Modesty: What Our Parents Never Told Us...
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
- * Hey wonderful people! Thanks for all your amazing feedback on our video! If you want to keep up to date with what we're doing these days, head on over here: bit.ly/hellobwell xoxo!*
We weren't brought up with your typical "Christian Modesty" rules. Watch the video to learn more! Check out the blog: bit.ly/2e95tFm
You're absolutely correct... if modesty doesn't come from the heart it's just a mindless action. Thanks for sharing!
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
@@thewriter2634 I respectfully agree and disagree. You are right our bodies are beautiful, and we need not be ashamed of them. But that doesn't mean that we should display everything to everyone simply because we can. Clothing can be too revealing, and there are designs that can be tasteful, and good character seeks to respect everyone by covering what needs to be covered. When we respect ourselves, then we can respect others.
@@evesanchez5187 *And it seems to me that you're coming from the dogmatic view of religion thinking that you can't be a true believer if you're showing skin (not necessarily naked). This is a false ideology. 1 Samuel 16:7 tells us that God doesn't care about the outside appearance but the heart. The idea of physical modesty is a man made ideology that has no truth or weight to it. 👇*
*"Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:7*
@@thewriter2634 You are taking I Samuel 16:7 out of context. This passage was in regards to anointing David as king. King Saul was a particular build and stature typical of a king during that time period. David was a shepherd boy. God revealed to Samuel that he wasn't looking at the outward build of a king but rather the condition of David's heart.
Real modesty comes from a condition of the heart. A modest woman is respectful of their bodies. They can dress tastefully. This is not a dogmatic religious viewpoint... it's just utilizing respect for self and others.
@@evesanchez5187 *The point is that David's origins shows the view of which God sees the world as opposed to ours. When we view morality or righteousness, we see things through a narrow minded approach that puts emphasis on worthless things (how often you go to church, how often you read the Bible, how much skin you're showing, if you pray 3 times a day or before every meal) that have no true value. But when God looks for righteousness, He looks for virtues beyond the finite beliefs of the world (religion and politics). When Samuel (a man) looked for a leader for God's kingdom, he looked for the first list I mentioned but God chose the latter example. When David went off to battle, Saul tried to DRESS HIM ACCORDING TO THEIR CUSTOMS, a blatant nod to physical modesty but David declined this and went into battle dressed in his shepherd’s gear and needing only God's protection as armor. The lesson learned from this is that the idiotic, dogmatic views of religion and politics that are in place because of humans is flawed and therefore not God's Word at all. Clothing doesn't matter since it's not a God based design, the heart matters since that (physically and spiritually) is a Godly design. Genesis makes it clear as does every other Bible book.*
Even as a non-religious person I value modesty and other Christian values.
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
I'm still a teenager (15), and I wasn't raised with modesty rules but I always chose clothing that was modest! My parents also let me express my creativity (I wore stuff from prairie dresses to poodle skirts) and now I have a vintage style.
Madeline Daunt Me too!
Madeline Daunt I bet you look absolutely gorgeous!
One of my daughters has dress modestly evee since she had a saying in the clothes she wears
Madeline Daunt live for God with a fear of respect and you will be glad you did
I love vintage and praire dresses ❤
I'm 17 years old and I wasn't raised with modesty either- my parents let me wear whatever. And I did that. I wore short shorts and short skirts and never thought much of it until I started walking to places on my own. I couldn't walk to the store or home from school without being stared at or whistled at. On one occasion, I was riding my bike with short shorts and a man turned his truck around just to see me again. I realized that that's not how I want to live; I don't want to want to be a sexual object. When I got my first midi skirt I realized the freedom that comes with dressing modestly. I'm currently working on transitioning my wardrobe into a modest one and I don't regret that decision at all. My only worry is that my peers with shun me, but perhaps the people who would aren't the people I want to be friends with in the first place.
Ok but why should women need to cover up to stop disgusting men? Its their responsibility to not be a creep, not the womans
Late response, but wanted to offer you some reassurance. If you continue to dress in styles that you like and are proportional/flattering in a modest way, your peers very likely won't even notice the change, let alone shun you! And midi skirts, longer shorts, and higher waistbands are completely on trend right now to boot.
@Vician
That's just sadly how a good percentage of men are. You can't change that, but you can take precautions against it.
Although you expect people not to break into your house and steal your stuff, you do your best to prevent that from happening by hiding your valuable stuff, and not leaving the front door open.
Vivian the dalek well .. you are right .. let's just modify the entire biology .. and lets make some magical pill that will make women understand .. how men see women's body ( secret:not in the same way women see men .. and and it has nothing to do with the culture ) ... silly ppl everwhere
and? that doesnt justify it, u are not a mindless animal. u can search for porn on the internet, u can masturbate, whistling and looking for a long while should never be justified. if u wore tight pants is it ok for a gay to sexualize u? If women arent attracted to looks that much u think a woman cant get wet around a shirtless male? and yes, biologically ur correct, but biologically we should just reproduce and die, no life goals
I'm 15 going on 16 and I love the vintage style (1940-50s British). I have a slowly growing collection of vintage clothes and all the clothes I wear are what I class as modest. I don't feel comfortable in clothes that show off the shape of my lower half or show too much below my collar. I always worry that my vintage style will be a picking point for people to bully me but when I watch your videos I feel better. Thank you for your great work. You are inspiring. 😊
this is such a great video! and the best part for me was how you ladies summed it all up at the end--modesty, as with everything related to our lives as Christians, is a matter of the heart. it is really easy to get caught up in the legalism and the judging and say you HAVE to do things a certain way, but that's not the right way to go about it at all! I'm seeing a lot more of that recently...it's unfortunate, but it reminds me that I need to watch myself and make sure I don't go the same way and become narrow-minded myself. as far as my own modesty, my husband is such a great help! he may not be a fan of shopping, but I love having him with me so I can have his opinion on anything I want to buy, because he may see something about it that I don't, and I love having that second opinion. :)
sorry...crazy long comment, haha! 🙈
I was never taught about modesty and my mother hates that I wear fully covering clothes. I'm not "normal" apparently. (People can only see my hands, ankles and face), it's so nice to see girls like you. I just adore how you dress. The old style is just so beautiful!
Good for you 👍. Modesty is actually far more “ normal” than the way people dress now.
I grew up basically with my mom always having rules about clothes but they were never very strict. It was just basic stuff like if you're wearing a shorter dress, wear shorts under it, if your wearing a bit of a lower cut shirt wear a cami under that. Nothing crazy, just basic things to make sure I was respectfully covered. Nowadays, I'd say I dress pretty average. I wear what I feel comfortable and secure or modest, in. But I'm glad when I was little my mom kind of instilled in me like "Hey, these are the things to cover, and this is how you sit when wearing this type of dress." So she not only taught me what to wear, but how to behave when wearing whatever it was. And I agree, at the end of the day, it's really about your heart. It's about how you live (how you do everything in life, period) before God. 😊
well I am a 15 year old atheist who is definitely not modest (I'm not crazy about small outfits I just wear lots of form fitting stuff) and I'm just wondering how the heck I stumbled on this channel...A lot of my views are opposite from yours, but what you said about how you should only wear something if your heart is in it....that is someone I definitely respect.
Glad you ended up here. I am christian, a couple of my closest friends are atheist. We bring out the best in each other and encourage each other in our strengths. I am so thankful for that.
mkg 21 parents that allow their 15 year old daughter to dress is form fitting...getting attention only from pigs, being promiscuous and statistically ruining your chances of ever having a successful marriage. Not to mention the how sick it is to let your 15 year old dress like a sex object in and of itself. I'm glad conservative parents still exist. H
hugs =] hope you will get to know Yeshua/ Jesus one day. Hugs :) hope u have a nice day. :)
@Skeptics we love you anyway I think you're right... maybe I spoke our of terms there. I'm sorry.
@@whendidyoutubeaddhandles Can people not dress the way they want to without being shamed? Lots of people dress the way they do because they enjoy it. If someone cant keep it in their pants when I dress for myself then that isn't my problem. Forcing your child to not be expressive of themselves is disgusting and horrible.
I find for me that when girls dress modestly it shows three main aspects: wealth (the look of, not the state of), humility, and finesse. All three things that I find absolutely wonderful in any person.
totally agree
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes). All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
I'm spanish and for us, modesty actually has a completely different meaning. It has nothing to with you showing more or less skin. It's about not showing off in any aspect of life. If we are talking of clothing, specifically, and you want to be modest, you won't wear anything very expensive, specially if it will let other people to know how much you have spent in that piece of clothing. For example, disigner clothers, with the name of the disigner all over it, it's not modest for us.
We have the idea of covering up ,as well ,but we use other word for it, "recatamiento" instead of "modestia", and we care much less about it. Actually we have this saying that it will be translated something like: "What worms will eat, let Christians enjoy it". Basicly, it's something you say when someone points out that you are showing too much skin
Delightful! :D I too think inner modesty and not showing off FAR more more significant than exact hem lengths or skin showing. Wear things that say you are a woman of dignity and also a Beautiful Woman! As for not tempting men, ahem. I believe that even if you were to wear a floor length potato sack you could still be seen as a temptation by some, simply because you're not shaped like a man! Be happy to be a woman and let them take responsibility for their own issues. You aren't their conscience, and you can dress with good taste and the JOY of being a woman, not in fear of being a stumbling block.
Interesting, #Haghenveien ... explains alot! thank you!
Haghenveien That's so cool and interesting!
I like this. Thank you for sharing!
Haghenveien , that's what modesty used to mean in English and that's what the Bible talks about (e.g., no flashy, expensive hairdos). The use of the word during my lifetime among conservative Christians is fairly new
Growing up my dad never forced it, but he always sneaked in the questions that made me think about my modesty and clothing choices. I would have something on that might not have been one hundred percent appropriate. He wouldn't tell me outright to go change my clothes, but he would ask me to consider several questions about the clothes I had on. In the end it would be my decision to change my clothes. I discovered modesty in terms of what it means to me now, when I realized that dressing in a manner pleasing to my Father above, made me feel more confident. My family didn't understand going so far as choosing to no longer wear pants on a daily basis (an interesting fact when I discovered that I only have one pair of work jeans in my wardrobe...) It makes me feel good as well as they are easier to sew than pants...
What kind of questions would your dad ask you when you wore something that wasn't 100% appropriate?
Flying V.S. Farm what sort of questions convinced you ? Maybe I can take some guidance from it 👌🏼
Flying V.S. Farm I love your testimony! 💜💗
parents say so much more with their examples than their rules. also raising children with a self esteem high enough not to need that sexual attention is key.
Good point! Our affirmation must be in something other than attention for our appearance, that much is certain. Children raised with this kind of high value are rare and lucky. Strong self confidence and power body language also tend to discourage sexual predators. They often prey on the vulnerable looking. (Just an observation, not a judgement on those who have had bad experiences... Sometimes merely being alive is being vulnerable for the very young or the isolated or alone.)
To sum up: It's encouraging and enabling to focus on aspects of value OTHER than appearance for young people - boys included. :D
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
Your parents were very blessed to have kids like you.
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
Interesting video, thank you for sharing. I got saved at 13 and had always dressed modestly from that point and teach my daughters the same, but I agree wholeheatedly, that it is an attitude of the heart.
I too grew up with parents not setting certain rules for modesty standards. It was not until I also went to some christian conferences that I started to actually become legalistic myself and then realized as an older teen it was about the heart. So now I have my own convictions about what is modest and what is not. But at the center of it all its about glorifying the Lord even with my outer appearance.
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
I was raised with modesty standards that everything had to be at least knee-length, no cleavage, and nothing see-through. However, now I prefer to be more modest than that, and typically cover all or most of my legs with pants, longer skirts, or leggings underneath my knee-length skirts. I also prefer to cover my upper arms, my front up to or over the collarbone, and at least most of my hair whenever I can. My family is actually kind of annoyed by it.
I hate skirts, I wear shorts, jeans, tee shirts, etc. I'm still the most modest person in my class, and probably school. You just have to find out ways to be you, but also modest. Trust me, you can be cool while also covering up. : )
its human nature to love being modest and will covered. nowadays however if you are covered that means you are not confident in your body, and the more you show the more confident you are, to the extent that naked woman body is used everywhere as tool in advertisements for literally EVERYTHING!!!.
what? i hate being modest, i would love to walk around naked...
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
Initially I was a little skeptical of the two of you, but towards the end the girl sitting on the far right said something that struck a cord with me. "Modesty has to come from the person's heart, we can't shackle it with rules and guidelines." So now I'm subscribed!! ❤
For me it all comes down to what I'm comfortable with. I wear shorts but not those super short ones, not because my mom chastises me about it but because I just don't feel comfortable wearing them. I don't dress vintage/modestly because I'm forced to but because I love dressing like that and feel confident wearing it (plus vintage things are BEAUTIFUL).
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
"The homeschool look"...LOL!! :-)
My parents have always made me follow rules when it comes to clothing! I used to never want to go to the beach because they would not let me wear a bathing suit. But now that I have gotten older I realize why . I respect my parents for that and because of their standards God has convicted me about it as well. It has helped me be aware of what I wear and The message it sends to the people who see me. I do wear pants but I make sure that they are modest, and that I wear a longer shirt lol. I feel that The definition of modesty can be different for everyone! But like you said, it can't be just an action it has to be from your heart. So thanks for sharing!!! 💜
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
You ladies are so encouraging! I love your styles and personalities! I am also from Ohio. I was saved almost 3 years ago, and I feel that God has tugged on my heart to dress in a more modest way. I do wear more skirts, but not all the time. I continue to pray to find what God wants for me as far as my dress. I love everything about you ladies! God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!
Rebecca Haley I
agreee !
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
you guys are so much better and more respectful than girl defined. im not religious myself, but thank you for reaching out to girls and giving them actual good and helpful advice.
I am new to dressing modestly only about maybe a year. I am 38 years old so this is all new to me.
Jessica's outfit is so pretty! Actually both are stunning. I really enjoy seeing the creativity put into what they wear. Wish I was that creative! :)
This is beautiful and gives me hope for my children. Thank you for sharing what your parents did.
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
There was Summer Beach Bible Study Group of about 30 people that I was apart of years ago. After much persuading and encouragement I was finally able to get one of my best friends to come join me with the group. (it was my third year being apart of the group) As you can imagine modesty was a priority within the group. Girls were instructed to wear one piece suits or tankini's. Though one girl there (been there for five years) usually wore a tube top and bikini bottoms. And the men rarely went shirtless. In the three years I was apart of the group there was never an issue. Except when my friend tried to join the group. Her first visit she wore a tankini similar to what some other girl would wear once and a while. She was approached within 10 minutes and asked put on a t-shirt, we were not happy about it but she did put on a t-shirt. The follow Sunday she joined me again for the group but this time wearing a one piece suit. But it still wasn't enough... she was once again asked to put on a t-shirt but this time she was given an over-sized XL the net down to her knees. I had an argument with the peer lead group leaders and we could not come to an agreement so that was the last day that my friend and I went to that group.
Your probably wondering why she was treated so differently from the other girls in the group especially with one girl wearing tube tops and bikini bottoms most of the time. Well my friend was very petite, 5'3", exceptionally attractive facial features (she was a model for 2 years), and she had a 26D bra size. The girl with the tube top and bikini bottoms on the other hand had an overly exaggerated pear shaped frame, a little on the heavy side, some may say "plain-jane kind of looks", and flat chested like a man. I learned that day that unfortunately some Christian groups have double standards like that... if someone doesn't have what most would consider to be attractive/sexy/beautiful looks they can nearly wear anything and no one will say anything to them. But if your someone who is considered to be attractive/sexy/beautiful and has certain curves you are expected to go overboard in trying to cover yourself up no matter where your at.
On a brighter note I very much agree with what you girls said. It all comes down to a matter of where your heart is at. Which is between the individual and God... and not for other people to dictate how they think an individual should behave. I encourage men of God to step up and take responsibility for their actions and their thoughts! And stop expecting women to go overboard in trying to cover themselves up, especially when they are clearly trying to be modest.
Adventureinlife
I have had similar encounters!
I mean, I'm all for basic swim modesty rules, but the leaders shouldn't add extra rules for different body types!
Adventureinlife - Thanks for sharing. :) As much as I wish your friend had never had such a scarring experience, your story cheered me by illustrating precisely what I've personally seen and despised all my life about RULES. Guidelines are good, yes, but rules are always either rigidly enforced or blatantly broken - often by the same staff. And there is nearly always some kind of bias or prejudice involved. Also, on the subject of 'modesty', even a massive paper bag style dress or shirt will never quite cover up the unforgivable fact that some people clearly have curves and therefore sinful allure!!! After a while I realized that being a woman was what really upset some people. Look like a small, young girl and you're fine, but look like a full grown, womanly female and you're a temptation? So... for all the young people out there dealing with this, try not to let the legalists of the world upset you too much. They have a little problem with clear thinking. ;)
Yes I to wish my friend never had to experience that. Our long drive back to her place was not a pleasant one. She very much felt like she was being punished for how God made her to look. The message they were sending was loud and clear... it is a sin in-and-of itself to have alluring curves or attractive features. The irony here is that up until this incident I thought it was solid group of Believers who were doing a great job of shine their light of Jesus for all to see at the beach. Which I suppose they were for the most part but I now do recall that from time to time equally curvy, attractive women, who were just strangers at the beach, would come up to the group and show interest in Jesus and displayed a desire to join in group, at least for that night. Unfortunately each time that happened it was impossible to not see uneasiness and unwelcome attitude that many people in the group showed them. So of course those women would always end up leaving shortly after trying to join in with the Bible study group. Thankfully thoe, in the years passing, I have since met some very wonderful Christians who don't behave like that and have a much more sane, rational thinking. Simply focus on having a real, strong and committed relationship with Jesus and all these concerns about being modest FOR other people will be irrelevant. God Speed!
Wow, is this ever true! Thanks for sharing, Adventureinlife.
Yes, I've had similar experiences where I thought I was in a sweet group of genuinely kind and caring Christians, only to discover that they were only sweet when they felt comfortable with how you looked or made them feel. (I feel the word 'prejudice' coming on, LOL...) Usually it was a slightly different kind of person or appearance from 'the norm' that angered or disturbed them, appearances being as IMPORTANT as they are, ahem. It was never the leader's fault or problem. Something about YOU was wrong - no wonder they felt uneasy and had to help you tow the line! Happily, we learn that our loving Heavenly Father is not like that. He made us in His Own Image - beautiful and amazing - no matter what anyone else thinks. And yes, you're so right. The more we walk with Him day by day the more we realize His immense care and love for us individually. :D
I wasn't taught modesty rules per se, but I was raised in a Christian household, so my mom set the standard in her own dress. It was only in my teenage years that my mom had to point out a few things I was wearing that could make men uncomfortable, such as leggings without a long shirt, or shirts that showed too much when I bent over. I experimented a lot with clothes throughout my teenage years, which came out of a place of insecurity about my body. When I entered university, however, I started to find a better balance between flattering and modest clothing (as well as working through my body issues with God). Although most of my friends now describe my closet as one you would find in your grandparents' basement (I tend to have more of a 70s-inspired style), I know that I have found a style that is God-honouring, both in its respect towards men and its embodiment of the person He made me to be. I absolutely love this channel! Your insistence on the heart being that from which everything you do should flow (Proverbs 4:23) is a much needed reminder for all women struggling with the concept of modesty. Thank you so much for your helpful contribution to this issue!
This is the first time I'm hearing anyone talk about Modesty and stress that it starts from the heart and I'm honestly so happy and relieved that others have the same thought process I've been having!!!
This is such a nice thing to hear, I hope to raise my children like you were raised. I was raised with quite strict rules about clothing, and it wasn't good at all. I was also about 13 when my mother suddenly forbid certain things. Anything I wore had to cover my shoulders, and my knees. Skirts that went over my knee had to be worn with non-see through tights and no shorter than 1-hands-width above the knee. I could no longer wear dresses I felt comfortable in and by the age of about 15 she even gave me a hard time about tshirts that didn't cover my ellbow. In my heart I always loved fashion but I began hating it. Being a tall girl all Skirts and Dresses in Shops were always too short or had no arms. Shopping for something I needed is/was always frustrating because in my heart I felt like some of those dresses really weren't immodest, but I simply wasn't allowed to wear them. By the age of 18 I had started seeking loopholes to feel good in what I was wearing - yes this bodycon dress is tight but it's all covered! But after wearing those "loophole styles" I felt even more immodest. Those dresses , I felt, drew more attention than intended. A simple more flowy dress that maybe had shoulder cut-outs would've made me feel more "covered". So now I am trying to find modest styles that I like , but I still find myself not being able to let go of my mothers rules, even though I don't live at home anymore, because somehow, wearing something against her strict rules makes me feel like I wasted so much time , energy and thought in the past to conform to those standards just to throw them away now.
I was not raised christen. When I was in college I started going to a bible based church. I always dressed more modestly then most people in high school ect. I’m 26 years old now and feel called by the Holy Spirit to start dressing modestly. Thank you for your video. It’s hard being a person raised in a secular home making the transition to modesty.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Any updates on your faith journey?
I was a teenager in the mid 60's. My parents actually let me buy a bikini once~and I made a "skirt" to attach to the edge of its top...! LOL
Modesty does come from within.
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
I'm 20. Was definitely lost in my teenage years. I tried to help everyone in all the wrong ways. My mom just said comments about my outfil when I got to short shorts or things like that and was alwayspraise by my family with comments like " you look like a model". Insiting lustful stares whats my deal, because I lovethe power that brought "all eyes on me" but I had no idea all the damage it cause and all the things that I tought where horrible had nothing to do with that. At the end after long secret prayers from my mom, a priest who represented a just and fair male model who treat every single one of its students with dignity and various inspiring close to nature and community that inspire me to believe in something beyond decadence where the graceful things that God put in my path to save me.
I still have a dress full with red roses and high hills in my closet, but I'm not wearing them, but I'm still fighting to get rid of them, just as my thoughts, just as I'm fighting temptation of all sorts.
Thank u. I was raised this way and knowing that someone else wants to dress modestly as well is such a comfort and encouragement.
I'm still really young ( 13 ), and my parents never taught me anything about modesty. My parents aren't believers and I chose by myself to become Christian at the age of 8. I'm slowly trying to live as close to God as possible and that includes dressing modestly. My parents often judge the clothes I wear because they don't believe in this concept. However, it's in modesty that I'm most comfortable with so I surely won't change my lifestyle.
I just became a christian 2 years ago. I didn't fully understand modesty dressing until I watched the duggars show and started reading books and talking to some of the ladies at my church. I would describe myself as modest in dress but I have different standards for myself then what others may have. I am still working on different ways of how to dress modest and my style is constantly changing to fit. For me I don't like to show cleavage or wear too short of dresses or skirts but I have worn more summary dresses and styles and sometimes a bit shorter or a little more skin on top showing. I still find them sweet and somewhat innocent so in my heart I don't take issue with them. I love your style and how you piece items together its great! I must admit from before I was a christian to now my style has drastically changed. I am actually wearing clothes and not just scraps and I feel sexier and more confident.
Thanks Boyer sisters for such a loving and God-inspired message. I don't have children of my own...yet. but, I do have teenage nieces and nephews. This is a topic I've wanted to address for some time. I think I'll start with sharing your video as a "jump start" to the conversation. God bless you and your parents...they did a great job!
I just came across your channel and loved your content. You girls are gorgeous! I am now in my 30's and about 8 years ago I started to see modesty in a whole new light, and stopped wearing pants and am very mindful of how tight or low my tops are. My desire is to dress in a way pleasing to my Heavenly Father and to not attract attention to myself from men and be a stumbling block to them. I was not raised that way, as I was not raised in a Christian home. I was born again when I was 18 years old and God has been teaching me and leading me over the years to live according to His Kingdom principles. I now have 4 girls of my own, still very young, but I am teaching them the principles that God has been teaching me and I dress them in skirts and dresses, no matter where we go. I hope and pray that this will become their own conviction in their hearts. It appears your parents did an excellent raising you girls. I would love any advice you would give me from what your parents did that really impact you in a powerful way in addition to praying for you. They definitely had your hearts, and that is most important. Most parents don't succeed at that most vital need. Blessings to you!
You are such an inspirational :) In my family I'm only the one converted to Christian because my family is a strong Catholic. So it may be awkward to them seeing me with the modest dress sometimes because they used to see me with shorts and pants. But now, seeing your video you made me inspired. Thank you for this. God bless you sisters!
As someone who was tall enough to shop in the women's section at age 9, I totally understand shopping for clothing and hating a lot of the mainstem clothing. I really hate pants. I don't like how they fit and feel, and skirt shopping is so hard right now. Long skirts are my favorite! I have started buying short skirts and wearing them with leggings... Totally changed how I view clothing. "Layering" is my new thing.
Thanks for sharing this video!
I,m glad to find people like you in modesty and saying prayers,we been accused of being squared by our relatives and you made our dayGod bless you
I wasn't raised with any modesty guidelines but I also didn't make good choices like you girls did. Thank the Lord that about a year ago when I turned 21 I started to really revup my relationship with god and modesty became more important to me. I see clothes and covering up so much clearer now. Not that my parents let me wear whatever I want. They defiantly told me when something was inappropriate and to change but at that age unfortunately I didn't see the importance. I appreciate you girls being an example to me and other young woman!
Your parents did the best thing...wow,I'm so glad
So far in life,I've come to understand that rules sometimes make people rebellious and prone to revolt...
But your parents prayed and it came naturally to you...
That's a great lesson
I was raised into it with so many rules and regulations to abide by and most times,it was difficult...but I'm better now
I am delighted to hear from you regarding modesty. I am old enough to remember modesty being acceptable. A girl's character was decided by her choice of clothing. None of my friends would have been seen in revealing or lewd outfits. A girls are so beautiful anyway and sweetness of manners and smiles attract the best kind of boys and men. Darling video!!!
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
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Hi Ladies! Thank you for posting. Your story was very interesting and inspiring. My experience with modesty has been quite legalistic. I heard things like, "past the middle finger" and "no holes in your jeans" and so on. Honestly, I fought my parents more from 13-17 yrs. because I was just so tired of "the rules" that the culture didn't seem to follow. I remember many times feeling discomfort in what I wore. Now as I am watching your video, I am so pleased by your decision to honor your parents in the way you dress. I am now 20 and paying for my own clothes with a desire to honor my parents while being able to "find my style".
Oh my gosh you ladies are so cute! I absolutely LOVE your style! God Bless!
You should make your own clothesline you girls have great style
Your outfits are super cute. The vintage look is really pretty, and A-line mid-length skirts are flattering on most body types. But, I gotta say I was confused. I totally started writing a lengthy comment about how I didn't even realize "Christian Modesty" was a thing that still existed and how shocking I found it, but after a quick search I realized it is and people actually take it seriously. It's interesting to see yet another different perspective within our vast American culture. I really shouldn't be shocked about these things. It's a big country and people are different all over, but sometimes I stumble on this kind of video and it's like watching the Discovery channel about some obscure tribe! Thanks for the info and insight into your particular system of belief.
This was a great video. I have enjoyed seeing you three develop in your styles, while still sticking to your standards. You two look gorgeous BTW! ;) Charlotte, I love your style! I was raised with some basic standards, but honestly a lot of freedom to search it out for myself. I have been all over the spectrum, and have recently swung back to a more "balanced" (less extreme) standard. I feel the tension of being more modest than some friends, and not as modest (I should say 'conservative') as others. I feel like that is exactly where it is good for me to be.
I grew up in a home where there were very strict rules about modesty. I wasn't even allowed to wear 'skinny' jeans! After I graduated, however, I wear what I want. I like the short-shorts and the crop tops. I like the short flowy dresses. My mother still disapproves, but she no longer tries to stop me from dressing like that. I think that we should all dress however we want to, and not judge others based on their clothing.
Do you have a link to where you are inspired for fashion?:) I love your vintage looks:O
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
I was raised with very strict rules about the clothes I had to wear and honestly I didn't take it to heart I rebelled against all of it. Now that I am out of my mothers house I have my own views about what I consider to be modest but it's like you said your heart has to be there. When I was living at my moms it wasn't there. She would not agree with what I call modest but this is where my heart is with God and my husband. I love vintage and would love to go to the WWII reenactment you girls go to. I enjoy reading your blog and watching your videos.
You remind me of people from the 1940s. I love it!!
The only time my dad said anything about the way. I dressed was when my skirt was too short. I agree with you about it being from your heart. I am now 48-year-old wife and mother. Kathy B.
you girls are so beautiful inside and out!! i was raised with modesty guidelines and there were times when i just wanted to wear what everyone else was wearing and blend in. But my parents were very loving and helped me choose items that i liked but were also modest. I continue to struggle but am starting to see the beauty in covering up because it looks more elegant and because not dressing modestly will often attract the wrong kind of attention.
Mmm. I'm pretty on the fence with this one. I mean, I feel like all of the accountability is on the female. Stop and think. 13. 13! Who sexualizes 13 year olds? Perverts, and boys with lax parents. I'm not saying that it's okay to go out of your way to be a distraction. I'm saying that by making modesty a standard based on males and what they perceive as temptation, we take away a woman's ability to think for herself. For example, I'm wearing a mini skirt and a tank top, however, I feel modest because I did not dress with the intent to attract a male. I simply like this outfit. I feel immodest in a bikini though, because I worry constantly about appearing sexy in one.
Am I making sense?
Heeey here's your letter Yes, you make sense. Just keep on wearing what you feel comfortable in.
Good point, I think however it's for the woman to know and grow habits to feel secure in herself. That's how I see it
No you are not making any sense .. why are you here .. your guilt/intuition is telling you that you should cover your body ... ?
I can totally see but men are naturally more lustful than women. You may not think its bad and its great you dont have the intention but their lust is conceived and they could be tempted by you and enticed. The bible says that someone could commit adultery or fornication (they are in same realm) in their hearts and by us women not being careful, we can cause them to do that even without us intending to.
great testimony. you girls where blessed with parents who taught character more than just rules.
I am 14 and haven't been given certain rules , now and again my dad will tell me or one of my sisters that a piece of clothing is inappropriate but most of us have already developed a personal style that happens to be quite modest so it doesn't happen much
love your outfits!!!
I got into the "modesty culture" on my own initiative as a young teen and quickly became very legalistic. In the summer before my junior year of high school, though, I began wearing jeans again and not measuring skirt lengths or necklines so meticulously. Since then, I've found that dressing like other girls my age has given me so much more confidence. Of course, I still have standards. But modesty is not about rejecting pants, or wearing frumpy skirts and cardigans, or taking a ruler to a neckline. It's about dressing in a way that says you are worth too much to display yourself to everyone you pass on the street.
I think it comes naturally when your mind is in a certain set point. I don't notice it until I see someone dressed like me. Sometimes it's surprising and it makes me aware of others may see me
Charlotte where did you get your outfit?
I applaud your parents! That takes so much spiritual maturity to give your children free will while trusting in the Lord. God bless your family
Sadly, it was often difficult to figure out what my parents expected of me and I can only fully claim that I was raised in a performance-focused manor by my mom and that my mom had a lot of opinions that she often inserted into whatever was a present scenario, but I can answer that something my mom emphasized in terms of how I dressed was that she always wanted to make sure my pants were never too exposing and that I had long shirts over them or something. I personally gravitated towards medium-sized skirts over leggings rather than long shirts over jeans, though, and I think I was the only one in my nuclear family who actually discussed modesty as I learned while surrounded by a lot of Christian influences. Sharing religious backgrounds, I’m a born again Christian who never chose a denomination, and my family has a lot of different ideas about God on both sides of the family but most family members claim to believe in God.
I also ALWAYS think about what my mum will say and think of my clothing before buying or sewing... ALWAYS... It wasn't by force... I honestly think it was by grace that I find myself this way.
And I'm almost 24!
thanks for sharing this video. It actually gave me an idea how to change my dress code being a beginner of this Christian life. may God bless you more.
I was kind of raised like you girls were, just...I was always a tomboy. I dreaded Sundays when I was expected to wear dresses.I hated those frilly socks, the color pink and my mom telling me to sit with my legs closed. I loved playing with the boys, Dragon Ball z and Transformers. I always hated skirts and growing up I donned the geek uniform, jeans and over-sized tees. It has only been lately that I've begun to love dressing more feminine and in a "vintage" style.
Omg same
I still think a mother should teach her daughters to dress modestly and explain why.
Well I think it is best to be flexible with your child instead. Let your child decide what is more comfortable to them
That is the most important. If not the mother then who else will teach? A mother can go lingerie shopping with her daughter and teach her about how to dress modestly while using the various kinds of lingerie. It’s not wrong for women to wear sexy lingerie because it makes her feel confident and helps her to embrace her femininity. The most important thing is to only have them worn beneath modest clothing. If the blouse or dress is low cut in the front, wear a camisole inside to prevent the show of cleavage. Wear dresses or skirts that are at least touching the knee and wear shorts under them. Keep bra straps covered under clothing. Sexy lingerie is for a woman to show only to her husband in the bedroom and no one else. And no man wants his wife to be exposing her body to others. The naked body and sexy lingerie is only for the enjoyment and pleasure of married couples.
I think it is great to be modest now that I learned about them from my new hubby. My parents never said anything but now that I am a Christian I love dressing modest. I actually want to design clothes that are modest too
I'm an atheist, why is this in my recommend feed and why am I watching this. Despite this, you're lovely ladies, have a nice day ^^
hope you get to know Jesus / Yeshua some day soon. Hugs :) have a nice day. :)
ROFLOL! the homeschool look! I was raised in a modest house with the only rules being knee length (shorts and skirts) and no clevage. but freedom to express, the most important thing was modest behavior and body language. now I do vintage, one of my sisters went hippy esque and another favors Mennonite cape dresses . :)
You two are so beautiful inside and out thanks for inspiring me even more love you two 💝😍 God bless you !
*The idea of "modesty" is an absolute joke. God created us to be fully naked with NO SHAME and it was only when we started playing our own game that we started viewing our bodies as disgraceful. 99% of clothing has nothing to do with trying to be provocative, it's just the person wearing what makes them comfortable. Clothing does not influence bad actions, bad character does.*
can I just say how much I love your guys style!!
Coompletely agree. It is in your heart.
I love your style of clothes girls! So glad to find your channel again. You girls are amazing singers.
I was looking for this video to show to someone as an example of wholesomeness
You ladies are amazing. I'm so glad I found your channel today! ❤️
Loved it! It all begins with your intentions and desiring to serve and honor God with every aspect of our lives.
Thank you, ladies! You are so lovely. May God continue to bless you!
Where have you two been? This is the modesty video I've been looking for.
What I try to instill in the girls I teach and even in my own daughter is that modesty is freedom. Dressing modest has given me more confidence and it has given me control over my life to an extent. I'm not a slave to every little imperfection of my body. I do teach my daughter practical applications of modesty, but always with the intent that her love for God shine through and for her to shun unholiness. Ultimately the spirit leads us, and if you are not in tune with Gods spirit all this talk of modesty makes little sense.
The apostle Paul says women should not wear mens clothing.
I know that some modern Christian women say that this no longer applies, but my church believes the Scripture always applies and that we should be seen as different from the world in order to be a testimony to Christ.
However we aren't as strict as people think- we don't wear floor length skirts to cover our ankles and we do wear short sleeved dresses etc. We are modest but not overly.
It's interesting to hear you girls were ok with wearing pants- how do you feel about the bible's views on this?
God did not install in us an innate sense to cover ourselves. Modesty has to be taught and modeled to children. Thank you for discussing this very important topic.
Wonderful video! I love Charlotte's outfit!!!
*The main problem with us as humans regarding physical modesty is that we view our bodies (nudity) as being inherently sexual. This is a false premise for the following reasons...*
*Bathing, changing clothes, childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping, going to a sauna, getting a massage (at a spa), nurturing the elderly, nurturing the handicap ♿, locker rooms (for athletes).*
*All of these things require (or can involve) nudity but have nothing to do with anything sexual. Why? Because nudity isn't inherently sexual, it's only looked at like that because we make it sexual. So we can't assume that someone showing skin (not necessarily completely nude) is sexualising themselves so we can't say that you can "cause someone to lust" by not dressing "modestly".*
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ yes!!! Someone finally speaks the truth!! 😁 love it!
Hello ladies. I really enjoyed your video! I’m a single parent and I know I have missed the mark with how I raised my 4 children. God bless your parents for the great job they did in raising you both. I love that they prayed you through your teens and you have so much respect for them! Continue to be a blessing!
Like a few people have said on here, not religious or raised being forced to dress modestly (except for my school uniform) but now finding the idea appealing as a way to look fashionable and keep men from harassing me. Since moving to a new city I have found I get cat called more ever then in my life. I really want to be left alone so I might give this a shot.
My parents always made me wear skirts my whole life u guys are so lucky your parents gave u the freedom to decide. Because iv come to hate skirts because its just a bunch of strict rules my parents make me do.
My parents never really told me how to dress. In fact there were 2 halloweens during high school where I wasn't dressed modestly in any way. One year I dressed as a vampire biker chick with jean mini skirt,halter top that revealed a little bit of stomach,and knee high boots.
their teeth are LITERALLY PERFECT
I'm Apostolic, and I've recently spent more time with God and learning about modesty. (I'm in bible college.) It isn't to please anyone. It isn't fully to just respect men- but since finding my boyfriend, I've been more conscious of that. It's really about learning to please the Lord and respecting His temple! Praise the Lord ❤️
You two are so adorable! I'm 52 with a 23 year old daughter and a 25 year old son. Both "kids" dress modestly. I am 5'2" with curves and I weigh too much due to poor choices and insulin resistance... So it's hard to LOOK modest even though I'm making the effort NOW. Oh, if I could turn the clock back and fix the past.... I just want to be God's woman in this season. I've been a born again believer for many years, but didn't get serious about following the Bible till I was 35. I did pretty well for a few years, but was unhappy in my marriage. I didn't commit physical adultery, but I was very attracted to another man (also married) that came into my life in 2011 (I was 41.) I was wearing long skirts and dresses when we MET... By 2013-2015, he was definitely all I thought about... We never kissed, but we talked and hugged a lot... Played guitar and sang at church together....Nevertheless, that CHURCH became poison to THAT marriage and to my whole self. I left several times from 2016 to 2018... I would always come back --- to these toxic relationships with others in this church. My self esteem crumbled. I had built my being there around serving there, around this man and another male friend. The older male friend left. Others I respected were dying. This man I was so attracted to found two other women to flirt with and hang out with (both of them married). I called them out publicly on social media and I got hit hard afterward! I had lied for this man years before....Now, no more cover up. I was tired of him and his lies. I quit trying to be anywhere near him in the fall of 2018. I also left that toxic church. I began to rebuild my relationships with others and my daughter, whom I had neglected to spend time at that church. I had to learn who I was again. My second husband and I divorced in 2016. We get along good now.
I met my current husband six months after I left that church. We've been married two years. We just observed three full years together yesterday.
God restores!
My husband is an alcoholic. He's made some good changes for God lately, praise Jesus!!! He wants to be a soldier of God.
Since HE is making changes, Holy Spirit is showing me that I can change, too.
I'm 4 weeks past my last hair coloring. I've got gray under this. I am seeing my NATURAL blonde hair now since I cut it to a short bob. I want to grow my natural hair out long.
I'm only wearing minimal make up now. No eye shadow or eye liner.
And I'm re-learning how to dress modestly, as I was prior to 2011.
The videos I've watched the past three weeks help inspire and motivate me.
Jesus is coming for His Bride. I want to be ready and presentable for Him!!❤️🙌
Beautifull message!!!!!!
l totally agreee your sincere word even though l am a guy. This video is good lesson for lady who don't know how to dress properly.It is good to encourage and inspire other by godly attitude . God bless you . lots of love from NAGALAND
There is no such thing as dressing, "properly." Women can dress the way they want to without be shamed or sexualized. If a woman decides to wear a crop top and shorts does that mean they are dressing improperly, no. Because a woman doesn't want to dress modest doesn't make them bad, improper, a sex object, etc.
I'm of the opinion that dressing modestly (for both genders) eliminates the pressure of fitting in and lets you become an individual again. And through that gives you the opportunity to improve other things
Innocent and naive is not the same thing.
More modest than most is still not the same thing as Biblical modesty.
Modesty actually is good for extremes of exposure.
Honor and obedience are not the same.
One should not wait till one's heart in what seems the best action.
Never will violating the letter of spiritual laws be sanctioned in favor of a hypocritical spirit of the law.
If you don't accept a claim of a commandment with spiritual authority, you can admit it.
Love the end message. Agree 💯