@@hardmtnbiker No Sir, my hubby was only 7yrs older than me. It doesn't really matter how long you know the person as long as you marry that person for love, not for the wrong reason. I know in my heart he was my twin flame.
Thank you for being a part of my life, for the love we shared, and for the lessons we learned along the way. Our time together was filled with ups and downs, but through it all, I believe we both grew and evolved as individuals. I am grateful for the good memories we created together - the laughter, the adventures, and the moments of genuine connection. These memories will always hold a special place in my heart, reminding me of the love and friendship we once shared. As we both move forward on our separate paths, I want to wish you nothing but the best. May you find happiness, peace, and fulfillment in all that you do. May you continue to grow and thrive, and may the lessons we learned together guide you towards a brighter future. Although our relationship may have come to an end, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am thankful for the time we spent together. May God bless us both as we embark on this new chapter of our lives.
This is really nice.. and not typical at all. That's not the narrative that you'll hear from woman in the U.S.A., especially when finances are involved. Way to go out on a high note. 😉👍
Just make sure you never get married again. If you remarry after a divorce, God sees this as Adultery. A very serious sin and could possibly lead to eternal separation from God. This does not go away with regular confession or forgiveness.
@@kamronwilliams2634 Where does it say in the bible that remarrying after divorce is adultery? I will answer for you: Nowhere does it say that. This is just some ancient Catholic canonical rule that has seen its day; Jesus never said that. You mention confession: What trespass in the bible would one confess to after remarriage? And what about annulment? Doesn't canon law treat that as allowing remarriage? I'll bet these two really got annulment since they are in the Philippines.
@@kamronwilliams2634 Get off your religious high horse! God may hate divorce, but HE hates it no more or no less than anything else HE hates. You WILL NOT be lead into eternal separation from God for divorce no more than for lying, stealing, murder, etc. NO sin has greater weight than another sin. And, ALL sin is forgiven and washed by the blood of Jesus. He was never as religious and judgmental as so many people who go to church and study the bible. If you think Jesus was judgmental like this, you really don't know HIM. Also, I know of many people who have gotten divorced and remarried again and are definitely more happier than the first marry. The first marriage was simply a mistake. Many marry for the wrong reasons and motives. God understands us as humans and understands the mistakes we make and why we make them. But, HE forgives us and doesn't hold it against us as you have expressed. " . . . the greatest of these is_LOVE"
Sorry to hear the news. I started a business and got married 6 months or so later. I worked like a dog, 6 and 7 days a week for 12 years. My wife and I worked together the last 3 years until the divorce. I feel for you. Don't get depressed like I did and lose years of your life.
Sir, nothing I say will ease your pain. I think most men that have an honest heart want to give our love to one woman for the rest of our lives but most women marry us not for true love but for our resources that we can provide. Sure, they look for men who’ll be able to make intelligent kids with her but our needs and priorities are rarely respected or appreciated. Men need just two things in any long term relationship and that’s respect and intimacy. If a man feels that he’s unwanted and the woman avoids contact with us, we suffer emotionally since men must have this intimacy, even if it’s just a surprise hug from behind us when we’re in the kitchen or garage. And when the man is weak or vulnerable because of a bad situation we need the wife to defend us from aggressive family members or anyone else who sense weakness. Often we’ll reach a point when we feel unwanted and hated by the people you once loved and sacrificed everything for we shut down and withdraw. We then don’t care about future dreams and recovering from whatever hit us that started the scenario. Women who cut off all forms of love will let things continue while hoping you’ll either off yourself or leave the house so she can appear as the victim all while it was her that drove the man away. Never forget that true love only exists in fairy tales since it’s extremely rare. Hope is something a man must have, when we were younger we felt we were indestructible and the future was ours to enjoy yet when we get chewed up and spit out by a loved one, it feels like a stab in the heart, how could a woman who would always say “I love you” one day then the next day scream and curse at you like an infant? Was love ever really there? I can say that isolation and staying indoors is the worst thing a man could do in this situation and going on a road trip, even if you’re sleeping in your car for a week or two, is a good idea. Make new friends by doing something you enjoy, maybe a hobby or interest you have, go to where others who like the same interests gather at and just hang out. If you’re a man of God, church is fine but a man doesn’t need to belong to any church to have a relationship with Christ. A church can help us learn more in how to become better people and overcome things we struggle with but I suggest you avoid “mega churches” at all costs and anything other than an old school Baptist church will put you on the wrong path. I don’t think you’re a bad man, just one who is trying to live a full life but your ex was being told by her friends and probably family members that “she can do better and she should leave you while she’s still young so she can find a better man”. The irony is that her life will only get much worse and it won’t be long before she implodes as she realizes her colossal mistake and will likely come crawling back begging for your forgiveness. I’ve watched way too many videos where this happens and I’ve seen it happen with one of my friends as well and when she came back he told her to pound sand. You should do the same when your ex comes back because she will never magically change and be the perfect wife one day, she just wants a provider to pay for stuff she wants. And as for Filipina women, avoid those women at all costs, they have low IQ’s and a culture where lying and deceiving are normal and only rarely do they go the distance with honor, my wife has a Filipina friend she met at her job a few years ago and she did the same things most Filipinas do when they marry a western man and come to the US, she gets a couple kids, has the man send money to the PI each month for years then divorces the husband and goes after a more wealthier man. And these women are very stupid, an average IQ of 75 is the best they can produce over there and the smart ones don’t go on dating sites to find a man, always remember that. Just hold on to the good parts of your personality and avoid being alone too much and time will heal the wound enough so you can enjoy the good in your current situation. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet some wealthy lady looking for a good man like you! All my best and please take care. Kevin Retired Army Infantryman.
Sorry to hear that my dude. Divorce is never easy, no matter how civil it is. I wish you best of luck in future romances. Till eventually you meet a compatible partner. ✌️🐻
thank you for this video❤ so light and no drama! You guys moved on and the advise its so helpful. Take time to know the person before getting married.. How they would do when you are sick or down.. How they're going to handle the situation special in rough time.❤
I really feel sorry about the divorce because I’ve been married faithfully to my late hubby for 15 years and we promised each other NOT TO DIVORCE. Unfortunately, time is so cruel sometimes that left you unspoken but shed a tear reminiscing how beautiful and colourful my life with him. But the painful part when you face the reality hit me so hard that God showed me the real colours of the members of my family and friends, they despise me and kicked me out of the house. I even renovated my parents house, bought a car for them and brought them for vacation, helping my brothers etc.., and when my American husband died, they totally changed when they knew that I don’t have pension from him and no money at all, and now I am all alone fighting for my survival standing alone in a middle of a storm with strong prayers to God and He really did take good care of me. As what the Bible says, widows are so loved by God. And I feel confident that I’m in a good hands of God. Same to you, you will be safe and cared by God. These are just passing by. Have faith in God, smile and look up the sky, inhale, exhale and be thankful to Him for all the blessings. Everything happens for a reason and continue doing good to others. Love Live Laugh Positivity to the fullest! ❤🙏
@donnabethquijano1931 I am sorry for the betrayal & abandonment you endured/endure. Why is it that life’s worst blows happen when we are allready hurt/grieving? Yup, When it rains it pours. I believe, like I suspect you may, that Our Heavenly Father may wish us to learn that He alone is worthy of our deepest trust. Even if one’s husband is healthy, alive & the marriage is stable, for some of us there can still be longterm differences & disagreements that result in feelings of loneliness & isolation. Imo. We are flawed, but God is Love. Plz pray for me & I will for you!
@@wintersojourn9356 Thank you wintersojourn for praying for me and I really need that and of course I am praying for you and the rest of the world. Yes, God is love and that’s all we need. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and John!❤️
This is going to sound offensive but I feel this video was completely useless and basically just sounded like some public ass kissing to me. It really sucks going through a divorce but there's no valuable information provided to those already engaged to a Filipina around what actually went wrong in the relationship and ways to either resolve or compromise on the conflict. There's always going to be a lack of knowing someone fully and I don't really see this as a valid excuse for wanting a divorce. I'm confident in that whatever the real reason is for the breakup, it was not included in this video. Thanks for nothing.
@@mikebenson5840 I want to see marriages succeed, specially between a native Filipina and a "foreigner". However, it is disheartening to see this particular bond fall apart due to a regression in emotional connection (lack of intimacy 🤔), because that's what appears to be lacking in my opinion. But hey, I'm sure they're both decent people and I can't really blame them for wanting to maintain a positive public image. It's just sad to me that as someone who's at the beginning stages of a similar situation, that there are no real "hard lessons learned" to share in this message. To me the video felt rather emotionally disconnected.
This is how men think. Marriage is foundational to our psyche because as the Book says, we came from dust and to dust we shall return. Our binary is zero and we will do everything in our power to not be dust. When my wife said to me that she wants a divorce I was WTF! Like you say, she did not present "a valid excuse" which to me is things like physical abuse or gambling/alcohol addition or infidelity that can't stop. You will never know someone fully because we all change and don't even know ourselves. You may doubt my words but stats are evident. 56% divorce rate and of those that remain married more than 20% do so unhappy, unsatisfied, regretfully. This is why the birth rate across the modern world: Korea, Japan, America... is going down. The system is broken. We don't need each other.
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat honestly as someone considering to marry a Filipina, I would like to hear more details not out of sordid fascination, but because any bit of advice or insight could help me and others. I don’t know if there’s a comfortable way to hear more, but I would like to hear more. Anyways, thanks for sharing and I hope to meet you in person someday. I watched your interview with Mark Thornton (RIP) in the past offering business advice during the cruise ship era and I thought you were his best guest and most interesting guest.The one that “I would like to meet” guest if that makes sense
Most relationship fails because one person was being loved to much & the other wasn’t being loved enough. Thanks for sharing Sir. God bless & Good luck to both of you.
Love, like life, is a loan and you have to pay it back everyday. Too easy to see it as a thing. John Sexton (divorce lawyer) talks about the 3 ingredients for a good marriage. Loyalty is first. Be their cheerleader and also the loving critic so they see their blind spots. Second is romance/sex/intimacy. Be real, be honest, and skin to skin is so powerful as each can be totally themselves in this bubble of time away from the world. Lastly, consciously value through language and behaviors. My ex never understood the second ingredient. I tried all the constructive criticism and she bought into the idea from may that you fix the relationship first and the sex will fix itself. That's ridiculous and naive. Most men have a very strong monogamous sex drive that barely declines as we age. If we are monogamous and she is the only meal in town then forcing us into famine is a death spiral to divorce. One has to be deliberate with intimacy. Put it on the calendar like you would all important things.
Hi John. Thanks for sharing your personal story. I’m not really in a position to comment much since I hardly know either of you. It sounds like you and your wife made an excellent team business wise. Although you may have had some differing immediate or long-term personal goals or priorities along the way. Often times there is pressure from family and society to stay together, but imo you’re ultimately better off to end a relationship sooner than later once differences become evident however hard it may be. One thing I’ve learned, is sometimes people can grow closer together, while other times they can grow farther apart. Full compatibility can’t be forced. It either happens naturally or it doesn’t. Best wishes to both of you in finding the right person to share your lives with in the future.
I hear so many expats say they want a working Filipina. But then the relationship ends up being like a typical Western one. Just like in the West, the modern working woman doesn't have the time or energy to take care of ol John when she gets home tired after long hours of work. If you want a traditional woman, she needs to have traditional roles. Sorry this happened to you John.
Hehehe. How dare you tell the truth.? Now you can actually have a traditional wife who works, provided maybe you have no children. But there are types of ladies...and men whose life evolves solely around achieving something : a job, a company, academia etc. Those ladies often ww admire them for their grit and determination. But they are rarely wife material..I dated a university professor while doing her PhD in Australia. Wonderful in many regards and desperate for a relationship in he'd mid 30s but the pull of academia was still too strong. Needless to say, I am now married to someone else ...and she is back to her tenure.😂
Problem is if relationship fails with house wife , There will be MASS ive Ali Money /ex spousal support , probably for life Compared to if s He has her own job. Financial burden of ex Wifi can destroy a man financially, After that he can’t afford a new partner any more
@@A_Sen_0 Even if you have a working Filipina, most of the financial burden is going to be on you anyway cause they only make small pesos. Better to keep them home taking care of the domestic stuff then you'll have a blissful relationship and less chance of breakup.
Hello John, wow im chocked for both of you. Just reset life again my friend and Enjoy. I have been busy offline a long time bit trying to grt back and watch your videos again. Take care and can we have a call someday soon?
Thank you for sharing. I have been here full time since March of this year. My Filipina and I are getting married in 4 months. This was insightful. Thank you again.
Ive always wanted to be just a housewife doing wife duties, i met this guy, he said im the woman he is always looking to marry, but all of a sudden , he pushes me be better, get a better paying job be productive, be independent😢, that really hurt me,im lost right now. From the start i told him im poor and will have almost nothing to offer financially unlike the girls she dated before, they have careers, rich but the relationships failed😥
Congratulations. You deserve to have what you want and to be happy. Great content. I appreciate the honesty. You’re the only one who is open and honest like this. Especially the Duma vloggers paint one side. I have had relationships but never committed as vloggers say and instead work on my relationship with myself. I’ve met so many expats who complain about their wives, gf, and don’t do anything to improve or change. Things aren’t as they seem mostly. It takes years and years to know myself and others. Those who jumped in a many times regretful. Fortunately I listen to my instinct and conscience
So long as the marriage is based on love, nothing goes wrong. You will weathered everything. I met my American husband when I came here in America as a nurse 25yrs ago. We dated for 4yrs before tying the knot to make sure we fully knew each other. Known each other for 23yrs and married for 19yrs and counting. Watching from Denver, CO
In case anyone is interested, to get a divorce, One simply obtains the divorce/decree outside the country, brings the decree back with them and the divorce will be recognized under Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code). In cases however where a Filipino citizen contracts a marriage with a foreigner, a divorce validly obtained thereafter in a foreign court by the foreigner spouse, i.e. the foreigner spouse initiated the divorce proceedings, such a divorce will be recognized under Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code).
So very sorry to hear the news you shared. Life can and will alway present you with challenges. I am sorry you find this to be one of them. Take care and I wish you both nothing but good things in your future.
That's the speech I gave to my two children last month. Life will present obstacles. Some you do to yourself (we all make mistakes) and some life brings to you. So what do you do when you have a problem? You need two things: a map and to do something different. And you sleep on it. Both things you are excited about like a new toy and things you are troubled by. I told them I was sleeping on it for a year before deciding what I will do. I feel like I have already made up my mind (retire early and go abroad) but yes, "good things in your future" is the them song for troubled times. We will see....
Ive got a feeling of deja vu though for feeling sad of knowing relationship does not last long. I have been very fond of this one foreign couple blogger who Im rooting to have what can I say a solid foundation of emotional connection that's just cannot be untie by the charms of any elements that the passes through, unfortunately the guy did was charmed and the lady at her first blogs , I so feel her. It's just maybe I do not differentiate a bloggers life to a somekind of a movie or a short love story documentary. I don't know the world of vloggers how they really manage not to be carried away not to talk their personal life, since everything might become a topic one day. It is never a talk that is simply to pass a content, it is how one would manage to deliver it and still have his/her moment to grasp it. After all there's more than just emotion invested in a relationship. I believe there's no animosity between the two of you after this since I can sense calmness between the two of you.
shit happens. Even not knowing your wife, I felt a lost something in that respect when we met. The good thing is that life offers great opportunities in business and love life alike.. You are a good man and I am sure so she is. Both strong and will make it and be glad you can grow in the Philippines a country that is more loving than the US right now. I wish both of you happiness and joy.😍
I got a divorce in Guam. It cost about $2000 for the divorce but had to fly there and stay seven days. It took 6 weeks to try everything completely finished because we both signed and agreed on the divorce
Sorry John. Appreciate your honesty on a difficult topic. I have a pinay girlfriend but no plans to marry again. Just don’t have faith in it anymore sadly
@WatchCaliforniaExpat We will be back in the Philippines around August-September. We will plan to get together with you at that time. Pencil us into your schedule, please. I know you are a busy man.
Unfortunately work and children can get in the way of relationships. I stayed single after my divorce at age 35. Not working seems like a necessity for me to devote enough time to my relationship. Best wishes to both of you.
How did you manage it? I'm a few days away from the divorce being final and already at peace. My life is perfect. Except the power of Eros won't be ignored. Perhaps chastity brings it's own power over time? Most days I feel empowered but then Eros sneaks in and ruins things. Eros is very sneaky; enticing with words like love and visions of intimacy.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x Joining a church and praying for the answers helps. For me a 19 year old was available to me, but I waited until I was financially able to start my new family. So I've discovered that God's plan was best. My wife left me 24 years ago and that's when my new wife was born. She's 24 now and we met online when she was 19 during COVID. 2Pet.3 [8] But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
Im sorry to hear this. I always say that people don't get married intending to be divorced. Unfortunately, life happens, and hard choices have to be made sometimes. It can be challenging, but I hope you and your ex can remain good friends, as well as continue to enjoy life in Davao. Thanks for sharing.🙏
56% divorce rate in America. And the humorous aspect of this is that within five years 85% of people will remarry. If it was any other system, driving your car for example, and you had a terrible accident 56% of the time then you would not keep driving. But here we are with love. All of us staring at the moon and being drawn by it's allure. There must be something very powerful in our need for it. Perhaps like life, we all know we are going to die but we continue to play the game. It's kind of beautiful in tragic sense.
@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x your description is fitting, beautiful in a tragic way. Despite tragedy, there's a sense of fulfillment when one eventually finds love. It brings hope and strengthens resolve. I didn't know the statistics. Looks like I'm in danger of falling under the 15%. Life being life.
I really don’t take advice from people in fail marriages and relationships…if you haven’t been married for 30 or 40 + years and can tell me the obstacles you over came to be where you are now because it wasn’t then I don’t wanna hear…because people now a days men and women don’t know 💩 about marriage and what it means
I care very little if someone chooses to take my advice or not. Though I think there's opportunity to learn from other's failures as much as their successes.
Fascinating. I watched a divorce video months ago where the american woman described her "conscious uncoupling" from her husband. She said that he was wonderful but more Buddhist and content whereas she was always wanting to grow and go and grow and go. As she spoke it felt like a western mind virus that had taken over female psyche. As you explained this I was then shocked that you were the relationship first partner with a Filipina. Pressure to get married in their culture is something that has bothered me as I consider a move there in 2025. I've been married. Twice! Marriage is a broken system and I don't want to do it again. James Sexton describes marriage as the moon and people mistake their pointing at the moon as marriage. In other words, they each have a picture of the moon but they are not the same. And problems come. I'm so glad that you have a solid head on your shoulders with this. Honestly, I don't think I have the capacity to endure another divorce. And if I were to sell everything I know here in the States and relocated to my adventure there, it would be a soul sucking dark hole; standing at the bottom of this bottomless pit I'm not sure I'd be able to cope. You've got sensibility and youth on your side brother. Time to go fishing again. Godspeed.
Sorry to hear this , But it’s got be tough still working together after divorcing . Trusting someone after a divorce to be able to trust them in business is tough I hope you’re being careful.
Hey, I was married for 6 years in ph after knowing my ex online for 2 years. We didn't get along as the years went by and finally I went back to Europe and got an online divorce...ok we didnt have kids or property so it took about 6 months for it to be finalised...so as far as I'm concerned I'm divorced and will never marry again 😊
You're a nice guy and I mean that in a good way. I like you, you are kind. You can tell that you feel a bit sad which is logical. Hope you can cope the situation in meantime. And yes, the lockdowns and everything else in that time killed us also in relationships. I can never forgive or forget the damage it created.
Sorry to hear your news. Hope things work out to your mutual benefit. It appears you have lifted each other up and I suspect you always will, just not husband and wife. Continued good luck to you both. You stand out as a good guy especially in comparison to the nut cases down in Dumaguete.
@@MarsOcto Sooner or later you will find out if she is only after your money or if she wants to establish a long-lasting relationship. Women that only want your money and not your person tend to keep other women out of sight by picking you up at the airport...but you may be lucky and be met with genuine sympathy. The bottom line is not to marry the first 5 years and to opt for a kind of business partnership instead, and if you do marry make sure there is a possibility of divorce.
I really honestly don't think of it as Filipina or Expats, it is about PEOPLE! I was married to a woman from Colombia, she told me that she married me for my money and for citizenship after we got married and then told me that I was stupid., it is all about people motives and love, when you truly love a person, it doesn't matter, what matter is finding common ground and solutions, it is a constant fight, you just gave up., just the reality of it.
Hi, I would like to ask what if the marriage are in between two Filipinos and would file a divorce in Guam? Is Guam Divorce applicable in this situation?
May I know what Law office did you hire? I have been in contact a family law office there I raised that issue but they said it can be done but will not be recognized in the Philippines.
The old adage is this: take your time. everyone is on their best behavior for the first year or so. Wait until you see them at their worse and then decide can you spend the rest of your life with this person. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF when doing this. Stop thinking of the fairy tale or the good sex your most likely having. Think of the personality and if something happens to her, are you willing to remain faithful and take care of her, and will she do the same for you!
Is it possible to divorce a marriage even if there is no contact with him? I'm A Filipina married for 20 years but my husband who is a foreigner left me 16 years ago, I don't know how to locate him since he went to the USA for the reason his mother died, after that We lost our communication..
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat John, we're not in Davao, but we'll love to visit there at some stage ... when we do, we'll reach out to you, to see if you're free to get together
Seems more of a certain Hollywood divorce like George Hamilton and Alana Collins. They divorced but still get along. AC married Sir Rod Stewart but divorced, yet, they also get along. Some working couples 💑 just do not blend well as marriage partners. This is like having a work wife and a family wife.
I'm a first time viewer so I don't know your story, but I was a leader of a divorce recovery group for several years. Our society isn't geared towards the traditional family where the man is the leader and the woman follows, women, even Filipinas, want to control the family. Many people don't realize that the Philippine family is run by the woman and her family. It is what it is, no judgements. Given the high rate of unhappy marriages, maybe marriage isn't a viable way to live your life. Think about how women change, both physically and emotionally, is a long term relationship even a good idea where the state controls the terms?
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat That all depends on how you see basic female nature. If you still have the old world thinking that women are sugar and spice then you should roll the dice again and play a game that has very few winners. Even the guys that appear to be winners are miserable and wish they had picked more wisely. That's the fly in the ointment, there is no wiser choice of women as it all goes back to basic female nature. This isn't something to be mad about, it is just how it has always been and will always be. If you see the logic in what I'm saying then act in a way that will bring good things into your life for the long term.
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat Many people regard Mike Tyson as a meathead, maybe he is dumb enough to speak thee truth to a gynocentric world. "You're mother will do everything she can to help you,...every other woman will do everything she can to help herself." Over half the people will reject those words and call Mike names, the other half has lived out the truth of his words. Best of luck to you.
Sorry buddy. I believe when one door closes another one opens. And another one is everything happens for a reason. One last one your life will be better in the future I promise.
A divorce between a filipino and a foreign national will only be recognized if the marriage and divorce took place outside the country. If you were married in the Ph, goodluck with that.
Sorry to hear that your marriage didn’t work out, and I appreciate you sharing something so personal. Being divorced myself, I understand what a difficult situation it can be, so I hope you’re both handling it well. It came as a shock, considering that I just saw a video a few days ago about another well known UA-cam couple who do videos about the Philippines getting divorced, and because of extremely similar reasons. It’s something that I would expect more in Western culture than with a Filipina. Do you feel that Filipino culture is becoming more Westernized in some ways?
Filipino culture remains forever because it is part of Philippine history. However, those few Filipinos who has colonial mentality embracing the western culture.
Sorry dear but never loose hope, i know she was not meant for you, your right one is coming you will be happ again trust me. Visit Uganda is a good country too with beautiful people. Watching you from Uganda.
I have never been to Uganda but the women seem to be gorgious , athletic , tall way better than filipinas, but I have not found yet other reasons to visit it , beautiful landscape I can have in many places and to go to a very poor country is always a challenge don't feel the urge so far since it's gonna be expensive trip and the outcome in regards to women is always vague 😂 German 60 yrs
Damn John, my heart goes out to you. I’m actually divorcing in the states because she choose career over relationship. So I’m off to PH to live differently and hopefully better.
Sorry things didn't work out for you two. I'm really interested in seeing your next video though, about how you went through with divorce in the Phillipines. I have only ever heard, over and over again, that there is no divorce in the Phillipines, only annulment for certain cases such as if one partner contracts a serious STD or something. Hoping you won't spare the details and really tell us what happened and how you got a divorce there, thanks.
Your transparency is beautiful, John. I lost my wife 24 years ago. I’ve heard divorce has similar earmarks in pain. I did not even know you were married. I read Gracie’s post and certainly she’s an amazing woman. You’re an amazing man, so you both have been blessed and remain blessed. This was the most tender video and certainly painful for both you and Gracie. Pain tends to bring growth and that’s the positive part of life. Mark, in Dallas.
To me you have to know the psychology of a Filipina, A Western foreigner Expat has a different upbringing and mind frame. So many expats expect a lot from an Asian lady, maybe work got on the way, and that gets its toll on a relationship, An in influx of old senior Cititzen from the West want a relationship with a Filipina with a huge age gap, I hope the future of the women in Philippines will improve and not rely on a Western Foreigner Financially, Age Gap dont matter is too ridiculous for me and outrageous it was a taboo for Asians/Pinay back in the days.! 🙏
I'm considering PI or Thailand for retirement. In Thailand there is more of a Buddhist mentality in female psychology. They want to achieve and a man will have to be equal or better for a productive life. Age gap is more as it is in America. Perhaps 7 years or 10 years but you would find only amongst the 1% wealthy any big gaps like rich old man and beautiful young woman. I think if an expat retires to Thailand he should expect a place that treats him well (cost of living and lifestyle quite favorable) but not a heart that treats him well. Language by itself is a great obstacle but so is their culture. Of course, it's not impossible and I have watched some success stories but expats with a heart priority don't feel so incentivized to sell everything and go abroad just for the cost of living. Thailand is a beautiful country though and one can live a very good life that is free from the economic grind we have, on top of the social tensions as is so evident in our wild politics where crime is celebrated and we don't even know what a man or woman is. I get what you saying though about it seeming taboo for big age gap. I have heard that in modern cultures like America, if you are looking for love with a younger person, then age minus 20 + 7 is a good guide to follow. Anything more and you are too far outside your generation and will not understand each other.
I appreciate all the advice you shared it's very relevant in stepping into more serious relationship. Im 32 yrs old I have American bf which 5 yrs older than me, we get to know each other for 1 year and after 1 year he came over here in Davao City for 5 days and we officially started our relationship and we are currently in moths official relationship right now And we're planning to get married this 2025, I know it's very important to be cautious in all aspects in life my bf wants us to sign a prenuptial agreement, I understand how this agreement helps a lot but unfortunately it also says something on the emotion of the other person in the relationship. I love my bf but as a woman I felt a strange feeling of doubting the life that we are about to share together. Is it common in American to have a prenuptial agreement? By the way, Thank you for sharing your story. Its an eye opening for everyone.
No. Good and kind is never a mistake. Divorce is more common than a successful marriage because it is a broken system. People are not broken, although we may not have the right tools for navigating this rapidly changing world. In modernity, woman do not need men. Perhaps AI girlfriends will soon solve this for men as well. Birth rates are falling across modernity: Korea, Japan, US... and some sort of change will have to be designed as their doesn't seem to be any way to get the ketchup back in the bottle.
Hi John, your story is one of said ones i ever heard about. The fact she divorced from you means that the reason why she accepted to marry you was not really what you thought to be. It shows clearly that she looked for financial security from you. You guys have you at least had children together?
Intercultural, diferent views and opinoin. Huge expectation in an interracial relationship. Later on a reality shock . I am married to EU guy for now 38 years.
You have my sympathy. Divorce is never easy. I agree that you shouldn't rush, but that's not a guarantee and Filipina tend to push and rush. They meet you at the airport and move right in. I always warn that you don't get an accurate picture by just talking to Filipina.
I'm holding my breath john... I'm not ready to watch this yet... You two were my my pandemic couple 🥹🥹 I'll watch it before the night ends john Fully support you and your channel ☺️
Awh John... From the bottom of my heart, I truly sympathize with what you are going through... 😔 Even though I never met you or Grace, whenever I would watch you guys on your channel or Meljean's, I just instantly loved you two... I'll always continue to support both of your channels, John
real unconditional love can be found between parents and their children to find a good spouse i's vital that both are generous and open to bring more to the table , to find a generous women is very hard and even unlikely amongst the good looking ones additional features add up , most men look mainly for beauty failure must be prevalent
There are tough questions to this situation that might never be answered if asked. Looking back at the beginning of your relationship, did she use you as a quick stepping stone to lift herself up? I see so many filipinas that use foreigners to get ahead in life, some follow through for real and many are in it for "business", then they want to move on.
I met and dated my hubby for 4months before we got married and live together for 16yrs and took care of him when he got sick until he passed.
Those are the stories i love to hear
Well-done. True commitment is so hard to find these days. Many will say for better or worse but few seem to mean it when worse comes to visit.
@@ericg9092technology has made commitment less and less important. People are more replaceable than ever before. It is what it is.
I’m sure those stories are common when young Filipina’s marry an old and often disabled or retired foreigner.
@@hardmtnbiker
No Sir, my hubby was only 7yrs older than me. It doesn't really matter how long you know the person as long as you marry that person for love, not for the wrong reason.
I know in my heart he was my twin flame.
Thank you for being a part of my life, for the love we shared, and for the lessons we learned along the way. Our time together was filled with ups and downs, but through it all, I believe we both grew and evolved as individuals.
I am grateful for the good memories we created together - the laughter, the adventures, and the moments of genuine connection. These memories will always hold a special place in my heart, reminding me of the love and friendship we once shared.
As we both move forward on our separate paths, I want to wish you nothing but the best. May you find happiness, peace, and fulfillment in all that you do. May you continue to grow and thrive, and may the lessons we learned together guide you towards a brighter future.
Although our relationship may have come to an end, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am thankful for the time we spent together.
May God bless us both as we embark on this new chapter of our lives.
This is really nice.. and not typical at all. That's not the narrative that you'll hear from woman in the U.S.A., especially when finances are involved.
Way to go out on a high note. 😉👍
Just make sure you never get married again. If you remarry after a divorce, God sees this as Adultery. A very serious sin and could possibly lead to eternal separation from God. This does not go away with regular confession or forgiveness.
@@kamronwilliams2634 Where does it say in the bible that remarrying after divorce is adultery? I will answer for you: Nowhere does it say that. This is just some ancient Catholic canonical rule that has seen its day; Jesus never said that. You mention confession: What trespass in the bible would one confess to after remarriage? And what about annulment? Doesn't canon law treat that as allowing remarriage? I'll bet these two really got annulment since they are in the Philippines.
@@kamronwilliams2634 you're an idiot if you actually believe that
@@kamronwilliams2634 Get off your religious high horse! God may hate divorce, but HE hates it no more or no less than anything else HE hates. You WILL NOT be lead into eternal separation from God for divorce no more than for lying, stealing, murder, etc. NO sin has greater weight than another sin. And, ALL sin is forgiven and washed by the blood of Jesus. He was never as religious and judgmental as so many people who go to church and study the bible. If you think Jesus was judgmental like this, you really don't know HIM. Also, I know of many people who have gotten divorced and remarried again and are definitely more happier than the first marry. The first marriage was simply a mistake. Many marry for the wrong reasons and motives. God understands us as humans and understands the mistakes we make and why we make them. But, HE forgives us and doesn't hold it against us as you have expressed. " . . . the greatest of these is_LOVE"
Sorry to hear the news. I started a business and got married 6 months or so later. I worked like a dog, 6 and 7 days a week for 12 years. My wife and I worked together the last 3 years until the divorce. I feel for you. Don't get depressed like I did and lose years of your life.
Appreciate your support and sorry to be you went through the same
Sir, nothing I say will ease your pain. I think most men that have an honest heart want to give our love to one woman for the rest of our lives but most women marry us not for true love but for our resources that we can provide. Sure, they look for men who’ll be able to make intelligent kids with her but our needs and priorities are rarely respected or appreciated. Men need just two things in any long term relationship and that’s respect and intimacy. If a man feels that he’s unwanted and the woman avoids contact with us, we suffer emotionally since men must have this intimacy, even if it’s just a surprise hug from behind us when we’re in the kitchen or garage. And when the man is weak or vulnerable because of a bad situation we need the wife to defend us from aggressive family members or anyone else who sense weakness. Often we’ll reach a point when we feel unwanted and hated by the people you once loved and sacrificed everything for we shut down and withdraw. We then don’t care about future dreams and recovering from whatever hit us that started the scenario. Women who cut off all forms of love will let things continue while hoping you’ll either off yourself or leave the house so she can appear as the victim all while it was her that drove the man away. Never forget that true love only exists in fairy tales since it’s extremely rare. Hope is something a man must have, when we were younger we felt we were indestructible and the future was ours to enjoy yet when we get chewed up and spit out by a loved one, it feels like a stab in the heart, how could a woman who would always say “I love you” one day then the next day scream and curse at you like an infant? Was love ever really there? I can say that isolation and staying indoors is the worst thing a man could do in this situation and going on a road trip, even if you’re sleeping in your car for a week or two, is a good idea. Make new friends by doing something you enjoy, maybe a hobby or interest you have, go to where others who like the same interests gather at and just hang out. If you’re a man of God, church is fine but a man doesn’t need to belong to any church to have a relationship with Christ. A church can help us learn more in how to become better people and overcome things we struggle with but I suggest you avoid “mega churches” at all costs and anything other than an old school Baptist church will put you on the wrong path. I don’t think you’re a bad man, just one who is trying to live a full life but your ex was being told by her friends and probably family members that “she can do better and she should leave you while she’s still young so she can find a better man”. The irony is that her life will only get much worse and it won’t be long before she implodes as she realizes her colossal mistake and will likely come crawling back begging for your forgiveness. I’ve watched way too many videos where this happens and I’ve seen it happen with one of my friends as well and when she came back he told her to pound sand. You should do the same when your ex comes back because she will never magically change and be the perfect wife one day, she just wants a provider to pay for stuff she wants. And as for Filipina women, avoid those women at all costs, they have low IQ’s and a culture where lying and deceiving are normal and only rarely do they go the distance with honor, my wife has a Filipina friend she met at her job a few years ago and she did the same things most Filipinas do when they marry a western man and come to the US, she gets a couple kids, has the man send money to the PI each month for years then divorces the husband and goes after a more wealthier man. And these women are very stupid, an average IQ of 75 is the best they can produce over there and the smart ones don’t go on dating sites to find a man, always remember that.
Just hold on to the good parts of your personality and avoid being alone too much and time will heal the wound enough so you can enjoy the good in your current situation. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet some wealthy lady looking for a good man like you! All my best and please take care.
Kevin
Retired Army Infantryman.
Glad you are on your feet and moving forward with new beginnings
Thank you very much
So sorry to hear the bad news, John. A vulnerable video and sad. Trust you and Grace are ok. Blessings to both of you.
Appreciate you
Sorry to hear that my dude. Divorce is never easy, no matter how civil it is. I wish you best of luck in future romances. Till eventually you meet a compatible partner. ✌️🐻
Much appreciated 🙏
thank you for this video❤ so light and no drama! You guys moved on and the advise its so helpful. Take time to know the person before getting married.. How they would do when you are sick or down.. How they're going to handle the situation special in rough time.❤
Thank you ☺️ You are right those things are very important
I really feel sorry about the divorce because I’ve been married faithfully to my late hubby for 15 years and we promised each other NOT TO DIVORCE. Unfortunately, time is so cruel sometimes that left you unspoken but shed a tear reminiscing how beautiful and colourful my life with him.
But the painful part when you face the reality hit me so hard that God showed me the real colours of the members of my family and friends, they despise me and kicked me out of the house. I even renovated my parents house, bought a car for them and brought them for vacation, helping my brothers etc.., and when my American husband died, they totally changed when they knew that I don’t have pension from him and no money at all, and now I am all alone fighting for my survival standing alone in a middle of a storm with strong prayers to God and He really did take good care of me. As what the Bible says, widows are so loved by God. And I feel confident that I’m in a good hands of God.
Same to you, you will be safe and cared by God. These are just passing by. Have faith in God, smile and look up the sky, inhale, exhale and be thankful to Him for all the blessings. Everything happens for a reason and continue doing good to others. Love Live Laugh Positivity to the fullest! ❤🙏
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry what happened to you
@donnabethquijano1931 I am sorry for the betrayal & abandonment you endured/endure. Why is it that life’s worst blows happen when we are allready hurt/grieving? Yup, When it rains it pours. I believe, like I suspect you may, that Our Heavenly Father may wish us to learn that He alone is worthy of our deepest trust. Even if one’s husband is healthy, alive & the marriage is stable, for some of us there can still be longterm differences & disagreements that result in feelings of loneliness & isolation. Imo. We are flawed, but God is Love. Plz pray for me & I will for you!
@@wintersojourn9356 Thank you wintersojourn for praying for me and I really need that and of course I am praying for you and the rest of the world. Yes, God is love and that’s all we need. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and John!❤️
Thank you for your comments and expressions of faith in God. Life happens unexpecting. I would like to chat with you. Maybe we have things in common.
@@thetrumpetplayer1109 yes I would love that idea. It’s nice to have friends to talk to too.
This is going to sound offensive but I feel this video was completely useless and basically just sounded like some public ass kissing to me. It really sucks going through a divorce but there's no valuable information provided to those already engaged to a Filipina around what actually went wrong in the relationship and ways to either resolve or compromise on the conflict. There's always going to be a lack of knowing someone fully and I don't really see this as a valid excuse for wanting a divorce. I'm confident in that whatever the real reason is for the breakup, it was not included in this video.
Thanks for nothing.
I agree with you. I think this is one of those elephant in the room situations?
@@mikebenson5840 I want to see marriages succeed, specially between a native Filipina and a "foreigner". However, it is disheartening to see this particular bond fall apart due to a regression in emotional connection (lack of intimacy 🤔), because that's what appears to be lacking in my opinion. But hey, I'm sure they're both decent people and I can't really blame them for wanting to maintain a positive public image.
It's just sad to me that as someone who's at the beginning stages of a similar situation, that there are no real "hard lessons learned" to share in this message. To me the video felt rather emotionally disconnected.
Fair enough guys but always a challenge to figure out how much to share in public.
This is how men think. Marriage is foundational to our psyche because as the Book says, we came from dust and to dust we shall return. Our binary is zero and we will do everything in our power to not be dust.
When my wife said to me that she wants a divorce I was WTF! Like you say, she did not present "a valid excuse" which to me is things like physical abuse or gambling/alcohol addition or infidelity that can't stop. You will never know someone fully because we all change and don't even know ourselves. You may doubt my words but stats are evident. 56% divorce rate and of those that remain married more than 20% do so unhappy, unsatisfied, regretfully. This is why the birth rate across the modern world: Korea, Japan, America... is going down. The system is broken. We don't need each other.
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat honestly as someone considering to marry a Filipina, I would like to hear more details not out of sordid fascination, but because any bit of advice or insight could help me and others. I don’t know if there’s a comfortable way to hear more, but I would like to hear more. Anyways, thanks for sharing and I hope to meet you in person someday. I watched your interview with Mark Thornton (RIP) in the past offering business advice during the cruise ship era and I thought you were his best guest and most interesting guest.The one that “I would like to meet” guest if that makes sense
Most relationship fails because one person was being loved to much & the other wasn’t being loved enough. Thanks for sharing Sir. God bless & Good luck to both of you.
Thank you very much
Love, like life, is a loan and you have to pay it back everyday. Too easy to see it as a thing. John Sexton (divorce lawyer) talks about the 3 ingredients for a good marriage. Loyalty is first. Be their cheerleader and also the loving critic so they see their blind spots. Second is romance/sex/intimacy. Be real, be honest, and skin to skin is so powerful as each can be totally themselves in this bubble of time away from the world. Lastly, consciously value through language and behaviors.
My ex never understood the second ingredient. I tried all the constructive criticism and she bought into the idea from may that you fix the relationship first and the sex will fix itself. That's ridiculous and naive. Most men have a very strong monogamous sex drive that barely declines as we age. If we are monogamous and she is the only meal in town then forcing us into famine is a death spiral to divorce. One has to be deliberate with intimacy. Put it on the calendar like you would all important things.
Wow John.. came as a bit of a shocker. Regardless of the reasons, we're always here to support you. We'll see you soon and save big hugs for then.
Thank you Todd
Many of the gals there view a foreiner as a walking atm and foreiners have to support the family. Not my cup of tea.
Kudos. Thanks for being brave to share your personal life. This takes real guts. I am impressed.
thank you for your support. It means a lot to me
Hi John. Thanks for sharing your personal story. I’m not really in a position to comment much since I hardly know either of you. It sounds like you and your wife made an excellent team business wise. Although you may have had some differing immediate or long-term personal goals or priorities along the way. Often times there is pressure from family and society to stay together, but imo you’re ultimately better off to end a relationship sooner than later once differences become evident however hard it may be. One thing I’ve learned, is sometimes people can grow closer together, while other times they can grow farther apart. Full compatibility can’t be forced. It either happens naturally or it doesn’t. Best wishes to both of you in finding the right person to share your lives with in the future.
Really appreciate your thoughts and support
John,yes I saw some of your earlier vids sorry to hear that its over between you and your x .Good luck my friend and God bless.
Thank you for your support my friend
I hear so many expats say they want a working Filipina. But then the relationship ends up being like a typical Western one. Just like in the West, the modern working woman doesn't have the time or energy to take care of ol John when she gets home tired after long hours of work. If you want a traditional woman, she needs to have traditional roles.
Sorry this happened to you John.
Appreciate your thoughts Gary. I think that can be balance between work but there wasn't any balance in this case
Hehehe. How dare you tell the truth.? Now you can actually have a traditional wife who works, provided maybe you have no children. But there are types of ladies...and men whose life evolves solely around achieving something : a job, a company, academia etc. Those ladies often ww admire them for their grit and determination. But they are rarely wife material..I dated a university professor while doing her PhD in Australia. Wonderful in many regards and desperate for a relationship in he'd mid 30s but the pull of academia was still too strong. Needless to say, I am now married to someone else ...and she is back to her tenure.😂
Yes, if you marry a Filipina and want it to last...... Just keep her home (housewife).......
Problem is if relationship fails with house wife ,
There will be MASS ive Ali Money /ex spousal support , probably for life
Compared to if s He has her own job.
Financial burden of ex Wifi can destroy a man financially,
After that he can’t afford a new partner any more
@@A_Sen_0 Even if you have a working Filipina, most of the financial burden is going to be on you anyway cause they only make small pesos. Better to keep them home taking care of the domestic stuff then you'll have a blissful relationship and less chance of breakup.
Hello John, wow im chocked for both of you. Just reset life again my friend and Enjoy. I have been busy offline a long time bit trying to grt back and watch your videos again. Take care and can we have a call someday soon?
Thank you. Sure, send me a message on Facebook
Very best of luck with your future plans John . Wish you every success.
All the best to you both as you start a new phase in your life.
Thank you very much
Thank you for sharing. I have been here full time since March of this year. My Filipina and I are getting married in 4 months. This was insightful. Thank you again.
Ive always wanted to be just a housewife doing wife duties, i met this guy, he said im the woman he is always looking to marry, but all of a sudden , he pushes me be better, get a better paying job be productive, be independent😢, that really hurt me,im lost right now. From the start i told him im poor and will have almost nothing to offer financially unlike the girls she dated before, they have careers, rich but the relationships failed😥
I’m sorry to hear that. I know love can be painful
Atleast you was honest about being poor
Congratulations. You deserve to have what you want and to be happy. Great content. I appreciate the honesty. You’re the only one who is open and honest like this. Especially the Duma vloggers paint one side. I have had relationships but never committed as vloggers say and instead work on my relationship with myself. I’ve met so many expats who complain about their wives, gf, and don’t do anything to improve or change. Things aren’t as they seem mostly. It takes years and years to know myself and others. Those who jumped in a many times regretful. Fortunately I listen to my instinct and conscience
Thank you for your kind comment and support
Life happens, and I admire that you made changes you felt necessary. Wish you all the best, John.
Thank you my friend
So long as the marriage is based on love, nothing goes wrong. You will weathered everything. I met my American husband when I came here in America as a nurse 25yrs ago. We dated for 4yrs before tying the knot to make sure we fully knew each other. Known each other for 23yrs and married for 19yrs and counting. Watching from Denver, CO
In case anyone is interested, to get a divorce,
One simply obtains the divorce/decree outside the country, brings the decree back with them and the divorce will be recognized under Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code).
In cases however where a Filipino citizen contracts a marriage with a foreigner, a divorce validly obtained thereafter in a foreign court by the foreigner spouse, i.e. the foreigner spouse initiated the divorce proceedings, such a divorce will be recognized under Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code).
There's more required that I share in the second follow up video and will have a third with more specific details this week
You are right , we recognize foreign judgment here. I just dont know the proceedings .
So very sorry to hear the news you shared. Life can and will alway present you with challenges. I am sorry you find this to be one of them. Take care and I wish you both nothing but good things in your future.
Thank you very much
That's the speech I gave to my two children last month. Life will present obstacles. Some you do to yourself (we all make mistakes) and some life brings to you. So what do you do when you have a problem? You need two things: a map and to do something different.
And you sleep on it. Both things you are excited about like a new toy and things you are troubled by. I told them I was sleeping on it for a year before deciding what I will do. I feel like I have already made up my mind (retire early and go abroad) but yes, "good things in your future" is the them song for troubled times. We will see....
Did you file for divorce in the Philippines or did you file for it in the United States? And how much did it cost?
Neither. I filed in Guam. The attorney was about $1800 from what I remember.
Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to hear the respect in your telling of your story.
Much appreciated
Ive got a feeling of deja vu though for feeling sad of knowing relationship does not last long. I have been very fond of this one foreign couple blogger who Im rooting to have what can I say a solid foundation of emotional connection that's just cannot be untie by the charms of any elements that the passes through, unfortunately the guy did was charmed and the lady at her first blogs , I so feel her. It's just maybe I do not differentiate a bloggers life to a somekind of a movie or a short love story documentary. I don't know the world of vloggers how they really manage not to be carried away not to talk their personal life, since everything might become a topic one day. It is never a talk that is simply to pass a content, it is how one would manage to deliver it and still have his/her moment to grasp it. After all there's more than just emotion invested in a relationship. I believe there's no animosity between the two of you after this since I can sense calmness between the two of you.
Thank you for sharing and your support
shit happens. Even not knowing your wife, I felt a lost something in that respect when we met. The good thing is that life offers great opportunities in business and love life alike.. You are a good man and I am sure so she is. Both strong and will make it and be glad you can grow in the Philippines a country that is more loving than the US right now. I wish both of you happiness and joy.😍
Thank you Paul. Appreciate your words
question going thru same thing where did get your divorce from in what country? u mention no divorce in the philippines? how much did cost?
I got a divorce in Guam. It cost about $2000 for the divorce but had to fly there and stay seven days. It took 6 weeks to try everything completely finished because we both signed and agreed on the divorce
Sorry John. Appreciate your honesty on a difficult topic. I have a pinay girlfriend but no plans to marry again. Just don’t have faith in it anymore sadly
I understand you my friend. It's difficult
Thank you for sharing your story with Grace,John. I believe you are a great guy, and you will do just fine moving forward.
Thank you Steve, that means a lot to hear from you.
@WatchCaliforniaExpat We will be back in the Philippines around August-September. We will plan to get together with you at that time. Pencil us into your schedule, please. I know you are a busy man.
@@stevelawson68 Will make time for sure
Unfortunately work and children can get in the way of relationships. I stayed single after my divorce at age 35. Not working seems like a necessity for me to devote enough time to my relationship. Best wishes to both of you.
Much appreciated
How did you manage it?
I'm a few days away from the divorce being final and already at peace. My life is perfect. Except the power of Eros won't be ignored. Perhaps chastity brings it's own power over time? Most days I feel empowered but then Eros sneaks in and ruins things. Eros is very sneaky; enticing with words like love and visions of intimacy.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x Joining a church and praying for the answers helps. For me a 19 year old was available to me, but I waited until I was financially able to start my new family. So I've discovered that God's plan was best. My wife left me 24 years ago and that's when my new wife was born. She's 24 now and we met online when she was 19 during COVID.
2Pet.3
[8] But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
Great story 😊
Thanks for listening
Been married for 12 years but when your an expat in the Philippines single and ready to mingle is the best place to be.
True story. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing. Hopefully it works out for you in the end and you meet someone more suited to your lifestyle.
Thank you very much
God bless you both everything happens for a reason and thereis always a Time for Everything
Im sorry to hear this. I always say that people don't get married intending to be divorced. Unfortunately, life happens, and hard choices have to be made sometimes. It can be challenging, but I hope you and your ex can remain good friends, as well as continue to enjoy life in Davao. Thanks for sharing.🙏
56% divorce rate in America. And the humorous aspect of this is that within five years 85% of people will remarry.
If it was any other system, driving your car for example, and you had a terrible accident 56% of the time then you would not keep driving. But here we are with love. All of us staring at the moon and being drawn by it's allure. There must be something very powerful in our need for it. Perhaps like life, we all know we are going to die but we continue to play the game. It's kind of beautiful in tragic sense.
@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x your description is fitting, beautiful in a tragic way. Despite tragedy, there's a sense of fulfillment when one eventually finds love. It brings hope and strengthens resolve.
I didn't know the statistics. Looks like I'm in danger of falling under the 15%. Life being life.
I really don’t take advice from people in fail marriages and relationships…if you haven’t been married for 30 or 40 + years and can tell me the obstacles you over came to be where you are now because it wasn’t then I don’t wanna hear…because people now a days men and women don’t know 💩 about marriage and what it means
I care very little if someone chooses to take my advice or not. Though I think there's opportunity to learn from other's failures as much as their successes.
Fascinating. I watched a divorce video months ago where the american woman described her "conscious uncoupling" from her husband. She said that he was wonderful but more Buddhist and content whereas she was always wanting to grow and go and grow and go. As she spoke it felt like a western mind virus that had taken over female psyche. As you explained this I was then shocked that you were the relationship first partner with a Filipina.
Pressure to get married in their culture is something that has bothered me as I consider a move there in 2025. I've been married. Twice! Marriage is a broken system and I don't want to do it again. James Sexton describes marriage as the moon and people mistake their pointing at the moon as marriage. In other words, they each have a picture of the moon but they are not the same. And problems come.
I'm so glad that you have a solid head on your shoulders with this. Honestly, I don't think I have the capacity to endure another divorce. And if I were to sell everything I know here in the States and relocated to my adventure there, it would be a soul sucking dark hole; standing at the bottom of this bottomless pit I'm not sure I'd be able to cope. You've got sensibility and youth on your side brother. Time to go fishing again. Godspeed.
Sorry to hear this , But it’s got be tough still working together after divorcing . Trusting someone after a divorce to be able to trust them in business is tough I hope you’re being careful.
Appreciate it Dave
Hey, I was married for 6 years in ph after knowing my ex online for 2 years. We didn't get along as the years went by and finally I went back to Europe and got an online divorce...ok we didnt have kids or property so it took about 6 months for it to be finalised...so as far as I'm concerned I'm divorced and will never marry again 😊
Sorry to hear that John. We hope the transition will be as smooth as possible.
Take care 🙏
Thank you guys, hope you are doing great
You're a nice guy and I mean that in a good way. I like you, you are kind. You can tell that you feel a bit sad which is logical.
Hope you can cope the situation in meantime. And yes, the lockdowns and everything else in that time killed us also in relationships. I can never forgive or forget the damage it created.
Appreciate that. I'm happily divorced at the moment lol, but it was difficult to go through at the time
You didn't rush. You just chose wrongly, as I did too. Anyone can make a mistake.
Appreciate that
Congratulations my friend and I hope you will learn your lesson…
Sorry to hear your news. Hope things work out to your mutual benefit. It appears you have lifted each other up and I suspect you always will, just not husband and wife. Continued good luck to you both. You stand out as a good guy especially in comparison to the nut cases down in Dumaguete.
I appreciate your support Greg. Than you for commenting.
wow its legit a personal vedio sir, in my openion mybe its not a true love i think, & ur correct sir need moreee getting to know b4 decided.,
Thank you for your support 😊
Its a hard blow. Go easy on yourself and take time to heal.
Thank you Steve
Sorry to hear this kuya. ❤
Thank you Sammi
So how long take to get divorced?
The route I went took me 1 week in Guam and then 6 weeks after to receive the divorce decree
Lots of love brother ❤
Thank you my sister
Sooo…… I shouldn’t let the girl I’ve been talking to for 3 days on PinaLove pick me up at the airport and move in with her family?
No you should not...
@@LodeNid but she’s so convincing
@@MarsOcto Sooner or later you will find out if she is only after your money or if she wants to establish a long-lasting relationship. Women that only want your money and not your person tend to keep other women out of sight by picking you up at the airport...but you may be lucky and be met with genuine sympathy. The bottom line is not to marry the first 5 years and to opt for a kind of business partnership instead, and if you do marry make sure there is a possibility of divorce.
3 days plus 3 years
I really honestly don't think of it as Filipina or Expats, it is about PEOPLE! I was married to a woman from Colombia, she told me that she married me for my money and for citizenship after we got married and then told me that I was stupid., it is all about people motives and love, when you truly love a person, it doesn't matter, what matter is finding common ground and solutions, it is a constant fight, you just gave up., just the reality of it.
I sure did give up. The best way forward sometimes in life is a step backwards
YOU have my respect!
@@oofyrog thank you sir
Hi, I would like to ask what if the marriage are in between two Filipinos and would file a divorce in Guam? Is Guam Divorce applicable in this situation?
I'm sorry but I don't think so
May I know what Law office did you hire? I have been in contact a family law office there I raised that issue but they said it can be done but will not be recognized in the Philippines.
Thank you..
The old adage is this: take your time. everyone is on their best behavior for the first year or so. Wait until you see them at their worse and then decide can you spend the rest of your life with this person. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF when doing this. Stop thinking of the fairy tale or the good sex your most likely having. Think of the personality and if something happens to her, are you willing to remain faithful and take care of her, and will she do the same for you!
Is it possible to divorce a marriage even if there is no contact with him? I'm A Filipina married for 20 years but my husband who is a foreigner left me 16 years ago, I don't know how to locate him since he went to the USA for the reason his mother died, after that We lost our communication..
Yes it is possible. I'd recommend talking to an attorney
Things happen. Good luck to both of you. ❤
Thank you very much
Sorry to hear the news John. Great presentation on this subject.
Much appreciated.
John, not the best news ... but thanks for sharing. Take care of yourself, and onwards and upwards in Davao
Appreciate that. Are you in Davao too?
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat John, we're not in Davao, but we'll love to visit there at some stage ... when we do, we'll reach out to you, to see if you're free to get together
@@txtworld I'll look forward to seeing you
Oh john that sucks mate especially seeing u had been divorced before all the best mate
Appreciate it
Seems more of a certain Hollywood divorce like George Hamilton and Alana Collins. They divorced but still get along. AC married Sir Rod Stewart but divorced, yet, they also get along.
Some working couples 💑 just do not blend well as marriage partners. This is like having a work wife and a family wife.
Appreciate that.
Wow John I’m shocked 😮….so sorry for the both of you… I pray you both remain friends at least… Stay close to God😊
Thank you
I'm a first time viewer so I don't know your story, but I was a leader of a divorce recovery group for several years. Our society isn't geared towards the traditional family where the man is the leader and the woman follows, women, even Filipinas, want to control the family. Many people don't realize that the Philippine family is run by the woman and her family. It is what it is, no judgements. Given the high rate of unhappy marriages, maybe marriage isn't a viable way to live your life. Think about how women change, both physically and emotionally, is a long term relationship even a good idea where the state controls the terms?
Hi Tim, that's a tough question. What is your feeling after leading a recovery group for years?
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat That all depends on how you see basic female nature. If you still have the old world thinking that women are sugar and spice then you should roll the dice again and play a game that has very few winners. Even the guys that appear to be winners are miserable and wish they had picked more wisely. That's the fly in the ointment, there is no wiser choice of women as it all goes back to basic female nature. This isn't something to be mad about, it is just how it has always been and will always be. If you see the logic in what I'm saying then act in a way that will bring good things into your life for the long term.
@@timlee5260Very interesting thoughts that would make for an interesting conversation if not here.
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat Many people regard Mike Tyson as a meathead, maybe he is dumb enough to speak thee truth to a gynocentric world. "You're mother will do everything she can to help you,...every other woman will do everything she can to help herself." Over half the people will reject those words and call Mike names, the other half has lived out the truth of his words. Best of luck to you.
This is why I've never been married and if I ever do before I die it will be an AI robot. 😂
Lol smart man
Yes yes & it won't say no....
Sorry buddy. I believe when one door closes another one opens. And another one is everything happens for a reason. One last one your life will be better in the future I promise.
Very much appreciated. I needed to hear that
You are a gentleman sir. I hope everything works out well for you.
Thank you very much
A divorce between a filipino and a foreign national will only be recognized if the marriage and divorce took place outside the country. If you were married in the Ph, goodluck with that.
There is a process for it I mention in the follow up video
Sorry to hear John. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Jude
Sorry to hear that your marriage didn’t work out, and I appreciate you sharing something so personal. Being divorced myself, I understand what a difficult situation it can be, so I hope you’re both handling it well. It came as a shock, considering that I just saw a video a few days ago about another well known UA-cam couple who do videos about the Philippines getting divorced, and because of extremely similar reasons. It’s something that I would expect more in Western culture than with a Filipina. Do you feel that Filipino culture is becoming more Westernized in some ways?
Filipino culture remains forever because it is part of Philippine history. However, those few Filipinos who has colonial mentality embracing the western culture.
Excellently done and handled
Thank you very much
My pleasure, be patient, please.@@WatchCaliforniaExpat
“I'm not sure what to do with my hands.”
Sorry dear but never loose hope, i know she was not meant for you, your right one is coming you will be happ again trust me. Visit Uganda is a good country too with beautiful people. Watching you from Uganda.
Thank you
Thank you for your support
I have never been to Uganda but the women seem to be gorgious ,
athletic , tall
way better than filipinas,
but I have not found yet other reasons to visit it ,
beautiful landscape I can have in many places and to go to a very poor country is always a challenge
don't feel the urge so far since it's gonna be expensive trip and the outcome in regards to women is always vague 😂
German 60 yrs
Damn John, my heart goes out to you. I’m actually divorcing in the states because she choose career over relationship. So I’m off to PH to live differently and hopefully better.
Same thing for me here, but certainly more rare here. I feel for you too and I'm sure you will have a far better situation here.
Your not the first and you won’t be the last !!!
Very true
Partners don't work...
A wife is a wife...and a business partner is a business partner...
99% of the time I'm sure your right. Though every now and then I see it work
sorry to hear that sir John
Salamat po
Sorry things didn't work out for you two. I'm really interested in seeing your next video though, about how you went through with divorce in the Phillipines. I have only ever heard, over and over again, that there is no divorce in the Phillipines, only annulment for certain cases such as if one partner contracts a serious STD or something. Hoping you won't spare the details and really tell us what happened and how you got a divorce there, thanks.
It's live now. Hope you find it helpful and will be one more to come from someone who helps with the process
So you did get a divorce? thanks for sharing.
Yes I did.
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat That's rough brother. Stay well.
Your transparency is beautiful, John. I lost my wife 24 years ago. I’ve heard divorce has similar earmarks in pain. I did not even know you were married. I read Gracie’s post and certainly she’s an amazing woman. You’re an amazing man, so you both have been blessed and remain blessed. This was the most tender video and certainly painful for both you and Gracie. Pain tends to bring growth and that’s the positive part of life. Mark, in Dallas.
Hi Mark, so sorry to hear you lost your wife. Thank you for your kind and supportive comment.
To me you have to know the psychology of a Filipina, A Western foreigner Expat has a different upbringing and mind frame. So many expats expect a lot from an Asian lady, maybe work got on the way, and that gets its toll on a relationship, An in influx of old senior Cititzen from the West want a relationship with a Filipina with a huge age gap, I hope the future of the women in Philippines will improve and not rely on a Western Foreigner Financially, Age Gap dont matter is too ridiculous for me and outrageous it was a taboo for Asians/Pinay back in the days.! 🙏
I'm considering PI or Thailand for retirement.
In Thailand there is more of a Buddhist mentality in female psychology. They want to achieve and a man will have to be equal or better for a productive life. Age gap is more as it is in America. Perhaps 7 years or 10 years but you would find only amongst the 1% wealthy any big gaps like rich old man and beautiful young woman. I think if an expat retires to Thailand he should expect a place that treats him well (cost of living and lifestyle quite favorable) but not a heart that treats him well. Language by itself is a great obstacle but so is their culture.
Of course, it's not impossible and I have watched some success stories but expats with a heart priority don't feel so incentivized to sell everything and go abroad just for the cost of living. Thailand is a beautiful country though and one can live a very good life that is free from the economic grind we have, on top of the social tensions as is so evident in our wild politics where crime is celebrated and we don't even know what a man or woman is.
I get what you saying though about it seeming taboo for big age gap. I have heard that in modern cultures like America, if you are looking for love with a younger person, then age minus 20 + 7 is a good guide to follow. Anything more and you are too far outside your generation and will not understand each other.
All the best for both of you
thank you very much.
I appreciate all the advice you shared it's very relevant in stepping into more serious relationship.
Im 32 yrs old I have American bf which 5 yrs older than me, we get to know each other for 1 year and after 1 year he came over here in Davao City for 5 days and we officially started our relationship and we are currently in moths official relationship right now And we're planning to get married this 2025, I know it's very important to be cautious in all aspects in life my bf wants us to sign a prenuptial agreement,
I understand how this agreement helps a lot but unfortunately it also says something on the emotion of the other person in the relationship. I love my bf but as a woman I felt a strange feeling of doubting the life that we are about to share together. Is it common in American to have a prenuptial agreement?
By the way, Thank you for sharing your story. Its an eye opening for everyone.
Honest and respectful to Grace. Good video!
Thank you 🙏
Nothing new. Western men are already divorced before they go to the Philippines. But they will be divorced. It's Normal for them.
I see more successful foreign-filipina relationships though.
It's seems that being a good and kind person is a mistake these days. Sadly.
I understand what you mean
No. Good and kind is never a mistake.
Divorce is more common than a successful marriage because it is a broken system. People are not broken, although we may not have the right tools for navigating this rapidly changing world. In modernity, woman do not need men. Perhaps AI girlfriends will soon solve this for men as well. Birth rates are falling across modernity: Korea, Japan, US... and some sort of change will have to be designed as their doesn't seem to be any way to get the ketchup back in the bottle.
Hi John, your story is one of said ones i ever heard about. The fact she divorced from you means that the reason why she accepted to marry you was not really what you thought to be. It shows clearly that she looked for financial security from you. You guys have you at least had children together?
I think she had a daughter from her past relationship,
Best of luck to you both.
Thank you very much
My take: He wanted a hard working wife, he got a hard working wife. He decided he wanted a stay at home servant, he got divorced.
May be He wanted a 9am to 3pm wife not 9am to 9pm 😅
I think your crystal ball failed you
Intercultural, diferent views and opinoin. Huge expectation in an interracial relationship. Later on a reality shock . I am married to EU guy for now 38 years.
You have my sympathy. Divorce is never easy.
I agree that you shouldn't rush, but that's not a guarantee and Filipina tend to push and rush. They meet you at the airport and move right in. I always warn that you don't get an accurate picture by just talking to Filipina.
Appreciate your sympathy. You are right.
I'm holding my breath john... I'm not ready to watch this yet... You two were my my pandemic couple 🥹🥹
I'll watch it before the night ends john
Fully support you and your channel ☺️
Thank you so much. Sorry to make you 🥺
Awh John... From the bottom of my heart, I truly sympathize with what you are going through... 😔
Even though I never met you or Grace, whenever I would watch you guys on your channel or Meljean's, I just instantly loved you two...
I'll always continue to support both of your channels, John
@@limtseho3540 Thank you ☺️ 🙏
First 2 minutes of the vid pretty much sums up the reason for your divorce. You are too clingy Louie Anderson
stay well - divorce sucks for everyone except lawyers
So true. Thank you
so you got your divorce then back in the USA?
No, in Guam, a US territory
there are factors that make a relationship lasts, the crucial one is compatibility.
True. Also ability to work through disagreement in a healthy way and care what matters most to each other
@@WatchCaliforniaExpat (sometimes) we have to agree to disagree and compromise or meet halfway to avoid disputes and spites.
@@gracia130Yes I agree
real unconditional love can be found between parents and their children
to find a good spouse i's vital that both are generous and open to bring more to the table , to find a generous women is very hard and even unlikely amongst the good looking ones
additional features add up , most men look mainly for beauty failure must be prevalent
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
There are tough questions to this situation that might never be answered if asked. Looking back at the beginning of your relationship, did she use you as a quick stepping stone to lift herself up? I see so many filipinas that use foreigners to get ahead in life, some follow through for real and many are in it for "business", then they want to move on.
She was a hard working person with money in the bank before I ever met her. No one used anyone, we just weren't a fit with priorities in marriage.
Sorry bud. Hope you're both in a better place soon.
Thanks James, much appreciated