When intentionally spilling red wine on a while wedding dress is the BEST thing you could do at someone's wedding. lol That is absolutely taking one for the team. I love it.
Knew a man in my hometown whose parents essentially forced him to become a doctor even though his dream was to be a pianist. After he made some money as a doctor, he quit the medical field, bought 2 grand pianos and now teaches piano for a living. I hope that mother finds the courage to keep her daughter away from the toxic family members.
I wanted my daughter to be a pianist, but she's becoming a doctor. 😂😂😂(Three kids in college right now, and I want them to find their interests. All three are choosing majors that make the world better and I couldn't be more proud)
Ok but the father who allows his mother to talk to his daughter like that is the real villain here. lol Like 100%. That mom clearly did a big number on him if he truly believes that behavior is fine and not completely toxic. I'm assuming he received the exact treatment growing up and is so gaslighted that he can't see it. I wouldn't stay with a man who didn't protect his children. Period.
No family member nor "friend" should cause your child(ren) to cry or feel less than!!! If you hear about or actually hear it, as in this case...IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO STOP IT!! YOU ARE HIS/HER PROTECTOR!! DO YOUR DAMN JOB!!!
First time I a woman knocked out a man it was a suckered punch bc he made my son cry over his weight. When he came around I pepper sprayed him and the bitch went off crying. Guess who has a son that knows his mom has his back. But then again I can be a gorilla in heels.
"Next time in bed say to your husband after you're finished 'I have to say that was disappointing' and see how he liked that constructive criticism" I F*CKING SNORTED IN LAUGHTER 😂 that is the PETTIEST comeback I've ever heard! ☝👏👌
The situation where the grandmother kept criticizing the grand daughter's piano playing broke my heart. When any kid has an adult in their life who always has something critical to say, it gets to them. Makes them feel insecure and their work worthless. It can lead them to be overachievers in the future to the point of burnout. I feel for her.
Since the dad is also not supportive of his daughter playing piano, it seems to me that he wants his mother to say all these awful things so his daughter will stop playing and he doesn't have to take responsibility.
I was thinking the same thing... tbh, if he values his mom so much, maybe he should just go back to live with his mom... divorce his sorry butt and go. can't stand up for your own daughter or wife? He doesn't deserve to be with them then.
as someone who cant play music anymore due to trauma, that mother needs to protect her daughter as much as she can. if that means divorce or some sort of separation from her father and grandmother, then so be it. i dedicated my life to music out of necessity, despite the pain (physical and emotional) it caused me. i finally changed my path in life after a bout of physical therapy, and have only gotten better from here. i know my situation is a lot different than the girl in the story, but for her sake, her mother needs to make some serious changes
I agree, the husband sounds awful. Not only he and his mom are on the same team and are clearly trying to force the daughter to become a doctor, which she's not interested in (also who said you can't be a doctor or whatever else and play the piano too cause youlike it??), he doesn't care about the kid's feelings and is ok with her constantly getting hurt + gaslights the wife. That woman needs to get her shit together and RUN.
I agree. As someone who can't play certain instruments due to a bit of similar trauma and instances, I can say that being brought down is a really big blow especially if the thing you are being criticized about is your passion. It's been 5 years for me, and the people that brought me down are already out of contact with me and it's still a bit hard to hold the guitar but I'm adjusting and getting better. I was even able to play 1-2 songs. Still, I'm an adult and it took me 4-5 years to be able to get over with. I can't imagine how that child is dealing with it. Edit: My guitar was smashed into bits- by some sr. In high school. Of course I told my parent even tho I was scared (kinda like an "accident" my mother was furious and said that they wouldn't buy me another instrument because of how my instruments gets ruined. Ofc I was devastated even more. My father bought me another tho and tho mama was upset then, ik she was just angry and was having an outburst. They didn't say a thing, I just cried in my room because ik they still support me (playing the guitar) tho it was just hanged up in the wall til I decided to play again. My father is not vocal but he shows his support and love through his silent action that actually has a big impact to me. So seeing as her father was an ignorant MF just piss me off more.
Throw out the whole husband and grandmother, they've gone rotten! Being told "you're not good enough" over and over just kills the desire to do anything at all.
I was thinking this same thing! It should have been brought up right away. If the grandmother loved her grandkid she wouldn't be so mean, and I am floored that the father sees nothing wrong with it. like his relationship with her is more important. freaking mamas boy. constructive criticism doesnt not leave kids nervous and in tears every time they see you. thats technically abuse and shes destroying that relationship.
I was born on my moms birthday, we are 28 years apart and she’s always acted like it’s only her birthday. The only party I ever had was my 1st birthday party and she still tried to make it about her. My 16th, 18th and 21st? Didn’t exist, just about her. When I met and married my husband I found out his moms birthday is the same as mine as well. She’s so excited to share a birthday and even though we live several states apart we’re planning a belated birthday lunch when we come to visit in June.
I hope you and your husband have celebrated YOU on your birthday without your mother around. I'm so sorry, that is just so selfish and horrible of her.
I’m so sorry. My mom’s birthday is the day before mine and she would often forgo celebrating her’s so that mine wouldn’t feel like a second. She even tried to have me the day before hers so I wouldn’t be after her because she never wanted me to feel second to her. Now that I’m older we see it as double the fun and I always make sure to celebrate her’s as much as mine. My birthday would also sometimes fall in Father’s Day so if that happened we’d celebrate her’s and mine the day before and then my dad the day after.
I'm sorry your mom treated you that way. As a mother it hurts my heart, I could not do that to my kids. Their birthdays are precious days to me, I always have a few moments when I get misty eyed remembering their entrance into the world and our first moments together. And I always tell them the story of being born and how happy I was and how much I love them. I just can't fathom what her thought process is. I'm so glad that your mother in law is so much sweeter. I hope you have a great birthday lunch
For a child, the act of going out and performing in front of a crowd is a success and show of strength on its own, regardless of the quality of the performance. And she will carry that bravery and everything else she learns from piano with her no matter what her career ends up being. The arts and anything that brings you joy have value beyond profit.
My biggest job (and JOY) as a grandmother is praising my grandchildren! I love every single thing they do (Well, our grandson is a champion gas-passer and I refuse to tell him it's wonderful. Ha!) I can't imagine any loving grandparent criticizing - especially if he/she is not in a position to help! Proud Mimi over here!!! ❤❤❤
Needless to say I would be critiquing every single thing the MIL did from that moment on - food, parties, decorations, clothes, etc. EVERYTHING. And if she or the son had a problem I will tell her that I was just “telling it like it is, I learned it from her”
I wouldn't take that approach as the parent but I would teach my daughter to do that. The fact that the daughter ran off crying is something that I would address because she needs to learn how to stand up to bullies. Doesn't matter if this is granddad, grandma, or mom and dad. A bully is a bully and they respond to strength!
As a pianist of (almost) 6 years, the story with the daughter’s performances and the grandmother pointing out each and every single flaw; not to mention flat out telling her that the performance was a “disappointment”?! How the hell does one have the balls to say that to a 13 year old kid who’s just learning an instrument?! The mother handled the situation like a champ, the husband didn’t even do shit in standing up for his child. The first thing ANY parent should think about is their CHILD. I do NOT care if it’s your mother or your father, but when your child’s self-esteem is berated; let alone being put down by her own grandmother and the FATHER does nothing?! Absolute mama’s boy for sure. Ultimately, I don’t think OP is the AH in this. Her reasoning is solid. If I were her, I would do the same thing she did. Also, if anyone is a beginner pianist, don’t let jerks bring you down just because you mess up a few notes. You’re learning and with practice and patience you’ll get better everyday! ✨
Tbh if Dad and MIL are already trying to pressure a 13-year-old girl into being a doctor, nothing that girl does will ever be good enough for them. It’s not even about the instrument, it’s that she’s not following their pre-written life plan. Also hobbies are just worthless, I guess? You don’t have to be good at something for it to enrich your life.
I'm not surprised by the things some people say to their children. my friends ex-husband once yelled at his two year old ( now 4) for not throwing a fit when she has to walk. which was not true he was just jealous of me and the our friend Jon because his kids like us more then him. so he picked her up and the 4 month old baby and left. i was just like so you want you daughter to do the opposite of what you're doing. however what made me laugh was 15 min later i was walking around with her and she was perfect we passed him. of course he then asked her if she stole a keychain i gave her. like im sorry your daughter is two ahe can barely talk and has no idea what you mean.
I'd have the kid play the next performance - a duet with Grandma. Just wheel a second piano out and call the old bag up on stage. Have a page turner point at middle C and stop playing every time that note occurs in the piece, have the guy point and wait until Grandma poinks that key. Five minutes of comedy gold. Then go nc
My mother was a lot like this. She would say things to purposely embarrass people. And then use the excuse "I'm just telling the truth". And she wondered why I never wanted to see her after my parents divorced. 😮 Classic narcissist using the "telling the truth" reason to insult people.
Same. Decades of suffering and being forced to forgive and respect her because she is the mother, but not anymore. I just found out about narcissism and oh boy, it all makes sense. They are evil and don’t change.
I have a coworker who ‘just says it like it is’. She’s been getting so insufferable with her childish antics, and she won’t change, because ‘it’s just how she is’
"Telling it as it is". More like, "telling it as I see it". They're not the same. In fact, individuals like this usually have a pretty warped, self-serving perspective on things. They think they're being clever using the 'truth bomb' excuse when they're really just demonstrating their poor impulse control and lack of emotional intelligence. That said, they know it's not okay. The give-away is their utter indignation when treated the way they treat others.
I ended up being the “golden child” growing up. It was not great. I grew up seeing how miserably my mom treated my siblings (my dad went to prison when I was young, so he wasn’t in the picture growing up), and so I must have subconsciously thought that if I suppress everything about myself and let her do whatever, I’d be loved. I watched her sit there and make commentary on how each of us must look perfect and pretty at all times, would casually call us ugly, comment on things about our bodies that we couldn’t change (eg., our breasts, one of my sister’s noses, weight gain due to medical conditions that she wouldn’t get us treatment for…) and control every aspect of everything she did. She even set me up with my first boyfriend who was toxic and coerced me on multiple occasions through our seven year relationship after I told her I didn’t think I wanted to get married (For context, I’m aro/ace and just cannot see myself in physically or romantically intimate relationships). My eldest sister is actually considered mentally disabled because of her PTSD from our mom and barely leaves her bedroom or office if she’s not accompanied by her dogs. I did everything and anything my mom said because I was dead to rights convinced that if I didn’t, I would die alone and miserable and burn in Hell. It took me about four years after her new husband kicked me out for me to realize she wasn’t a saint who deserved the kind of love and affection I showed her, and another five to figure out who the hell I was (Fun Fact! I’m still figuring that out, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it). Now, just like every other child she had except her eldest son and youngest daughter, I am a disappointment and need to be prayed for, because I am trans nonbinary, I will not be marrying, and - gasp - will never let her near any children I will be having. I currently live in America, and plan to move to Norway with the guy I’m co-parenting with for a multitude of reasons, but that is one of the bigger ones. Might be a bit petty of me to be choosing to move to an entirely different country in an entirely different continent to keep her out of the picture, but hey! We’re here with the Duchess of Petty, bite me She drove through Canada to Alaska to see some of her grandchildren, I’m not taking risks.
Oh my god I’m so sorry you and your siblings went through that. That is so messed up. I don’t think you moving to another country is petty at all. You’re also protecting your kids. That woman is a monster. I hope you and your siblings are okay now.
Hey, if anything - you do need an invitation from a family member to make coming to Norway easier. I should know: I moved across the globe to get away from my mother.
As a person who played piano for 18 years now, since I was very young I can't even imagine how bad could it feel back then, if my granny just casually told me that "this concert was disappointing". That's just disgusting.
I'm thinking that the husband might be letting the grandmother criticize everyone else so that he's no longer in MIL's radar so it's actually really scummy of him? For once he's not the one always being criticized and he's letting his daughter suffer because it's normal for him therefore he sees nothing wrong. Divorce.
My youngest daughter self taught the viola and was tied for first chair before the school year was over. She loved it and I am so proud of her. In-laws did the same thing and before she went to high school a year later she quit. I didn't find out it was because of them until years later. My blood boils.
At 20 y/o I volunteered at a hospital & thought it was despicable that some 50 & up had no visitors, understandable if they had no family, otherwise growing up family-oriented I didn't understand. I was naive. Then I met people, 2 sisters who were raped by their own Dad, others with physically or mentally abusive parents & I came to an understanding... some of them deserved to be alone in the hospital room, they brought it upon themselves. There are always 2 sides to the story so I shouldn't judge!
Trust me, when my parents retire, I'm dumping them in the shittiest retirement home. But like, pay the nurses extra on the side to take time off for mental health days because my parents are vicious snakes that don't deserve the bare minimum care.
You were naive. I am sort of grateful I learnt all that at age 12. It messed up my trust in the world in adults - but if that trust had existed I am pretty sure I would have been raped or even murdered by old strangers who assumed all kids are obedient towards adults even strangers and straight up ordered me into their homes, cars, to sit next to them, stay still while he's just fixing his fly... My father raped his first two daughters when they were 6. My mother didn't know. She never found out I think. She also had children from previous marriage they both had been married with children before. He picked her because she was very rich at the time (he fixed that issue for us, I was raised in poverty after hitting 11). I was the only child they made. My father tried to rape my oldest sister his stepdaughter. She was 15. She spoke up 15 years later. My mother's reaction was not enough. After years of knowing even as a child something is off with my father I came to an even worse understanding. People like that get together for a reason. If you find out some stuff not that he's a child rapist, but just your senses are tingling stuff is off, watch out. It took me years to accept that there was a reason why my parents chose each other. In many ways she was the person that messed me up most. There is a specific reaction from people when they learn their loved one is a monster that is active. Because we can all be monsters it's just about not using it. People who discover something about their spouse and just leave them even when they still love the person because shit is too messed up, these people are innocent. But my mother didn't divorce my father much earlier for a reason. Sadly my sisters think none of abuse I experienced was as bad as theirs since I wasn't beaten and raised by him treated like a saint. I would raise a counterpoint of family situation so distressing at age 13 I was hoping it would turn out I am schizophrenic and it's all in my head. I tried suicide twice,it does a number on you to see your mother have no reaction other than anger you're embarrassing her in front of strangers like doctors in hospital giving you 16 stitches. And never raises a topic of your experience ever. Its been years. I have today fibromyalgia partly caused by my perfect picture perfect childhood. PTSD as well both diagnosed. Some people should never be parents and no one can harm their children more.
This, i've seen many older people dying alone and then the public would condemn their children for ignoring "filial piety" and not giving back the responsibility of taking care of their parents. Now as an adult, i fully understand why those children left their toxic parents, my sisters and I are all purposefully taking jobs FAR from home so we don't have to go back except holidays (sometimes we will make excuses so we don't have to go back all year round). On the outside my parents look like those responsible proud parents, but in reality they are those over-involved helicopter parents who thinks their children are the extension of themselves. Imagine being forced into studying in college courses that are too much for you, parents insulting your dream and talents and then blames you when you fail, smh.
I can definitely relate to this. My mom has been extremely emotionally and now financially abusive in order to control me, my siblings, and my dad. I've had her gaslight me to the point I don't trust my memory very well. She's stigmatized emotion in the whole house to the point no one ever really shows anything except anger. I never got to the point of being angry, and being the oldest I got berated the most due to my high sensitivity and inability to physically stop myself from crying. She convinced all my siblings that there was something wrong with me to where my younger sister (who was around 12 at the time) told me I needed to go to a mental hospital for crying, because my mom would scream at me saying "either you stop crying and act like an adult or I'm going to send you to pschy". She also has been telling me to quit band since I was a sophomore in high school and still tells me to quit college marching band. I'd rather die than not be in the band. For the financial control thing, she likes to spend money on "gifts" and then use them against me. This includes a letterman jacket, college tuition, and other things. My siblings will also use this against me where everyone tells me "I'm being ungrateful" since I avoid going back to my house (I spend my breaks with my now fiance) and every time I even try to criticize our mom in any way. I'll try explaining to my younger siblings how the way our mother treats us, especially me and our dad is not ok and is abusive, but the younger one's will just say "but she pays for stuff" like it excuses everything else. There's a whole lot more I could talk about but I think the absolute worst thing she does is the verbal and emotional abuse of our father. The poor man just takes it and has told us numerous times to just take it like there isn't any other way to deal with her. She tells him, us, and anyone who has ears how lazy my dad is, how he used to drink and do drugs, that he's stupid, doesn't appreciate her, probably flirts with other women, etc. It's awful. He's such an awesome man and completely opposite of what she claims. He's incredibly smart and hard working, he was top of his class when going to college years after high school, he's a carpenter and extremely talented, he's a whole lot nicer to us, has a lot of patience, and has been clean for over 20 years. I don't mean to have favorite parents... but my admiration falls a lot heavier on one than the other.
Sounds a lot like my mom. Was essentially my exact childhood as well. When they finally divorced my brother and I really started to see through all the bs she always fed us about our dad. Still even 8 years after their divorce she constantly makes comments to my brother and I about how shitty our dad was. Absolute projection on her part as we’ve come to realize she is a horrible person.
Just saying it’s very likely *she caused* the extreme sensitivity and inability to stop crying that she berated you for, which is perfectly normal in that situation. Childhood trauma is a hell of a thing. I hope you're in therapy and your siblings grow to see you were right.
The one about the grandma made me so sad, poor girl. My girls grandad (on her dads side) came over during the holidays and commented on her weight, that she had put some on and was starting to look fat 😤 nope 🙅🏻♀️ I had words with him then he did it again… told my partner he wasn’t welcome back in my house. Haven’t seen him since Christmas, it’s lovely.
if your child is gaining weigh please help her lose it before she gets fat, been fat is depressing and awful, I am saying it as an overweigh person. Love her but help her too
@@lilianamejia9034 My daughter is very healthy, thank you for your concern. Her grandad is not a very nice man, constantly throwing nasty comments around about peoples weight/race/sexuality.
Really hope that second story ends with an eventual divorce and the girl's mother gets full custody. His mother is absolutely VILE, and the fact that he's even passively agreeing with her tells me he should be as far from his child as often as possible.
i would rather they work it out than a family splitting event like a divorce garentee that will have a lot worse affect on child’s mental health than what happened. marriage counseling is the best option
@@bullitt3275 I disagree. The man is a mama's boy, not a full grown adult. If he acted like a parent at the beginning, he would have called-out his mom and never invite her again. But HE DIDN'T! With people like him and his mom better to be stay away from that toxic people than being together, specially when it's the case of disrespecting your own child's desire to be something else than a doctor.
It's sad to see people putting up with loved ones criticizing their children like that. Especially from parents/inlaws/family in general. My mothers step mom had a HUGE chokehold on her in that aspect for a long time. My mom would always try to make sure we were dressed and presented perfectly when we went to visit. But that absolute monster always had something to say about how poorly we looked. My mom never let on that this would happen. She just obsessed more and more over making us as a family presentable. Step monster also always had a "favorite" grand child, and it was always one of my brothers. And when my niece was born she made a comment to my mom about how "at least you get to spend time with your grand daughter" (for context, she has a bio grand daughter, I've never met her, I'm sure there's a great reason for that) I've always felt like I never existed to her. When I did exist to her, it was always negative. Needless to say, I never want to see her again. There are so many more stories and examples. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. 🥲
We don’t love this for you. 🥺 I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! Please know that we think you’re wonderful and that Tater Nation would not be the same without you. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, I hope it heals up some from the sharing. ❤️🩹
I'm sorry for you and your Mom 😔 This woman you described is classic narcissistic sociopath. The only way to avoid hurt is to exclude such people from your life. Don't have mercy "cause it's family", they don't have mercy, so why should you.
She is a narcissist. I recently found out about this personality disorder, and I was finally able to understand the sick and mean behaviors of some people in my family. They are everywhere, but when it is family it is specially damaging because we have to interact with them. Just know that it is not about you, it is her projecting her insecurities on others. They feel better when they are tearing others down.
As someone who has endured more than a bit of psicological abuse from a grandfather whose daughter justified and turned a blind eye to his behavior (my mother) the husband of the AITH post made my blood BOIL. I'm never letting people like that get anywhere near my children, I can tell you that much. Family or not, they can rot in hell.
I play the piano, I have 57 piano students in a town with a population of no more than 3,000. I would LOVE to talk to that grandmother and give her a piece of my mind!!!
Y'know, I also had an adult telling me how stupid he thought I was when I was 7 because I was struggling with math. Spoiler alert: it was my father! The bullying didn't stop there, but I feel like that's a preeeetty important highlight. I cut him out of my life when I was 12, and it was honestly one of the best decisions I have ever made. He missed out on my first job, my prom and other dances, my graduation, the release of my book, and everything I've ever done since I told him that I never wanted to hear from him again. I hope that little girl and her mom cut the vile grandmother and awful passive father out of her life -- adult bullies don't deserve any place in a child's life. Period.
My mom was a big daddy’s girl. Every time I saw him, he’d ask about the classes I wasn’t doing well in. This on top of the cheek pinching, ear pulling, birthday spankings, etc, that I always said no to and he kept doing, even into my late teens. Mom always brushed it off, but I couldn’t sleep at their house if he was awake. As an adult, I mentioned these things again in front of my father, but he said he’d always assumed we were safe w grandmother there (she was an angel, and I’ll never understand why she chose my grandfather). Needless to say, I didn’t really grieve when he passed because I had no fond memories of him. I always felt a little guilty about that, but watching this makes me feel a little better. That girl’s father and grandma are wretched, and she will grow up with the mental scars (speaking from experience)
So sorry you had this experience. I can relate. My grandfather used to make fun of how I looked, tickle me really hard even when I told him to stop, call me hurtful names, give me wet willys (licking his finger and sticking it in my ear), and more. I hated it and he made me cry, which he'd then call me a cry baby and to get over it. My dad (his son) never stood up to him because it was "just a joke". I don't see either of them anymore. They're both incredibly toxic people I'm happier without.
I was the same about my paternal grandmother at her funeral. I wasn't really sad or grieving. She was a cold woman and didn't like little kids because they would dirty up her house and she always made sure it was spotless (go figure.... lovely lady). On the flip-side, my paternal grandfather was so warm and sweet and everyone loved him.
@Danielle King. Same here. My mother once explained her mom to us as someone who was raised in the "children should be seen and not heard" era. This explanation came after a visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house that resulted in a huge fight between our dad and grandmother because she yelled at us for jumping on beds and being loud and my dad didn't appreciate someone else yelling at us for once lol. Never been upset that my mom would go for years without speaking to her mother.
My (now ex) husbands mom convinced him to move us across the country to be closer to them. I did not want to, but got kinda railroaded into it. Well wouldn’t you know, in the 2 years since we’ve been here with her heavily influencing our lives, our marriage caved. In November when we were having problems, I took my rings off. I later found texts from her telling him to kick me out, change the locks and drain our bank accounts. He said “she’s just trying to protect me” 😂 I’m the mother of her grandchildren, and I have no one here. She was straight up going to have me be homeless if he had taken her advice. Fuck that biiiitch.
I remember hearing a story from one of my friends (who is fluent in ASL) about one of his classmates. She was very good, picked up the language quickly and wanted to become an interpreter. Graduation rolls around and she’s selected to be interpreter for the whole school. She does very well except for a flub. Afterwards, she went up to her parents and her mom said “Wow, you messed up.” It took all for my friend not to deck the mom. Classmate’s shoulders slumped and her face fell. She stopped using ASL.
Oh wow, my heart broke for the poor girl who wanted to quit piano because of her toxic grandmother!!!!! 😥💔 omg the comeback from one of the Redditers for her to tell the husband after making love that she was "disappointed in his performance" was frickin' GOLD !!!!!!!!! 😂👏👏👏
For the evil piano grandma, I hope she will confront grandma in front of the child with something like "just because you don't see value in learning a musical skill doesn't diminish her achievement, you are suprisingly critical for someone who couldn't play chopsticks let alone do what she just did".
I think the grandmother insulting the daughter at her performances and the father allowing the harsh criticism is their passive aggressive way of trying to get the girl to quit. Neither of them think playing the piano is worth the time or money, so this may be their way of discouraging her. If she actually quits they can do the "I told you so" song and dance with plausible deniability. It's vile and toxic.
It is. I don’t often advocate for divorce I’m these stories. This is one of the few times I will. Otherwise this is going to happen every time this poor girl want to do anything this grandma father duo deems “not useful”. It will not stop if she quits piano, and this will result in some serious issues for that poor girl. If the father can’t grow up and act like a father then he shouldn’t be one. Divorce.
Oh boy, that piano post triggered my PTSD. I used to love art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, but it was a hobby, it was never anything I wanted to do for a living. For that, I wanted to work in radio. Rock radio. My step-dad constantly berated me and told me I wasn’t good at doing anything but art. And that I would be doing Art for a living because that was all I was good for. In the end, he destroyed my passion for art which was sad because it used to help me relax. He made it so it only brought me stress. Oh I and did work rock radio in the end. For 15 years. My step dad was an ad man for radio and had loads of contacts and refused to help me. I did it all on my own.
Extracurricular activities are a great way for kids to become well rounded and boost their self esteem. They don’t have to grow up to be a concert pianist (or even want to) to benefit. I think even just learning to stick it out and work hard at something even though you don’t see immediate results is a necessary life skill. Discouraging your kids from playing certain games or pursuing the arts is not going to get them closer to being a doctor, MOTHER. When I was little, I told my mother I wanted to be a vet, and she talked me out of it by describing all the animals I’d have to put to sleep. When I said I wanted to be a ballerina, she said it would damage my body to the point I’d be crippled by 40. I said I wanted to be a paleontologist, and she said being outside all the time would give me skin cancer. For the record, I did not grow up to be a doctor, but she’s dead so at least she can’t give me grief over it. I became a nurse, which frankly she’d have been pretty embarrassed about if she’d lived to see it.
Oh, that sounds...heart wrenching! I once read something along the lines: "Be careful what you say to your children - it will become their inner voice." and think this is quite on point. Don't worry, the way you describe her, she wouldn't be proud (or show it) anyways. I know the type, nothing you ever do is good enough for them.. It's more important that you're proud of yourself! Much love.
As a piano player myself, even having my amazing, supportive parents around concerts is extremely stressing. I cannot imagine having somebody as vile as that girl's grandmother watching me. I feel so sorry for her! Charlotte is totally right - divorce your husband who won't even stand up for his own daughter
When my mother started to criticize my sons artwork and always in front of my then wife but never in front of me, I had a talk with her, caught her a few times later on and she always said it was to help him get better. I pointed out telling him he wasn't good was not helpful. I warned her more than once and when she didn't stop, I did something I thought I'd never do, I told her no more. I cut her out, between treating my son like that, she didn't treat my wife well either (see, I married the "wrong" woman in her eyes), so that was it, I love my mom, but I chose my son and wife over it all. She didn't think I'd follow through. I did. I'm divorced now, but that has nothing to do with anything I talked about here. WHOLE other story. My son? 33 now and still drawing and painting, sends me updates and pics of his work on a regular basis and I love it. As always, LOVE your content and though I don't have any atm, life isn't kind right now, I will be getting some petty merch as soon as I can, but you should compile videos and pics taken of all your subs (sounds almost kinky heh heh heh) and put together a video of everyone wearing petty merch. I'll try to get mine in the next couple of months, once things settle down. Keep up the great work and stay safe.
The piano one is just so sad to me. How can a grandmother act that way? And the husband not standing up for his wife and daughter is a big red flag for me. I see a divorce in their future...
I've never liked the way people tend to go straight to "dump his ass!" after hearing one person's story about a few isolated incidents without knowing the context of their relationship as a whole. But in this case? God, I hope she dumps his ass.
Miss Charlotte calling the grandma that was disappointed by the granddaughter’s performance a (completely bleeped out word that was even obstructed by a box telling me to use my imagination and preventing me from lip reading the fact that she called her) a c-word! 😳 Oh my! I had no idea you spoke that way Miss Charlotte; but I’m here for it especially in this context. And you’re not wrong.
have ya'll not been watching a long time? potato queen has a bit of a potty mouth when necessary + i love it! lol also in general, it seems to me like canadians, brits + aussies are not as offended by the c-word as americans are. i'm in the us + personally love that word in the right situation lol
I hope you saying “speaking that way” you do not mean “disrespectful”, because she deserves every bit of it! As a person who’s grandma was and still is doing unspeakable things, I might have said even more than that. Just because she is the grandmother, this doesn’t mean that she is entitled to bully her own granddaughter! No one is! On the contrary, she should be the person that keeps her secure, not the one causing her insecurities.
@@hesherette I is a HUGE Miss Charlotte fan, have binged her stuff, subscrahb’d, and even set an alarm to beat the notifications (it upsets my boss but……it’s Miss Charlotte!) and I am familiar with the potty mouth. It was the contempt and rapidity with which it was used that got my attention. 😉 And she’s absolutely justified in its application in this context. You may be right about American sensitivities tho. I don’t understand them and I’m American! How we gonna get upset at word choices when there are far greater concerns?!
That one about the grandmother putting down the kid at her performances...I relate to that sooo much. For years, every time my grandmother would come over to visit, she'd insist on hearing me play piano. She'd always criticize everything, rarely did she have something positive to say (and when she did, it would be something like "you have the technique"...She has never played piano in her life. The only instrument she's ever attempted was guitar and she gave up on that decades ago - honestly it didn't last that long... What the hell does she know about technique????). It made me feel so bad about my playing that I swore off playing in front of her, so when she would come over after that, I'd make up an excuse as to why I wasn't able to give her her own little concert. Nowadays, I still play but I have a complex about playing piano in front of anyone, even my parents. I can't do it - I wait until there's no one else at home and just play for myself.
The mom not wanting the grandmother there is spot on ... one little thing tho ... he is not acting like a husband and father ... he is more like a mama's boy that needs mommy whispering in his ear how proud she is of her baby boy ......
At my cousins wedding, the mil was dirty dancing with whoever was on the dance floor even if they were dancing with someone else, and making such a spectacle that the matron of honour stuck a plate full of cake on the seat, chocolate and berries left a really bad stain all over, she never danced after that and the bride was so happy, fun to watch
The cake in the chair ROFL.. Tops it right up there with the wine spill. Thats epic! Sometimes you try to level with these people and they wont let up.
As the child of a grandparent abuse like this: my heart is absolutely breaking for that little girl. I hope her mom helped to build her up & she’s now thriving
The wine spilling sibling is an angel. Hubby in the “Critical Grandma” situation needs to grow a set, or pack. My paternal grandmother was a momzilla from hell. She’s been dead 27 years, and she’s still a problem.
The grandma who put her granddaughter down reminded me of a story my friend told me. In the TV show, "Leave It To Beaver," the mother of the kid who played Beaver's best friend would tell the director, camera, & other crew members how to do THEIR job. She was not in the business, herself. Eventually, the crew got so sick of it, they wrote Beaver's best friend out of the show to get rid of her.
My son had a piano teacher who came to our home. The boys dad used to position himself behind them exuding negativity. After 2 experiences of this, 2 minutes into the next lesson, the piano teacher ordered him out the room (in his own house!) She told him (accurately) that his mere presence in the room created so much tension & anxiety, even Mozart wouldn’t be able to play! Good for her! I’m sure he reported all this “abuse” to whatever mistress he currently had. About 3 years after this, I came home with groceries & he immediately went upstairs & came down with 2 packed suitcases. I asked, “aren’t you even going to say goodbye to them?” He said, “No. Alice (mistress of the moment) doesn’t like kids.” Mistress was married too. No kids but rich. So “daddy” married money-mistress when she got divorced & my sons were dumped. No custody battle. He didn’t want them. He told me, “I’m dissatisfied with them. They’re not good enough.” BTW: They were WONDERFUL. Still are in their forties now. Advanced degrees, married to compassionate, brainiac women, have great jobs & own lovely homes. I have a treasure of a granddaughter. Daddy? He died of a brain tumor years ago. KARMA
Only once did my husband take his mom's side against me. That's all it took, I told him straight out not to be a momma's boy and be a man and stand by his wife or pack up and go back to his momma for good. We have been married 44 years now, no problems!
So the hubby is going to continue to invite MIL until OP does what he calls “using the daughter as a tool to fight with mom“? I would say “Okay, then YOU’RE not invited to any more plays either, and I want a divorce.” The husband is on his mom‘s side and I think it’s time for OP to rethink her marriage.
The first story was amazing. The story involving the grandmother and the granddaughter with the piano is messed up. Makes me grateful my parents never did that and offered actual constructive criticism with my hobbies. No grandmother or husband should act that way. Plus, playing any sort of music is a great skill and can lead to scholarships even if she doesn’t major in music by the time she hits college.
My Mom criticized me constantly for everything from my clothes, hair, weight, attitude, etc. The 2 things that were untouchable were any hobbies (athletic, musical, dance, baking, sewing) and schoolwork (I was top 10 in school and even smarter than her can-do-no-wrong sons). If I was out there doing something in front of others, whether I was good or not. I got encouragement and lived for those moments. In my 60's, my self esteem is still in the toilet thanks to the other criticisms. I think Mom was just a narcissist who encouraged things people could praise HER for "she's so smart" "she's such a good cook" "she did well on stage" and hated me for things she thought embarrassing (too long hair, shirts too short, too fat, too skinny (yes, I was both at different times), not an important enough job, etc.)
I had a mother and grandmother who would insult anything I did growing up. This has lead to being 30 with no confidence a lot of trust issues and any time I feel the slightest pinch of happiness quickly fading. Even with friends pointing out the good things I do I still hear all the negative things repeated in my head so for the father to say oh it’s helping is a bunch of bull the grandmother needs a good kick in the behind.
There are so many benefits to learning a musical instrument! All of my children took piano lessons, and my inlaws were always so proud when they attended their piano recitals! I didn't realize how lucky I was to have caring parents and inlaws.
The grandmother one hit a little harder than I expected it would. To preface this my actual nan is a sweetheart but apply what this lady is doing to her grandchild and that's what my dad did with me. He constantly tore down my love for writing, to the point I have no faith in myself. And now he's in a new relationship he acts like he always SUPPORTED me so it's a double slap in the face. Believe me breaking a child's dreams with abrasive words forever etches itself into the soul, I hope the mother gets her and her kid away from that toxic environment before the damage is irreversible 🙁 Words stick.
The red wine spillage, genius. The piano playing grandaughter is being subjected to mental abuse, by both her GM and her dad. The mom of the little girl needs to start recording any interaction between GM and her daughter have, plus her husband's reaction. Go to a dam good divorce attorney and show him the footage.
The first one ...she HAD to be the "centre of attention". The wine was brilliant, the fake trip, and the courtesy bottle of beautiful wine after ...BANG ON😍
Definitely an AWESOME and hilarious video! The first one about the lady spilling wine on her mother's dress set the tone for the rest of the video! LOVED THE PETTINESS!
As someone with a toxic mom, thank you for sharing these astonishing examples. Not only do I get a reminder that I'm not the only one, but I get to laugh about it as well. 😂
Yeah.. Same here.. With toxic mom.. but i can't stand up against my mom🙄.. but whenever i get into arguments with my mom i play Charlotte Dobre on full Volume 😂
I’m sorry to say that I’m not shocked about the husband’s response to his wife asking not to invite MIL to their daughter’s performances. My guess is that he was gaslit his entire life by his mother and bent over backwards and accepted her insults as truth. He just learned to “take it” from her. My mom was sometimes the same way - I was driven to suicidal ideology but finally learned to stand up for myself and believe in myself and not her lies. I’m happy to report we have a much better relationship now. Back to their story - the mom of their 13-year-old daughter did what her daughter was too scared to do. She stood up to her abusive MIL and husband was unfortunately brainwashed by all the gaslighting. Husband doesn’t see a problem with the way his mother is insulting their daughter because he’s used to it - sad reality. Mom absolutely has the right to ask that MIL not come to performances because I feel like the least a grandparent figure should do is to be supportive and if she can’t even do that and is destroying her granddaughter’s self-esteem she shouldn’t be invited. I feel terrible for their situation. All that being said, Charlotte I think you’re an amazing content creator and I watch you daily!!! You always cheer me up even if it’s bitching at stupid people like this!!! Makes me feel like I’m not crazy!
He’s in so deep that even his arguments don’t make sense. He said him and his mom agreed that they want his daughter to become a doctor; his mom said that the wife is wasting HIS money on something as useless as piano lessons; Yet he says that what his mom is doing is constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is pointing out errors and give advice in how to improve. So he is pretty much a hypocrite cuz, the idea of giving constructive criticism is that you want that person to improve and get better in what they’re doing, a.k.a. approving of what they’re doing. In my opinion, there’s no other route than to divorce. I played in my head; even if they get couples therapy he would find a way to insert his mother into their COUPLES THERAPY.
I had the same stuff with my mom. Gas lit by her vitcimhood my whole life. Finally after many many years of dealing with psychotic mom and seeing how well my dad was doing after they divorced when I was 25, and counseling for stuff in my own life falling apart. I finally started to see how toxic she was in my life and cut her off for over a year. She acted like she changed some so we very slowly let her back into our lives a little at a time and then she was good for a bit and recently went full blown crazy again. Now that I really see who she is I can look back and see lots of things in my childhood that caused me trauma growing up that I had no idea What I had really been through. To those of you with super toxic mothers, set hard boundaries and stick to them. If they break them cut them off. Trust me your life will be so much better off without that toxic narcissist trying to sabotage your life.
Loved this one. 😆 Listening to the story of the woman telling her granddaughter her performance wasn’t good enough, I have to say that one of my big peeves in life is people who dress up spite as a virtue, by saying they’re just “telling it how it is”. You can be honest without being hurtful in most situations, and there are other situations where the only reasonable option is to keep your mouth the hell shut. That woman should’ve taken the second option. “Telling it how it is” is just an excuse for cruelty, with people like that.
Oh, this one hit so close to home! My mil is a downright despicable person, a textbook narcisist who lives for emotional blackmail. Right now I'm blessed with her not talking to me and I've woved to keep it like that! And I'm getting myself some "Petty" merch asap to keep up the right attitude!
As someone who has had to deal with asshole family members putting me down my entire life and now seeing the pattern repeat through my daughter when she attends family events, (since i no longer attend and there is no one else to pick on) hearing about other situations where family destroys a childs self confidence and trying to dictate the direction their lives are to go in, brings me peace but also triggers rage in me. Peace because its nice to know we are not the only ones who are experiencing toxic family members and their dysfunctional behaviors, but rage because no one should have to tolerate such bullshit. Especially from family. Thankfully my daughter and I are on the same page and can move forward by avoiding them and events now as much as possible until we can move out of state and have a fresh start. But it seems that the woman with the aspiring piano player child is in a much irritating situation as its her own husband who cant see how toxic his mother is acting towards his daughter. I think it needs to be normalized that it's okay to cut family off when they are harming you more than they are supporting you. As well as calling out their toxic behaviors so they know why they are being cut off. Family doesnt mean you need to put up with abuse. Hopefully they can work this situation out without getting a divorce. But it kind of sounds like her husband is just as toxic as his mother. So a divorce may not be a bad idea in the long run. Parents need to stop expecting their children to be who they want them to be and let them be who they are.
@@champ1159 as soon as I get off of work. I don’t mind laughing, snorting, or looking a fool while watching Miss Charlotte but crying cuz I miss my momma is something I’m not prepared to do at work.
If my husband allowed his mother to bring down one of my kids like that, I would be looking into separation or a divorce. Doesn't matter how much I love him, he is hurting our kids, and that is something I would never accept.
my opinion: every wedding should have some kind of security at the entrance and if any family members especially come in those doors wearing a bridal dress to not let her/him in into the venue.
Just found your channel and LOOOOOOVE IT! And you are the reason why! When I first met my ex-husband's mother, we went driving around for a garage sale in her neighborhood. As we were driving back to their house, she pulled over, stopped the car, looked me dead in my eyes and said, "If you ever do anything to hurt my son, I will put a hex on you. And I know just how to make them work." Yup, she was a witch. Through and through.
This makes my blood boil. If my future husband and future mother-in-law pulled that shit, I'm leaving. that woman isn't criticizing. that is straight bullying. her own grandma is bullying her to a point where she no longer loves what she's doing. what is constructive about what she said? nothing. "your performance is disappointing" I would have said something mean. OP needs to put her foot down and demand change or she'll leave. and she needs to stand strong. Edit: if someone finds the story on Reddit please send me the link. I need an update or something
One of my grandmothers was hurtful towards me and my brother growing up because of our weight. While we remained nice to her, we never had a real loving relationship with her. Thankfully, our other Grandmother was always loving and warm. She lived to see 90, and we had a strong relationship with her until she passed away two years ago. Our parents always had our backs though, and finally confronted our other grandmother about her words. She stopped saying hurtful things. I was just finally able to forgive her in my heart a few months ago. It felt good to forgive her, even though she’s no longer here. I’m not carrying the hurt anymore, and it feels good to be free of that. Sending prayers to everyone still healing from hurtful childhoods. You are loved, and you are valued. ❤️
Dude the the MIL critiquing the play happened to me! I was in a play back in April and May. Poured everything I could into this. I was one of the first ones to memorize my lines. I went to several set builds on Friday nights and some Saturday ones. My character got injured in the show so I made my own injury and my own fake blood. I studied for hours how to do a British accent. Broke down line by line what was happening and why. What was my character's motive etc. On top of all of this. Director let us do whatever but borderline no direction for us. Our lead didn't know all his lines. I kept having asthma attacks from anxiety being wracked up. So there was the effort of chilling out and being able to rescue our lead when he stood there forgetting his lines. My fiance and his family saw our matinee performance. I get back to his parents place and the only thing they told me I did good was scream. They (each said a different thing) critiqued my British accent saying it sounded more Russian in certain areas, the said they couldn't understand a certain line that I had worked on what was being said (there was a lot of emotion tied into so I decided to scream it), they had no clue what was going on in a flashback scene because our director didn't let us use props, one of them told my mom it was weird seeing my hands all over my show boyfriend during the show (that was not the case at all). It was so many things that I ended up crying because I felt like this role I invested so much into (especially the areas I invested into most) was the areas they picked apart the most that I actually did garbage. I feel so much for this 13 year old because at 23 I know how badly I felt hearing that. From your grandma? That would destroy me.
I will say I am an extremely protective Mama. I would not let anyone hurt my kids. But when they are adults, they have to make their own chooses. I have finished my job. If they want my honest opinion, I'll give it. Outside of that, it's on them and I am just there for support. So far my adult kids still like to hang with me lol (also helps to have a lot of kids. I have seven and you can't get all hyper focused on them when you have to spread yourself around)
"This is what God wants me to do" was the exact same words when I asked my mom why she cheated on my dad 😂 And she wonders why I don't follow Christianity with her...
Wow. 😬... I'm sorry!! On behalf of the Christians who don't manipulate people, CAN respect healthy boundaries, and follow what God has actually said, I apologize for people like this who act like that and then call themselves followers of Jesus. I promise we're not all like that!! I hope you're doing well now 🤍🤍
I'm glad neither of my parents/grandma was like that when I first learnt piano. Mum made a deal, we had to learn up to a certain level before deciding to quit. I got to there and swapped to flute but I could already read music so it was so much easier. Grandparents loved coming to my school concerts (I hated performing tho...anxiety, but exams etc needed a public performance part in them). Nan and Pa bought me a 2nd hand piano for my 16th birthday (in time for my big high school exams 🇦🇺)
My 12yo auditioned for his school’s talent show. There was an audio issue and he ended up forgetting half of the words. Did we criticize him? No! We told him we were proud of him and it was ok. He sounded good even with the mistakes. Maybe next time he should practice more, but I wasn’t disappointed in him at all. That grandmother sucks!!
As someone who's done theater for around a decade now, not collapsing under pressure when things go wrong is necessary but *extremely* difficult. Practice and encouragement help, but you'll never have a flawless performance. Forgetting half the words? He remembered half! And he was able to pull through when I'm sure he hasn't had much practice performing in front of an audience. There's a reason I don't do solos in musicals; I'm so terrified of being wrong that I don't even attempt. It took about 8 years to audition for and accept a duet part (no solos,
Won't let me edit after accidentally hitting send. Just wanting to add that your kid should feel dammed proud and not back down from the challenge of trying again.
My husband's mother was gifted a amtrack ticket from us every xmas so she could spend it with her twin boys. We bought her presents as well to open on Xmas. Found out from my SIL that she sold every gift we gave her and talked about me behind my back ...oh well she's gone now.
I really disdain individuals that feel the need to criticize a young child on something they are trying to do. Hopefully, one day to excel at. Dude should have told his mother to keep her comments to herself if she had nothing nice to say.
Yeah, I’m definitely more disappointed in the “dad” who is not protecting his child from that criticism than anyone else in that story. Even the grandma may have redeeming qualities (although compassion and emotional intelligence is not among them) but a male parent (I can’t even call him a dad) that can’t see the damage it does to his daughter and protect her from that doesn’t deserve the family he has. You know he endured that same treatment growing up and quit a good many things because of it but now he sees it as normal instead of as something that needs to change.
Damn, at my wedding my new mil was going around telling everyone that this wasn't the real wedding and that we would be having a huge lavish party the following year interstate where they lived. For context the parents in law were very materialistic and needed to keep up appearances of everything being expensive, the best and perfect. Our wedding was a lovely small vent with just family and also friends who were so close they were like family. Leading up to the wedding quite a lot of his family friends were saying they couldn't come, and we found out that was also because the mil had been telling them that our wedding wasn't the real thing. They clearly thought our smaller wedding was shameful to them, seen as a reflection on their perfect image. They did not contribute to our wedding in any way. Eventually on one of the following days I asked who exactly was paying for this 2nd hug lavish wedding we had never planned or agreed to, and the parents expected that to be me. They were shocked to find out how much our smaller wedding actually cost and wouldn't be contributing to the more flashy thing they were talking about since it was way too expensive. I'm happy to say I am no longer in laws to that family. Turns out their son was just as bad.
The first story literally filled up my eyes 😌 so wholesome 👏🏽♥️😭 this is how siblings should have eachother's back if they're cursed with a narcissist for a mother ☠️
My grandchildren live (with their parents) hundreds of miles away. When I want to see them I use ZOOM or hop on a jet. I do NOT demand that their parents relocate to a place near me. Criticism of her piano playing should be left to her PIANO TEACHER. Even if grandmother were a professional pianist, it is NOT FOR HER to criticize the girl. Leave it to the piano teacher. Demeaning the girl pianist is a SHOW STOPPER. If spouse does not consent to absence of his mother, wife should try each of these in order: 1. Marital counseling 2. Absolute no contact between grandmother and girl 3. If both of these fail, then DIVORCE is in order. Children come FIRST, ahead of in-laws and even spouses. She should NOT permit her daughter to be abused. PERIOD.
should have told her husband, "It's not constructive critisism, it's bullying. You're trying to get her to stop doing what she wants so that she'll (for you hopefully) do what YOU want to do. You're not being a father and supporting her, you're being a bully so that she'll do your bidding."
7:00....they claim they want her to be a doctor...studies have shown that kids who also play a musical instrument do better in things like mathematics and other analytical tasks. They aren't thinking, just being hateful.
Wow did this ever bring back memories of my mom when my kids were growing up. At one point she told me that I was helping lead my children to hell. Things built to a point where during a fight I actually HAD TO CALL THE POLICE to have her removed from our property... it took a couple of years of no contact before she mellowed enough for us to allow her back into our lives. I'm so grateful that my older sister, who my mom listens to, backed us up.
Oh God. I am moving out and away from my super controlling parents in the fall and going low contact. I am honestly terrified of how they are going to react. Glad to know I’m not the only one with crazy parents though!
I wish you all the best of luck! 🥰 My best friend left her mom’s house and she was so happy to have separation from the excessive control she had over her life. They have a better relationship these days since having boundaries and distance. I can only hope the same for you. 🙌🏼
Have everything in place before you tell them. Your exit will go more smoothly than dealing with them and finding a new place to live, buying furniture, dishes etc. They can't dissuade you after all is said and done and first and last is paid.
Check out Dr. Ramani on UA-cam for info on narcissism (may be relevant). A book that you might want to check out is Self-care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. You may be overwhelmed with shame/guilt at times but don't give in. A good therapist can make a big difference at times like this. Good luck!
Charlotte you’re the friend that everybody wants and needs in their life who will be the one to call out BS but also be there as the back up when needed.
Charlotte!! Thank you for making my 10 days of Covid recovery/quarantine entertaining! I found your channel (a rare win for the UA-cam algorithms) last week and have been binging your vids all week!! Keep up the amazing work!
Please get well soon! And welcome to Tater Nation. Miss Charlotte is our Potato Queen (see her channel for an explanation of that) and we are Tater Tots, her loyal subjects. Remember to “subscrahb!” And come back daily for a new video. I promise, you’ll enjoy every one of them!
If my son decides to grow up and work waste management, I would be proud of him for doing hard work. I always tell my boys that I want them to be happy and to be kind.
To be fair, waste management pays well. And it isn't glamorous but knowing that it's *you and your job* keeping the community running gives a sense of purpose to the job that many office workers don't have.
Some of these remind me of my future mother-in-law and sister-in-laws 😂 they are all sociopaths and I’m glad my future mother-in-law no longer has access to our daughter. She blamed my future husband for things he has no control of and started to blame him for her and I not having a “closer relationship” when she treated him like the black sheep. She gave him no attention until our daughter and I became part of his life. I stood up for him for the way she treated him and apparently she didn’t like that. She told me I needed to respect my elders and I told her no. That I’m going to stand up for my loved ones even if I’m standing up against family. No one treats people who are dear to me in any negative way.
I just discovered this channel and has fallen in love! I love the petty! I love the drama. I love the comedy. This is great. Look forward to more videos
I know of two surefire ways to increase a child’s capacity to learn as young children up to college age, there may be more ways. One is to teach your youngster a second language the other is to teach your youngster to play an instrument! So for the mom that is having her daughter take Piano Lessons, keep up the good work! ❤
lol, "meet my friend Mary. Last name Jane". Funny. I won't lie, part of me keeps hoping Texas will legalize so I can get my mom baked. Maybe I'll try to take her to Colorado or something. She's got lots of pain issues, who knows it might help. And if nothing else, she's always been pretty funny. I'm guessing baked mom would be a fun afternoon.
When intentionally spilling red wine on a while wedding dress is the BEST thing you could do at someone's wedding. lol That is absolutely taking one for the team. I love it.
We need an encore performance!
This story was taken from someone else's story. It was a female that spilled wine on a mother's dress the first time, now it's a dude.
@@demonzanddollz1605 Woman*
@@demonzanddollz1605 where did it say it was a guy telling the story?
@@demonzanddollz1605 you think this has only happened once? Interesting.
Knew a man in my hometown whose parents essentially forced him to become a doctor even though his dream was to be a pianist. After he made some money as a doctor, he quit the medical field, bought 2 grand pianos and now teaches piano for a living. I hope that mother finds the courage to keep her daughter away from the toxic family members.
I wanted my daughter to be a pianist, but she's becoming a doctor. 😂😂😂(Three kids in college right now, and I want them to find their interests. All three are choosing majors that make the world better and I couldn't be more proud)
Love that! Hope he’s doing well and living his best life
I said if she was my daughter, I’d be getting a divorce or a charge or maybe both
Ok but the father who allows his mother to talk to his daughter like that is the real villain here. lol Like 100%. That mom clearly did a big number on him if he truly believes that behavior is fine and not completely toxic. I'm assuming he received the exact treatment growing up and is so gaslighted that he can't see it. I wouldn't stay with a man who didn't protect his children. Period.
Nah, the MIL is the villain, he's just a lackey/minion.
@@OmniscientlyMe it isn’t her responsibility to protect his daughter from her though, it’s his. But basically they both are horrible. Lol
No family member nor "friend" should cause your child(ren) to cry or feel less than!!! If you hear about or actually hear it, as in this case...IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO STOP IT!! YOU ARE HIS/HER PROTECTOR!! DO YOUR DAMN JOB!!!
First time I a woman knocked out a man it was a suckered punch bc he made my son cry over his weight. When he came around I pepper sprayed him and the bitch went off crying. Guess who has a son that knows his mom has his back. But then again I can be a gorilla in heels.
@@juliaweasley true, but you´d probably do more damage letting a teen grow up without a father than having a toxic woman like the mom in her life.
"Next time in bed say to your husband after you're finished 'I have to say that was disappointing' and see how he liked that constructive criticism"
I F*CKING SNORTED IN LAUGHTER 😂 that is the PETTIEST comeback I've ever heard! ☝👏👌
𝔽𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕓𝕣𝕠, 😂😂😂
That comment is absolute gold
Totally, I would have done that too if that was how my now ex behaved. Luckily he never was like that despite his other flaws
I wish I was that clever
ABSOLUTE GOLD!!!
The situation where the grandmother kept criticizing the grand daughter's piano playing broke my heart. When any kid has an adult in their life who always has something critical to say, it gets to them. Makes them feel insecure and their work worthless. It can lead them to be overachievers in the future to the point of burnout. I feel for her.
That dad allowing his mother to continuously attack and insult his daughter is a vile person.
dude is a complete wuss
Since the dad is also not supportive of his daughter playing piano, it seems to me that he wants his mother to say all these awful things so his daughter will stop playing and he doesn't have to take responsibility.
Happened to me only by my own mother..she turned something I loved into a punishment. She was a despicable being.
I was thinking the same thing... tbh, if he values his mom so much, maybe he should just go back to live with his mom... divorce his sorry butt and go. can't stand up for your own daughter or wife? He doesn't deserve to be with them then.
That dad hates his wife. And he knows the MIL is hurtig the wife by hurting the child, that's why he's fine with it.
as someone who cant play music anymore due to trauma, that mother needs to protect her daughter as much as she can. if that means divorce or some sort of separation from her father and grandmother, then so be it.
i dedicated my life to music out of necessity, despite the pain (physical and emotional) it caused me. i finally changed my path in life after a bout of physical therapy, and have only gotten better from here. i know my situation is a lot different than the girl in the story, but for her sake, her mother needs to make some serious changes
I agree, the husband sounds awful. Not only he and his mom are on the same team and are clearly trying to force the daughter to become a doctor, which she's not interested in (also who said you can't be a doctor or whatever else and play the piano too cause youlike it??), he doesn't care about the kid's feelings and is ok with her constantly getting hurt + gaslights the wife. That woman needs to get her shit together and RUN.
Not a musician but a father.: The piano story made my angry af.
I agree. As someone who can't play certain instruments due to a bit of similar trauma and instances, I can say that being brought down is a really big blow especially if the thing you are being criticized about is your passion. It's been 5 years for me, and the people that brought me down are already out of contact with me and it's still a bit hard to hold the guitar but I'm adjusting and getting better. I was even able to play 1-2 songs. Still, I'm an adult and it took me 4-5 years to be able to get over with. I can't imagine how that child is dealing with it.
Edit: My guitar was smashed into bits- by some sr. In high school. Of course I told my parent even tho I was scared (kinda like an "accident" my mother was furious and said that they wouldn't buy me another instrument because of how my instruments gets ruined. Ofc I was devastated even more. My father bought me another tho and tho mama was upset then, ik she was just angry and was having an outburst. They didn't say a thing, I just cried in my room because ik they still support me (playing the guitar) tho it was just hanged up in the wall til I decided to play again. My father is not vocal but he shows his support and love through his silent action that actually has a big impact to me. So seeing as her father was an ignorant MF just piss me off more.
Throw out the whole husband and grandmother, they've gone rotten! Being told "you're not good enough" over and over just kills the desire to do anything at all.
I was thinking this same thing! It should have been brought up right away. If the grandmother loved her grandkid she wouldn't be so mean, and I am floored that the father sees nothing wrong with it. like his relationship with her is more important. freaking mamas boy. constructive criticism doesnt not leave kids nervous and in tears every time they see you. thats technically abuse and shes destroying that relationship.
I was born on my moms birthday, we are 28 years apart and she’s always acted like it’s only her birthday. The only party I ever had was my 1st birthday party and she still tried to make it about her. My 16th, 18th and 21st? Didn’t exist, just about her. When I met and married my husband I found out his moms birthday is the same as mine as well. She’s so excited to share a birthday and even though we live several states apart we’re planning a belated birthday lunch when we come to visit in June.
I hope you and your husband have celebrated YOU on your birthday without your mother around.
I'm so sorry, that is just so selfish and horrible of her.
Your mother is not a good person on this point. :( It's great that you can now enjoy what is sharing a birthday.
I'm glad you now have a mom who cares xxx
I’m so sorry. My mom’s birthday is the day before mine and she would often forgo celebrating her’s so that mine wouldn’t feel like a second. She even tried to have me the day before hers so I wouldn’t be after her because she never wanted me to feel second to her. Now that I’m older we see it as double the fun and I always make sure to celebrate her’s as much as mine. My birthday would also sometimes fall in Father’s Day so if that happened we’d celebrate her’s and mine the day before and then my dad the day after.
I'm sorry your mom treated you that way. As a mother it hurts my heart, I could not do that to my kids. Their birthdays are precious days to me, I always have a few moments when I get misty eyed remembering their entrance into the world and our first moments together. And I always tell them the story of being born and how happy I was and how much I love them. I just can't fathom what her thought process is. I'm so glad that your mother in law is so much sweeter. I hope you have a great birthday lunch
For a child, the act of going out and performing in front of a crowd is a success and show of strength on its own, regardless of the quality of the performance. And she will carry that bravery and everything else she learns from piano with her no matter what her career ends up being. The arts and anything that brings you joy have value beyond profit.
My biggest job (and JOY) as a grandmother is praising my grandchildren! I love every single thing they do (Well, our grandson is a champion gas-passer and I refuse to tell him it's wonderful. Ha!) I can't imagine any loving grandparent criticizing - especially if he/she is not in a position to help! Proud Mimi over here!!! ❤❤❤
Needless to say I would be critiquing every single thing the MIL did from that moment on - food, parties, decorations, clothes, etc. EVERYTHING. And if she or the son had a problem I will tell her that I was just “telling it like it is, I learned it from her”
Nah, she'll just be told it's her being petty and rude. Those "telling it how it is" people can never take what they dish out.
Then she would play the victim. Narcissists don’t get better, they just double down.
DAMN RIGHT! I would write down every criticism just to throw it back in her face later.
I wouldn't take that approach as the parent but I would teach my daughter to do that. The fact that the daughter ran off crying is something that I would address because she needs to learn how to stand up to bullies. Doesn't matter if this is granddad, grandma, or mom and dad. A bully is a bully and they respond to strength!
As a pianist of (almost) 6 years, the story with the daughter’s performances and the grandmother pointing out each and every single flaw; not to mention flat out telling her that the performance was a “disappointment”?! How the hell does one have the balls to say that to a 13 year old kid who’s just learning an instrument?! The mother handled the situation like a champ, the husband didn’t even do shit in standing up for his child. The first thing ANY parent should think about is their CHILD. I do NOT care if it’s your mother or your father, but when your child’s self-esteem is berated; let alone being put down by her own grandmother and the FATHER does nothing?! Absolute mama’s boy for sure. Ultimately, I don’t think OP is the AH in this. Her reasoning is solid. If I were her, I would do the same thing she did. Also, if anyone is a beginner pianist, don’t let jerks bring you down just because you mess up a few notes. You’re learning and with practice and patience you’ll get better everyday! ✨
Tbh if Dad and MIL are already trying to pressure a 13-year-old girl into being a doctor, nothing that girl does will ever be good enough for them. It’s not even about the instrument, it’s that she’s not following their pre-written life plan. Also hobbies are just worthless, I guess? You don’t have to be good at something for it to enrich your life.
I wonder if the Momzilla has any talents herself or is she just living them through the granddaughter
I'm not surprised by the things some people say to their children. my friends ex-husband once yelled at his two year old ( now 4) for not throwing a fit when she has to walk. which was not true he was just jealous of me and the our friend Jon because his kids like us more then him. so he picked her up and the 4 month old baby and left. i was just like so you want you daughter to do the opposite of what you're
doing. however what made me laugh was 15 min later i was walking around with her and she was perfect we passed him. of course he then asked her if she stole a keychain i gave her. like im sorry your daughter is two ahe can barely talk and has no idea what you mean.
I'd have the kid play the next performance - a duet with Grandma. Just wheel a second piano out and call the old bag up on stage. Have a page turner point at middle C and stop playing every time that note occurs in the piece, have the guy point and wait until Grandma poinks that key. Five minutes of comedy gold. Then go nc
👏👏👏
My mother was a lot like this. She would say things to purposely embarrass people. And then use the excuse "I'm just telling the truth". And she wondered why I never wanted to see her after my parents divorced. 😮 Classic narcissist using the "telling the truth" reason to insult people.
Same here, I haven't spoken to my mother in over a decade.
Same. Decades of suffering and being forced to forgive and respect her because she is the mother, but not anymore. I just found out about narcissism and oh boy, it all makes sense. They are evil and don’t change.
I have a coworker who ‘just says it like it is’. She’s been getting so insufferable with her childish antics, and she won’t change, because ‘it’s just how she is’
"Telling it as it is". More like, "telling it as I see it". They're not the same. In fact, individuals like this usually have a pretty warped, self-serving perspective on things.
They think they're being clever using the 'truth bomb' excuse when they're really just demonstrating their poor impulse control and lack of emotional intelligence.
That said, they know it's not okay. The give-away is their utter indignation when treated the way they treat others.
@@rachellereeve494 Bull's-eye!
I ended up being the “golden child” growing up. It was not great. I grew up seeing how miserably my mom treated my siblings (my dad went to prison when I was young, so he wasn’t in the picture growing up), and so I must have subconsciously thought that if I suppress everything about myself and let her do whatever, I’d be loved. I watched her sit there and make commentary on how each of us must look perfect and pretty at all times, would casually call us ugly, comment on things about our bodies that we couldn’t change (eg., our breasts, one of my sister’s noses, weight gain due to medical conditions that she wouldn’t get us treatment for…) and control every aspect of everything she did. She even set me up with my first boyfriend who was toxic and coerced me on multiple occasions through our seven year relationship after I told her I didn’t think I wanted to get married (For context, I’m aro/ace and just cannot see myself in physically or romantically intimate relationships). My eldest sister is actually considered mentally disabled because of her PTSD from our mom and barely leaves her bedroom or office if she’s not accompanied by her dogs. I did everything and anything my mom said because I was dead to rights convinced that if I didn’t, I would die alone and miserable and burn in Hell. It took me about four years after her new husband kicked me out for me to realize she wasn’t a saint who deserved the kind of love and affection I showed her, and another five to figure out who the hell I was (Fun Fact! I’m still figuring that out, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it). Now, just like every other child she had except her eldest son and youngest daughter, I am a disappointment and need to be prayed for, because I am trans nonbinary, I will not be marrying, and - gasp - will never let her near any children I will be having. I currently live in America, and plan to move to Norway with the guy I’m co-parenting with for a multitude of reasons, but that is one of the bigger ones. Might be a bit petty of me to be choosing to move to an entirely different country in an entirely different continent to keep her out of the picture, but hey! We’re here with the Duchess of Petty, bite me
She drove through Canada to Alaska to see some of her grandchildren, I’m not taking risks.
Oh my god I’m so sorry you and your siblings went through that. That is so messed up. I don’t think you moving to another country is petty at all. You’re also protecting your kids. That woman is a monster. I hope you and your siblings are okay now.
Hey, if anything - you do need an invitation from a family member to make coming to Norway easier.
I should know: I moved across the globe to get away from my mother.
As a person who played piano for 18 years now, since I was very young I can't even imagine how bad could it feel back then, if my granny just casually told me that "this concert was disappointing". That's just disgusting.
I think the husband is a total mommas boy. No matter what she does to his family he will stand up for the mom every time.
He's just like her.
He’s either just like her or has been accustomed to her gaslighting everyone and doesn’t see the problem with it, that’s how I took it.
Think it’s divorce time.
She should stop inviting the MIL *and* her husband to recitals
I'm thinking that the husband might be letting the grandmother criticize everyone else so that he's no longer in MIL's radar so it's actually really scummy of him? For once he's not the one always being criticized and he's letting his daughter suffer because it's normal for him therefore he sees nothing wrong. Divorce.
My youngest daughter self taught the viola and was tied for first chair before the school year was over. She loved it and I am so proud of her. In-laws did the same thing and before she went to high school a year later she quit. I didn't find out it was because of them until years later. My blood boils.
Self-taught and she tied for first chair?! That's AMAZING!! I'm so sorry they squelched that.
That’s infuriating
People like that don't realise how much damage they cause, just terrible!
@@Tchika Something tells me they do know the damage they cause, otherwise why would they continue the bad behavior?
Toxic behavior.
At 20 y/o I volunteered at a hospital & thought it was despicable that some 50 & up had no visitors, understandable if they had no family, otherwise growing up family-oriented I didn't understand. I was naive. Then I met people, 2 sisters who were raped by their own Dad, others with physically or mentally abusive parents & I came to an understanding... some of them deserved to be alone in the hospital room, they brought it upon themselves. There are always 2 sides to the story so I shouldn't judge!
Trust me, when my parents retire, I'm dumping them in the shittiest retirement home. But like, pay the nurses extra on the side to take time off for mental health days because my parents are vicious snakes that don't deserve the bare minimum care.
You were naive. I am sort of grateful I learnt all that at age 12. It messed up my trust in the world in adults - but if that trust had existed I am pretty sure I would have been raped or even murdered by old strangers who assumed all kids are obedient towards adults even strangers and straight up ordered me into their homes, cars, to sit next to them, stay still while he's just fixing his fly... My father raped his first two daughters when they were 6. My mother didn't know. She never found out I think. She also had children from previous marriage they both had been married with children before. He picked her because she was very rich at the time (he fixed that issue for us, I was raised in poverty after hitting 11). I was the only child they made. My father tried to rape my oldest sister his stepdaughter. She was 15. She spoke up 15 years later. My mother's reaction was not enough. After years of knowing even as a child something is off with my father I came to an even worse understanding. People like that get together for a reason. If you find out some stuff not that he's a child rapist, but just your senses are tingling stuff is off, watch out. It took me years to accept that there was a reason why my parents chose each other. In many ways she was the person that messed me up most. There is a specific reaction from people when they learn their loved one is a monster that is active. Because we can all be monsters it's just about not using it. People who discover something about their spouse and just leave them even when they still love the person because shit is too messed up, these people are innocent. But my mother didn't divorce my father much earlier for a reason. Sadly my sisters think none of abuse I experienced was as bad as theirs since I wasn't beaten and raised by him treated like a saint. I would raise a counterpoint of family situation so distressing at age 13 I was hoping it would turn out I am schizophrenic and it's all in my head. I tried suicide twice,it does a number on you to see your mother have no reaction other than anger you're embarrassing her in front of strangers like doctors in hospital giving you 16 stitches. And never raises a topic of your experience ever. Its been years. I have today fibromyalgia partly caused by my perfect picture perfect childhood. PTSD as well both diagnosed. Some people should never be parents and no one can harm their children more.
Exactly
@@kristinaumber6389 what did they do to deserve the name?:)
This, i've seen many older people dying alone and then the public would condemn their children for ignoring "filial piety" and not giving back the responsibility of taking care of their parents. Now as an adult, i fully understand why those children left their toxic parents, my sisters and I are all purposefully taking jobs FAR from home so we don't have to go back except holidays (sometimes we will make excuses so we don't have to go back all year round). On the outside my parents look like those responsible proud parents, but in reality they are those over-involved helicopter parents who thinks their children are the extension of themselves. Imagine being forced into studying in college courses that are too much for you, parents insulting your dream and talents and then blames you when you fail, smh.
I can definitely relate to this. My mom has been extremely emotionally and now financially abusive in order to control me, my siblings, and my dad. I've had her gaslight me to the point I don't trust my memory very well. She's stigmatized emotion in the whole house to the point no one ever really shows anything except anger. I never got to the point of being angry, and being the oldest I got berated the most due to my high sensitivity and inability to physically stop myself from crying. She convinced all my siblings that there was something wrong with me to where my younger sister (who was around 12 at the time) told me I needed to go to a mental hospital for crying, because my mom would scream at me saying "either you stop crying and act like an adult or I'm going to send you to pschy". She also has been telling me to quit band since I was a sophomore in high school and still tells me to quit college marching band. I'd rather die than not be in the band. For the financial control thing, she likes to spend money on "gifts" and then use them against me. This includes a letterman jacket, college tuition, and other things. My siblings will also use this against me where everyone tells me "I'm being ungrateful" since I avoid going back to my house (I spend my breaks with my now fiance) and every time I even try to criticize our mom in any way. I'll try explaining to my younger siblings how the way our mother treats us, especially me and our dad is not ok and is abusive, but the younger one's will just say "but she pays for stuff" like it excuses everything else.
There's a whole lot more I could talk about but I think the absolute worst thing she does is the verbal and emotional abuse of our father. The poor man just takes it and has told us numerous times to just take it like there isn't any other way to deal with her. She tells him, us, and anyone who has ears how lazy my dad is, how he used to drink and do drugs, that he's stupid, doesn't appreciate her, probably flirts with other women, etc. It's awful. He's such an awesome man and completely opposite of what she claims. He's incredibly smart and hard working, he was top of his class when going to college years after high school, he's a carpenter and extremely talented, he's a whole lot nicer to us, has a lot of patience, and has been clean for over 20 years.
I don't mean to have favorite parents... but my admiration falls a lot heavier on one than the other.
Sounds a lot like my mom. Was essentially my exact childhood as well. When they finally divorced my brother and I really started to see through all the bs she always fed us about our dad. Still even 8 years after their divorce she constantly makes comments to my brother and I about how shitty our dad was. Absolute projection on her part as we’ve come to realize she is a horrible person.
Just saying it’s very likely *she caused* the extreme sensitivity and inability to stop crying that she berated you for, which is perfectly normal in that situation. Childhood trauma is a hell of a thing. I hope you're in therapy and your siblings grow to see you were right.
1:39
THE MAID OF HONOR IS A REAL ONE FOR SAYING OP DESERVES AN OSCAR
The one about the grandma made me so sad, poor girl. My girls grandad (on her dads side) came over during the holidays and commented on her weight, that she had put some on and was starting to look fat 😤 nope 🙅🏻♀️ I had words with him then he did it again… told my partner he wasn’t welcome back in my house. Haven’t seen him since Christmas, it’s lovely.
We have to stand up for our kids! Just because the hurt is coming from a grandparent, doesn't mean they're not just being a big bully!
Well done!
Awesome, that's how this story should have gone.
if your child is gaining weigh please help her lose it before she gets fat, been fat is depressing and awful, I am saying it as an overweigh person. Love her but help her too
@@lilianamejia9034 My daughter is very healthy, thank you for your concern. Her grandad is not a very nice man, constantly throwing nasty comments around about peoples weight/race/sexuality.
Really hope that second story ends with an eventual divorce and the girl's mother gets full custody. His mother is absolutely VILE, and the fact that he's even passively agreeing with her tells me he should be as far from his child as often as possible.
i would rather they work it out than a family splitting event like a divorce garentee that will have a lot worse affect on child’s mental health than what happened. marriage counseling is the best option
@@bullitt3275 I disagree. The man is a mama's boy, not a full grown adult. If he acted like a parent at the beginning, he would have called-out his mom and never invite her again. But HE DIDN'T! With people like him and his mom better to be stay away from that toxic people than being together, specially when it's the case of disrespecting your own child's desire to be something else than a doctor.
@bullitt Honey that man has already split up his family. Divorce is not going to make it any more broken than it apparently already is.
@@bullitt3275i heavily disagree. A parent and grand parent treating you like shit over something you enjoy is far worse than parent getting a divorce.
I think Mom and daughter need to stop telling the Dad about her performances too.
It's sad to see people putting up with loved ones criticizing their children like that. Especially from parents/inlaws/family in general. My mothers step mom had a HUGE chokehold on her in that aspect for a long time. My mom would always try to make sure we were dressed and presented perfectly when we went to visit. But that absolute monster always had something to say about how poorly we looked. My mom never let on that this would happen. She just obsessed more and more over making us as a family presentable. Step monster also always had a "favorite" grand child, and it was always one of my brothers. And when my niece was born she made a comment to my mom about how "at least you get to spend time with your grand daughter" (for context, she has a bio grand daughter, I've never met her, I'm sure there's a great reason for that) I've always felt like I never existed to her. When I did exist to her, it was always negative. Needless to say, I never want to see her again. There are so many more stories and examples. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. 🥲
We don’t love this for you. 🥺 I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! Please know that we think you’re wonderful and that Tater Nation would not be the same without you. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, I hope it heals up some from the sharing. ❤️🩹
I'm sorry for you and your Mom 😔
This woman you described is classic narcissistic sociopath.
The only way to avoid hurt is to exclude such people from your life.
Don't have mercy "cause it's family", they don't have mercy, so why should you.
Lpqo
She is a narcissist. I recently found out about this personality disorder, and I was finally able to understand the sick and mean behaviors of some people in my family. They are everywhere, but when it is family it is specially damaging because we have to interact with them. Just know that it is not about you, it is her projecting her insecurities on others. They feel better when they are tearing others down.
i hope the dad and the grandma ready to loses her and i would take the kid away and leaves the husbend
As someone who has endured more than a bit of psicological abuse from a grandfather whose daughter justified and turned a blind eye to his behavior (my mother) the husband of the AITH post made my blood BOIL.
I'm never letting people like that get anywhere near my children, I can tell you that much. Family or not, they can rot in hell.
I play the piano, I have 57 piano students in a town with a population of no more than 3,000. I would LOVE to talk to that grandmother and give her a piece of my mind!!!
Y'know, I also had an adult telling me how stupid he thought I was when I was 7 because I was struggling with math. Spoiler alert: it was my father! The bullying didn't stop there, but I feel like that's a preeeetty important highlight.
I cut him out of my life when I was 12, and it was honestly one of the best decisions I have ever made. He missed out on my first job, my prom and other dances, my graduation, the release of my book, and everything I've ever done since I told him that I never wanted to hear from him again.
I hope that little girl and her mom cut the vile grandmother and awful passive father out of her life -- adult bullies don't deserve any place in a child's life. Period.
My mom was a big daddy’s girl. Every time I saw him, he’d ask about the classes I wasn’t doing well in. This on top of the cheek pinching, ear pulling, birthday spankings, etc, that I always said no to and he kept doing, even into my late teens. Mom always brushed it off, but I couldn’t sleep at their house if he was awake. As an adult, I mentioned these things again in front of my father, but he said he’d always assumed we were safe w grandmother there (she was an angel, and I’ll never understand why she chose my grandfather). Needless to say, I didn’t really grieve when he passed because I had no fond memories of him. I always felt a little guilty about that, but watching this makes me feel a little better. That girl’s father and grandma are wretched, and she will grow up with the mental scars (speaking from experience)
I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience with your grandfather. What a terrible thing to have happen to you. :(
So sorry you had this experience.
I can relate. My grandfather used to make fun of how I looked, tickle me really hard even when I told him to stop, call me hurtful names, give me wet willys (licking his finger and sticking it in my ear), and more. I hated it and he made me cry, which he'd then call me a cry baby and to get over it. My dad (his son) never stood up to him because it was "just a joke". I don't see either of them anymore. They're both incredibly toxic people I'm happier without.
I was the same about my paternal grandmother at her funeral. I wasn't really sad or grieving. She was a cold woman and didn't like little kids because they would dirty up her house and she always made sure it was spotless (go figure.... lovely lady). On the flip-side, my paternal grandfather was so warm and sweet and everyone loved him.
@Danielle King. Same here. My mother once explained her mom to us as someone who was raised in the "children should be seen and not heard" era. This explanation came after a visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house that resulted in a huge fight between our dad and grandmother because she yelled at us for jumping on beds and being loud and my dad didn't appreciate someone else yelling at us for once lol. Never been upset that my mom would go for years without speaking to her mother.
My (now ex) husbands mom convinced him to move us across the country to be closer to them. I did not want to, but got kinda railroaded into it. Well wouldn’t you know, in the 2 years since we’ve been here with her heavily influencing our lives, our marriage caved. In November when we were having problems, I took my rings off. I later found texts from her telling him to kick me out, change the locks and drain our bank accounts.
He said “she’s just trying to protect me”
😂 I’m the mother of her grandchildren, and I have no one here. She was straight up going to have me be homeless if he had taken her advice. Fuck that biiiitch.
Honey I’m glad you divorced him and took the kids, he wasnt standing up for you or your children.
That's fked up! Usually I don't go for divorce, but in this situation you did the right thing 4 u and them babies.
I like to think I would have changed the locks and drained the accounts if I were you. Hope it ended up well for you and terrible for mil
I remember hearing a story from one of my friends (who is fluent in ASL) about one of his classmates. She was very good, picked up the language quickly and wanted to become an interpreter.
Graduation rolls around and she’s selected to be interpreter for the whole school. She does very well except for a flub. Afterwards, she went up to her parents and her mom said “Wow, you messed up.”
It took all for my friend not to deck the mom. Classmate’s shoulders slumped and her face fell. She stopped using ASL.
Oh wow, my heart broke for the poor girl who wanted to quit piano because of her toxic grandmother!!!!! 😥💔
omg the comeback from one of the Redditers for her to tell the husband after making love that she was "disappointed in his performance" was frickin' GOLD !!!!!!!!! 😂👏👏👏
For the evil piano grandma, I hope she will confront grandma in front of the child with something like "just because you don't see value in learning a musical skill doesn't diminish her achievement, you are suprisingly critical for someone who couldn't play chopsticks let alone do what she just did".
I think the grandmother insulting the daughter at her performances and the father allowing the harsh criticism is their passive aggressive way of trying to get the girl to quit. Neither of them think playing the piano is worth the time or money, so this may be their way of discouraging her. If she actually quits they can do the "I told you so" song and dance with plausible deniability. It's vile and toxic.
It is. I don’t often advocate for divorce I’m these stories. This is one of the few times I will. Otherwise this is going to happen every time this poor girl want to do anything this grandma father duo deems “not useful”. It will not stop if she quits piano, and this will result in some serious issues for that poor girl. If the father can’t grow up and act like a father then he shouldn’t be one. Divorce.
Oh boy, that piano post triggered my PTSD. I used to love art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, but it was a hobby, it was never anything I wanted to do for a living. For that, I wanted to work in radio. Rock radio. My step-dad constantly berated me and told me I wasn’t good at doing anything but art. And that I would be doing Art for a living because that was all I was good for. In the end, he destroyed my passion for art which was sad because it used to help me relax. He made it so it only brought me stress. Oh I and did work rock radio in the end. For 15 years. My step dad was an ad man for radio and had loads of contacts and refused to help me. I did it all on my own.
Extracurricular activities are a great way for kids to become well rounded and boost their self esteem. They don’t have to grow up to be a concert pianist (or even want to) to benefit. I think even just learning to stick it out and work hard at something even though you don’t see immediate results is a necessary life skill. Discouraging your kids from playing certain games or pursuing the arts is not going to get them closer to being a doctor, MOTHER.
When I was little, I told my mother I wanted to be a vet, and she talked me out of it by describing all the animals I’d have to put to sleep. When I said I wanted to be a ballerina, she said it would damage my body to the point I’d be crippled by 40. I said I wanted to be a paleontologist, and she said being outside all the time would give me skin cancer. For the record, I did not grow up to be a doctor, but she’s dead so at least she can’t give me grief over it. I became a nurse, which frankly she’d have been pretty embarrassed about if she’d lived to see it.
Oh, that sounds...heart wrenching! I once read something along the lines:
"Be careful what you say to your children - it will become their inner voice." and think this is quite on point.
Don't worry, the way you describe her, she wouldn't be proud (or show it) anyways. I know the type, nothing you ever do is good enough for them..
It's more important that you're proud of yourself!
Much love.
As a piano player myself, even having my amazing, supportive parents around concerts is extremely stressing. I cannot imagine having somebody as vile as that girl's grandmother watching me. I feel so sorry for her! Charlotte is totally right - divorce your husband who won't even stand up for his own daughter
When my mother started to criticize my sons artwork and always in front of my then wife but never in front of me, I had a talk with her, caught her a few times later on and she always said it was to help him get better. I pointed out telling him he wasn't good was not helpful. I warned her more than once and when she didn't stop, I did something I thought I'd never do, I told her no more. I cut her out, between treating my son like that, she didn't treat my wife well either (see, I married the "wrong" woman in her eyes), so that was it, I love my mom, but I chose my son and wife over it all. She didn't think I'd follow through. I did. I'm divorced now, but that has nothing to do with anything I talked about here. WHOLE other story. My son? 33 now and still drawing and painting, sends me updates and pics of his work on a regular basis and I love it.
As always, LOVE your content and though I don't have any atm, life isn't kind right now, I will be getting some petty merch as soon as I can, but you should compile videos and pics taken of all your subs (sounds almost kinky heh heh heh) and put together a video of everyone wearing petty merch. I'll try to get mine in the next couple of months, once things settle down. Keep up the great work and stay safe.
You sound like an absolute gift.
@@lenab447 Not sure about that, but thank you so much. That put a smile on my face and a warmth in my heart. Hope you're doing well.
The piano one is just so sad to me. How can a grandmother act that way? And the husband not standing up for his wife and daughter is a big red flag for me. I see a divorce in their future...
Hopefully
I've never liked the way people tend to go straight to "dump his ass!" after hearing one person's story about a few isolated incidents without knowing the context of their relationship as a whole.
But in this case? God, I hope she dumps his ass.
Miss Charlotte calling the grandma that was disappointed by the granddaughter’s performance a (completely bleeped out word that was even obstructed by a box telling me to use my imagination and preventing me from lip reading the fact that she called her) a c-word! 😳 Oh my! I had no idea you spoke that way Miss Charlotte; but I’m here for it especially in this context. And you’re not wrong.
I know, I was so shocked I actually did a spit take, since I was watching while having breakfast
have ya'll not been watching a long time? potato queen has a bit of a potty mouth when necessary + i love it! lol also in general, it seems to me like canadians, brits + aussies are not as offended by the c-word as americans are. i'm in the us + personally love that word in the right situation lol
I hope you saying “speaking that way” you do not mean “disrespectful”, because she deserves every bit of it!
As a person who’s grandma was and still is doing unspeakable things, I might have said even more than that.
Just because she is the grandmother, this doesn’t mean that she is entitled to bully her own granddaughter! No one is!
On the contrary, she should be the person that keeps her secure, not the one causing her insecurities.
I agree. It's pretty clear that the grandmother...
Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking
@@hesherette I is a HUGE Miss Charlotte fan, have binged her stuff, subscrahb’d, and even set an alarm to beat the notifications (it upsets my boss but……it’s Miss Charlotte!) and I am familiar with the potty mouth. It was the contempt and rapidity with which it was used that got my attention. 😉 And she’s absolutely justified in its application in this context.
You may be right about American sensitivities tho. I don’t understand them and I’m American! How we gonna get upset at word choices when there are far greater concerns?!
That one about the grandmother putting down the kid at her performances...I relate to that sooo much. For years, every time my grandmother would come over to visit, she'd insist on hearing me play piano. She'd always criticize everything, rarely did she have something positive to say (and when she did, it would be something like "you have the technique"...She has never played piano in her life. The only instrument she's ever attempted was guitar and she gave up on that decades ago - honestly it didn't last that long... What the hell does she know about technique????). It made me feel so bad about my playing that I swore off playing in front of her, so when she would come over after that, I'd make up an excuse as to why I wasn't able to give her her own little concert. Nowadays, I still play but I have a complex about playing piano in front of anyone, even my parents. I can't do it - I wait until there's no one else at home and just play for myself.
The mom not wanting the grandmother there is spot on ... one little thing tho ... he is not acting like a husband and father ... he is more like a mama's boy that needs mommy whispering in his ear how proud she is of her baby boy ......
At my cousins wedding, the mil was dirty dancing with whoever was on the dance floor even if they were dancing with someone else, and making such a spectacle that the matron of honour stuck a plate full of cake on the seat, chocolate and berries left a really bad stain all over, she never danced after that and the bride was so happy, fun to watch
The cake in the chair ROFL.. Tops it right up there with the wine spill. Thats epic! Sometimes you try to level with these people and they wont let up.
Omg I love that lady 😂 well done her 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
As the child of a grandparent abuse like this: my heart is absolutely breaking for that little girl. I hope her mom helped to build her up & she’s now thriving
The wine spilling sibling is an angel.
Hubby in the “Critical Grandma” situation needs to grow a set, or pack.
My paternal grandmother was a momzilla from hell.
She’s been dead 27 years, and she’s still a problem.
hubby and his mom wants daughter to stop playing piano. that's why husband invites his mom to insult his daughter
The grandma who put her granddaughter down reminded me of a story my friend told me. In the TV show, "Leave It To Beaver," the mother of the kid who played Beaver's best friend would tell the director, camera, & other crew members how to do THEIR job. She was not in the business, herself. Eventually, the crew got so sick of it, they wrote Beaver's best friend out of the show to get rid of her.
My son had a piano teacher who came to our home. The boys dad used to position himself behind them exuding negativity. After 2 experiences of this, 2 minutes into the next lesson, the piano teacher ordered him out the room (in his own house!) She told him (accurately) that his mere presence in the room created so much tension & anxiety, even Mozart wouldn’t be able to play!
Good for her! I’m sure he reported all this “abuse” to whatever mistress he currently had. About 3 years after this, I came home with groceries & he immediately went upstairs & came down with 2 packed suitcases. I asked, “aren’t you even going to say goodbye to them?”
He said, “No. Alice (mistress of the moment) doesn’t like kids.”
Mistress was married too. No kids but rich. So “daddy” married money-mistress when she got divorced & my sons were dumped. No custody battle. He didn’t want them. He told me, “I’m dissatisfied with them. They’re not good enough.”
BTW: They were WONDERFUL. Still are in their forties now. Advanced degrees, married to compassionate, brainiac women, have great jobs & own lovely homes. I have a treasure of a granddaughter.
Daddy? He died of a brain tumor years ago. KARMA
Only once did my husband take his mom's side against me. That's all it took, I told him straight out not to be a momma's boy and be a man and stand by his wife or pack up and go back to his momma for good. We have been married 44 years now, no problems!
So the hubby is going to continue to invite MIL until OP does what he calls “using the daughter as a tool to fight with mom“? I would say “Okay, then YOU’RE not invited to any more plays either, and I want a divorce.” The husband is on his mom‘s side and I think it’s time for OP to rethink her marriage.
💯💯 Totally !!
The first story was amazing.
The story involving the grandmother and the granddaughter with the piano is messed up. Makes me grateful my parents never did that and offered actual constructive criticism with my hobbies. No grandmother or husband should act that way. Plus, playing any sort of music is a great skill and can lead to scholarships even if she doesn’t major in music by the time she hits college.
My Mom criticized me constantly for everything from my clothes, hair, weight, attitude, etc. The 2 things that were untouchable were any hobbies (athletic, musical, dance, baking, sewing) and schoolwork (I was top 10 in school and even smarter than her can-do-no-wrong sons). If I was out there doing something in front of others, whether I was good or not. I got encouragement and lived for those moments. In my 60's, my self esteem is still in the toilet thanks to the other criticisms. I think Mom was just a narcissist who encouraged things people could praise HER for "she's so smart" "she's such a good cook" "she did well on stage" and hated me for things she thought embarrassing (too long hair, shirts too short, too fat, too skinny (yes, I was both at different times), not an important enough job, etc.)
I had a mother and grandmother who would insult anything I did growing up. This has lead to being 30 with no confidence a lot of trust issues and any time I feel the slightest pinch of happiness quickly fading. Even with friends pointing out the good things I do I still hear all the negative things repeated in my head so for the father to say oh it’s helping is a bunch of bull the grandmother needs a good kick in the behind.
There are so many benefits to learning a musical instrument! All of my children took piano lessons, and my inlaws were always so proud when they attended their piano recitals! I didn't realize how lucky I was to have caring parents and inlaws.
That spilling of the wine on that mother is well deserved 😂 I started clapping haha
The grandmother one hit a little harder than I expected it would. To preface this my actual nan is a sweetheart but apply what this lady is doing to her grandchild and that's what my dad did with me. He constantly tore down my love for writing, to the point I have no faith in myself. And now he's in a new relationship he acts like he always SUPPORTED me so it's a double slap in the face. Believe me breaking a child's dreams with abrasive words forever etches itself into the soul, I hope the mother gets her and her kid away from that toxic environment before the damage is irreversible 🙁
Words stick.
The red wine spillage, genius. The piano playing grandaughter is being subjected to mental abuse, by both her GM and her dad. The mom of the little girl needs to start recording any interaction between GM and her daughter have, plus her husband's reaction. Go to a dam good divorce attorney and show him the footage.
The first one ...she HAD to be the "centre of attention". The wine was brilliant, the fake trip, and the courtesy bottle of beautiful wine after ...BANG ON😍
Definitely an AWESOME and hilarious video! The first one about the lady spilling wine on her mother's dress set the tone for the rest of the video! LOVED THE PETTINESS!
As someone with a toxic mom, thank you for sharing these astonishing examples. Not only do I get a reminder that I'm not the only one, but I get to laugh about it as well. 😂
Thank you for sharring! Me too
And just in time to take the sting off of mother's day! Here's to healing, and giggling w Charlotte. 😊
Same! I hope she makes more of these.
Yeah.. Same here.. With toxic mom.. but i can't stand up against my mom🙄.. but whenever i get into arguments with my mom i play Charlotte Dobre on full Volume 😂
I’m sorry to say that I’m not shocked about the husband’s response to his wife asking not to invite MIL to their daughter’s performances. My guess is that he was gaslit his entire life by his mother and bent over backwards and accepted her insults as truth. He just learned to “take it” from her. My mom was sometimes the same way - I was driven to suicidal ideology but finally learned to stand up for myself and believe in myself and not her lies. I’m happy to report we have a much better relationship now.
Back to their story - the mom of their 13-year-old daughter did what her daughter was too scared to do. She stood up to her abusive MIL and husband was unfortunately brainwashed by all the gaslighting. Husband doesn’t see a problem with the way his mother is insulting their daughter because he’s used to it - sad reality. Mom absolutely has the right to ask that MIL not come to performances because I feel like the least a grandparent figure should do is to be supportive and if she can’t even do that and is destroying her granddaughter’s self-esteem she shouldn’t be invited. I feel terrible for their situation.
All that being said, Charlotte I think you’re an amazing content creator and I watch you daily!!! You always cheer me up even if it’s bitching at stupid people like this!!! Makes me feel like I’m not crazy!
He’s in so deep that even his arguments don’t make sense. He said him and his mom agreed that they want his daughter to become a doctor; his mom said that the wife is wasting HIS money on something as useless as piano lessons; Yet he says that what his mom is doing is constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is pointing out errors and give advice in how to improve. So he is pretty much a hypocrite cuz, the idea of giving constructive criticism is that you want that person to improve and get better in what they’re doing, a.k.a. approving of what they’re doing. In my opinion, there’s no other route than to divorce. I played in my head; even if they get couples therapy he would find a way to insert his mother into their COUPLES THERAPY.
I’m betting he is more similar to the mom & will never support his wife over her
I had the same stuff with my mom. Gas lit by her vitcimhood my whole life. Finally after many many years of dealing with psychotic mom and seeing how well my dad was doing after they divorced when I was 25, and counseling for stuff in my own life falling apart. I finally started to see how toxic she was in my life and cut her off for over a year. She acted like she changed some so we very slowly let her back into our lives a little at a time and then she was good for a bit and recently went full blown crazy again. Now that I really see who she is I can look back and see lots of things in my childhood that caused me trauma growing up that I had no idea What I had really been through.
To those of you with super toxic mothers, set hard boundaries and stick to them. If they break them cut them off. Trust me your life will be so much better off without that toxic narcissist trying to sabotage your life.
The cackle you let out over the "constructive criticism" bit was absolutely the best, and also matched my own cackle, lol.
Loved this one. 😆 Listening to the story of the woman telling her granddaughter her performance wasn’t good enough, I have to say that one of my big peeves in life is people who dress up spite as a virtue, by saying they’re just “telling it how it is”. You can be honest without being hurtful in most situations, and there are other situations where the only reasonable option is to keep your mouth the hell shut. That woman should’ve taken the second option. “Telling it how it is” is just an excuse for cruelty, with people like that.
That first one was absolutely awesome. I hope those two SIL’s have many wonderful times together in the years to come.
Oh, this one hit so close to home! My mil is a downright despicable person, a textbook narcisist who lives for emotional blackmail. Right now I'm blessed with her not talking to me and I've woved to keep it like that! And I'm getting myself some "Petty" merch asap to keep up the right attitude!
As someone who has had to deal with asshole family members putting me down my entire life and now seeing the pattern repeat through my daughter when she attends family events, (since i no longer attend and there is no one else to pick on) hearing about other situations where family destroys a childs self confidence and trying to dictate the direction their lives are to go in, brings me peace but also triggers rage in me. Peace because its nice to know we are not the only ones who are experiencing toxic family members and their dysfunctional behaviors, but rage because no one should have to tolerate such bullshit. Especially from family. Thankfully my daughter and I are on the same page and can move forward by avoiding them and events now as much as possible until we can move out of state and have a fresh start. But it seems that the woman with the aspiring piano player child is in a much irritating situation as its her own husband who cant see how toxic his mother is acting towards his daughter. I think it needs to be normalized that it's okay to cut family off when they are harming you more than they are supporting you. As well as calling out their toxic behaviors so they know why they are being cut off. Family doesnt mean you need to put up with abuse. Hopefully they can work this situation out without getting a divorce. But it kind of sounds like her husband is just as toxic as his mother. So a divorce may not be a bad idea in the long run. Parents need to stop expecting their children to be who they want them to be and let them be who they are.
Preach!
So thankful for my momma! A truly wonderful woman with a tremendous heart and spirit! Now I need to call her! 🥺
Yeah you should definitely call your mom, she'll appreciate it
@@champ1159 as soon as I get off of work. I don’t mind laughing, snorting, or looking a fool while watching Miss Charlotte but crying cuz I miss my momma is something I’m not prepared to do at work.
@@davidguidry657 LOL, fair enough 😂
That first one was so glorious, I rewound it just to hear it again! Man, I wish I could’ve seen that live! 🤣🤣🤣
If my husband allowed his mother to bring down one of my kids like that, I would be looking into separation or a divorce.
Doesn't matter how much I love him, he is hurting our kids, and that is something I would never accept.
omg that grandmother who kept putting down her granddaughter's piano performance almost made me want to throw hands💀🤚🏻
Nah... I would have responded : Well, can you try playing the piano since you're the expert? Oh... You can't? Was your fingers arthritic?
Throw hands???? I'd be swinging sledgehammers, at both hubby and grannybitch.
Same here, I would have lost it right then and there!
Me too! I started actually yelling at my phone!
It was difficult growing up in a toxic environment, the physical and mental scars are hard reminders of what shaped me into who I am.
my opinion: every wedding should have some kind of security at the entrance and if any family members especially come in those doors wearing a bridal dress to not let her/him in into the venue.
Just found your channel and LOOOOOOVE IT! And you are the reason why! When I first met my ex-husband's mother, we went driving around for a garage sale in her neighborhood. As we were driving back to their house, she pulled over, stopped the car, looked me dead in my eyes and said, "If you ever do anything to hurt my son, I will put a hex on you. And I know just how to make them work." Yup, she was a witch. Through and through.
The woman and the glass of red wine.. She rocks! We all think it but she is a DOER!
Omgosh Charlotte I laughed so hard at you screaming thru your teeth. Could you hear this Grandma's cackle from mid-Illinois?
This makes my blood boil. If my future husband and future mother-in-law pulled that shit, I'm leaving. that woman isn't criticizing. that is straight bullying. her own grandma is bullying her to a point where she no longer loves what she's doing. what is constructive about what she said? nothing. "your performance is disappointing" I would have said something mean. OP needs to put her foot down and demand change or she'll leave. and she needs to stand strong.
Edit: if someone finds the story on Reddit please send me the link. I need an update or something
The "...tonight's performance was disappointing" comment had me on the floor LMAO😂😂😂😂
yeah, the wife was too nice to grandmother...I would have verbally berated her for that...
One of my grandmothers was hurtful towards me and my brother growing up because of our weight. While we remained nice to her, we never had a real loving relationship with her. Thankfully, our other Grandmother was always loving and warm. She lived to see 90, and we had a strong relationship with her until she passed away two years ago. Our parents always had our backs though, and finally confronted our other grandmother about her words. She stopped saying hurtful things. I was just finally able to forgive her in my heart a few months ago. It felt good to forgive her, even though she’s no longer here. I’m not carrying the hurt anymore, and it feels good to be free of that.
Sending prayers to everyone still healing from hurtful childhoods. You are loved, and you are valued. ❤️
Dude the the MIL critiquing the play happened to me! I was in a play back in April and May. Poured everything I could into this. I was one of the first ones to memorize my lines. I went to several set builds on Friday nights and some Saturday ones. My character got injured in the show so I made my own injury and my own fake blood. I studied for hours how to do a British accent. Broke down line by line what was happening and why. What was my character's motive etc. On top of all of this. Director let us do whatever but borderline no direction for us. Our lead didn't know all his lines. I kept having asthma attacks from anxiety being wracked up. So there was the effort of chilling out and being able to rescue our lead when he stood there forgetting his lines. My fiance and his family saw our matinee performance. I get back to his parents place and the only thing they told me I did good was scream. They (each said a different thing) critiqued my British accent saying it sounded more Russian in certain areas, the said they couldn't understand a certain line that I had worked on what was being said (there was a lot of emotion tied into so I decided to scream it), they had no clue what was going on in a flashback scene because our director didn't let us use props, one of them told my mom it was weird seeing my hands all over my show boyfriend during the show (that was not the case at all). It was so many things that I ended up crying because I felt like this role I invested so much into (especially the areas I invested into most) was the areas they picked apart the most that I actually did garbage. I feel so much for this 13 year old because at 23 I know how badly I felt hearing that. From your grandma? That would destroy me.
I will say I am an extremely protective Mama. I would not let anyone hurt my kids. But when they are adults, they have to make their own chooses. I have finished my job. If they want my honest opinion, I'll give it. Outside of that, it's on them and I am just there for support. So far my adult kids still like to hang with me lol (also helps to have a lot of kids. I have seven and you can't get all hyper focused on them when you have to spread yourself around)
"This is what God wants me to do" was the exact same words when I asked my mom why she cheated on my dad 😂 And she wonders why I don't follow Christianity with her...
What the hell? I swear religious people are nuts.
Excuse me??? I'm pretty sure that’s like a sin in christianity?
You should have answered with: "You sure it wasn't a _demon_ telling you to violate the Sixth Commandment?"
@@JasminMiettunen yes, it’s the sixth commandment
Wow. 😬... I'm sorry!! On behalf of the Christians who don't manipulate people, CAN respect healthy boundaries, and follow what God has actually said, I apologize for people like this who act like that and then call themselves followers of Jesus. I promise we're not all like that!! I hope you're doing well now 🤍🤍
I would have sent that first lady a case of red wine of her choosing. Thats how you do it.!!!
I'm glad neither of my parents/grandma was like that when I first learnt piano. Mum made a deal, we had to learn up to a certain level before deciding to quit. I got to there and swapped to flute but I could already read music so it was so much easier. Grandparents loved coming to my school concerts (I hated performing tho...anxiety, but exams etc needed a public performance part in them). Nan and Pa bought me a 2nd hand piano for my 16th birthday (in time for my big high school exams 🇦🇺)
My 12yo auditioned for his school’s talent show. There was an audio issue and he ended up forgetting half of the words. Did we criticize him? No! We told him we were proud of him and it was ok. He sounded good even with the mistakes. Maybe next time he should practice more, but I wasn’t disappointed in him at all. That grandmother sucks!!
Oh and follow up, he had a huge solo with his chorus and did so well!! Kids need encouragement not criticism.
Good for your son being bold enough to try out.
As someone who's done theater for around a decade now, not collapsing under pressure when things go wrong is necessary but *extremely* difficult. Practice and encouragement help, but you'll never have a flawless performance.
Forgetting half the words? He remembered half! And he was able to pull through when I'm sure he hasn't had much practice performing in front of an audience. There's a reason I don't do solos in musicals; I'm so terrified of being wrong that I don't even attempt. It took about 8 years to audition for and accept a duet part (no solos,
Won't let me edit after accidentally hitting send.
Just wanting to add that your kid should feel dammed proud and not back down from the challenge of trying again.
My husband's mother was gifted a amtrack ticket from us every xmas so she could spend it with her twin boys. We bought her presents as well to open on Xmas. Found out from my SIL that she sold every gift we gave her and talked about me behind my back ...oh well she's gone now.
I really disdain individuals that feel the need to criticize a young child on something they are trying to do. Hopefully, one day to excel at. Dude should have told his mother to keep her comments to herself if she had nothing nice to say.
Yeah, I’m definitely more disappointed in the “dad” who is not protecting his child from that criticism than anyone else in that story. Even the grandma may have redeeming qualities (although compassion and emotional intelligence is not among them) but a male parent (I can’t even call him a dad) that can’t see the damage it does to his daughter and protect her from that doesn’t deserve the family he has. You know he endured that same treatment growing up and quit a good many things because of it but now he sees it as normal instead of as something that needs to change.
@CrazyCat Lady absolutely, especially until they learn the difference between spiteful criticism vs Constructive Criticism.
@@davidguidry657 Totally agree with what you're saying.
@@Hawksbane77 you are absolutely right. I’ve noticed that a fair number of adults don’t even know/understand that difference unfortunately.
Damn, at my wedding my new mil was going around telling everyone that this wasn't the real wedding and that we would be having a huge lavish party the following year interstate where they lived. For context the parents in law were very materialistic and needed to keep up appearances of everything being expensive, the best and perfect. Our wedding was a lovely small vent with just family and also friends who were so close they were like family. Leading up to the wedding quite a lot of his family friends were saying they couldn't come, and we found out that was also because the mil had been telling them that our wedding wasn't the real thing. They clearly thought our smaller wedding was shameful to them, seen as a reflection on their perfect image. They did not contribute to our wedding in any way. Eventually on one of the following days I asked who exactly was paying for this 2nd hug lavish wedding we had never planned or agreed to, and the parents expected that to be me. They were shocked to find out how much our smaller wedding actually cost and wouldn't be contributing to the more flashy thing they were talking about since it was way too expensive. I'm happy to say I am no longer in laws to that family. Turns out their son was just as bad.
The first story literally filled up my eyes 😌 so wholesome 👏🏽♥️😭 this is how siblings should have eachother's back if they're cursed with a narcissist for a mother ☠️
loving the girl who “accidentally spilled wine” on her mother’s inappropriate white dress @ her sons wedding!! OH HELL NO!
My grandchildren live (with their parents) hundreds of miles away. When I want to see them I use ZOOM or hop on a jet. I do NOT demand that their parents relocate to a place near me.
Criticism of her piano playing should be left to her PIANO TEACHER. Even if grandmother were a professional pianist, it is NOT FOR HER to criticize the girl. Leave it to the piano teacher.
Demeaning the girl pianist is a SHOW STOPPER. If spouse does not consent to absence of his mother, wife should try each of these in order:
1. Marital counseling
2. Absolute no contact between grandmother and girl
3. If both of these fail, then DIVORCE is in order. Children come FIRST, ahead of in-laws and even spouses. She should NOT permit her daughter to be abused. PERIOD.
7:23 I say stop inviting Dad as well
should have told her husband, "It's not constructive critisism, it's bullying. You're trying to get her to stop doing what she wants so that she'll (for you hopefully) do what YOU want to do. You're not being a father and supporting her, you're being a bully so that she'll do your bidding."
7:00....they claim they want her to be a doctor...studies have shown that kids who also play a musical instrument do better in things like mathematics and other analytical tasks. They aren't thinking, just being hateful.
And if they want her to be a surgeon then the dexterity from playing piano will actually help.
Wow did this ever bring back memories of my mom when my kids were growing up. At one point she told me that I was helping lead my children to hell. Things built to a point where during a fight I actually HAD TO CALL THE POLICE to have her removed from our property... it took a couple of years of no contact before she mellowed enough for us to allow her back into our lives. I'm so grateful that my older sister, who my mom listens to, backed us up.
Oh God. I am moving out and away from my super controlling parents in the fall and going low contact. I am honestly terrified of how they are going to react. Glad to know I’m not the only one with crazy parents though!
I wish you all the best of luck! 🥰 My best friend left her mom’s house and she was so happy to have separation from the excessive control she had over her life. They have a better relationship these days since having boundaries and distance. I can only hope the same for you. 🙌🏼
Have everything in place before you tell them. Your exit will go more smoothly than dealing with them and finding a new place to live, buying furniture, dishes etc. They can't dissuade you after all is said and done and first and last is paid.
Check out Dr. Ramani on UA-cam for info on narcissism (may be relevant). A book that you might want to check out is Self-care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. You may be overwhelmed with shame/guilt at times but don't give in. A good therapist can make a big difference at times like this. Good luck!
Charlotte you’re the friend that everybody wants and needs in their life who will be the one to call out BS but also be there as the back up when needed.
Can I just say that PETTY mug is just so perfect. Lol 😆 I love it!!!
Charlotte!! Thank you for making my 10 days of Covid recovery/quarantine entertaining! I found your channel (a rare win for the UA-cam algorithms) last week and have been binging your vids all week!! Keep up the amazing work!
Please get well soon! And welcome to Tater Nation. Miss Charlotte is our Potato Queen (see her channel for an explanation of that) and we are Tater Tots, her loyal subjects. Remember to “subscrahb!” And come back daily for a new video. I promise, you’ll enjoy every one of them!
Feel better ❤
If my son decides to grow up and work waste management, I would be proud of him for doing hard work. I always tell my boys that I want them to be happy and to be kind.
To be fair, waste management pays well. And it isn't glamorous but knowing that it's *you and your job* keeping the community running gives a sense of purpose to the job that many office workers don't have.
Some of these remind me of my future mother-in-law and sister-in-laws 😂 they are all sociopaths and I’m glad my future mother-in-law no longer has access to our daughter. She blamed my future husband for things he has no control of and started to blame him for her and I not having a “closer relationship” when she treated him like the black sheep. She gave him no attention until our daughter and I became part of his life. I stood up for him for the way she treated him and apparently she didn’t like that. She told me I needed to respect my elders and I told her no. That I’m going to stand up for my loved ones even if I’m standing up against family. No one treats people who are dear to me in any negative way.
I just discovered this channel and has fallen in love! I love the petty! I love the drama. I love the comedy. This is great. Look forward to more videos
I know of two surefire ways to increase a child’s capacity to learn as young children up to college age, there may be more ways. One is to teach your youngster a second language the other is to teach your youngster to play an instrument! So for the mom that is having her daughter take Piano Lessons, keep up the good work! ❤
I LOVE THIS CHANNEL! Flip yes weddings! Love the drama!
lol, "meet my friend Mary. Last name Jane". Funny.
I won't lie, part of me keeps hoping Texas will legalize so I can get my mom baked. Maybe I'll try to take her to Colorado or something. She's got lots of pain issues, who knows it might help. And if nothing else, she's always been pretty funny. I'm guessing baked mom would be a fun afternoon.