Jimmy Evans Reveals The BIGGEST Mistake In Marriage | Jimmy Evans
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
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We all make mistakes. In this video, Jimmy Evans reveals the biggest mistake that couples often make in marriage. Comment below if you have made this mistake or what you have learned from making this mistake in your marriage.
This is part of "Indestructible Communication" on XO Now! Go to www.xonow.com/programs/2019-x... for the full teaching and so much more!
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0:00 Intro
0:27 Jimmy Evans Reveals The BIGGEST Mistake In Marriage
14:26 Subscribe to XO Marriage!
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Agree. Spouse comes first. For wife it should be her husband and for husband it should be the wife. Mutual respect and love.❤
GOD COMES FIRST.
Thanks for sharing. What a wonderful reminder how important it is to spend good enough and precious time talking to our spouses and our children. May God help us all to live a healthy life for Him and His glory. Amen.
Some men or women think communication is arguing. 😢 it’s a never ending struggle.
In my opinion
Communication is dialog between 2 or more people depending on the topic
Monolog is not communication
One or the other dumping their "crap" list every time is not communication either
I would like to talk as much as possible in a normal level tone of voice
Just me
Blessings to You on Your Journey 🙂
This is a great video for todays marriage issues and a guide on how to fix the problems
Great content, thanks for sharing. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, really love her so much, I can't stop thinking about her. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life but to no avail, I’m frustrated because i literally can't envision my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Your feelings are understandable, It's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation when my husband of 12 years left me, i couldn't just let him go. I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back.
@@nikascupcakebar Wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach him/her?
@@haynesatteh4463 her name is MONICA ERLENE MORA, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as a caster and healer
@@nikascupcakebar Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.
@@haynesatteh4463 please seek a Christian Spiritual Counselor for advice.
Also, I encourage you to study the biblical meaning of “Idolatry.” We can’t make idols out of people even those we love. If we do, they become our god and the relationship is automatically heading for destruction.
When I read your comment, you reminded me of the tragic mistake I made years ago thinking the way you’re thinking about your wife.
Without realizing it we can make gods out of people.
The Word of God tells us “God is a jealous God!!!
Exalting another human being that high in our lives, regardless if it is our spouse is an offense to the Lord our God who created us.
When I realized I had made a god out of the man I loved, and my actions said, I was loving him more than God; I repented but only after he died suddenly in a car accident.
It was tragic but I learned the hard way “Thou shall have no other gods before me!” The first Commandment of God!🙏🏾
One of the biggest lessons I have learned in communicating with my spouse is when I need to express myself, I lead with the “I know where you’re coming from approach” and find it’s the best way to keep an open line to segue into my concerns.
With the failure rate of true marriages between one adult male and one adult female being so high, even among "professed" Christians, we all need to follow this advice.
Thank God for this teaching. Thank God for Jimmy Evans.
How do you Communicate with someone who has lied to you so often that you don't know how to really have a relationship with Them any more?
expose the truth and pray for change and honesty
Submit and pray. If he cheats the arrangement no longer valid
Ii get it, been there
We lift up your marriage in Jesus name and continue to hold him accountable for his actions and words and vice versa God hates liars the truth is so important
You cant communicate with someone without some degree of honesty.
Sounds like you have three choices..smack him with a cast iron skillet..accept his lies..or move on until you can find someone whos honest.
Such a great message! so much needed to hear. I pray that we can apply this to our marriage.🙏
You are helping so many!! ❤
Very nice picks. I am aligned with all the firearms you showed. Just got mostly that same .308 except its in ODG. Pricey but fun. I always enjoy your videos.
Thinking back to Love & Respect book
Last time I read the Ephesians passages, I rearranged the verses
Very good & thought provoking
Ephesians 5 : 1 - 2 ... 17 - 21
Ephesians 5 : 25 - 30
Ephesians 5 : 22 - 24
Ephesians 5 : 31 - 33
Not trying to change Bible reading or order
Just was studying
Blessings to All
Bare Marriage podcast
My wife has always been about caring for everyone else first. She came from the most horribly abusive drunk of a father and codependent victim allowing mother. And my wife spent all of her time either working or worrying and feeling guilty about what her parents thought. Looking back at the abuse and utter dysfunction she came from it was no wonder the horror I experienced being around such unbelievable dysfunction. But I allowed it by complaining but never taking action. So in the end I have only myself to blame. We can truly be our own worst enemies.
That's an unfortunate situation.. learning her passsy truma, at least you know where it came from. How you dealt with it is what the Father is concerned about.
Thank you for being so real.
I think many folks dont know the depth of issues their partner faced/faces.
Did you divorce her? How could you have taken action?
Loving the Three Dog Night
Fell in love to their songs ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for this.
This is so true and my husband fails at this. He lost his way and the way he speaks and his tone make me feel like I mean Nothing to him. Unless I do as I’m told. I look to God but he just can’t show emotion. Our grown children see it and feel it themselves. So sad for us all, bc I feel I’m love with him when he could express himself now, I’m just here and have stayed too long bc I don’t want to break my vows but I dream I could be with a man who can show love and be kind and gentle not using his tongue to cut me down to the ground.
THIS IS GREAT🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Technology is a good servant
but a horrible master
How may we watch this in it's entirety? Please! 😊
Yes, in communication you SHOULD BE ABLE TO RESOLVE conflict or anything else, but problems are exacerbated when a spouse refuses to have discussions. You start out talking "normally." When you are ignored for years on end, that heightens frustration and words don't come out soft & kind any more. Then, you just stop trying.
Listening to your spouse go on and on and on when they want you to listen to them talk about EVERYTHING ELSE but what is most pertinent DOES NOT breed "connection!!!" When you want to talk and have them listen to you, they don't even have the courtesy to stop what they're doing to make eye contact and ACTIVELY LISTEN when you speak. Why bother?! Silence is golden; if your spouse doesn't care to listen to you, why talk?!
Lawwwwwwwwd! I could literally throw the spouse's phone in the ocean, as it is definitely the master. In denial to the hilt!!!!!! Used to be the computer, now it's the hand-held computer that is called a smart phone. Acts like the phone is oxygen or blood that can't be lived without.
Yep
Hear that loud & clear
It's phone bubble games
Then dumb a%&s TV shows
Then bad a%&s news
Should be a reasonably steady diet of Faith Family Friends
In need of tech break. Set aside time each week no tech. Praying for you both
Speakrighttogod, I’m with you 100%!
The pain and anguish of rejection, especially to a thing-phone, T.V., etc.!
Been there done that for 30 years!! Then my narcissistic pastor/husband discarded me and moved 750 miles away with our youngest son!! 💔
Received much needed teaching and support encouragement from Flying Free (Natalie Hoffman), Dr. Les Carter (Surviving Narcissism) and RC Blakes. Blessings and healing to you!!
@@lindabueckert9559 Same here. It's so frustrating 😫
Amen Hallelujah I receive it in Jesus name for Odell and I 🙌🙌🎺🎺Thank you LORD HALLELUJAH 🙏❤Thank you Pastor Jimmy
The hard part is not receiving, but putting it in practice. So I pray for perseverant and successful practice of this message in your marriage just as I do mine, sister. 🙏
ptl for this!!1
My Husband 88 passed Feb22 -24 we talked about the Bible alot he was a Preacher i miss him alot he fell and broke his hip never woke up after surgery i worried alot and he always told me not to worry .I cared for him after several surgeries he always said he was ready when Jesus called him home . I never thought for a moment that it was that day we always told each other we loved each other and one day i shall see him again.
Communication indeed 💯💯💯
Blessings, love and prayers from Pakistan
I don't mind conflict but hate yelling and name calling
Dont tolerate it.
You get to the point you don't care. When you get yelling and stuff being thrown and name calling, you zone out.
It's very painful.... I tried not to care.... but it's still affecting me.... narcissists are demons !!
I think talking loudly happens
However, I think yelling / screaming ... obnoxious name calling ... throwing things is really out of line & over the top
If this happens regularly, time to separate or worse yet ... move on by yourself with your life
Physical harm is next (possibly) if you stay
What mistakes have you made in marriage and what have you learned from them?
I married a narcissist..... biggest mistake of my life !! It's a very lonely & painful life !! 💔 I need prayers.....
Painful.yes.sooo sad.but thank God we have Him.
Listening to unbiblical teachings that I tried to force on my spouse. Trying to fit him into a role God did not create him for. Reading the word, and playing to our strength is key. At times, its not possiable to put your spouse "first". Just another way of making folk feel guilty.
The Lord is Head over the Christian marriage...He comes first ...then your husband and just like your husband or wife ...if you don't take time to talk with Him ..the relationship will fall apart !
Someone who knows what they are talking about. Well said. And the Holy Scriptures back that statement up completely.
Amen. I am blessed. God bless all the Young couples. Thanks.🥰♥️🙏
How do you talk with someone who doesn't trust anyone and doesn't take the time to get to know just how you are because they have been hurt by so many people in their lives
Some people who claim they been hurt by others use that as an excuse to explain the hang ups they have..its also an excuse to be rude and insensitive.
I've known people like that.
They often feel that the world revolves around them.
If you become their friend their problems will become your problems.
I leave people like that alone.
I prefer people who are down to earth.
@@ZgBT8 And all that I have done for the last 10 years and she still doesn't have a clue about what makes me happy she still thinks I try to "run game" on her ect but though it all I just let her see my love.
@@thomasvincent9027and how has that worked?
I’m sorry to read you’re hurting and it kills to share, but don’t be surprised if you never stop loving her, just accept you don’t work together in that way any longer. I’ve been there…there and, (to me), worse
Quite honestly, as I read the words you wrote…word by word… it sounds as though you’re actually frustrated by it all as you should be…not angry…give yourself time outs and ask her to respect your doing so…maybe suggest (nicely) that it could help you both … together … if she tries doing the same with you. Take your 5 mins and try again with a clear head.
Don’t let ego rear its head and force you to stop using that moment to decide if what you’re about to say is the best thing to say or way to say it. (Might be helpful if I take some of my own advice, doubt I will, but I bet it’d help me out as well.)
How do you give respect when you don't get respect?
Heard that. It's about submitting to God Will for you in the Marriage. Pray and submit (even if it's unnatural). Be the light. Keep in mind there are biblical terms for divorce. Praying for you.
The same way God expects you to love your enemies. Respect is not given because of who THEY are but because of WHO'S you are.
If this will help, see what I shared / wrote couple of days ago on Ephesians 5
Hope it helps
And no, I have not arrived
Still a work in process
Blessings to you
Felt led to add this as well
Great Book out there called ... Love & Respect
Very well written ... Very well balanced
Summary of it is this ... Men need Respect, Women need Love
Both submit to God ... then to each other
Just sharing ... Not an authority on marriage
Been married more than once
You are not required to submit to abuse.
Texting is just ruinous for emoting intonation and inflection in speech. Had many an argument because of misinterpreted tone by myself or her. Unfortunately, the downfall was due to dishonesty….no, not by me … I have plenty of other faults but not that one. Looking back, I believe many disagreements were bec were from different countries and cultures. Made recognition of intonation almost an impossibility. Well…there went 20 yrs down the drain 😂 and, for the most part, the 7 afterwards.
🙏❤️
A man is the pilot of the family. If you fly it well, you will have a safe landing. If you marry a good woman and she suddenly changes toward you, check yourself. It means she has taken more than enough from you, and she has an elastic limit too. You are the leader of the family. Lead her, treat and respect her the way you want to be treated, and you'll enjoy heaven on earth in your family. Give her love; she'll give full-time joy and peace.
Both parties have an equal share in the marriage therefore the man is not the leader of the family but a co partner in the marriage. Such nonsense is what fuels the mistreatment of women in and outside marriage. Men are poor communicators by and large and when you are in a marriage with a damaged man that mistreats you there is no point in continuing .
@@bernieoconnell5515 statement is contrary to God’s word. Jesus says for the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church that means unconditionally.
@@kathleenbueter1272 well a lot of husbands don’t love their wives unconditionally that’s my point. What to do then? Let them walk all over you I suppose? Ones first duty is to themselves not to a man who does not appreciate his wife
Amen ❤
@@bernieoconnell5515 Well said. Relationships are FAR more complicated and pat answers or solutions cant cover the plethora of issues.
How do I communicate with my husband he is texting to women he mentioned to me that god told him to do it need help am praying and asking the holy spirit to help and guide me thanks.
Sad to say that not in my marriage, my step daughter comes first... so sad
I'm so sorry you are going through that. I have three kids with my wife right now and one on the way and our oldest is 18 and the youngest is two and everything is more important than my needs. It could be people at work or ordering something off Amazon for 3 hours. Honestly I'm not even sure how she got pregnant since lately we only have sex once every six weeks or so. But because she lost some weight and now she's going to gain some from the pregnancy everything is my fault again not that everything wasn't my fault before but it's more prominent now than before. I know I keep praying for God to soften my wife's heart and I hope she does the same for your spouse. We should all be able to put God first our spouses second then our children than our work and I'm not even sure work should be up that high. God bless you and I will pray for you and your spouse and I hope things get better
@@wesv8743 I have been praying and I need prayer myself to not harden my own heart towards my husband. I see evil trying to destroy. I get so hurt when I get spoken with so much disrespect and disdain but I hear how soft and tender he speaks to his daughter. At the beginning he treated me like a queen, now I am just a person in his way, tells me to shut up, not speak. We can not discuss our issues, it's just one way. No forgiveness in his heart towards people who hurt him. I think I get the brunt of it. It is a roller coaster I was on with my first marriage, now this one seems even more extreme. The fact that I am in almost the same situation again, frustrates and upset me. I left him last year, he begged me to come back. I did, then it became worse... I am not sure what to do, I am loosing myself, who I am... It is emotionally very draining. I grew up in a very loving and caring family, I wanted what my parents had... not that it was perfect but there was communication, respect and love.
@maritalouwrens4037 sadly once you leave them and come back they think it gives them a license and a right to treat you however they want. Sorry to hear you are going through that!
@Marita Lowrens @Wes V, I’m sorry for what you both going through. I’m no expert in marriage but please permit me to share with you how I’m learning to view relationships. You can’t control what your spouse does or doesn’t do but you can control your actions. You can control how you react or process your feelings. I choose to be the punching bag just as God does for me when I throw tantrums. I’m the more spiritually mature so to whom much is given, much is expected. I pour out my heart to God and pray He transforms the heart of my partner. I know God has done it and the manifestation is unfolding slowly. It requires a lot of patience. We can only work on ourselves and not another.
Whom should you choose? An unloving wife or your daughter whom she hates?
In ORDER:
Christ
Husband
Wife
Children
Leave everything else in God's hands. If you are in the correct order, in love - then He will get the glory. He is more than capable.
ASK HER why she is acting that way.
Choose you wife first and i believe she will love your daughter too.😊
Insecure men think everything is disrespectful including tears from him being awful to her. Drop the respect thing it gets blown out of proportion
Do you really think it's a good idea to drop the teaching of men need respect just because some immature and insecure men don't recognize what respect / disrespect looks like? What about just dropping the teaching that women need security because some women are insecure or have daddy issues or whatever other thing you can come up with? What about the men and women who are not insecure or immature who need to hear this?
@@gentlegiant3533 EVERYONE needs respect.
@@gentlegiant3533security isn't needed just because someone may have had "daddy issues " or previous issues with men/insecurities. Wanting to feel safe and secure is a basic human right & essential in a marriage especially for a woman. Especially if that man expects her to produce children, love & respect him. You can still argue & disagree in a marriage that feels totally safe and secure, that's normal. Only a woman who intentionally wants to wear the pants constantly and be the leader doesn't need to feel safe... she is safe by doing all the leading & making sure stuff gets done, if she's playing that role because the husband is useless/misunderstanding then she's not doing it from a safe/secure place & its out of fear or insecurity. When I was single, I made lots of stupid decisions that made me vulnerable but I felt safe & secure within myself because I was the master of my ship & where I was going and had full control of where my life/daily routine was going. All that changes once you're married. Who wants to have to have the mental capacity to be in charge all the time? You want to be able to feel safe and secure that your spouse can get stuff done too/make sound decisions & has your back. That includes understanding each others insecurities & boundaries too & respecting them so you can feel safe & accepted to be who you really are or who you wish to grow into. And it goes both ways. Both spouses need to feel safe and respected. I'd heard all of these terms etc. But didn't truly understand the nitty gritty of it until I got married.
Not too connected, We are to connected to the wrong things!!!!
After 30+ years I Am honestly shocked to hear Karen is still alive & still married
I’m last in every area of my marriage.. she is withholding all forms of intimacy.. she won’t even kiss me ..I can’t do no contact marriage… I’m starting to resent her
Yes..... I'm always put last also.... 😔
I know exactly how you feel, my husband does the same! It's not that you want to feel this way however over many years of the same treatment it becomes natural and then things turn on you.
Check Yourself first, be honest: do you have bad breath? Are you unwilling to be clean and smell good? Overweight? Have you said hurtful things? Addicted to porn? Have you been neglectful somewhere? (Maybe even ask a buddy to honestly assess you.)
Sometimes we can all be stubborn. It makes us feel bad when our partner points out a fault. But we should try and improve!
Now, if after examining Yourself, you cant find an issue, ask your wife, where does she find fault and that you are truly listening. LISTEN to what she says. Then think on it.
If she is truly just being mean and hateful, move on. You dont deserve to be neglected!!
I had no audio😮
count your blessings....I'm very serious
Maybe he should tell Dr Weisse first and not support his divorce.
I know all this my husband doesn't 😂
Why didn’t he give that advise to Dr Doug Weiss? Oh because divorce was convenient for him.
What if he never wants to do anything with you???
Wife can’t put husband first because God comes first right I’m over it now my marriage is dead my fault I’m very hard to live with I accept this I hope she finds a companion who will love her the way she wants to be loved and treat her like she should be treated she grew I didn’t
If a man can't work out conflicts in his present marriage, what makes him think he can divorce his wife and marry someone else, using scripture to justify why he was justified in doing what he was doing. How does that Honor God in a commitment that was made until death do you part?
Correct
My wife puts her disabled son 1st. He's mid 40s and disabled because of living a life of homosexual behaviour for decades! Even though he's supposed to be a Christian! He's been living in our home for over 13 months & he's waited on 24/7! My marriage was rocky to begin with, before this guy showed up
She’ll eventually get tired of the hand and foot care. It’s not sustainable.
@@fallonbernard4499 but then sickness comes upon her From all the weight of caring for someone's bad choices .. it's so weird wen you play GOD it never works!!!¡
I’m sorry to hear this.
What do you do when you have young special needs kids and family and no money for help and can’t even communicate with each other
Wow!! That is a lot!! I felt that!
Is there any family that can give you some small breaks?
@@deirdremorris9234 unfortunately no :( sad thing is my in laws moved here and we got them a place across the street and they refuse to watch their grand kids at all and the rest of our family is 3000 miles away
Try find a special needs program, u may find one u qualify for based on low income, which u can then get a lil break & special needs child may also qualify for SSI, which may help with a lil money monthly.
@@Breeandfree Wow. That is rotten. Do they like 'visiting' with the kids? Maybe they feel inadeqaute to babysit?
@@deirdremorris9234 they’ll give some positive attention to our 3 year old, but they always ignore or are mean to our 7 year old, the one with special needs, so it’s to the point we don’t want them to even. Be around him because they make him feel bad about himself
I think the western world view has done injustice to other people cultures. Whenever my wife says communication, she actually means arguments ....when she says partnership, she means Co headship of a home. It just creates such disharmony and she further says...difference is okay.
Lol
My dad modeled to us kids to say things to mom, which wounded her, but we thought it was funny. So did dad.
I brought that behavior into my marriage. It took a few years for the truth to dawn on me before I stopped that behavior. We've been married for nearly 29 years.
Are you a member of Jimmy's church?
@@HigherWaysWoman No. I'm not.
Did you ever hear what your mom said to your father or was that hidden from you,,,most people don't attack unless there attack first,,,,,
@Christopher Criss , mom wasn't unnecessarily attacking dad. Dad used what he thought was humor, but in reality his words tore mom down. As boys, in our immaturity, we thought it was funny and cute. As a young married I did too, but came to my senses.
@@brianwoo8877 Godbless you and your wife. She is your helper. Give to her agape love. ❤
It is ok to talk down to daughters and wives? what in the world. Why say it hurts a son. Why soecify a gender which implies my first sentence.
Men, as good as they are, show their blind spots.
But never say no to God!
My mother still thinks she should be more important than my wife.
Does she have a spouse ?
@@shaniekaforrest7594 No. Dad passed 20 years ago. I've been married 39 years and my mother has been this way from day 1.
@@kent266 Do you live close to your mom? If so, you may need to move away. I also suggest you have a good talking with her. She either honors your wife or you go no contact. My mom started disrespecting my husband. I put her in her place. Boundaries are our responsibility.
Say "NO" to your mistress...
"PUT YOUR MONEY IN MY TAMBOURINE AND YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN"
GOD first
Purpose. second
Wife third
Kids fourth
Family fifth
Others Last
Once you break any of that
Your life will be mismanaged
And where are u in that list?
Biggest issue in marriages today. Not putting GOD first and. Female hypergamy.
Some of the most terribly destructive advice I have ever heard.
Technology free?!?!? A chair is technology, so is your house and the lights etc. How can one do anything technology free outside of sitting naked, on a log, in a forest without your glasses on?
Those are inventions. Technology in today's world means electronic devices.
LOL! Id actually be down for doing that for a little bit.
@@cheerstogoodhealth Electronic devices are just as much inventions as the things I listed. .
@@deirdremorris9234 😆
@@Rancid-Jane Yes, they are inventions. Everything in life besides nature is basically an invention. What I mean is that when people use the word "technology," they aren't talking about chairs and furniture. Most people, when they use the word technology, are talking about electronics. Do you really walk around and use the word technology to describe your house furniture? LOL
Evans talks good and sweet and kind and loving full of love
but he keeps the face and the countenance of a wicked evil man. I am not judging Evans but his countenance is not of God more of the devil.
It sounds like the man is a door mat to the woman like this,,when do you talk about how woman ate to treat men,,,it always how men treat woman ,,STOP it not one sided,,I sick of hearing how fragile woman are,,guess what woman ask to be treated harshly thru woman liberation
Your comma key makes doubles and triples. Looks weird.
@@Rancid-Jane what even that means
@@christophercriss5888 Your post has multiple commas where normally one comma is used at any one time.
@Rancid Jane sorry,,
Christian feminists were the ones pushing to raise the age of consent in the 1800s so men would stop having sex with children. Where were the men? Men have been treating women harshly way before Women's lib. If women had been treated as the 'co-heirs' they are it probably never would have happened.