The person who wrote that ridiculous comment obviously has no kids or is an uncle/aunty to a child smh. When it comes to the safety of your child(ren) there is no limit to your level of suspicions of others
Story 1: Not a mom, but I’m genuinely surprised at the amount of people who didn’t find Tracy’s actions unsettling. The boundary stomping could’ve potentially lead to an obsession or kidnapping. I truly hope Tracy calls one of those numbers because she seriously needs help and support. (SERIOUSLY still side-eying that second commenter.)
I completely agree with you... For her own sake, as well as for her partner's sake, Tracy seriously needs to get some help in order to properly deal with the news of her infertility....
A mother's spidey sense will always be correct when something is off regarding the safety of their child. Many tried to give tracy the benefit of the doubt or said OP was villianizing her but man...that update was something. I would have immediately noped out but I guess good on OP for calmly listening to Tracy and even helping her look up mental health options.
@puppetmasterey my cousin was sa’d 3 years as a young child by her uncle and her mom barely believed her. She’s grown now and I was furious when I found out.🫤 I’m sorry that happened to you. How can people let this stuff happen?!
Good for the op for nipping that crap in the bud. That could have escalated horribly. None of what Tracy did was for the benefit of the daughter. It was all about using the kid as a prop to help make herself feel better.
As I was reading story 1 my first thought was that it was too convenient that a professional photographer friend just "happened" to be in the park, that Tracy knew him and that the bf ok'd the photos. Most professionals require a signed release form to post photos of other people on their wed site, so there is even more to the story than Tracy is admitting to. In any event, it is over now and Op needs to just go completely NC with the both of them.
Okay James isn't even the bio dad, just defacto dad/fun uncle....That's nice, but he's letting his new girlfriend boundary stomp on repeat. I'm sure it's a mean thing to do, but if he's picking getting laid over this kids wellbeing, OP can literally put a stop to it immediatly. He has zero rights Update: Good on Tracy for at least fessing up and maybe seeking help...but now I'm side-eying the commentors who insisted it was all OPs imagination
@@martil.9058totally agreed. These kinds of people spew so much cognitive dissonance and disconnection from reality, it's mind boggling if these people aren't disowned from friends and family.
Another story where I feel like I'm taking crazy pills with people bending over backwards to criminalize the OP. Also people need to stop demonizing being friends with members of the opposite humanity, even exs. My parents got along better as friends after they split and their subsequent partners RESPECTED that. Even if it's not a bio connection James was that girl's dad for a short time and people also need to respect those kinds of bonds, he's OP's friend and he adores the daughter. And they really need to stop putting it on OP being "creepy" instead of the new GF who is exhibiting some of the concerning early signs we see in the true crime docus where kids end up kidnapped. Edit: nailed it, the new GF was psycho
My ex is an executive at a large company. My late husband was a RN. They got along great & my ex even gave gave my & my late husband's daughter nice gifts when he bought gifts for our daughter. He also asked if our daughter could go to Mexico with them for the grad trip of my oldest (the daughter I share with the ex) but it was only a year after my late husband, her father, died in a car accident so she didn't want to go. It had nothing to do with my ex as she thinks he's great but having just lost one of her parents a year prior, she just wasn't ready to be away from me for that long yet. My ex & my late husband both showed up for my oldest. Everyone got along. Her step-mom is fantastic & didn't ever boundary stomp. My ex immediately backed me up anytime my daughter tried playing us against each other so she stopped trying that when she was 6. If he had questions or a different perspective, he'd call me back after she went to bed so we could discuss further but in front of her, we were always a united front. It's nice when everyone can be adults.
I can't put my finger on it but something really seems ....OFF, with that update. Almost like it wasn't the same person writing it who wrote the original story.
I would have thought that any half reasonable professional photographer would require a signed consent form to place images online of ANYONE who is a subject in their photographs, let alone a child. This could have gone so badly for the photographer if OP decided to take legal action
Not a parent but I could see there was something weird going on with Tracy from a mile away. No idea what is going on with reddit that they decided to villianize the OP the way they did. Might just be because they’re all high schoolers.
6:10 OP has the photographer saying he was told he got permission from James, and James saying he didn't, SCREENSHOT BOTH AND CROSS-SEND THEM! Let everyone know that someone is lying! No, OP is going to confront Tracy. Fat load of good it's going to do?
Yes! Always show proof about liars especially when it involves your kids safety. Calling out their bs with proof is the best way. That way they can't gaslight.
Definitely shows that the gf is a liar, a manipulator & an opportunist. James is in for a rollercoaster ride with her. I'm surprised OP didn't warn James about her behavior, not that he'd actually listen or take it seriously smh
Halfway through the story I knew that the new girlfriend was not as innocent as people seem to think she was. Her insistence that that was James's daughter besides many times being told that it wasn't told me something was off with her, but hey people judge away.
Nah, Tracy is stomping on your boundaries. She needs to be told off. That commenter trying to defend Tracy is an idiot. After update: at the very least, tell your ex in warn him that Tracy is insane! If Tracy can act like this around a child that's not even related to him, how is she going to act around his nephew?
That second comment on the first story really pissed me off. It turns out OP was correct in her assumptions, and for someone to vilify her like that is just gross. I commend her for having that talk with Tracy and suggesting she talk to a professional. I really do hope Tracy gets the help she needs.
There's nothing wrong with James still being in the daughter's life. Maybe it's because I have a large extended family with "aunties" and "uncles" and play-cousins, but I don't like the insinuation that there's something INHERENTLY wrong with men emotionally bonding with kids that aren't theirs. As long as the parents know them and trust them to be a safe person, it's fine. That said, the fact that this dude is ignoring OP's concerns is a problem, and is reason enough to cut contact between him and her child. Also, the commentor who said that OP has no reason to be upset with Tracy is buggin'. She allowed a picture of OP's child up when OP didn't give permission. Tracy either needs to get over whatever insecurity is pushing her to act this way, talk to James about his continued friendship with OP and her child, or she needs to leave. Those are Tracy's options.
Right? It's always no problem when it's a woman bounding with the kid. Being a single mom is hard enough already. James is a friend and support. No reason to cut him out imo
lmao I would have loved to witness that mood booster story. That aside, ngl I very much prefer malicious compliance/petty revenge mood booster stories more than the “i have a crush but i don’t know how to tell them” ones.
Tracy isn’t only delusional, but as a mother myself, I’d be keeping my child so far away from her, she’d never see us out in the light of day. She is scary.
Not a parent but I find so many people that only went in on OP to be odd. The situation was so weird it would give even a grandparent, aunt or uncle the ick. It could have easily been a situation of a woman looking to commit kidnap or worse. Remember, this is a FOUR YEAR OLD. Being alert for creeps (regardless of gender or reasoning) is absolutely necessary.
That update was delightfully mature with good communication and OP taking sound advice from the community. I always like seeing proper steps taken to deal with the situation. I hope therapy helps Tracey deal with her infertility and she makes peace with it
STORY 1: it's weird how James pretended not to be aware of his gf's odd behavior. What's worse, he never took the initiative to speak with OP about his gf's obsession with calling him the "daddy". If OP hadn't put her foot down, he would've allowed the odd behavior to continue until it escalated. STORY 2: PSA: Many people have handicaps that aren't physically visible. Example: hearing impairment/deaf, arthritis, mental disabilities, emotional disabilities, osteoporosis, multiple sclerosis etc. People like that supervisor don't have the right to police or chastise people for not having the stereotypical handicap that they want to see. Most people like that supervisor don't have a handicap themselves or know anyone with a handicap. Yet, they feel they have the authority to dictate to others whats considered a handicap smh
@gordybrown3667 OP states that James mentioned he had a conversation with the gf about her referring to him as the child's dad. So he knew she was being weird
It should have been clear to anyone reading that story that there was something very off with Tracy, no matter what the reason was. OP told her that her daughter was not James's kid, but Tracy refused to believe it, and kept saying she was his daughter. She wouldn't let it go. This really should have been everyone's first clue something wasn't right here. Amazing how many people chose to just ignore such a big red flag.
"He's not a baby sitter" BRO anyone who baysits is a babysitter, and he's a free baby sitter who loves her kid. I wish you could see relationships more maturely because you seem to think that exes HAVE to stop talking even if they were friends before.
post-relationship friendship can be healthy, particularly for children. tracy is the crux of the problem. children do not do well when loved ones disappear from their lives.
Wouldn’t it make a more resilient child if you teach them how to handle negative emotions instead of placating them with a half assed “dad” relationship that puts daughter in contact with someone who is delusional and willing to lie in order to get their way with your kid? (Sorry Tracy but she is acting pretty unhinged and needs to talk to someone.) and if he chooses to still be with Tracey then op needs to dip out and protect her kid. She sounds like one trigger away from talking that kid on vacation and bolting with it.
I'm glad this was something Tracy talked to OP about and that OP showed compassion/encouraged her to get therapy. It might be a kind of atypical situation for everyone involved but it sound like the adults tried to sort it out by just talking to each other as decent people in the end.
To me, Tracy's responses seemed sort of sad and I felt some pity for her. BUT I would also make sure that she wasn't alone with my child again. After hearing the reason for Tracy's behavior, I was happy that OP encouraged her to seek help from James and professionals. But, unless my daughter requested it, she wouldn't see James. Even then, I'd probably try distracting her with something else fun. Like LG said, time to move on. The mood booster was pure fun! Thank you for finding and reading all these stories for us!
it is unfair to tell OP who she can't leave her child with a friend of hers if she trusts him or the fact that they dated and are now friends again is not your or any persons business
Tracy told the photographer that james was the father and it's ok to put up the pictures. The photographer should know better. You have to get permission from the parent, not anyone else. That can get you in legal hot water.
If she's "just trying to support the relationship", why TF she keep acting like he's the bio dad despite being told Repeatedly it isn't so? Is she stupid? Or just being an ass? I hate when the commentors just add their own spin on the story, complete with ignoring stated facts and adding inprobable motives. Wtf. I HATE that comment. After update...I see, chick is in grief/meltdown mode. Still no pass for her, but I get it. I'm glad she confessed & hope she gets that therapy. I got No problems with not cutting James out completely. I think it's not a necessary thing to do, unless other factors arise. Even tho it was a bad break up, I made up with a couple exes, becoming friends. One of those ended up being a large part of my kid's childhood, the only negative consequence being that it tore us Both up when said friend died at 35. But that could happen to anyone. We consider his mother my kid's Extra grandmother to this day. The other Ex I refriended? My now husband & I ran a D&D game as Dude's Bachelor party. Some people can be this way. Friends with an Ex and not wanting to eff them. And them getting along with your current. It Can happen if everyone is semi-mature about it (I will forever hesitate to call myself "mature", lol, I know I can be pretty juvenile about silly things, but also I know when to change modes for serious matters.🤷♀️😅)
I can't have kids, but I have NEVER tried to use other people's kids as substitutes, that is not ok, and Tracey needs major help before she kidnaps a pregnant woman and cuts the baby out of her. There are other options! My husband and I are going to foster-to-adopt. I just really hope she gets help.
Story 1 (before update): James new girlfriend is crazy, and as long as he is with her, he is not a safe person for your child to be around. Time to cut the cord. Story 1 (update): Confirmed Tracy is crazy, it is not safe for her to be around your child, if you continued to allow her contact a kidnapping would be inevitable.
Story 1: Two real concerns when starting a relationship with a new partner when you have a child; the new partner wants to get rid of the kid and views them as competition or they want to become instant Mum or Dad. Insist on "Auntie Tracy", and confirm that James isn't the bio-dad, It's "Uncle James". The strong father-daughter bond comment is weird, is Tracey the kind of woman who'd expect a reliable guy to be a dad to another man's baby even if she cheats? Don't take pictures of someone else's kid without their consent. That's a potential kidnapper. Protect your daughter OP. Contact the photographer and get their perspective and ask them to take down the photos of your daughter. There's also the issue of what happens when James is planning his own family or the OP starts a relationship with a new guy? Update: So Tracy is infertile and can't stand another woman being a mum around her and her new man. She set up the photo shoot🤮 Tracy is desperate and dumb. Tracy will always be Aunite if even that to the daughter, she will never be Mum. Oh and bad communication with James, Tracy shouldn't be a mum, she's immature and selfish.
Children are not a prop for your vanity, unless you're very uncaring. Why is it that when you hear about someone just coincidentally happening to be where one of the protagonists is, it turns out that was a lie and the "someone" stopped by because one of the protagonists asked them to come? The setup about a professional photographer who "just happened" to be nearby, and who "just happened" to want photos for their online portfolio during the short time that OP had to briefly leave her child sounded utterly phony. Assuming that Tracy and James actually stay together, they can have children either by adoption, or by finding a surrogate mother to give James a biological child who she could raise, if she and James choose that. And has James yet proposed to this woman who turns out to be a manipulative liar as far as children are concerned? The whole dilemma of finding out that you're infertile still leaves numerous possible options that don't involve lying to yourself and others! Tracy may be grieving over her infertility, but it's not unheard of for women and men who get that diagnosis to go on to conceive one or more children. Doctors can't predict everything, so Tracy may have given up too soon. Unless she was born with no ovaries, like Jamie Leigh Curtis, she has eggs that could be fertilized in vitro and then she could carry that embryo, or another woman could. Tracy deceived both James and OP to try to heal her own sadness, but instead she got exposed as a liar. She'll be lucky if her relationship with James continues once he figures out that she lied to him and to a young child's mother to put unauthorized photos of a vulnerable 4-year-old online without permission while insisting that the child was James' daughter, when she knew full well that she wasn't!
James has been in her life 3 years out of the 4 she has been alive. He is more of a parent than anyone is giving him credit for. Yeah hes not bio dad but he bonded with her and she with him. Yes Tracey needs to stop saying g he is "daddy" but a little family portrait isnt a big deal. Posting them online without moms consent is definitely a no no I just think OP is using James as a parent still without the benefits of being the parent. If that makes sense
It’s not just the photos. It’s the fact she lied to the photographer, published a photo of someone else’s kid without consent on a website (illegal as fuck). Who will she lie to next? Before you know it, this woman would take the kid on a trip to Disney and disappear.
Oh for Pete’s sake - ignore that second comment. What is that person smoking? OP is not trying to “hate” Tracy nor does she have an unreasonable grudge. She is just doing what’s in the best interest of her child. If OP had gone ballistic after the first incident, yes I would have agreed she was out of line. But she’s simply trying to set boundaries as respects James’ relationship with her daughter and that’s what a good mother does. You may disagree or feel you’d do it differently, fine, but it’s not hating Tracy. If James and Tracy don’t agree with your boundaries, they can bow out of your daughters life. I don’t agree 100% with the narrators take on this but since he’s usually spot on with everything so far, it’s mild enough that I’ll let it go. If possible it would be nice to allow James to continue to see your daughter when he wants to for her sake. Kids do bounce back but sometimes these things leave emotional wounds and at her young age it would be nice to avoid abruptly removing the only male figure she’s ever known. Sitting down formally with James and Tracy might be an idea, to discuss everything and for you to set the boundaries you want in place. If they aren’t willing to agree with you, then there’s your signal to break things off. Just a thought.
At four years old, OP's if the daughter stops seeing James and there are no reminders (pictures, references in conversation, pointing out that James gave her that toy, etc.) by the time she is 10 she won't even remember him. Personally, I think this situation is not tenable in the long run. I think OP is going to move on with someone else, and that person is probably not going to be comfortable with James still being in the picture, especially since James isn't related to the daughter. By that time the daughter will be older and it will be much harder on her.
S1: and that's why you don't put boyfriends and girlfriends into parental roles--which, despite OP's denials, is what happened. The exes, and their friends, and their friends of friends are in and out of the revolving door of the child's life. No abuse has happened, and OP did the right thing, but children don't always "bounce back".
I had to pause less than a minute in because the math is not making sense. So they dated for 3 years, and broke up 2 years ago, meaning they started dating 5 years ago. But op said “Since my daughter is obviously older than 3, it’s clear that she is not biologically James’ daughter.” The child is 4 and you started dating 5 years ago, how is it “clear” to everyone that she is not biologically his? Edit: grammar
I learned long ago to not let most of the inconsistencies in a story bother me. The writers are by no means professional and I doubt they even reread their work before posting it. And it is often confusing as hell to suss out SIL, brother's wife, husband's brother's wife, etc. I am someone who reflexively checks ages and the differences between ages, so if I take these stories to be vetted before publishing I would lose my mind trying to figure out how those numbers add up.
That was confusing me too. And right after that OP says that her daughter was 1 when they started dating. 1 year old+dating 5 years ago=6 year old daughter.
Depending of where you live asking for consent for pictures in public places is a curtesy. Not saying that what the gf did is right. Also taking pictures of strangers IS a bit creepy specially if they are children. Just because it’s legal it doesn’t automatically make it moral.
Story 1: It might hurt the daughter a bit upfront, but it's probably best to cut all contact with James so long as he's with Tracy. She has crossed so many boundaries and I would've noped out of there.
I'm not finished with the story yet, and obviously the new girlfriend is crazy, but op shouldn't have let her daughter get so attached to a man that she wasn't serious enough about to move in with.
Yeah, if she's only seeing him once every 6 weeks already, you've already (inadvertently) done the incremental distancing. No more increments are required. Sounds like she'll miss the nephew more than the man himself... but she'll get over that too. "Out of sight, out of mind" applies even more for small children, especially when it comes to all of those interchangeable tall people hovering above them.
Story 1: the only thing I disagree with in Lost Genre’s commentary is that Tracy won’t necessarily be able to adopt until she gets a LOT of counseling and exhibits a healthy, stable mindset and behavior.
Adding onto this, adopting is not meant to be a fix to someone who can't have children, or conceive with their partner naturally. A child is something to be cared for,loved unconditionally and guided well enough to be raised into a responsible adult.
Omg I'm so frickin irritated with everyone blaming OP and acting like Tracy isn't outta pocket!! I DOUBT that photo shoot was a happenstance and it is BS that they are acting like James is only letting them come around cause he wants to he a "good guy". This is BS. James was a father figure and people are like "welp you two aren't screwing so rip them from her life!"
Again Reddit attacking the OP & blaming her for shit that isn't her fault? "You are a stressful presence in their relationship." Ummm I'm sorry, who keeps inviting OP & her daughter over when James had his nephew around? Oh, that's right, JAMES! "Tracy is trying her best to support YOUR DAUGHTER'S happiness" WHAT?! Where in that post is Tracy "supporting" the girl? Also according to the post James never gave any consent to the photos. AND his nephew ISN'T HIS KID!! So the photographer would need James brother or sisters consent. I swear Reddit LOVES to spin their own narratives & self insert 🙄🙄 After Update: Sooo this woman has issues & keeps making shit up for her own gain?! Nah girl, seek some therapy. Also... did she apologize?! From the post it sounded like she didn't, so I'd still be very cautious around her with the daughter.
I feel a lot of people (including you, LG) are underestimating the importance of a father figure at early stages of child development and automatically assigning 'creep factor' simply because they are not blood related. It's a bad faith argument and a disservice to the man who has taken on a fatherly role despite a lack of actual relationship. If he just disappears now it could cause abandonment issues later in life
Exactly, and it's extremely sad seeing as LG is a father himself. Do you think your kids won't have problems if you outrught abandoned them? Look at the stories LG himself talks about whwre the OP had a father abandon them and they have many issues.
I feel like with all the talk around mothers people forget that fathers play just as big a role. People probably forget the father's play a huge role in children's life just because they weren't the ones to give birth to them.
@@sorantohell5096 As it is they only see James about once every six weeks, so there is already a distant relationship. The little girl is not feeling abandoned, and Op never tells us anything about her family life. She may have a father and brothers who are involved with the little girl.
If I were OP. The LAST thing I’d be doing, is helping Tracy look for a therapist! I’d be _______ that _____ up; for doing something so mentally deficient and gross! 😡
In regards to the photographer, threaten a lawsuit if they refuse to remove the pictures. Really OP is allowing her to be used as a side piece by James when his relationships down work out. Okay that discussion OP had with Tracy just made more red flags. OP should warn the parents of James nephew for his protection as this GF has issues. That woman could attempt to steal someone else's child.
i'm so confused about the over woman's explanation lol. Her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's child, who he has no biological relationship to and only now has a corial family friend relationship is the closest she'll ever get to a biological child of her own??
Going to have to disagree with LG on this one. A child and a man who is not her father can have an unbreakable bond for life and no one should get in the way of that just because “people move on and the kid should too”. If this had happened for me, I wouldn’t have had the world’s best father figure. My bio dad had no interest in me. My mom’s ex did. He loved me like his own. I can’t count the times that he’s been there for me, and I for him. We couldn’t love each other more if we were blood related. He’s at the head of my family at every event, he is so precious to us. My kids are so attached to him, and they didn’t get close to my husband’s father because he didn’t welcome it. So I wouldn’t have had a dad, and my kids wouldn’t have had a grandfather. There are a million precious memories and moments that we all would have missed all these years. Even to this day-my daughter is in University and she’s living at home while she attends-but my chosen father will call her on the phone from his city and she’ll come thumping down the stairs and run out the door so that they can watch the space station go overhead together from their respective cities. They’ve been doing this since she was little. I bought them a telescope so they could look at the night sky together. Love is love, and it’s not ok to snuff it out for selfish reasons. Not because it’s more convenient for you to do so. This man and my mother divorced when I was six years old. I am now in my forties and he’s still a constant presence in my life. He calls my kids and sees them regularly. If he needs some help on something he calls my son and my son goes over there. Yes it’s easier and cleaner for the parents to break and never see each other again, but that’s selfish when the kid has a bond with the non bio partner and that partner cares deeply about that kid. And yes, I was there through both of them dating other people. It can get awkward-but at least I didn’t get my heart broken by losing someone that I lived very much and who it was clear that he loved me too.
I hope Tracy gets some mental help, I can't imagine her medical news was easy on her. I can't tell if her being honest w OP is a sign she knows she needs/ wants help or if it's just a continuation of her delulu-ness. either way, OP needs to distance herself!
There is 2 problems: 1- the fact OP still hanging with James, and not in a bad way but since he has a relationship i think it should be more a once in a time thing if need it since they still friends. 2- the fact Tracy went like this despite OP keep repeating the fact James isn't the father. The comment 2 sounds like "that ex" or "that ex's gf, since it twist the fact James never give permission to any of the photos and how convenient that friend was there all the time. Isn't that sus? While i agree OP is taking James to much into consideration and for a "she will feel sad" situation than her daughter's safety around Tracy.
That last comment supporting Tracy doesn't mention once how Tracy kept saying James was the dad, the baby looks like him, and obviously gave permission to the photographer herself since the baby "was James's". Come on, now. Tracy is wrong, and James doesn't seem to know.
WOW...Move on now!! There are too many questions regarding what's going on. Your daughter will be fine. Being friends was fine until too many issues started to come up. Time to move away from James.
I think many people, including OP and the channel host, misunderstood what the photography business said. They said Tracy said James was OP's daughter's father and he said it was okay. The channel host, OP, and commentators believed they said James gave his permission. The way I understood it Tracy said the child was his and James gave his permission _to Tracy._ James wouldn’t have told the company the child was his. As for the idea that OP needs to move on or at least stop letting her child stay alone with James, would you feel the same way if James was female? I seriously doubt it. I’m disgusted by people who feel any male who isn’t a relative shouldn’t be left alone with a child, regardless of how well or long the child’s parents know him. Besides, in this story, the female is the creepy one. As for the commentator defending Tracy; "Is that you, Tracy?”
7:24 Correction: James *is* a babysitter. It has already been stated that James has babysat his nephew 2 separate times. That makes him a babysitter. I assume James is not the biological father of his nephew. Should he also have to be supervised around that child? The only times he has looked after her acc. to the post is short periods during the day, no overnights or weekends (for which people also hire babysitters), combined with the overtly positive relationship he has with the child and her mother, it's extremely unlikely that he would knowingly allow harm to come to the child. It's as if you only read the parts that said "not her bio dad" and thought "ah. pervert. she's better off trusting a female meth user." Men can be nannies, babysitters, and even competent parents without women around now. The idea that they can't is an outdated, but excellent, example of how patriarchy hurts everyone. James is also a long time friend of OP and has played the biggest fatherly role in her child's life. Her daughter will be fine if her relationship with James is severed however, it is totally unnecessary to sever the relationship. It sounds like they were pretty low-contact as it is. It is well documented that children, especially little girls without daddies, need positive male role models so they understand how a good man behaves in the world, and how a good man treats other people, including vulnerable people like children. This will help her know what kinds of red flags to look for in men as an adult. James has been thoroughly vetted by OP over years as a positive male role model. OP clearly stated that she and her daughter visit all her friends on occasion, including James, and has made it a point to keep James a figure in her daughter's life because of their strong bond and the positive impact it has on her daughter. OP made no suggestion that she would sever the relationship between James and her daughter if OP began to date another man. These visits with OP and James are not dates, nothing inappropriate is going on, so there's no reason to end them if she meets someone, and you alleging that men and women can't have platonic relationships is an old-school and low-key predatory way to see the world. To men, women should be people, not simply potential sex toys, as long as another man isn't using her. James had already managed to establish a "fun uncle" status, and even if he hadn't, there's no reason a child can't have more than one father figure. The relationship between James and both ladies is positive and not inappropriate, thus there would be no reason to end it except for Tracy: a shining example of why we trust mother's intuition over strangers on the internet. Tracy spending time with James and OP's daughter seems like it could be an unhealthy substitute for Tracy that I fear could worsen her mental health, potentially (given enough ill-advised exposure) to the point that it would be an unsafe situation for the child eventually if Tracy does not get help. I really hope she talks to someone because it sounds like, with a little therapy, she would be an ideal adoptive mother someday. If desire to play house with strangers' kids, adoption is how you do it legally. (joking, adoptive parents are real parents, not playing house) Fortunately, I don't think OP is going to see Tracy anytime soon given her even lower contact with James, which will hopefully allow Tracy to heal to a point where James and OP and jr can visit comfortably again.
God forbid parents teach their kids that all feelings are normal and how to safely and properly cope with the emotions. Let’s just rug sweep and never communicate
Im side eyeing that comment that was blaming op for the situation. Op had a right to be pissy about the situation
Everyone should know that you don’t post pictures of other people’s children online without their permission.
Right? It’s op’s child for gods sake.
The person who wrote that ridiculous comment obviously has no kids or is an uncle/aunty to a child smh. When it comes to the safety of your child(ren) there is no limit to your level of suspicions of others
@@JMac7395 Hey don't blame that on uncles/aunts. I was side-eyeing the comment too, and I've been an aunt since I was 12.
There's always that one airhead who disagrees with common sense.
The commenter defending Tracy is wild.
Yeah what a bizarre take.
Yeah. It had to have been written by someone who has done stuff similar to Tracy, so they were defending her as a way to also defend their own views.
Story 1: Not a mom, but I’m genuinely surprised at the amount of people who didn’t find Tracy’s actions unsettling. The boundary stomping could’ve potentially lead to an obsession or kidnapping. I truly hope Tracy calls one of those numbers because she seriously needs help and support. (SERIOUSLY still side-eying that second commenter.)
Yea, LG usually reads the top three comments, and I’m shocked the second comment was on there.
That’s what I was thinking as well
AGREE!!! Insanity!
I completely agree with you...
For her own sake, as well as for her partner's sake, Tracy seriously needs to get some help in order to properly deal with the news of her infertility....
A mother's spidey sense will always be correct when something is off regarding the safety of their child. Many tried to give tracy the benefit of the doubt or said OP was villianizing her but man...that update was something. I would have immediately noped out but I guess good on OP for calmly listening to Tracy and even helping her look up mental health options.
Tell that to my mom. Her Spidey senses let a child beating predator around me as a child.
@@puppetmasterey ah damn, I hope you’re in a better place now
@@Kalossupremacy3356 everyone's in a better place. I'm living a good life, Mom's in miserable and Dad's in the forever box
@puppetmasterey my cousin was sa’d 3 years as a young child by her uncle and her mom barely believed her. She’s grown now and I was furious when I found out.🫤 I’m sorry that happened to you. How can people let this stuff happen?!
@@sonialinsey8083 easily, in my case it was "you need a male role model in your life".
Good for the op for nipping that crap in the bud. That could have escalated horribly.
None of what Tracy did was for the benefit of the daughter. It was all about using the kid as a prop to help make herself feel better.
It could have escalated to "OP, your daughter can go on a holiday with us, she'll love it but you can't come.". A kidnapping in the making.
💯👍🏿
I was a bit shocked at the reasoning the new girlfriend had for all she did, I would've been weirded if I was the little girl's mom.
Me too, this lady found out she probably couldn't have children of her own so she tried to fabricate a whole life with someone else's daughter.
I don't even know the kid, and I'm weirded tf out.
As I was reading story 1 my first thought was that it was too convenient that a professional photographer friend just "happened" to be in the park, that Tracy knew him and that the bf ok'd the photos. Most professionals require a signed release form to post photos of other people on their wed site, so there is even more to the story than Tracy is admitting to.
In any event, it is over now and Op needs to just go completely NC with the both of them.
Okay James isn't even the bio dad, just defacto dad/fun uncle....That's nice, but he's letting his new girlfriend boundary stomp on repeat. I'm sure it's a mean thing to do, but if he's picking getting laid over this kids wellbeing, OP can literally put a stop to it immediatly. He has zero rights
Update: Good on Tracy for at least fessing up and maybe seeking help...but now I'm side-eying the commentors who insisted it was all OPs imagination
Reddit is like box of chocolates hon. All type of weirdos there, including bitter crazy trolls 😅 not all decisions are written by sain ppl
@@martil.9058at this point you just grab your popcorn and watch the dumpster fire
@@martil.9058totally agreed. These kinds of people spew so much cognitive dissonance and disconnection from reality, it's mind boggling if these people aren't disowned from friends and family.
@@martil.9058nice analogy
I definitely felt I'd picked out some of the crazy chocolates.
Last story, I don't think bosses realise that they're also being interviewed 😏
Another story where I feel like I'm taking crazy pills with people bending over backwards to criminalize the OP. Also people need to stop demonizing being friends with members of the opposite humanity, even exs. My parents got along better as friends after they split and their subsequent partners RESPECTED that. Even if it's not a bio connection James was that girl's dad for a short time and people also need to respect those kinds of bonds, he's OP's friend and he adores the daughter. And they really need to stop putting it on OP being "creepy" instead of the new GF who is exhibiting some of the concerning early signs we see in the true crime docus where kids end up kidnapped.
Edit: nailed it, the new GF was psycho
My ex is an executive at a large company. My late husband was a RN. They got along great & my ex even gave gave my & my late husband's daughter nice gifts when he bought gifts for our daughter. He also asked if our daughter could go to Mexico with them for the grad trip of my oldest (the daughter I share with the ex) but it was only a year after my late husband, her father, died in a car accident so she didn't want to go. It had nothing to do with my ex as she thinks he's great but having just lost one of her parents a year prior, she just wasn't ready to be away from me for that long yet.
My ex & my late husband both showed up for my oldest. Everyone got along. Her step-mom is fantastic & didn't ever boundary stomp. My ex immediately backed me up anytime my daughter tried playing us against each other so she stopped trying that when she was 6. If he had questions or a different perspective, he'd call me back after she went to bed so we could discuss further but in front of her, we were always a united front. It's nice when everyone can be adults.
I can't put my finger on it but something really seems ....OFF, with that update. Almost like it wasn't the same person writing it who wrote the original story.
I would have thought that any half reasonable professional photographer would require a signed consent form to place images online of ANYONE who is a subject in their photographs, let alone a child. This could have gone so badly for the photographer if OP decided to take legal action
Not a parent but I could see there was something weird going on with Tracy from a mile away. No idea what is going on with reddit that they decided to villianize the OP the way they did. Might just be because they’re all high schoolers.
Yes, anyone who is a parent would be concerned at Tracy's behaviour!
6:10 OP has the photographer saying he was told he got permission from James, and James saying he didn't, SCREENSHOT BOTH AND CROSS-SEND THEM! Let everyone know that someone is lying! No, OP is going to confront Tracy. Fat load of good it's going to do?
Yes! Always show proof about liars especially when it involves your kids safety. Calling out their bs with proof is the best way. That way they can't gaslight.
Definitely shows that the gf is a liar, a manipulator & an opportunist. James is in for a rollercoaster ride with her. I'm surprised OP didn't warn James about her behavior, not that he'd actually listen or take it seriously smh
Okay, after that update OP needs to make sure Tracy is never around her child again.
Halfway through the story I knew that the new girlfriend was not as innocent as people seem to think she was. Her insistence that that was James's daughter besides many times being told that it wasn't told me something was off with her, but hey people judge away.
Yeah, that immediately pinged alarms. If someone can't accept a fact and keeps bringing up their version, it's a huge red flag.
I called it!!! I knew the photography session was pre planned.
Nah, Tracy is stomping on your boundaries. She needs to be told off. That commenter trying to defend Tracy is an idiot.
After update: at the very least, tell your ex in warn him that Tracy is insane! If Tracy can act like this around a child that's not even related to him, how is she going to act around his nephew?
That second comment on the first story really pissed me off. It turns out OP was correct in her assumptions, and for someone to vilify her like that is just gross. I commend her for having that talk with Tracy and suggesting she talk to a professional. I really do hope Tracy gets the help she needs.
That 2nd comment is probably someone like Tracy, op didn't hate Tracy. She was worried about her daughter.
That mood booster was fantastic. I love smug jerks getting proven wrong.
There's nothing wrong with James still being in the daughter's life. Maybe it's because I have a large extended family with "aunties" and "uncles" and play-cousins, but I don't like the insinuation that there's something INHERENTLY wrong with men emotionally bonding with kids that aren't theirs. As long as the parents know them and trust them to be a safe person, it's fine. That said, the fact that this dude is ignoring OP's concerns is a problem, and is reason enough to cut contact between him and her child.
Also, the commentor who said that OP has no reason to be upset with Tracy is buggin'. She allowed a picture of OP's child up when OP didn't give permission. Tracy either needs to get over whatever insecurity is pushing her to act this way, talk to James about his continued friendship with OP and her child, or she needs to leave. Those are Tracy's options.
Right? It's always no problem when it's a woman bounding with the kid. Being a single mom is hard enough already. James is a friend and support. No reason to cut him out imo
lmao I would have loved to witness that mood booster story.
That aside, ngl I very much prefer malicious compliance/petty revenge mood booster stories more than the “i have a crush but i don’t know how to tell them” ones.
And the funny TIFU posts (the sugar-free gummy bears posts always has me crying😂).
Tracy isn’t only delusional, but as a mother myself, I’d be keeping my child so far away from her, she’d never see us out in the light of day. She is scary.
That momma bear intuition is something else 😂 I’m glad she followed her gut
Not a parent but I find so many people that only went in on OP to be odd. The situation was so weird it would give even a grandparent, aunt or uncle the ick. It could have easily been a situation of a woman looking to commit kidnap or worse. Remember, this is a FOUR YEAR OLD. Being alert for creeps (regardless of gender or reasoning) is absolutely necessary.
That update was delightfully mature with good communication and OP taking sound advice from the community. I always like seeing proper steps taken to deal with the situation. I hope therapy helps Tracey deal with her infertility and she makes peace with it
Lost genre is really apart of my morning routine!!! I wake up brush my teeth and get ready while listening!!! A great way to start the day!
Great to know my videos contribute to the your start of the day! :)
Good update. But I hope the OP eventually does another. I’m hoping Tracey gets help & that the OP & their daughter continue to do well.
STORY 1: it's weird how James pretended not to be aware of his gf's odd behavior. What's worse, he never took the initiative to speak with OP about his gf's obsession with calling him the "daddy". If OP hadn't put her foot down, he would've allowed the odd behavior to continue until it escalated.
STORY 2: PSA: Many people have handicaps that aren't physically visible. Example: hearing impairment/deaf, arthritis, mental disabilities, emotional disabilities, osteoporosis, multiple sclerosis etc. People like that supervisor don't have the right to police or chastise people for not having the stereotypical handicap that they want to see. Most people like that supervisor don't have a handicap themselves or know anyone with a handicap. Yet, they feel they have the authority to dictate to others whats considered a handicap smh
Where are you getting that he knew
@gordybrown3667 OP states that James mentioned he had a conversation with the gf about her referring to him as the child's dad. So he knew she was being weird
It should have been clear to anyone reading that story that there was something very off with Tracy, no matter what the reason was. OP told her that her daughter was not James's kid, but Tracy refused to believe it, and kept saying she was his daughter. She wouldn't let it go. This really should have been everyone's first clue something wasn't right here. Amazing how many people chose to just ignore such a big red flag.
"He's not a baby sitter" BRO anyone who baysits is a babysitter, and he's a free baby sitter who loves her kid. I wish you could see relationships more maturely because you seem to think that exes HAVE to stop talking even if they were friends before.
Agreed
post-relationship friendship can be healthy, particularly for children. tracy is the crux of the problem. children do not do well when loved ones disappear from their lives.
Wouldn’t it make a more resilient child if you teach them how to handle negative emotions instead of placating them with a half assed “dad” relationship that puts daughter in contact with someone who is delusional and willing to lie in order to get their way with your kid? (Sorry Tracy but she is acting pretty unhinged and needs to talk to someone.) and if he chooses to still be with Tracey then op needs to dip out and protect her kid. She sounds like one trigger away from talking that kid on vacation and bolting with it.
no placating in this story@@Poopiepies
Uh oh, Tracey's crazy is showing.
I'm glad this was something Tracy talked to OP about and that OP showed compassion/encouraged her to get therapy. It might be a kind of atypical situation for everyone involved but it sound like the adults tried to sort it out by just talking to each other as decent people in the end.
To me, Tracy's responses seemed sort of sad and I felt some pity for her. BUT I would also make sure that she wasn't alone with my child again. After hearing the reason for Tracy's behavior, I was happy that OP encouraged her to seek help from James and professionals. But, unless my daughter requested it, she wouldn't see James. Even then, I'd probably try distracting her with something else fun. Like LG said, time to move on.
The mood booster was pure fun! Thank you for finding and reading all these stories for us!
it is unfair to tell OP who she can't leave her child with a friend of hers if she trusts him or the fact that they dated and are now friends again is not your or any persons business
15:19 whatever her problems are it doesn't justify her lieing and upsetting you through your daughter
The thing that's the weirdest to me is how James went from defacto dad back cool Uncle.
Tyvm LG stay safe please, peace.
How did Tracy know that she would be call away,from the park, so by having a Photographer also in the park.
She had a photographer on speed dial for any and all eventualities.
Tracy told the photographer that james was the father and it's ok to put up the pictures. The photographer should know better. You have to get permission from the parent, not anyone else. That can get you in legal hot water.
So, OP was absolutely correct and Tracy needs to get help. Yikes.
If she's "just trying to support the relationship", why TF she keep acting like he's the bio dad despite being told Repeatedly it isn't so? Is she stupid? Or just being an ass? I hate when the commentors just add their own spin on the story, complete with ignoring stated facts and adding inprobable motives. Wtf. I HATE that comment.
After update...I see, chick is in grief/meltdown mode. Still no pass for her, but I get it. I'm glad she confessed & hope she gets that therapy. I got No problems with not cutting James out completely. I think it's not a necessary thing to do, unless other factors arise. Even tho it was a bad break up, I made up with a couple exes, becoming friends. One of those ended up being a large part of my kid's childhood, the only negative consequence being that it tore us Both up when said friend died at 35. But that could happen to anyone. We consider his mother my kid's Extra grandmother to this day. The other Ex I refriended? My now husband & I ran a D&D game as Dude's Bachelor party. Some people can be this way. Friends with an Ex and not wanting to eff them. And them getting along with your current. It Can happen if everyone is semi-mature about it (I will forever hesitate to call myself "mature", lol, I know I can be pretty juvenile about silly things, but also I know when to change modes for serious matters.🤷♀️😅)
People in the situation understand far more than Redditors who have only a few paragraphs of info. OP should have trusted her spider senses.
I can't have kids, but I have NEVER tried to use other people's kids as substitutes, that is not ok, and Tracey needs major help before she kidnaps a pregnant woman and cuts the baby out of her. There are other options! My husband and I are going to foster-to-adopt. I just really hope she gets help.
Story 1 (before update): James new girlfriend is crazy, and as long as he is with her, he is not a safe person for your child to be around. Time to cut the cord.
Story 1 (update): Confirmed Tracy is crazy, it is not safe for her to be around your child, if you continued to allow her contact a kidnapping would be inevitable.
Thank you LG👍
😊❤ Thank you for the stories.
Story 1: Two real concerns when starting a relationship with a new partner when you have a child; the new partner wants to get rid of the kid and views them as competition or they want to become instant Mum or Dad. Insist on "Auntie Tracy", and confirm that James isn't the bio-dad, It's "Uncle James". The strong father-daughter bond comment is weird, is Tracey the kind of woman who'd expect a reliable guy to be a dad to another man's baby even if she cheats? Don't take pictures of someone else's kid without their consent. That's a potential kidnapper. Protect your daughter OP. Contact the photographer and get their perspective and ask them to take down the photos of your daughter. There's also the issue of what happens when James is planning his own family or the OP starts a relationship with a new guy?
Update: So Tracy is infertile and can't stand another woman being a mum around her and her new man. She set up the photo shoot🤮 Tracy is desperate and dumb. Tracy will always be Aunite if even that to the daughter, she will never be Mum. Oh and bad communication with James, Tracy shouldn't be a mum, she's immature and selfish.
Children are not a prop for your vanity, unless you're very uncaring. Why is it that when you hear about someone just coincidentally happening to be where one of the protagonists is, it turns out that was a lie and the "someone" stopped by because one of the protagonists asked them to come? The setup about a professional photographer who "just happened" to be nearby, and who "just happened" to want photos for their online portfolio during the short time that OP had to briefly leave her child sounded utterly phony.
Assuming that Tracy and James actually stay together, they can have children either by adoption, or by finding a surrogate mother to give James a biological child who she could raise, if she and James choose that. And has James yet proposed to this woman who turns out to be a manipulative liar as far as children are concerned? The whole dilemma of finding out that you're infertile still leaves numerous possible options that don't involve lying to yourself and others!
Tracy may be grieving over her infertility, but it's not unheard of for women and men who get that diagnosis to go on to conceive one or more children. Doctors can't predict everything, so Tracy may have given up too soon. Unless she was born with no ovaries, like Jamie Leigh Curtis, she has eggs that could be fertilized in vitro and then she could carry that embryo, or another woman could.
Tracy deceived both James and OP to try to heal her own sadness, but instead she got exposed as a liar. She'll be lucky if her relationship with James continues once he figures out that she lied to him and to a young child's mother to put unauthorized photos of a vulnerable 4-year-old online without permission while insisting that the child was James' daughter, when she knew full well that she wasn't!
Great channel, thanks for what you do.
That second comment on the first story pre-update sure sounds like Tracy pretending to not be Tracy
Story 1: Tracy needs therapy.
James has been in her life 3 years out of the 4 she has been alive. He is more of a parent than anyone is giving him credit for. Yeah hes not bio dad but he bonded with her and she with him. Yes Tracey needs to stop saying g he is "daddy" but a little family portrait isnt a big deal. Posting them online without moms consent is definitely a no no I just think OP is using James as a parent still without the benefits of being the parent. If that makes sense
It’s not just the photos. It’s the fact she lied to the photographer, published a photo of someone else’s kid without consent on a website (illegal as fuck). Who will she lie to next? Before you know it, this woman would take the kid on a trip to Disney and disappear.
Tracy has stepped over so many boundaries
The Tracy defense comment is detached from reality, my God. Dollars to donuts it was Tracy writing that lol
Oh for Pete’s sake - ignore that second comment. What is that person smoking? OP is not trying to “hate” Tracy nor does she have an unreasonable grudge. She is just doing what’s in the best interest of her child. If OP had gone ballistic after the first incident, yes I would have agreed she was out of line. But she’s simply trying to set boundaries as respects James’ relationship with her daughter and that’s what a good mother does. You may disagree or feel you’d do it differently, fine, but it’s not hating Tracy. If James and Tracy don’t agree with your boundaries, they can bow out of your daughters life.
I don’t agree 100% with the narrators take on this but since he’s usually spot on with everything so far, it’s mild enough that I’ll let it go. If possible it would be nice to allow James to continue to see your daughter when he wants to for her sake. Kids do bounce back but sometimes these things leave emotional wounds and at her young age it would be nice to avoid abruptly removing the only male figure she’s ever known. Sitting down formally with James and Tracy might be an idea, to discuss everything and for you to set the boundaries you want in place. If they aren’t willing to agree with you, then there’s your signal to break things off. Just a thought.
Love your podcasts 😊
Another brilliant video!
Ahaha I knew she planned the photographer, wonder how stupid the tracy defenders felt after the update?
Time to cut ties OP… she is nuts… it was the reason I suspected… anyone who didn’t is blind frankly
Glad to c ur numbers up 🥰
Honestly i was not even surprised
At four years old, OP's if the daughter stops seeing James and there are no reminders (pictures, references in conversation, pointing out that James gave her that toy, etc.) by the time she is 10 she won't even remember him. Personally, I think this situation is not tenable in the long run. I think OP is going to move on with someone else, and that person is probably not going to be comfortable with James still being in the picture, especially since James isn't related to the daughter. By that time the daughter will be older and it will be much harder on her.
Bet tracy is not "nothing but good" to OP. The photographer and James didn't have a reason to lie. The boundary stomper does.
OMG!! This is the first time I see that OP is right, and that she should have trusted her instincts, and not the reddit commenters!
S1: and that's why you don't put boyfriends and girlfriends into parental roles--which, despite OP's denials, is what happened. The exes, and their friends, and their friends of friends are in and out of the revolving door of the child's life. No abuse has happened, and OP did the right thing, but children don't always "bounce back".
I had to pause less than a minute in because the math is not making sense. So they dated for 3 years, and broke up 2 years ago, meaning they started dating 5 years ago. But op said “Since my daughter is obviously older than 3, it’s clear that she is not biologically James’ daughter.” The child is 4 and you started dating 5 years ago, how is it “clear” to everyone that she is not biologically his?
Edit: grammar
OK, maybe I’m not losing my mind-at least, not because I’ve been straining to make the math work! 😵💫
I learned long ago to not let most of the inconsistencies in a story bother me. The writers are by no means professional and I doubt they even reread their work before posting it. And it is often confusing as hell to suss out SIL, brother's wife, husband's brother's wife, etc. I am someone who reflexively checks ages and the differences between ages, so if I take these stories to be vetted before publishing I would lose my mind trying to figure out how those numbers add up.
That was confusing me too. And right after that OP says that her daughter was 1 when they started dating. 1 year old+dating 5 years ago=6 year old daughter.
Depending of where you live asking for consent for pictures in public places is a curtesy. Not saying that what the gf did is right. Also taking pictures of strangers IS a bit creepy specially if they are children. Just because it’s legal it doesn’t automatically make it moral.
Story 1: It might hurt the daughter a bit upfront, but it's probably best to cut all contact with James so long as he's with Tracy. She has crossed so many boundaries and I would've noped out of there.
Always trust the mama instincts. Tracy was a creep with someone else’s child
I'm not finished with the story yet, and obviously the new girlfriend is crazy, but op shouldn't have let her daughter get so attached to a man that she wasn't serious enough about to move in with.
Sad I had to scroll down this far to see this. It’s almost like if you had children in healthy, committed relationships this wouldn’t happen.
Yeah, if she's only seeing him once every 6 weeks already, you've already (inadvertently) done the incremental distancing. No more increments are required.
Sounds like she'll miss the nephew more than the man himself... but she'll get over that too. "Out of sight, out of mind" applies even more for small children, especially when it comes to all of those interchangeable tall people hovering above them.
Story 1: the only thing I disagree with in Lost Genre’s commentary is that Tracy won’t necessarily be able to adopt until she gets a LOT of counseling and exhibits a healthy, stable mindset and behavior.
Adding onto this, adopting is not meant to be a fix to someone who can't have children, or conceive with their partner naturally. A child is something to be cared for,loved unconditionally and guided well enough to be raised into a responsible adult.
Story 2: I would have 100% called the HR department after leaving that interview and reported exactly how their "management" handled it. WTF?
Wait. JAMES gave permission for the photographer to use pics of his nephew? NOT HIS KID.
Omg I'm so frickin irritated with everyone blaming OP and acting like Tracy isn't outta pocket!! I DOUBT that photo shoot was a happenstance and it is BS that they are acting like James is only letting them come around cause he wants to he a "good guy". This is BS. James was a father figure and people are like "welp you two aren't screwing so rip them from her life!"
Again Reddit attacking the OP & blaming her for shit that isn't her fault? "You are a stressful presence in their relationship." Ummm I'm sorry, who keeps inviting OP & her daughter over when James had his nephew around? Oh, that's right, JAMES! "Tracy is trying her best to support YOUR DAUGHTER'S happiness" WHAT?! Where in that post is Tracy "supporting" the girl?
Also according to the post James never gave any consent to the photos. AND his nephew ISN'T HIS KID!! So the photographer would need James brother or sisters consent.
I swear Reddit LOVES to spin their own narratives & self insert 🙄🙄
After Update: Sooo this woman has issues & keeps making shit up for her own gain?! Nah girl, seek some therapy. Also... did she apologize?! From the post it sounded like she didn't, so I'd still be very cautious around her with the daughter.
I'm here every day, not a lot to say, but here's a comment for engagement 😊
I feel a lot of people (including you, LG) are underestimating the importance of a father figure at early stages of child development and automatically assigning 'creep factor' simply because they are not blood related. It's a bad faith argument and a disservice to the man who has taken on a fatherly role despite a lack of actual relationship. If he just disappears now it could cause abandonment issues later in life
Exactly, and it's extremely sad seeing as LG is a father himself. Do you think your kids won't have problems if you outrught abandoned them? Look at the stories LG himself talks about whwre the OP had a father abandon them and they have many issues.
I feel like with all the talk around mothers people forget that fathers play just as big a role. People probably forget the father's play a huge role in children's life just because they weren't the ones to give birth to them.
@@sorantohell5096 As it is they only see James about once every six weeks, so there is already a distant relationship. The little girl is not feeling abandoned, and Op never tells us anything about her family life. She may have a father and brothers who are involved with the little girl.
Thank you for saying this!!! Father figures are soooo important for children. Heck where I'm from we have organizations that foster this for children.
oh look Tracy has made a comment
Commenter was right: OP is hellbent on making Tracy a villain. Down tiger! And the update is a total falsehood Lol
To that one comment...no the photographer didn't get the kids mixed up as neither kis was his. He can't give consent for his nephew either.
I unsubscribed from UA-cam premium but I love your channel. Do you have Spotify or another place I can go to watch/listen to your videos?
Hi! yes, you can see my podcast link in all my video descriptions :)
While kids are resilient trauma in childhood lasts intonadulthood
If I were OP. The LAST thing I’d be doing, is helping Tracy look for a therapist! I’d be _______ that _____ up; for doing something so mentally deficient and gross! 😡
In regards to the photographer, threaten a lawsuit if they refuse to remove the pictures. Really OP is allowing her to be used as a side piece by James when his relationships down work out. Okay that discussion OP had with Tracy just made more red flags. OP should warn the parents of James nephew for his protection as this GF has issues. That woman could attempt to steal someone else's child.
Watch your darn kid. Keep that woman away
That commenter supporting Tracy so hard must be Tracy herself. Tell James what she said.
i'm so confused about the over woman's explanation lol. Her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's child, who he has no biological relationship to and only now has a corial family friend relationship is the closest she'll ever get to a biological child of her own??
Going to have to disagree with LG on this one. A child and a man who is not her father can have an unbreakable bond for life and no one should get in the way of that just because “people move on and the kid should too”. If this had happened for me, I wouldn’t have had the world’s best father figure. My bio dad had no interest in me. My mom’s ex did. He loved me like his own. I can’t count the times that he’s been there for me, and I for him. We couldn’t love each other more if we were blood related. He’s at the head of my family at every event, he is so precious to us. My kids are so attached to him, and they didn’t get close to my husband’s father because he didn’t welcome it. So I wouldn’t have had a dad, and my kids wouldn’t have had a grandfather. There are a million precious memories and moments that we all would have missed all these years. Even to this day-my daughter is in University and she’s living at home while she attends-but my chosen father will call her on the phone from his city and she’ll come thumping down the stairs and run out the door so that they can watch the space station go overhead together from their respective cities. They’ve been doing this since she was little. I bought them a telescope so they could look at the night sky together. Love is love, and it’s not ok to snuff it out for selfish reasons. Not because it’s more convenient for you to do so. This man and my mother divorced when I was six years old. I am now in my forties and he’s still a constant presence in my life. He calls my kids and sees them regularly. If he needs some help on something he calls my son and my son goes over there. Yes it’s easier and cleaner for the parents to break and never see each other again, but that’s selfish when the kid has a bond with the non bio partner and that partner cares deeply about that kid. And yes, I was there through both of them dating other people. It can get awkward-but at least I didn’t get my heart broken by losing someone that I lived very much and who it was clear that he loved me too.
I forgot why I don't listen to this channel anymore now I remember.
I hope Tracy gets some mental help, I can't imagine her medical news was easy on her. I can't tell if her being honest w OP is a sign she knows she needs/ wants help or if it's just a continuation of her delulu-ness. either way, OP needs to distance herself!
There is 2 problems:
1- the fact OP still hanging with James, and not in a bad way but since he has a relationship i think it should be more a once in a time thing if need it since they still friends.
2- the fact Tracy went like this despite OP keep repeating the fact James isn't the father. The comment 2 sounds like "that ex" or "that ex's gf, since it twist the fact James never give permission to any of the photos and how convenient that friend was there all the time. Isn't that sus? While i agree OP is taking James to much into consideration and for a "she will feel sad" situation than her daughter's safety around Tracy.
That last comment supporting Tracy doesn't mention once how Tracy kept saying James was the dad, the baby looks like him, and obviously gave permission to the photographer herself since the baby "was James's". Come on, now. Tracy is wrong, and James doesn't seem to know.
WOW...Move on now!! There are too many questions regarding what's going on. Your daughter will be fine. Being friends was fine until too many issues started to come up. Time to move away from James.
I think many people, including OP and the channel host, misunderstood what the photography business said. They said Tracy said James was OP's daughter's father and he said it was okay. The channel host, OP, and commentators believed they said James gave his permission. The way I understood it Tracy said the child was his and James gave his permission _to Tracy._ James wouldn’t have told the company the child was his.
As for the idea that OP needs to move on or at least stop letting her child stay alone with James, would you feel the same way if James was female? I seriously doubt it. I’m disgusted by people who feel any male who isn’t a relative shouldn’t be left alone with a child, regardless of how well or long the child’s parents know him. Besides, in this story, the female is the creepy one.
As for the commentator defending Tracy; "Is that you, Tracy?”
7:24 Correction: James *is* a babysitter. It has already been stated that James has babysat his nephew 2 separate times. That makes him a babysitter. I assume James is not the biological father of his nephew. Should he also have to be supervised around that child? The only times he has looked after her acc. to the post is short periods during the day, no overnights or weekends (for which people also hire babysitters), combined with the overtly positive relationship he has with the child and her mother, it's extremely unlikely that he would knowingly allow harm to come to the child. It's as if you only read the parts that said "not her bio dad" and thought "ah. pervert. she's better off trusting a female meth user." Men can be nannies, babysitters, and even competent parents without women around now. The idea that they can't is an outdated, but excellent, example of how patriarchy hurts everyone.
James is also a long time friend of OP and has played the biggest fatherly role in her child's life. Her daughter will be fine if her relationship with James is severed however, it is totally unnecessary to sever the relationship. It sounds like they were pretty low-contact as it is. It is well documented that children, especially little girls without daddies, need positive male role models so they understand how a good man behaves in the world, and how a good man treats other people, including vulnerable people like children. This will help her know what kinds of red flags to look for in men as an adult. James has been thoroughly vetted by OP over years as a positive male role model.
OP clearly stated that she and her daughter visit all her friends on occasion, including James, and has made it a point to keep James a figure in her daughter's life because of their strong bond and the positive impact it has on her daughter. OP made no suggestion that she would sever the relationship between James and her daughter if OP began to date another man. These visits with OP and James are not dates, nothing inappropriate is going on, so there's no reason to end them if she meets someone, and you alleging that men and women can't have platonic relationships is an old-school and low-key predatory way to see the world. To men, women should be people, not simply potential sex toys, as long as another man isn't using her.
James had already managed to establish a "fun uncle" status, and even if he hadn't, there's no reason a child can't have more than one father figure. The relationship between James and both ladies is positive and not inappropriate, thus there would be no reason to end it except for Tracy: a shining example of why we trust mother's intuition over strangers on the internet. Tracy spending time with James and OP's daughter seems like it could be an unhealthy substitute for Tracy that I fear could worsen her mental health, potentially (given enough ill-advised exposure) to the point that it would be an unsafe situation for the child eventually if Tracy does not get help. I really hope she talks to someone because it sounds like, with a little therapy, she would be an ideal adoptive mother someday. If desire to play house with strangers' kids, adoption is how you do it legally. (joking, adoptive parents are real parents, not playing house) Fortunately, I don't think OP is going to see Tracy anytime soon given her even lower contact with James, which will hopefully allow Tracy to heal to a point where James and OP and jr can visit comfortably again.
Keep ur kid away. She is not safe!
Was 2nd comment written by Tracy? Strange take.
So OP was more concerned with her child potentially 'being sad' or 'confused' regarding cutting ties with James and thus Tracy than her kid's safety?
God forbid parents teach their kids that all feelings are normal and how to safely and properly cope with the emotions. Let’s just rug sweep and never communicate