Bang on. I've had strangers open up to me in the grocery store for ex. Several times. As if I have a sticker on my coat that says 'tell me all your troubles'. But I genuinely care about people, so I don't mind. Hopefully they are comforted or encouraged.
Random people opening up to me is something that happens to me literally all of the time. People often tell me that I have the oddest assortment of friends and acquaintances. To me, it's not odd at all. I'll become friends with almost anyone if I get the sense that they are genuinely a good person inside. Plus I love listening to people's stories and perspectives, especially when I can feel their emotions. I have a terrible time remembering things i should, but if I were to run into any of the random people that I have had random conversations with where I felt their emotions, I could easily remember every detail and could talk to them for hours about it. I don't like crowds much, but 1-1 conversations, those are my jam.
@ShadowSong634 Me too. Just got into a fight with my husband on a long trip back from an out-of-state wedding. I met my birth mother at this event and it didn't go well. I'm pouring my heart out and my husband is saying things like "Oh, look at how high the corn has grown" and "see how windy it is?" I finally blew up at him and said he was being an ah and he said I'm just trying get your mind onto something else!
@@forapps9364 I feel for you. Marriage can be so hard sometimes, especially after the stressful event you attended. Just this morning I tried to talk to my husband about a book I am reading, and all he wanted to do was talk statistics about my reading speed and how it is calculated. Read the room buddy. Anyway, I am sending positive thoughts to you, and just "hang in there". Sometimes it's all we can do.
Does anyone else feel like it's their lot in life to be either... 1. Narc magnet 2. Devastatingly misunderstood 3.Alone in life (in every aspect romantic and platonic) 4. A punching bag for malcontented persons 5. An absolute failure by the measures of the world Lately, I've just vacillated between active and passive suicidal idealation
I can relate to those bullet points. Please take the time to talk to a mental health professional or trusted person in your life. It makes me sad that you are struggling. Keep going!
I can relate to most of this. If I hadn't let Jesus into my life when I was 17, I don't think I would have lived past 20. I had a boyfriend who was a toxic controller, a serious narcissist, when I was 17, got married to a man who was not as bad as the boyfriend, but turned out to be an alcoholic and adulterer. He left me when I told him to go to AA. I was devastated, had a nervous breakdown and wanted to die, but Jesus got me through that. I grew a lot from the experience and it released creativity. I started to write poetry when I went through that and have written some real epics since then. I have been single for the last 38 years, no boyfriends at all, and life has been much more peaceful because of it. Could not have done it without Jesus, though. Because of Him, I am not lonely because I am never alone. For years, I craved for be understood, but eventually gave up and accepted that I am too complex for my friends and family to understand. Jesus understands me thoroughly. Most of my family doesn't talk to me, and life is more peaceful because of it. I have a couple of people I consider close friends, but I wonder for how long. If they dump me, Jesus will catch me. My mother measures things by status and property, so by her standards, I am a failure. I don't use her criteria for measuring success, though. Success to me is how obedient I am to what Jesus tells me to do, regardless of whether it is appreciated or not. He appreciates my obedience. I am a writer, but I earn no money from it, and it doesn't matter to me. I was born to write, among other things. My daughter had three children out of wedlock and I helped a lot with the two oldest, free babysitting, buying them things, took to them to fun and educational places, lots of restaurants trying out ethnic foods, gave them many happy childhood memories. The grandsons stay in contact with me. The older ones says he feels like I am the only family he has. The younger one has thanked me for always having his back. Helping them in their younger years is something I am proud of. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. It's screwed up. Don't ever give up on life. It is a precious gift. You were born because you have something important to do to make the world a better place. Find out what it is.
Pull yourself together as far as being an INFJ is concerned, because that's all normal enough. I concur about calling someone for mental health help. It is so worth seeing how you are definitely not alone. Depression AND abuse want to isolate you. But it always turns out, you are NOT the only one. ❤️
Hi there, I feel this and I'm sorry for your hurt. I'm not an expert in anything to do with mental health, aside from experiencing a lot of the stuff you are talking about. Please put your wellbeing first and only take on board things that feel right to you; ignore the rest. I too am a 'failure' in the conventional sense, and am working part-time in a role well below my skill level, because that is all I can manage for the time being, after severe workplace bullying and financial almost-ruin. It took me nearly 20 years in corporate to realize that there are many people who thrive on bullying others (or worse) and being manipulative to an extreme degree. It's really, really, really not about you, and it's not your fault. I promise. They may blame things on you and gaslight you (especially the narcs who, you are right, seem to be attracted to us or make up part of our family), but if YOU know your intentions, and you're doing your best to be a semi-decent human being who isn't intentionally nasty or manipulative (even if you get things wrong sometimes), then it's not your fault and they aren't worth listening to. (Have you ever noticed that people like that are happy to give 'feedback' about everything we do wrong, even if you never criticize them? They just like to pick at others for no reason). I am aware that saying 'just ignore them' isn't necessarily good, practical advice as things are often not that clear-cut. Warped and power-hungry people go after people who are different to them in whatever way. If you research workplace bullying, I think in the UK, it was discovered that targets of bullies are often the most decent and hardworking people. That can be enough to set them off and target you. Even close friends can be fickle and ghost us, through no fault of our own. Their lives get full and it is somewhat normal for people to drop out of our lives. As an INFJ this can still hurt a lot though, and we may not ever get an explanation. Even with our closest friends. Sometimes we do get taken for granted. If it helps - What helped me: Doing the Autism Quotient test (and testing for ADHD) - I think some free tests can be found at embrace-autism.com/. This may not apply to you, but it truly shocked me and explained an awful lot (including the being misunderstood part). I suspect INFJs share a lot of similarities with neurodiverse folks, where others can sense a difference and target us. Reading Dr Gary Namie's works on workplace bullying. Working (mostly!) remotely, if you are able to work (not being able to doesn't make you 'less than', despite what society says). If you can get out of toxic workplaces and minimize contact, it's a lot harder for bullies to focus on you. I can't speak for it for myself, but a good resource for becoming remote could be developerpro.io, which teaches you how to be a fully-remote software engineer. (I'm not an affiliate in any way; it's just something I'm considering in future). Not putting in any effort anymore for one-sided friendships (where you do all the work - if people don't put in any effort at all, and never have a good reason, they aren't really interested and may be using you in case they need help one day, but without putting in any effort). Just speaking for myself, I don't have friendships anymore (just kind acquaintances), due to the constant disappointment, and because realistically my health doesn't allow for it, unfortunately). Embracing the things I enjoy doing (that others may say are weird). I live a very 'nana-like', quiet life and forget about wasting my energy anymore going to after-works drinks etc. Understanding 'spoon theory' - managing energy as an introvert/potential neurodivergent person. That just means not wasting on energy on things that drain us (or managing as best we can, the things that we have to do - like online grocery shopping. I try and limit myself to going to three places at most if I have errands to run, to avoid over-stimulation, as much as possible). Having pets or volunteering at a shelter. Animals love us unconditionally and love to be loved in turn (especially senior animals)! So many are in need (some are rejected by their mothers and aren't able to look after themselves). Pets appreciate us even if no one else seems to, and have enormous emotional intelligence. You DO have value and worth, even if the whole world disagrees with you and tells you that you're wrong. Even if your family and friends and partners have disappeared (or you've had to cut them off due to abuse), you DO still have value! Some people can be nasty or just shallow and thoughtless. Or just dealing with their own stuff. It may not always be intentional. Even good people can hurt us and let us down, or misunderstand us. Please live for YOU. Take what enjoyment you can out of life and maybe just say 'eff them' in your mind to those who have wilfully (or accidentally) hurt, abused or neglected you, or taken you for granted. Do your best to protect your time, energy, peace, mind and heart. Truly wishing you all the best.
If anything don't feel alone. I tick all those boxes! I think we have the toughest time of all the types out there but I also think we have the richest life in terms of how we see and perceive things. Stay strong.
Once I realize someone is trying to lead/push me into a belief/POV I take a moment to consider the why and what. Why are they doing it? What is the goal? If the goal is ultimately good, I'll ostensibly agree. The why was nearly always political or face-saving, meaning, who cares?! But that was when I worked in a bureaucratic setting. Now that I'm free of that I don't have to appear to be led into a different opinion/POV. That said, if someone makes valid points, they can totally change my mind.
We won't mistreat others however, I've been awful about mistreating myself. You are spot on with INFJ and all the quirks. When I was younger I would WAY overanalyze conversations and was always concerned that I said too much, or sounded stupid. I've since gotten over that but, it still creeps in at 50. I love being an INFJ but there is some self love you have to give yourself.
Yes. I'm thinking most other people aren't reacting nearly as negatively as we think, if they are normal that is, rather than toxic. But then, their reaction is their responsibility, not ours.
Oh my goodness. I have taken the "test" three times over a 35 year period. Who WANTS to be an INFJ? We are definitely a bit "different". At 60 plus years old, I not only accept who I am, but I like who I am as well. Hope everyone has a happy day. Take care.
I know a person who is so different from me but claims to be INFJ like me. I think they say it because how rare INFJ is, so they want to be “special”. I’m pretty sure they are narcissistic.
Omg. At almost 60 years old I just stumbled upon this channel and I feel like you peeked into my head!! I found myself finishing your sentences with you. It's an unbelievable relief to know that there are other people out there who get it.
60 here and getting more comfortable every day being an INFJ…in fact I would not want to be wired any other way, now that I understand myself better and stopped doubting myself😌
Dunno if this counts as a quirk or not, but I’ve noticed that if everyone else likes something really popular, I immediately hate on it. However, if something is underrated or others hate it, I start to like it and find the good in it 😆
This was me with Attack on Titan when it first aired. I started seeing all the Anime Club students (In college, by the way) with the freaking Scout Corp cloak. And what made me hate it is that I never watched the show or read the manga, but I KNEW the Scout Corp was the most likely to die. And it made me question everyone who wore that.
That is probably more to do with you than them. Perhaps you should do some digging and ask yourself why you care that people like something. I like some harry styles songs could care less if others do. Most the music I like is oldies I rarely listen to anything past the 90s. Find what you like and like it because you like it.
This is so true. I call myself a "memory hoarder". I don't display them for the world to see. But I value memories like other people value money. I can remember just about anything if I find significance in it. I make particular space for people's voices, scents, cadence, or anything that makes them unique or valuable in my mind. Something as simple as a candle holder might represent a lost loved one's favourite topic. Otherwise, I don't collect pointless trinkets. Everything in my life has a place and reason for it. Especially when it comes to the collection I keep in my head.
The biggest challenge for me as an INFJ is that most people seem not to understand and appreciate how my intuition works and how correct it will be, especially in workplace. There are things that seem super simple to me, and they have a hard time comprehending them. They love to tell me to base my thoughts on "facts", but ironically their decisions based on "facts" often work less well than my intuition.
Hehe, I know this one... Sometimes I even "know" (let's say I'm really sure) that something will happen in the future, nobody believes me. I try to explain them why, all the reasons I see, they still don't believe me. Couple of months later: "See, I told you" - "Oh, you were just guessing..." - "So? How many times did I guess wrong?"
This thread is so erriely accurate. I hate it when people don't believe my intuition and I feel so alone bracing for the train wrecks by myself. By the time this happens a few times, if I'm lucky, people will come to trust my gut. If not, people (especially those who are extremely sure of themselves and dislike people disagreeing with them) will see me as an annoyance. I'm still trying to figure out how to communicate better to be more convincing.
I relate to this so much. I also see the whole and then the pieces as well and I realize most people do not. Sometimes I wish I could unsee what others can't because it makes me feel responsible for MORE.
Ive found theres no use in trying to explain. Just be right most times and they should start to see something; although theres so many aloof bozos out there.
My house was flooded with 2 feet of water during Hurricane Ian. I didn't care at all about losing the furniture, but the fact that all of my childhood memorabilia is gone is still painful. Lesson learned: never store anything important in a box under the bed or at the bottom of the closet.
Number 3 got me. I collect family heirlooms. My house is full of furniture, photographs, artwork, books, even plants from family. None of it with any monetary value, but I can tell you who owned each piece and why it’s special to me. I also collect rocks and old glass bottles. And no one here will think that’s weird! How refreshing.
A kind stranger I just met offered me a tiny glow in the dark dinosaur figurine, maybe 1 inch tall. Anytime I feel lonely, I take it to bed with me and set it on my bedside table. The mild light it gives off is very soothing. It reminds me of the day someone showed me a rare kindness. Usually, I do the giving.
I have a bad habit of predicting people’s regrets and telling them. Actually, I have a habit of predicting bad things. I knew COVID was coming months before it hit. I could feel it in the air. An eerie feeling of everyone suddenly gone ….but still there. A stillness.
Me too. I was a month ahead of everyone. Bought hundreds of dollars of N95s before it happened and when covid came month later I gave them to nurses to save them. I didnt go to ER because the company was hoarding them. I went to nurses homes and gave them to them. I researched herbal remedies for covid by translating other languages about what I was working. I then bought the stuff and put them into kits right at beginning. I saved family and co-workers by giving them kits. I was in overdrive for months researching and researching on internet. Only sleeping a few hours a night until I had it figured out as best as I could. I didnt tell anyone what I was doing because they would think I was crazy. Intuition and logic going a hundred miles an hour to save as many people as I could. Im still tired. Not sure it was worth it but I felt driven.
Bro!! You just explained something to me. Every morning when I was forced to go to first grade I was literally crying and vomiting from stress beforehand, pleading not to be sent - because the "teacher" was so horribly and continually vicious. Her favorite activity was cruelty, humiliating students continually and publicly. An INFJ forced to sit in the classroom hour after hour surrounded by terror, humiliation, shame, cruelty, and evil laughter (from the teacher) was like being sent to a demon's cage every day. I don't know why it never occurred to my family that there might be something bad happening at school. All I heard was, "Stop being so sensitive!" and "Get in the car!!"
I feel you! I hated school… I agree, so many demonic and mean people … I don’t want to know anything about them or what has happened to them now … no thank you !
I have a dress my grandmother made me when I was 6 and my daughter found it and wore it at 6. She loved it so much that she wanted to wear it to church. I was worried she would be made fun of because it was not "in style" at the time. She wore it until she out grew it. She cherished it as much as I did. It meant a lot to me.
Sudden hibernation is exactly what happened to me just a few days ago. I guess none of my acquaintances can understand what happened to me, for I've just disappeared without a trace, no answer to any message. It is just that good feeling of encapsulating oneself into a cocoon and start ruminating about things done so far and how to go forward, without any interference or distracting interaction with anyone.
Happened to me. I recently "hibernated" from contacting family and close friends...well, everybody was apologetic thinking they said something hurtful to me.... It was like dominoes chain reaction.... Afterwards I had to explain to "them" that I just needed time to recalibrate... Exhausting explanation...
“What’s up with me and Latin?” I love Latin as well. I think it’s because it is supposed to be a dead language but it’s in almost every aspect of the human language. It’s alive and kicking but people don’t see it.
That's not weird at all. The coffee and tea must be fully enjoyed and appreciated before the efforts and irritations of study! :) Me, the opposite. I had to have Study Treats. Basically, coffee and chocolate.
Abuse from others is the more reason to be kinder and more compassionate as a human being, for we learn (the hard way) how bad it feels to be abused and so we strive to not let anyone else feel the same way as we did.
Ik it sounds arrogant but that’s the honest truth, I just don’t wanna make others feel inferior! (Plus some of my hobbies and quirks weren’t well received, especially my clock collection.)
I’ve started collecting enameled small hedgehogs. In the past I collected art posters (I majored in art history in college), antique or reproduction furniture like Habersgsn Plsntation pine pieces, Czech rocking chairs, wicker outdoor furniture. I’m also drawn to decorative glass (esp tables) and crystal glasses, pitchers, vases, chandeliers.
As an INFJ, I am pretty sure that I will never become too obsessive about any one thing. I constantly re-evaluate everything- whatever I'm doing- to keep balance. Food, work, activities, watever! My inner voice keeps in checking in just to adjust any under or over committment 😊
The way I feel now, I don't know that I'll ever be able to 'go back out there.' This may sound silly but I'm waiting for a sign and a divine finger pointing in some direction. Covid was the last straw, I was teetering on the edge of CPTSD and I've done a lot of work spiritually in the last two years and I feel better now. But if I got back out there and had to deal with anymore abuse? Well, I just can't give up the gains I've made for the sake of some a-hole who needs someone to dump on. The INFJ has a cosmic 'kick me sign' on their backs, and I can't take it anymore.
@@SoupDragon63 I think one of the huge betrayals of covid that lead to my near CPTSD is that the people who pushed the vax on everyone didn't even believe in it themselves. Cause if they did they would have calmed the eff down, and as we saw as the vax numbers rose, and the virus weakened, people became MORE hysterical not less. Personally I got the shots so I could go back to work at my beloved summer camp which required it. And they were awful - restrictions up the ying yang and not the least bit grateful or appreciative of the risk and sacrifice that people made in getting the jab. That was so profoundly crushing. I knew the shot wasn't gonna do anything to stop the spread, the press release that came out at the time of the roll out never claimed that it would. I thought it was just a cheap, saline solution money grab, assuming they would never be dumb enough/horrible enough to harm people with the entire world watching. Especially after they gave up on the sub-zero storage requirement, I thought they don't need to do that for simple saline. As an INFJ I wasn't anticipating evil, and I don't apologize for putting my love of the camp first and not expecting the horribleness that came down. When it comes to INFJ intuition, my gut feeling was that the shot wasn't going to seriously harm me. Not that it wouldn't cause harm, but that I would be okay. I never advised anyone to take the shot, nor would I presume to make medical decisions for others. The only advice I gave, besides recommending vitamin D from the beginning, was to a woman at camp who was wondering if she should get her young daughter (age 13) vaxxed. I advised no, since she didn't need it. This was summer 2021, before all the horror stories came out. Anyway, covid damaged my faith in just about everyone - especially the management of the summer camp, whom I thought were decent, kind, intelligent, responsible people who cared about the welfare of others. Sorry to say I was wrong. I don't anticipate ignorance and evil, but once it has been revealed and revealed on such scale, I can't unsee it. P.S. My camp was in Vermont, and I had no idea how much Vermont is run by the political establishment in NY, that was another big disillusionment.
@@SoupDragon63 There were sooooo much that didn't make sense. I was just thinking today how for years I listened to drug ads that listed as a side effect immune system compromise - multiple times, daily. And yet when the C hit no one asked, gee are you taking a med that might have reduced your immune function? I mention that because I've never heard anyone say anything about that. Or here's another one - if you die or become very sick with an illness that 99.99% of people recover from just fine, wouldn't that indicate you have a problem, diagnosed or diagnosed, with your immune system? Or in other words truly healthy people don't die from something that most people recover from. Why would that be considered unacceptable or mean to point out?
Also, one thing I have became aware of is the direction we process information is from the bottom up meaning it goes from the body to the the gut to the heart into the mind For the most part, that’s at least the direction is bottom up And there are others like that too But their heart has pride and not love so the expression is negative On that side of the spectrum And a lot of men, especially process information top down, starting at the brain, going through the heart and down further to whatever processing system they have next but the order of operations Is what is influencing The existence of reality To not work in the favor of bottom up people It’s the intellectual minds running our society but they don’t live within our society. They’re not that stupid They just set it up Incorrectly in order To suppress the evolution Of those beings in the one percent INFJ Are the only ones left unaffected within their heart They operate off, love and are born that way and can’t not be that way Seems like our whole life we just wanna experience being in love with everything and it might be interconnected To their chromatic makeup of their genetics Or being a neurodivergent person with an extra chromosome of genetic information within each cell of their body They have three chromosomes making a triple helix Rather than everybody with a double helix And the chromatic code is XYY That’s what makes them extra terrestrial Is possessing the rare combination of two identical copies Of chromosome y making that person essentially Superman because that’s why he was super this Jesus chosen people from the tribe of Judah and Jesus was this way The chosen people of Jacob you cannot tell the joker is an INFJ as well That’s why he is the way he is and the signs are everywhere
Ive been on an academic pursuit and got secluded in home , slowly faded from social media interaction to the point now many doesn't know i exist now.. the worst part is i don't even feel the energy to do so , even with the good friends i have who are still with me even though i suck as a friend, I don't feel like talking to them too ..
You are so right. I have known about my INFJness since the 90's, but I've learned so much more from people like Jay. (Jay, you are the best.) Besides, I have fun inside my head. It's like we live higher definition lives. For a time, I was amazed when other people seened so flat. Now I know.
I appreciate this video, Jay. Especially lately, as I've been forced in spotlights and on stages, I've felt overwhelmed and am now desperately recharging my social batteries. When I recently spoke a land acknowledgement at a big concert in front of thousands of people, I held a wampum strand in my right hand in hopes of it giving me the strength to remain balanced.
While being in the spotlight is not our natural place, we can become very good at it when it’s needed. So just know that about yourself. You have the ability!
@@INFJcircle Your words are so valid and accurate, Jay. While I shy away from the spotlight, when I'm in it, I somehow do well. I appreciate you and the effort you put into making your videos, which always assure me that I'm never alone in thought.
I thank you for the explanation. I told my mother when I was 6 years old that people who were mentally ill were that way because they think too much. I have fought my whole life to stop overthinking-what I should have said, what I should have done, what I should have replied, what I should have accepted or refused, etc. Now I know how to stop it as I am now a coach expert on Habits and Motivation and Behavior Change
INFJ here. I relive memories and emotions. I’ve gone through many transitions in my life, I got tired of carrying mementos around with each move. I do collect art made by people I know….paintings, drawings, photography. I LOVE art. Mostly visual arts and music. I like to be organized……but am not totally organized. But my purse…that is organized. I travel to different sites in my work, I must have my purse organized. It’s my mobile office….kind of. But no Himalayan Salt Lamp in there…LOL. Missed you while you were moving, Jay. Welcome back.
Exactly what happened to me.Anger and abuse,thefts of my ideas...now I am sure to be an INFJ. No ritual thought. I just simply pray the God of Justice and Truth. Thank you so much!
I’ve missed your videos Jay! I’m so glad you’re back and hope your move went well. One of my weird obsessive compulsive patterns is that If I’m eating something that comes in bite size pieces like cold cereal or candy pieces , I always eat two pieces at a time very conscientiously. And if they’re colorful, I always eat two of the same color together or red with orange because that’s the order they are found in a rainbow, etc. It’s so weird but I can’t break the habit of doing it. And I can’t remember why I started doing it in the first place. 😂
3:40 - I’m NOTORIOUS at Irish goodbyes. I’ve been working on getting better at this but sometimes it’s so much easier to just leave without saying anything so I don’t have to explain how quickly drained I am. It’s not anyone’s fault but my own.
"whats up with me and latin?" ... the root and original meaning of words in a whole bunch of modern languages, a deeper level of learning which most people just don't think about as its a "dead" language with no point.... nope, can't see why either... ...
INFJ here - I work as an Interpreter: English & American Sign Language. And I do a lot of medical interpreting. I love researching the etymology of the two languages I use. Often, I find that Latin makes things so clear as it is descriptive.
Hi Jay! I hope your moving went well. Keep on going with this amazing project of yours. As an INFJ, I can say that every single second of your contents is worth it, and helped me to understand myself better, and to learn how to move in this society that doesn't get our way of living most of the time. Being ourselves and living our lives the way we want is not wrong. Walking on other people's footprints, that is beyond wrong. Thank you, and lots of luck.
INFJ and OCD - that's me. My rituals make me laugh - but I still do them. It's always such a relief to have my peculiar, complex way of being validated by others with this profile.
I grew up in an abusive household and got myself into an abusive marriage at 18. Learning that I'm INFJ helped me understand what was happening to me. I didn't realize how badly I am being treated.
#4 hit me pretty hard. I have a lot of paintings I have completed during emotionally trying times in my life. It’s like the pain drove the creative process.
I have just been thinking about these things for the last 6 hours..! especially the pattern recognition. Spooky. Thank you for reminding me that this kinda stuff is normal for us guys.
1. Yup 2. Yup 3. Yup, at some point I also want to have tattoos and i keep certain things as 'charms', I also did a drawing in my wall which acts as a 'map' 4. Yup, intense sadness makes me think on creating poetry (and very dark verses) 5. I'm not so sure about that one, I do have a 'thing': at certain moments during my day I check my right hand, like if i'm holding my inner world in my hand, helps me out calming me.
We can usually figure it all out with scary accuracy. True, I will not be manipulated. I will not be bullied. Funny, I took the test so many times just to prove it wrong. I have been outcast so many times in my life leaving me wondering what is it about me that people don't like.
Does anyone else feel like you are mentally superior to others? Like you know and understand things that people will never understand? Things seem so obvious to me like it’s common sense except it’s not.
Wow! Creative alchemy! That's me. When my mental health is good. However when I'm struggling, I become highly creative. I always wondered why my creativity only showed up when I was depressed.
Jay, you are my hero for sharing our INFJ quirky but awesome traits. For the longest time I thought I was a complete weirdo for having these traits! I Went through school being an outsider and I really believed something was wrong with me until I took a deep dive into my personality traits and what drives me, only to discover that my weird INFJ quirks are like super human powers ( I believe everyone is beautifully unique and powerful in their own way ). Again, thank you for paving the way for us and shedding light on a sensitive topic. ❤
Am I the only INFJ that hit the subscribe button three seconds before you sent it in the video? That’s a common thing I noticed is thinking about something then watching it exist in real time moments later it’s pretty cool
cosmic infj I always don't believe what those around me say completely and I remain skeptical, but I take some talk into consideration if it is useful and ignore the rest, and I am always attracted to people's minds and features to know what they are in The important thing is are you, like me, not much interested, and all that matters is enjoyment and procrastination is something I do not regret, and I don't know why I like to live in moderation without many preoccupations, and also are you like me good at mathematics And an average in chemistry that I don't like in my style is that I can give advice effectively and accurately, and I can help, but I can't understand myself. It's really a problem.
I collect African American Holiday Barbies. My grandma bought me one in 2001 and it got lost during the many moves with my mom as a kid. My stepdad bought me the 2001 Holiday Barbie for my 25th birthday and it hit me in the heart. I’ve been gathering my girls ever since!
Hi. New INFJ here. As I watched this video, I began to wonder if other INFJ types are more likely to get along with each other. I usually do not do well in groups because I am always honest about my thoughts and opinions. About 95% of the time, it does not bother me if someone has a different opinion but most groups of people seem to dislike differences. A weird habit of mine? I suppose one of them would be talking to any living creature and they will understand me to a certain degree. I don't think they understand my words but can sense my emotions and the intention that I mean them no harm.
I straighten my bed sheets with no wrinkles and also especially my bed pillow. I give it a fast tug, and it's "flat". Here is the weird reason why... So if something serious happens to me while away that day at my job, people would be less saddened if they don't see my impression on the bed.... Weird huh?
All of it, why is it so accurate for me? Even the doubting part like took this test year ago got the same result took it this month still INFJ-T still not convince but this vid really summarized my quirks. Mindful Obsessing, check. Afraid to get too deep conversations with someone because they might find me weird. Sudden Hibernation hahaha I am in one right now. Love for meaning in objects, unless it has meaning it's not too valuable for me. Ritual behavior, i have a few weird ones. Emotional Alchemy ho my, my love for art but most all the need for an emotional outlet made me somewhat a decent artist.
My weird habits are in my planning routines like I have moments of preparation, action and emotional reflection to correct my emotion and mindset later...
So if you are an INFJ You don’t have to be alone And you’re not We all feel the same way and are looking for each other And most of us have got to the point we’re OK with just having one friend if it’s infj because we understand the value and collectively, we need to stay together and stay strong if we let them get the best of us once we’re gone love is will be forgotten It’s all up to us Or humanity as we know it will end eventually
I have to tell myself stories mentally to fall asleep at night-- usually about characters from shows or books, I call it 'mental fanfiction' I've done it every day since the beginning of my memory.
I always analyze myself to check if I said the right thing or how I affected a person .. I also can’t stand drama from people who keep talking negatively .. I can read a room as soon as I enter .. I will walk away if there is anyone who is toxic .. I am really good at providing compassionate advice .. so some people tell me their problems .. I definitely find that I seek comfort for myself and avoid too much negative stimuli … thanks for sharing this info
Good Afternoon Jay… Boston says hi … You are “WICKED AWESOME in my book.. You know me so well. 😘 I hope to do a podcast with you soon.. First I have to rock the work by imploding the very big trial down the street in Dedham.. You are hilarious! 😂 Love watching you!! 💜💜💜
Funny you mention the shoe thing! Mine need to be aligned, and together. So thankful for your channel! I have so many little quirks like this, it’s not even funny. Just took the test today, and I already feel so much better knowing that it’s not just me.
Oooh, everything, from the first to the last word, is *so true*! So many little routines (and if anyone notices them, it's so embarrassing! I used to do the shoe-thing in the exact same way... now I have other rituals, though...)... Obsessions, sweet-d@mned obsessions! And objects... they can also represent a shield 🛡️. Like my human-sized red spoon leaning against the wall - this great design product keeps smiling at me, lifting my spirit, up... "What will you do with an enormous plastic spoon?!" Oh, nothing - yet everything❣️ I can feel like Alice in Wonderland or the Cheshire Cat or The Mad Hatter, or all of them at once! Or I just rest my eyes and get lost in all that red... I can feel grateful, because I have had the chance to work with breathingly beautiful, stunning objects and materials (a much needed Se-shower, from time time), creating installations (that, of course, not necessarily many understand - story of my / of our life...)... And I could go on and on and on... but I won't. A remarkably brilliant video, very well done, thank you so much 💞.
I don't know if this is an INFJ thing but complete strangers will tell me their life story and kids and animals are never afraid of me
Bang on. I've had strangers open up to me in the grocery store for ex. Several times. As if I have a sticker on my coat that says 'tell me all your troubles'. But I genuinely care about people, so I don't mind. Hopefully they are comforted or encouraged.
Kids and animals aren’t fake.
Random people opening up to me is something that happens to me literally all of the time. People often tell me that I have the oddest assortment of friends and acquaintances. To me, it's not odd at all. I'll become friends with almost anyone if I get the sense that they are genuinely a good person inside. Plus I love listening to people's stories and perspectives, especially when I can feel their emotions. I have a terrible time remembering things i should, but if I were to run into any of the random people that I have had random conversations with where I felt their emotions, I could easily remember every detail and could talk to them for hours about it. I don't like crowds much, but 1-1 conversations, those are my jam.
Yes!🙌 I used to think it was because I was a good listener….
Yup, a lot of time I can be listening thinking, 'why is this stranger telling me this stuff?'
To this INFJ, small talk is as painful as a trip to the dentist.
Agee!
I agree as well. It's like having to act as someone else. I feel it's fake and I can't be myself because I prefer deeper subjects.
@ShadowSong634 Me too. Just got into a fight with my husband on a long trip back from an out-of-state wedding. I met my birth mother at this event and it didn't go well. I'm pouring my heart out and my husband is saying things like "Oh, look at how high the corn has grown" and "see how windy it is?" I finally blew up at him and said he was being an ah and he said I'm just trying get your mind onto something else!
@@forapps9364 I feel for you. Marriage can be so hard sometimes, especially after the stressful event you attended. Just this morning I tried to talk to my husband about a book I am reading, and all he wanted to do was talk statistics about my reading speed and how it is calculated. Read the room buddy. Anyway, I am sending positive thoughts to you, and just "hang in there". Sometimes it's all we can do.
@@nanetten6238Thanks, I needed that ❤
Thanks Jay! I saw this quote today: "Give yourself 8-12 hours alone time in the morning, to get ready for the day." Works great!
LOL hilarious and TRUE 😂
AMEN LOL
😂😂😂😂
that's totally meeee
I recommend 16-18hours of alone time like intermittent fasting ❤
Does anyone else feel like it's their lot in life to be either...
1. Narc magnet
2. Devastatingly misunderstood
3.Alone in life (in every aspect romantic and platonic)
4. A punching bag for malcontented persons
5. An absolute failure by the measures of the world
Lately, I've just vacillated between active and passive suicidal idealation
I can relate to those bullet points. Please take the time to talk to a mental health professional or trusted person in your life. It makes me sad that you are struggling. Keep going!
I can relate to most of this. If I hadn't let Jesus into my life when I was 17, I don't think I would have lived past 20. I had a boyfriend who was a toxic controller, a serious narcissist, when I was 17, got married to a man who was not as bad as the boyfriend, but turned out to be an alcoholic and adulterer. He left me when I told him to go to AA. I was devastated, had a nervous breakdown and wanted to die, but Jesus got me through that. I grew a lot from the experience and it released creativity. I started to write poetry when I went through that and have written some real epics since then.
I have been single for the last 38 years, no boyfriends at all, and life has been much more peaceful because of it. Could not have done it without Jesus, though. Because of Him, I am not lonely because I am never alone.
For years, I craved for be understood, but eventually gave up and accepted that I am too complex for my friends and family to understand. Jesus understands me thoroughly.
Most of my family doesn't talk to me, and life is more peaceful because of it. I have a couple of people I consider close friends, but I wonder for how long. If they dump me, Jesus will catch me.
My mother measures things by status and property, so by her standards, I am a failure. I don't use her criteria for measuring success, though. Success to me is how obedient I am to what Jesus tells me to do, regardless of whether it is appreciated or not. He appreciates my obedience.
I am a writer, but I earn no money from it, and it doesn't matter to me. I was born to write, among other things.
My daughter had three children out of wedlock and I helped a lot with the two oldest, free babysitting, buying them things, took to them to fun and educational places, lots of restaurants trying out ethnic foods, gave them many happy childhood memories. The grandsons stay in contact with me. The older ones says he feels like I am the only family he has. The younger one has thanked me for always having his back. Helping them in their younger years is something I am proud of.
It doesn't matter what the world thinks. It's screwed up. Don't ever give up on life. It is a precious gift. You were born because you have something important to do to make the world a better place. Find out what it is.
Pull yourself together as far as being an INFJ is concerned, because that's all normal enough. I concur about calling someone for mental health help. It is so worth seeing how you are definitely not alone. Depression AND abuse want to isolate you. But it always turns out, you are NOT the only one. ❤️
Hi there, I feel this and I'm sorry for your hurt.
I'm not an expert in anything to do with mental health, aside from experiencing a lot of the stuff you are talking about. Please put your wellbeing first and only take on board things that feel right to you; ignore the rest.
I too am a 'failure' in the conventional sense, and am working part-time in a role well below my skill level, because that is all I can manage for the time being, after severe workplace bullying and financial almost-ruin. It took me nearly 20 years in corporate to realize that there are many people who thrive on bullying others (or worse) and being manipulative to an extreme degree.
It's really, really, really not about you, and it's not your fault. I promise. They may blame things on you and gaslight you (especially the narcs who, you are right, seem to be attracted to us or make up part of our family), but if YOU know your intentions, and you're doing your best to be a semi-decent human being who isn't intentionally nasty or manipulative (even if you get things wrong sometimes), then it's not your fault and they aren't worth listening to. (Have you ever noticed that people like that are happy to give 'feedback' about everything we do wrong, even if you never criticize them? They just like to pick at others for no reason). I am aware that saying 'just ignore them' isn't necessarily good, practical advice as things are often not that clear-cut.
Warped and power-hungry people go after people who are different to them in whatever way. If you research workplace bullying, I think in the UK, it was discovered that targets of bullies are often the most decent and hardworking people. That can be enough to set them off and target you.
Even close friends can be fickle and ghost us, through no fault of our own. Their lives get full and it is somewhat normal for people to drop out of our lives. As an INFJ this can still hurt a lot though, and we may not ever get an explanation. Even with our closest friends. Sometimes we do get taken for granted.
If it helps -
What helped me:
Doing the Autism Quotient test (and testing for ADHD) - I think some free tests can be found at embrace-autism.com/. This may not apply to you, but it truly shocked me and explained an awful lot (including the being misunderstood part). I suspect INFJs share a lot of similarities with neurodiverse folks, where others can sense a difference and target us.
Reading Dr Gary Namie's works on workplace bullying.
Working (mostly!) remotely, if you are able to work (not being able to doesn't make you 'less than', despite what society says). If you can get out of toxic workplaces and minimize contact, it's a lot harder for bullies to focus on you. I can't speak for it for myself, but a good resource for becoming remote could be developerpro.io, which teaches you how to be a fully-remote software engineer. (I'm not an affiliate in any way; it's just something I'm considering in future).
Not putting in any effort anymore for one-sided friendships (where you do all the work - if people don't put in any effort at all, and never have a good reason, they aren't really interested and may be using you in case they need help one day, but without putting in any effort). Just speaking for myself, I don't have friendships anymore (just kind acquaintances), due to the constant disappointment, and because realistically my health doesn't allow for it, unfortunately).
Embracing the things I enjoy doing (that others may say are weird). I live a very 'nana-like', quiet life and forget about wasting my energy anymore going to after-works drinks etc.
Understanding 'spoon theory' - managing energy as an introvert/potential neurodivergent person. That just means not wasting on energy on things that drain us (or managing as best we can, the things that we have to do - like online grocery shopping. I try and limit myself to going to three places at most if I have errands to run, to avoid over-stimulation, as much as possible).
Having pets or volunteering at a shelter. Animals love us unconditionally and love to be loved in turn (especially senior animals)! So many are in need (some are rejected by their mothers and aren't able to look after themselves). Pets appreciate us even if no one else seems to, and have enormous emotional intelligence.
You DO have value and worth, even if the whole world disagrees with you and tells you that you're wrong. Even if your family and friends and partners have disappeared (or you've had to cut them off due to abuse), you DO still have value!
Some people can be nasty or just shallow and thoughtless. Or just dealing with their own stuff. It may not always be intentional. Even good people can hurt us and let us down, or misunderstand us.
Please live for YOU. Take what enjoyment you can out of life and maybe just say 'eff them' in your mind to those who have wilfully (or accidentally) hurt, abused or neglected you, or taken you for granted. Do your best to protect your time, energy, peace, mind and heart.
Truly wishing you all the best.
If anything don't feel alone. I tick all those boxes! I think we have the toughest time of all the types out there but I also think we have the richest life in terms of how we see and perceive things. Stay strong.
I cannot be brainwashed. I think too much . But i dont think i am weird . I think i am unique .
I can agree with that!
Me too!
Thanks every one.
Yes we are unique. I am the only one in the family who could not be brain washed. It is a lonely hard road.
Once I realize someone is trying to lead/push me into a belief/POV I take a moment to consider the why and what. Why are they doing it? What is the goal? If the goal is ultimately good, I'll ostensibly agree. The why was nearly always political or face-saving, meaning, who cares?! But that was when I worked in a bureaucratic setting. Now that I'm free of that I don't have to appear to be led into a different opinion/POV. That said, if someone makes valid points, they can totally change my mind.
We won't mistreat others however, I've been awful about mistreating myself. You are spot on with INFJ and all the quirks. When I was younger I would WAY overanalyze conversations and was always concerned that I said too much, or sounded stupid. I've since gotten over that but, it still creeps in at 50. I love being an INFJ but there is some self love you have to give yourself.
Yes. I'm thinking most other people aren't reacting nearly as negatively as we think, if they are normal that is, rather than toxic. But then, their reaction is their responsibility, not ours.
Im still wayyy over analyzing conversations it’s a downright nuisance at moments
Hi! Can u give advice, as a teen INFJ who doesn't know which career to pursue yet and who thinks on how I'll be in the future pleasee. :)
Any type can mistreat ppl
This hits deep. Relate 💯. Awareness and action towards progress is therapeutic.
Oh my goodness. I have taken the "test" three times over a 35 year period. Who WANTS to be an INFJ? We are definitely a bit "different". At 60 plus years old, I not only accept who I am, but I like who I am as well. Hope everyone has a happy day. Take care.
I know a person who is so different from me but claims to be INFJ like me. I think they say it because how rare INFJ is, so they want to be “special”. I’m pretty sure they are narcissistic.
i can relate😊, i am 21 years old, i have taken the test 5 times in past 6-7 years,
I really like myself too. I nearly always do the right thing, am kind. I don’t understand people who hate themselves. Must be awful.
lol me too x5
"Am I really n infj? Better take that test again." Haha nailed it.
Yeah done it like 3 times 😂
I have done the test 5 time now since last year
Lol, yes I took 3 times by time I seen this video haha.
Omg. At almost 60 years old I just stumbled upon this channel and I feel like you peeked into my head!! I found myself finishing your sentences with you. It's an unbelievable relief to know that there are other people out there who get it.
60 here and getting more comfortable every day being an INFJ…in fact I would not want to be wired any other way, now that I understand myself better and stopped doubting myself😌
"sometimes become fixated". 😂 Sometimes?
😂
All the time for me!! 😂
All the damn time! 😂
Dunno if this counts as a quirk or not, but I’ve noticed that if everyone else likes something really popular, I immediately hate on it. However, if something is underrated or others hate it, I start to like it and find the good in it 😆
Same
Same. I’m not infj tho
This was me with Attack on Titan when it first aired. I started seeing all the Anime Club students (In college, by the way) with the freaking Scout Corp cloak. And what made me hate it is that I never watched the show or read the manga, but I KNEW the Scout Corp was the most likely to die.
And it made me question everyone who wore that.
Same
That is probably more to do with you than them. Perhaps you should do some digging and ask yourself why you care that people like something. I like some harry styles songs could care less if others do. Most the music I like is oldies I rarely listen to anything past the 90s. Find what you like and like it because you like it.
This is so true. I call myself a "memory hoarder". I don't display them for the world to see. But I value memories like other people value money. I can remember just about anything if I find significance in it. I make particular space for people's voices, scents, cadence, or anything that makes them unique or valuable in my mind. Something as simple as a candle holder might represent a lost loved one's favourite topic. Otherwise, I don't collect pointless trinkets. Everything in my life has a place and reason for it. Especially when it comes to the collection I keep in my head.
The biggest challenge for me as an INFJ is that most people seem not to understand and appreciate how my intuition works and how correct it will be, especially in workplace. There are things that seem super simple to me, and they have a hard time comprehending them. They love to tell me to base my thoughts on "facts", but ironically their decisions based on "facts" often work less well than my intuition.
Hehe, I know this one... Sometimes I even "know" (let's say I'm really sure) that something will happen in the future, nobody believes me. I try to explain them why, all the reasons I see, they still don't believe me. Couple of months later: "See, I told you" - "Oh, you were just guessing..." - "So? How many times did I guess wrong?"
I’m an attorney. I feel this comment deeply. Everyday. There is no room for intuition in the law.
This thread is so erriely accurate. I hate it when people don't believe my intuition and I feel so alone bracing for the train wrecks by myself. By the time this happens a few times, if I'm lucky, people will come to trust my gut. If not, people (especially those who are extremely sure of themselves and dislike people disagreeing with them) will see me as an annoyance. I'm still trying to figure out how to communicate better to be more convincing.
I relate to this so much. I also see the whole and then the pieces as well and I realize most people do not. Sometimes I wish I could unsee what others can't because it makes me feel responsible for MORE.
Ive found theres no use in trying to explain. Just be right most times and they should start to see something; although theres so many aloof bozos out there.
My house was flooded with 2 feet of water during Hurricane Ian. I didn't care at all about losing the furniture, but the fact that all of my childhood memorabilia is gone is still painful. Lesson learned: never store anything important in a box under the bed or at the bottom of the closet.
Number 3 got me. I collect family heirlooms. My house is full of furniture, photographs, artwork, books, even plants from family. None of it with any monetary value, but I can tell you who owned each piece and why it’s special to me. I also collect rocks and old glass bottles. And no one here will think that’s weird! How refreshing.
Me too 😂
Yep to it all. 😆
You are not alone
I know who gave me what in my home too
Same.
I collect few things, but certainly lean to over processing. I think I feel too much and the world is a painful place.
That's the empath in us, and people without the ability to feel what others are feeling do not get it at all. 😢
It is. The happy little detoxifying bubble is a beautiful thing. Lol
You can feel people pull away when the conversation goes too far for them😂
As we're hitting the gas, their hitting the brakes and the turn out😂
This happens to me all the time, I feel your pain 😂
It could be because they are conversational narcissists and want their air time back.
I have never understood how being mistreated makes people mistreat others.
A kind stranger I just met offered me a tiny glow in the dark dinosaur figurine, maybe 1 inch tall. Anytime I feel lonely, I take it to bed with me and set it on my bedside table. The mild light it gives off is very soothing. It reminds me of the day someone showed me a rare kindness. Usually, I do the giving.
I have a bad habit of predicting people’s regrets and telling them.
Actually, I have a habit of predicting bad things. I knew COVID was coming months before it hit. I could feel it in the air. An eerie feeling of everyone suddenly gone ….but still there. A stillness.
OMGGG I am an ENFP and i felt that something very weard was coming . I had that feeling in 2019
Me too. I was a month ahead of everyone. Bought hundreds of dollars of N95s before it happened and when covid came month later I gave them to nurses to save them. I didnt go to ER because the company was hoarding them. I went to nurses homes and gave them to them. I researched herbal remedies for covid by translating other languages about what I was working. I then bought the stuff and put them into kits right at beginning. I saved family and co-workers by giving them kits. I was in overdrive for months researching and researching on internet. Only sleeping a few hours a night until I had it figured out as best as I could. I didnt tell anyone what I was doing because they would think I was crazy. Intuition and logic going a hundred miles an hour to save as many people as I could. Im still tired. Not sure it was worth it but I felt driven.
@@jorgeannelabou874you are an angel 😇
Bro!! You just explained something to me. Every morning when I was forced to go to first grade I was literally crying and vomiting from stress beforehand, pleading not to be sent - because the "teacher" was so horribly and continually vicious. Her favorite activity was cruelty, humiliating students continually and publicly. An INFJ forced to sit in the classroom hour after hour surrounded by terror, humiliation, shame, cruelty, and evil laughter (from the teacher) was like being sent to a demon's cage every day. I don't know why it never occurred to my family that there might be something bad happening at school. All I heard was, "Stop being so sensitive!" and "Get in the car!!"
I feel you! I hated school… I agree, so many demonic and mean people … I don’t want to know anything about them or what has happened to them now … no thank you !
I have a dress from when I was 5 Yrs old… ( doesn’t fit anymore, but it was my favorite.) 😂😂😂
I also keep them... I am an INFJ
I have a dress my grandmother made me when I was 6 and my daughter found it and wore it at 6. She loved it so much that she wanted to wear it to church. I was worried she would be made fun of because it was not "in style" at the time. She wore it until she out grew it. She cherished it as much as I did. It meant a lot to me.
Sudden hibernation is exactly what happened to me just a few days ago. I guess none of my acquaintances can understand what happened to me, for I've just disappeared without a trace, no answer to any message. It is just that good feeling of encapsulating oneself into a cocoon and start ruminating about things done so far and how to go forward, without any interference or distracting interaction with anyone.
Happened to me. I recently "hibernated" from contacting family and close friends...well, everybody was apologetic thinking they said something hurtful to me....
It was like dominoes chain reaction....
Afterwards I had to explain to "them" that I just needed time to recalibrate...
Exhausting explanation...
“What’s up with me and Latin?”
I love Latin as well. I think it’s because it is supposed to be a dead language but it’s in almost every aspect of the human language. It’s alive and kicking but people don’t see it.
🫶🫶🫶 weird ritual is I cant have tea or coffee while studying it is like I need to finish my cup of coffee completely 😂 before starting the work
That's not weird at all. The coffee and tea must be fully enjoyed and appreciated before the efforts and irritations of study! :) Me, the opposite. I had to have Study Treats. Basically, coffee and chocolate.
@@nancycronin551 thanks for reassuring the weirdness 😆 🤸♂️🤸digestive biscuits and ☕️are also good 👌
My ritual is to walk with my dog every single day and later go to the park by myself....
OMG me too
Oh wow, I’m the same !!
Abuse from others is the more reason to be kinder and more compassionate as a human being, for we learn (the hard way) how bad it feels to be abused and so we strive to not let anyone else feel the same way as we did.
Согласна с вами!!!
Yeah, it sucks when you are an intensely creative person..
Boring people hate us..
( because they can’t do what we do.) 😱
Who wants to be boring ?
99% of the people I know are boring and they DO hate super creatives like us. I don't understand THEM.
@bumblebee_ms well, usually I don’t tell people how interesting I am because I don’t want to make them feel less than.
Ik it sounds arrogant but that’s the honest truth, I just don’t wanna make others feel inferior! (Plus some of my hobbies and quirks weren’t well received, especially my clock collection.)
That one does grind my gears when people literally copy an idea or repeat what you said right back to you! As if you don’t know where they got it from
Yep, it’s borderline infuriating
@@INFJcircle not worth arguing for because ppl think ur crazy for being upset lol
Theft of ideas 8:57 I'm amazed at how many things in our lives are directly connected to our type
This has been the bane of my existence (theft of ideas).
I haven’t had any idea theft, they’ve had permission to use my ideas for inspiration, and it was more of a tribute than anything. So I got lucky.
@@DoofenSpyroDragon16 Well not everyone is as lucky as you, some of us have it BAD!
@bumblebee_ms I’m sorry, now I feel bad for calling myself lucky 😅
Some rituals I do consistently is UA-cam videos and going and walking around nature and water.
I’ve started collecting enameled small hedgehogs.
In the past I collected art posters (I majored in art history in college), antique or reproduction furniture like Habersgsn Plsntation pine pieces, Czech rocking chairs, wicker outdoor furniture.
I’m also drawn to decorative glass (esp tables) and crystal glasses, pitchers, vases, chandeliers.
As an INFJ, I am pretty sure that I will never become too obsessive about any one thing. I constantly re-evaluate everything- whatever I'm doing- to keep balance. Food, work, activities, watever! My inner voice keeps in checking in just to adjust any under or over committment 😊
The way I feel now, I don't know that I'll ever be able to 'go back out there.' This may sound silly but I'm waiting for a sign and a divine finger pointing in some direction. Covid was the last straw, I was teetering on the edge of CPTSD and I've done a lot of work spiritually in the last two years and I feel better now. But if I got back out there and had to deal with anymore abuse? Well, I just can't give up the gains I've made for the sake of some a-hole who needs someone to dump on. The INFJ has a cosmic 'kick me sign' on their backs, and I can't take it anymore.
You got that right!
Honestly I feel exactly the same way.
@@SoupDragon63 I think one of the huge betrayals of covid that lead to my near CPTSD is that the people who pushed the vax on everyone didn't even believe in it themselves. Cause if they did they would have calmed the eff down, and as we saw as the vax numbers rose, and the virus weakened, people became MORE hysterical not less. Personally I got the shots so I could go back to work at my beloved summer camp which required it. And they were awful - restrictions up the ying yang and not the least bit grateful or appreciative of the risk and sacrifice that people made in getting the jab. That was so profoundly crushing. I knew the shot wasn't gonna do anything to stop the spread, the press release that came out at the time of the roll out never claimed that it would. I thought it was just a cheap, saline solution money grab, assuming they would never be dumb enough/horrible enough to harm people with the entire world watching. Especially after they gave up on the sub-zero storage requirement, I thought they don't need to do that for simple saline. As an INFJ I wasn't anticipating evil, and I don't apologize for putting my love of the camp first and not expecting the horribleness that came down. When it comes to INFJ intuition, my gut feeling was that the shot wasn't going to seriously harm me. Not that it wouldn't cause harm, but that I would be okay. I never advised anyone to take the shot, nor would I presume to make medical decisions for others. The only advice I gave, besides recommending vitamin D from the beginning, was to a woman at camp who was wondering if she should get her young daughter (age 13) vaxxed. I advised no, since she didn't need it. This was summer 2021, before all the horror stories came out. Anyway, covid damaged my faith in just about everyone - especially the management of the summer camp, whom I thought were decent, kind, intelligent, responsible people who cared about the welfare of others. Sorry to say I was wrong. I don't anticipate ignorance and evil, but once it has been revealed and revealed on such scale, I can't unsee it. P.S. My camp was in Vermont, and I had no idea how much Vermont is run by the political establishment in NY, that was another big disillusionment.
@@SoupDragon63 There were sooooo much that didn't make sense. I was just thinking today how for years I listened to drug ads that listed as a side effect immune system compromise - multiple times, daily. And yet when the C hit no one asked, gee are you taking a med that might have reduced your immune function? I mention that because I've never heard anyone say anything about that. Or here's another one - if you die or become very sick with an illness that 99.99% of people recover from just fine, wouldn't that indicate you have a problem, diagnosed or diagnosed, with your immune system? Or in other words truly healthy people don't die from something that most people recover from. Why would that be considered unacceptable or mean to point out?
People "out there" are now angrier than ever. Beware.
Also, one thing I have became aware of is the direction we process information is from the bottom up meaning it goes from the body to the the gut to the heart into the mind For the most part, that’s at least the direction is bottom up And there are others like that too But their heart has pride and not love so the expression is negative On that side of the spectrum And a lot of men, especially process information top down, starting at the brain, going through the heart and down further to whatever processing system they have next but the order of operations Is what is influencing The existence of reality To not work in the favor of bottom up people It’s the intellectual minds running our society but they don’t live within our society. They’re not that stupid They just set it up Incorrectly in order To suppress the evolution Of those beings in the one percent INFJ Are the only ones left unaffected within their heart They operate off, love and are born that way and can’t not be that way Seems like our whole life we just wanna experience being in love with everything and it might be interconnected To their chromatic makeup of their genetics Or being a neurodivergent person with an extra chromosome of genetic information within each cell of their body They have three chromosomes making a triple helix Rather than everybody with a double helix And the chromatic code is XYY That’s what makes them extra terrestrial Is possessing the rare combination of two identical copies Of chromosome y making that person essentially Superman because that’s why he was super this Jesus chosen people from the tribe of Judah and Jesus was this way The chosen people of Jacob you cannot tell the joker is an INFJ as well That’s why he is the way he is and the signs are everywhere
Understanding the World through patterns is an Emotion.
Ive been on an academic pursuit and got secluded in home , slowly faded from social media interaction to the point now many doesn't know i exist now.. the worst part is i don't even feel the energy to do so , even with the good friends i have who are still with me even though i suck as a friend, I don't feel like talking to them too ..
You are so right. I have known about my INFJness since the 90's, but I've learned so much more from people like Jay. (Jay, you are the best.) Besides, I have fun inside my head. It's like we live higher definition lives. For a time, I was amazed when other people seened so flat. Now I know.
That's it exactly. "I have fun inside my head" too. That's why I don't need to stare at a phone all the time.
@@nanetten6238 I don't have a cell phone for that reason. Good for you for giving yourself head time instead of staring at the idiot square.
We see it all and feel it all.
Thank you
:)
I appreciate this video, Jay. Especially lately, as I've been forced in spotlights and on stages, I've felt overwhelmed and am now desperately recharging my social batteries. When I recently spoke a land acknowledgement at a big concert in front of thousands of people, I held a wampum strand in my right hand in hopes of it giving me the strength to remain balanced.
While being in the spotlight is not our natural place, we can become very good at it when it’s needed. So just know that about yourself. You have the ability!
@@INFJcircle Your words are so valid and accurate, Jay. While I shy away from the spotlight, when I'm in it, I somehow do well. I appreciate you and the effort you put into making your videos, which always assure me that I'm never alone in thought.
Theft of ideas and jealousy of very well said in the workplace esoecially
I am 100% an iNFJ. I’m really appreciating hearing my truth through you. Thank you!
I have this "thing" about spiral notebooks, pens and pencils. I have them everywhere. They are filled with thoughts and stories.
I thank you for the explanation. I told my mother when I was 6 years old that people who were mentally ill were that way because they think too much. I have fought my whole life to stop overthinking-what I should have said, what I should have done, what I should have replied, what I should have accepted or refused, etc. Now I know how to stop it as I am now a coach expert on Habits and Motivation and Behavior Change
Love it, why don't we have a discord server or something so that we can connect and talk to each other easily?
Some kind of infj group would be so lovely!!
INFJ here. I relive memories and emotions. I’ve gone through many transitions in my life, I got tired of carrying mementos around with each move. I do collect art made by people I know….paintings, drawings, photography. I LOVE art. Mostly visual arts and music.
I like to be organized……but am not totally organized. But my purse…that is organized. I travel to different sites in my work, I must have my purse organized. It’s my mobile office….kind of. But no Himalayan Salt Lamp in there…LOL. Missed you while you were moving, Jay. Welcome back.
Thank you for your useful videos. As an infj, I am so grateful to you for forming this circle and helping people feel better.
I’ve never met people so similar to my weird self. That’s because we only make up 2% of the population. Thank you for your insight!
Exactly what happened to me.Anger and abuse,thefts of my ideas...now I am sure to be an INFJ.
No ritual thought. I just simply pray the God of Justice and Truth.
Thank you so much!
I’ve missed your videos Jay! I’m so glad you’re back and hope your move went well. One of my weird obsessive compulsive patterns is that If I’m eating something that comes in bite size pieces like cold cereal or candy pieces , I always eat two pieces at a time very conscientiously. And if they’re colorful, I always eat two of the same color together or red with orange because that’s the order they are found in a rainbow, etc. It’s so weird but I can’t break the habit of doing it. And I can’t remember why I started doing it in the first place. 😂
3:40 - I’m NOTORIOUS at Irish goodbyes. I’ve been working on getting better at this but sometimes it’s so much easier to just leave without saying anything so I don’t have to explain how quickly drained I am. It’s not anyone’s fault but my own.
We don't share because others don't respawned well. So true.
"whats up with me and latin?" ... the root and original meaning of words in a whole bunch of modern languages, a deeper level of learning which most people just don't think about as its a "dead" language with no point.... nope, can't see why either... ...
INFJ here - I work as an Interpreter: English & American Sign Language. And I do a lot of medical interpreting.
I love researching the etymology of the two languages I use. Often, I find that Latin makes things so clear as it is descriptive.
I love Latin for the same reason. As a Catholic, I at least get to sing it once in a while.
Hi Jay! I hope your moving went well. Keep on going with this amazing project of yours. As an INFJ, I can say that every single second of your contents is worth it, and helped me to understand myself better, and to learn how to move in this society that doesn't get our way of living most of the time.
Being ourselves and living our lives the way we want is not wrong. Walking on other people's footprints, that is beyond wrong.
Thank you, and lots of luck.
Thank you so much!
INFJ and OCD - that's me. My rituals make me laugh - but I still do them. It's always such a relief to have my peculiar, complex way of being validated by others with this profile.
I grew up in an abusive household and got myself into an abusive marriage at 18. Learning that I'm INFJ helped me understand what was happening to me. I didn't realize how badly I am being treated.
#4 hit me pretty hard. I have a lot of paintings I have completed during emotionally trying times in my life. It’s like the pain drove the creative process.
I have just been thinking about these things for the last 6 hours..! especially the pattern recognition. Spooky.
Thank you for reminding me that this kinda stuff is normal for us guys.
Jay! Great to see another INFJ Video. What you're stating is indeed true... Thank you, Jay!
Peace man!
- Trey B.
My pleasure Trey! Hope you’re well!
Anybody else randomly make up sit-com like scenarios with full back and fourth dialogue while cleaning or doing mindless activities?
YES! Although I do drama, too. 🤣
Get out of my head 😂, I do comedy mainly.
Since childhood I used to feel and look drained at parties... Now That I know I'm an INFJ I can see why
2:15 - doubt Oh My Stars ✨ - so true Wonderful video and so spot on
My INFJ OCD habit is arranging my desk in the exact same way every day. I can concentrate better with everything in its correct place.
I used to collect things until I realised those things were used against me as weapons (of abuse).
Damn Brah! Look at those biceps. We need your workout rutine.
Mmmmhmmmm
1. Yup
2. Yup
3. Yup, at some point I also want to have tattoos and i keep certain things as 'charms', I also did a drawing in my wall which acts as a 'map'
4. Yup, intense sadness makes me think on creating poetry (and very dark verses)
5. I'm not so sure about that one, I do have a 'thing': at certain moments during my day I check my right hand, like if i'm holding my inner world in my hand, helps me out calming me.
It took me 60 years to go 100% on my gut and trustmyself
We can usually figure it all out with scary accuracy. True, I will not be manipulated. I will not be bullied.
Funny, I took the test so many times just to prove it wrong.
I have been outcast so many times in my life leaving me wondering what is it about me that people don't like.
Does anyone else feel like you are mentally superior to others? Like you know and understand things that people will never understand?
Things seem so obvious to me like it’s common sense except it’s not.
thank you Jay 🌹 spot on you are with all points .
aren't we just a beautiful tribe of souls ❣️
hey from rural northern Maine 🌲🐺
Wow!! This is 100% what I have been living with insensitive narcissistic family members. Such persecution and abuse! Thank you for explaining why❤
Wow! Creative alchemy! That's me. When my mental health is good. However when I'm struggling, I become highly creative. I always wondered why my creativity only showed up when I was depressed.
Thanks for speaking truth about how it is for us.
Life is my art
Jay, you are my hero for sharing our INFJ quirky but awesome traits. For the longest time I thought I was a complete weirdo for having these traits! I Went through school being an outsider and I really believed something was wrong with me until I took a deep dive into my personality traits and what drives me, only to discover that my weird INFJ quirks are like super human powers ( I believe everyone is beautifully unique and powerful in their own way ). Again, thank you for paving the way for us and shedding light on a sensitive topic. ❤
My mother and I are both INFJs. It’s so nice to have someone who gets me.
This explains a lot about myself.
Am I the only INFJ that hit the subscribe button three seconds before you sent it in the video? That’s a common thing I noticed is thinking about something then watching it exist in real time moments later it’s pretty cool
cosmic infj I always don't believe what those around me say completely and I remain skeptical, but I take some talk into consideration if it is useful and ignore the rest, and I am always attracted to people's minds and features to know what they are in The important thing is are you, like me, not much interested, and all that matters is enjoyment and procrastination is something I do not regret, and I don't know why I like to live in moderation without many preoccupations, and also are you like me good at mathematics And an average in chemistry that I don't like in my style is that I can give advice effectively and accurately, and I can help, but I can't understand myself. It's really a problem.
On social media: everyone is an infj. I wonder if, because it’s rare, actually companies skew results to get more shares.
As always, completely spot-on Jay. Thanks so much for your insight and for helping us all feel so seen and heard.
Thanks so much! I really appreciate the donation and I really appreciate you!
Jay
I collect African American Holiday Barbies. My grandma bought me one in 2001 and it got lost during the many moves with my mom as a kid. My stepdad bought me the 2001 Holiday Barbie for my 25th birthday and it hit me in the heart. I’ve been gathering my girls ever since!
Hi. New INFJ here. As I watched this video, I began to wonder if other INFJ types are more likely to get along with each other. I usually do not do well in groups because I am always honest about my thoughts and opinions. About 95% of the time, it does not bother me if someone has a different opinion but most groups of people seem to dislike differences. A weird habit of mine? I suppose one of them would be talking to any living creature and they will understand me to a certain degree. I don't think they understand my words but can sense my emotions and the intention that I mean them no harm.
Thank you Jay-welcome back. Missed you!!
This is great information! I also found myself laughing because that pattern thing is me!!! I can’t help myself- patterns are so obvious. 😂
Yay! So glad you're back! Hope your move went well! Another great video 😊
I straighten my bed sheets with no wrinkles and also especially my bed pillow. I give it a fast tug, and it's "flat".
Here is the weird reason why... So if something serious happens to me while away that day at my job, people would be less saddened if they don't see my impression on the bed....
Weird huh?
Love it, classic thought process.
That honestly made me sad! A little bittersweet, not gonna lie.
All of it, why is it so accurate for me? Even the doubting part like took this test year ago got the same result took it this month still INFJ-T still not convince but this vid really summarized my quirks. Mindful Obsessing, check. Afraid to get too deep conversations with someone because they might find me weird. Sudden Hibernation hahaha I am in one right now. Love for meaning in objects, unless it has meaning it's not too valuable for me. Ritual behavior, i have a few weird ones. Emotional Alchemy ho my, my love for art but most all the need for an emotional outlet made me somewhat a decent artist.
just found out past year i was an INFJ wow! thank you for all your confirmations in your videos ps like you said it can be exhausting Thank you!
I have an unhealthy obsession with order and structure. It gives me comfort.
Thousands of tests with the same answer.. still doubting 😂... This entire talk truly resonated.. thank you.
I also love Latin. 😊
My weird habits are in my planning routines like I have moments of preparation, action and emotional reflection to correct my emotion and mindset later...
So if you are an INFJ You don’t have to be alone And you’re not We all feel the same way and are looking for each other And most of us have got to the point we’re OK with just having one friend if it’s infj because we understand the value and collectively, we need to stay together and stay strong if we let them get the best of us once we’re gone love is will be forgotten It’s all up to us Or humanity as we know it will end eventually
I have to tell myself stories mentally to fall asleep at night-- usually about characters from shows or books, I call it 'mental fanfiction' I've done it every day since the beginning of my memory.
Thank you, True 'dat' : )
Hope your move went grand.
Went great and I’m settled in now. Thanks.
I always analyze myself to check if I said the right thing or how I affected a person .. I also can’t stand drama from people who keep talking negatively .. I can read a room as soon as I enter .. I will walk away if there is anyone who is toxic .. I am really good at providing compassionate advice .. so some people tell me their problems .. I definitely find that I seek comfort for myself and avoid too much negative stimuli … thanks for sharing this info
I don't like working out/going to gym before or past 9pm and get easily upset when I haven't done my daily workout on time.
Good Afternoon Jay… Boston says hi … You are “WICKED AWESOME in my book.. You know me so well. 😘 I hope to do a podcast with you soon.. First I have to rock the work by imploding the very big trial down the street in Dedham.. You are hilarious! 😂 Love watching you!! 💜💜💜
Funny you mention the shoe thing! Mine need to be aligned, and together. So thankful for your channel! I have so many little quirks like this, it’s not even funny. Just took the test today, and I already feel so much better knowing that it’s not just me.
You are so welcome!
Oooh, everything, from the first to the last word, is *so true*! So many little routines (and if anyone notices them, it's so embarrassing! I used to do the shoe-thing in the exact same way... now I have other rituals, though...)... Obsessions, sweet-d@mned obsessions! And objects... they can also represent a shield 🛡️. Like my human-sized red spoon leaning against the wall - this great design product keeps smiling at me, lifting my spirit, up... "What will you do with an enormous plastic spoon?!" Oh, nothing - yet everything❣️ I can feel like Alice in Wonderland or the Cheshire Cat or The Mad Hatter, or all of them at once! Or I just rest my eyes and get lost in all that red... I can feel grateful, because I have had the chance to work with breathingly beautiful, stunning objects and materials (a much needed Se-shower, from time time), creating installations (that, of course, not necessarily many understand - story of my / of our life...)... And I could go on and on and on... but I won't. A remarkably brilliant video, very well done, thank you so much 💞.
Doubting the test, lol. I think I took that test 5 or 6 times over a 2 year period. Spot on, lol.