i've had all of these issues/traits my whole life. i didn't even realize i could possibly have autism until i actually learned about what it was truly like outside of how it is portrayed in media. i genuinely felt like i was meeting my true self for the first time. everything made SENSE. thanks for posting this and making other autistic afabs feel valid.
I was diagnosed yesterday at 58 .59 next month.I self diagnosed 6 months ago read 10 books on the subject and wrote down everything I related to and ended up with 37 pages for the assessor.I did lots of quizes and questionnaires and fel exhausted at the end my assesment. So now I know why I have felt missunderstood and I missunderstand all the time.I love that analogy , I am a manual car.I do the inflection too. I am the same with the eye contact. I'm the same with complex noises. Special interest /obsessions same. I'm not rigid with routines but I don't like Surprises. No coordination lots of bruises. Thanks, we are similar. We as autists try extremely hard. We have to try harder than neurotypicals just to get by. Please make more videos. And thanks.
TBH, age 23 is probably a pretty good age for it. Old enough to get to fashion a proper personality, but still young enough to be able to live with some awareness of who you are as a person. Hopefully, I'll have mine this year at age 43. The current DSM has made what should have been a relatively easy AS diagnosis extremely challenging and without other options for support.
I have autism too. Although I was diagnosed with high functioning autism originally I was told I’m now level 2 because of changes in the dsm. I have no Intellectual impairments but significant social and communication difficulties.
I havent been diagnosed, but wanting to get an evaluation soon. I always describe social situations kind of like a movie set. Its like everyone around me has had their lines memorized for weeks and I am still have to fumble through my script, hoping I find the right page and the right line each time
Having Autism would explain a lot about how I am and how I feel. You talking about special interests and cycling through them reminds me of how I latch onto things to the point of extreme obsession. My current favorite thing is Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles and, funny enough, it's what led me to really question if I have Autism because Donnie is autistic and I sometimes feel like him.
Just so you know, ADHD is really really cooccurant and comorbid with ASD and the stuff about executive functioning might point to that in case that seems worth looking into or if some ADHD things are also things you deal with
So glad to see a video like this from a girl my age. I've always wondered if I might be mildly autistic, but whenever I look into symptoms it seems to describe what is typically found in males. I've been diagnosed with other things, social anxiety, misophonia (sensory issues), etc but always felt that it left other things unexplained. I find so much of what you said extremely relatable. I've never been able to fully explain why I don't like last minute plans, and refuse to stay out past what I deemed a "normal time". Could never explain why I'm naturally uncoordinated and constantly fumbling around. Always hated hugs from family members, in fact the only touch I've ever accepted was from SO's which is somehow different to me?? I dunno. I'm rambling. I'm not trying to self diagnose here, but I'm glad you made this video because I feel a little less crazy. Maybe someday I'll look into a real therapist to settle this once and for all!
Thank you for the video 😊. I’ve always been interested in hearing a woman’s perspective on Autism and what it’s like for them so I do appreciate you taking the time to explain it, thank you. For what it’s worth I think the video is well done. Good work :)
I recently turned 21 and I just found out today that I have the same autism you do. I really appreciate you making this video because I am doing a lot of thinking right now.
Thank you for posting this. I've been diagnosed with bpd/bipolar over my teen years/20s and 6 months ago my therapist suggested I might have been misdiagnosed and have ASD1 but I ignored here (and was slightly angry at her suggestion???). I watched this video when you first uploaded it and everything you linked from it, and subsequently so many more UA-cam channels, as a result I'm going back to my dr this week to get referred for testing, god it has lead to a wild ride. I honestly wouldn't have done it without this video, but its now given me such a positive hope I might find a step forward after all these years of hitting a brick wall with therapy for bpd/bipolar, I wish female ASD symptoms were more widely discussed and the way you did in your video made it so much easier to understand and relate. I've shown a few family members the video too and they said how they could see the symptoms you talked about in me. Just, ah thank you. I might have ignored what my therapist said forever, but yeah, this helped me take such a step forward.
I’m an autistic individual from Britain. I was diagnosed at 2 years of age and although I didn’t have much capability at young age, I have developed a lot over my teens and now I can cope with things better than before.
i just wanted to thank you, i've been suspecting i'm autistic for a while (i am diagnosed with ADHD) and your video just gave me so much understanding, i have almost the same traits that you describe in here so now i feel so validated ♥ im looking forward to get a diagnosis :)
I'm so jealous. I was diagnosed with social communication disorder, the one like autism but a separate category. It seems like they created the category and forgot about it. It made me hurt because even still I could not be accepted and validated by people. You're lucky.
I'm not diagnosed with ASD (yet) and I struggle with putting stories into words. I try to describe pictures with a rich vocabulary, but I spend too much time only describing details. I can write poetry very easily, and draw what's in my head easily, just not writing down a story. I loved listening to your video, I relate to you a lot. Subscribed! 😁
I am 28 and I’m getting assessed this month. I only found out I had ADHD a year and a half ago and then I went on meds and thought that was why I felt so different to everyone. I thought ADHD caused my anxiety and sensory issues as meds helped with these a bit. But then I heard about masking and OMG. For the past month I’ve been obsessed with learning about ASD especially in women and binge watching UA-cam videos. I love to listen to other people’s experiences of getting diagnosed later in life. I have been through an identity crisis this last month but coming to accept it now and learning more about myself and how I can help myself to live a better life. I feel like I’ve come home. I’m worried about telling people in my life. Did you have any trouble with this? I have such a hard time talking about my feelings that I have no idea how to tell anyone. The only people I’ve told are my online friends and my supervisor but that was because I had a meeting about absence. I work 12 hour shifts around people all day and it’s exhausting. I’ve been giving myself permission to not look people in the eyes as much and to talk to people less which is wonderful actually. Feels like I’m accepting myself more. I have pretty much the same things as you. I also have major food issues and it’s been an embarrassment my whole life. I live off very few foods I need to sort that out for sure.
Thanks to all females sharing their stories....my daughter suddenely was perfectly fine ,but due to stress,she stop talking,started talking with herself,with the walls,with the ceiling,arguments,be angry with herself,,walked in one room,another room,go upstair,down stair,even if we are calling her,doesnt response....continue tslking,argument,conversation non stop conversstion with the walls.....please help me,whst are these signs?she ehe a brillant hirl,no wandering,smoking,no chiling,was very islamic...syddenely something happen
Even my daughter has forgot,what's happenimg around,who is in the room,who's doing conversations with her,whos calling her,who is tickling her...just after one two hours ,what's ever is in her mind about to go anywhere,she asks,can we go to town centre?
I was diagnosed at 29 2 years ago I was always just looked at as shy and stupid growing up as myself and everyone I've met just thinks of level 3 pardon my example but Dustin Hoffman in rain man, do you feel once diagnosed that there wasn't any extra help ? I just feel it was good to know but people still don't look at me like I don't have it and are incorrectly judging my behaviour negatively
I don’t have a formal diagnosis yet but my doctor and therapist have suggested I have asd1. I relate to everything you have. Growing up I was bullied for not understanding social cues and having a hard time talking to people. I have a hard time with food textures and I don’t like hugs or loud sounds. I also relate to the obsessions with things like tv shows and bands for a short time and twilight was a big one for me at 11 lol. It’s been hard being bullied my whole life for being different when I might just have autism. I’d love to know more about how you went about getting diagnosed, i think it would feel good to have an answer
hey emily!! short version of how i was diagnosed was basically just searching for adult autism specialists in my area and going in for an assessment but i can definitely make another video going more in depth about my diagnosis. it was nice to finally get it confirmed, for sure.
Really good video. I found it nice to watch because I recently found out that I'm autistic, at 20 years old. I also definitely share a lot of those same symptoms you have, as well as those reasons why we didn't realise until so late.
We seem pretty similar!! (I'm a 21 year old girl who was diagnosed in the beginning of this year) Warning for a long text, but I hope you don't mind: I also find it hard to start and make conversations going. Also, I am very bad at asking people questions. I didn't realise until last year (age 20) that I never ask people things like "how are you?" when I meet them, because it feels extremely unnatural to me. I don't see the point in those small talk things that other people seem to do without thinking much about it. When other people have asked me "how are you?" I've just said "I'm fine" and left it at that or what I used to say to classmates asking me in high school was usually something like "I'm alive at least" lmao. The times I do ask people questions is when I've been genuinely interested, which is not very often. What you mentioned about the handshake/high five/hug thing was interesting. For me I never really know how I should greet people I don't know very well so I always wait for them to take that first step. I know it's either hugs, handshakes or just saying hello, but I always feel uncertain in those situations (unless it's like a meeting with a professional person, then i know it's always the handshake, but I find it hard in more informal situations). Last new years eve I was with my two best friends (my only friends actually) at another girl's house and a few other girls were there too. I kind of know them all, like I've at least spoken to them all before more or less. When we first came in I didn't know what to do so I literally said out loud "so should we hug or what?" hahah and then I hugged the host. About eye contact; I can make it and sometimes it feels natural like with my family and close friends (though in some situations it even feels uncomfortable with my friends). I've also noticed that I tend to look away as I'm talking myself, if it's not just a short sentance or just a word. The thing is though, I don't know if I've always felt like that or if it started in my teens. The first memory I have of eye contact being a problem (and thinking about it) was when I was 14, so idk... But maybe I avoided it sometimes before that, but i just didn't realise or I don't remember. With certain people it feels less uncomfortable and with others it's more uncomfortable and I don't know why. Though I always try to look people in the eyes even when it feels wrong so I don't come across as weird. Relate a lot to what you mentioned about expressing emotions too!
Then I can just mention some other things related to being social: I remember in my early teens I had a hard time with teasing. First of all I was bullied in 6th and 7th grade, but when the bullying ended I got two friends (two of the bullies, if you can believe it). They used to tease me in certain ways and I didn't know if they were serious or if they were just joking in a friendly teasing way. Though, when they did that to me I was always upset and it seemed like they were annoyed by my reactions. Then when I was a bit older, like 15-16 I had an online friend and we used to skype a lot while playing minecraft. He also used to joke (I suppose?) in a teasing way, like saying "you're an idiot" for example. I think it was just jokes, but I couldn't help but take them seriously and I used to silently cry while talking to him om skype. Another thing in my early teens was how I hated meeting new people. I had very social and extroverted friends and every single time we met new people (either just new to me, or new to both my friends and I) it was like I was invisible. I tried so hard to be normal and act like them, but for some reason these new people seemed to almost ignore me. Thinking back I wonder if it may have been a combination of poor eye contact and closed body language without realising. I was also very quiet because I didn't know what to say and I got comments like "why aren't you talking?" or "why are you so quiet?". As a kid I have several examples of taking things literally. I'm not gonna go into detail, because this is already long enough but anyone can let me know if you want to know exactly what I took literally lol. I have always had friends. I even had quite a lot of friends as a kid, but I never made friends by myself. Either they took the first step or our parents did. I've always been bad at initiating social stuff and I remember mom telling me as a kid that I have to contact my friends and ask them to play with me, so it's not always them contacting me because eventually people will get tired and bored with me not being the one to contact them. Obviously that's what happened, because as I got a bit older I had fewer and fewer friends call me and we lost contact. The thing is that I didn't care, though. I felt no connection to those people, so not being friends with them didn't matter to me at all. To this day I'm still bad at initiating and I very rarely miss people. When one of my friends was away on holiday for a month last year she was all like "oh I miss you so much" and I didn't miss her at all. It's not that I didn't like her, because I really did, but I just didn't miss her the slightest. Of course I never said that to her, because I feel like a horrible person. I'm not 100% this is related to autism, but I've read about a lot of other people on the spectrum who experience this too so I assume it can be a trait. I also have some sensory issues, but they are a bit different to yours: Certain sounds, especially chewing, breathing, the whistling noise the nose can make when breathing, snoring, my brother typing on his keyboard/using his playstation/xbox controller and probably more. I have slept with earbuds every night since I was a kid, because I can't sleep if it isn't 100% quiet. I've always been a pretty picky eater. I hate like 85% of vegetables (which is ironic considering I'm vegetarian since some years back). The only vegetables I like are tomatoes (not cooked or in certain foods though), bell peppers, cucumber, leafy greens, onion and garlic. I especially hate most cooked vegetables! When I was younger I had a hard time with cooked onions and bell peppers in stews for example so I always picked them out (still pick out vegetables sometimes and I feel like a kid lol). Since going vegetarian I'm better with that and now I even like cooked onions and bell peppers in soups and stews, but not too big of chunks. I haaate feeling people breathe on my skin. I remember as a kid when I played computer games with my best friend and I had to put a blanket or something over my arm when controlling the mouse because I couldn't stand feeling her breath on my skin. Probably looked very weird... Another thing I hate is having pruney fingers, so when my hands have been wet for a while (like when swimming) I look a bit weird with my fingers all spread out so they don't touch and when I accidentally touch something when my fingers are like that it's very uncomfortable. I hate washing my hands for this reason and doing other things where I might get my hands wet. I also had issues with getting water in my eyes as a kid when mom used to wash my hair (honestly still have this problem, so I always have a small towel with me in the shower so I can dry my face if I happen to get my face wet, but it doesn't make me cry anymore). When it comes to special interest I'm not sure I've ever had one actually. I know I've had specific interests come and go in my teens, but I'm not sure they were intense enough. Though I was pretty obsessed with romance as a kid and especially a boy in my class. I know most kids sent each other love notes and stuff, but I took it to the next level and it was probably very annoying. I never got the hint that he didn't like me (even if he was almost always mean to me??). He could be saying no when I asked him to be my boyfriend one day, but the next day I would ask him again and obviously he said no again. I didn't seem to understand that a no on a monday, also meant no on a tuesday for example. Seems like I was a bit too obsessive with all that. Also, when I started reading about autism I've spent soooo many hours researching and thinking about it. I've been up until morning just reading and watching videos about autism (especially female autism) for hours on end. Like you I'm not that big on routines and stuff, but I really don't like last minute things. That was one of the big stressors for me when I hung out with those outgoing friends. They were very spontanious and I never knew what would happen when we hung out. We could have said that we would stay home and watch movies, but all of a sudden they decide we will take the bus into town and meet other teens. I had so much anxiety at the time and this was one of the reasons. I actually remember feeling like this but waaaay more mildly as a kid too when I was at a friends house and they suddenly decided that another friend would come there. I really didn't like it, but I never said anything because I didn't want to cause any trouble and just pretended it was no problem. I'm not really uncoodinated I don't think. Not that I'm good at sports, but... BUT, I have always felt like my gross motor skills aren't as good as other people's. When I was in kindergarten my teachers actually noticed that I was very slow and cautious compared to the othr children when going up in a swing or walking over big rocks for example. Because of this, I've hated when we would jump over those things called vaulting horses (I think) and similar stuff. I have always engaged in stimming behavior (you didn't mention anything about this, so maybe it's not a trait you have). As a small child I used to flap my hands when I was excited (sometimes even my legs if I was sitting down). Then I've always smelled my fingers and done a weird movement with my body while tensing it. This is something I've supressed pretty much all my life, because I somehow knew it wasn't normal. At age 12 I got another stim which was to run my nails across seams in clothes (specifically tops). Since learning about autism and the fact that I'm not the only one in the world stimming, I've embraced them (only in private or with family, but still). Now I flap my hands, rock, smell my fingeers, do the body tensing thing, run my nails across seams and other fidgety things and it feels so natural. If anyone read all of this, bless you lmao
Great video in the process of going through this with my daughter to get diagnosed. Both me (Dad age 59) scored high with online test I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 16 but I suspect I have trait’s as well. My daughter has gone under the radar being successful with GCSE & A levels but this has all come to the surface at first year at University with mental health. Videos like this are a great help to understand or recognise symptoms.
You are an amazingly intelligent and beautiful young woman. Your beauty is both in your heart and your outer shell. I know your inner beauty. Seize upon your strengths, which are many. Become the best in whatever passion you pursue. Never underestimate yourself and your abilities. You will go as far in life as you wish, as you have no limits, when focused on what you are passionate about!
A lot of what you describe is very familiar. I obsess over and want to learn everything about something, or buy the thing, and then it’s not really interesting anymore and I move onto the next thing.
thank u so much for this video! my two younger siblings are autistic and im happy to get as much info from different sources as i possibly can :) id definitely be interested in more vids on this topic!!!
I found the James Dean biopic starring James Franco to be very representative of me except I didn't become famous or die at 24 in a car accident. James Dean helped ne become ok with autism because whatever his neurology was it didn't stop him from accomplishing his dreams.
I have aspergers syndrome like autism. When I was nine, I was diagnosed with high functioning autism which some people explain my behavior style, even though I communicate with people to make them understand me, some people thinks I'm crazy but I'm not.
I was diagnose with autism spectrum disorder when I was 21 years old and now am 29 years old and I don’t like loud noises and lights and I don’t like dry foods
I’m currently in the process of getting an assessment for ASD, maybe if I show this to my older sister she’ll finally understand how I feel, I love her and she loves me but she doesn’t get it and that I should get over it and be more “normal”.
it's like not having hearing or not having a foot. It's not something you "get over" it's something you have. It's just invisible. Maybe a better metaphor is a heart condition or epilepsy. People can't see it, but that doesn't mean you don't have it, or that you can get "over it"...
Thanks so much for sharing! This video is so helpful for me (a mother) because my adult daughter and I have recently realized that she has ASD and will be assessed soon.
The distinction of ASD support level 1 isn’t necessarily what was previously listed as Asperger’s only: you could also be autistic with speech delay with the same support needs, not to mention that Asperger’s isn’t constrained to support level 1, and autism is variable in support needs for the same person. This is why it all got folded together: there isn’t a truly useful difference in practice. Also, should you end up in autistic burnout, you’ll find your support needs are likely to increase at least during that time.
I have a similar diagnosis to yours. I have never been able to work out how other people know when to hug. They meet, they greet each other, and suddenly they both lurch forward and hug. How DO they coordinate that? How do they know when it is a hugging moment, and when it is not? It is a mystery to me. I also don't know what I am feeling much of the time.
Suddenly my daughter stared talking with herself,with the walls,with the ceiling,dont KNOW,whsrs going on around...tslkinh,pointing,argunent,conversatiin eith herself....doing argugument with the walls,ceilings...
My doctor suspects I was misdiagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder and depression. She suspects I’m on the spectrum and I have to go in for a 6 hour evaluation and I’m very nervous.
I find my autism centres around predictability, when I was little I would constantly use the bathroom because I needed to know when the ext time I could pee was, it’s weird to be honest
It varies between each country and their health systems and even your location in the country. Also, whether you have to wait for public health or if you have or can afford a private appointment.
Your therapist told you not knowing a handshake, or a hug, etc is "strange"? They are probably totally unaware of ASD 1 people's feels and mental process besides what they read in some manual. It's not only not strange, it's very common...
I'm a men, and I was diagnosed with ''possible autistic spectrum'', but I'm still waiting for a more specific diagnosis. I find myself in almost everything that you say. Would it mean that I have female autism? hahaha
Maybe you're just a bit more comfortable with mimicking or masking? Autistic Girls are often in appearance less socially challenged than autistic boys because the way young girls play when they are young is very social. Do you have sisters whom you played with a lot as a child? Although there are exceptions of course. Also, you might simply have the high functioning kind that is not very noticeable. Like many, I would guess that you and most of your entourage probably had a hunch, but were never able to specifically name your condition. You are probably just unique, or maybe you had a journey that made you learn certain social cues preventing you from getting the diagnosis earlier.
@@mmesanaa I was raised mainly with my mother and my two sisters. I'm more artistic as a person, although I managed well in maths and science. I learnt mostly in my twenties, from different sources, about how to listen to others, share and all that stuff. For me it was not natural, so I did masking voluntarily, but it was the answer I found in books and self-help courses. I was not interested much in people before that, except famous songwriters and weird artistic people which I found fascinating. But again, I had difficulty to find these people in real life and was seeking for something I guess, that doesn't exist much. Now, my perspective is different about it. i find weird stuff in general people and I value kindness, more that eccentricity.
@@nracicot You sound like a very nice person with an interesting journey! All we can do is try to learn and to listen and to be better. I'm sure it gets difficult sometimes so Kudos to you for not givin up!
@@strictnonconformist7369 its the nonsense of a narcisist who has learnt to pretend to be autistic in order to get the attention they crave. its not rocket science.
i've had all of these issues/traits my whole life. i didn't even realize i could possibly have autism until i actually learned about what it was truly like outside of how it is portrayed in media. i genuinely felt like i was meeting my true self for the first time. everything made SENSE. thanks for posting this and making other autistic afabs feel valid.
I was diagnosed yesterday at 58 .59 next month.I self diagnosed 6 months ago read 10 books on the subject and wrote down everything I related to and ended up with 37 pages for the assessor.I did lots of quizes and questionnaires and fel exhausted at the end my assesment. So now I know why I have felt missunderstood and I missunderstand all the time.I love that analogy , I am a manual car.I do the inflection too.
I am the same with the eye contact.
I'm the same with complex noises.
Special interest /obsessions same.
I'm not rigid with routines but I don't like Surprises. No coordination lots of bruises. Thanks, we are similar.
We as autists try extremely hard. We have to try harder than neurotypicals just to get by. Please make more videos. And thanks.
TBH, age 23 is probably a pretty good age for it. Old enough to get to fashion a proper personality, but still young enough to be able to live with some awareness of who you are as a person. Hopefully, I'll have mine this year at age 43. The current DSM has made what should have been a relatively easy AS diagnosis extremely challenging and without other options for support.
I have autism too. Although I was diagnosed with high functioning autism originally I was told I’m now level 2 because of changes in the dsm. I have no Intellectual impairments but significant social and communication difficulties.
I havent been diagnosed, but wanting to get an evaluation soon. I always describe social situations kind of like a movie set. Its like everyone around me has had their lines memorized for weeks and I am still have to fumble through my script, hoping I find the right page and the right line each time
Having Autism would explain a lot about how I am and how I feel. You talking about special interests and cycling through them reminds me of how I latch onto things to the point of extreme obsession. My current favorite thing is Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles and, funny enough, it's what led me to really question if I have Autism because Donnie is autistic and I sometimes feel like him.
Just so you know, ADHD is really really cooccurant and comorbid with ASD and the stuff about executive functioning might point to that in case that seems worth looking into or if some ADHD things are also things you deal with
So glad to see a video like this from a girl my age. I've always wondered if I might be mildly autistic, but whenever I look into symptoms it seems to describe what is typically found in males. I've been diagnosed with other things, social anxiety, misophonia (sensory issues), etc but always felt that it left other things unexplained. I find so much of what you said extremely relatable. I've never been able to fully explain why I don't like last minute plans, and refuse to stay out past what I deemed a "normal time". Could never explain why I'm naturally uncoordinated and constantly fumbling around. Always hated hugs from family members, in fact the only touch I've ever accepted was from SO's which is somehow different to me?? I dunno. I'm rambling. I'm not trying to self diagnose here, but I'm glad you made this video because I feel a little less crazy. Maybe someday I'll look into a real therapist to settle this once and for all!
Thank you for the video 😊. I’ve always been interested in hearing a woman’s perspective on Autism and what it’s like for them so I do appreciate you taking the time to explain it, thank you. For what it’s worth I think the video is well done. Good work :)
I recently turned 21 and I just found out today that I have the same autism you do. I really appreciate you making this video because I am doing a lot of thinking right now.
Thank you for posting this. I've been diagnosed with bpd/bipolar over my teen years/20s and 6 months ago my therapist suggested I might have been misdiagnosed and have ASD1 but I ignored here (and was slightly angry at her suggestion???). I watched this video when you first uploaded it and everything you linked from it, and subsequently so many more UA-cam channels, as a result I'm going back to my dr this week to get referred for testing, god it has lead to a wild ride. I honestly wouldn't have done it without this video, but its now given me such a positive hope I might find a step forward after all these years of hitting a brick wall with therapy for bpd/bipolar, I wish female ASD symptoms were more widely discussed and the way you did in your video made it so much easier to understand and relate. I've shown a few family members the video too and they said how they could see the symptoms you talked about in me. Just, ah thank you. I might have ignored what my therapist said forever, but yeah, this helped me take such a step forward.
I have Asperger’s it’s autism too I found out when I was 52 yrs old.
I’m an autistic individual from Britain. I was diagnosed at 2 years of age and although I didn’t have much capability at young age, I have developed a lot over my teens and now I can cope with things better than before.
i just wanted to thank you, i've been suspecting i'm autistic for a while (i am diagnosed with ADHD) and your video just gave me so much understanding, i have almost the same traits that you describe in here so now i feel so validated ♥ im looking forward to get a diagnosis :)
I'm so jealous. I was diagnosed with social communication disorder, the one like autism but a separate category. It seems like they created the category and forgot about it. It made me hurt because even still I could not be accepted and validated by people. You're lucky.
Really amazing of you to share your story! You're a great gal and I really hope you never forget that. Ily ❤️
Im 28 and male and just now being diagnosed. I believe I learned masking from my sister while growing up.
You said it all so perfectly. Thank you!!! ❤
I'm not diagnosed with ASD (yet) and I struggle with putting stories into words. I try to describe pictures with a rich vocabulary, but I spend too much time only describing details. I can write poetry very easily, and draw what's in my head easily, just not writing down a story. I loved listening to your video, I relate to you a lot. Subscribed! 😁
ryann! I have always had the same thing with not being able to tell abt handshake, high five or hug, i feel u
Me too girl! Stay strong! You are so gorgeous and don’t let something like this put you down. I’ve got the same thing and I’m 13. ❤️
I am 28 and I’m getting assessed this month. I only found out I had ADHD a year and a half ago and then I went on meds and thought that was why I felt so different to everyone. I thought ADHD caused my anxiety and sensory issues as meds helped with these a bit. But then I heard about masking and OMG. For the past month I’ve been obsessed with learning about ASD especially in women and binge watching UA-cam videos. I love to listen to other people’s experiences of getting diagnosed later in life. I have been through an identity crisis this last month but coming to accept it now and learning more about myself and how I can help myself to live a better life. I feel like I’ve come home. I’m worried about telling people in my life. Did you have any trouble with this? I have such a hard time talking about my feelings that I have no idea how to tell anyone. The only people I’ve told are my online friends and my supervisor but that was because I had a meeting about absence. I work 12 hour shifts around people all day and it’s exhausting. I’ve been giving myself permission to not look people in the eyes as much and to talk to people less which is wonderful actually. Feels like I’m accepting myself more. I have pretty much the same things as you. I also have major food issues and it’s been an embarrassment my whole life. I live off very few foods I need to sort that out for sure.
Thanks to all females sharing their stories....my daughter suddenely was perfectly fine ,but due to stress,she stop talking,started talking with herself,with the walls,with the ceiling,arguments,be angry with herself,,walked in one room,another room,go upstair,down stair,even if we are calling her,doesnt response....continue tslking,argument,conversation non stop conversstion with the walls.....please help me,whst are these signs?she ehe a brillant hirl,no wandering,smoking,no chiling,was very islamic...syddenely something happen
Even my daughter has forgot,what's happenimg around,who is in the room,who's doing conversations with her,whos calling her,who is tickling her...just after one two hours ,what's ever is in her mind about to go anywhere,she asks,can we go to town centre?
Please tell me ,read my comments,what are tgese signs?
aayma the best
maybe you should set your daughter up with a good therapist who can help your family
I was diagnosed at 29 2 years ago I was always just looked at as shy and stupid growing up as myself and everyone I've met just thinks of level 3 pardon my example but Dustin Hoffman in rain man, do you feel once diagnosed that there wasn't any extra help ? I just feel it was good to know but people still don't look at me like I don't have it and are incorrectly judging my behaviour negatively
I don’t have a formal diagnosis yet but my doctor and therapist have suggested I have asd1. I relate to everything you have. Growing up I was bullied for not understanding social cues and having a hard time talking to people. I have a hard time with food textures and I don’t like hugs or loud sounds. I also relate to the obsessions with things like tv shows and bands for a short time and twilight was a big one for me at 11 lol. It’s been hard being bullied my whole life for being different when I might just have autism. I’d love to know more about how you went about getting diagnosed, i think it would feel good to have an answer
hey emily!! short version of how i was diagnosed was basically just searching for adult autism specialists in my area and going in for an assessment but i can definitely make another video going more in depth about my diagnosis. it was nice to finally get it confirmed, for sure.
I like the manual transmission comparison. I am going to use that. Thank you.
Same here
You explained this very succinctly and perfectly. I was dx 3/23/22. Was looking for more women to follow. Thank you.
This really helped me. Thank you for sharing your story. 💛
Really good video. I found it nice to watch because I recently found out that I'm autistic, at 20 years old. I also definitely share a lot of those same symptoms you have, as well as those reasons why we didn't realise until so late.
Hi, how have you been since getting the diagnosis 3 years ago? If you could do a video talking about how it’s been for you. That’d be helpful.
We seem pretty similar!! (I'm a 21 year old girl who was diagnosed in the beginning of this year)
Warning for a long text, but I hope you don't mind:
I also find it hard to start and make conversations going. Also, I am very bad at asking people questions. I didn't realise until last year (age 20) that I never ask people things like "how are you?" when I meet them, because it feels extremely unnatural to me. I don't see the point in those small talk things that other people seem to do without thinking much about it. When other people have asked me "how are you?" I've just said "I'm fine" and left it at that or what I used to say to classmates asking me in high school was usually something like "I'm alive at least" lmao. The times I do ask people questions is when I've been genuinely interested, which is not very often.
What you mentioned about the handshake/high five/hug thing was interesting. For me I never really know how I should greet people I don't know very well so I always wait for them to take that first step. I know it's either hugs, handshakes or just saying hello, but I always feel uncertain in those situations (unless it's like a meeting with a professional person, then i know it's always the handshake, but I find it hard in more informal situations). Last new years eve I was with my two best friends (my only friends actually) at another girl's house and a few other girls were there too. I kind of know them all, like I've at least spoken to them all before more or less. When we first came in I didn't know what to do so I literally said out loud "so should we hug or what?" hahah and then I hugged the host.
About eye contact; I can make it and sometimes it feels natural like with my family and close friends (though in some situations it even feels uncomfortable with my friends). I've also noticed that I tend to look away as I'm talking myself, if it's not just a short sentance or just a word. The thing is though, I don't know if I've always felt like that or if it started in my teens. The first memory I have of eye contact being a problem (and thinking about it) was when I was 14, so idk... But maybe I avoided it sometimes before that, but i just didn't realise or I don't remember. With certain people it feels less uncomfortable and with others it's more uncomfortable and I don't know why. Though I always try to look people in the eyes even when it feels wrong so I don't come across as weird.
Relate a lot to what you mentioned about expressing emotions too!
Then I can just mention some other things related to being social:
I remember in my early teens I had a hard time with teasing. First of all I was bullied in 6th and 7th grade, but when the bullying ended I got two friends (two of the bullies, if you can believe it). They used to tease me in certain ways and I didn't know if they were serious or if they were just joking in a friendly teasing way. Though, when they did that to me I was always upset and it seemed like they were annoyed by my reactions. Then when I was a bit older, like 15-16 I had an online friend and we used to skype a lot while playing minecraft. He also used to joke (I suppose?) in a teasing way, like saying "you're an idiot" for example. I think it was just jokes, but I couldn't help but take them seriously and I used to silently cry while talking to him om skype.
Another thing in my early teens was how I hated meeting new people. I had very social and extroverted friends and every single time we met new people (either just new to me, or new to both my friends and I) it was like I was invisible. I tried so hard to be normal and act like them, but for some reason these new people seemed to almost ignore me. Thinking back I wonder if it may have been a combination of poor eye contact and closed body language without realising. I was also very quiet because I didn't know what to say and I got comments like "why aren't you talking?" or "why are you so quiet?".
As a kid I have several examples of taking things literally. I'm not gonna go into detail, because this is already long enough but anyone can let me know if you want to know exactly what I took literally lol.
I have always had friends. I even had quite a lot of friends as a kid, but I never made friends by myself. Either they took the first step or our parents did. I've always been bad at initiating social stuff and I remember mom telling me as a kid that I have to contact my friends and ask them to play with me, so it's not always them contacting me because eventually people will get tired and bored with me not being the one to contact them. Obviously that's what happened, because as I got a bit older I had fewer and fewer friends call me and we lost contact. The thing is that I didn't care, though. I felt no connection to those people, so not being friends with them didn't matter to me at all. To this day I'm still bad at initiating and I very rarely miss people. When one of my friends was away on holiday for a month last year she was all like "oh I miss you so much" and I didn't miss her at all. It's not that I didn't like her, because I really did, but I just didn't miss her the slightest. Of course I never said that to her, because I feel like a horrible person. I'm not 100% this is related to autism, but I've read about a lot of other people on the spectrum who experience this too so I assume it can be a trait.
I also have some sensory issues, but they are a bit different to yours:
Certain sounds, especially chewing, breathing, the whistling noise the nose can make when breathing, snoring, my brother typing on his keyboard/using his playstation/xbox controller and probably more. I have slept with earbuds every night since I was a kid, because I can't sleep if it isn't 100% quiet.
I've always been a pretty picky eater. I hate like 85% of vegetables (which is ironic considering I'm vegetarian since some years back). The only vegetables I like are tomatoes (not cooked or in certain foods though), bell peppers, cucumber, leafy greens, onion and garlic. I especially hate most cooked vegetables! When I was younger I had a hard time with cooked onions and bell peppers in stews for example so I always picked them out (still pick out vegetables sometimes and I feel like a kid lol). Since going vegetarian I'm better with that and now I even like cooked onions and bell peppers in soups and stews, but not too big of chunks.
I haaate feeling people breathe on my skin. I remember as a kid when I played computer games with my best friend and I had to put a blanket or something over my arm when controlling the mouse because I couldn't stand feeling her breath on my skin. Probably looked very weird...
Another thing I hate is having pruney fingers, so when my hands have been wet for a while (like when swimming) I look a bit weird with my fingers all spread out so they don't touch and when I accidentally touch something when my fingers are like that it's very uncomfortable. I hate washing my hands for this reason and doing other things where I might get my hands wet.
I also had issues with getting water in my eyes as a kid when mom used to wash my hair (honestly still have this problem, so I always have a small towel with me in the shower so I can dry my face if I happen to get my face wet, but it doesn't make me cry anymore).
When it comes to special interest I'm not sure I've ever had one actually. I know I've had specific interests come and go in my teens, but I'm not sure they were intense enough. Though I was pretty obsessed with romance as a kid and especially a boy in my class. I know most kids sent each other love notes and stuff, but I took it to the next level and it was probably very annoying. I never got the hint that he didn't like me (even if he was almost always mean to me??). He could be saying no when I asked him to be my boyfriend one day, but the next day I would ask him again and obviously he said no again. I didn't seem to understand that a no on a monday, also meant no on a tuesday for example. Seems like I was a bit too obsessive with all that. Also, when I started reading about autism I've spent soooo many hours researching and thinking about it. I've been up until morning just reading and watching videos about autism (especially female autism) for hours on end.
Like you I'm not that big on routines and stuff, but I really don't like last minute things. That was one of the big stressors for me when I hung out with those outgoing friends. They were very spontanious and I never knew what would happen when we hung out. We could have said that we would stay home and watch movies, but all of a sudden they decide we will take the bus into town and meet other teens. I had so much anxiety at the time and this was one of the reasons. I actually remember feeling like this but waaaay more mildly as a kid too when I was at a friends house and they suddenly decided that another friend would come there. I really didn't like it, but I never said anything because I didn't want to cause any trouble and just pretended it was no problem.
I'm not really uncoodinated I don't think. Not that I'm good at sports, but... BUT, I have always felt like my gross motor skills aren't as good as other people's. When I was in kindergarten my teachers actually noticed that I was very slow and cautious compared to the othr children when going up in a swing or walking over big rocks for example. Because of this, I've hated when we would jump over those things called vaulting horses (I think) and similar stuff.
I have always engaged in stimming behavior (you didn't mention anything about this, so maybe it's not a trait you have). As a small child I used to flap my hands when I was excited (sometimes even my legs if I was sitting down). Then I've always smelled my fingers and done a weird movement with my body while tensing it. This is something I've supressed pretty much all my life, because I somehow knew it wasn't normal. At age 12 I got another stim which was to run my nails across seams in clothes (specifically tops). Since learning about autism and the fact that I'm not the only one in the world stimming, I've embraced them (only in private or with family, but still). Now I flap my hands, rock, smell my fingeers, do the body tensing thing, run my nails across seams and other fidgety things and it feels so natural.
If anyone read all of this, bless you lmao
(Had to make separate comments because my text was too long I think hahah)
Great video in the process of going through this with my daughter to get diagnosed. Both me (Dad age 59) scored high with online test I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 16 but I suspect I have trait’s as well. My daughter has gone under the radar being successful with GCSE & A levels but this has all come to the surface at first year at University with mental health. Videos like this are a great help to understand or recognise symptoms.
You are an amazingly intelligent and beautiful young woman. Your beauty is both in your heart and your outer shell. I know your inner beauty. Seize upon your strengths, which are many. Become the best in whatever passion you pursue. Never underestimate yourself and your abilities. You will go as far in life as you wish, as you have no limits, when focused on what you are passionate about!
thanks uncle michael!!
@@ryanngriff eww
What a beautiful skin
A lot of what you describe is very familiar. I obsess over and want to learn everything about something, or buy the thing, and then it’s not really interesting anymore and I move onto the next thing.
thank u so much for this video! my two younger siblings are autistic and im happy to get as much info from different sources as i possibly can :) id definitely be interested in more vids on this topic!!!
I found the James Dean biopic starring James Franco to be very representative of me except I didn't become famous or die at 24 in a car accident. James Dean helped ne become ok with autism because whatever his neurology was it didn't stop him from accomplishing his dreams.
I have aspergers syndrome like autism. When I was nine, I was diagnosed with high functioning autism which some people explain my behavior style, even though I communicate with people to make them understand me, some people thinks I'm crazy but I'm not.
I was diagnose with autism spectrum disorder when I was 21 years old and now am 29 years old and I don’t like loud noises and lights and I don’t like dry foods
Oh my gosh I totally relate to the handshake hi five hahah
I’m currently in the process of getting an assessment for ASD, maybe if I show this to my older sister she’ll finally understand how I feel, I love her and she loves me but she doesn’t get it and that I should get over it and be more “normal”.
it's like not having hearing or not having a foot. It's not something you "get over" it's something you have. It's just invisible. Maybe a better metaphor is a heart condition or epilepsy. People can't see it, but that doesn't mean you don't have it, or that you can get "over it"...
Thanks so much for sharing! This video is so helpful for me (a mother) because my adult daughter and I have recently realized that she has ASD and will be assessed soon.
thank you so much for this video! you’re amazing(:
I found out I’m autistic after 44 years! I’m middle of the road autistic.....
The distinction of ASD support level 1 isn’t necessarily what was previously listed as Asperger’s only: you could also be autistic with speech delay with the same support needs, not to mention that Asperger’s isn’t constrained to support level 1, and autism is variable in support needs for the same person.
This is why it all got folded together: there isn’t a truly useful difference in practice. Also, should you end up in autistic burnout, you’ll find your support needs are likely to increase at least during that time.
You are brave and powerful to share your life with us. Knowing is so empowering. Sending good thoughts your way. Thanks for sharing.
I have a similar diagnosis to yours. I have never been able to work out how other people know when to hug. They meet, they greet each other, and suddenly they both lurch forward and hug. How DO they coordinate that? How do they know when it is a hugging moment, and when it is not? It is a mystery to me. I also don't know what I am feeling much of the time.
Amazing thank you so much for sharing your story could you make a video on how you got diagnosed ? Xx
Suddenly my daughter stared talking with herself,with the walls,with the ceiling,dont KNOW,whsrs going on around...tslkinh,pointing,argunent,conversatiin eith herself....doing argugument with the walls,ceilings...
Where do you start to get a diagnosis?
I loveeee ur hair how do u get it like that , sorry to be off topic 😭
My doctor suspects I was misdiagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder and depression. She suspects I’m on the spectrum and I have to go in for a 6 hour evaluation and I’m very nervous.
I find my autism centres around predictability, when I was little I would constantly use the bathroom because I needed to know when the ext time I could pee was, it’s weird to be honest
Didnt know levels existed
love this!
Hello please respond. How long did an assessment take? I'm 23 and I'd like to take one.
It varies between each country and their health systems and even your location in the country. Also, whether you have to wait for public health or if you have or can afford a private appointment.
Just diagnosed at age 30. Lol.
Your therapist told you not knowing a handshake, or a hug, etc is "strange"? They are probably totally unaware of ASD 1 people's feels and mental process besides what they read in some manual. It's not only not strange, it's very common...
I hate having autism.
Better late than never. Woooooo :)
☺️👍
every autistic person has other symptoms ... not really true. Just how strong the symptoms are is different!
Just dont worry 💪😊
I can't say that I know how life was like in the days of yore but I think that modern societies are too fast paced!
Hi!
I'm a men, and I was diagnosed with ''possible autistic spectrum'', but I'm still waiting for a more specific diagnosis. I find myself in almost everything that you say. Would it mean that I have female autism? hahaha
Maybe you're just a bit more comfortable with mimicking or masking? Autistic Girls are often in appearance less socially challenged than autistic boys because the way young girls play when they are young is very social. Do you have sisters whom you played with a lot as a child? Although there are exceptions of course.
Also, you might simply have the high functioning kind that is not very noticeable. Like many, I would guess that you and most of your entourage probably had a hunch, but were never able to specifically name your condition. You are probably just unique, or maybe you had a journey that made you learn certain social cues preventing you from getting the diagnosis earlier.
@@mmesanaa I was raised mainly with my mother and my two sisters. I'm more artistic as a person, although I managed well in maths and science. I learnt mostly in my twenties, from different sources, about how to listen to others, share and all that stuff. For me it was not natural, so I did masking voluntarily, but it was the answer I found in books and self-help courses. I was not interested much in people before that, except famous songwriters and weird artistic people which I found fascinating. But again, I had difficulty to find these people in real life and was seeking for something I guess, that doesn't exist much. Now, my perspective is different about it. i find weird stuff in general people and I value kindness, more that eccentricity.
@@nracicot You sound like a very nice person with an interesting journey! All we can do is try to learn and to listen and to be better. I'm sure it gets difficult sometimes so Kudos to you for not givin up!
Antagonists need love to. 😘
This is just inverted narcissism.
What do you mean by that?
@@strictnonconformist7369 its the nonsense of a narcisist who has learnt to pretend to be autistic in order to get the attention they crave. its not rocket science.
Don't you mean maths !? Sssssssssss