after a surgery and had both ears pierced, one in the right and two in the left, I've always worn my hair long and after a divorce 4 years ago I finally decided to get a therapist to look into and question it deeper. They started asking me questions and it really woke me up and I finally admitted that I wore a beard and did all the aggressive macho things to cover up my real self for over 40 years as a defense mechanism. Immediately started electrolysis on my face 10 months ago and still ongoing and started estradiol 4 months ago. Immediately noticed more cheerful attitude and outgoing with the hormones and have seen physical changes since. I love it and want to start blockers soon. Excited and scared at the same time because of the area I live but I'm still going to continue just to finally feel like my "real" self. Just do you and forget everyone else.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey Dr Z,
been watching for almost a year and I really want to write you what I am going through at the moment or have been since many years.... I really don't seek attention and all but I feel like I can express myself here on your channel. I have this situation where I experience really, and I mean real bad gender dysphoria and I feel like giving up sometimes... but I constantly remind myself that it's probably gonna be okay later when I take hormones and do the surgerys. I tell myself that I am good enough to be a woman because it is the truth. Every (transgender-) person is good enough to be who they desire to be. And all behavior or desires don't determine what gender you are.
Hi and thank you for sharing. I am glad you are keeping your hopes up and exercise positive thinking. You deserve to be happy!
Great advice! Best thing i did was to get a psychologist that will ask questions and help you find the answers but not encourage either way.
Yes if one can afford that, a good therapist will do just that. Good for you.
@@DRZPHD agree, it’s very expensive and hard to justify with all of the competing priorities. I believe that people are looking for answers but I don’t think there is no answer. The only perfect answer would have been born as a female and everything else is a compromise. We (trans people) get so twisted inside as we get older if we don’t come out and face it down. Having someone who can help to get our thinking straight is so useful.
After 40+ years of questioning who I was and why I felt I needed more than just male.
Being this old, I never had knowledge of dysphoria, I just felt wrong in my body.
My epiphany was 3 months research into current medical journals.
This opened my eyes to possibilities that up to then, were only a dream. My decision was easy, I simply had to accept what I had hidden in my life, and become 'ME'
Wish you all self acceptance and a wonderful journal into 'YOU'
THanks for sharing.
Morning DrZ
Hello
Great insight as always. I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. But one of the examples you pointed out were people who have established careers and families, and what to do for me is to fight it back as long and hard as I can. My wife is aware and supportive to the degree she buys me clothes and jewelry when she sees something i would like, but she does not want to see the female me so I do that in private as I can or the need gets to that point.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.
Thank you Dr. Z. Very helpful video
Glad it was helpful!
I've known for a while now (non-binary, approx 3 yrs), i've been taking very subtle little steps for a few years (clothing, hair, jewellery), but now i'm sure i'm trans non-binary. I want to get laser for my face, and i'm very interested in hrt, but i'm worried what my partner (of 15 yrs) will think. I'm pretty sure they'll be supportive, but i'm terrified that they won't be. I feel like i've been slowing down the process because of this fear, I think it might be that i want to go slow enough that they'll see the next steps in my transition as smaller ones.
I want to do this with support, and I want support from the person i love the most.
I think slow steps are often the best for many as they help you build up on the steps prior.
To anyone who feels uncomfortable in their body - it’s actually pretty normal and is highly likely to resolve in time.
I was in my late 30’s when I finally learned to feel comfortable in my own skin.
Just another perspective to consider….
Thank you, dr z, this was super helpful🌱
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you, this is helpful.
You're welcome!
Anybody know where I can get hormone therapy around central Florida?
My resource page for Florida lists revisers plus online hormone places: drzphd.com/gender-resources/florida
@@DRZPHD
Thank you.
Hi Dr. Z, I realized I was transgender woman about 3 1/2 years ago. So when I first came out to my wife it was not received well. Over next 5-6 months we drifted apart. She said I love you but I married a man, not a woman. So she said if you continue there will be no intimacy or touching or kissing. And there will always be a distance between us. I have done a lot of thinking over past 3 years. I want to display more feminine and am ok with living a double life. Work life would remain male and also in the small town I live in. I am an ICU nurse and ICU nurses have a long history of eating their own. Especially a new nurse to the ICU. I restarted taking estrogen 5 1/2 months ago. And t blocker a month ago. I produce very little testosterone so level is low naturally but not gone. If I did 100% transition I would lose marriage and my best friend. Have to work in an area that I am not known. People I work give me a lot of respect because of skill and knowledge base I have being in ICU for 18 1/2 years now. Providers and staff have small minds and the culture in my hospital is not one I agree with also. They are conservative in care and are reactive not proactive. I was taught to be proactive. I have no problem with sharing knowledge or experience as being transgender. I have started my own channel on UA-cam and have 3 videos out as of this note. Will start posting more over coming weeks and months. In your experience is living a double life enough of a transition to make one happy with themselves as to how they live a double life. I actually do want couple surgeries and of course people who know me would know things aren’t adding up. Any advice you can share with your experience and knowledge?? Thank you Dr Z for your channel and insites.
Hi, this is an important question and I added it to Monday Q&A.
@@DRZPHD thank you so much Dr Z. Have a great weekend and I look forward to hearing your advice on this.?
@@DRZPHD hey Dr Z, I didn’t see my question on this Monday. Did things change? I am still curious as to your advice or experience as shown you. Will you still answer question in a video? I will be keeping my eye open for it. Thank you Dr Z.
I was experiencing depression and decided to act on my bi sexuality. That is when I found out I have gender dysphasia. I recall at age 7 I felt i should have been born as a woman.
Right now I have to be careful on trangendering. Be my youngest was adopted by sister. Now my daughter is 22 never met me yet. I want to trans, I can’t in fear of my daughter how she will react. I do feel better about know what I feel and know what my path is.
Thanks for sharing .
I love the fuck out of you Dr. Zhikhareva! Thank you for all your doing for us!!! ❤❤❤
Glad to be of help!
This is what you need to do: Stop listening to people that tell you what you need to do. IRONIC.
I’m curious about the hormones, I like to see what they can do for me in a emotional sense
Many are, as they have a history of helping.
@@DRZPHD same but in UK not possible try without lying.
Show uncertainty and it's game over..
for me, I feel stuck. I have realized things that I am not. I am not cis. I am not my birth name. I am not a man. this things feel written in stone. I feel completely disassociated from my gender identity assigned at birth. Hearing people call me my birth name, or using he/him when talking to me, or even having men talk to me like I'm one of them drives me up the wall. I feel like I'm some sort of impostor when I go to the men's room.
But I don't really know what I AM. When thinking about the idea of being a woman, I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of being an impostor as well. I've always identified more with women, wanted to be more a part of their social circles rather than the ones imposed on me, but I have a lifetime of being treated like an outsider and potential threat. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I belong with women, or that I have earned the right to be one. And maybe I'm not. I am far more disgusted with the idea of being perceived as male than I am desirous of being perceived as female. But due to the binary thinking of most individuals, I don't know if I can ever achieve my goal of not being seen as male without going to the other extreme. I just want to look in the mirror and not see a man. I want to hear my voice and not hear a man. I want other people to see and hear me, and not see or hear a man. But I don't know how to achieve NOT being something, when I don't have a clear vision of what else to be instead.
HI and thanks for sharing. I suggest seeking a local therapist to help you dig deeper.
Well I knew I was transgender since 7 or 8 years old. Now remember. My
Life’s experiences were way before. All this unnecessary. Bull ra started. I had so many starts and stops it’s not funny. Every time I was dressed. I felt freedom . I felt freedom to express myself . I was frightened because of bullying That was going on. It was server. I decided I will not let people in my head. I was sincerely. Praying that my prayers. Would be answered. They were three years ago. I found unbelievable support. I also found
Support in church . I asked myself along time ago I don’t want body issues. Just being on hormones would be good enough till I see what. Changes happen. My self and my wife went through marriage counseling. Now true my mental health has lbgtq leanings. Do I agree entirely?. Well the therapist, which is a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have let myself explore myself and encourage me to be sure that my feelings about who I am. Are important. To be sure that trans is what I want to be. I’ve thought of it very carefully over the years. The answer is yes but now I am out wearing make up. Takes me an hour. It’s not cheap. But FUN!! I love it . I’ve decided I will put it on when I have time. Dresses especially sun dresses are fun.
I like too think I can wear six inch heels. I use to wear five and three quarter. Without falling in fact . My balance on heels was very good. Maybe still but I’ve had too tone down my ideas. Because of health issues. Not bad I just don’t need to fall if I can avoid it. So I decided not too hide . I’m out and proud.
So too keep up with being a women. I look around at women folk. To take a look at how they dress and act. Well, there are dress up days and there are dressdown days. I see women like to dress comfortably. If you think being dressed to the nines is comfortable, I think you have enough thing coming. So now I am into the comfortable if I had a boyfriend or a significant other. I think I would dress better, but I am still married to a cis woman ? Life with her has always been challenging.😢😢 so now I’m being myself I am happy and my content. Now I am on horremones Yes I am. I like to go shopping. Unfortunately life gets in the way. Oh this and that. That’s all. I have a trans friend. She’s funny. She always wears sweatshirts sweat pants. What the hell nothing very feminine or even thought of feminine she’s a riot. I love her. She’s a scream! I also have another trans friend getting married soon to a cis male. She is in the middle of transitioning looks great very nice young lady. I also have another trans couple getting married soon. I also know a lot of drag queens
.You want too talk funny OMG.!! so life is one big adventure. I am just saying I have felt all my life that I was trans. Not just recently in the last 20 years let’s go back 40 years.
Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful Cat 😻💋
I need to leave this town and go where I can actually transition
Sadly, sometimes one has to make this big decisions.