It's been a little while. OUR DAY IN 12 MINUTES & LIFE UPDATE - separation anxiety, parent struggles

[@shaunalea823]

Such a cutie pie!!! He reminds me of my son James aka Jibber Jab. When he was 3 he would just jabber on it was precious. He is now 10 yrs old and speaks in complete sentences. We started potty training at 3 but he didn’t get it 100% until he was 5 about to start kindergarten. Do not stress and don’t be afraid to take breaks if it gets to feeling too overwhelming. He will get it when he is ready so definitely be persistent when you start. I would say no pull-ups during day so he gets used to the feeling of underwear. I think alternating undies and pull ups can be confusing. I would first have him get used to sitting on potty breaking things down step by step. Have him looking at book or iPad while on potty and then rewarding. Most importantly I would say don’t push too much and don’t worry if it takes a lot longer than what you think is normal.

[@ajeanw]

My son who has autism will be 3 in January and is so similar to your son developmentally, right down to the developing separation anxiety at daycare recently when before he’d practically run in. My son has a few words here and there though his progress is maybe a little behind your son. Do you do ABA therapy as well as daycare? We’ve been doing it 5 days a week for 3 hours/day and then daycare the rest of the day since February 2022. My only goal right now is for my son to get to a point that he can go to school - I’m terrified that he won’t or that he will get a subpar education because he has autism or that they will take issue if he’s not perfectly potty trained. I’m also exhausted, everything feels like an uphill battle, I look at parents with typical developing children and I’m so envious - it seems so easy- people say all parenting is hard but that seems pretty easy, being able to talk with your child, understand what they want, share in an experience, even share in excitement about birthdays or Christmas etc. it’s like right now he’s still 1 years old. I’m having another baby in February and people ask is “X excited to be a big brother”. Now I just say yes instead of explaining that well he doesn’t really understand abstract things like that. I have no idea what I did or didn’t do that may have led to him having autism I used to blame myself for only breastfeeding my son for 6 months (i hated it, found it incredibly painful and his latch was poor, it was so hard and my depression got so severe during lockdown- I still feel like I need to justify it today , why didn’t I just try harder) but I see you did it up to 3 years old and Tide is also a level 2 autism. Now I wonder if there was something else I did or didn’t do. I didn’t take any medication during pregnancy, no gestational diabetes, no high blood pressure, no excess weight or under weight- I gained 27 pounds , was sick once with a cold in second trimester but no fever just a cold, I don’t even drink soda or go to fast food restaurants for at least 10 years, no complications, no c section, I was 30 when he was born, he was born on his due date and weighed 7.5 lbs. he was exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months (food was introduced at month 5) and he has always had his parents or loving grandparents around and he didn’t start daycare until he was 17 months. I noticed the signs when he was 10-11 months and I brought up his lack of certain things like waving, or eye contact or pointing at the 12 month appointment , very limited babbling, so before the mmr vaccine. No 10/11 month old is easy but everything just seemed harder than it needed to be.
Anyways, watching your videos is very soothing for me and gives me hope. You seem to have it more together than me- I hope I can be more like that soon.

[@candidlymish]

I feel you, my son seemed to be so behind then one day he just started to develop so much and he's getting better every day. I can't believe he is saying short sentences now, it seemed like he was never going to talk. And remember that your son is 5 months younger than mine so a lot can happen in that time, don't lose heart and please please don't blame yourself!! I did everything the same with all of my children and only one is Autistic. That being said though, he's actually the easiest of them all because he is the most loving, honest, sweetest, funnest and genuine little soul and I wouldn't change him for the world. I don't want him to fit into the constructs that society has built because Autistics are special and their differences should be valued, not seen as handicaps. I'm so sorry you are feeling that way. I don't have it together in all honesty, I'm a mess every single day and I'm constantly wondering if I'm making the right choices for my son. I also have ADHD which makes me a extra mess but I try to keep it together and make right choices.
Wow, you do so much ABA therapy for your son, that must be exhausting for you. I personally do not do ABA for him because I've heard a lot of bad things about it from Autistic points of view. The main thing I don't like is how they are trying to change the person to 'fit in' rather than embrace their differences and treat them accordingly. What are your experience with it?
Please reach out if you ever need someone to talk to, [e-mail] ❤️

[@irina1siren]

You’re an amazing mom!

[@candidlymish]

Thanks so much lovely! ☺️☺️

[@quianaburwell8024]

I'm in the US but your videos have been very helpful. The videos reminds me of my boy so much. Much love ❤️

[@candidlymish]

Aw thanks for your comment. Im so glad ❤️

[@John-pp2jr]

Thanks, lovely kids, clean house, relaxing ❤️

[@spvcecloud8314]

Thank you for another good video I love these I love how honest you are I have two autistic boys 3 and 4 and My house is always a wreck as well lol

[@candidlymish]

Ahh you're amazing thanks for the kind words. It's what inspires me to keep going with the channel as hard as it is to fit it in 🤪 go super mumma, we are in this together

[@annaf3915]

"How was your day?" "Good...a little bit good because I had the worst day of my life." I can't stop laughing ;-)
Your kids are awesome!

[@candidlymish]

Haha I know right, she crack me up! Thanks for the love ❤️

[@sandihunter1260]

My grandson is 5 and still doesn't get toilet training and finds it very stressful to even go and holds for as long as he can. Don't start until they are really ready.

[@darlaandel6516]

I really like you. Your videos are very real! My son is 2.5 and on the spectrum per his Ped Dr but we are waiting for an official diagnosis which is hard to wait on. Does your son sleep with you? Our son is very hard to get to sleep and rocks back and forth banging hard in his crib which is so bad and we are looking at getting him a “Beddy” bed for special needs toddlers and kids. Thank you for your sweet voice, info and encouragement

[@candidlymish]

Thank you so much. I'm so glad you gained something from my videos. I really need to do an updated video as Tide is 4.5 now and it's been a while since I've put anything up.
The sleeping has always been a bit tricky. Tide slept in my bed until his baby sister came along 3 months ago. So we started laying down with him to fall asleep in his own bed, and it would take up to an hour! We eventually threw the towel in 2 months ago and made him put himself to sleep. Amazingly enough he obliged and as long as his brother is on the top bunk, he happily puts himself to sleep. But, he still wakes every single night around 2am and screams to be brought into our bed. Lucky we have a king size bed. He has a weighted blanket but that doesn't seem to make a difference.
I don't really mind having him in bed, I just remind myself that one day he will be grown and all of these sleep problems will be a distant memory. That's the best thing we can do I think!

[@amirayassin7434]

The first step I use is a schedule. So, putting the child on a schedule, whether that is every 15 minutes, every half an hour, or every hour. In the beginning, it’s going to have to be more frequent.
The second step I use is extra drinks, especially if you’re trying to get them potty trained quickly. Specifically, a favorite drink that is consistent. So not just like he has 2 Caprisuns at lunch and then he doesn’t drink the rest of the day. So it needs to be extra drinks and more consistent drinks like 4 ounces an hour for smaller children or more than that potentially for older children.
The last step I use is data collection - and it doesn’t have to be scary data. It can just be whether they sat on the toilet, whether they peed, whether they had a bowel movement, either in the toilet or in a diaper, those sorts of things. So it doesn’t have to be hard data, but it needs to be some information that we can make data-based decisions with.

[@candidlymish]

Thanks for the awesome advice 😊 Extra drinks is definitely a good move.

[@shah237]

That’s exactly how i trained mine

[@siamesevrsbalinese4103]

Toilet training = let them run around the house no nappies and potties everywhere and keep putting them on it. Put aside 5 days to do this. Lots of drinks during the day, nothing after 7pm and helping them every step of the way. Worth it in the end.

[@candidlymish]

Thank you for the tips! Going to start doing it very soon 🤞

[@rooheedgulistani1926]

Hi! Can i write to you in private? I have some question about autism.

[@candidlymish]

Sure :) [e-mail]

[@rooheedgulistani1926]

Thank u i sent u a email now.

[@candidlymish]

@@rooheedgulistani1926 I've just replied