Man not taking ownership is like a time bomb. It builds up regret over time and it will explode into your face. At least for me. I wanted my dreams to be other people's dreams as well. I wanted my obsessions to be other people's obsessions for me to start going after them. I didn't owned my obsessions and dreams
Invite me to your show ,i would love to share my story with millions of people and your people ,it's my dream to come to your show and share my story. I 💕💕
Tom, this talk made me think about the book Ishmael when she spoke about us being animals. I hope you read that book if not I'd be happy to send you a copy. I'm grateful for this show I love it
Dr. Shefali, “it’s not about one man, it’s about the patriarchal system.” Tom, “I don’t agree with that. My wife was subconsciously taught to be a housewife” …
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed and he was dismissive of her. I'm sure he thinks of himself as enlightened towards women. That is the problem. Most men are so entitled they are blind to the subtle misogyny.
Mental illnesses are influenced by nutrition, but their real cause is what she says : deep disconnection from our real self, which origins in trauma, as Gabor Maté explains so masterfully!
try explaining this modern woman.. they say its men.. they say its the patriachy ..ect.. i met so many woman who wanted a LTR but never opened up themsel but still crying and pointing to others.. you see that almost everywhere. men on the otherhand dont wining about that.. they winning because they dont beeing accepted. they also try disconnected with drugs or alkh.. because the woman's/mothers around them wont open up to them and accept them for humans.
I can see this beautiful soul is still in her journey, still solving inner conflicts and contradictions that come from life experiences, unique for all of us but so much alike. She tells you what to do based on her experiences and maybe she is not even living all of what she says, don’t stress yourself on radically choosing a way or the other, remember to be a student not a follower. Listen to what serves you and decide/continue your own journey. Don’t get stuck in this, you do not need it, listen to your own inner voice, keep growing, keep searching. And do not forget that as much as all these information serves us, and I truly appreciate it, some people make a lot of money out of this. And we might think they are so smart, they are awake, believe me they have their struggles and contradictions. Believe in you, go on your own journey, make your own conclusions, decide how you see life and if you see it differently know that it is ok.
Dr. Shefali speaks so much wisdom. She is at a higher level of consciousness, because she has found love for herself, in the most healthy sense, and is speaking truth. It's hard to comprehend that level of knowledge and peace if you are not there.
I really recommend her book... finished it yesterday it's really revealing you THE TRUTH. This woman is a force of nature... love her. Thank you Dr Shefali for reminding me what I already knew in my gut ❤❤❤
So she's suggesting you should dismantle your family unit to start a polyamorous relationship? Her discourse seems to be purely self-centered narcissism.
I'm in love with this woman! Finally someone that has eyes wide open and sees the world as it is! So humbling listening to her. And not to mention she is gorgeous!
Nice to see a woman on Impact Theory. Very scarce experience in general. That's not a critique to the program but just the reflection of the culture we are living in. You can agree or disagree with their viewpoints but it's good to have these topics being discussed. Great!!!
Andres already mentioned it , but Women of Impact is a whole Universe to itself.....and it’s a piece of the IMPACT THEORY world. Yes there are fewer women on This channel, but it would be more unusual to find Men on the Women of Impact channel. Be blessed 👍🏼💪🏼☺️
@@lesliesimkin831 ummm women of impact is definitely NOT just about relationships and “finding what men want” That is definitely not what Lisa Bilyeu is about. They have amazing, inspiring women entrepreneurs interviewed by Lisa who is just as amazing as her husband
Agree with her 100%. Have travelled to many countries for 35 continuious years, there is no country I have seen where this massive issue does not exist. Tom love your channel...
Beautiful, insightful and incredibly wise words. If humanity thought and held beliefs like Dr Shifali, then the world would be such a beautiful, peaceful and far less toxic place. Great stuff!
So many men in the comments not wanting to agree with the guest, which is not surprising. Calling her crazy and trying to argue back, displaying exactly what she is trying to explain. Take a good hard look at yourself, self reflect on why you feel the way you do, why you are the way you are. Until you really do that, you won't understand how we have been brainwashed since birth and you'll never understand who you are.
I’m violently disturbed about the fact that this episode could have attracted million viewers instead of 108 thousand considering how uplifting and liberating the content is. Thanks Dr Shefali for your wisdom
I lost a little respect for Tom. Not only is he clueless about implications of patriarchy he is so adamant and attached to his perspective, that he failed to learn from her. The fact you feel encouraged to continue to echo your reasoning over hers shows you live in the very patriarchy culture she is talking about. Your meant to interview your guest, get their insights; not keep arguing it. Thank you Doc for being so graceful and intelligent 🙏🏽
Yeah this was the first time I’ve seen Tom be so resistant to what someone on his show was saying. It was icky to watch. He’s already got his set views on this subject and so was resistant to learning; really at odds with seeing how open he is in other interviews when he’s there with the mindset of ‘I’ve got something to learn’.
Just a learning for both. She talks about the facts. Tom was asking what was in his mind. We take what we want to take away. Good to expose to different views. Amazing interview 👏👏👏
@@spk2008 enlighten us all....what specifically was, as you put it , crap....your wisdom should be publicly demonstrated. and please, show us your understanding of this by giving examples more than just a broad statement like, "all of it"....come on now, it's your chance to prove how smart YOU are. 😮
@PaulRediscovered She seems to be promoting marxian ideas that have been thoroughly debunked, like the idea of awakening to some kind of "true" consciousness while being vague and speaking in meaningless platitudes.
Dr Shefali does not follow what people think, she should say. Dr Shefali deconstructs with honesty, authenticity. THis is why she is needed in our world... thank you Dr Shefali thank you
Hey Tom, usually I like your content but lately it has become apparent that your being challenged by your guests like Dr. Shefali. In this talk, particularly your naïveté towards the difficulties women face was oddly problematic. The story of your wife choosing to follow her dream and foregoing your laundry and cooking, causing you internal turmoil points to a very patriarchal foundation. My partner has and never would be responsible for my laundry. That’s insane to me. Keep navigating life, brother. Many lessons ahead for us all.
Evidently, turning a blind eye to the fact that she could not handle being challenged in her idealism/feminism, is very easy to do for those who are unable to open their minds to see that there are two perspectives (at a minimum) to every discussion. A discussion should be just that, trying to understand the perspective of the other person, not an attempt at confirmation bias.
Well said dear. I have re watched this interview of Dr. Shefali and the one with Lewis Howes one after the other. The dynamic and understanding is so different. Lewis Howes is the type of man, personality that we all want to be around and in relationship with. So open, understandable, light, and sweet. Otherwise, those Alfa agressive males no one needs them, not even themselves. We are so done with them and their aggression.
What an amazing women! I am so fascinated by her and this conversation, I cant wait to read her book. As a muslim women this conversation was so eye opening and unique i couldn't help with completely agree with her.
The glaring hole in this entire thesis about the "oppressive" nature of existing culture, systems and/or patriarchy is the absence of an honest explanation of why restrictions may exist for certain types of behaviour. Codes, moral codes agreed upon by the greater society in order for a society to coexist in order to build civilization. These codes are created from the observation of behaviours deemed to be destructive or constructive to a society. It is where laws come from. For instance, monogamy is largely accepted as a beneficial attribute in a marriage. Why? Because if it is absent one is likely to subject oneself to a feeling of betrayal, exposure to potential disease and a rather flimsy sense of cohesion with something very important and beneficial to society.... Family. Our societies are far from perfect, however, there are distinct reasons why particular bits of knowledge are passed down from parent to child. Lessons learned.
Marriage was created to secure financial future for kids and women (when she is not able to work ex she has a newborn). Now, we have alimony and DNA test, whereas before that, how would you prove who's child is it..
In addition violent act towards women are progresslive banish by culture and laws (created by society - humanking - man and women). Our biology is something that have to be control by culture - example unwanted sexual acts. Therefore I 100% agree with your comment.
It does not make sense that you take examples as monogamy or talk about a codex that exists for the entire world. It does not. The only tune that all societies play is subjugation in one form or another of women.
Yes there is a huge and willfully blind hole in her thesis. She abstracts out an evil or alien drive in our culture and then denies that it can be based on biological forces. As if the “good” biological function would push us more towards equality. Taking to its extreme, man in its most basic or uncivilized form would move towards (not away) from equality- I can’t imagine this to be the case in primitive cultures. Simply put, she posits the bad part of our culture as alien to humanity and patriarchal and the good part of our culture as biological and more egalitarian. I would posit all parts of our culture good and bad are based on our biology as the human animal.
Awesome interview. Glad you brought her back to the show. Everything she speaks about resonates within me and I love the dynamic Tom brings to the conversation.
I’m so glad he had Dr. Shafali on this show love her books and how she explains the teachings ! I don’t think that tom was expecting his own reaction to a lot of these points and maybe it was a huge eye-opener if he’s self-aware about the patriarchy and how real it is in todays day. Just because he didn’t grow up with that experience doesn’t mean it’s not real. Much love and awesome interview !
*Most people sit around and wait for inspiration, just some rare people get up and get to work.* *I may not know you personally, but I believe in you that you will succeed!* 🙏
Tom is missing a lot of these points and is blocked from hearing and accepting truths that are different from his own... most of his engagement here feels counteractive
See imo it's because she sees everything in a negative light, and he is ultra positive. He still bragged on her throughout the show and gave her ton of credit, but I still believe he has a way better mindset and she is very negative.
Funny how it’s a man approving of Tom’s positivity and thinking the woman is being negative! To women she is just speaking truth. The thing is, Tom is being so respectful to her and obviously learning from her. This is why I love Tom - he is the best interviewer!
Hey Tom. Great talk. I would love to see a discussion with Dr. Warren Farrel, who wrote about The Boy Crisis in which he adresses the problems for men throughout our industrial revolution. Yes, women have been subjected to all kinds of unjustified patriarchal restraints, but men have (and are) suffering from having to be self sacrificial and being disposable human beings.
IMO all any of us can do is love and have empathy for one another. As the doctor said we are culture on a micro and macro level. How we interact with others is exponential. Good or bad.
Exactly. Most men think that they have come so far with misogyny but there is so much subtle sexism and mansplaining is one facet. Also, just being left out of conversation and if you jump in with legitimate knowledge a lot of men will let you know they don't really want your input. I could blather on but women know what I'm talking about.
my god this is whole another level of talks . this is very hard if you want to spread in humans right now , but i will 1st change myself in this and then try to make change in the world.
Dr. Shafali was on 🔥 and made very validated points the whole way through. I really enjoyed this podcast, thanks for this Tom, blessings and light to you both 💕🙏
I think the explanation of patriarchy could use some simplification, as I really appreciate Tom’s legit confusion on what is “patriarchy.” I think it’s easiest to point out that patriarchy is simply a rule of law that was established solely by men & ergo by a viewpoint that is void of a feminine perspective. When women were granted “full citizenship” i.e. full personhood, it’s not like the rule of law was rewritten with a representation of the feminine perspective.
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Hello there, Thanks for Watching and Commenting, the support is appreciated. For further Guidance and tips about Bitcoin and other Cryptocurrencies, feel free to send me a DM on WHATSAPP whenever you can. +1 (989) 502-1439
Hello there, Thanks for Watching and Commenting, the support is appreciated. For further Guidance and tips about Bitcoin and other Cryptocurrencies, feel free to send me a DM on WHATSAPP whenever you can. +1 (989) 502-1439
I really enjoyed listening to this interview with Dr Shefali ! Whilst I don’t agree that people are animals as a believer in God, Dr Shefali shared so many great insights which were further explored in helpful ways through her responses to Tim Bilyeu’s questions. I agree that there is systemic toxic patriarchy within society, & sadly men in leadership have misused their roles to oppress women & even more sadly many in women themselves have supported this oppression in various ways. I’m looking forward to listening to Dr Shefali’s book on ‘A Radical Awakening’ on Audible, to learn more from her insights & thoughts as the book definitely has a lot to offer even if I won’t agree with all of the views within it.
Self-love is self-worth. When you love yourself you find your authentic nature. Then for the first time in your life, you will be comfortable in your skin, knowing that you are perfect in the way you are at your core.
I used to work in partisan politics and I can assure you culture is not unconscious. There is very real money, real time, energy and there are very real people working hard to create cultural movements - sometimes via co-opting or creating a celebrity, sometimes via all eyes on one big story or crime or tragedy of the moments, or via a new trend - to plant and spread specific ideas that they believe will lead to a specific response, and there always has been this type of work going on to varying degrees of success.
Great interview, I agree with another comment that it would have been nicer to hear more from Dr Shefali than Tom but it is also good to see him question something he doesn't agree/understand. With that to and fro, I believe that maybe its his ego popping up and disagreeing that its 'man' that has created patriarchy and has oppressed women and girls and has created this systemic problem. However Dr Shefali did specify that its not any one man's fault just as racism isn't any one white person's fault, but a cultural issue that has resulted because men happened to be at the top of the food chain at beginning of modern civilization because they're bigger/stronger/better. Perhaps this topic is more feminine inclined for him for all its meant to be for anyone who wants to awaken themselves? Jay Shetty's interview with Dr Shefali explains the man's and woman's role in shaping the culture more in depth how it may have been man that started it but actually its women that now continue to do it themselves, food for thought for sure.
I'm 17 minutes in, I agree with everything she say about human nature. How destructive we can be, our primal nature controlling our psychology and our behaviors and how we should pursue awareness and improving our consciousness. .. but lol idk about using Mars as an example for "just because we can doesn't mean we should". We are finite beings and as far as we know, this is the only place in the entire universe where consciousness exists. We need to preserve and expand that as far as we can. It's not a need for dominance , but rather a need for understanding. Also self preservation like she said, but just preservation of humanity in general.
Thanks for your feedback I can link you to something new ! W,,h,,a,,t,,s,,a,,p,,p,,+..1..6..6..1..4..1..8..2..3..6..2...☑ Do:well:to:respond*******❤😊...
I 💯 % agree with Dr Shefali! I’ve felt this way and had questioned myself till now, when I heard all about it, makes more sense and now i can see my confusion in life up till this point. Thank you for this great episode! 💕 sharing this with everyone ✅
“Indigenous wisdom will bring us back home.” When colonization came through, it ruined our food systems… and so many things. I’d like to see more indigenous peoples on the show talking about reclaiming ✊🏾 culture, values… etc
Unfortunately, ageism is real. I remember never thinking I would have to worry about it, but at 57, I feel the difference in how I am treated in the workplace, and if I decide to pursue any other professional opportunities, I am concerned I would not stand a chance against a 20-something fresh-faced competitor. I am actively researching cosmetic surgery right now. I feel I have no choice if I am to survive in the workspace. This is very interesting. I agree and feel the culture is twisted not just regarding how a woman looks, but everything mentioned, including accepting cruelty to animals, cruelty to each other, and really odd values that make us insatiable consumers.
I am a fan of your UA-cam Channel Tom We women live, experience life exactly the same way Dr.Shefali talks about Tom It's more about our own invisible, mental conditioning which we women ourselves are unaware of - for a very long time - until we grow a little older or when our children grow up and somehow our daughters too need to continue the same way as we did - once they enter family life Even if they are professionals on their own with economical independence
Dr Shefali explaining patriarchy and Tom B saying it isn't like that... it's very obvious how a male still is saying what is and isn't the world for a woman and women. Consciousness is certainly the way, but when that happens will be a long time.. this discussion is very important.
I know a woman who was born in the 1920s. As we were watching a female CEO, she declared, "Oh, what does a woman know about business." Nobel winner Jennifer Douda was told by her high school guidance counselor that women do not do science. We are all mad here. We call these cultural implants the patriarchy, from the latin pater meaning father, but it is one bar of the prison of culture.
Lack of community is the true cause of mental illness, this comes from ( me) a Food and Health Educator, meaning the food we eat contributes to mental illness but lack of true connection ( community,) is the biggest issue we are facing. If you go even deeper its our traumas in the past that keep us from coming together, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Humility leads us to find our truth, a collective truth. We can only change consciousness in a better way by finding our authentic nature. Most of us are living unconsciously. The only way to grow is to change our consciousness.
This opened up some interesting and uncomfortable perspectives- and I’m thankful for that! It’s good to feel the wheels turning in our brains. 🤘😜 Thanks for the conversation you two! It gives us a lot to think about. Time to so some self-homework! *scribbles away in a sketchbook*
She has some good insights on culture, but her approach is a black & white application overly emphasizes it's and makes victims of everyone - especially women and children. Yes, AND, of course radical ownership is therefore powerful, necessary and transformative. But culture also includes so much of the good, true and beautiful - which she appears to ignore.
It’s really interesting that you think that, because what I got from this wasn’t black and white at all. I think she fully acknowledges the good, true, and beautiful….but that as humans, our collective ego has become overly inflated. I think she holds those thoughts simultaneously, and that’s why she wrote her book in the first place. I also don’t understand the victimhood, because the entire premise of the interview is radical ownership, with the basis of that being *acceptance.* I would love to understand your perspective, but I can’t really see where it’s coming from.
I did not get that viewpoint ruther it is a view a bigger perspective, bigger picture. The awareness of what is, creates freedom for one to not play the victim role.
I think that a lot of people have trouble taking radical ownership over their priviledge and insulated experience. It's unfortunate that this woman has to fight to get the credibility she deserves, because her perspective makes others uncomfortable. She is the PhD ...
@@KlondikeMIC I agree with you in part, but I disagree in that I think that she's only getting the credibility she deserves based upon the value of the quality of her arguments, which I think are mostly sound, but have some fatal flaws to them. It's understandable and she even speaks to the level of her own cognitive bias and myopia in that she is fighting the things that wounded her and of course so those are the most important to her. However she portrays her own experience of Oppression and challenges as universal, which of course they are not. In that she loses credibility. However again it's totally understandable given her experience. Her next step is to transcend her own experience and thereby actually taking the radical ownership over her own life that she's speaking to. When she does that her perspectives of course will change. Still, we all have to recognize how remarkable and Brilliant a woman she is and that she has fought so hard to overcome so many things and so she has earned deep respect and admiration for that.
I am all for people becoming less sheepish and I am well aware of the need to stand for real change that takes us back to a natural life. That is why I live off grid. However there are MEAN, GREEDY, POWERFUL, and POLITICAL PEOPLE behind all of this. That is what many people are not conscious of. Therein lies the problem being trapped between power and the overwhelming population of the unconscious human.
I’ve noticed that when I highlight what I consider my good features and then say to myself this is as good as it gets and then genuinely go on with my day not obsessed with my appearance I end up getting the most compliments that I look nice. Funny how that works. Really like her point of view!
Yes, im 48 and am sitting in a couch thinking where hv i lost myself. Wht hv i done to myself. I need many more awakening to shed all those garbages i hv gathered all along these yrs. Im done and exhausted, not in anywhere near waking up. I rather want to sleep forever. Oh!! This is too much. It dsnt make any difference if im not there on this earth. It is true there are plenty around me like me, down and dusted expecting an end to it.. Im concerned..
Hey this is a nice talk and all, I learned some new things and recognized a few topix that I already embody. Well to keep this short, no that'll take too long, I'll summer eyes. I was in the army and I do believe it helped me be a better man. I learned how to mop floors and clean bathrooms to say the least. Your left side cargo pocket is for trash until you can get to a proper receptacle to dispose of it. The Army didn't teach me how to do laundry, Learnt that just like my peers but we all had our own way ironing & starching our GD-BDU's. I'll finish with saying not to look at a situation as a problem yet as a potential resolution opportunity. Now stand up straight and go take on the day.
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Amazing Interview! Also, imho, this is not only relevant for women as I am male and my (divorced) mother tried to raise me to be a "good girl" / "good boy" too (maybe because it was all she knew, so I cannot really blame, it's the system). Anyway, that led to the same results: me letting others push me around, abuse me mentally and not protecting my boundaries. Always trying to please others (especially mother's emotional needs), in return becoming so disconnected with my own nature & true self and already having suicidal thoughts at the age of 12. So, without wanting to take any weight from what Dr. Shefali says about the system influencing girls/women, to me it seems like a general problem in society, influencing everyone, no matter which gender you have (possibly influencing females more directly and males more indirectly, e.g. through upbringing by a mother who fell for the system). Need to say though that a lot of people use these external factors, that certainly can vary from one to another in different countries over the world, as excuses (exactly what Dr. Shefali says herself you shouldn't rely on; external factors to fulfill your needs. In this case the need to have someone/something external to blame instead of looking within). So, when she talks about patriarchy, it feels like she is telling to exactly look for what she previously says not to do..and that is victimizing yourself, feels kinda contradictive. We are not responsible for our upbringing, but for what we do with what we have, so where is the practicality in blaming external factors on the road of taking care of your true self?! People, we need to stand up for ourselves, our own values & opinions and protect our boundaries! How else could we possibly get along with each other? Always trying to please and in the back of our mind constantly thinking about what we will get in return (e.g. emotional needs being met, being loved, etc.)? Playing an act of kindness constantly with the secret hope of our needs being fulfilled (although, through that act, we'd never say what we really think and stand for, therefore not even communicating our needs/wants/boundaries so people wouldn't even know them)? Feeling the need to be angry at others, because they don't fulfill our needs although we "give our everything" to them? Having a kind of balance scale in our mind where we put our actions on one side, their actions on the other side and want to create balance? Isn't that kind of trying to manipulate others to do what you want them to and especially self-manipulative too (through the delusion that the scale needs to be balanced)? Shouldn't we want others to have their freedom (not expecting them to meet our needs) and want to have our freedom ourselves? So, we'd respect ourselves, just help others and be kind if we truly can and want to, by own choice & voluntarily and therefore never feel the need to expect anything in return, which leads to us being able to truly appreciate and be grateful if someone acts with kindness towards us (as it's all free choice) and this, in turn, potentially leading to improved relationships in general. Again, just my opinion, this topic concerns every human being who was raised/conditioned to be "good", always giving and trying to please others without taking ownership of and care for their own true self, needs, goals & boundaries. Maybe it really feels worse for females (I am not in that skin), but I personally, wouldn't even differentiate that much on this topic. Still, awesome Interview, Dr. Shefali rocks!! @Tom Bilyeu, in case you read this: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the content you put out! To me, it is immeasurably valuable and I'd bet to a sh!t ton of other people too ❤ Really appreciate the effort you put in, you're amazing man! EDIT: Don't want to tell anyone what to do, that "People, we need to[...]" part is more of a self-preach 😂
I agree with DR. Shefali when comes to the man is always in control. My dad made the rules, he paid the bills, made babies, beat the shit out of us. My mom took care of everything inside the house including my 6 siblings 25/7. The mental thing has so much to do with how women were (are)treated; my mother was afraid of my father to step in and protect us from his abuse. We grew up tucked up because of this. I still see women doing everything for their men here in the states, I don't like it. If men would step in and help their wives with their kids, and stop the cycle of abuse, there wouldn't be so much crime. Women need to be in control of their own lives as well as the men. No one owns no one!! When I was stationed in Europe, sex was freely talked about. Nude beaches and nude posters of females, children, and men were posted on store windows. I go to Iraq, a man can have more than 3 women to himself, the youngest could be12. Women in the Middle East are forced to cover their bodies and if they caught cheating with their eyes, they would be stoned to death. Religion is in chaos in the Middle East. Here in the states a piece if paper and a ring means that woman is taken and owned. I don't believe women and animals should be owned by man.
I think it's interesting that you brought up male abuse and/or abdication of responsibility to the woman/home/children and crime. There probably is a correlation - but people don't bring it up enough or find solutions.
Powerful! Feel that conscious is expressing itself in all areas of life, and these fields are all so new for us to navigate that these collective thoughts and experiences shared by humans at the cusp of consciousness who found their voice is the way we will create the light that guides us towards a greater awakening. So thank you for your voices. Much love 💙🌴🌊
Society has evolved by not excepting things as they are. The drive to improve and be better does has flaws. But life experience is what gives humanity means to improve and evolve, so that our human potential and be exercised. It's ok for a older woman to have the desire to look youthful, for a young man to desire wisdom. It's all apart of evolving
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When was the last time you felt that you didn't hold yourself accountable? What were the repercussions of not taking ownership?
Man not taking ownership is like a time bomb. It builds up regret over time and it will explode into your face. At least for me. I wanted my dreams to be other people's dreams as well. I wanted my obsessions to be other people's obsessions for me to start going after them. I didn't owned my obsessions and dreams
Invite me to your show ,i would love to share my story with millions of people and your people ,it's my dream to come to your show and share my story. I 💕💕
Greetings with love from the Northern California Ranches
Love her.
Tom, this talk made me think about the book Ishmael when she spoke about us being animals. I hope you read that book if not I'd be happy to send you a copy. I'm grateful for this show I love it
Dr. Shefali, “it’s not about one man, it’s about the patriarchal system.” Tom, “I don’t agree with that. My wife was subconsciously taught to be a housewife” …
@@thecryptolifestyleadmin7095 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
100% and he isn’t even aware of it
@@sambarryofficial yeaaah it was a cringe moment
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed and he was dismissive of her. I'm sure he thinks of himself as enlightened towards women. That is the problem. Most men are so entitled they are blind to the subtle misogyny.
Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence-classic mansplaining
Mental illnesses are influenced by nutrition, but their real cause is what she says : deep disconnection from our real self, which origins in trauma, as Gabor Maté explains so masterfully!
Gabor is awesome and ive just discovered Dr. Shefali. What a treat.
try explaining this modern woman.. they say its men.. they say its the patriachy ..ect.. i met so many woman who wanted a LTR but never opened up themsel but still crying and pointing to others.. you see that almost everywhere.
men on the otherhand dont wining about that.. they winning because they dont beeing accepted. they also try disconnected with drugs or alkh.. because the woman's/mothers around them wont open up to them and accept them for humans.
Yes! I hear lot of Gabor Mate in Shefali!
I can see this beautiful soul is still in her journey, still solving inner conflicts and contradictions that come from life experiences, unique for all of us but so much alike.
She tells you what to do based on her experiences and maybe she is not even living all of what she says, don’t stress yourself on radically choosing a way or the other, remember to be a student not a follower. Listen to what serves you and decide/continue your own journey. Don’t get stuck in this, you do not need it, listen to your own inner voice, keep growing, keep searching.
And do not forget that as much as all these information serves us, and I truly appreciate it, some people make a lot of money out of this. And we might think they are so smart, they are awake, believe me they have their struggles and contradictions. Believe in you, go on your own journey, make your own conclusions, decide how you see life and if you see it differently know that it is ok.
Your comment is better than the actual conversation 🙏
I couldn’t agree more. We need to live life in our own terms and way.
100% ❤
Dr. Shefali speaks so much wisdom. She is at a higher level of consciousness, because she has found love for herself, in the most healthy sense, and is speaking truth. It's hard to comprehend that level of knowledge and peace if you are not there.
I really recommend her book... finished it yesterday it's really revealing you THE TRUTH. This woman is a force of nature... love her. Thank you Dr Shefali for reminding me what I already knew in my gut ❤❤❤
So she's suggesting you should dismantle your family unit to start a polyamorous relationship? Her discourse seems to be purely self-centered narcissism.
I'm in love with this woman! Finally someone that has eyes wide open and sees the world as it is! So humbling listening to her. And not to mention she is gorgeous!
Nice to see a woman on Impact Theory. Very scarce experience in general. That's not a critique to the program but just the reflection of the culture we are living in. You can agree or disagree with their viewpoints but it's good to have these topics being discussed. Great!!!
Have you watched Women Of Impact?
@@andresoropeza90 but that is all about relationships and finding out "what men want" -- very little on self growth and mastering your mind and body.
Andres already mentioned it , but Women of Impact is a whole Universe to itself.....and it’s a piece of the IMPACT THEORY world.
Yes there are fewer women on This channel, but it would be more unusual to find Men on the Women of Impact channel.
Be blessed 👍🏼💪🏼☺️
Leslie Simpkins....that’s just flat out incorrect.
@@lesliesimkin831 ummm women of impact is definitely NOT just about relationships and “finding what men want” That is definitely not what Lisa Bilyeu is about. They have amazing, inspiring women entrepreneurs interviewed by Lisa who is just as amazing as her husband
I love your kindness, graciousness and empathy for each guest you show. That's a true gift that i hope to continue to improve and cultivate, tom.
Such an extraordinary and amazing woman. Love the message she is talking about, the female world should know about this woman💞
What a wise woman she is, Dr.Shefali! She is also explaining it perfectly and patiently for a male. Impressive!
Agree with her 100%. Have travelled to many countries for 35 continuious years, there is no country I have seen where this massive issue does not exist. Tom love your channel...
Beautiful, insightful and incredibly wise words. If humanity thought and held beliefs like Dr Shifali, then the world would be such a beautiful, peaceful and far less toxic place. Great stuff!
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Tom, what a gift you gave us through this great conversation with Dr. Shefali!!!! Thanks🙏
So many men in the comments not wanting to agree with the guest, which is not surprising. Calling her crazy and trying to argue back, displaying exactly what she is trying to explain. Take a good hard look at yourself, self reflect on why you feel the way you do, why you are the way you are. Until you really do that, you won't understand how we have been brainwashed since birth and you'll never understand who you are.
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I'm so happy and proud to see this answer coming from a man
I’m violently disturbed about the fact that this episode could have attracted million viewers instead of 108 thousand considering how uplifting and liberating the content is. Thanks Dr Shefali for your wisdom
Dr. Shefali has an amazing way of explaining and her book is very helpful. Love her mind and her ability to spread the change that so needed!
She is Shefali 😊
I love Ms Shefali’s content and her calm and beautiful persona
GD, this talk just blew my mind. Fascinating interview Tom. Dr Shefali is an incredibly brilliant human being. 🙏🏼
I lost a little respect for Tom. Not only is he clueless about implications of patriarchy he is so adamant and attached to his perspective, that he failed to learn from her. The fact you feel encouraged to continue to echo your reasoning over hers shows you live in the very patriarchy culture she is talking about. Your meant to interview your guest, get their insights; not keep arguing it. Thank you Doc for being so graceful and intelligent 🙏🏽
Yeah this was the first time I’ve seen Tom be so resistant to what someone on his show was saying. It was icky to watch. He’s already got his set views on this subject and so was resistant to learning; really at odds with seeing how open he is in other interviews when he’s there with the mindset of ‘I’ve got something to learn’.
Just a learning for both. She talks about the facts. Tom was asking what was in his mind. We take what we want to take away. Good to expose to different views. Amazing interview 👏👏👏
She's full of crap. Good for Tom for standing up against it.
@@spk2008 enlighten us all....what specifically was, as you put it , crap....your wisdom should be publicly demonstrated. and please, show us your understanding of this by giving examples more than just a broad statement like, "all of it"....come on now, it's your chance to prove how smart YOU are. 😮
@PaulRediscovered She seems to be promoting marxian ideas that have been thoroughly debunked, like the idea of awakening to some kind of "true" consciousness while being vague and speaking in meaningless platitudes.
Dr Shefali does not follow what people think, she should say. Dr Shefali deconstructs with honesty, authenticity. THis is why she is needed in our world... thank you Dr Shefali thank you
I'd love to see a conversation between Dr. Shafali and Dr. Peterson. Great interview.
Yes, that would be fascinating
Yes! That would be great.
Me too
Jordan P would dismantle all of her fragile points
Hey Tom, usually I like your content but lately it has become apparent that your being challenged by your guests like Dr. Shefali. In this talk, particularly your naïveté towards the difficulties women face was oddly problematic. The story of your wife choosing to follow her dream and foregoing your laundry and cooking, causing you internal turmoil points to a very patriarchal foundation. My partner has and never would be responsible for my laundry. That’s insane to me. Keep navigating life, brother. Many lessons ahead for us all.
Thanks Nick! Very aptly said. The lack of insight is jarring.
Thank you for your comment.
Evidently, turning a blind eye to the fact that she could not handle being challenged in her idealism/feminism, is very easy to do for those who are unable to open their minds to see that there are two perspectives (at a minimum) to every discussion. A discussion should be just that, trying to understand the perspective of the other person, not an attempt at confirmation bias.
Well said dear. I have re watched this interview of Dr. Shefali and the one with Lewis Howes one after the other. The dynamic and understanding is so different. Lewis Howes is the type of man, personality that we all want to be around and in relationship with. So open, understandable, light, and sweet. Otherwise, those Alfa agressive males no one needs them, not even themselves. We are so done with them and their aggression.
@@univers368 lol
What an amazing women! I am so fascinated by her and this conversation, I cant wait to read her book. As a muslim women this conversation was so eye opening and unique i couldn't help with completely agree with her.
To say that there are no systemic barriers to freedom for ALL is telling of the advantage that one had because of it.
Privilege is invisible to those that have it
The glaring hole in this entire thesis about the "oppressive" nature of existing culture, systems and/or patriarchy is the absence of an honest explanation of why restrictions may exist for certain types of behaviour.
Codes, moral codes agreed upon by the greater society in order for a society to coexist in order to build civilization.
These codes are created from the observation of behaviours deemed to be destructive or constructive to a society. It is where laws come from.
For instance, monogamy is largely accepted as a beneficial attribute in a marriage. Why? Because if it is absent one is likely to subject oneself to a feeling of betrayal, exposure to potential disease and a rather flimsy sense of cohesion with something very important and beneficial to society....
Family.
Our societies are far from perfect, however, there are distinct reasons why particular bits of knowledge are passed down from parent to child.
Lessons learned.
Marriage was created to secure financial future for kids and women (when she is not able to work ex she has a newborn). Now, we have alimony and DNA test, whereas before that, how would you prove who's child is it..
In addition violent act towards women are progresslive banish by culture and laws (created by society - humanking - man and women). Our biology is something that have to be control by culture - example unwanted sexual acts. Therefore I 100% agree with your comment.
It does not make sense that you take examples as monogamy or talk about a codex that exists for the entire world. It does not. The only tune that all societies play is subjugation in one form or another of women.
Yes there is a huge and willfully blind hole in her thesis. She abstracts out an evil or alien drive in our culture and then denies that it can be based on biological forces. As if the “good” biological function would push us more towards equality. Taking to its extreme, man in its most basic or uncivilized form would move towards (not away) from equality- I can’t imagine this to be the case in primitive cultures. Simply put, she posits the bad part of our culture as alien to humanity and patriarchal and the good part of our culture as biological and more egalitarian. I would posit all parts of our culture good and bad are based on our biology as the human animal.
@📌 Pinned by Tom Bilyeu scammer you're not Tom
Awesome interview. Glad you brought her back to the show. Everything she speaks about resonates within me and I love the dynamic Tom brings to the conversation.
I love you Dr. Shefali! A mom of four, out of a very toxic marriage, you have literally saved my life! Forever grateful 🙏❤
I absolutely love her. Such a sage. So wise! His ego is being exposed in this.
I’m so glad he had Dr. Shafali on this show love her books and how she explains the teachings !
I don’t think that tom was expecting his own reaction to a lot of these points and maybe it was a huge eye-opener if he’s self-aware about the patriarchy and how real it is in todays day.
Just because he didn’t grow up with that experience doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Much love and awesome interview !
*Most people sit around and wait for inspiration, just some rare people get up and get to work.*
*I may not know you personally, but I believe in you that you will succeed!* 🙏
i cant believe I've just experienced the Title literally 44:08 enlightened me. I'm Unclogged!🤯
Tom is missing a lot of these points and is blocked from hearing and accepting truths that are different from his own... most of his engagement here feels counteractive
And Dr. Shefali still SOARED above this , and through - amidst the very thing she has recognized and awakened to. Absolutely amazing!
See imo it's because she sees everything in a negative light, and he is ultra positive. He still bragged on her throughout the show and gave her ton of credit, but I still believe he has a way better mindset and she is very negative.
Funny how it’s a man approving of Tom’s positivity and thinking the woman is being negative! To women she is just speaking truth. The thing is, Tom is being so respectful to her and obviously learning from her. This is why I love Tom - he is the best interviewer!
And yes, Tom doesn’t seem to grasp what she is saying. He can’t totally own and admit that women are culturally subjugated.
@@Protegida4 exactly exposing her for the charlatan she is
Dr Shefali is my latest and most exciting mentor yet. Excited to hear this. 🙌🏾
I love when she said, “just because we can, doesn’t mean we should”
Hey Tom. Great talk. I would love to see a discussion with Dr. Warren Farrel, who wrote about The Boy Crisis in which he adresses the problems for men throughout our industrial revolution. Yes, women have been subjected to all kinds of unjustified patriarchal restraints, but men have (and are) suffering from having to be self sacrificial and being disposable human beings.
Feminists won't talk about that
I’m a feminist and I want to talk about that… men are victims of this society too.
I am fascinated by Dr. Shefali ‘s talk and can’t wait to read her books. Thanks for this interview!
IMO all any of us can do is love and have empathy for one another. As the doctor said we are culture on a micro and macro level. How we interact with others is exponential. Good or bad.
Love this woman and everything she stands for! flipping amazing!!!
That was one of the wisest interviews I've seen in a very long time. What a beautiful mind, she is
Dr. Shefali is amazing and I loved this show. However, I would have liked to hear more from Dr. Shefali and less mansplaining from Tom.
Yes!
What you refer to mans planning from Tom it's called ego to be more precise.
Exactly. Most men think that they have come so far with misogyny but there is so much subtle sexism and mansplaining is one facet. Also, just being left out of conversation and if you jump in with legitimate knowledge a lot of men will let you know they don't really want your input. I could blather on but women know what I'm talking about.
my god this is whole another level of talks . this is very hard if you want to spread in humans right now , but i will 1st change myself in this and then try to make change in the world.
Dr. Shafali was on 🔥 and made very validated points the whole way through. I really enjoyed this podcast, thanks for this Tom, blessings and light to you both 💕🙏
Dr. Shefali is goals!
Thankyou Tom for being so open minded and sharp some great conversations
I think the explanation of patriarchy could use some simplification, as I really appreciate Tom’s legit confusion on what is “patriarchy.” I think it’s easiest to point out that patriarchy is simply a rule of law that was established solely by men & ergo by a viewpoint that is void of a feminine perspective.
When women were granted “full citizenship” i.e. full personhood, it’s not like the rule of law was rewritten with a representation of the feminine perspective.
Absolutely amazing
Thank you Dr. Shefali on articulating the power of the patriarchy.
Being self aware is so important. Notice what you are noticing and then you can change it if needed. Great interview!! Just loving it. ❤️💪
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Love from India ❤️
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Sending love to India ♥️ from 🇨🇦
I'm a 69 year old girl and I've connected completely with Dr. Shefali. My humble thanks to her mind and books
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I really enjoyed listening to this interview with Dr Shefali ! Whilst I don’t agree that people are animals as a believer in God, Dr Shefali shared so many great insights which were further explored in helpful ways through her responses to Tim Bilyeu’s questions. I agree that there is systemic toxic patriarchy within society, & sadly men in leadership have misused their roles to oppress women & even more sadly many in women themselves have supported this oppression in various ways. I’m looking forward to listening to Dr Shefali’s book on ‘A Radical Awakening’ on Audible, to learn more from her insights & thoughts as the book definitely has a lot to offer even if I won’t agree with all of the views within it.
What an amazing woman. Thank you for speaking so clearly. And I say to Tom you can know what you don’t know until your mind is opened to a new level
Self-love is self-worth. When you love yourself you find your authentic nature. Then for the first time in your life, you will be comfortable in your skin, knowing that you are perfect in the way you are at your core.
This is dope. Also love seeing people not agreeing but staying grown up about it. Great video, Tom! #anotherone
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I used to work in partisan politics and I can assure you culture is not unconscious. There is very real money, real time, energy and there are very real people working hard to create cultural movements - sometimes via co-opting or creating a celebrity, sometimes via all eyes on one big story or crime or tragedy of the moments, or via a new trend - to plant and spread specific ideas that they believe will lead to a specific response, and there always has been this type of work going on to varying degrees of success.
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Thank you Dr Shefali!
What an amazing interview!! Loved it.
we don't have to do gym to get into shape.... But to feel the strength n healthy💪... Its all about your intention! Keep that pure!
Great interview, I agree with another comment that it would have been nicer to hear more from Dr Shefali than Tom but it is also good to see him question something he doesn't agree/understand. With that to and fro, I believe that maybe its his ego popping up and disagreeing that its 'man' that has created patriarchy and has oppressed women and girls and has created this systemic problem. However Dr Shefali did specify that its not any one man's fault just as racism isn't any one white person's fault, but a cultural issue that has resulted because men happened to be at the top of the food chain at beginning of modern civilization because they're bigger/stronger/better.
Perhaps this topic is more feminine inclined for him for all its meant to be for anyone who wants to awaken themselves? Jay Shetty's interview with Dr Shefali explains the man's and woman's role in shaping the culture more in depth how it may have been man that started it but actually its women that now continue to do it themselves, food for thought for sure.
His "not understanding" the patriarchy is laziness--he is choosing NOT to explore it
I'm 17 minutes in, I agree with everything she say about human nature. How destructive we can be, our primal nature controlling our psychology and our behaviors and how we should pursue awareness and improving our consciousness. .. but lol idk about using Mars as an example for "just because we can doesn't mean we should". We are finite beings and as far as we know, this is the only place in the entire universe where consciousness exists. We need to preserve and expand that as far as we can. It's not a need for dominance , but rather a need for understanding. Also self preservation like she said, but just preservation of humanity in general.
Love this conversation!!!
There’s something about this that feels contradictory…
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I 💯 % agree with Dr Shefali! I’ve felt this way and had questioned myself till now, when I heard all about it, makes more sense and now i can see my confusion in life up till this point. Thank you for this great episode! 💕 sharing this with everyone ✅
“Indigenous wisdom will bring us back home.”
When colonization came through, it ruined our food systems… and so many things. I’d like to see more indigenous peoples on the show talking about reclaiming ✊🏾 culture, values… etc
My very religious upbringing fits into this theory absolutely. And I've seen it with so many religious women, not as much secular women.
Bravo!
Unfortunately, ageism is real. I remember never thinking I would have to worry about it, but at 57, I feel the difference in how I am treated in the workplace, and if I decide to pursue any other professional opportunities, I am concerned I would not stand a chance against a 20-something fresh-faced competitor. I am actively researching cosmetic surgery right now. I feel I have no choice if I am to survive in the workspace. This is very interesting. I agree and feel the culture is twisted not just regarding how a woman looks, but everything mentioned, including accepting cruelty to animals, cruelty to each other, and really odd values that make us insatiable consumers.
There should be more companies that honor wisdom and experience over the impulsive energy of a 20 year old.
I am a fan of your UA-cam Channel Tom
We women live, experience life exactly the same way Dr.Shefali talks about Tom
It's more about our own invisible, mental conditioning which we women ourselves are unaware of - for a very long time - until we grow a little older
or when our children grow up and somehow our daughters too need to continue the same way as we did - once they enter family life
Even if they are professionals on their own with economical independence
The difference between men & women in life begins right when we women become mothers to young babies - who need 24/7 care for a really long time
Thank you Tom and Shefali 🙏 I am grateful ❤✌😁
Best interview I watched from you Tom!
Dr Shefali explaining patriarchy and Tom B saying it isn't like that... it's very obvious how a male still is saying what is and isn't the world for a woman and women. Consciousness is certainly the way, but when that happens will be a long time.. this discussion is very important.
It is amazing 😍😍😍 I love it soooo much. How weird it is to see it from outside the beauty paradigm...!
Best show ever!!
I know a woman who was born in the 1920s. As we were watching a female CEO, she declared, "Oh, what does a woman know about business."
Nobel winner Jennifer Douda was told by her high school guidance counselor that women do not do science.
We are all mad here. We call these cultural implants the patriarchy, from the latin pater meaning father, but it is one bar of the prison of culture.
Lack of community is the true cause of mental illness, this comes from ( me) a Food and Health Educator, meaning the food we eat contributes to mental illness but lack of true connection ( community,) is the biggest issue we are facing. If you go even deeper its our traumas in the past that keep us from coming together, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Humility leads us to find our truth, a collective truth. We can only change consciousness in a better way by finding our authentic nature. Most of us are living unconsciously. The only way to grow is to change our consciousness.
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I want Dr. Shefali and Michael Singer to have a talk together.
She's my vitual therapist- love her work.
Love getting out of the banal day to day thinking we / I was/were programmed with! Thank you Tom!
A woman I can agree on many topics with. And coming to these conclusions after having lived this life as an Indian woman. I’m fucking impressed!
For real with the mansplaining moment... GREAT thoughts from Dr Shefali though and she handled it tactfully.
This opened up some interesting and uncomfortable perspectives- and I’m thankful for that! It’s good to feel the wheels turning in our brains.
🤘😜 Thanks for the conversation you two! It gives us a lot to think about. Time to so some self-homework! *scribbles away in a sketchbook*
Yees, yess and yess! I am also on a journey of finding my own voice, one year down lifetime to go. Thank you 💙
She has some good insights on culture, but her approach is a black & white application overly emphasizes it's and makes victims of everyone - especially women and children. Yes, AND, of course radical ownership is therefore powerful, necessary and transformative. But culture also includes so much of the good, true and beautiful - which she appears to ignore.
It’s really interesting that you think that, because what I got from this wasn’t black and white at all. I think she fully acknowledges the good, true, and beautiful….but that as humans, our collective ego has become overly inflated. I think she holds those thoughts simultaneously, and that’s why she wrote her book in the first place. I also don’t understand the victimhood, because the entire premise of the interview is radical ownership, with the basis of that being *acceptance.* I would love to understand your perspective, but I can’t really see where it’s coming from.
I did not get that viewpoint ruther it is a view a bigger perspective, bigger picture. The awareness of what is, creates freedom for one to not play the victim role.
I think that a lot of people have trouble taking radical ownership over their priviledge and insulated experience. It's unfortunate that this woman has to fight to get the credibility she deserves, because her perspective makes others uncomfortable. She is the PhD ...
@@KlondikeMIC I agree with you in part, but I disagree in that I think that she's only getting the credibility she deserves based upon the value of the quality of her arguments, which I think are mostly sound, but have some fatal flaws to them. It's understandable and she even speaks to the level of her own cognitive bias and myopia in that she is fighting the things that wounded her and of course so those are the most important to her. However she portrays her own experience of Oppression and challenges as universal, which of course they are not. In that she loses credibility. However again it's totally understandable given her experience. Her next step is to transcend her own experience and thereby actually taking the radical ownership over her own life that she's speaking to. When she does that her perspectives of course will change. Still, we all have to recognize how remarkable and Brilliant a woman she is and that she has fought so hard to overcome so many things and so she has earned deep respect and admiration for that.
Indeed
Dr. Shefali‘s work is extraordinarily gifted. Amazing and insightful interview❤️
I am all for people becoming less sheepish and I am well aware of the need to stand for real change that takes us back to a natural life. That is why I live off grid. However there are MEAN, GREEDY, POWERFUL, and POLITICAL PEOPLE behind all of this. That is what many people are not conscious of. Therein lies the problem being trapped between power and the overwhelming population of the unconscious human.
Dr Shefali is simply captivating
I’ve noticed that when I highlight what I consider my good features and then say to myself this is as good as it gets and then genuinely go on with my day not obsessed with my appearance I end up getting the most compliments that I look nice. Funny how that works. Really like her point of view!
Self acceptance ♥️
Yes, im 48 and am sitting in a couch thinking where hv i lost myself. Wht hv i done to myself. I need many more awakening to shed all those garbages i hv gathered all along these yrs. Im done and exhausted, not in anywhere near waking up. I rather want to sleep forever. Oh!! This is too much. It dsnt make any difference if im not there on this earth. It is true there are plenty around me like me, down and dusted expecting an end to it.. Im concerned..
Hey this is a nice talk and all, I learned some new things and recognized a few topix that I already embody. Well to keep this short, no that'll take too long, I'll summer eyes.
I was in the army and I do believe it helped me be a better man. I learned how to mop floors and clean bathrooms to say the least. Your left side cargo pocket is for trash until you can get to a proper receptacle to dispose of it. The Army didn't teach me how to do laundry, Learnt that just like my peers but we all had our own way ironing & starching our GD-BDU's. I'll finish with saying not to look at a situation as a problem yet as a potential resolution opportunity. Now stand up straight and go take on the day.
Dr. Shefali: you are enough
Tom: be legendary
Lol this made me giggle!!
Dang she is hitting with a whole bunch of wise quotes here "self acceptance is your greatest sword" and "beauty for utility vs a standard of beauty"
Now more than ever do we need this man and his videos. Thank you sir and and you guests.
THANK YOU !
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Interesting interview, well done !
A beyond brilliant conversation! Judging from some of the comments below you certainly struck a chord, Dr. Shefali! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Amazing Interview! Also, imho, this is not only relevant for women as I am male and my (divorced) mother tried to raise me to be a "good girl" / "good boy" too (maybe because it was all she knew, so I cannot really blame, it's the system). Anyway, that led to the same results: me letting others push me around, abuse me mentally and not protecting my boundaries.
Always trying to please others (especially mother's emotional needs), in return becoming so disconnected with my own nature & true self and already having suicidal thoughts at the age of 12.
So, without wanting to take any weight from what Dr. Shefali says about the system influencing girls/women, to me it seems like a general problem in society, influencing everyone, no matter which gender you have (possibly influencing females more directly and males more indirectly, e.g. through upbringing by a mother who fell for the system).
Need to say though that a lot of people use these external factors, that certainly can vary from one to another in different countries over the world, as excuses (exactly what Dr. Shefali says herself you shouldn't rely on; external factors to fulfill your needs. In this case the need to have someone/something external to blame instead of looking within). So, when she talks about patriarchy, it feels like she is telling to exactly look for what she previously says not to do..and that is victimizing yourself, feels kinda contradictive.
We are not responsible for our upbringing, but for what we do with what we have, so where is the practicality in blaming external factors on the road of taking care of your true self?!
People, we need to stand up for ourselves, our own values & opinions and protect our boundaries!
How else could we possibly get along with each other?
Always trying to please and in the back of our mind constantly thinking about what we will get in return (e.g. emotional needs being met, being loved, etc.)?
Playing an act of kindness constantly with the secret hope of our needs being fulfilled (although, through that act, we'd never say what we really think and stand for, therefore not even communicating our needs/wants/boundaries so people wouldn't even know them)?
Feeling the need to be angry at others, because they don't fulfill our needs although we "give our everything" to them?
Having a kind of balance scale in our mind where we put our actions on one side, their actions on the other side and want to create balance? Isn't that kind of trying to manipulate others to do what you want them to and especially self-manipulative too (through the delusion that the scale needs to be balanced)?
Shouldn't we want others to have their freedom (not expecting them to meet our needs) and want to have our freedom ourselves?
So, we'd respect ourselves, just help others and be kind if we truly can and want to, by own choice & voluntarily and therefore never feel the need to expect anything in return, which leads to us being able to truly appreciate and be grateful if someone acts with kindness towards us (as it's all free choice) and this, in turn, potentially leading to improved relationships in general.
Again, just my opinion, this topic concerns every human being who was raised/conditioned to be "good", always giving and trying to please others without taking ownership of and care for their own true self, needs, goals & boundaries. Maybe it really feels worse for females (I am not in that skin), but I personally, wouldn't even differentiate that much on this topic.
Still, awesome Interview, Dr. Shefali rocks!!
@Tom Bilyeu, in case you read this: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the content you put out! To me, it is immeasurably valuable and I'd bet to a sh!t ton of other people too ❤ Really appreciate the effort you put in, you're amazing man!
EDIT: Don't want to tell anyone what to do, that "People, we need to[...]" part is more of a self-preach 😂
I agree with DR. Shefali when comes to the man is always in control. My dad made the rules, he paid the bills, made babies, beat the shit out of us. My mom took care of everything inside the house including my 6 siblings 25/7. The mental thing has so much to do with how women were (are)treated; my mother was afraid of my father to step in and protect us from his abuse. We grew up tucked up because of this. I still see women doing everything for their men here in the states, I don't like it. If men would step in and help their wives with their kids, and stop the cycle of abuse, there wouldn't be so much crime. Women need to be in control of their own lives as well as the men. No one owns no one!! When I was stationed in Europe, sex was freely talked about. Nude beaches and nude posters of females, children, and men were posted on store windows. I go to Iraq, a man can have more than 3 women to himself, the youngest could be12. Women in the Middle East are forced to cover their bodies and if they caught cheating with their eyes, they would be stoned to death. Religion is in chaos in the Middle East. Here in the states a piece if paper and a ring means that woman is taken and owned. I don't believe women and animals should be owned by man.
I think it's interesting that you brought up male abuse and/or abdication of responsibility to the woman/home/children and crime. There probably is a correlation - but people don't bring it up enough or find solutions.
Powerful! Feel that conscious is expressing itself in all areas of life, and these fields are all so new for us to navigate that these collective thoughts and experiences shared by humans at the cusp of consciousness who found their voice is the way we will create the light that guides us towards a greater awakening. So thank you for your voices. Much love 💙🌴🌊
Society has evolved by not excepting things as they are. The drive to improve and be better does has flaws. But life experience is what gives humanity means to improve and evolve, so that our human potential and be exercised. It's ok for a older woman to have the desire to look youthful, for a young man to desire wisdom. It's all apart of evolving
She is intelligent. She put her points across. Wish she talked more about consciousness.
This is an extraordinary & bold conversation. Thank you 👌🏽
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