Should Your Attitude Determine Your Belt Promotions in BJJ?
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- Опубліковано 12 бер 2023
- I recently spoke with a fellow BJJ coach who recently denied a young guy a promotion to Purple Belt because of his attitude. In particular the young Blue Belt gets very upset when he loses during training. To the point that it negatively affects his training and the environment around him.
And the coach was just curious whether or not I thought this was a good idea and my thoughts on it (from BJJ coach to BJJ coach).
So, in this video I share my thoughts on whether or not I think the coach made the right call with holding the promotion.
I hope the ideas I share in the video are useful to you whether you're a coach or just someone training Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.
-Chewy
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I was at a seminar with Roger Gracie and he was talking about promotions and he dropped the line of "I'm not just putting my name to your abilities but also you as a person" (this was around the time Ralph did what he did), so i can understand why that coach did what he did because if that student acts out after losing (extreme example) first question will be "who's student is he?"
What did ralph or halph do?
True, people training under a black belt are essentially his "jiu jitsu children." It's not just about what you can do on the mats.
@@maliquewilliams86 He sucker punched a dude at a BJJ tournament.
@@maliquewilliams86 got into a fight with a spectator as a spectator at a competition where his students were competing was the last thing I hear about
You are not putting any name on anyone. Person pays you for knowledge and skills. If skills are there you get promoted to compete on next level. AND if the product is BS with BS principles of promotion student must leave the retard coach
Our purple belts are expected to be leaders and help instruct and mentor other students. Attitude is very important for this.
I’m a new purple belt and I 100% understand where you are coming from. I have the utmost respect for my coach and absolutely do my best to represent him in all aspects. Can’t have a terrible attitude or ego.
Good. I was talking with family about bjj and how people who lack character and morality shouldn't be promoted.
Agreed. Your students reflect you as a coach and your community as a gym. If you don't feel good putting your stamp on someone, don't. Especially because this coach had a conversation with the kid about it, not just leaving him in the cold.
💯 Imagine going to a different gym’s open mat and being a sore loser 😖
@@KazzArie I was just at a comp where an adult man yelled and stomped and stormed off the mat because he lost. My coach would not only deny me rank, he'd forbid me to compete under his logo, and he'd be right to do so.
@@tigercrush2253 I'd expect nothing less. Makes me wonder what part of this sport didn't convey to him an understanding that some days you're the hammer and some days you're the nail.
@@KazzAriethat's exactly what our coach has told us a thousand times...."Some days you're the hammer, and some days you're the nail."
@@carrieconner2021 guess we both have some decent coaches, eh? :)))
you're not losing to your teammates...you're ALL improving as a team
This!
no you're losing to them. whenever you roll with someone and you tapped YOU LOST
@@user-fk8tr5ev8q what did you lost? Also how do you learn if you don't dare to try out new stuffs because of the fear of getting tapped?
"Iron sharpens iron"
Garbage take. This attitude is going to get you, or worse a teammate, injured. 🤮
100%. Higher colored belts are also often teachers as well, and examples that newer students look up to. Your higher belts are a big part of the gym culture, and you should not put students with bad attitude up the ranks. The belt isn't just win/loss rate, it actually isn't at all that. The belt is a mixture of showing skill backed by knowledge, and your attitude. That's why its subjective, but if there's one objective reason to NOT promote someone, it's attitude problems.
wonderfully explained. 👍
Measuring a bag of qualities with a single measure is ridiculous. How tall are you? 180 cm. How much do you weight ? 80 cm. Does it sound right? No, it does not.
Same with belts and ranks. You are either good or you are not, period. You can be the nicest guy on the planet and still be pretty bad on the mat and you can be a total jerk and kick everyone's butt. If you start mixing unrelated qualities and measure them with a single measure it quickly stops making sense. Are you a black belt in bjj or are ypu a black belt in being a nice guy ? Kinda gets blurry (and it actually is as pretty much anyone that has been around for 10-12 years and is not a jerk is a black belt now and most of them will get ragdolled by an actual competition blue belt.
If the students attitude is so bad why doesn't he just ask him to leave the school, instead of continuing to take the students money and risk his poor attitude infecting other students?
imagine being a black belt and losing to a blue belt with an attitude lol
@@darkpassenger65 The high moral stance position is we don't dump our problems onto other people we try to resolve these problems in our people because we care about our people. But the low stance view is yeah the belt system is a way of keeping people invested. If the chap leaves and joins another dojo he'd probably have to start at a lower level they aren't necessarily transferable so sometimes and in part its a loyalty programme that ensures that the dojo can continue to function and plan for its future. It can become difficult at the point when students are good enough to teach and form their own schools and perhaps are no longer able to help out instead become competitors. But that's capitalism.
That student should be involved in the highest competition circuit available to him, so that he will be able to understand how natural is to find someone better than himself, therefore how natural is to lose to other practicioners.
True happiness comes from being satisfied with achievements obtained through hard work, not from getting every single expectation fulfilled.
Dissapointment builds character if you learn how to deal with it.
As a small white belt, I can't imagine throwing a fit every time I lose. Early on I would tap out just to top pressure; losing is the norm for me. My pleasure comes from frustrating people's plans and games.
If losing is the norm for you early on, you're winning in the long run because losses are really wins AS LESSONS if you LEARN from your mistakes.
I often tapped to top pressure it’s an uncomfortable situation when you don’t have the experience
New white belt here. Same. Just happy to be there. I'm just working on survival, and defensiveness
It's not about attitude.. It's about the maturity - how mature he/she is..
This was also me at purple. I don't think I got better at Jiu-Jitsu until I decided to accept losing and not being great at something. I started to expand my knowledge and truly understand the techniques that I was using.
If you can't handle losing when you are the most skilled blue, you will probably hate being the least skilled purple.
Very inspiring, especially applying it to non-bjj stuff. Love your philosophy!
Attitude is everything in BJJ. When you do well in training, you feel great and you feel unstoppable. There are times where your training doesn't go as planned and your training partners are making it difficult for you and it just wasn't a good training session for you.
Who you are and what your attitude is like when things don't go your way in training or in competition will show. I've lost I'm competitions and had bad training sessions but in my personal experience, I just keep going. If I stop, I won't get better. If I continue training whether it was a good training session or bad competition, I'm only going to learn and get better.
Failure is a part of growth. We learn this at white belt. If a student cannot recognise that then how can he be a purple belt? It is how we deal with shortcomings that defines the journey. On any given day, there is always someone better. Failure should force you to harder. Frustration is natural, it is the actions that follow which will make or break you.
honestly id just be a blue belt whooping purple belts😂 and eventually climb up to brown
It doesn’t feel as awesome as you think it does, especially when you know you deserve it and don’t have any kind of an attitude. Some coaches engage in preferential treatment and just ignore the students who aren’t their close friends.
Brother I’m still sandbagging at white belt for the last 14 years 🤣 Blue belt from when i was a kid are now our 1st degree black belts 🥲
@@NoBody-ro3xj story of my life 😂
Sounds reasonable. I think it would depend on the nature of the attitude problem whether withholding a belt is warranted or not, but when it's something that actually inhibits someone's growth it should be taken into account.
Thank you for giving your perspective on competition, I just had my first tournament as a white belt and my first match was amazing but I lost the next 3 and it put a sour taste in my mouth because of my stupid mistakes. But I'm ready to get back at it
Dude, I just forced this mentality onto myself early as a white belt. More lower belts wanted to play top game, so I'd sit and try to play guard instead of knee takedown crap. I got passed constantly at first but I learned a ton about initial engagements, and survival from the bottom. I didn't ever want to promote without understanding guard. Put yourself in uncomfortable positions over and over, and one day you'll be sweeping everyone without fear because you know how to survive.
This is where I am now. I’m glad to read that this path paid off for you.
bro same. more people should adopt this approach.
100%. A belt isn't just a measurement of technical skill, it means that you're someone to look up to. If you're someone who white belts shouldn't be seeking help from, you're not ready to be promoted.
So it's a bit like joining the masons.
I definitely needed to hear this
If the coach is going to be making promotion decisions based on the student's qualities aside from their BJJ skill that coach is also responsible for teaching, reinforcing and helping that student improve those aspects of themselves. It's not reasonable to do one and not the other, if you're taking responsibility for them as a person you need to do that work as well even if that's just talking to them and continuing to reinforce good behaviour and training out the bad.
A student acting like that in competition is a reflection of their environment as much as it is a reflection of themselves. In conclusion, the purple belt in this story has more to learn and it's a good thing for them not to be promoted at that time. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Fear of failure is one of the main reasons, why people can't master something. But in order to master, you MUST fail.
The 9 steps of learning follow this path:
1) Recognition (you must learn of the existence first)
2) Imagination (it all starts in our head)
3) Attempt
4.) Fail
5) Practice (and fail again)
6) Refine & Repeat (the most time-consuming step of them all!)
7) Master
8) Teach
9) Create
Many people are stuck at 3, because they are afraid of 4. Society tells us failing is wrong. It isn't. It's part of the progress.
I agree Chewy I won’t promote a Student if they have a bad attitude no matter their skill level. Any bad student who remains with a negative attitude is a bad reflection of the school
Maturity is important in the higher rankings. As a purple belt myself. In the journey being humble is a huge and important part. But there is a fine line between acknowledging someones skill versus their characteristics as a human being. Jiu jitsu coaches are there to coach and promote students based on jui jitsu. Not be their life coach and coach their lives. And you should never use how dominant you are in training with you're training partners as a way to measure you're skill in belts unless you are a coach. If you're really that filled with ego. Compete and if you find yourself being destroyed and you still don't see the problem. The answer is you still require more time to develop the mindset/characteristics/skill to acquire a purple belt from youre coach. My biggest advice would be to not focus on promotions and just enjoy the journey while being humble. And the promotion will come naturally. The best lessons come from failing/losing. Only winning just fuels you're ego and gives more pride. Which will only hurt you later down the road. If you can't handle losing. You will never be able to handle winning the way you're character needs to be developed to be promoted through both winning and losing. It will be both beneficial to you and youre training partners to be a humble well rounded black belt one day that's a role model to others especially lower belts. Then to be a beast arrogant hated prideful black belt that only cares about himself. 🤙
Fantastic video. Really good point
I got my Purple Belt on March 25, 2023. I totally agree about attitude being a requirement to promotion. I believe there are multiple factors in determining ranking. Age, dedication, general knowledge, skill, attitude, the ability to raise lower levels to higher levels, and competition level. A purple belt on the mat must bring value to the gym they represent. Purple belt is a potential coaching / teaching belt. It’s a very important and should be a highly vetted rank.
Here's an area where I definitely do think that attitude should be measured.
To me the whole purpose of this type of 'greater college' if that's a good term for self-defense/self-confidence martial arts, is to promote a humble and passive attitude to match the spirit of self-defense, and self-confidence for everyone, and one make or break area here would be knowing the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.
At the higher color belts failure to distinguish this difference between assertion and aggression should be a pass-fail to me; just my opinion.
Had a guy at our gym with a similar attitude. He was a blue belt due to his wrestling background. Extremely competitive and always upset if he lost (even when he got tapped by a black belt that had 25 years of experience and outweighed him by at least 100lbs). It really affects everyone in the gym in different ways. He was targeted by upper belts who would see how much they could torture him. Lower belts would always be angry after rolling with him. I'm glad he's gone now but I hope he gets it together and turns it into something positive.
"He was targeted by upper belts who would see how much they could torture him." That's ruthlessly brilliant, hahaha. Then again, he brought it all on himself with his bad attitude.
My nephew’s kids program does put into account attitude on and off the mats. The coaches talk to the parents too to get an idea.
Win humbly - Lose Gracefully. Instructors/coaches MUST impart wisdom to all students that include your attitude is just as important as your technique on and off the matt. Hold your students accountable. They are a reflection of you and the school/academy. Each must be held to a higher standard that "the average Joe". Growing in a martial art - any martial art means it should change you from the inside out and be evident outsiders - attracting others to your academy, your coach, and your art as a whole. Absolutely the coach did the right thing. You will make him a better purple belt and a black belt in the end.
This is a good video. And a good lesson. I even subscribed after watching.
Great topic!
Great advice, thank tou
The only time failure is an option is when I'm maxing out these reps 💪
If you can’t keep your attitude in check you definitely don’t need to be ranked up. Good character definitely should be a part of promotions in my opinion
Yes
2:02 -- failing properly is easy -- I've done it thousands of times
Spot on!
Absolutely yes
Beautiful 😍 - I love the idea of my failings as currency…brilliant
Maybe this came up in the talk you had: was the student also already coached in that direction? If 'promotions' is the time to get feedback, that sucks. Especially if the feedback could have been given before. Would also have helped with the vibe on the mat.
I’ve been doing jiu jitsu for less than a month. When i asked about the whole belt thing and and my coach told me that character played a big part in promotion i was instantly more impreased with him and the sport.
I think the coach did half of a good job (from what I understood he did). It’s very harsh to let someone fail if he never got feedback on the thing he did wrong. If he’s training for bjj, the coach should coach him on the mats. On his skills ánd on his behaviour. So if he gave proper feedback on behaviour and the student refuses to learn and that’s why he’s not promoted: fair. If he only finds out his behaviour is the reason he’s not promoted: not fair because he never got a chance to improve himself.
I literally had my first "outburst" at purple, got caught by a tough white belt I wasnt pissed at the fact he caught me I was possed I let myself get put in that position 🤣 I try to make it as fun as possible when rolling with me, talk shit ect haven't had any complaints yet lol. Thanks for the video 🤙🤙
This reminds me of a recent forum discussion.
It was relating to TKD belts (so more like a stripe in BJJ) and the concept of double promotion. The person is a white belt and their grand master wanted to double promote them (think like giving 2 stripes instead of 1). Their attitude was that they know they're not worth the double rank and "It's not his decision, it's mine, I can do what I want."
On the one hand, the normal policy in TKD is that if someone is disrespectful, especially to the master or grand master, that the disrespect results in being held back on promotion. However, in this case, I think it would have the same effect as spanking a masochist.
Taekwondo doesn't work though lmao
@@Heatwave9000 You're on the wrong video. You're looking for the previous video discussing the toxicity of the online BJJ community.
This is probably the most difficult thing I see happening in gyms. For real it’s a meme that purple belts skip warm ups. Maybe it’s a generational thing (I’m a 48 YO blue belt) but I see it as an absolute disrespect of the gym and professor when people are late, train their own moves during drills, talk during teaching. I appreciate that this professor spoke to the student and was straight with them. Better that than not communicating and having a student that doesn’t learn.
The original belt system was derived from Kodokan Judo and only has three simple colors: white, brown, or black. The Gracie family created an official ranking system in the year of 1952, according to BJJ Motivation. The intention of this system was only for students who eventually wanted to become instructors.
of course it matters
2:50 "Failure is the curerency that you pay your future success with" - Chewie
I 100% agree with the assessment that attitude is an important component in the gym, and that the higher belts should be considered role models and teachers for the lower graded rollers. My concern is that this can be abused by the coaches. We have all seen gyms where there are cliques, especially amongst the purple and black belts who are sometimes in competition with each other, and favouritism shown.
Whilst I think the attitude of the student is always important, I am concerned that any system that doesn't reward technical excellence and performance for what could be a personality clash with a coach is potentially problematic. Of course there are gyms were that would never happen, but many people do not have the privilege of being in those gyms, and it is here where my concern lies. I'm not sure what the solution is, but I do this it is worth raising as a concern.
This is why I was unfairly held back at blue for so long. I never had an attitude, he just preferred to promote his friends over everyone else. The only solution is for the student to leave the gym and go where they won’t be ignored
@@micaylapresley To be honest, it is often the only solution that isn't going to cause a massive issue. I hate to advise people to leave a gym, but if they aren't grading people fairly or properly, then I would also question the quality of their jiu-jitsu.
Integrity demands that everyone should be treated equally, although that doesn't always happen. I hope you found a better gym, and had a chance to improve and grow.
I agree with the coach - attitude affects a lot of aspects of this sport including others you train with. Purple belts aren't just skilled, they are an example for others. The one thing I would add that I didn't see in the comments is that being denied the promotion shouldn't have been a surprise. If the student was up for purple belt, they've been at this a while and I suspect the attitude was nothing new. There should have been ongoing conversations and coaching and the consequences of refusing to change needed to be clear. Coaching in the moment helps avoid surprises and disappointment and a conversation before promotions would have been easier for both coach and student.
Rener Gracie once said, if you're not tapping you're not learning. And I took that to heart from white to purple, now I say that to all the new white belts. But as I kept hearing that in my head every time I train, I'd find myself over the years getting submitted less and less (which is still a lot). LOL
I agree with the Chewster on this with one caveat, the purple belt-to-be needs to know what’s holding him back because his coach TOLD HIM.
We all have imperfections in our game and spots to improve in our character and that’s what aging should be about. But if I’m a coach and I want my student to progress as fast as possible, and on all fronts, my job is to point out what’s currently holding him back. Open communication
LIke six month evaluation forms at work if they still do that
Man thanks for sanity in the world of chaos of instant gratification and satisfaction... kids nowadays don't have the depth of patience observations understanding of life art itself and everything else... it takes time to reach peaks and it takes time to settle on them and the it takes time to be able to progress further but it's a complicated process that kids would like in a pill instantly...
Denying the belt and having a talk with the student can hopefully make them accept improving their attitude as a legitimate goal, but it's not something you can just switch on. It can be very difficult to accept feedback which is so closely attached to the ego. How to give it in a way which does not make them feel rejected as a person and how to offer concrete steps to help them improve?
This was deep
Good.
Maybe I would be less mature about BJJ if I had started earlier. But being a white belt at 39, I quickly saw that I had to check my ego to survive.
My second class ever I got scissor swept and the guy went knee on belly….except he actually went knee in solar plexus and knocked the wind out of me. I walked away from that knowing most of the guys there could kick the crap out of me so getting angry or having an ego wasn’t going to work.
It's a fine line to walk between making a choice to hold a person back for their own benefit vs punishing them for a personality unlike yours or that you don't like. BJJ often runs the risk of becoming monolithic in its systems and approach to advancement.
Did the right thing!
It's a martial art, its not just about performance
Perhaps a better answer to the student coming after could have been: You have the skill to be a purple belt in a school with a lower moral standard, but here skill isn't enough.
Martial arts isn't just the actions during combat but also your actions when not
The coach made the right call. Purple is where you really start to represent your gym and coach.
Also, with that mentality, he won't progress as much as he otherwise could with a more open mind. Part of BJJ (and life) is accepting defeat with grace and moving forward.
If someone sees belt progression as a reflection of just their skills then explain to them that one of those skills is mastering themselves. A bit like bodybuilding but you always skip leg day.
In that case it shouldn’t matter to the guy. If he knows he is skilled enough to be a purple, what does it matter whether he can wear it or not. But wouldn’t it be strange if the bad attitude guy is good enough to be purple or higher, but still competing as a blue?
After 7 years (with a good attitude), I promise you’d feel a certain kind of way being ignored when you know you deserve it. It feels like working for no pay. They keep grilling you in training, you do conditioning, roll every round, compete a lot, and have wonderful friends in the gym, but you’re spinning your wheels while they get advanced ahead of you when they were white belts at the same time you were blue with stripes. It matters a lot.
Our gym promotes on your knowledge of BJJ, attitude, and the person you are on and off the mats. We had a guy that was a blue belt for 6 years.
Yes Martial Arts is more than just hitting
Haven't watched the video yet but I'd like to give my input.
I teach bjj to kids (and anyone interested in the village where I live, but everyone seem lazy except for kids, so that's how it goes) and I actually use this example all the time to make sure they maintain a healthy attitude. "If you're a bully, you will not be allowed to train in good gyms. You will not be allowed to make it to black belt if you're a bully."
I know it's not 100% correct, but it makes such an impression on them. They make the equation: Being a bully = Not rewarding.
I don't know if I'm right or wrong by doing this. I didn't mean to teach to kids, it just happened, so I do my best to give them good values along with good techniques. What do you guys think?
To some extent the coach would also have to share some responsibility in shaping the student’s attitude. Especially, if the student has been with the same instructor since white belt, throughout the time training under the instructor you would also expect the coach to teach humility which is vital to all martial arts and just life in general.
Knowledge
Character is destiny.
I agree with the coach also. Being a successful martial artist goes beyond ability and talent as a fighter. That's why Tai Lung wasn't chosen by Master Uguay to be The Chosen One in Kung Fu Panda. Haha. Seriously though, the more skills a fighter develops, the more dangerous he becomes. It is important to possess restraint, humility, and discipline. Otherwise, his dangerousness left unchecked becomes a problem, not only for his coach, his opponents, but also to himself. Thus, the more dangerous and capable a warrior becomes, the more restraint and discipline he must possess. Like Jordan Peterson put it, "A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very, very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control."
I am blue belt skinny guy and trained for many years. I can beat many purple belts. Is it okay to beat higher belt when I role with higher belts? My style is kinda tend to guard player..
I love jitsu ❤
yes attitude should partially determine rank
I used to wonder why Sambo guys and wrestlers are humiliating BJJ guys in competition and have been for some time. These comments help make the answer pretty clear.
Wrestlers are preparing for the olimpics at young age and wrestling is stage founded. Bjj players usually starts later at life and do it as a club sport with smaller talent pool.
Like comparing olimpic weight lifting to your kettlebelt home workout.
Also they are usually go against white or blue belts. I rarely see a wrestler who isn't also a bjj practitioner humiliating a bjj black belt who is same weight and same age.
Otherwise, you a "blue" belt with 12 years of grappling experience defeated a 20 years older guy who is smaller than you. Cool, bro.
This guy gets a good training from his partners but they get a suboptimal training from him because of his attitude, I think it's right to deny him the belt if he's given directions on how to improve. He'll easily get his belt in 3 months or so, so no big deal.
Your behavior reflects 100% on your sensei. Just like a child’s bad behavior reflects on the parents.
I'd be curious on the other side of the coin. While it's probably a year or so before I am ready for a blue belt promotion it's not a huge deal for me. I train because it's fun and it's taken 60lbs off my body. Not because I'm obsessed with promotions. Would you not promote someone like me who doesn't have the same value on belts that other jujitsu players do? Even if demonstrated mastery of white to blue curriculum is there?
If martal arts are weapions then you should teach behavior as well, when to use that weapion, when do not, and if martial arts is the way of life or a part of life, you should teach behavior in all parts, so belt should not just be the skill lever, but behavior and skill level. OSU
This goes back to the question of "what does a belt mean?" If attitude is part of what a belt means, then attitude is part of the promotion requirements.
When you get up the hierarchy you need to set a good example.
I think nowadays lots of my team mates want to sandbagging on their belt for long time especially in a no gi gym They just don’t want to be promoted
I am not a coach...but we are all coaches in some way right? I always tell guys that get mad after a sub to get mad but ask questions. Start with 2 questions. What did you get me with and how do I defend it. This leads to more questions and eventually the guy learns discourse instead of raging.
This ☝️
I often don’t like rolling with white belts because i am a 14 year old rolling with adults, and I often hurt myself rolling with reckless white belts. But when I get asked to spar I just can’t say no. What should I do?
Just be straight up and tell them you cant roll with them because they're too reckless or spazzy.
Why can't you say no?
@@evrose idk I just feel rude, it’s like a weird barrier keeping me from saying no😅
Say no, it’s ok.
I'm on the opposite end... I'm old and small and have to say no to younger guys for the same reasons. Just be courteous, you're not being rude. I make it a point to look out for our high schoolers that choose to train with the adults. You have your whole life ahead of you, don't get hurt due to a feeling of obligation that shouldn't be there. Also, the adults you train with should understand and be happy to take care of their "little brothers".
My gym won't grade me because I wear my Judo Gi. I go once a week, the owner is great and also a Judo black belt. I'm there to do some ground to compiment Judo which I do 3 times a week as my gym doesn't do much ground in Randori. The professors won't give me any stripes and said if I buy a gi they'd give me a bluebelt. I don't wanna buy a gi to buy a belt. I'd rather stay a no stripe white belt
Hopefully that instructor showed that student this video.
So people are just suppose to keep everything in? Just hold everything in? Ive noticed that you can't show happiness or any type of emotion in the bjj culture. Thanks for the video.
How did he make it to purple belt if he hated losing?
Most black belts don’t deserve to put their name on individuals. It’s about skill level, not ethics. Samurai were horrible warriors. If the attitude is not towards their Jiu Jitsu technique and your coaching, it’s none of your business what they believe or say outside of the gym.
Ask anyone who's been sucessfull in ANYTHING in life.. and they'll tell you they learned more from their failures than from their successes.
Just like on the job. You got bad attitude then it will affect promotion.
The problem with this style its sounds very morally uplifting. One downside is the corruption that comes when you add more subjective elements to the test and the test becomes more a vague sense of gentlemanly conduct and the belt system being added to gentleman's club. One way to overcome the problem and its a very simple way is not to care about the belt but to come for the self-improvement the training. And if you disagree with your guru or sensei or coach or professor's a rose by any name after all opinion then that's fine too. If everyone though tells you have the same the problem maybe there's more to it and you have a blind spot. People can become a little pretentious about what their honour means. I recall why Aramis turns town a commission in the Musketeers. Because it's too much for the aristocrat he was born as and too little for the bum he had become. A sign of maturity for that age if the kid shrugs it off and comes for training or goes somewhere else as well or instead because in the end it's a belt just keeps your jacket together and apparently that's not all that important in BJJ gi sparring.
Why did the discussion between the coach and the student happen after the promotion opportunity? And at the students request? Any kind of teacher, coach, trainer is partly culpable for his students failures as well as his victories. Mat skills are one thing but a coach is supposed to be well versed in the phycological (attitude) aspect of the sport as well as the physical. So hypothetically, if this "discussion" never took place the coach would continue to accept his monthly dues and be okay with it? A real coach/trainer is going to cut that student loose, but only after trying everything to address the students failures. I think this coach let his student down down.
… oh 😅
Unless it is life or death, losing is ok.
Give me some guy that gets upset when he loses & you've got a very competitive person that will push himself to become a much better fighter. Give me some guy that doesn't care much if he loses & you've got someone that likely won't get much better. So I think that coach read the tea leaves wrong.
Okay, but now the dude is going to be crushing blue belts in comp. Couldn’t that be a negative side effect for all parties involved?
I like to look at things from the other side. Suppose a guy naturally takes losing in stride, but he demonstrates the skill for the next belt. Do you not promote him because he isn't aggressive enough? So why hold back a guy who is naturally competitive? I'm not so sure I agree with holding back his belt. If I were him, I'm also not so sure that I'd stay in that school.