I completely understand the no rushing situation. But I don’t like how he/she says they don’t want to rush into anything, but they want to kiss by the 3rd date and invite people to their house (to yk what) by the 5th😂 like what happened to not rushing 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️ if we’re gonna take our time, let’s take our time with EVERYTHING
Exactly..theyre not ready for a commitment but ready to fucc. That's why we need to stop giving it to them. We're not supposed to be having premarital activities anyway. Maybe if we go back to those days we'd appreciate each other more.
Facts!!! That’s a trick to get women to give up their power. That’s why so many women are broken, depressed, anxious and confused. That’s what happens when you out here having sex with everybody after the 1st, 3rd and or 5th date. Women hold the keys to sex and men hold the keys to relationships. If you want a relationship, you’re not going to get it just bc y’all had sex. We bout to go slow on everything. If he wants sex with no relationship, I guess he’ll have to find a boo boo the fool to use. I can’t believe women fall for this foolery! If 75% women stop having sex outside of marriage, watch how fast men will fall in line. The desire for marriage will increase. Women hold the key to morality. When we lose our morals, men surely are going to know them.
I'm 50 and 22 years married. For me life is about legacy. My whole existence is about my family and their well-being. Character is paramount. The most valuable trait for a mate is having a "growth mindset". Life will throw you curve balls. How can you adjust and overcome setbacks? I rock with you guys. Subscribed!
I understand men wanting to wait and see if she a good fit but don't tell us not to put pressure on you for marriage while you expect us to have sex and do wifey things while in the waiting. Like make it make sense.
It's the women's responsibility to set her boundaries. His expectations should not become your duty to carry them out if your not yet in the role and he hasn't not put himself in " husband" role either.
@@eileenwatt8283we shouldn’t be encouraging men to have sex as an expectation though. Men should be encouraging other men to hold off from sex before marriage.
Fornication is a sin and foolish because it opens up the door for demons. Any man who has no control and doesn't understand sex is for marriage needs true salvation, Jesus, deliverance from lust and understanding of what a healthy relationship start is and what a godly man is. There is no true manhood without Christ. PeriodT.
So many toxic relationship podcasts and platforms exist . Please continue to keep your platform respectful and positive and informative and healthy. I enjoy your guests, you guys and the deep conversations . Kudos 👏
Listen. Yall cant have it both ways. Dont want to rush, no pressure, not ready for commitment but ready for sex..no. yall preach the book when its convenient. Did we all forget about no premarital sex? Need to start holding our bodies to a higher standard. Tell these dudes no sex before marriage and youll see how much he actually likes you.. And make sure you know yall are on the same page because aint nothing like wasting your time..
That's how I ended up with my husband. Neither one of us were looking. We both had just gotten out of long term relationships but I kept the possibility open. We hung out and spent time together but I never looked at him as my man but I could see how easily women would be confused because of how he treats you. He was a gentleman. Very masculine and assertive. Showering me with the romantic gestures. We even went on a few weekend trips. I was at his home all the time. He really made you feel taken care of but I always assumed he was dating other people as was I. One day about 6months in, I just decided it was time to move on because I was ready to date with intention so I did. Once I decided to go in a different direction, it caught me off guard when he came after me and wanted to be exclusive. Two years later he proposed. Now we're married.
That "disappearing for two or three days" is important to note. It is often overlooked, because we all get busy. I'm extremely busy, but the truth is... we all make time for what and who we want to make time for. On the recieving end, this is a hard pill to swallow at times.
Just be wise enough to tell every man you're single until you're married. Dont be combative, dont rush the process, dont hound him down. Keep uour options open, be pleasant, and give the man applying the most proactive pressure your attention. Fluidity will save you a lot of time. Go into every situation looking at everyone as regular until they SHOW you how special their essence is.
Never tell a guy what you’re looking for…just watch him and let him show/tell you what he’s looking for. If it lines up with your goals then good, if it doesn’t then good…you can sneak away like a thief in the night!
@@caughtnwebb4819 keep it general. Sounds like games but it’s the best way to protect yourself. If a man asked me, I’d say “I’m looking to meet genuine people and explore the city together” or “just looking to create some cool, meaningful relationships” but say it casually. The whole point is to watch 👀 him! If you tell him what you want, he’ll do just that and it may not be genuine.
@@caughtnwebb4819 One possible response is: Someone's whose comfortable being themselves and knows how to govern themselves accordingly. With this general response, you may get your answer in due time because if they're someone who's normally respectful with upstanding character, then they may not have an issue with CONSISTENTLY demonstrating their positive traits. If they have overall undesirable, negative, and poor traits and habits, then they probably won't be able to hide that for too long, may end up showing their true character, or will normally be their belligerent, combative, dishonest, abusive, undesirable self, in my opinion. It's important to know when and how to appropriately and safely exit stage left when you recognize unhealthy patterns without believing you can change them or they will change for you.
Feisty and fiery are always used to describe Latinas. But if they were talking about a Black woman, it would be masculine, ratchet, loud, ghetto, etc. Black men refuse to see how biased they are
Very true, but even Latinas hate that term as well, even though it's much less derogatory. BM know they're biased but they don't care as they rarely get any consequences for their hate speech. So why change?
This felt like advice from the big brother I never had. Great vibes! You know people are actually listening to each other when they can reference points the other person made. I also loved the message given at 45:41 about rigidity and rules. As I grow and learn, I'm finding that I don't have to take such a guarded initial stance as though men are just dying to screw me over. When I operate from an empowered place, I know that I can raise a concern IF the other person is exhibiting patterns of undesirable behavior and set a boundary then.
I'm so glad you guys don't curse on your show anymore! I've been wanting to watch your show but couldn't because of the explicit language you used to use. But now I'm enjoying watching your show and can subscribe to your channel. So thank you for being willing to learn and grow. :)
Tysean and Ryan watching you mature with us is awesome! God is blessing you! Also, Ryan you're doing a great job multi-tasking 😂 Press on my Brother's. It's therapy to our community.
Omg, listening to these conversations makes me never want to be in a relationship. I feel exhausted and traumatized. When did dating become so complicated?
@@rtmclean2763 I’ll allow women to address what they look for in a man. An if I provide those qualities, then it could work. Case closed! However, that’s not what my comment was here to address. Maybe you should draft your own comment about what you bring! Thank you!
Genuinely is the key. Narcissists use vulnerability to entice the next “victim” for their narcissistic supply. Therefore, character would also play a major role in prerequisite for this type of interaction between males and females. A narcissist, would use a message of woes or struggles in order to psychologically hook his or her next victim, so that clarity in terms sharing vulnerabilities.
Whoever is dating Jay needs to hear what he said. It will be years before he is ready to get married. He is still thinking about bachelor pads and muscle/flex cars. Do you want to wait for him to grow up?...🤔
This is a weird conversation because you can say as a man don’t rush me but you still demand that she sleeps with you. Maybe if that wasn’t the case the rushing part wouldn’t happen. That part just makes this discourse a bit silly. Let’s just normalize not be sexually active with someone or pressure a woman to be while you are dating. Can you guys do that. If so I would take what you’re saying more seriously
This was one of the best episodes, very informative. Ryan even sounds mature 🤣. Seriously, guys please bring more positive single men on to give women the game.
I watch every episode and learn so much with each one. Y’all have to open the floor up to virtual guest for the married and single folks. I truly appreciate what you both are doing, definitely has provided some stepping stones for growth in my life.
This dude, who we deem as a good suitor just stated all of these great qualities he seeks in a woman but 2 seconds before that stated, he just bought a home for a single man, a car for a single man and there are things he wants to do before marriage.. when you get this woman, you only plan to waste her time.. I'm so over this ghetto single culture.. our community will forever go down the drain.. we don't value family.. and each other's true roles.. we're too selfish...The most successful men in the world are all married and were married when they acquired wealth.. and they continue to marry even after divorce so so maybe they know something we don't.. at the end of the day it seems like a character/moral issue we have in our community.. the biggest threat in our community is the educated bachelor.. he is just as bad as pookie...Pookie leaves you with bastard kids and the educated black man just damages every woman he comes in contact with.. nothing worst than wasted time
Marvin Mitchell explains it best, "Communication - frequency - [...] If I'm disappearing for like two or three days and going ghost, you probably ain't the one." I also like what Tysean Jackson says about not putting "pressure" on a man but not staying "idle" in a situation that isn't moving forward. I have one question, though, which relates to communication and pressure. Assuming instead of seeking clarification can be dangerous for her. Therefore, why do some men see questions that a woman asks for clarity as "putting pressure on him"?
My pastor preached a sermon years ago that stuck with me and it reminds me of this conversation of the difference between men and women. It was titled, “Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti.” This meaning men think about one thing at a time and in a box. With women, one noodle is touching 20 other noodles. They can have a conversation that starts with seeing a friend of yours and going to the gym, to the mall, transitioning to a birthday party and ending with dinner tonight. The man’s eyes are glazed over by the time she’s finished because she lost him after she jumped out of the waffle square at the gym topic.
Long distance relationships can work if the two want it to work. FaceTime is great. It gives you time to learn from each other before having physical time together.
Some men don't allow themselves time to be alone to get to know them self and what they want. They jump from relationship to relationship carrying trauma and hurt. Then, when they come across a good woman, their not ready to commit.
💯 men don’t know know how to be alone because they don’t have to. They always have some woman to choose from and chances are the women are decent. This is not always the same for women and women are usually a little bit more guarded, because often times single women have children that they have to consider. But yes, men are never alone- as in never. And they take all the baggage and all the unfairness, the meanness, hurt, and trauma, right onto the next woman for her to either add to or subtract from. It makes dating so much more complicated than it has to be.
Mr. Hines has an EDGE about him. 👏👏👏Beautiful VIBES!🍷 Well spoken. Simply dropping GEMS all over the show! Thank you sir, for gracing us with your presence!💯
This conversation you men are having is really important and extremely Amazing. Everyone of you sound mature and intelligent. It’s great to hear men have this real and intentional conversations💯💙Thank you all and Bless you All 🥰
Speaking my language, Life path number & Love Languages… At age 43, what I’m experiencing is most men my age are hyper independent and it truly limits their capability to let one in.
Men just need to be honest and tell women upfront what they're looking for and leave sex out of it while getting to know the other person. That way no one walks away broken when it/ if it doesn't work out. Honesty & respect, and communication go a long way. Men always know before the women if they're someone they want to seriously marry.
I absolutely love the insight that you guys have provided. This is the best dating advice I ever needed. The flow of this conversation was well articulated. Thank you guys.
What happened to men only dating when they are ready to marry? Other than that, men forget the lady could be ready and if men are not...now you just wasted her time. Do men ever take into consideration of her desire?😮 Im just saying. Because most women that I've spoken to about dating feel that Men date for sex and not commitment and that's not what women want up front
This is a great session. I’ve come to appreciate one of the best steps forward is when two people can sit and opening talk. Clothes on or off as it’s not about the physical aspect Rather it’s about the open and raw conversation and commitment that no one vulnerability will be used as a weapon. One drawback is when you both are on the same ledge and both of you have a fear of jumping first. I’ve learned from my own self awareness that there nothing wrong with leaping first. Just my opinion ☮️
A 26 year old coworker tried to talk to me, talking about how he can make me feel young and that he's trying to have fun. I'm 50; boy, bye! I'm not looking for anyone to make me feel young. I feel young and old, depending on the day, which has nothing to do with a man and everything to do with me. We're both teachers at the same school, and he's too young - clearly. He revealed his immaturity level big time, and if I give a younger guy a chance, it won't be one who thinks like him. 🤣🤣
The issue is that men say women should not force or rush commitment and I AGREE. However, Men should STOP rushing Sex if they are not ready to offer a commitment.
Yall will hold a woman accountable but neglect to hold yourself.. People just need to be honest. We can talk about how much we wanna fucc all day long..but when it comes to what matters its crickets. A lot of time can bw saved. Too many broken people walking this earth because of bs.. alot of times the man gives mixed signals to where shes asking questions. Yall will say what you need to say and keep her around. Stop opening legs until hes sure..
As a woman 3 years long distance is your fault- after a year something needs to give proposal relocation marriage. Time to move on if the relationship is not progressing!
Ryan was in his bag all episode! 💪🏽 Book recommendations, call responses, etc. Especially the final segments of mature guidance that reeled the conversation back to a space of coaching was A1. Very proud of Ryan in this episode! 🥰🙏🏽🎉 So many great insights about the emotional composure which Ryan also modeled so eloquently in tonight’s episode. Enjoyed the panel. Tysean is absolutely right - what IS your question ma’am!? Sheesh! #gettoit 🫠🥴😬 But had to shout Ryan out for the illuminating bright light he displayed tonight. Great job! 💥 🫶🏽 2:30
I'm thinking the same way @Ryan is changing, something is happening... his compassion, his kindness, the clear guidance on how to act with the partner while having sex, and his humility when he was wrong, by saying : "thank you for calling me out on..." Wow! Something beautiful is going on. @Ryan is the kind of man I would appreciate to date. Thank you for this show!
I find this conversation so needed. Self-reflection and introspection is happening…wow…thank you all for sharing and teaching through your experiences. 🙌🏾❤️
Excellent conversation with these gentleman! Well done! One thing I still here is the aesthetics, as Marvin mentioned ‘complexion.’ It’s interesting how we still in 2023-24 are viewed as women and men by our complexions. Deemed attractive or unattractive-Colorism….superficial and surface level. We as people of color deal with racism within our own communities as well as our Caucasian counterparts. I believe a beautiful woman is beautiful without being categorized, aesthetically. She is a virtuous woman.
Please have the Single Men link up with the Single Women for a Part 2 video...I would love to see how much these accomplished, well versed, emotionally aware people would agree on. I'll even come to ATL and volunteer with production :)
This was a great interview keep up the positivity guys new subscriber here I would like to add some advice for the ladies one of the things that I do because I am 41 and in the dating world myself is I definitely have read the book His needs Her needs, and the 5 love languages. I think it’s really important to ask these questions in the beginning what is that person‘s primary love language and if they do not know, there is a free test out there that you can send to them via text. It takes about 5 to 10 minutes to complete. Another topic I also ask a man do they know what their attachment style is a lot of times people do not know their attachment style and that is very important as well because it helps you understand if that person‘s needs were met as a child or if they have done the necessary work needed to have a secure attachment style. Plus it opens up conversation about all different topics. There is also a free test online as well to determine what your attachment style is. Hope this helps someone. ❤
Never ghosted- I have ghosted and then I go NO CONTACT! Ileave without warning once I tried to resolve! I am able to leave w/o looking back nor give another opportunity
My mate got angry because I reminded him of what he said and what he does are questionable he fell back from our normal rythem for 2 days. I am not responding until he calls like he said he would- he's will call when his care package arrives today- I'm going to listen and watch his next moves! He fall back once- I fall back twice, I am an emotion woman and cannot afford hot & cold!
Grateful that young men are going in this direction - seems like there is a wave of seeing value in and a returning to traditional mores. Great content for men and women, through a range of ages… even though y’all are still kinda knuckle heads🙃❤️
@@Heyu7her3 I agree ”traditional” can be interpreted differently, but traditions, for example religious traditions, are not inherently abusive. To offer a definition of term, when I said tradition, I was referring to the tradition of spiritual partnership.
What it all boils down to, is both men and women have the freedom to choose his or her person…the problem is, we don’t always want to be prepared to walk away from a person who is not aligned at the same stage of life as you may be. So we waste unnecessary time and energy hoping and praying from a potential standpoint and meanwhile, our true person is still out there waiting to be realized. Love, kindness, and understanding is never meant to occur in the form of a struggle…it flows autonomously without confusion and doubt. Thus there is no one size fits all as to how a man or woman must operate in order to form a meaningful substantial relationship because it occurs naturally and purposefully…not planned when the so called time is right.
I just want to thank you gentlemen for really finding truths for women. I just came across this podcast a few days ago and I’ve watched at least eight of your videos. Amazing, helpful, informative and fair. Thank you, thank you and thank you! Big fan.
I’d like to hear from Divorced Single men 45-55. I think the foundation of information is wonderful, but those men who have been married before with Christ directing is definitely intentional and their communication is outspoken very early. Vs the single divorced with the spiritual aspect not being as lead. They, have much more trauma, set in a place where finances are magnified, and bc they know what marriage is about, they are not so quick to be in a relationship but rather a person to have sex with. Younger men that haven’t been married… different perspective.
I had to log off after he said a woman should buy a man a labtop. It's funny how I knew the moment these brothers started talking that they are on thier way but not completely at their destination. Maybe because none of them are married. This certainly better than those woman bashing sessions but it's not hitting the nail on the head for me
Yall were mixing the definitions of polygamy and Polyamary.. Polygamy is one man/ woman with several spouses. Polyamory is free reign for everyone. Polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship style where people mutually agree to have multiple sexual or romantic relationships.
I wish I had caught this podcast live. The 1st caller almost sounded like me. Yes, it hurts but you can learn from your pain. I learned that it wasn't the long distance. It was the character of the man I was dating. Even if I had been living with this man...if his character traits were cheating and dishonesty...he will yield cheating and dishonesty. You can't get blood out of a turnip...unfortunately. Trust me on this one. You can take this to the bank of your choice. It's what you are going to repeatedly get from him, unless & until he wants to change. If he is not accountable, I can promise you that (in his mind) she did something to make him cheat and lie. Don't try to even figure out what went wrong in the relationship. You will never figure it out and you will waste more years of your life...trying to make it make sense. Oh, meeting the family does not hold much weight with dishonest men. I have found that they usually are dishonest to everyone...even their own families. They introduce all their women to their families...no one is special. It's important to know who you are dealing with. Look at his track record. If he has a track record of slipping and sliding, don't fool yourself into believing he is going to stop just because he met you. One more thing, I can bet you she is a professional or busy woman who does not have time to do anything other than trust whoever she is with. He saw this in her and that is why I feel he was so comfortable living his double life. Nothing could have prevented what happened to her...other than selecting a different type of man with character traits that align to hers. #unevenlyyoked #blessings
"They introduce all the women to their families....." THAT is so true. My brother was a playa back in the day and every new gf was introduced with the title "Mum, this is the future Mrs (our family name)" .They normally disappeared as quickly as they came and his announcement that they were his future wife was their death knell. It was the one who he DIDN'T introduce as his future wife who stayed the course........and has done for nearly 40 years.
@@montricec8795 I be sitting here with my pen and paper writing everything down and the fact I just started looking for a life coach/therapist in my area, this gives me a headstart
As a child of poly relationship out of israel i can say my relationships are still messed up to this day. Thank y’all for bringing information to me that i wish i would have known a long time ago ❤❤❤
Thank you brother's for this episode it most definitely needed for the brothers that are looking for that future wifey. Shout out to my guy Marvin Mitchell
mhmm good to know i have reached a milestone into my healing journey! very informative & interesting video , this is amazing content thank you for your works
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
I completely understand the no rushing situation. But I don’t like how he/she says they don’t want to rush into anything, but they want to kiss by the 3rd date and invite people to their house (to yk what) by the 5th😂 like what happened to not rushing 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️ if we’re gonna take our time, let’s take our time with EVERYTHING
Exactly..theyre not ready for a commitment but ready to fucc. That's why we need to stop giving it to them. We're not supposed to be having premarital activities anyway. Maybe if we go back to those days we'd appreciate each other more.
He says, "Let's be friends, but still wants the s$×
@@sinverrette9803< exactly 💯
Abstinence is key
Facts!!! That’s a trick to get women to give up their power. That’s why so many women are broken, depressed, anxious and confused. That’s what happens when you out here having sex with everybody after the 1st, 3rd and or 5th date. Women hold the keys to sex and men hold the keys to relationships. If you want a relationship, you’re not going to get it just bc y’all had sex. We bout to go slow on everything. If he wants sex with no relationship, I guess he’ll have to find a boo boo the fool to use. I can’t believe women fall for this foolery! If 75% women stop having sex outside of marriage, watch how fast men will fall in line. The desire for marriage will increase. Women hold the key to morality. When we lose our morals, men surely are going to know them.
I'm 50 and 22 years married. For me life is about legacy. My whole existence is about my family and their well-being. Character is paramount. The most valuable trait for a mate is having a "growth mindset". Life will throw you curve balls. How can you adjust and overcome setbacks? I rock with you guys. Subscribed!
I understand men wanting to wait and see if she a good fit but don't tell us not to put pressure on you for marriage while you expect us to have sex and do wifey things while in the waiting. Like make it make sense.
It doesn't make sense it's on us to stop doing it. Then we'll see the real.
Something for nothing
It's the women's responsibility to set her boundaries. His expectations should not become your duty to carry them out if your not yet in the role and he hasn't not put himself in " husband" role either.
@@eileenwatt8283we shouldn’t be encouraging men to have sex as an expectation though. Men should be encouraging other men to hold off from sex before marriage.
Fornication is a sin and foolish because it opens up the door for demons. Any man who has no control and doesn't understand sex is for marriage needs true salvation, Jesus, deliverance from lust and understanding of what a healthy relationship start is and what a godly man is. There is no true manhood without Christ. PeriodT.
So many toxic relationship podcasts and platforms exist . Please continue to keep your platform respectful and positive and informative and healthy. I enjoy your guests, you guys and the deep conversations . Kudos 👏
Listen. Yall cant have it both ways. Dont want to rush, no pressure, not ready for commitment but ready for sex..no. yall preach the book when its convenient. Did we all forget about no premarital sex? Need to start holding our bodies to a higher standard. Tell these dudes no sex before marriage and youll see how much he actually likes you..
And make sure you know yall are on the same page because aint nothing like wasting your time..
👏👏👏👏
Preach
Facts..speak on it ❤
Yes truth
Profound! No sex before marriage!
Listen up Young Men, find her and listen to her while being true to you. Marriage is for ever. I’m 76 years older and now I know. Amen
That's how I ended up with my husband. Neither one of us were looking. We both had just gotten out of long term relationships but I kept the possibility open. We hung out and spent time together but I never looked at him as my man but I could see how easily women would be confused because of how he treats you. He was a gentleman. Very masculine and assertive. Showering me with the romantic gestures. We even went on a few weekend trips. I was at his home all the time. He really made you feel taken care of but I always assumed he was dating other people as was I. One day about 6months in, I just decided it was time to move on because I was ready to date with intention so I did. Once I decided to go in a different direction, it caught me off guard when he came after me and wanted to be exclusive. Two years later he proposed. Now we're married.
Love that ❤
That "disappearing for two or three days" is important to note. It is often overlooked, because we all get busy. I'm extremely busy, but the truth is... we all make time for what and who we want to make time for. On the recieving end, this is a hard pill to swallow at times.
💯
Just be wise enough to tell every man you're single until you're married. Dont be combative, dont rush the process, dont hound him down. Keep uour options open, be pleasant, and give the man applying the most proactive pressure your attention.
Fluidity will save you a lot of time.
Go into every situation looking at everyone as regular until they SHOW you how special their essence is.
This comment wins
Best comment best way to do it
Never tell a guy what you’re looking for…just watch him and let him show/tell you what he’s looking for. If it lines up with your goals then good, if it doesn’t then good…you can sneak away like a thief in the night!
So how do you respond when they ask, "what are you looking for"?
@@caughtnwebb4819 keep it general. Sounds like games but it’s the best way to protect yourself. If a man asked me, I’d say “I’m looking to meet genuine people and explore the city together” or “just looking to create some cool, meaningful relationships” but say it casually. The whole point is to watch 👀 him! If you tell him what you want, he’ll do just that and it may not be genuine.
@@caughtnwebb4819You can respond vaguely or just straight up tell them, "I know what i'm looking for when i find it".....simple!
@@caughtnwebb4819 One possible response is: Someone's whose comfortable being themselves and knows how to govern themselves accordingly.
With this general response, you may get your answer in due time because if they're someone who's normally respectful with upstanding character, then they may not have an issue with CONSISTENTLY demonstrating their positive traits. If they have overall undesirable, negative, and poor traits and habits, then they probably won't be able to hide that for too long, may end up showing their true character, or will normally be their belligerent, combative, dishonest, abusive, undesirable self, in my opinion. It's important to know when and how to appropriately and safely exit stage left when you recognize unhealthy patterns without believing you can change them or they will change for you.
Feisty and fiery are always used to describe Latinas. But if they were talking about a Black woman, it would be masculine, ratchet, loud, ghetto, etc. Black men refuse to see how biased they are
Very true, but even Latinas hate that term as well, even though it's much less derogatory. BM know they're biased but they don't care as they rarely get any consequences for their hate speech. So why change?
So very sadly true 🎯.
This felt like advice from the big brother I never had. Great vibes! You know people are actually listening to each other when they can reference points the other person made.
I also loved the message given at 45:41 about rigidity and rules. As I grow and learn, I'm finding that I don't have to take such a guarded initial stance as though men are just dying to screw me over. When I operate from an empowered place, I know that I can raise a concern IF the other person is exhibiting patterns of undesirable behavior and set a boundary then.
I'm so glad you guys don't curse on your show anymore! I've been wanting to watch your show but couldn't because of the explicit language you used to use. But now I'm enjoying watching your show and can subscribe to your channel. So thank you for being willing to learn and grow. :)
Tysean and Ryan watching you mature with us is awesome! God is blessing you! Also, Ryan you're doing a great job multi-tasking 😂 Press on my Brother's. It's therapy to our community.
It’s good that your podcast does not talk bad about women. There are women that just need guidance and the truth spoken .
Omg, listening to these conversations makes me never want to be in a relationship. I feel exhausted and traumatized. When did dating become so complicated?
I knew I was healed when I realized I was willing to treat my next love as well as I treated my ex….instead of pulling back from the new guy
Real talk, just keep loving how you do… people will accept it or not… you just keep on loving 💟☮️✝️
Oh wow this is wisdom
I can't wait to get there. Right now I'm just trying to figure out where to start..keep shining sweets! ❤
That's when you know!
I need three thing’s unequivocally from a woman: respect, commitment, & empathy!
Excellent qualities for a man to want in a woman. Question, what is the man offering the woman?
@@rtmclean2763 Well go draft your own comment stating what a man would bring. This not what my comment was for. Thank you!
Easy Question what is the man bring... No reply, assumption = nothing?
@@rtmclean2763 I’ll allow women to address what they look for in a man. An if I provide those qualities, then it could work. Case closed! However, that’s not what my comment was here to address. Maybe you should draft your own comment about what you bring! Thank you!
Genuinely is the key. Narcissists use vulnerability to entice the next “victim” for their narcissistic supply. Therefore, character would also play a major role in prerequisite for this type of interaction between males and females. A narcissist, would use a message of woes or struggles in order to psychologically hook his or her next victim, so that clarity in terms sharing vulnerabilities.
Truth
This is so true 😢
Whoever is dating Jay needs to hear what he said. It will be years before he is ready to get married. He is still thinking about bachelor pads and muscle/flex cars. Do you want to wait for him to grow up?...🤔
Yes! I have to give it to him though he us upfront and honest. I just hope the ladies really listen.
This is a weird conversation because you can say as a man don’t rush me but you still demand that she sleeps with you. Maybe if that wasn’t the case the rushing part wouldn’t happen. That part just makes this discourse a bit silly. Let’s just normalize not be sexually active with someone or pressure a woman to be while you are dating. Can you guys do that. If so I would take what you’re saying more seriously
This was one of the best episodes, very informative. Ryan even sounds mature 🤣. Seriously, guys please bring more positive single men on to give women the game.
Ryan’s really growing a maturing from his guest. He radiates growth!
I watch every episode and learn so much with each one. Y’all have to open the floor up to virtual guest for the married and single folks. I truly appreciate what you both are doing, definitely has provided some stepping stones for growth in my life.
This dude, who we deem as a good suitor just stated all of these great qualities he seeks in a woman but 2 seconds before that stated, he just bought a home for a single man, a car for a single man and there are things he wants to do before marriage.. when you get this woman, you only plan to waste her time.. I'm so over this ghetto single culture.. our community will forever go down the drain.. we don't value family.. and each other's true roles.. we're too selfish...The most successful men in the world are all married and were married when they acquired wealth.. and they continue to marry even after divorce so so maybe they know something we don't.. at the end of the day it seems like a character/moral issue we have in our community.. the biggest threat in our community is the educated bachelor.. he is just as bad as pookie...Pookie leaves you with bastard kids and the educated black man just damages every woman he comes in contact with.. nothing worst than wasted time
Marvin Mitchell explains it best, "Communication - frequency - [...] If I'm disappearing for like two or three days and going ghost, you probably ain't the one." I also like what Tysean Jackson says about not putting "pressure" on a man but not staying "idle" in a situation that isn't moving forward. I have one question, though, which relates to communication and pressure. Assuming instead of seeking clarification can be dangerous for her. Therefore, why do some men see questions that a woman asks for clarity as "putting pressure on him"?
This was a great conversation. I love the guest speakers and the maturity and realness of the conversation. Thank you, gentlemen!
I love their level of maturity.
I just love when the guests talk more than the host
Hahaha I feel you tashan didn’t like that he get check on the energie wash tence between the 2 host 1:14 u
Wow….”I did the right thing but with the wrong person”. This touched my heart😢
The way how Ryan broke things down……and gave thorough explanations…Omgoodness! 🔥🔥🔥
My pastor preached a sermon years ago that stuck with me and it reminds me of this conversation of the difference between men and women. It was titled, “Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti.” This meaning men think about one thing at a time and in a box. With women, one noodle is touching 20 other noodles. They can have a conversation that starts with seeing a friend of yours and going to the gym, to the mall, transitioning to a birthday party and ending with dinner tonight. The man’s eyes are glazed over by the time she’s finished because she lost him after she jumped out of the waffle square at the gym topic.
Oooh i like that
Pastor Jeremiah Wright? I heard that sermon. It was on point and eye opening. Especially when he preached about the Nothing box.
@@kekekeys2102 I know that pastors use information from other pastors. I heard it preached by Pastor Lance Watson.
Interesting 🤔
There's actually a book by that title, that's probably where they both got it..
I'm so glad he's so open to a real woman instead of the superficial .
That's growth and maturity!!
The fella in the orange blazer is dropping so many good gems!
Appreciate you
@@ThrivingMoney❤
I like all the conversations. This is one of the best! I can feel the geniouness and warmth. The wisdom is coming thru...Love it.❤
Keep it Fresh!!! They’re going in tonight. Total honesty
Long distance relationships can work if the two want it to work. FaceTime is great. It gives you time to learn from each other before having physical time together.
Some men don't allow themselves time to be alone to get to know them self and what they want. They jump from relationship to relationship carrying trauma and hurt. Then, when they come across a good woman, their not ready to commit.
💯 men don’t know know how to be alone because they don’t have to. They always have some woman to choose from and chances are the women are decent. This is not always the same for women and women are usually a little bit more guarded, because often times single women have children that they have to consider. But yes, men are never alone- as in never. And they take all the baggage and all the unfairness, the meanness, hurt, and trauma, right onto the next woman for her to either add to or subtract from. It makes dating so much more complicated than it has to be.
Mr. Hines has an EDGE about him. 👏👏👏Beautiful VIBES!🍷 Well spoken. Simply dropping GEMS all over the show! Thank you sir, for gracing us with your presence!💯
This conversation you men are having is really important and extremely Amazing. Everyone of you sound mature and intelligent. It’s great to hear men have this real and intentional conversations💯💙Thank you all and Bless you All 🥰
Speaking my language, Life path number & Love Languages…
At age 43, what I’m experiencing is most men my age are hyper independent and it truly limits their capability to let one in.
Wow!! You can still fit in dear,don't judge
I am impressed by the turn around of this podcast. It has grown to be productive to both men and women compare to how they started.
Men just need to be honest and tell women upfront what they're looking for and leave sex out of it while getting to know the other person. That way no one walks away broken when it/ if it doesn't work out.
Honesty & respect, and communication go a long way. Men always know before the women if they're someone they want to seriously marry.
I absolutely love the insight that you guys have provided. This is the best dating advice I ever needed. The flow of this conversation was well articulated. Thank you guys.
What happened to men only dating when they are ready to marry? Other than that, men forget the lady could be ready and if men are not...now you just wasted her time. Do men ever take into consideration of her desire?😮 Im just saying. Because most women that I've spoken to about dating feel that Men date for sex and not commitment and that's not what women want up front
That's why we must know our worth as women. I have to say, it's great to hear Men knowing their worth!👍
This is a great session. I’ve come to appreciate one of the best steps forward is when two people can sit and opening talk. Clothes on or off as it’s not about the physical aspect Rather it’s about the open and raw conversation and commitment that no one vulnerability will be used as a weapon.
One drawback is when you both are on the same ledge and both of you have a fear of jumping first. I’ve learned from my own self awareness that there nothing wrong with leaping first. Just my opinion ☮️
Sometimes the woman will outgrow the man simply because the man doesn’t want to grow. Sometimes you have to leave people where they are.
I appreciate you guys.. This is a great show. I learned a lot about myself with this episode.. These men have blessed me with their insight.
This was great! So many great points! I hope one night I can stay up long enough to be present for a live! Thank you for this!
We hope so too! Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE
If he says I’m chillin… after you told him your intention RUN 🏃♀️
😂😂facts
A 26 year old coworker tried to talk to me, talking about how he can make me feel young and that he's trying to have fun. I'm 50; boy, bye! I'm not looking for anyone to make me feel young. I feel young and old, depending on the day, which has nothing to do with a man and everything to do with me. We're both teachers at the same school, and he's too young - clearly. He revealed his immaturity level big time, and if I give a younger guy a chance, it won't be one who thinks like him. 🤣🤣
Jay Hines likes Gifts, not acts of service.
I was thinking the same thing.
Hey @naeemahhuggins2284
This is Gena. And I agree with you totally!
I agree 100%. He definitely wants gifts (not small ones either).
The issue is that men say women should not force or rush commitment and I AGREE. However, Men should STOP rushing Sex if they are not ready to offer a commitment.
Yall will hold a woman accountable but neglect to hold yourself.. People just need to be honest. We can talk about how much we wanna fucc all day long..but when it comes to what matters its crickets. A lot of time can bw saved. Too many broken people walking this earth because of bs.. alot of times the man gives mixed signals to where shes asking questions. Yall will say what you need to say and keep her around. Stop opening legs until hes sure..
As a woman 3 years long distance is your fault- after a year something needs to give proposal relocation marriage. Time to move on if the relationship is not progressing!
Ryan was in his bag all episode! 💪🏽 Book recommendations, call responses, etc. Especially the final segments of mature guidance that reeled the conversation back to a space of coaching was A1. Very proud of Ryan in this episode! 🥰🙏🏽🎉 So many great insights about the emotional composure which Ryan also modeled so eloquently in tonight’s episode. Enjoyed the panel. Tysean is absolutely right - what IS your question ma’am!? Sheesh! #gettoit 🫠🥴😬 But had to shout Ryan out for the illuminating bright light he displayed tonight. Great job! 💥 🫶🏽 2:30
I'm thinking the same way @Ryan is changing, something is happening... his compassion, his kindness, the clear guidance on how to act with the partner while having sex, and his humility when he was wrong, by saying : "thank you for calling me out on..." Wow! Something beautiful is going on. @Ryan is the kind of man I would appreciate to date. Thank you for this show!
@@ednarencontre7602 beautifully observed. And 💯
I liked the advice he gave to the woman who had the man she was dating for less than a month, say "I ❤ you". He was definitely on point.
Just get to the question already!! 🤣 omg we as woman always over explaining it was driving me insane
👉 Dating Cards: hipodcastshop.com/products/dating-deck
I find this conversation so needed. Self-reflection and introspection is happening…wow…thank you all for sharing and teaching through your experiences. 🙌🏾❤️
Gentlemen, this was enough for me at 5 in the morning on the east coast. 😂 😂😂... so many hilarious moments and great energy! 👏🏽
Excellent conversation with these gentleman! Well done!
One thing I still here is the aesthetics, as Marvin mentioned ‘complexion.’ It’s interesting how we still in 2023-24 are viewed as women and men by our complexions. Deemed attractive or unattractive-Colorism….superficial and surface level. We as people of color deal with racism within our own communities as well as our Caucasian counterparts.
I believe a beautiful woman is beautiful without being categorized, aesthetically. She is a virtuous woman.
This was soooooo good. You guys are evolving so gracefully! So proud of yall. Love how far yall have come 🙏🏽
Mr. 29
Said he want to retire his mom before he marry her 👎🏾🏃🏾♀️🏇🏾
Man, I wish I had found this channel 7 years ago before I got married!! But I am glad that you are here for these women.
Tyshawn great point! Don’t stay too long in an unintentional situation….
Marvin is literally everywhere lol everytime I get on my phone he popping up.... alright Marvin you out here doing yo thang!
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Please have the Single Men link up with the Single Women for a Part 2 video...I would love to see how much these accomplished, well versed, emotionally aware people would agree on. I'll even come to ATL and volunteer with production :)
This was a great interview keep up the positivity guys new subscriber here I would like to add some advice for the ladies one of the things that I do because I am 41 and in the dating world myself is I definitely have read the book His needs Her needs, and the 5 love languages. I think it’s really important to ask these questions in the beginning what is that person‘s primary love language and if they do not know, there is a free test out there that you can send to them via text. It takes about 5 to 10 minutes to complete. Another topic I also ask a man do they know what their attachment style is a lot of times people do not know their attachment style and that is very important as well because it helps you understand if that person‘s needs were met as a child or if they have done the necessary work needed to have a secure attachment style. Plus it opens up conversation about all different topics. There is also a free test online as well to determine what your attachment style is. Hope this helps someone. ❤
Never ghosted- I have ghosted and then I go NO CONTACT! Ileave without warning once I tried to resolve! I am able to leave w/o looking back nor give another opportunity
My mate got angry because I reminded him of what he said and what he does are questionable he fell back from our normal rythem for 2 days. I am not responding until he calls like he said he would- he's will call when his care package arrives today- I'm going to listen and watch his next moves! He fall back once- I fall back twice, I am an emotion woman and cannot afford hot & cold!
I like yall (hosts) sitting together.😊
Grateful that young men are going in this direction - seems like there is a wave of seeing value in and a returning to traditional mores. Great content for men and women, through a range of ages… even though y’all are still kinda knuckle heads🙃❤️
Praying in Jesus name for more marriage minded, reconciliation for divorces and marriage.
We don't need traditional mores (which are abusive), we need goodness and decency.
@@Heyu7her3 I agree ”traditional” can be interpreted differently, but traditions, for example religious traditions, are not inherently abusive. To offer a definition of term, when I said tradition, I was referring to the tradition of spiritual partnership.
@@Heyu7her3We need both to be honest. Stand on morals and values, also brothers that truly love there wife or lady.
I love what he said, you cant force a man it need to flow.
What it all boils down to, is both men and women have the freedom to choose his or her person…the problem is, we don’t always want to be prepared to walk away from a person who is not aligned at the same stage of life as you may be. So we waste unnecessary time and energy hoping and praying from a potential standpoint and meanwhile, our true person is still out there waiting to be realized. Love, kindness, and understanding is never meant to occur in the form of a struggle…it flows autonomously without confusion and doubt. Thus there is no one size fits all as to how a man or woman must operate in order to form a meaningful substantial relationship because it occurs naturally and purposefully…not planned when the so called time is right.
I agree!
Men that are HOLY Spirit filled Prayed up will wait to Marry before sex.
I just want to thank you gentlemen for really finding truths for women. I just came across this podcast a few days ago and I’ve watched at least eight of your videos. Amazing, helpful, informative and fair. Thank you, thank you and thank you! Big fan.
48:24 Keep doing the right things. Be true to who you are.
I love your podcast and watch every week. I am so glad I discovered your channel. Keep up the great work, gentlemen.👍
I’d like to hear from Divorced Single men 45-55. I think the foundation of information is wonderful, but those men who have been married before with Christ directing is definitely intentional and their communication is outspoken very early. Vs the single divorced with the spiritual aspect not being as lead. They, have much more trauma, set in a place where finances are magnified, and bc they know what marriage is about, they are not so quick to be in a relationship but rather a person to have sex with. Younger men that haven’t been married… different perspective.
It’s the MAN’S job to use his discernment in picking the right woman for the right reasons.
These Brothas are speaking exactly how I feel.
So potent.
It's interesting the ppl who use the Bible examples as an excuse for polygamy ignore EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE BOOK 😂😂😂
Wish more podcasts on this subject are on this level of respect. Started my day with this and I'm feeling empowered ❤
I had to log off after he said a woman should buy a man a labtop. It's funny how I knew the moment these brothers started talking that they are on thier way but not completely at their destination. Maybe because none of them are married. This certainly better than those woman bashing sessions but it's not hitting the nail on the head for me
@ Ryan 😂😂😂 hey tookthe conversation all the way on another level baby I can tell he is real passionate about this!!!
Yall were mixing the definitions of polygamy and Polyamary.. Polygamy is one man/ woman with several spouses. Polyamory is free reign for everyone. Polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship style where people mutually agree to have multiple sexual or romantic relationships.
Thank you all for this! Noted! ✅️
Communication is Everything!!!!! A lot of what you’ve shared I find is very true from your male perspective 🙌🏽
I wish I had caught this podcast live. The 1st caller almost sounded like me. Yes, it hurts but you can learn from your pain. I learned that it wasn't the long distance. It was the character of the man I was dating. Even if I had been living with this man...if his character traits were cheating and dishonesty...he will yield cheating and dishonesty. You can't get blood out of a turnip...unfortunately. Trust me on this one. You can take this to the bank of your choice. It's what you are going to repeatedly get from him, unless & until he wants to change. If he is not accountable, I can promise you that (in his mind) she did something to make him cheat and lie. Don't try to even figure out what went wrong in the relationship. You will never figure it out and you will waste more years of your life...trying to make it make sense. Oh, meeting the family does not hold much weight with dishonest men. I have found that they usually are dishonest to everyone...even their own families. They introduce all their women to their families...no one is special. It's important to know who you are dealing with. Look at his track record. If he has a track record of slipping and sliding, don't fool yourself into believing he is going to stop just because he met you. One more thing, I can bet you she is a professional or busy woman who does not have time to do anything other than trust whoever she is with. He saw this in her and that is why I feel he was so comfortable living his double life. Nothing could have prevented what happened to her...other than selecting a different type of man with character traits that align to hers. #unevenlyyoked #blessings
"They introduce all the women to their families....." THAT is so true. My brother was a playa back in the day and every new gf was introduced with the title "Mum, this is the future Mrs (our family name)" .They normally disappeared as quickly as they came and his announcement that they were his future wife was their death knell.
It was the one who he DIDN'T introduce as his future wife who stayed the course........and has done for nearly 40 years.
I love this podcast❤ most definitely seeing things in a different perspective ❤
Me as well! I truly enjoyed this episode.
@@montricec8795 I be sitting here with my pen and paper writing everything down and the fact I just started looking for a life coach/therapist in my area, this gives me a headstart
As a child of poly relationship out of israel i can say my relationships are still messed up to this day. Thank y’all for bringing information to me that i wish i would have known a long time ago ❤❤❤
"War wounds will change YOU" FACTS! 🙃
Explain how you’re supposed to understand the difference between men that use the dont rush men to string you along and the sincere men?
Great content guys!! Keep it up. So positive - I love it! 🤗
Good night to the panelists, great energy.I'm enjoying.GOD Bless you all🙏🙏💓💓
This is bringing tears to my eyes.
It's also tougher, for a woman who has a certain level of what society deems as "success". I'm sure it is for men as while, as you said here.
Thank you brother's for this episode it most definitely needed for the brothers that are looking for that future wifey. Shout out to my guy Marvin Mitchell
My guy.
That “Damn” in the background gets me every time 😂
😂
Men don’t tell the woman-he lies about his intentions when he wants multiple women.
Correct
mhmm good to know i have reached a milestone into my healing journey! very informative & interesting video , this is amazing content thank you for your works
I love how you address the critics and naysayers of your video vs .compliments and insignificant ones, perfect was to expand on your content… chaos 🎉
To see other black men talking like this is inspiring ❤