Yep you're right, that means he's the common denominator and the translation to that usually is I made otherwise sane and rational women act crazy because of the way I treated them. I finally drove them to act crazy.
@@lezel4swarts no. I had a joke with her in a jovial mood, but she was smoking pot and was quite clearly paranoid and she was insecure. Shed been at me for stuff i wasny saying or doing. Wasnt a curse just a bit of banter. Was no ill feelings intended. I just got a quirky sensebof humour and i thought she did too. I didnt know she was inside herself because she changes moods quickly. I just feel guilty. It sucks but i cant take all the blame. I guess it was time for a break. Im not a bad person. I also deserve to be treated with more respect too. Like little manipulative comments to break my spirit. Am i supposed to be an emotional support all the time? I just want to be myself without being judged from a negative point of view. There are flaws with everyone, but to be over corrected feels like i was walking on eggshells.
if he looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck he's still a fuckin duck...... A muddy one at that.... Men don't like this guy because he's puttin real women on game. Keep postin these videos cuz my ass gonna keep watchin. 💯🤘🏾
Natalie Brathwaite THESE OLD FART GREY TONE MEN WISH THEY WERE YOUNG AGAIN, SO THEY GO LOOKING FOR NAIVE AND FOOLISH WOMEN YOUNGER THAN THEIR OLDEST CHILD,. THEN THEY TRY TO MANIPULATE THEIR MINDS AND TRY TO CONTROL THEM, BUT THESE WOMEN ARE WISING UP, SO THE OLD FARTS ARE GETTING PLAYED FOR THEIR MONEY. GOOD FOR THEM, CUZ A LOT OF THEM ARE MARRIED.
Ever since I've been watching your videos, I have been more conscience about who is worth my time and how I should be treated. And these "men" do not like it. Thanks Derrick!😘
Derrick Jaxn I reconnected with my ex after 20 years I cheated on him he says he is still in love with me its been months since our meet up he lives in another state he has called me every day but we have not spent any time together is there any hope all he talks about is sex and I never see him on weekends he will skype me should i continue or walk away
Sabrina D if this guy really wants to be with u then he's going to find a way.. if all he's talking about is sex them I think u have ur answer, he's not going to come see u unless ur willing to give it up to his ass.. girl, let him go!
Girl, me, too! I had no male guidance and I'm so sad that I'm just now learning all this. Wish there were more men out here to explain this to young girls like us so they can avoid all the bull shit we went through unnecessarily!
I feel so sad for women today... when I was young and in college, it was so easy to find a good man. 1. Establish high standards. Don't give a man a moment if he is't kind. 2. Tell him what you want.... what you are use to. 3. Go to upscale venues, volunteer, take a class in finance, etc... do not go to clubs or sports bars. Also, expect to meet a great guy. Only great people will recognize great people. They are our there! I promise.
Derrick needs to go speak at high schools. I've always said that young kids need to be educated on toxic relationships , red flags and knowing their worth. Before they end up in relationships with the wrong people. We've gotta find a way to educate a HUGE MASS of the next generation on how to act right so that maybe that next generation has a fighting chance at love
And another thing, I am sick of women playing house to a man so quickly. i have seen so many women move a guy into their home so quickly and then he doesnt do anything to help. It becomes a one sided relationship where she is doing all the work and he is doing nothing in return.
Years ago my daughters father put his hands on me and said he didn't put his hands on me a day later. I told him he put his hands on me again we gonna have a problem. That was a red flag. The next time we argued he threw something at a wall and put a hole in it. When he did that i said i don't understand where all this anger is coming from but it needs to be checked. I also told him that men like him should think twice about putting their hands on a female that they live with. He said "why?" I said becayse eventually u havr to sleep. There was at least three times he put his hands on me. The third time was the last time. That day he pushed me down on a couch i told him i was out before i catch a case for murder and i never looked back.I don't understand why guys feel they can put there hands on a female. For 6 years after that he kept trying to holla back at me and i still refuse to look back. I hate abusers and when i see i will quickly jump to the rescue of the victim. Because i know what it is like to be in that tyoe of relationship. I was woke and remain woke. I never sat back and justblet a man beat me. I akways fought back and eventually left my abuser. Sad part is i have a kid with him. I have not had contact with him in 5 yrs. My daughter still has contact with him. I told her if she wants to meet him i will drop her off but he does not know where i love to this day.
Red Flags are in the communication because if a lot people would pay attention to conversations and actions. They would know to keep them in a friend zone or just realize they not for them. In communication something always slips.
Derrick, I don't see this red flag on any of your videos and this is the biggest one: If a man ghosts a woman during the holiday season or you can just never seem to nail him down on a major holiday he is MARRIED or LIVING WITH somebody or has an extremely controlling mother.
So here is the Golden rule in relationships: "WE teach people how to treat us." We do this. Become mindful of the interactions not just with others but with one's self. Is it easy? Nope. For truly "Relationships are the art of living." Hope this helps someone as much as it has helped me.
I wish I had your videos years ago. I could have saved myself so much heartache and pain. You're the big brother I always needed. Notification squad for life!!!😀😁😍😘
True!! Like you said when he tries to test your temperature "burn him"! I had a guy send me a message calling me a jerk in a real rude way...saying that's how he jokes around. I didn't think it was funny. I checked him and haven't heard from him since. I'm not anyone's experiment. #TeamJaxn
Realest video ever 👏🏾👏🏾 Ladies, a lot of times we tend to put up with the MOST for these selfish ass dudes thinking that one day they’ll “change” or “appreciate” you. If you start seeing red flags like these specially early in the relationship- Leave!!! it will ONLY get WORSE. These are narcissist tendencies. They never change.
I honestly never felt I deserved more than what I got, I saw all the red flags and then I end up getting hurt even more. I'm trying to work on my confidence
I have a question. It seems these days men act like they are the prize and not the woman. They expect women to work hard to be with them. I have run into lots of men like this from ages of twenties into their late forties. I stay single due meeting men like this. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I'm 36 and I totally feel where ur coming from.....they be having u buying them dinner and wooing them....lol....like is this what a hot out here nowadays?? lol nah I ain't falling for the ookie-doke....lol...not the kid
Catrice McGlothin it is.....the bad thing is the men that are in are age group doing what the young brothers doing....it's like where the grown men at...?
SheBoutDatCurlyLife Johnson , I don't know where the grown men are. I have dealt with some young guys and I'm not going for it. I'm the prize, it takes one conversation to realize they believe women should cater to them. I tell them as long as they make plastic dicks and batteries, I'm good! Lol
A narcissist will always show themselves from the very beginning. If you're not aware of their manipulation, like I wasn't 40 years ago, you're in for hell... Their toxic games are dangerous... Thank you for your video!🌹
I feel more at peace than ever! I was in such a bad place in my life three years ago. I remembering watching this video at night crying so much on how I can get out of such a toxic relationship.
I admit I played a fool more than once & now, I have no cut cards. I don't do textationships & I won't text a guy back if I feel he only text me in order for me to boost his ego. Such as a "good morning" text every day & not once do I ever see him again...DEAD!!! His first impression is his last impression! "The smoke before the fire!"
I ignored the red flags because I thought my baby daddy was joking. now? I'm paying a high price. stuck dealing with his manipulative ass because we share a kid.
this is so true but the sad part is married this kind of dude. I can ask him to play a game with me this dude will pass me clean up and go next door and play with them actions always speak louder than words. It's a sad day when your expectations of your husband is to know you ain't shit to him.
I dated someone over 8 yrs younger then me, and he would constantly make jokes about our age difference or say something like " hey I know you're getting up there in age..." I moved one red flag too slow... 😞
Beca Snowflake Talking about your age if he’s younger than you one of the biggest reg flag. That means it matters to him. And boy oh boy you’re not gonna stop hearing about it.
Just immature....try being exactly 1yr older same dob...literally 1 year apart....but hearing how you're older than them you this you that I cut that ish out real fast
That would irritate the mess out of me. You should throw the fact that he is younger back in his face but do it casually as he does. Trust me, no man wants to be labeled as young. Because it screams immature in alot of cases.
after watching derricks vids, I have developed such a hatred for Fboys and no tolerance for any kind of games what so ever. This is the mentality I have always wanted to have, but too weak to develop, until I found Derricks channel. This man is a blessing!
You are amazing. Please keep recording. Nobody else that i have seen tells it as it needs to be said. You are strength. Most "men" are probably terrified watching this. but you are strength for women in a way that the world so desperately needs. You are one of a kind, fearless, and i appreciate you.
All of these redflags..my ex! I should a known in the beginning..5 years of pure hell, disrespect, verbal, emotional, physical and even financial abuse. We gotta pay attention ladies!
Man you are Mr Wonderful!!! Wish we had someone like you back in the day. Because a lot if us went through "HELL" with life teachings. You are a blessing to the women of today!!!
Amen. All that s@$! happened to me. Stuff I brushed off ended up being s@$! I ended up having to check. Lil "jabs", saying indirect offensive things. Expecting me to change for him then constantly bitch like i wasn't changing fast enough. Not about something that was vital to our relationship, but something he felt I should do for him personally. Look up "narcissist". If that describes your partner, it won't get better. He's going to show and tell you the type of he his. Pay attention. Pay attention to how he treats his inner circle too. If he talks s@$! & treats them f'd up, that's how he'll treat you when he's comfortable with himself. Don't let it go or your going to eventually let him go. It might happen anyway. Better sooner then later before to much damage is done.
Nikia Harris real talk....wants u to change first then they will change thats another game and now i seen this video its opened my eyes i am loving myself more to just let it go so i can grow
Nikia Harris real talk....wants u to change first then they will change thats another game and now i seen this video its opened my eyes i am loving myself more to just let it go so i can grow
My ex made fun of the arm fat i had or the fact I had a few worry lines saying I was getting old or said the part in my hair looked like I had a bald spot but I wasn't he was just teasing being mean it really hurt my feelings made me cry then said I can't believe you are so sensitive but we broke up not to long after that I realized he wasn't the one for me
I just ended something with someone that was redflagging it all over the place and everything Derrick said is SO TRUE!!!! I am so thankful for You Derrick and what you stand for, I appreciate you.
There's this book called "Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man" the common denominator with all women were that these were given red yellow and purple flags. Smh they could have all prevented these men's bs.
I been watchin your videos since my divorce 2 years ago. Not only have you help me heal but understand a man's mind. I stay woke. I watch and listen closely when I'm dating. And I hear your words in the back of my head. The red flags have helped stay away from men that are def not for me. Thank you so much. You should have your own talk show. I couldn't have come this far without your advice. And you good lookin too! Sending much love man, I'm grateful for people like you. 🤙❤
11. DISRESPECTING THE CHILD'S/CHILDREN'S MOTHER.... I do not have children at this time, BUT if she is Bitches and Hoes; it won't be long before he starts redirecting those name.
Amen Amen AMEN!! I can identify to this of man with past relationships. I seen and felt the red flags and stayed seated because my Ignorant eyes and heart thought he would see the "good" in me. He would change. I'm apologizing to myself. To stay in a foolish toxic relationship is downright criminal.
"The test dummy"...I'm dead! Too much to quote but on point as usual. Defiitely lots of ducks that look like swans out here! I thank God I'm not single because I couldn't imagine dating in this day and age
Right i learn this from Pastor RC Blake. Do not date but find out data on them first.And find out if they or for real or wasting your time. Do not give them sex watch them how they talk and treat you around others. Do not chase them or waste your time on them if there not putting god first before you or anybody else.
I operate tit for tat. I wait to see what he is doing before I continue. Saying sorry does not cure the pain caused. Doing the right thing does and not doing the wrong thing again.
SweetLady095 Right! Then try and manipulate you knowing dang on well they know exactly what you are talking about. They just trying to see if you'll let it go or will feel so bad you will apologize and accept it too!!
Hi THANK YOU SO MUCH! I wish I'd seen this sooner. The guy I love is in prison and NOT ONLY did his gratification turn into expectation he made more excuses for his narcissistic ways and his family's rude and dysfunctional behavior than appreciating ME. I HATE we ended 25 yrs.of friendship for a 1 way 2 yr. entanglement but I can DO BAD ALL by MYSELF.
That same thing that guy did to your friend happened to me. A guy tried to test me with not paying when he took me out. I walked out the restaurant. He followed me all the way back to my house crying that he is sorry. I never called him again. Derrick said something that is very important. When a guy see that you will put up with anything expect minimum respect. Thank you brother for this powerful advice.
I ignored all these flags for too long. When I finally opened my eyes and set myself free from that relationship, I recognized my worth, not only as a human being, a strong black woman but also as example to my children. I have never been happier and refuse to turn a blind eye to the bullshyt.
Been there done that... I will never take in another stray again. I play no games that why I get bombarded w/Blk women stereotypes... The positive black men that influence other black men to do right., thanks. And the ones that take a longer time to walk right I pray prayer helps them change sooner than later.
Ladies, if you are concerned about something that is weird in a relationship and a guy tells you that he can't believe you would take something so seriously, walk away. You have every right to question something that makes you uncomfortable.
and most guys do this really, they just might not say bitch or Hoe however, so I get on them as well...and even though the derogatory words weren't used but the slick talk still was there. everything is a joke...and some women are just laughing away...
Yes great advice for the women, Thank you. : - ) Now please advise men to stop putting us through so many games. I do not have time to constantly monitor and/or supervise the actions of grown men. (it makes me feel like I am running a daycare center while trying to be in a relationship with a man child) I do not have to take responsibility for their actions, they are perfectly capable of taking responsibility for their own drama and game playing.
I have listened to you for awhile now. But the message today resonated so deep within my spirit. Thank you for great word coming from a black man. God Bless
Can I hit the like button more than one time??? OMG, this shyt was dead on the money, just got to find me a way out, I'm tired of giving, and getting nothing in return. It's definitely a damn DUCK!!
I love your videos, I have two teenage daughters and we watch your videos together, some of these boys (not real men) out there these days are disgusting disappointments and I'm forever telling my girls to value themselves and that we teach people how to treat us. I have learned so much from your words of wisdom too, I wish I could have you come into their school and speak to the boys as well as the girls, and teach them to value themselves, we def need to go back to basics. Much love to you and thank you .
Yup just left my relationship of a little over 1 year with a guy that was 10 years older than me (me 20, him 30) done with excuses, no trust, and the manipulation
I watch you literally to laugh and say hell yea. I tell girls the same thing. Like really is love that blind y'all? People just don't want to see the truth
ahahahaaaha cryn😂😂😂😂..derrick you be on it.. however most of that wackass shit don't come until you're in deep.. i see it now i guess thats why they say hindsight is 20/20. btw a swan is a duck he just pretty.. i love you man..
I'm willing to stay single for the rest of my life if i can't find someone to treat me right. I'm not desperate.
Ase.
Me too friend its not easy but worth it for my peace. And not to be lied too. BLESS. U God's got something good for us.
Single since 27 and lnow at 57..loving it..more than ever...
Say that again
Live your life like it's golden girllllll! That's what I'm doing!!
1 red flag: when he talks bad about the women in his life like his ex(s) if he says they’re all crazy, RUN he’s the crazy one!!
Lesson learned
......That part
Yep you're right, that means he's the common denominator and the translation to that usually is I made otherwise sane and rational women act crazy because of the way I treated them. I finally drove them to act crazy.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
And young Ladies, please stop letting 'no good' men drop you off at work in your vehicle! You can do better!
hahahaha☻☻☻2
EvonDee and drive all the gas out ridin his friends around with they outta work asses
If he isn't paying or helping pay the insurance... STOP IT!
I call um house husbands! they be lined up after work like dropping off/picking up kids at school!
Yes, all THIS! Stop it!
Ladies, if a guy curses at you, even if he claims he is joking, recognize a lack of respect, and stand up for what you deserve.
Yes, and ladies if you man does that, he may only had enough of your shit but just doesnt have the guts to tell you to leave.
@@pualo9263 clearly you don't get it.... But you sound like someone she's talking about.....
@@lezel4swarts no. I had a joke with her in a jovial mood, but she was smoking pot and was quite clearly paranoid and she was insecure. Shed been at me for stuff i wasny saying or doing. Wasnt a curse just a bit of banter. Was no ill feelings intended. I just got a quirky sensebof humour and i thought she did too. I didnt know she was inside herself because she changes moods quickly. I just feel guilty. It sucks but i cant take all the blame. I guess it was time for a break. Im not a bad person. I also deserve to be treated with more respect too. Like little manipulative comments to break my spirit. Am i supposed to be an emotional support all the time? I just want to be myself without being judged from a negative point of view.
There are flaws with everyone, but to be over corrected feels like i was walking on eggshells.
if he looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck he's still a fuckin duck...... A muddy one at that.... Men don't like this guy because he's puttin real women on game. Keep postin these videos cuz my ass gonna keep watchin. 💯🤘🏾
And if your ass keep watching you gone see my ass do a lot more videos✊☺
+Derrick Jaxn lol
Derrick Jaxn AYYYYYYYEEE!!
Me 2...#DerrickJaxn👍👍
lol
Mental games. Even older dudes do it. Such a waste of time
Natalie Brathwaite The old fools is the worst,they like to hear they self talk,cause nobody else is listening,lol
+Deborah Hardsway Yes!!! I was just asking myself why I always date older guys when they treat me badly. Older guys are the worst!!
its a shame that older men do it.
Natalie Brathwaite THESE OLD FART GREY TONE MEN WISH THEY WERE YOUNG AGAIN, SO THEY GO LOOKING FOR NAIVE AND FOOLISH WOMEN YOUNGER THAN THEIR OLDEST CHILD,. THEN THEY TRY TO MANIPULATE THEIR MINDS AND TRY TO CONTROL THEM, BUT THESE WOMEN ARE WISING UP, SO THE OLD FARTS ARE GETTING PLAYED FOR THEIR MONEY. GOOD FOR THEM, CUZ A LOT OF THEM ARE MARRIED.
SUN SHINE 😂😂😂 True
When he says I love u and doesn't know u
Yessssssss this one
Boy bye... 🤫 Hush. You just want booty
Yep. My ex said it 10 days in!!!!
Ever since I've been watching your videos, I have been more conscience about who is worth my time and how I should be treated. And these "men" do not like it. Thanks Derrick!😘
+Sabrina D A real one is going to respect you more for your growth. Thank you for watching✊☺
Derrick Jaxn MESSAGE!!!!! I'm loving these vids....
Derrick Jaxn I reconnected with my ex after 20 years I cheated on him he says he is still in love with me its been months since our meet up he lives in another state he has called me every day but we have not spent any time together is there any hope all he talks about is sex and I never see him on weekends he will skype me should i continue or walk away
Sabrina D if this guy really wants to be with u then he's going to find a way.. if all he's talking about is sex them I think u have ur answer, he's not going to come see u unless ur willing to give it up to his ass.. girl, let him go!
WORD!
So many years lost. Was so naive. Not anymore! Thank u Derrick!!
+Lychelle H. We all been there. You welcome luv😊
Girl, me, too! I had no male guidance and I'm so sad that I'm just now learning all this. Wish there were more men out here to explain this to young girls like us so they can avoid all the bull shit we went through unnecessarily!
Derrick Jaxn hi derrick what should I do when someone you don't want becomes obsessed need your help thank you so much 😊
9 years yall
Me too! At least we know not to make the same mistake again✊
I feel so sad for women today... when I was young and in college, it was so easy to find a good man. 1. Establish high standards. Don't give a man a moment if he is't kind. 2. Tell him what you want.... what you are use to. 3. Go to upscale venues, volunteer, take a class in finance, etc... do not go to clubs or sports bars. Also, expect to meet a great guy. Only great people will recognize great people. They are our there! I promise.
I'm starting to think going to church would be the best bet lol
UA-camTV church men be the worst though deep down
@@adorekay434 for real though.
All of this
@@youtubetv9988 be careful though. Even some of those men are snakes in the grass so to speak.
Very true. Had I listened to my instincts I would've saved myself from almost 4 years of heartache. Lesson definitely learned.
Jia Thompson YOU ARE LUCKY, I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF FROM 30 YEARS OF HEARTBREAK, A FOOL LIKE ME. I WISED UP, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER😬
I can attest to that as well. TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT. And go SLOW.
Me too. But I’m recovering
Derrick needs to go speak at high schools. I've always said that young kids need to be educated on toxic relationships , red flags and knowing their worth. Before they end up in relationships with the wrong people. We've gotta find a way to educate a HUGE MASS of the next generation on how to act right so that maybe that next generation has a fighting chance at love
And another thing, I am sick of women playing house to a man so quickly. i have seen so many women move a guy into their home so quickly and then he doesnt do anything to help. It becomes a one sided relationship where she is doing all the work and he is doing nothing in return.
We broke guys lay the best pipe😂
LOL! ..Yeah that's TRUE!! Probably because broke niggas don't have shit to offer so they gotta compensate for their lack somewhere! LOL 😆
@Orange Blossom girl bye
Those men are called hobosexuals lol beware
@Orange Blossom l so so true, I brought a guy over for the first time and he said " I'ma take a shower when I get home, i said " home? Lol
Years ago my daughters father put his hands on me and said he didn't put his hands on me a day later. I told him he put his hands on me again we gonna have a problem. That was a red flag. The next time we argued he threw something at a wall and put a hole in it. When he did that i said i don't understand where all this anger is coming from but it needs to be checked. I also told him that men like him should think twice about putting their hands on a female that they live with. He said "why?" I said becayse eventually u havr to sleep. There was at least three times he put his hands on me. The third time was the last time. That day he pushed me down on a couch i told him i was out before i catch a case for murder and i never looked back.I don't understand why guys feel they can put there hands on a female. For 6 years after that he kept trying to holla back at me and i still refuse to look back. I hate abusers and when i see i will quickly jump to the rescue of the victim. Because i know what it is like to be in that tyoe of relationship. I was woke and remain woke. I never sat back and justblet a man beat me. I akways fought back and eventually left my abuser. Sad part is i have a kid with him. I have not had contact with him in 5 yrs. My daughter still has contact with him. I told her if she wants to meet him i will drop her off but he does not know where i love to this day.
Red Flags are in the communication because if a lot people would pay attention to conversations and actions. They would know to keep them in a friend zone or just realize they not for them. In communication something always slips.
Girl yessss! Sometimes its not what is said but how. The truth is found when reading between the lines.
LaTisha Smith this is very very true!! True.. content and type of communication
Yes at the beginning even. They want to test you to see if they will be able to play games with you or not. They want to see where you stand
Derrick, I don't see this red flag on any of your videos and this is the biggest one: If a man ghosts a woman during the holiday season or you can just never seem to nail him down on a major holiday he is MARRIED or LIVING WITH somebody or has an extremely controlling mother.
The mother part made me laugh.. Nice
So here is the Golden rule in relationships: "WE teach people how to treat us." We do this. Become mindful of the interactions not just with others but with one's self. Is it easy? Nope.
For truly "Relationships are the art of living." Hope this helps someone as much as it has helped me.
I wish I had your videos years ago. I could have saved myself so much heartache and pain. You're the big brother I always needed. Notification squad for life!!!😀😁😍😘
Ruby White Same here.😊Thank You Derrick.👊🏽
👏👏👏👏👏So true, stay woke ladies.
a lalascottie wOrd!
Well how do you feel now?
As the bible says, "Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and tear you in pieces."
True!! Like you said when he tries to test your temperature "burn him"! I had a guy send me a message calling me a jerk in a real rude way...saying that's how he jokes around. I didn't think it was funny. I checked him and haven't heard from him since. I'm not anyone's experiment. #TeamJaxn
"He may be a swan, but if he got duck tendencies, he's still a f*ckin duck." 😂🤣
LOLOLOLOL!!! Swan with Duck tendencies! Sorry Mr Jaxn...you are for REAL!
Realest video ever 👏🏾👏🏾 Ladies, a lot of times we tend to put up with the MOST for these selfish ass dudes thinking that one day they’ll “change” or “appreciate” you. If you start seeing red flags like these specially early in the relationship- Leave!!! it will ONLY get WORSE. These are narcissist tendencies. They never change.
I honestly never felt I deserved more than what I got, I saw all the red flags and then I end up getting hurt even more. I'm trying to work on my confidence
I have a question. It seems these days men act like they are the prize and not the woman. They expect women to work hard to be with them. I have run into lots of men like this from ages of twenties into their late forties. I stay single due meeting men like this. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I'm 36 and I totally feel where ur coming from.....they be having u buying them dinner and wooing them....lol....like is this what a hot out here nowadays?? lol nah I ain't falling for the ookie-doke....lol...not the kid
SheBoutDatCurlyLife Johnson , I'm 36 too! Is it this generation?
Catrice McGlothin it is.....the bad thing is the men that are in are age group doing what the young brothers doing....it's like where the grown men at...?
SheBoutDatCurlyLife Johnson , I don't know where the grown men are. I have dealt with some young guys and I'm not going for it. I'm the prize, it takes one conversation to realize they believe women should cater to them. I tell them as long as they make plastic dicks and batteries, I'm good! Lol
Catrice McGlothin lmao.....😂😂😂
A narcissist will always show themselves from the very beginning. If you're not aware of their manipulation, like I wasn't 40 years ago, you're in for hell... Their toxic games are dangerous... Thank you for your video!🌹
thank you. im crying right now because 98% of what you said is all true... thank you.
@Aruba Aysha thank you 💛
I feel more at peace than ever!
I was in such a bad place in my life three years ago. I remembering watching this video at night crying so much on how I can get out of such a toxic relationship.
@Aruba Aysha thank you so much for your kind words!! That means the world to me. I'll be following you on youtube!
I admit I played a fool more than once & now, I have no cut cards. I don't do textationships & I won't text a guy back if I feel he only text me in order for me to boost his ego. Such as a "good morning" text every day & not once do I ever see him again...DEAD!!! His first impression is his last impression! "The smoke before the fire!"
Crowned Virgo agreed on all fronts!!
I been thru similar situations, and I dont do no ego boosting unless I know for a 100 percent fact that he is worthy to give an ego boost.
Yo king, you got me checkin myself, I appreciate it!!!
All ways right
Stop simping go mgtow
OMG!!!! The last part about a man taking the blame just to end the convo. That irritates me so much.
"He may look like a swan to you, but if he got duck tendencies...?" Lmao! You're great :) Thank you.
I ignored the red flags because I thought my baby daddy was joking. now? I'm paying a high price. stuck dealing with his manipulative ass because we share a kid.
Guuuuuurl i feel ur pain im in same boat lord be with us
Try a dude that never says thank you to you. Or never pays you any, and do mean ANY compliments. Other men will, but not him. 🤔😱
this is so true but the sad part is married this kind of dude. I can ask him to play a game with me this dude will pass me clean up and go next door and play with them
actions always speak louder than words. It's a sad day when your expectations of your husband is to know you ain't shit to him.
I dated someone over 8 yrs younger then me, and he would constantly make jokes about our age difference or say something like " hey I know you're getting up there in age..." I moved one red flag too slow... 😞
Beca Snowflake Talking about your age if he’s younger than you one of the biggest reg flag. That means it matters to him. And boy oh boy you’re not gonna stop hearing about it.
Lol y'all shallow
It's just reality tho
@@RJ12347 yeah but he's joking about it like it's smth funny or bad and thats the issue smarty
Just immature....try being exactly 1yr older same dob...literally 1 year apart....but hearing how you're older than them you this you that
I cut that ish out real fast
That would irritate the mess out of me. You should throw the fact that he is younger back in his face but do it casually as he does. Trust me, no man wants to be labeled as young. Because it screams immature in alot of cases.
My best friend needs to see this video. Real talk, I'm married and can still take something from this is video as well.
This is very true.......and ladies run...
after watching derricks vids, I have developed such a hatred for Fboys and no tolerance for any kind of games what so ever. This is the mentality I have always wanted to have, but too weak to develop, until I found Derricks channel. This man is a blessing!
You are amazing. Please keep recording. Nobody else that i have seen tells it as it needs to be said. You are strength. Most "men" are probably terrified watching this. but you are strength for women in a way that the world so desperately needs. You are one of a kind, fearless, and i appreciate you.
All of these redflags..my ex! I should a known in the beginning..5 years of pure hell, disrespect, verbal, emotional, physical and even financial abuse. We gotta pay attention ladies!
This aged well
Man you are Mr Wonderful!!! Wish we had someone like you back in the day. Because a lot if us went through "HELL" with life teachings. You are a blessing to the women of today!!!
The way Derrick says these words. It is hilarious and truthful all in one!! 👍🏽
You need to write a book if you haven't already...so much wisdom!
Amen ... Just lost a damn duck this past week .. Hasta la vista Baby! W your Male Ho self
Amen. All that s@$! happened to me. Stuff I brushed off ended up being s@$! I ended up having to check. Lil "jabs", saying indirect offensive things. Expecting me to change for him then constantly bitch like i wasn't changing fast enough. Not about something that was vital to our relationship, but something he felt I should do for him personally. Look up "narcissist". If that describes your partner, it won't get better. He's going to show and tell you the type of he his. Pay attention. Pay attention to how he treats his inner circle too. If he talks s@$! & treats them f'd up, that's how he'll treat you when he's comfortable with himself. Don't let it go or your going to eventually let him go. It might happen anyway. Better sooner then later before to much damage is done.
Nikia Harris real talk....wants u to change first then they will change thats another game and now i seen this video its opened my eyes i am loving myself more to just let it go so i can grow
Nikia Harris real talk....wants u to change first then they will change thats another game and now i seen this video its opened my eyes i am loving myself more to just let it go so i can grow
My ex made fun of the arm fat i had or the fact I had a few worry lines saying I was getting old or said the part in my hair looked like I had a bald spot but I wasn't he was just teasing being mean it really hurt my feelings made me cry then said I can't believe you are so sensitive but we broke up not to long after that I realized he wasn't the one for me
I just ended something with someone that was redflagging it all over the place and everything Derrick said is SO TRUE!!!! I am so thankful for You Derrick and what you stand for, I appreciate you.
you just talked about what I was going through, I look for the red flags now and doing back ground check!!!!
There's this book called "Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man" the common denominator with all women were that these were given red yellow and purple flags. Smh they could have all prevented these men's bs.
i wanna read that book...
JoAnne Hall It's a good read
I been watchin your videos since my divorce 2 years ago. Not only have you help me heal but understand a man's mind. I stay woke. I watch and listen closely when I'm dating. And I hear your words in the back of my head. The red flags have helped stay away from men that are def not for me. Thank you so much. You should have your own talk show. I couldn't have come this far without your advice. And you good lookin too! Sending much love man, I'm grateful for people like you. 🤙❤
The reason why i like your videos is because you tell it straight, no sugar coating, wish more people were like you, well done.
i swear you know my ex
mine too
Olimata Kah mine three
Anínesah Rodriguez mine four
Mine five lol
Same among the others
11. DISRESPECTING THE CHILD'S/CHILDREN'S MOTHER.... I do not have children at this time, BUT if she is Bitches and Hoes; it won't be long before he starts redirecting those name.
Amen Amen AMEN!! I can identify to this of man with past relationships. I seen and felt the red flags and stayed seated because my Ignorant eyes and heart thought he would see the "good" in me. He would change. I'm apologizing to myself. To stay in a foolish toxic relationship is downright criminal.
"The test dummy"...I'm dead! Too much to quote but on point as usual. Defiitely lots of ducks that look like swans out here! I thank God I'm not single because I couldn't imagine dating in this day and age
Not all men are gamers . Just date for data and don’t give too much wen dating ,heis not your husband.
"Date for data" that's good advice
Right i learn this from Pastor RC Blake. Do not date but find out data on them first.And find out if they or for real or wasting your time. Do not give them sex watch them how they talk and treat you around others. Do not chase them or waste your time on them if there not putting god first before you or anybody else.
I operate tit for tat. I wait to see what he is doing before I continue. Saying sorry does not cure the pain caused. Doing the right thing does and not doing the wrong thing again.
"Quack"! Well said! I 100% agree! Thank you Derrick! You just saved me from a hell of a lot of grief!
This man telling the absolute truth, once a man knows he can mistreat you, he will keep doing it. It never ends well for either person!!!!!
Where the food at? Whatever he cooks is where the food at. I cook but only for the right one.
I wish I would have known this when I was younger
He probably wasn't born yet loretta
Derrick Jaxn I fuckin love you!!! Wisdom from the male perspective...very much needed and appreciated.
Keep schooling us sweetie ..very much appreciated
Ok now!!! I felt this message so much I had to watch agin!!!!
I recently had to point out red flag to a prospective interest and of course he claimed he did not understand my concern. Smh.
They will always say that! lol
LOL.. They never understand. When they say they don't understand, that's your cue to stop taking their calls and going out with them.
SweetLady095 Right! Then try and manipulate you knowing dang on well they know exactly what you are talking about. They just trying to see if you'll let it go or will feel so bad you will apologize and accept it too!!
Joy AS WOMEN WE HAVE TO STOP GIVE THEM MEN A PASS OWN UP TO THERE SHIT SIMPLE AS THAT KEEP MOVE TIME FOR NO SENSE
PERIOD STAY FIRM!!!
Hi THANK YOU SO MUCH! I wish I'd seen this sooner. The guy I love is in prison and NOT ONLY did his gratification turn into expectation he made more excuses for his narcissistic ways and his family's rude and dysfunctional behavior than appreciating ME. I HATE we ended 25 yrs.of friendship for a 1 way 2 yr. entanglement but I can DO BAD ALL by MYSELF.
That same thing that guy did to your friend happened to me. A guy tried to test me with not paying when he took me out. I walked out the restaurant. He followed me all the way back to my house crying that he is sorry. I never called him again. Derrick said something that is very important. When a guy see that you will put up with anything expect minimum respect. Thank you brother for this powerful advice.
I ignored all these flags for too long. When I finally opened my eyes and set myself free from that relationship, I recognized my worth, not only as a human being, a strong black woman but also as example to my children. I have never been happier and refuse to turn a blind eye to the bullshyt.
I agree, feel the same way. It makes you feel better overall, and we set a good example for our kids. Thats whats most important.
Derrick, can we just get married already?
Lol I don't think hes single, hun.
Snicker Doodle right he too uh wee
Lol he’s married and also has made it clear he would never mess with any of his subscribers🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
You gotta share him with the rest of us. We all need a Jaxn in our lives golly!!!
Girllll I want this with him too lol
Just discovered your Chanel & I'm floored by your truths! Amen. Brother!
Amen...so true...keep preaching. I am so blessed to have came across you and now that I'm listening I can't stop😀
Been there done that... I will never take in another stray again. I play no games that why I get bombarded w/Blk women stereotypes... The positive black men that influence other black men to do right., thanks. And the ones that take a longer time to walk right I pray prayer helps them change sooner than later.
Listen for the quack quack ladies
A gorgeous man giving out the best advice...I’m hooked
Ladies, if you are concerned about something that is weird in a relationship and a guy tells you that he can't believe you would take something so seriously, walk away. You have every right to question something that makes you uncomfortable.
and most guys do this really, they just might not say bitch or Hoe however, so I get on them as well...and even though the derogatory words weren't used but the slick talk still was there. everything is a joke...and some women are just laughing away...
JoAnne Hall only way i call a girl a bitch she do me wrong
The last one I dated that joked and called me a Ho, well we ain't dating anymore and I let him know right fast I wasn't his Ho or anyone else's
Need a part 2.
Sir I like you!! YOU ARE STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, no dramas 👏👏👏👏
OMG. 😱 You are speaking the absolute truth!
Yes great advice for the women, Thank you. : - )
Now please advise men to stop putting us through so many games. I do not have time to constantly monitor and/or supervise the actions of grown men. (it makes me feel like I am running a daycare center while trying to be in a relationship with a man child) I do not have to take responsibility for their actions, they are perfectly capable of taking responsibility for their own drama and game playing.
Boom!... Found out the hard way. There is no fool, like a stupid fool.
I have listened to you for awhile now. But the message today resonated so deep within my spirit. Thank you for great word coming from a black man. God Bless
You are so funny and good. I'm a 54 year old woman married twice and still need to hear this stuff. Love it.
Can I hit the like button more than one time??? OMG, this shyt was dead on the money, just got to find me a way out, I'm tired of giving, and getting nothing in return. It's definitely a damn DUCK!!
Love his T-Shirts!!
I love your videos, I have two teenage daughters and we watch your videos together, some of these boys (not real men) out there these days are disgusting disappointments and I'm forever telling my girls to value themselves and that we teach people how to treat us. I have learned so much from your words of wisdom too, I wish I could have you come into their school and speak to the boys as well as the girls, and teach them to value themselves, we def need to go back to basics. Much love to you and thank you .
Yup just left my relationship of a little over 1 year with a guy that was 10 years older than me (me 20, him 30) done with excuses, no trust, and the manipulation
I watch you literally to laugh and say hell yea. I tell girls the same thing. Like really is love that blind y'all? People just don't want to see the truth
No but loyalty is.
Red flags
1. He's Derrick Jaxn
I am just going to brainwash myself with Derrick Jaxn's advice because I'm tired of bs and this IS coming from a fine brother who has it together. Ijs
I just went through this. Now I'm allowing him to do what he does best.
Thank you for that advice coming from a man. Us women need to hear that.
Yes that's that bullshit boys spit! It's time for a brotha to vacate, exit stage left, get on. #notafraidtobebymyself
sometimes you know what you need to do but you just need to hear it from someone else.....thank you.....you da realest
I just love the way he continues to keep it real...CONSISTENCY is key! and it exist with every word spoken.
Please expand on the b.s. con artist. What is this about? Also how ride or die is a hood gimmick. Thx.
ahahahaaaha cryn😂😂😂😂..derrick you be on it..
however most of that wackass shit don't come until you're in deep.. i see it now i guess thats why they say hindsight is 20/20.
btw a swan is a duck he just pretty.. i love you man..
Definitely been following the wrong "relationship guru" on IG...But no longer! Thanks Derrick!! 🤗
Yes Derrick keep educating these ladies about the truth about these f**k boy's 💯🎯 know the difference between a 🧑boy and a King 🤴