Going through a very, very difficult time right now with this very exact thing. My heart feels like it’s just been ripped out of my chest. Your videos give me the confidence to know that I will get better. You are an incredibly well gifted communicator. Thank you so much for the content that you provide for everybody I have benefited an extraordinary amount from it.
My wife of 20 years left me 3 mths ago. We had issues in the past, but it seems to be over now. I am so upset. I have been in no contact most of the time.
He's so right. Human psychology and emotion isnt logical. I'm obsessing over my ex because of the fear of losing her. But when i let go it hurts because i feel like i'm letting her move on. It doesnt make any sense.
Dear Ken, I just spent hours listening to your videos, I've never heard anyone be so compassionate and understanding about the pain NC really is. So much gratitude towards the universe that your video's appeared in my life ...thank you! I did all the mistakes (putting her up on a pedalstull, gave everything and lost myself, being needy...etc.) a classic that you've heard a gazillion times I'm sure...she just said she thought she was ready to be in a relationship, but isn't and basically said thanks for all the magical moments together. Guess kinda wants to put me in the "friend zone". I feel that she thinks that: me doing NC is because she hurt my feeling's. I'm just another guy that knows that she will never come back because she is not emotionally available at all for me. Peace 🕊️
You'd be surprised.Keep accepting that she'll never be back,do your own day to day thing while having no sort of interaction with her and then you'll see
My ex of 6 months and no contact is brutal. I know this is the best thing for me and I get stronger each day. Funny, I know he’s never coming back and there is someone out there for me but my ego is taking a beating. 😢
Well on this case I would recommend unfollowing and if you don’t want them to unfollow just hide your stories from them. This will make you avoid posting just for them or checking if they saw your story. No contact is no contact
This is so hard. Intense 6 month relationship where we basically were together everyday. She broke it off with me and I’ve been in no contact for 1.5. Months she’s in a rebound and I can barely eat and sleep. I want to reach out so bad but im trusting this painful process.
I'm going through similar situation. 5 month relationship, pretty much living together then yesterday after we had great conversation, he texted me that he didn't think we were a good fit. I'm 56 years old and in a lot of pain . These videos really help.
Why you want someone who getting smashed by another dude..putting her in all types of positions..THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW‼️..yall are weird..REACH OUT FOR WHAT..LET HER GO
Some simple activities like cooking,listening good music and working out produced feel-good hormones. I try all of these and not gonna lie it does feel amazing. Its been more than a year now and I am at very good place. Sending you all love and hugs ❤
I agree only problem is I loved cooking whilst my kids were walking around or sitting on the bench watching me/wanting to help. Also I adored bringing a meal to my partner she was awesome with honest feedback.. my lil food tester 💔 but I know she will be back wanting us again we’ve been split over a year and a half but we were hanging out until a few weeks ago she wants something else. Every time I go, no contact she calls me continuously. This time I’m not answering.
My SP said something to me 3 weeks ago and it wasn’t what I wanted to here from her so I went straight into NC and this SP I still love so much, now the thing is I haven’t begged or pleaded for her to stay. I know it’s only been 3 weeks but I feel great, my job is going well my finances are going well and I am living a life like I would if my SP was with me !!, now I would rather have her with me but I will also be ok without her as I was ok before she came into my life… me doing NC now has probably got her thinking that if this guy told me he loved me like he said then why isn’t he contacting me. I know I have done nothing wrong in our relationship and I know my worth and value and what I can bring to the table. I just think I’m in a better place than she is and until she is there she isn’t able to come to me that’s why she’s let me go for now.
Ive started my song writing a playi ng piano again and ive resumed cake decorating. So much fun !!!😊 Not sitting around depressed and down. Yes I'm sad but I'm also Strong.
The YESOUL spin bike's resistance levels are off the charts! Leisuring it up or getting my sweat on feels seamless, plus mirroring my fave cycling seshes. So stoked it's a jack-of-all-trades!
I just experienced a panic attack in a grocery store where we shopped together and then cooked meals at home. It felt like someone cut the oxygen supply. I couldn't breathe. I ran back to the car and started crying hysterically. I don't want to suppress it. I think of it as purging. The more I get it out the faster I will get over. Anyway, I used to paint. Very therapeutic and doesn't require talent. I finally took the next step and next month I will have my very first exhibit in a local gallery. I'm going to pick up more canvas and paint and get to work. I'm also, going to work on becoming a notary, which will be useful for my work. I'm starting to feel a little glimpses of joy here and there. I still crash and cry. I love him and miss him. But, I love myself more. ❤
I would say: avoid places that remind you of them, not for ever but for now. I remember when I was in NC and in places which reminded me of them I was overwhelmed with sadness. Now ( 2 yrs after the breakup) it doesn't bother me at all😊
We broke up and went no contact 3 weeks ago. She instigated this. 4 days ago she texted to see how i am, apparently she cares. Ive known her for 35 years. Im still maintaing no contact. Im happy, relaxed, sleeping well. Do i miss her, well, after about the first 2 to 3 days, no. I can slurp my hot cofee with no complaints. Financially ill be ruined. Im gonna be homeless. Not quite, vanlife, here i come. Do i want her back. No, never, lifes to short to be unhappy. Oh BTW im 60 years old. All you young ppl, you only have one life, enjoy it, do what you want, theres plenty of fish in the sea. Youll soon learn, with women, its only your turn. For a while. Take care all, have a great adventures life. Colect experiences.
Ha! I’m a woman.. and bought a camper van and living in it. It’s gonna be sweet when she reaches out! Can’t wait. But.. it has been absolute hell I must say! I too can’t sip my coffe without complaints.. I can’t wear my hair “beach messy” w/o complaints, I can’t walk outside in my PJs..w/o complaints. Definitely her loss.. not mine.
I think before "hitting to the gym" people must start with eating fresh and healthy. Food really affect our emotions. If we really eat the food that is good for our body and soul, then we will start feeling good about ourselves (or at least feel a change from where we started), and then maybe only a 30 minutes excercise at home would be enough.
Indeed true, good nutrition is important for helping you survive the pain of a break up. Also you might end up looking leaner and healthier, so it is a win-win situation.
Coach Ken I just want to say thank you for your videos. You’re advice has given me a lot of hope when my emotions tell me otherwise and try to make me feel hopeless or negative in my situation. One thing that you said that will always resonate with me is “Your emotions aren’t necessarily reality but emotions can feel very real, doesn’t mean it’s true”
On my way to go full no contact. It’s challenging when you are forced to talk due to logistics. I’ve already started focusing on self development and personal growth Looking forward to soon have some common threads removed like common accounts, change of address etc. Wish me luck.
Excellent content as always. Had a call with you back in August, which really helped. I don't feel any further forward in terms of getting her back, however still maintaining the strength to stay away (96 days NC) & the intensity of pain is fading. I've also got to a point where i feel a bit lost, so really needed to hear this today. I look forward to the next vid 💙
I can't thank you enough, I wish I could send you flowers or something nice. No one has helped me like you have. Before I discovered you I never realised my add contributed so badly to my dark limerince. I'm a year and 10 months post shock breakup and I cry everyday and I've become a hollow shell of myself, I lost so many friends but still managed hang onto my job that I love and help my brother get into a good path fresh out of prison, all without the help of my boyfriend, it's so hard and scary but yeah I did gain weight and stop doing anything healthy or nice for myself except the responsibilities I have to mind my dog and cat and brother, but I'm gonna try harder and I seriously appreciate your advice and wise insights, you're saving lives and reaching a huge audience that really needs you. You should be so proud of yourself ❤
Having a dog definitely helps, my German shepherd Husky Theia has helped me through the most painful moments of NC. She always comforts me when I’m depressed or upset.
Lol...be careful. People will say you're a narcissist cause you love your dog😂 I have an Aussie that has stuck by my side...so I get it and it does help.
I illustrate (lots of graphics)when not working backstage. Has a breakup in late August and started back on my children book series. Also purchased a hearpress to start my clothing line. I’m working out and lost 12 lbs. in therapy and doing a CBT program. Learning guitar. I’m doing all the cliches 😂 …Me and her have started have a little bit of time together again that goes well on basic dates. Not sure of what to do except keep doing what I’m doing. Would like to get back with her, but realize I’m doing things for myself to be dope. Not sure what to do about her and us but am liking the basic dates we do.
Hey Coach, great video. You provide a handy blueprint, on how to navigate these traumatic times. Surfing’s my escape. When I’m out on the water, especially with a few buddies, I get to refocus on what’s important in life. I’m 2 months post break up, and 7 weeks NC. No word yet, and I still hope it’s her when my phone receives a message. But hey, one day at a time.
Mine left me about 10 days ago on a Sunday night. We were together almost 2 years. Thought this was the last guy I would ever have to be with. Didn't think this one could actually let me go. The ones in my past,Yes , but not this one. From the get go I thought God had seriously put him in my life forever. It just felt like this is the one in this is the one i've loved the most. This is a very hard time and my parents are going through hell too.. I feel. Like I have such a burden on me.
Love Your dog is gorgeous, so lucky to have Him I don’t know why I watch these videos You give great advice He isn’t going to contact Me again . When He moves on He doesn’t go back . He has broken up with rather a few Women I’m just another one He just keeps going and doesn’t look back He said He knows how to avoid feelings . He turns a break up into something positive Right now He’d be feeling relieved , convinced He has made the right decision
😂😂 "High 5 douche Bag" classic Coach Ken humor!! Taking this Mantra to the gym!! Coming back for refresher..yep had sessions w/Coach and he's spot on..he came back 2x...just as coach described. I Gotta keep boundaries and Stay on the pedestal. Thanks Coach. If you need help, Ken is brilliant.
Going through this pain right now. Been over a month I implemented the no contact last week on Thursday telling her that I’m not a convenience and that my wish is to be with her and I cannot be her friend. She was very defensive and failed to see my point of view… we share 2 dogs and I told her I cannot be strung along in seeing each other cause of the dogs without being able to hug kiss love her was bringing me pain
I just want to extend my gratitude and admiration for the work you do. The way you express and form your thoughts is amazing. THANK YOU, we all need to hear this from a person as confident and intelligent as you!
How can you guys balance the pain of missing and and want them back and focus on personal growth at the same time ? I want to fully heal and enjoy my life if she comes fine , if not fine , just wanna be the person I used to be
Hey Coach Ken, been 2 months NC and i think i should deactivate my social media to really focus on myself. I still want her back but does it look petty? Im not blocked or anything just kinda wanna go radio silence
Hi coach Ken, amazing video, my ex gives me mixed signals since the beginning of September. She firstly liked a photo I posted in Instagram, and then 3 days later, she started to see my stories. She doesn't always see my stories but started to watch it a lot. Also when was on a trip, she was wearing a ring that I gave to her. 1 week ago, her father wished me luck for starting University and said would like to meet me again. Since I broke up with her, I focused more on myself, and my life is going great, but really I have been thinking for her a lot, see her in dreams, and stuff like that, but I don't think she will come back, or if she texts me, will be when I will move to Germany, close to her
Not working out for her or anything else. Love me for me. Elvis once said before one of his song " if you love me let me know if you don't then move it."
So my ex immediately got into a new relationship (or monkey branched into it), she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I didn't know about the NC thing and after 2 weeks, I asked her how she's feeling, to which she replied she's not sure and when I probed further, she told me she's having issues with her new bf and that made her miss me. Obviously I overreacted and told her if she's already having issues she should consider coming back, which was a mistake (again, didn't know about the whole NC strategy back then). I kinda wonder though what's up with that? Why did she tell me about issues and that she misses me? Is it genuine? Is it a good sign?
And what if he is getting married now to a woman he was dating before me? He knows her for 4 years. And he was talking negative about her. Saying she is a person who steals your identity. He knows me for 30 years and our relationship was 6 months. He was really opening up to me. And talking about some future plans. What should I do in this case?🙏 And he closed his FB. Hasn't watched my stories in messenger for several days. I love him so very much. I'm devastated and don't know what to do. Any advice?🙏🙏🙏 I can not afford a 1on1, I just got out of hospital.
My ex also replaced me by someone else and we knew each other for 20 years (first a relationship of 1 year the first time we met and then another one of 3 years many years later). We were friends all in all. But now she has completely disappeared, not giving a shit about me.
She left me after 10 years of relationship she told me that she has lost all the fillings for me she block from everywhere except emails its been 2months now its the third time we separated in these 10 years and she was allways the person ended up things what can i do please iv done all the mistakes begging etc texting call her i need help please i love her so much
My guy has NPD tendencies and he cried during our last conversation. I wrote him a love letter, just in case we get back together. I'm trying not to give up hope. I also wrote my feelings down if things don't work out. As much as I want to send that love letter, I'm refraining. I don't have FB although my friends are friends of his, they won't check his page for me. I'm sure it's for my own good. I am trying to keep myself busy, it's so very hard tho 😢
If you want to do anything in life it requires training or preparing. Always have that in the back of your mind. Getting a brown belt in karate overnight doesnt happen. Learning japanese doesnt just happen. Landing accurate shots in archery doesnt just happen. If youre too heavy you cant just hop on a horse or skydive. Overcoming 13 years of reconstructive surgeries doesnt just happen.
Good looks are not always the most important thing. Common values and charisma are the most important, because of the energy and harmony, empathy gratitude, joy etc. If you have nothing in common good looks start to be meaningless. Good looks are sometimes related to materialism as some say, if you look at yourself obsessively in the mirror too often, it's materialism. It's like a commercial advertisement telling you 100 times a day that you have to always look good etc, but it's a materialistic way of thinking if you're overdoing it. Love is energy, love is not about logic or materialism. and love doesn't care whether you gained 3 pounds or not. because you may easily lose weight over time. But if you are obsessed of your looks it has nothing to do with love or attractiveness. You should rather do hobbies that make you happy and it makes you attractive.
Definitely does not always work - details and specifics matter but I'll also say her being with someone else in 2 weeks is weak evidence that it will never work.
My lady friend decided she was down grading our romantic relationship to latoníc without any explanation I've been trying to do no contact I'm stuck o the probability she's gott in evolved with someone already this happened about 2 and a half months ago and we have just come back from a cruise to the islands at the end of October 2023 just want to know what brought all that about thanks
Hey couch my break up occurred in this July only after that i beeled and bag and all drama by me after a week i going No contact but i seen after a month she was put a flying bird pic on her profile, i feel it was a smoke signal for me but i was not respoded her what should i do now please suggest me
100% - and who they are in the middle of that disorder isn't real. It isn't a reality they are capable of maintaining so we end up chasing ghost who seemed real long enough to make us believe it was the truth.
My bf of 8 years left to go back to his country to visit, and when he arrived, he communicated with me for the first week, then after that , no communication.. it's been 7 weeks now we haven't spoken he haven't called or text. What should I do? I tried to reach out last week and I asked him what's the status of out relationship and he said he and I are no longer in a relationship. And then later that night he messaged asking for a pic In a thongs . I told him no, because I felt used.. since then no more communication. What should I do?
Watch 2 videos by Coach Lee called something like "is my ex a Narcissist" and the other video is called something like "7 things a narcissist cant feel"
Good for you not sending him the picture. That was not a love move on his part. That was a move to "use" you and show he values you very little. Send him a picture found online of an old fat man with cellulite in a thong. But do not send him your picture, ever, to him or anyone. I have known pictures show up elsewhere on thevinternet, friends or family's email, after the picture were shared with someone who swore to keep it secret.
I love when u say "congratulations douchbag" xD indeed some feel proud to claim to not have emotions and to not been involved lol ps: about shape, I'm not a superficial person and honestly I would not care anything even if my person gains 5 kg, that's not what matters, I personally I'm UNATTRACTED by guys going to the gym! Lol, so every situation is specific, I hate guys with muscles, they look so superficial to me, I like naturally slim guys but even if they gain weight it' fine to me! It's really the inside that matters (now we're not talking of obese, that's unhealthy, but a little belly it's totally fine to me)
Hey couch my break up occurred in this July only after that i beeled and bag and all drama by me after a week i going No contact but i seen after a month she was put a flying bird pic on her profile, i feel it was a smoke signal for me but i was not respoded her what should i do now please suggest me
Don’t respond to “smoke signals” or other subtle + ambiguous behaviors. Stop looking for signs from her. Instead, focus on yourself, your growth, your healing + grieving process. Only if she initiates contact with you (phone or text) do you need to respond. (I, too, have been in no contact since July. Yes, it is hard at times but my mind + heart have definitely shifted from the early days or weeks. Now I am not sure if I want to get back with her, and I have started casually dating other people.)
Going through a very, very difficult time right now with this very exact thing. My heart feels like it’s just been ripped out of my chest. Your videos give me the confidence to know that I will get better. You are an incredibly well gifted communicator. Thank you so much for the content that you provide for everybody I have benefited an extraordinary amount from it.
I am in the same place, and appreciate how much these videos are helping. I hope you are doing better.
Update @@She.33
Do you have a 6 month update? How have you been? What's changed?
any update ?
My wife of 20 years left me 3 mths ago. We had issues in the past, but it seems to be over now. I am so upset. I have been in no contact most of the time.
He's so right. Human psychology and emotion isnt logical. I'm obsessing over my ex because of the fear of losing her. But when i let go it hurts because i feel like i'm letting her move on. It doesnt make any sense.
Dear Ken,
I just spent hours listening to your videos, I've never heard anyone be so compassionate and understanding about the pain NC really is. So much gratitude towards the universe that your video's appeared in my life ...thank you!
I did all the mistakes (putting her up on a pedalstull, gave everything and lost myself, being needy...etc.) a classic that you've heard a gazillion times I'm sure...she just said she thought she was ready to be in a relationship, but isn't and basically said thanks for all the magical moments together. Guess kinda wants to put me in the "friend zone".
I feel that she thinks that: me doing NC is because she hurt my feeling's.
I'm just another guy that knows that she will never come back because she is not emotionally available at all for me.
Peace 🕊️
He is the man!!
Best wishes for you too brother
You'd be surprised.Keep accepting that she'll never be back,do your own day to day thing while having no sort of interaction with her and then you'll see
My ex of 6 months and no contact is brutal. I know this is the best thing for me and I get stronger each day. Funny, I know he’s never coming back and there is someone out there for me but my ego is taking a beating. 😢
Hang in there. Hope you find peace 🙏
Not stalking social media is tough, especially when they watch all your insta stories, like if they saying “dont move on keep stalking me”
Well on this case I would recommend unfollowing and if you don’t want them to unfollow just hide your stories from them. This will make you avoid posting just for them or checking if they saw your story. No contact is no contact
This is so hard. Intense 6 month relationship where we basically were together everyday. She broke it off with me and I’ve been in no contact for 1.5. Months she’s in a rebound and I can barely eat and sleep. I want to reach out so bad but im trusting this painful process.
I'm going through similar situation. 5 month relationship, pretty much living together then yesterday after we had great conversation, he texted me that he didn't think we were a good fit. I'm 56 years old and in a lot of pain . These videos really help.
Why you want someone who getting smashed by another dude..putting her in all types of positions..THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW‼️..yall are weird..REACH OUT FOR WHAT..LET HER GO
Update?
hi any update ?
A had an ex break up with me a month before a very importance fitness competition. I channeled that pain to get new PRs. ❤
Focus on yourself even if it is for them. That is the greatest motivator to be the best person you can be.
"High 5 Douchebag" Had me losing it
Some simple activities like cooking,listening good music and working out produced feel-good hormones. I try all of these and not gonna lie it does feel amazing. Its been more than a year now and I am at very good place. Sending you all love and hugs ❤
I agree only problem is I loved cooking whilst my kids were walking around or sitting on the bench watching me/wanting to help. Also I adored bringing a meal to my partner she was awesome with honest feedback.. my lil food tester 💔 but I know she will be back wanting us again we’ve been split over a year and a half but we were hanging out until a few weeks ago she wants something else. Every time I go, no contact she calls me continuously. This time I’m not answering.
❤
My SP said something to me 3 weeks ago and it wasn’t what I wanted to here from her so I went straight into NC and this SP I still love so much, now the thing is I haven’t begged or pleaded for her to stay. I know it’s only been 3 weeks but I feel great, my job is going well my finances are going well and I am living a life like I would if my SP was with me !!, now I would rather have her with me but I will also be ok without her as I was ok before she came into my life… me doing NC now has probably got her thinking that if this guy told me he loved me like he said then why isn’t he contacting me. I know I have done nothing wrong in our relationship and I know my worth and value and what I can bring to the table. I just think I’m in a better place than she is and until she is there she isn’t able to come to me that’s why she’s let me go for now.
Ive started my song writing a playi ng piano again and ive resumed cake decorating. So much fun !!!😊 Not sitting around depressed and down. Yes I'm sad but I'm also Strong.
I could have handled myself better just now. But after this long, I don’t have anything to lose
The YESOUL spin bike's resistance levels are off the charts! Leisuring it up or getting my sweat on feels seamless, plus mirroring my fave cycling seshes. So stoked it's a jack-of-all-trades!
I just experienced a panic attack in a grocery store where we shopped together and then cooked meals at home. It felt like someone cut the oxygen supply. I couldn't breathe. I ran back to the car and started crying hysterically. I don't want to suppress it. I think of it as purging. The more I get it out the faster I will get over.
Anyway, I used to paint. Very therapeutic and doesn't require talent. I finally took the next step and next month I will have my very first exhibit in a local gallery. I'm going to pick up more canvas and paint and get to work. I'm also, going to work on becoming a notary, which will be useful for my work. I'm starting to feel a little glimpses of joy here and there. I still crash and cry. I love him and miss him. But, I love myself more. ❤
I would say: avoid places that remind you of them, not for ever but for now. I remember when I was in NC and in places which reminded me of them I was overwhelmed with sadness. Now ( 2 yrs after the breakup) it doesn't bother me at all😊
I hope you are doing fine🙏 i almost started crying hysterically while having a walk outside. I wish this period goes away already 😭
We broke up and went no contact 3 weeks ago. She instigated this. 4 days ago she texted to see how i am, apparently she cares. Ive known her for 35 years. Im still maintaing no contact. Im happy, relaxed, sleeping well. Do i miss her, well, after about the first 2 to 3 days, no. I can slurp my hot cofee with no complaints. Financially ill be ruined. Im gonna be homeless. Not quite, vanlife, here i come. Do i want her back. No, never, lifes to short to be unhappy. Oh BTW im 60 years old. All you young ppl, you only have one life, enjoy it, do what you want, theres plenty of fish in the sea. Youll soon learn, with women, its only your turn. For a while. Take care all, have a great adventures life. Colect experiences.
Sorry to hear this but it's not true, cause I'm a woman and in your same situation so..
Ha! I’m a woman.. and bought a camper van and living in it. It’s gonna be sweet when she reaches out! Can’t wait. But.. it has been absolute hell I must say! I too can’t sip my coffe without complaints.. I can’t wear my hair “beach messy” w/o complaints, I can’t walk outside in my PJs..w/o complaints. Definitely her loss.. not mine.
Van Life unite 🙌
I think before "hitting to the gym" people must start with eating fresh and healthy. Food really affect our emotions. If we really eat the food that is good for our body and soul, then we will start feeling good about ourselves (or at least feel a change from where we started), and then maybe only a 30 minutes excercise at home would be enough.
"Food really affect our emotions" - AMEN! Hugely important - Sugar to me is like a depressant. Pancakes = 3hrs of lethargy and depression to me
Amen x2
Indeed true, good nutrition is important for helping you survive the pain of a break up. Also you might end up looking leaner and healthier, so it is a win-win situation.
Yes 💯 fuel your body right
I lost too much weight and am very underweight now so can’t really work out til I put weight back on.
Not your fault Ken, but for me this was adding to the pain. I had to leave my dog and cat with my husband, when I had to move out after he broke up. 😢
Same....had to leave my two cats behind with her and my own dog died two month ago....
@@SFragger100 Very sorry for your loss!
My worry of no contact is her moving on quickly. Trying hard to ignore everything but with it so recent she is always on my mind
Coach Ken I just want to say thank you for your videos. You’re advice has given me a lot of hope when my emotions tell me otherwise and try to make me feel hopeless or negative in my situation. One thing that you said that will always resonate with me is “Your emotions aren’t necessarily reality but emotions can feel very real, doesn’t mean it’s true”
On my way to go full no contact. It’s challenging when you are forced to talk due to logistics. I’ve already started focusing on self development and personal growth Looking forward to soon have some common threads removed like common accounts, change of address etc. Wish me luck.
Damn if just didn't ignore those first 2 red flags i wouldn't feel like this......
Excellent content as always. Had a call with you back in August, which really helped. I don't feel any further forward in terms of getting her back, however still maintaining the strength to stay away (96 days NC) & the intensity of pain is fading. I've also got to a point where i feel a bit lost, so really needed to hear this today. I look forward to the next vid 💙
Thank you for talking about animals. After the breakup if it was not for my cats, l am not sure l'd be here.
Congratulations on your first sponsorship Ken you help lots of people you deserve it
I can't thank you enough, I wish I could send you flowers or something nice. No one has helped me like you have. Before I discovered you I never realised my add contributed so badly to my dark limerince. I'm a year and 10 months post shock breakup and I cry everyday and I've become a hollow shell of myself, I lost so many friends but still managed hang onto my job that I love and help my brother get into a good path fresh out of prison, all without the help of my boyfriend, it's so hard and scary but yeah I did gain weight and stop doing anything healthy or nice for myself except the responsibilities I have to mind my dog and cat and brother, but I'm gonna try harder and I seriously appreciate your advice and wise insights, you're saving lives and reaching a huge audience that really needs you. You should be so proud of yourself ❤
Having a dog definitely helps, my German shepherd Husky Theia has helped me through the most painful moments of NC. She always comforts me when I’m depressed or upset.
Lol...be careful. People will say you're a narcissist cause you love your dog😂
I have an Aussie that has stuck by my side...so I get it and it does help.
It sure does. My German shepherd has really helped me too. 2 months NC today.
I illustrate (lots of graphics)when not working backstage. Has a breakup in late August and started back on my children book series. Also purchased a hearpress to start my clothing line. I’m working out and lost 12 lbs. in therapy and doing a CBT program. Learning guitar. I’m doing all the cliches 😂 …Me and her have started have a little bit of time together again that goes well on basic dates. Not sure of what to do except keep doing what I’m doing. Would like to get back with her, but realize I’m doing things for myself to be dope. Not sure what to do about her and us but am liking the basic dates we do.
Hey Coach, great video. You provide a handy blueprint, on how to navigate these traumatic times. Surfing’s my escape. When I’m out on the water, especially with a few buddies, I get to refocus on what’s important in life. I’m 2 months post break up, and 7 weeks NC. No word yet, and I still hope it’s her when my phone receives a message. But hey, one day at a time.
The things that you mentioned are in no way silly. Your dog is adorable.
Ive been in No contact with my ex for 8 weeks and today she randomly just showed up at my work I was in shock and I don’t know what to do now😢
“High-five, douchebag” that made me chuckle
😂😂 ikr
How can i reattract him when i don't physically see him? How would he know that im not hyper fixated if we aren't speaking?
Mine left me about 10 days ago on a Sunday night. We were together almost 2 years. Thought this was the last guy I would ever have to be with. Didn't think this one could actually let me go. The ones in my past,Yes , but not this one. From the get go I thought God had seriously put him in my life forever. It just felt like this is the one in this is the one i've loved the most. This is a very hard time and my parents are going through hell too.. I feel.
Like I have such a burden on me.
I'm so sorry Jada - heartbreak is bad enough, but when it hits in the middle of a perfect storm is can be magnified. Stay strong!
Maverick is adorable ❤
Love Your dog is gorgeous, so lucky to have Him
I don’t know why I watch these videos
You give great advice
He isn’t going to contact Me again . When He moves on He doesn’t go back . He has broken up with rather a few Women
I’m just another one
He just keeps going and doesn’t look back
He said He knows how to avoid feelings . He turns a break up into something positive
Right now He’d be feeling relieved , convinced He has made the right decision
Time can change what feels unchangeable - and thank you so much for the kind words to Maverick - I love that dog very much - he's amazing and so sweet
😂😂 "High 5 douche Bag" classic Coach Ken humor!! Taking this Mantra to the gym!! Coming back for refresher..yep had sessions w/Coach and he's spot on..he came back 2x...just as coach described. I Gotta keep boundaries and Stay on the pedestal. Thanks Coach. If you need help, Ken is brilliant.
Thanks Cindy - glad things are going well!
Going through this pain right now. Been over a month I implemented the no contact last week on Thursday telling her that I’m not a convenience and that my wish is to be with her and I cannot be her friend. She was very defensive and failed to see my point of view… we share 2 dogs and I told her I cannot be strung along in seeing each other cause of the dogs without being able to hug kiss love her was bringing me pain
Hey Coach Ken, you are so good at this. Your videos are very therapeutic. Grateful for you😊
Love the transparency in honesty.
Great video! Was wondering if you could do another video on dealing with a BPD? Maybe about the self-destructive type this time? 🙏
Thank you Dat! Very kind of you and much appreciated
I have always liked baking and crafting along with photography.
Love your channel Coach Ken! She has reached out, then ignores me. Sucks ):.
I just want to extend my gratitude and admiration for the work you do. The way you express and form your thoughts is amazing. THANK YOU, we all need to hear this from a person as confident and intelligent as you!
Thank you so much! Humbled by your kind words
Coach what u saying is so ture it hurt so much that I just had to reach the gimnasium thanks for your help coach
Thank you Ken!!! Your the best!!!!
you are a lifesaver
How can you guys balance the pain of missing and and want them back and focus on personal growth at the same time ? I want to fully heal and enjoy my life if she comes fine , if not fine , just wanna be the person I used to be
Hey Coach Ken, been 2 months NC and i think i should deactivate my social media to really focus on myself. I still want her back but does it look petty? Im not blocked or anything just kinda wanna go radio silence
Hi coach Ken, amazing video, my ex gives me mixed signals since the beginning of September. She firstly liked a photo I posted in Instagram, and then 3 days later, she started to see my stories. She doesn't always see my stories but started to watch it a lot. Also when was on a trip, she was wearing a ring that I gave to her. 1 week ago, her father wished me luck for starting University and said would like to meet me again. Since I broke up with her, I focused more on myself, and my life is going great, but really I have been thinking for her a lot, see her in dreams, and stuff like that, but I don't think she will come back, or if she texts me, will be when I will move to Germany, close to her
I wonder what her father wants.... might be to tell you to move on, or maybe not.
@@kathyglass2922 He said to me that would like to meet me in real life :|
I don't know what I would've done without my 2 girls(dogs).
Opps!!!! Spellchecker
Thank you for all the videos you’ve made they help me keep going
Not working out for her or anything else. Love me for me. Elvis once said before one of his song " if you love me let me know if you don't then move it."
So my ex immediately got into a new relationship (or monkey branched into it), she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I didn't know about the NC thing and after 2 weeks, I asked her how she's feeling, to which she replied she's not sure and when I probed further, she told me she's having issues with her new bf and that made her miss me. Obviously I overreacted and told her if she's already having issues she should consider coming back, which was a mistake (again, didn't know about the whole NC strategy back then).
I kinda wonder though what's up with that? Why did she tell me about issues and that she misses me? Is it genuine? Is it a good sign?
And what if he is getting married now to a woman he was dating before me? He knows her for 4 years. And he was talking negative about her. Saying she is a person who steals your identity.
He knows me for 30 years and our relationship was 6 months. He was really opening up to me. And talking about some future plans.
What should I do in this case?🙏
And he closed his FB. Hasn't watched my stories in messenger for several days.
I love him so very much. I'm devastated and don't know what to do.
Any advice?🙏🙏🙏
I can not afford a 1on1, I just got out of hospital.
My ex also replaced me by someone else and we knew each other for 20 years (first a relationship of 1 year the first time we met and then another one of 3 years many years later). We were friends all in all. But now she has completely disappeared, not giving a shit about me.
After work out, How can i show my new look to my ex, if we are not friends in social media, and not living in same city ?
She left me after 10 years of relationship she told me that she has lost all the fillings for me she block from everywhere except emails its been 2months now its the third time we separated in these 10 years and she was allways the person ended up things what can i do please iv done all the mistakes begging etc texting call her i need help please i love her so much
Brother, with all respect, but this behavior....
She's for the streets..
My guy has NPD tendencies and he cried during our last conversation. I wrote him a love letter, just in case we get back together. I'm trying not to give up hope. I also wrote my feelings down if things don't work out.
As much as I want to send that love letter, I'm refraining. I don't have FB although my friends are friends of his, they won't check his page for me. I'm sure it's for my own good.
I am trying to keep myself busy, it's so very hard tho 😢
Hey coach Ken, buddy, we got to get together this week sometime. I hope you're feeling better. There's a lot that's transpired with you know who
If you want to do anything in life it requires training or preparing. Always have that in the back of your mind. Getting a brown belt in karate overnight doesnt happen. Learning japanese doesnt just happen. Landing accurate shots in archery doesnt just happen. If youre too heavy you cant just hop on a horse or skydive. Overcoming 13 years of reconstructive surgeries doesnt just happen.
It makes sense. If I could afford your advice, I would be interested getting some insight.
I saw her with somebody else after 4-5 months. She gave me some temp checks, but I was too cold and professional I guess.
This was great!!! Thanks
Thank you Terra!
Good looks are not always the most important thing. Common values and charisma are the most important, because of the energy and harmony, empathy gratitude, joy etc. If you have nothing in common good looks start to be meaningless.
Good looks are sometimes related to materialism as some say, if you look at yourself obsessively in the mirror too often, it's materialism.
It's like a commercial advertisement telling you 100 times a day that you have to always look good etc, but it's a materialistic way of thinking if you're overdoing it.
Love is energy, love is not about logic or materialism.
and love doesn't care whether you gained 3 pounds or not. because you may easily lose weight over time.
But if you are obsessed of your looks it has nothing to do with love or attractiveness.
You should rather do hobbies that make you happy and it makes you attractive.
Did no contact for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks she did find someone else. So no contact isn't always working.
Definitely does not always work - details and specifics matter but I'll also say her being with someone else in 2 weeks is weak evidence that it will never work.
That was a rebound relationship. Unless they met prior to the break up. Many factors
My guy!
Thank you Hartford!
Coach Ken ❤️
My lady friend decided she was down grading our romantic relationship to latoníc without any explanation I've been trying to do no contact I'm stuck o the probability she's gott in evolved with someone already this happened about 2 and a half months ago and we have just come back from a cruise to the islands at the end of October 2023 just want to know what brought all that about thanks
Your extreme no contact worked coach.. shes getting flustered and unhinged. Coach soon when i get money ill donate. I promise.
Do you have any insights in how many ex'es are actually reaching out again after a NC period?
Hey couch my break up occurred in this July only after that i beeled and bag and all drama by me after a week i going No contact but i seen after a month she was put a flying bird pic on her profile, i feel it was a smoke signal for me but i was not respoded her what should i do now please suggest me
🔥
Hi.
I think sometimes we realize we may have been in love with someone who has a mood disorder ?
100% - and who they are in the middle of that disorder isn't real. It isn't a reality they are capable of maintaining so we end up chasing ghost who seemed real long enough to make us believe it was the truth.
Mine… shows symptoms of undiagnosed bipolar disorder II
My bf of 8 years left to go back to his country to visit, and when he arrived, he communicated with me for the first week, then after that , no communication.. it's been 7 weeks now we haven't spoken he haven't called or text. What should I do? I tried to reach out last week and I asked him what's the status of out relationship and he said he and I are no longer in a relationship. And then later that night he messaged asking for a pic In a thongs . I told him no, because I felt used.. since then no more communication. What should I do?
Sorry for that
Watch 2 videos by Coach Lee called something like "is my ex a Narcissist" and the other video is called something like "7 things a narcissist cant feel"
Good for you not sending him the picture. That was not a love move on his part. That was a move to "use" you and show he values you very little. Send him a picture found online of an old fat man with cellulite in a thong. But do not send him your picture, ever, to him or anyone. I have known pictures show up elsewhere on thevinternet, friends or family's email, after the picture were shared with someone who swore to keep it secret.
@@hsafranifyI've watched a lot of Dr Ramani's videos on narcissism. Check em out
I love when u say "congratulations douchbag" xD indeed some feel proud to claim to not have emotions and to not been involved lol ps: about shape, I'm not a superficial person and honestly I would not care anything even if my person gains 5 kg, that's not what matters, I personally I'm UNATTRACTED by guys going to the gym! Lol, so every situation is specific, I hate guys with muscles, they look so superficial to me, I like naturally slim guys but even if they gain weight it' fine to me! It's really the inside that matters (now we're not talking of obese, that's unhealthy, but a little belly it's totally fine to me)
Your microphone blows bro....
thanks - great tact too there buddy
Hey couch my break up occurred in this July only after that i beeled and bag and all drama by me after a week i going No contact but i seen after a month she was put a flying bird pic on her profile, i feel it was a smoke signal for me but i was not respoded her what should i do now please suggest me
Don’t respond to “smoke signals” or other subtle + ambiguous behaviors. Stop looking for signs from her. Instead, focus on yourself, your growth, your healing + grieving process. Only if she initiates contact with you (phone or text) do you need to respond.
(I, too, have been in no contact since July. Yes, it is hard at times but my mind + heart have definitely shifted from the early days or weeks. Now I am not sure if I want to get back with her, and I have started casually dating other people.)