We didn't sleep for MONTHS...
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- 013 - In this episode, Emily and Jason Morrow dive into the world of sleep and the life-changing practice of bed sharing. Both hosts candidly share their struggles with sleepless nights and how embracing bed sharing transformed their lives. Discover the global traditions of bed sharing, its increasing acceptance, and the emerging studies supporting its benefits. Emily and Jason offer insights on the safest ways to bed share, emphasizing what to do and what to avoid to ensure a restful and secure night's sleep for both parents and children. Whether you're a seasoned bed sharer or curious about trying it, this episode is packed with valuable tips and personal anecdotes to help you navigate the journey to better sleep.
LINKS
Be sure to check out Emily's books!
Really Very Crunchy: A Beginner’s Guide to Removing Toxins from Your Life Without Adding Them to Your Personality
amzn.to/44ExSbS
Her children's book:
Little Helper, Big Imagination
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I was a crunchy mom in the 1980’s who breastfed and co slept with my babies. We didn’t get a lot of flack back then about it. I knew lots of other breastfeeding mamas who co slept and lots of crunchy moms too. With the advent of social media we’ve become so quick to judge one another, because our lives are on full display and peer pressure is everywhere. If co sleeping works for your family, then you do you.
The thing is that the Earth Mother moms of those days didn't make aggressive, high and mighty comments like "we parent through the night" or get on Next Door and try to coerce all their neighbors to change their behavior over and over and over.
Also, those granola & carob moms did it more out of a beautiful, cool-headed philosophy instead of this generation, who tends to do it based on anxiety issues. They let their anxiety run theirs and their families' lives, try to normalize it, and pass it onto their kids, instead of getting therapy and counseling to help with their constant phobias of every remote risk all around them all the time.
@@leslifullerton-pacis2180try not to take it so personally. Parenting though the nights make's sense as a phrase to those who don't know what it's like to be a parent.
@Cheyscrochetshop No, it's a direct attack on Moms who don't co-sleep, implying that they are not parenting at night.
That's awesome ❤ have you ever read We Want To Live By Aajonus Vonderplanitz 📚
Baby sleep does seem to be so complex. I always thought I’d co-sleep, but I had a preemie who was in the NICU for six weeks. Once he came home, Co-sleeping meant none of us slept. I was overly responsive to every sound he made. We don’t have a big enough bedroom for a bigger bed. After a few weeks, one day I tried putting him down for a nap in his crib, and it was magic. After that, we were changed. He was a perfect sleeper until he was two, then the night terrors started, and we co-slept then. I could never leave him alone to cry.
Everyone is different ❤ have you ever read We Want To Live By Aajonus Vonderplanitz 📚
I liked what my pediatrician said about sleeping. He just wanted to make sure I was getting enough rest since I was breastfeeding, and said you know, “ideally the aim is to get them managing sleep on their own before they leave the home.”
Really lightened the mood and took the pressure off. Which is all we need. A little bit of validation in doing what we feel is best and perspective that one day they’ll be growing out of all these little rough sleep phases.
I can hear the worry in Emily’s voice. Which is so heartbreaking but completely understandable. It feels more and more impossible to have normal conversations anymore. People are so quick to angrily judge and cram their opinions down your throat while belittling you. Society has lost a lot of its compassion towards others.
Every baby, every person, every situation is different and we just have to do what works for us regardless of what anyone else thinks. As long as we aren’t purposely causing harm.
From what you share with us, I say your boys are so very blessed to have you two as their parents. I know if I had a say in the matter I would absolutely chose to be your child.
@@Sassfire "We parent through the night" isn't judgemental or belittling?!
@leslifullerton-pacis2180, didn't she say other people say that??
@@leslifullerton-pacis2180 I think replying to someone’s comments about how you should let your child cry it out with the statement “We parent through the night” is a polite response to criticism. That’s just stating that we don’t feel comfortable ignoring our child’s nighttime needs, fears, anxieties etc.
Would it be better to stand there with an open mouthed blank stare when someone criticizes you on how you parent or how your homes sleeping arrangements are being met? I feel like a polite response is the best way to go in most situations, but that’s how I feel. How you or anyone else responds is the best response in those circumstances, according to how you feel.
One day when i was pregnant someone said, "mommy is the best pacifier". And that made so much sense to me. So I was, and it was perfect.
I don't know how many bottles I made, I'm a dad and the kids falling asleep on my chest felt amazing. I was about to throw out my old recliner and was met with staunch opposition by my teens. 😂 I guess it'll sit around until they decide to leave home. It made me so happy that they have such fond memories of being rocked to sleep.
My kids’ pediatrician (highly decorated, president of the pediatric association in our state, and was my pediatrician from infancy), told me in an “under-the-table” way: “You know, when I do my medical missions in Africa, the babies all sleep at the mothers’ breast and everyone gets much more sleep than they do here in the states”. I took that as my green light. If a mother isn’t obese, smoking, drinking, on meds or drugs, and is mentally stable, she is capable of co sleeping safely.
"God didn't make monsters." ❤ I'm gonna have to keep that one in my back pocket
Just don't spend too much time in Genesis 6. But to be fair, God didn't create them, the angels who couldn't mind their own business with human women did 😅
My little one didn’t sleep through the night until she was two years old. We didn’t want her to cry it out. And she didn’t start sleeping “well” until she was three. She’s three and a half now and I just slept beside her last night because she needed her back rubbed during the night. Who better for her to need than her mom??? My mom is so encouraging and keeps saying, one day this will pass and she’ll sleep. I’m not up for the mom shaming. Thank you for this episode.
This was so relatable. The same happened with my first. I didnt choose bedsharing (at first) bedsharing chose me...after my first wouldn't sleep anywhere except on my chest and i was so sleep deprived trying to use the bassinet the first 2 weeks that i was slurring and stuttering my words in the day time. After that i just brought my next 2 straight into the bed from the beginning. Now i view bedsharing as the easy route for me bc i couldnt imagine getting out of the bed every 30min-1hr all night long.
I really loved this episode! My son is six and we are room sharing at the moment. When he was born I just did what gave us the most sleep. Which for us was to have a co sleeper right next to our bed and nurse him whenever, but then put him back in his little co sleeping nook. It was tough because I just wanted to bed share, but I had an over supply issue and had to wake up before him to pump or self express milk before I nursed him so that he could get to the hind milk. I am so glad my husband and I just prayed and did what was right for our family. By 3 months he was sleeping through the night until we transitioned him to a crib which was tough because it was so big he was waking up all the time! We figured it out when we moved to a place that had a bigger room where the crib could be right against our bed. I still have memories of him falling asleep holding my hand through the crib, talking himself to sleep and waking up climbing in our bed with a big smile on his face
So looking forward to hearing your perspective and experience! We have three (now all teenagers) and have some friends who cosleep and others who don't.. When our oldest was a baby, we tried bringing him into bed with us - I wasn't planning/wanting to cosleep (but not totally opposed) but with babies, it's all about survival! - and he wouldn't sleep. It was playtime for him. Even when he was super tired, he wouldn't sleep. It got to the point when he was 10 months old that he was waking up every 20 minutes. He couldn't be nursed, rocked, soothed at all. Even holding him and walking around, he wouldn't fall back to sleep. Or he would for 5 minutes until we dared tried to sit down and then woke up again, exhausted. I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child", too. We were zombies and it wasn't safe for us to drive with how sleep deprived we were - worse than newborn stage. So I let him cry it out (he was changed, fed, etc.). He cried for about an hour, then fell asleep for 10 hours. Next night, he fussed for about 10 minutes, then slept 11 hours. That was it. From that point on, we could lay him in his bed and he would babble, then fall asleep within 15 minutes, sometimes waking up, babbling, then falling back to sleep, sometimes sleeping through the night until 5/6am. Our other kids were fine just being laid in their cribs. I know CIO is controversial and not for every kid/family, but for us, it was a last resort and thankfully worked for our kid.
I know every family/kid is different and you know what will work for your baby! So long as everyone is healthy, it doesn't matter if they cosleep or not.
Edited to add: It's what I tell every new parent as my only advice: you know your baby best. You trust your gut and do what's best for your kid.
Just finished and I was just laughing! You guys are too funny. Hot take: I'll wager that CIO was a thing back in the day because Ma and Pa were busy with chores and had to get the cows back in the barn so once baby was fed and changed, they popped him into a drawer (a la Baby Carrie on Little House on the Prairie) and finished everything up. Sigh...no parenting books back then/instagram parties to deal with but then there was dysentery, so...
Man oh man - there's always some parenting thing to deal with as kids grow. But then you see them learn all sorts of things and it's amazing.
I want the patreon version! 😂👌🏼 great stuff guys. Don’t be afraid to be yourselves. People know what they are listening to. ;)
I was warned off Babywise by my first midwife. When my firstborn was about 6 mo old, I learned about sleep training, the Ferber method,
from a friend, when I told her sleep deprivation with my baby waking and nursing for 45 minutes every 2 hours all night was about to ruin me (I don't know how moms nurse and sleep at the same time!) Now we have 4 kids, another on the way, and have sleep trained them all using principles from the Ferber approach. MUCH, MUCH more gentle than what you describe here, my goodness.
I think sometimes it's worth investigating why a baby is nursing that frequently and maybe solving that issue would solve the other sleep issues. My youngest could have used a lip and tongue tie release which I only learned recently and now I understand why I was nursing CONSTANTLY to get her fed. If she had a better latch and was able to get more in each feeding she may have slept longer and better. There's just so much nuance to every situation - it's hard to even know.
I think almost every sleep method is valid. Everyone has a different situation. I had irish triplets (twin daughters and a son shortly after) My husband worked two jobs when my babies were babies. There was no way I could have the three of them in bed with me when my husbands coming off of a 16 hour shift. I remember vividly having bruises on my chest from leaning over the crib to try and soothe my babies to sleep. Eventually they got so used to one sibling crying that they didn't even notice. All three of them sleep amazing now and when one gets up at night I go to them instead of them sleeping in bed with us. Long story short. If it works for your family then go for it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤
Watched this while resting in bed sts with my 24 hour old second born! Loved this conversation and found it so relatable as I remembered trying to sleep train my first just because that’s what everyone did, and it just never felt right for me. So thankful for this second opportunity to confidently and safely bedshare from night one-sooo much less stress!
This sounds like my story ... I just broke down one night, screaming at my husband that I couldn't do this anymore, its just so much easier when the baby sleeps on my chest... from that day forward he didn't make anymore comments about my choice to cosleep. I remember telling him if he didnt want us to cosleep then is he going to be willing to get up every other hour to feed the baby, change him, then settle him back down in the crib only to have him wake up an hour later!! Cosleeping just made so much more sense, especially with breastfeeding. With the next, I'm not even going to consider anything else.
Perspective dad here, I loved the show. My wife and I discuss topics like this all the time. It’s refreshing to hear someone talk about the way they do things and why.
I love you guys! Great content! I had 5 children. Breast fed all of them and did all of the things! Sleeping with them…pacifiers….thumb sucking…all of it. My thumb sucker did have issues with her jaw..so the rest got pacifiers. They are a pain to wean off of. It’s all a pain…it really does come down to each individual child. I now have 3 grandchildren and my crunchy daughter is still struggling. She is just trying to figure out her third daughter and what works! There is no one rule for what is right! They are all different and we have to figure it out…and not judge!! This too shall pass….lol! Uhg potty tracing is the worst!
THANK YOU for making me feel normal. I had terrible ppd and anxiety after giving birth. We had moved into a new house with a second floor and I couldn’t sleep upstairs. I was afraid of a fire or if someone tried to break in to my home that I wouldn’t hear them. Initially I tried sleeping downstairs in a recliner with my baby in a bassinet next to me, but I was so scared that she’d stop breathing that I would stay awake watching her all night. After a traumatic delivery spending 4 days in the hospital, and several days of literally no sleep at all, I realized that the only way I could rest was if she was lying on my chest. We breastfed for an extended amount of time and still cosleep to this day and she’s 5 now. I didn’t share it with anyone because of the shame associated with cosleeping, but it was the best choice for us. It’s not typical in our society, but I think separation from your baby is unnatural for both mother and baby.
Yet, on the other hand, my sister sleep trained and bottle fed her child and bought one of those fancy bassinet things you were talking about…I had no idea how expensive they were!
Babies aren't meant to sleep through night until like 8-12 weeks, and "sleep through the night" is really 5-6hrs at a stretch. We never used CIO, we bed shared sometimes, and our first 2 slept wonderfully. By 12 months they were sleeping 12hrs a night and taking a 4hr nap. First baby slept in a crib night one since we didn't have a bassinet and they never wanted to co-sleep much, was obviously more comfortable in their crib (was later diagnosed ASD). Second baby glued himself to me during the day, slept in a bassinet in the living room because he made so much noise in his sleep it kept us awake all night, then eventually just stayed in our bed. Our third came out not understanding the concept of sleep, but we bed shared with him and still do on occasion as it's what he needs. Oh, and we never read a single parenting book other than What To Expect, we just follow our gut instincts.
Our babies need us on such a deep level in order to grow healthy, ignoring one their fundamental needs is cruel in my opinion and experience. Was it floofin' hard when they were babies, so hard I was crying and desperate for it all to end while little mouths sucked the life out of me? Yes, 1000% yes. But, one day they stopped being babies, and toddlers, and little kids, and now I've got a couple of teens and a big kid.
When my first was born, the second day in the hospital we were trying to sleep and the bassinet was near my husband, his job was to get up and bring me the baby. Well our baby is crying and crying and I ask my husband why he doesn’t bring me the baby. He says he’s sleep training. I told him that’s not what you do on day 2!!!!! We did end up sleep training much later on, crying didn’t last long and both my toddlers are good sleepers now. I tried cosleeping once when we were traveling and my husband almost rolled over on him, I didn’t sleep that whole night since I was worried watching him.
what an interesting podcast!! kinda wild to me that bed sharing(first time i've ever heard of this term) is somewhat controversial over there. living in an asian country, bed sharing is like the norm and i grew up sleeping in my parents' bed!
I’ve got 6 girls. I HAD to sleep train #4. She was cut from a different cloth! Once I was able to sleep, we were BOTH happier! The rest I’ve co-slept. I love what you said about EVERYONE being different. As soon as we start being dogmatic, the Lord is about to humble us. 😂
The best cure for ear infections is 50/50 acc and water in a dropper. Place five drops in an ear, rub around the outside to help it work it’s way into the ear canal, then drain by laying baby’s head on your shoulder on a towel. Repeat multiple times a day for a full week after they stop expressing discomfort from their ears.
My oldest had several rounds of antibiotics (one of the inciting incidents which led me to become “crunchy”) and the infections would return MONTHLY. One time an ent (not ours) suggested we try that, so I didn’t fill that prescription, went home, did the procedure. None of my kids have EVER had to take antibiotics for ear infections again.
DISCLAIMER:: I am not a doctor.
ACV
Just to be careful I had a gnarly ear infection as an adult that got impacted by home remedies and did need intervention from an ENT. Holistic is worth a shot but if the infection is lingering, it can still be helpful to go see a doctor. I had a fungal infection though and needed a topical with steroids.
Ugh, that’s awful. I think sometimes the issues with home remedies is that people don’t follow through. They stop as soon as symptoms are no longer present. I was really grateful to find this method for ear infections cause, like I said, the antibiotics were not helping anymore, the infection just kept coming back. It’s been over a year since the last time one of my kids had one so I’m so glad. I also use the same thing for tonsil infections, which I am prone to (especially when traveling).
Thank you for doing this episode. I agree, it was hard, and it went against everything I was told, but in the end it was necessary for us and good for my child and our breastfeeding relationship. My son is almost now 7. He's extremely independent and outgoing. But he was a Velcro baby 100% and I was not going to deny him his mother.
5 breast fed children, took every one to bed with me at 1st feeding until they were able to sleep on their own.
Had no problem and we all slept well. Yes, took a heck of a lot of flack for it but it worked out just fine.
This episode was so needed for me...
9m pp and have had all the mom guilt that I'm doing something wrong with my lil girl... she has not learned how to settle on her own, wakes up several times during the night, won't take a pacifier, and anytime she cries, I come to her basically immediately... I barely attempted the "cry it out" method and it hurt me physically 😪 I could not let her go on like that, and like Emily, it's my nature to come when my child is crying.
So I bring her to bed when she can't settle and let her nurse on demand (because it's the only thing that calms her). There have been so many hard nights where I just want to sleep and miss only sharing my bed with my hubby, but he has been so gracious and understanding with everything. I know it's just a season, and one day she will be all grown up and not need me as much, and so I just hold onto this time while I have it. ❤
Thank you for being open, honest, and taking the time to make this podcast. I may never get to meet you, but I really appreciate you both!
You're doing great!! Your mom instinct is there for a reason: don't ignore it! I co-slept with all of my babies. I still have a 3 year old who gets up and comes to lay across the foot of our bed every night and a nursing 18 month old who doesn't even have her own bed 😅
My oldest sleeps great through the night because she knows that we will respond if she needs anything. Its not forever! Eventually they WILL sleep on their own. And the lack of attachment disorders when they're older...so worth it❤
I think we would be best friends if you lived close by! This is my favorite podcast. I’m always laughing out the loud the whole time trying not to wake my bed sharing baby 😆
I love y'all's podcasts. I parented my babies differently, but I understand both modes of thought. I didn’t have to co sleep, but I Never chose the old school cry it out either. I would prevent them from napping at certain times and encourage them to nurse at certain intervals to aid in a 10pm-4am sleep.
Also past 2 weeks of age I wouldn't let them just fall asleep nursing. I would intentionally stir them awake as i lay them down so thatthey learned to find comfort in being patted on the back (tummy sleepers) and left to rest alone. I was also quick to return whem they woke up.
Please make an episode about about how to find your tribe. I live in a very rural area where most people see absolutely nothing wrong with their bojangles chicken and their mountain dew. We've considered moving a few hours away where their are more "crunchy" people but in those places the the "crunchy" people tend to be very "woke" also...and that's not us. I don't feel like we fit anywhere and I'm ok with being alone but it would be nice to have some like minded friends who understand our values that we could hang out with sometimes.
I am loving these episodes, nice connectivity and flow. But oh God why is that jar so close to the edge. Like it is visible whenever Emily is on screen.
P.S. I am so sad I can't come for the book signing as I am from the other side of the world and is already past Wednesday.
😂I noticed the same thing! Had me hanging on the edge of my seat
I was young when I had my first and was basically on my own so I just did whatever felt right. I coslept with all my kids because it felt wrong for them to be away from me or to let them cry. My babies hardly ever cried because I responded to them right away and they slept really well knowing I was right there. ❤ ❤
Yay! I so enjoy listening while I work!
I totally agree that every family is different and every child is different. I nursed twin boys 22 years ago we tried cosleeping and the only people sleeping with the babies. So then we tried bassinets by the bed, again the only people sleeping with the babies. So I began to try to settle them down in their room together in the same crib and that seem to be the only way anybody got any sleep besides them. If somebody else slept successfully with their twin boys, I applaud them. I don’t have anything against that. But I know that my husband had to work and I had to figure out how everybody could get as much sleep as possible and that’s what worked for us, the babies in a separate room.
Love James Mckenna and loved knowing the Safe Sleep Seven so that we could do what felt most natural for us from day 1 with our little guy ❤
Usually breastfed babies don’t want a pacifier, so if you don’t need one, don’t use it.
Co-sleeping is common in about 80% of the world, mainly in the east. We did this and it was a wonderful experience.
I bed share. We sleep on a floor bed for safety, though sometimes my older children climb into our big bed because it’s a new/expensive extra firm mattress (they can feel that it’s expensive). A few nights I’m left alone sleeping in the kids room while the two older ones sleep with their dad in the king bed, the littlest one in her crib because she was the first and only formula-fed and self soothes amazingly. The boys always need cuddles…one has autism, the other has always had trouble sleeping, from 15-30 minutes of sleep at a time for the first six months and then slowly gaining ground to now waking up with night terrors every other night.
Anyway, I’ve had three completely different kinds of kids, all different kinds of sleep or lack of sleep. One sleeps by himself at nap time, no snuggles required, but is awake for three hours every night and can’t go to bed without me. One has night terrors every now and then. The last is so peaceful it’s hard to even know if she’s in distress/sick and I have the most fear of her getting SIDs than any other.
My journey to co-sleeping was nearly identical to your own. Thank you for discussing a very important topic for new parents.
You guys are the best
Thank you for this informative and insightful video. Though I do not have any children currently, I found all of your discussion to be very engaging and interesting and will consider co-sleeping if I ever have children of my own. It truly is so real that there is no "one size fits all" for parenting, and sleep is no exception. Your children are lucky to have parents who will take so much care and time into determining what is best for the entire family and making the babies feel seen and heard. My heart goes out to you in your son's anxiety of getting sick. From my experience with that, I would say that listening to his worries and comforting him would be the best way to handle it. These anxieties are very real, and as someone who has had experience with that kind of fear, even if it is irrational, the best thing to do is to listen and understand. Make sure that your child knows that he is seen and heard and that you have measures in place to care for and protect him. Independence is great, but you don't want your child to take it into their own hands to protect themselves, often through ritualistic actions or excessive hand-washing, which sometimes is linked to OCD. Let me cover this with the fact that I believe you all are great parents, but sometimes fear, especially irrational fear, is handled wrongly and it can hurt little minds and hearts at times. I know you are wonderful parents and will parent your children into beautiful adults. God bless you both!
Loved this episode, very down to Earth about sleep training. Our first was fairly easy, but our second was a whole other story. I wanted to co-sleep so badly, he was so attached to me and his grandmother. He took all his naps in our arms, and I would soothe with breastfeeding. His bassy was attached to our bedside, but when it came time to move him to the crib it was such a hard transition. On me and the baby, but my husband was adamant about letting him cry it out. Letting him sleep with us wouldn’t have worked either, because my husband is very bad about rolling about while in a dead sleep (he’s a great dad, just a deep sleeper, and he was just following the Dr’s advice) but it hurt something inside me to let him cry it out 😢
Our 4 year old went through being afraid of animals too. He was terrified of coyotes. He made up a really cute story about a super coyote on our drive to visit family in Canada last month. When we got home we had a small stuffed toy coyote waiting for him. We told him that super coyote followed him home. He is no longer afraid of coyotes and has slept with it every night since.
you guys are my absolute favorite!
Hate when people who know I don’t sleep train ask me if my 9mo baby is sleeping through the night and when I say “no” they then ask me why not and then I have to say “I don’t sleep train” and then they act like I personally offended them and insulted their decision to sleep train. I’m not judging you just because I made a different choice! If you feel insecure about the choices you are making then reevaluate!
I had never heard of crying it out method when I started having my children about 20 years ago, but I know I would of have listened to that advice either. My babies never had to cry much. My instincts were very strong when they were babies, so most of the time I knew what they needed just about the time they started to cry. Thank God. I ignored a lot of advice, like being told I should stop breastfeeding by 6 mo, I should give my children foods too soon, and sugary treats and such. I never let anyone watch them even for an hour until they were at least 4…. Old enough to tell me of anything that may not be right. I still get a lot of flack for being overprotective but God entrusted me with these precious miracles so I’m going to oversee their lives until they’re out on their own.
I co slept for most of the first year or so then they went in their own rooms, but I laid with them, we talked , sang, prayed etc for a bit and then I’d get up and go to my bed once they fell asleep. My husband was not very present in any way, so I pretty much did everything one my own….eventually divorced him and have raised them on my own ever since. He is still not very present in their lives (& unfortunately it has effected them despite doing my best). He has always been one to do things just enough so you cannot say he doesn’t do anything. I didn’t want this for my children, as I didn’t have parents growing up, I bounced around foster care. Makes me sad. I thought I married a good Christian family man, but he wasn’t. 😢 Fortunately, now they have a really wonderful step dad, now that they’re nearly grown. Praise Yah!
When I had my first in 2015, I found that co-sleeping was a lifesaver. I loved it. We did make a decision to get a King-sized bed when he was about seven months old, though. 😂
CIO with the first 3 and bedshared with 4 and 5. I can honestly say, somewhere in the middle needs to be the goal. The CIO kids are well rounded, independent and amazing teens. But it broke MY heart to go through that so we went through crunchy route for the last 2 kids and they still at almost 7 and 4 don’t STTN and it takes well over an hour to get out of their room at bedtime. It’s created tension in our marriage, frustration for the other kids in the house and leaves me absolutely wiped and dreading bedtime nightly. We can’t use babysitters because of the shear panic the older one has if I am physically not present. I just had surgery 3 days ago and I can’t hear her just destroying my husband. We’re not meeting her needs anymore, she’s in full on crisis mode and no gentleness is cutting it.
I coslept with my son until he was about 4 months old. Then when I went back to work we transitioned to the pack and play next to our bed. At about 10 months we moved him into his own room and sleep trained. Thankfully he was a great sleeper and wasn’t a traumatic experience lol I think it just depends on the child/parent.
Premie was nursed every 2_3 hr for 8 months still on apnea monitor. Co sleep kept me alive during that time, also had a cat who whacked him on the back if alarmed, does that count as co-parenting? Adopted baby had NICU stay,eczema at 3 wks and every daycare bug going into asthma. Cosleeping started because of neb treatments,then to quell night wandering. As working ob/nursery nurse/mom needed to do it all simultaneously and with bibliography. Good thing is gets easier when they hit 30 and you can say you are done. Of course some get sucked into grandparent trap, heaven help them
Hilarious podcast, totally loved it! Continue to be yourself we love you !
I bet we all could talk about this for hours! However, I would not want to carve 50 best minutes from 4 hours of material. :)
I was asking myself why so many people (from specific different parts of the world) talk negatively about parents sleeping with their small kids. I wonder whether "having a nanny and your own room = not sleeping with your kids = being wealthy" has anything to do with it historically and culturally.
31:00 I am aware this is mostly because of financial reasons but my father in law’s family all slept in one big room in their ranch home. Also their parents had 12 kids so I can’t imagine each having their own room. But this part reminded me of that.
Please make a podcast about raising kids without gadgets. I really try to cut my son’s screen time, but I do not know how, because I really cannot ( and do not want to) entertain him all the time. I want to rest too (plus I have a 1 year old daughter and I need to put her to sleep twice a day, for example).
Let your kid be bored!
Boredom is good! It’s necessary! Kids should not be entertained every moment they are awake.
Boredom forces creativity, imagination, and self regulation.
@@hannahbenson6255 well, that is true. But my kid would nag me repeatedly and I would not get any rest then)
When my girls were babies (and older) we coslept and when I’d start second guessing myself I’d stop and imagine we lived alone on an island with no outside judgment and I’d just do what felt right. It’s a shame society conditions parents to go against their natural inclinations. Beyond that, it seemed weird that my husband and I slept together and I was supposed to have my baby sleep alone down the hall?!
Emily, you are so pretty. That color looks really nice on you.
You know what I love, in my family we’ve always been very comfortable with co sleeping. My 8yr old brother still sleeps with my parents he’s probably been the longest to stay with them like that. But even now when I go over to my parents house, I’m 26, everyone’s sleeping spot can change. My mom can sleep with me and my 8mo old baby, or not. Also my 14yr old brother could sleep with me or with our dad and 8yr old. Or it could just be me and my baby and everyone can sleep in their own beds. I’m thankful for my family co sleeping, sleeping wherever whenever because I do think it emphasizes love through us. And that’s also how I plan to raise my family.
My son was a preemie so he could not breastfeed, but he did drink my breast milk. He LOVED his pacifiers. They did not delay anything for him. He has always been very advanced. The NICU gave him a pacifier right after birth so I didn’t have much say in it. But no it didn’t delay him in any way at all or mess up his teeth and he used it until he was 2.5.
@PurelUOArtificial I spent 8 days in hospital after my daughter was born. Complications caused me to have surgery. There were signs everywhere, on the maternity unit, telling us that pacifiers were forbidden. After just days, the staff gave my baby a pacifier. It settled her. For 6 months she used them. One night she refused one and never had one again. I don't listen to people who decide that all babies should do a,b,or c. I've never heard of a child who died from pacifier usage.
I couldn't breast feed as my supply dried up after the surgery, but my baby thrived.
just wanted to say i am a huge fan now that ive heard your podcast because it really shows that you guys arent as crazy as i had thought from the shorts lol… im not married and dont have kids but i watched my sisters baby from 2 months to 18 ish months and my it was something… my sister was in recidency becoming a pediatrician (woohoo…..😬) and breastfed almost completely of course except when she had to work … anyway very very hard to take care of a breastfed baby when you arent the mama, i ended up using cry it out because thats what they told me to do and its not my baby so, whatevs i guess, she responded really well to it actually so i guess in the end every baby/situation is different, nice to hear of the options i have when i enter motherhood someday. thanks for the lovely podcast!!! never stop making them its my favorite 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
My 2nd out of my 3 children was my best sleeper and the only that used a pacifier. Unfortunately, he became a habitual thumb sucker until he got braces at 12 (he just had them removed at 15). My mom told me to let my firstborn cry it out and I hated every moment of it. I had bassinets next to my bed for all three, nursing in bed for all of them, and then putting them back in their beds. We shared a room with our first until he was 18 months old and he hated sleeping in his own room until we put our second baby in the room with him when the first was about two and a half years old. They have shared a room since. We have a 2 bedroom apartment as a family of 5. It is so weird to people who learn this since society does teach every kid gets their own room. My great-grandparents raised their 8 kids in a 3 bedroom home, the oldest kids slept on the dining room floor and did what they could. My mom and her two sisters shared a bed for years (and I think there were two beds for her three brothers as the oldest boy was spoiled and catered to). Anyway, there is nothing wrong with kids sharing beds or rooms. :)
I've found my people!
Unfortunately we live in different countries and my family is well over your two-kid hosting limit 😏 but I'll just keep pretending we're friends in my head.
Another great episode! I love your content. And even though I don’t agree with you on all topics I still enjoy it and will keep coming back. No offense here.
Nice. I understand you have an audience to manage and this is easy for me to say, but I think you should worry less about upsetting people. Be yourself and let them shake their first and cry.
I also agree that the crying out method is a little bit barbaric. Especially hearing how a mother can just listen to her baby cry until it vomits and do nothing.... That is just unbelievable to me and it breaks my heart. We co-sleep with our little boy, and yes he wakes up because he's hungry, but he's 6 months old. He goes right to sleep right after and, he sleeps for almost 12 hours with just a little bit of waking up for food. I don't know I feel like we got it pretty good compared to other people. I couldn't imagine him crying it out, when I know he's hungry.
Loved this episode! I cosleep with my kids, it was never a thought otherwise tbh. I thought it was normal 😅 but realizing from this episode it’s really not in America was kinda funny! My brother, sister and I coslept with our parents all the time even as teenagers. If not in the same bed surely in the same room. It lessened as we got older of course but it was always a huge sense of security. I gotta apologize to my husband since he always had his own room and I told him how abnormal that was 😂 I guess it’s me that’s the odd one out! But luckily he sees the benefits of cosleeping. I also think it heals his inner child.
Three kids, one sucked a thumb, one took a pacifier, and one did neither. Thumb sucker was first born and stopped right before a year because she got sick and could not breathe out her nose so couldn’t continue to thumb suck. She was always advanced even from baby milestones. Second born didn’t care about either and was delayed in speech so much so I started her late in school. Third born had a pacifier and he loved them so much so that he would hold a nipple of one in each hand and have one in his mouth while sleeping. He was the talking clearly long before 14 months. The pacifiers were for sleeping only. We said goodby to pacifier by 13 months after a road trip to Florida. Literally, every baby/kid is different.
Neither of my boys took a paci either, Emily. Like someone said breastfed babies tend to not want them. I coslept starting in the hospital with my second he was so small I didn't want to lay him down and he get cold and I was so used to holding my kiddo from his big brother.
A little late from the meet and greet thing 🤣
Haha! Sorry!
Parents get a lot of crap for co-sleeping but as someone who was occasionally co-slept with, that shit was the best part of my childhood. The person who co-slept with me though did not want to be there, I remember that. I was a little menace forcing them hehehe
This was a fun listen!! haha you guys are great. 😊
I was co-slept with until I was about 11 or so, I really recommend it to whoever is able.
I just had an allergy test, and it turns out I’m deathly allergic to oats. Not anaphylactic, but just below that. I want to know what Emily / crunchy people would do in this situation?? I’m getting allergy shots
13:39 I was always a rule breaker... first kid the nurses yelled at me for falling asleep with the baby (totally understandable), and I did NOT understand by the time we got home, how to get our baby asleep in her crib. Did not happen at all until she was like 15 months for nap only.
Number 2-4 were all intentionally coslept
18:19 also could not do that. 1000% nope
Okay, so I have 3 kids ages 16,14, and 4. I used a pacifier with my first and my other two hated them. My first only used soothies, and he was weaned at 2. We had a going away party for them and he threw them in the trash. He cried for like one nap, then he was fine. My second on the other hand hated pacifiers, but sucked his two fingers on his right hand until he was like 7. It was so much harder because ya know, his fingers were attached. He has high anxiety and ADHD so it was so hard to get him to stop. I painted his nails with clear polish and told him it was poisonous. Which it probably is, it was from the dollar store 😂 I finally got him to stop. Both of my teens have beautiful teeth and bites. My four year old wouldn't take a pacifier either. She, like the other two, was breast fed...but she's a co sleeper. She found way more comfort being next to us. Now what we're doing is letting her fall asleep in our room, then we carry her to her own room. She was scared at first, then we'd let her get back in bed with us for comfort. It's been almost 3 months, and she'll sleep through the night. She's not waking up in a panic either. As long as you stay consistent but also roll with the punches, things will work out.
Usually, the more a child feels safe when he is young, the more confident he will be when he grows up.
Sleep training like cry it out, pick up-put down or any other method is a result of the modern world where women go to work in the morning and want to sleep and way for "professionals" to make money.
A child needs his mother.
Sleeping in a different room or even far from her in the same room that he doesn't see her, is not natural.
Your mega-bed puts ours to shame! We just had a queen and twin pushed together after our second was born.
Me listening to this podcast twice because I was too impatient to wait for the video version on UA-cam to come out😂
I read your entire comment in Cookie Monster's voice, as it began with, 'me'. 🤷♀️😆
@@oddlycreatetiff8920 that’s so funny I actually laughed out loud now I can stop reading that way 😅😅
@mariemclawhorn518 glad I'm not alone 😂
We coslept with both our children.
Our first child was born when i was 17 and we had NO IDEA what to do!
He was bottle fed.
Our second child was born when i was 23 and he was breastfeed.
I can can confidentiality say that they are 24 and 18 now and not still in our bed!! 😂
How and when did you guys allow your children to spend the night with grandparents? Did they bedshare with the grandparents?
My daughter is 2 and a half she still wakes up to comfort nurse 2-3 times a night. Anyone else relate? I’m curious!
Two hour podcast pls
Oh hey I'm early!! Love from Malaysia 😁
yayyyy i can't believe i came across this vid 1min after it was posted
Not sure why my username comes up instead of my actual name...I guess that's what I get for creating my youtube account when I was 17.
My kids are now 8 and 12. I don't remember exactly when they stopped co-sleeping regularly. Sometimes they end up in our bed. The 8 year old doesn't affect us too much, but the 12 year old being in our bed makes sleeping kind of awful.
Ily jason
Dang I missed you!
My kids acted like I had cheated them out of their inheritance when I gave them pacifiers. No binkies; only boobies. Never seen such betrayal in an infant’s face.
No no no on pacifiers. I raised 5 kids without ever using them or baby food. It can be done.
I still would nap with my mom when I was as 18. 😂
I enjoyed hearing y'alls perspective on the journey of littles sleeping. I find it interesting to hear y'all started off trying to follow the modern parenting advice of the time and found your path.
I recommend looking into the history of such parenting advice as it has quite tragic roots (unsurprisingly not at all rooted in children's well-being) long story short it got its start in early post-slavery society when rich people who had lost the communal knowledge of child-rearing simply couldn't cope without forced labor inside of the newly emerged nuclear family. So they came up with very harsh strategies.
We co sleep.
We co slept with our twins in separate rooms great for them ended our marriage we never slept in the same room or bed again? I live with one child in my home she lives with a child in her home! Yea worked out great!
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First comment!
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I hate how we have to “blanket statement” things and give all these nuances and walk on egg shells. Like do what works best for you, yes I’m sorry there are some things that are generally better than others but don’t feel horrible if you can’t choose the best option. I’m mean is it what it is. Everyone should be able to talk about what they’ve done for their family and share without shaming or anything and honestly if you agree to disagree cool. Just because I disagree doesn’t mean I’m attacking you with my disagreement haha. Like we can be adults and talk about what worked for us and what didn’t and I’m sure it’s not gonna look identical and THATS OK! We don’t all wanna live like robots anyway. Take a rule of thumb and see if that works first and if it doesn’t try something else. Until you find what works. We should be free to talk about topics and of course stay respectful but don’t be so sensitive thinking everyone’s out to get you and say that it’s what worked for yourself and not feel the need to push it on everyone. Let’s share our alternatives and if people don’t like our idea or way of doing things then cool pray that they find what does work for them 👍🏼
I freaking love this podcast haha. They are so sweet. I don’t mind them telling it like it is. I feel bad they have to be so cautious but they seem like really good people! I wanna see no filter Jason saying what he really wants to say 😂
“I’d like a marriage on the rocks” ☠️
I could NEVER let my babies "cry it out". I would rip down a wall/house/the world to get to my baby. I wish I was more tough in a way, but every fiber of my soul couldn't handle it. Not knocking ANYONE who can handle it. My husband totally could let them cry it out. Not this mamma. Both of my kids are awesome.
Love listening to you guys whether or not we agree, but just wanted to make it clear that there’s a lot of middle ground between bed sharing and crying it out. Please don’t assume that all sleep training moms are letting their babies cry without comfort until they vomit!
Please make a podcast about raising kids without gadgets. I really try to cut my son’s screen time, but I do not know how, because I really cannot ( and do not want to) entertain him all the time. I want to rest too (plus I have a 1 year old daughter and I need to put her to sleep twice a day, for example).